ghostwolf

[ghostwolf]

happy pride to yall!!!

haven't been posting for a while, but I'm not dead, hella stuff is happening around me now, not super great and everything

btw I'm graduating from college soon, breaks a lot of branches for me, still not really happy with my life, parents push me to far with the cameoutofnowhere need to go to university, even though none of them is planning to pay for that

still doing shitty, but I'm giving high hopes for this summer, I wish for everyone who's reading this is doing or going to be doing well, nothing is permanent, you should remember this about bad thing more than ever, remember the good ones, because they were good while they lasted, and don't let your mind get caught on the bad stuff

a love yall, you're doing very good, even though it feels hard, you're good just for staying and trying and hoping, even if you feel like falling out, it is okay

[ghostwolf]

a wierd effin thing happened to me last night

for fuck sake I overcame my fear for trying to get physical with a person but stuff never went any further than me feeling just pain due to this thing being kinda first time

i just don't get it, why can't i perform? i was ready, everything went good and everything was fine, i'm aroace but this isn't the reason for shure, i really wanted to do this but now i just feel broken shattered and miserable

[ghostwolf]

got in an argument with some transphobic weirdos

it makes me upset people give a shit about something that doesn't have to do anything with them

i posted about support for misgenderded trans and nonbinary people that haven't come out yet or being misgenderded on purpose i was referring to the trans community, but some person though they have to "calm me down" saying that i should stop being pissed off by such stuff and a lot of other shit i actually don't wanna bring up here

that really fucked up my day

[ghostwolf]

my friend have bonded with people online, they're friends now but i feel myself so abonded for this...

my friend take breaks from online sometime, but still post and be active with their new friends

it makes me feel that they're taking break from me, am i the case? it makes me feel so bad i'm literally crying while writing this.... sm shit is just fell over me, i can't handle anything, even things like this

the problem is not just that "what if my friend is tired of me?" it's that why do i text so much important stuff to them and they reply on least filled with sense texts, like, that's just makes me feel so unheard, i know it's a problem of me talking only to them, but i don't want anyone else, i don't need billions of friends, we had amazing friendship, but this "break from the adds" just suddenly started out of nowhere, my friend told me that they forsed themselves to keep in touch with my, but why now it's only me they're not talking to during that?

[ghostwolf]

yep, she was very rude about it and said to me that i'm the one she was pulling to do the job and she was the one who really worked

SORRY YOU FUCKED IN A HEAD STRAIGHT DORKISH BITCH I'M PUTTING MY COLLEGE IN FRONT OF SOME LOW-CLASS JOB, UNLIKE YOU - DOING OPPOSITE!!!!!

at the same time i feel myself so gaslighted and tossed around, such a shitty feeling grrrgrh....

wanna throw up with my guts and actually commit suicide in 1811395 ways possible

[ghostwolf]

one specific bitch from my job had to give me money, there was a situation where i had to do 60 orders and she'll get bonus money for my job but she offered to share them with me

i complete 20 orders but she said she'll finish my gob for me and take all money to herself

now i decided to text her about that, because if i calculate it, i still have some money to get, she could've just never suggested to share that

[ghostwolf]

kinda sad my bffl answers my text supa rare, I mean, it's fine everyone needs a break from the adds, but I'm so lonely without them, you know like feeling alone in a crowd but alone in the whole world, people would say "just find someone to talk to during that" NO BABES I DON'T WANT NOBODY ELSE I NEED MY FRIEND WHEN I NEED MY FRIEND SORRY THIS COUNTS AS AN EGOISM AND SELFISH BEHAVIOR I'M JUST AN ANGSTY VOIDED THING OKAY???????

sometimes i even cry about that, but i just know there's nothing you can do about it from any side of situation

[ghostwolf]

so my friend just betrayed me with our plan on spontaneously going to other city

really pisses me of

why does everything happen to fall apart because of stupid boyfriends

[ghostwolf]

wow actually survived this winter

hate snow sm, it exposes you whole

[ghostwolf]

it's wolfkin for now i guess

[ghostwolf]

i feel absolute aggression and madness because i can't decide of like

i wanna be a wolf or a cat........ or a bat or a spider or even a moth

why in this useless world full of emptiness and suffer you always have to choose????

[ghostwolf]

heyaaaaa i'm here to post shit when i feel like it

fell comfortable and enjoy my animal rage behavior

this blog may look sad and depressed....because it is!