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You! You're worth love! Be strong and brave enough to be kind! I believe in you.

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Baby Richard Grayson getting sick for the first time was like hitting the Defcon 5 button in Wayne Manor. Bruce was completely beside himself. Every time he gets sick, he just drinks more coffee, slams some Excedrin, and goes out against Alfred's orders, but now his BABY has a FEVER what does he DO? Does he need to PRAY THE ROSARY? The boy is sweating and shivering at the same time, does he need more blankets or no blankets? Is he like a plant? Is he going to wilt? Is the PH of the soil too high? Every little cough sends him into a sobbing spiral, get the hell away from him, he is dangerous right now.

Meanwhile, Alfred is pushing Bruce out of the way, handling this flu like an experienced mother of three, and within two days, he has Dick back to doing frontflips off the chandelier.

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Clark: Bruce, you need to have more.

Bruce: More what?

Clark: More kids.

Bruce: Why?

Clark, keeping very still as a criminally adorable 12 year old Dick Grayson, wearing his Superman pj's, snores softly in his arms after their monthly Star Wars marathon: Why, to help you fight more crime, of course.

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Bless you

Need the fluffiest, softest, cuddliest, wholesomest, most comforting batfamily fics that exist on AO3. If I could get some recs I would be eternally thankful.

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Jason walks in on a Batfamily cuddle pile and almost chokes.

They're practically stacked on top of each other on the living room couch; Damian lying his head on Dick's arm and his feet over Bruce's legs, Steph leaning into Tim who's half-draped over a sleepy Duke, Cas somehow draped over the back of the sofa so she can steal Dick's chips. Even Alfred is sipping tea in an armchair with a blanket over his knees. They're watching some stupid old movie, and there's nothing but silent love and contentment in the room.

And Jason just can't process this, because fuck, that's it. That's the very picture of the family he's been aching for, since before he even realized he was aching. That's what he's convinced he can't have. This is the yearning and pain he's been scared of, the fear that's kept him from staying at the manor. He and Bruce have been on good terms for a long while, but he just knows that he can never be a part of this. He just knows-

"Jay," Bruce says absently, "Your brother's ten extra pounds is giving my arm pins and needles, can you take over?"

And without a fucking thought, Jason is shucking off his jacket, saying hello to grandpa Alfred, and sliding in between Bruce and Dick. His older brother shifts perfectly, mumbling something about his "ten extra pounds" and offering Jason popcorn. Jason will always doubt his place in the family, but that's okay, because his family carries all the certainty for him.

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Oh, my favorite thing? Batman's ears flicking and folding to convey emotion like a cat's.

Does it make sense? No. Those ears are just a part of his helmet. If they did move, it would be because he gave them the mechanical ability to, and he somehow programmed them to react based on how he felt. Would Batman ever do that? Mm no. Do I still advocate for it in every Batman project? yesssssssss.

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Spiralling. Spiralling.

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okay. i js saw your headcannon abt the batfamily acting like your cat by wanting to be watched on yt. but i can't find it anywhere somehow. maybe i'm stupid. i wanted you to know and maybe drop the link so i can do a lil repost and like... <3

the vid is on yt by specular dc, i wanted to drop the link but tumblr said no...

Lol, all good! I actually didn't know my stuff was on yt so that's a cool surprise. OG post is here.

I've also lowkey been wanting to add to that post, so I guess I'll just put my addition here:

When she wants to eat, my cat meows angrily at me until I literally stand up and walk to her bowl so she can have dinner with her human bodyguard watching. This leads me to conclude that-

A: The robins get very vocal and very incessantly loud when they want Bruce to supervise their little mundane activities. As a child, Dick would literally just throw back his head and scream, with a blank expression, until B stared at him eating chips.

B: Bruce actually tolerates this and has done nothing to make them stop. Yes, it's terribly distracting and time-consuming (he literally has like 7 children), but he's flattered that they trust him to the point of this lunacy.

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Nah let them kiss

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Saw your "Give me your batman brain" post and IMMEDIATELY hit that follow button. Unironically, I think this communicative shorthand really would work wonders with ALL the bats. It's like the "do you want a solution or do you want to vent?" cue. Perfect!!

Thank you so much !!!

They probably have a family-insider shorthand for everything. None of them, even Dick, is 100% perfect at plainly communicating how they feel, so having little games or codewords to convey emotionally vulnerable concepts is a godsend.

Other ideas I have are:

When something is wrong, but they're not quite ready to put it into words, they ask Alfred to make tea. This is because Alfred always knows exactly how much time they need alone with their thoughts, and he only comes back with the tea tray once they've had enough time to articulate how they feel. It is a sacred rule to sit in silence while the tea-requester has not yet been served.

If someone seems to need help even when they don't want it, you don't offer to help them. You say, "Wow, Arkham seems really quiet tonight." Jason coined it, and it's so ominously foreboding that it makes people imagine the worst, thus pressuring them into finally asking for help.

If someone is close to their emotional breaking point, they can update their comm status as "Batmobile Maintenance." The Batmobile never actually needs maintenance because it's either in pristine condition or completely totaled. "Batmobile Maintenance" really just means "I need to go to my happy space or I'm going to do something we all regret."

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Damian, presenting a shiny object: I believe this should cover it, father.

Bruce: Cover what?

Damian: A hug. I wish to have one. I have brought payment. I understand that Grayson does not require this transaction for hugs, but as the head of the household, I assume yours come with fees?

Bruce: ... I am going to murder your grandfather.

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I just found out that my cat will only eat when I'm watching her because she expects me to keep her safe while she drops her guard, and now I just gotta imagine the Batkids doing similar things to Bruce.

Duke wants to do that thing where Alfred dumps warm laundry on him? Well Bruce needs to be in the room, please.

Tim wants to play videogames on his ipad? Perched on the arm of Bruce's office chair while he talks to investors.

Jason wants to read a book? Lounging on the couch he moved to the Batcave while Bruce is working.

Dick wants to take a lil nap? Propped up against B's side and snoring.

Dami's finally decided to pause training and eat a meal? He makes Bruce hold the soup bowl.

Cassandra's lacing up her new pointe shoes? She's using Bruce as a ballet bar.

Steph's cutting her bangs as a chaotic form of entertainment? Bruce is the one parting her sections.

Sure, they could also be using Alfred for this form of quiet assurance, but if they do, he'll magically have them doing chores within minutes.

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Batman's utility belt is like Mary Poppins' infinite space bag, but for his children's snacks. Could be a whole ass roticery chicken in there, who knows. On a hot night, all the robins have to say is "Bruce, pop." And he will pull out a fully frozen popsicle from his hip holster like he's some sort of goddamn magical ice cream man.

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When Nightwing tells Justice League members that Batman makes him laugh, obviously, everyone knows that he's joking, because that's Batman. How the hell does That make anybody laugh?

But then really weird things start to happen. Like suddenly, Batman starts making little quips that toe the line between sarcasm and puns. He begins to humor the stupid ideas that other heroes come up with purely for comedic purposes. He even admits things like "Jesus, I'm getting so old, if I hurt my back much more, spin class is going to be an issue."

And the thing is, Batman only does these things when Nightwing is around, and it literally always earns a laugh from the younger hero. Sometimes they high-five after Nightwing recovers from a fit of giggles. At this point, nobody knows that they're father and son, so this type of behavior is just really freaking people out.

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Clark: Brucie baby. Pudding pop. Sugar sweet. Peaches and cream. My dearest darling. My honey lemon loaf. My moon. My sun. My- Bruce, actively shaking: S-Stop. My nervous system can't handle this. I need epinephrine. Clark, hugging him too tight for him to escape: No, silly. You need love and affection. Let this happen.

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☆。*。☆。F4 Family Hcs

They've all been on Sesame Street AND the muppets.

Johnny gets his fashion sense from Sue. Those open shirts and tailored pants with an accent belt that everybody went crazy for? That's the older sister effect. Whenever he's on the red carpet and people ask what he's wearing, he always says, "Ask my sister."

Ben is the head chef for multiple soup kitchens and food charities. The few recipes he's made public have been indoctrinated forever into the memories of New Yorkers for generations to come.

They have a family playlist. I need somebody to make this playlist. I will pay you in heart emojis.

One day, Reed drags Johnny onto the kids' science show he hosts, just to demonstrate a basic combustion principle. Johnny expects to hate every second of it. He loves it. He loves it when the kids climb all over him, eagerly asking questions and trusting his answers. He loves seeing their eyes light up with wonder. And he gets to talk about space! Within a week, he has his own segment.

H.E.R.B.I.E. has touch sensors on top of his head, so he can feel when people give him little scratches and pats.

Reed finds out that everyone has done research on panic attacks just so they can better support his anxiety. He tries not to cry when he thinks about it. He cries anyway. He loves his family so much.

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Tim reboots the Batcomputer software every couple months, but on the newest update, he forgets to change the code words he uses for batfamily before publishing the code.

Bruce is mildly surprised when he boots up the mainframe and the screen flashes, "Welcome Back Walking Wallet, Aka PTA Warrior, AKA Nagging Ninja, Aka Batdad," but he knows that it's his fault for letting Tim into the software, so he lets it go.

Jason's permanent username is now Therapy Topic and he hasn't let it go for months.