connormuffin

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ben platt: have you ever felt like nobody was there-

me:

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warning: mention of self harm cuts

connor's arms are laden heavy with the ghosts of his pain. he watches the lines that never truly fade, that stay embedded like a permanence of the hatred and anger that he'd spend taking out on himself. he wonders if it'll ever really go away, the scars and the tendency to become the victim of his own violence.

on the days that he feels especially down, he convinces himself that the answer is a negative.

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hello i’m Super Stuck right now on all the things i’m writing so here’s a snip from something i started months ago that i swear to god i’ll finish At Some Point. put under a cut because i don’t know how long is too long

note: in this part, zoe is 10 and connor’s 11

Connor glares at her. “You’re doing it again!”

“‘m not doing anything!” Zoe protests.

“Stop looking at me!”

“You’re looking at me!”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

Keep reading

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APPLY HERE

art by @bloomingteaart / @zoemurph. reposting the artwork is strictly prohibited unless permission from the artist is given. 

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so when are y'all gonna stop using Connor’s mental illnesses as an excuse for the way he treated Zoe?

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First and last spoken lines delivered by each character in DEH

(This is coming directly from the libretto. Things in brackets are stage directions. Except for this. But that’s implied, I guess. Anyway…)

Evan

First- Dear Evan Hansen: Today is going to be an amazing day, and here’s why.

Last- He’ll keep going until he sees the sun.

Connor

First before death- I already said I’d go tomorrow. I’m trying to find a compromise here.

Last before death- Fuck you.

First after death- Why don’t you talk to Zoe?

Last after death- You can get rid of me whenever you want. You can get rid of all of it. The Connor Project. The orchard. But then all that you’re going to be left with is… you.

Zoe

First- He’s definitely high.

Last- I wanted to be sure you saw this.

Jared

First- Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much or do you consider that an honor?

Last- (Like a helpless, heartbroken little kid) Fuck you, Evan. Asshole.

Alana

First- Hey. How was your summer?

Last- If you’ve ever felt alone like Connor, then please consider making a donation to the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard. No amount is too small.

Heidi

First- So you just decided not to eat last night?

Last- You’ll see. I promise.

Cynthia

First- It’s your senior year, Connor. You are not missing the first day.

Last- (The truth finally beginning to sink in) Oh God.

Larry

First- You have to go to school, Connor.

Last- But you knew about the orchard. He took you to the orchard.

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i wish that plantlife would grow all around me so i won’t feel dead anymore

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like if you save/use.

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AWH THEY’RE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL

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evan hansen took the sat with essay on august 25th, 2018 and it was the best test of his life

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this is Fine

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After all you put me through, don’t say it wasn’t true– That you were not the monster… that I knew.

(I’m illustrating every song on the DEH soundtrack, see more here!)

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quick question what the fuck is this song

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me: zoe murphy

you: LOUD CHEERING

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so, a year ago today, i got to see dear evan hansen in person. i watched the bootleg for the first time since, and i couldn’t help myself…. i love this show with my entire heart!!! it will always be so special to me

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quick starry ev doodle

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