lemmebeskinnylikenat

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

Lemme tell yall ed twt and ed Tumblr are two WHOLLLLEEE different ball games

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

"You like being degraded?"

Bitch I'm an Ed account 😃🧍🏾‍♀️

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

*Something bad happens to me*

Me: "It's because I'm fat, isn't it?"

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

AYO I NEED AN ANA COACH OR JUST SOMEONE TO HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE , idc, you can be as mean as you want to me!! Dm me or smthing please !!! *PS* if anyone is actually considering it, I do not guarantee anything because this is the internet lol, you could be a psycho killer for all I know, so if I say 'no thank you' please respect that and don't track me down and kill me !!

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

Found out the toxicity works for me, the "only skinny people deserve to breathe" mentality seems to be so efficient 😭😭.

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

this is hell

TW,,ed

Christmas update since I was dead, it was horrible, I lost 10 pounds then I fucking got sick, my parents were basically forcing me to eat a lot so I could get better so then I gained like 5 pounds, I somehow got it back down to how I started (I’m not sure how I think it was me being sick that aided my miracle weight loss idk) but then guess what?? God decided to bless me, which he rarely does, with my church doing a 1 week fast for religious purposes so now I have an excuse to not eat ALL FRICKING WEEK BABY, could not be happier, I’ll tell you how it goes (hopefully)

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

Nevermind lol, I have exams, I wanna do well on em, and I have to eat and shit in order to do that lol sooo recovery is a go I guess, maybe I’ll just eat study and then exercise until I can’t. idk 

TW,,ed

Christmas update since I was dead, it was horrible, I lost 10 pounds then I fucking got sick, my parents were basically forcing me to eat a lot so I could get better so then I gained like 5 pounds, I somehow got it back down to how I started (I’m not sure how I think it was me being sick that aided my miracle weight loss idk) but then guess what?? God decided to bless me, which he rarely does, with my church doing a 1 week fast for religious purposes so now I have an excuse to not eat ALL FRICKING WEEK BABY, could not be happier, I’ll tell you how it goes (hopefully)

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

TW,,ed

Christmas update since I was dead, it was horrible, I lost 10 pounds then I fucking got sick, my parents were basically forcing me to eat a lot so I could get better so then I gained like 5 pounds, I somehow got it back down to how I started (I’m not sure how I think it was me being sick that aided my miracle weight loss idk) but then guess what?? God decided to bless me, which he rarely does, with my church doing a 1 week fast for religious purposes so now I have an excuse to not eat ALL FRICKING WEEK BABY, could not be happier, I’ll tell you how it goes (hopefully)

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

hola

I’m back lol might not post as much but heyyy

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

Bye for a while

I am not committing suicide as much as I want to lol, just wont be as active because I’m throwing myself into school until maybe around christmas, I might like smthing here and there but I am gonna try to limit my social media. Let’s just hope I dont kill myself because the internet is like my only escape.

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

tw-ed rant

Every day my hatred for my body gets worse and my desire to be perfect is increased, 2019 me would be over the fucking moon to look how I look now, but now it’s gotten to the point where when I look in the mirror I feel physically sick. I’ve come so far but all I can see is how much further I have to go. 

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

nooooo cause the way this spoke volumes

Remember being like 13 and being like I'm a creep I'm a weirdo.. And then you get older and you're like oh I was just 13 actually. And then you get older again and you're like maybe I was onto something maybe there is something wrong with me

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

💀💀💀 hE was manipulating me, I only realized now that I’ve stepped back and really took a looked at it and when he asked me to get back with him, hell nah, can’t believe I ate cake over him... 

oop twed kinda idk anymore lol

just got broken up with, GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS! BINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE TIMEEEEEEE but fr tho, why can’t i be dead lol.

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

DON’T BE STUPID

PEOPLE, DO NOT STICK OUT YOUR NECK FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT DESERVE THE EXTRA EFFORT!!!!!!

they will probably just break it lol. 

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

‘tw3d’

Only consumed 100 calories today AND WENT TO My FUCKING SPIN CLASS, idk if it’s the same in other countries, but over here? they be playing heavy ass music like calypso and shit and it is so vigorous and intense and yet I still maintained my position as the 1st t in the class (I am not trying to brag I’m just being honest, I do not think I'm better than anybody, but when I say I’m good at something I mean it) and the calories were all from a protein shake that I mixed with coffee. THANK FUCK FOR COFFEE. couldn’t be here without her,  she my life line, my 4 lifer and ride or die 😩

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

tw-3d

I be scared as fuck to edit my cw just incase I go backup lol

[lemmebeskinnylikenat]

NAH CAUSE SAME

My cycle really is:

Shit i ate much and the scale agrees so im gonna work out and eat little today

Next day: okey im neautral but i didn't lose any weight so I'll work out and eat less today too

Next day: oh i lost weight! Now i can eat a bit more cuz im feeling weak

Next day: oh shit i gained...

And then it just goes around like that

Also i havent fucking pooped for real in like 5 days and i feel like I'm just storing a weeks worth of food. Like can i poop so I'll lose weight?

I know it doesn't work like that but...still

Today i ate 1099 cals and burned at least 504 cals. Also the body burns about 1000 cals a day and thats if you literally just lay in bed all day so i should lose weight

Tomorrow im starting as a substitute at a kindergarden. Im gonna be there until Christmas and it's so hard not to eat when they are eating. I'm actually required to have lunch with them and I can't bring my own food so i can't control what I eat, only how much i eat...