mateooo88

[mateooo88]

I did a fyodor analysis a bit ago, so why not do nikolai? im going to do a somewhat different format of analysis for nikolai, starting off with his surface persona,

Nikolai is all flamboyance and theatrics. A magician, a clown, a dramatist of the grotesque, he twirls, teases, and toys with his enemies—and his allies, like they’re part of some deranged circus. But none of it is for fun. Not really, Nikolai isn’t joy. He’s freedom weaponized. And his laughter is just the sound of someone screaming so beautifully, so desperately, they forgot how to stop.

1. Psychopathy vs. Performance

Nikolai walks the line between insanity and performance art. He’s not simply mad—he’s performing madness with surgical intent. Behind the smiles, his actions show,

• A disregard for human life

• A tendency to create emotional whiplash in others— compassion in one moment, cruelty in the next.

• A need to destroy control structures, including moral ones, which suggests trauma rather than aimless sadism.

• He's unpredictable, not because he lacks reason, but because his logic belongs to another world entirely.

2. Self delusion vs. Self awareness

He insists he wants "freedom"—from rules, morality, even pain. But everything he does contradicts that,

He suffers when friends die (emotional attachment)

He kills to feel unbound—but mourns it afterward

He is a man desperately trying to amputate his own soul—and failing.

3rd of all, the philosophy of Freedom,

Nikolai worships freedom the way a zealot worships a distant god, screaming up to the sky, tearing apart everything around him in hopes of ascending.

But his idea of freedom is terrifying, it consist of the following,

• Freedom from morality

• Freedom from consequence

• Freedom even from self

This radical freedom repeats existentialist themes (like Dostoevsky or Camus, the actual authors.), but taken to extremes. To Nikolai, freedom isn't the right to just live— it's the right to detach entirely from meaning, to transcend the burden of empathy, purpose, and guilt.

He wants to kill the part of him that feels—and he masks this with jokes and tricks, because crying would be too honest.

Lastly, Symbolism.

Last time I contributed the mythology of rats to fyodor, now I will use jesters, for, of course, Nikolai!

He dresses like a jester; a historical figure both mocked and feared. The jester could say anything, even to a king, because truth is safest when it’s disguised as comedy. Nikolai wears that role to mock the world—but also to shield himself from it.

The White Mask (facial appearance) represents,

Purity, emptiness, performance. It’s a lie he wants to believe in. That he’s nothing. That he’s free. But he’s not.

Rope and Scissors,

His desire to “cut the rope” is a metaphor for severing all bonds: moral, emotional, spiritual. But in truth?

The more he cuts, the more tangled he becomes.

In the end, overall,

Nikolai is not a villain. He is a man trying to annihilate the cage he sees in every breath, every rule, every feeling—and in doing so, he becomes something worse than evil,

A hollow man with a smile carved into his skin,

dancing for no one,

bleeding behind the curtain.

He is what happens when you cut every string, and still feel the pull.

[mateooo88]

Where would I be without useless daydreaming

[mateooo88]

Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:

Men are not inherently Evil

Everyone has the capacity for evil

Transgender Men are men

Transgender Women are women

Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)

Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement

Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators

Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"

Edited the wording on the first point because too many terfs keep thinking I'm their friend.

[mateooo88]

I was thinking about the psychological profile, philosophical profile, symbolism, and overall analysis of fyodor, and thought I'd share it :3 (also requested by my friend, zizi!!!)

Fyodor is definitely not insane. He is clarity distilled into cruelty, his intelligence is sharp enough to wound, and his presence can be seen as quiet, mannered, even tender at times, feels less like calm and more like still water above a black trench. He is the kind of man who could kill you mid prayer and whisper 'May God forgive us both.'

If you were to look at him from a clinical perspective, Fyodor presents as a high functioning psychopath, he lacks empathy yet understands it well enough to counterfeit it when needed. He has no interest in domination through brute force. Instead, he opts for control through inevitability—turning the enemy’s own mind, morals, and fears against them.

3 major parts of the psychological side of him can be,

• Cognitive empathy — He understands how people think, what they fear, what they value

• Moral detachment – He does not recognize the sanctity of life— only the sanctity of order or ideology.

• Narcissistic asceticism — His self-denial (minimalist dress, avoidance of indulgence) is not humility, but superiority disguised as piety, he is above worldly pleasures because he seeks something beyond the world.

moving onto the philosophical side of him,

Fyodor embodies the nietzschean ubermensch warped into spiritual nihilism, where dostoyevsky the author once wrote, in the brothers karamozov, "If God does not exist, everything is permitted" In the show, fyodor reverses the lens, “Because God does exist, everything must be cleansed.”

He isn’t an atheist, he’s worse. He’s a theological fatalist. To him, suffering is divine currency. Death is not evil; it is purifying. The world is a broken equation and Fyodor believes he is the godsent variable to correct it, even if that means breaking every soul to do it. (which you can label as a savior complex.)

He sees morality as a human construct, fragile and flawed. Instead, he moves according to cosmic arithmetic; cold logic, divine punishment, and a sense of destiny that puts him outside the reach of conventional good or evil. To him, "Mercy is weakness. Pain is clarity. Death is math."

and then, the symbolism,

In mythology, rats are both survivors and symbols of plague. Fyodor aligns with this duality; he spreads rot, but always escapes the trap.

His black clothing can be seen as a reflection of mourning, but not his own. He is eternally dressed for the funeral of mankind.

The name, itself, “Dostoyevsky”, A callback to themes of guilt, divine justice, and inner torment, but unlike the original Dostoyevsky’s characters, BSD Fyodor has killed his conscience and called it enlightenment.

Lastly, id like to talk about his relationship to death and power,

Fyodor doesn’t fear death, instead he romanticizes it. He treats life like a riddle, unsolvable while inside it, perfectly logical in the rearview. To him, people are merely pieces, and he doesn't move them with hatred or pleasure. He moves them like a mathematician balances an equation. Efficiently. Without waste.

He isn't in love with power in the traditional sense. He desires finality, the collapse of corrupt systems, the silencing of chaos, the 'correct' end of the human narrative. If others must die to reach that still point, so be it. In fact, so must he. His own life is just a tool for his design.

Overall, Fyodor Dostoyevsky is the kind of man who could burn down a city and call it mercy. He is not chaos for chaos’s sake—but order so absolute that it becomes indistinguishable from annihilation.

He is the devil in the mirror of God.

A poet of quiet ruin,

and his verses are written in blood, logic, and silence.

[mateooo88]

I love him sk much 😿😿

atsushi....my son, sniffle...

[mateooo88]

SSKK small hc !

Every so often, Atsushi and Akutagawa run into each other outside of anything official– always by accident, always at the most inconvenient times. Once, it was at a bookstore, both reaching for the same rare edition of something obscure and out of print. They froze, stared, and immediately began arguing about who saw it first, but neither could justify actually buying it in front of the other. So they both just left it. A few days later, Atsushi found a package outside the agency, wrapped in plain paper. Inside was the book. No note. Just clean, neat, small handwriting penciled faintly into the inside cover, "Don’t lose it." Atsushi doesn’t mention it, but he starts carrying cough drops in his pocket after that, and for when they meet again, or get paired up again— for which this time it's in some quiet alley on a quiet errand— he tosses a pack at Akutagawa without a word. Akutagawa catches it without looking. Neither of them smiles. But neither of them says no.

Atsushi still carries coughdrops for Akutagawa months after that. It turned into a habit to carry coughdrops even when he wasn't sure if he was going to see Akutagawa.

[mateooo88]

— INTRODUCTION

hi!! my name is mateo, also known as percy!! i go by he/him, though they/them prns are also alright; im trans & homosexual (as well as aromantic) I have many interests (which I will go into depth about, as well to explain what kind of content I'm planning to post :p) im diagnosed with type 1 autism, ADHD & c-ptsd, which, I will post alot about!! (rep, essays, etc) im also Hispanic, Columbian & Costa Rican. I speak both Spanish & English, I might make spelling or grammar errors as English is unfortunately not my first language!!

interests / fandoms

as you can see, im mainly into bsd, but there's others! such as, hxh, jjk, crk, sonic, saiki k, omori, young Sheldon, madoka magica, arcane, ouran high school host club, south park, ddlc, tdi, all of us are dead, goodnight world, world trigger, stranger things, pjsk, kny, eddsworld, bnha, fnaf, Steven universe, star vs the force of evil, the amazing digital circus, mlp, marvel/DC, mashle, the apothecary diaries, aot, Alice in borderland, devil may cry, black butler, the promised never land, darwin's game, frieren, death note, a silent voice, bird box, mop psycho 100, haikyuu, sword art online, Nana, fairy tail, banana fish, no game no life, tbhk, assassination classroom, the case study of vanitas, high rise invasion & more !

content / posting

im mostly going to be posting characters/shows/game/ships analysis, headcannons, writing pieces (such as essays, short responses, etc), (blank) week prompt's answers, I may also take requests .. you can also find me on ao3 :3

DNI / BYF

I don't dislike many people, other than the basic dni list. (proshippers, racist, homophobic, etc), other than that it would be bsd haters / atsushi haters. Anybody who fake-claims DID/OSDD systems because of dumb reasons and endosystems.