falsisystem

[falsisystem]

Feeling yourself falling down inside of you. Deeper and deeper, slowly being pulled into the underground, the void inside of you you’re strangely not that familiar with. It’s you, you should be familiar with you, right? Slow in motion but you feel it happening, not being able to quite understand it, or take it all in. In fact, every second that passes there’s less and less to take in. Your vision is blurred, your eyes are like windows you’re seeing through from inside a dark house, only you’re still falling, further and further away from those windows, the light becoming smaller and smaller and out of reach. You don’t think to check your other senses. Maybe you hear something, there’s noise all around you, but you can’t process it because your body is a mile away, there’s an ocean of pitch black nothingness between here and there, and the only thing grounding you now is the belief that there is a surface somewhere. There is, you were there seconds ago. But now you’re not. Do you want to go back? Do you want to go back? Do I have a choice? Do you?

[falsisystem]

:/

[falsisystem]

Does anyone else kinda wishes there was a “how to DID” guide online so you could be one of those more organized systems I’ve been seeing online or is that just me

[falsisystem]

it’s just so crazy to me how some systems on tumblr seem to know who they are all the time, who’s fronting, and have a clear line that separate each alter’s personality. i can only even name 3 or 4 headmates, and idk who I am right now, maybe none of them and maybe a mix of one of them and something else entirely. I was reading things we’ve wrote over the past few days and I just know I’m not Z or jane cause I don’t remember whatever the fuck zoey did that “fucked us over” as Jane put it in one of her rants, seriously can’t remember for the life of me, and it seems somewhat serious. jfc I’m in a dark place rn.

[falsisystem]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

[falsisystem]

"Worst thing about plurality is the amnesia" "worst thing about plurality is in-sys fighting" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER worst thing about plurality is the strain on our bank account trying to accommodate eight different fashion styles

[falsisystem]

(asking my system friend who's fronting)hey so uhh.. what user is logged in right now

[falsisystem]

i’ve been alone for weeks. and even before that the only other alters who showed up only fronted very briefly or not even that, only connected with me like a temporary merge, and all that since 1 specific alter fronted for a few days straight and fucked some shit up for us and tbh embarrassed us a bit but literally none of us is mad at her (like i even had a couple openings where i could’ve at least tried to take over but i didn’t) but i haven’t felt her inside in weeks and it’s getting me stressed

[falsisystem]

Not new to being a system (obviously?), but I don’t know anyone else with DID (online or not) and tbh I still don’t know that much about it outside of our own experiences, so I’m sorry if I don’t use the “proper” terms when I talk about us; if any of us ever say something offensive or inappropriate, please let us know!

Just a little bit about all of us: First of all, we all go by she/her, we’re all bi, and we’re on our early 20s. I’m Jane, I front about 80% of the time (I’m the one that deals with pretty much all of the bullshit of life™); I feel that my opinions, likes and dislikes aren’t that different from the others — I like to think that I have a little bit of (almost) everyone in me. I’m definitely not aware of everything the others do, think and feel, but most of it; when I’m not fronting, it USUALLY (not always) feels like I’m in the backseat of the car, still able to watch whoever’s fronting drive, if I want. Oh, also, we try to tag our posts with whoever wrote it, but we’re new to this, so I doubt we’ll be posting a lot for now :)