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[pratchettquotes]

Walking was important, Vimes had always said, and because Vimes said it Carrot believed it. Walking and talking. Walk far enough and talk to enough people and sooner or later you had an answer.

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

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"The problem with Mister Nutt is that people want to kill him."

"What people?"

Ridcully stared into Ponder's eyes. His lips moved. He squinted up and down like a man engaged in complex calculation. He shrugged.

"Probably everybody," he said.

Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

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"But he's...gone. It's not as though I'm ever likely to see him again."

YOU KNOW YOU WILL.

"How do you know that?"

YOU'VE ALWAYS KNOWN. YOU REMEMBER EVERYTHING. SO DO I. BUT YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOUR MIND REBELS FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. SOMETHING GETS ACROSS, THOUGH. DREAMS, PERHAPS. PREMONITIONS. FEELINGS. SOME SHADOWS ARE SO LONG THEY ARRIVE BEFORE THE LIGHT.

"I don't think I understood any of that."

WELL, IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY.

Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

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"Nevertheless, sir, taxes must be levied and paid. The city is growing. All of this must be paid for."

"Indeed," said Vetinari. "I could have taxed all kinds of things, but I have decided to tax something that you could eminently do without. It's hardly addictive, is it?"

"Some people tend to think so, sir. There is a certain amount of grumbling, sir."

Vetinari did not look up from his paperwork. "Drumknott," he said. "Life is addictive. If people complain overmuch, I think I will have to draw that fact to their attention."

Terry Pratchett, Snuff

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The fighting was over in Ephebe. It hadn't lasted long, especially when the slaves joined in. There were too many narrow streets, too many ambushes and, above all, too much terrible determination. It's generally held that free men will always triumph over slaves, but perhaps it all depends on your point of view.

Besides, the Ephebian garrison commander had declared somewhat nervously that slavery would henceforth be abolished, which infuriated the slaves. What would be the point of saving up to become free if you couldn't own slaves afterwards? Besides, how'd they eat?

The Omnians couldn't understand, and uncertain people fight badly.

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

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You were there, you had the hat, you did the job. That was a basic rule of witchery: It's up to you.

Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

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"Why don't you just crawl back into your coffin and die, you slimy little maggot," Agnes said. It wasn't that good, but impromptu insults are seldom well crafted.

Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

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"Some of these are powerful nations, gentlemen. Many of them don't like Klatch's current expansionist outlook, but they don't like us much, either."

"Whyever not?" said Lord Selachii.

"Well, because during our history those we haven't occupied we've tended to wage war on," said Lord Vetinari. "For some reason the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory."

"Oh, history," said Lord Selachii. "That's all in the past!"

"A good place for history, agreed," said the Patrician solemnly.

Terry Pratchett, Jingo

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Nanny stared reflectively at the glow in the forge.

There was a bottomless quality to Nanny Ogg's silences. And also a certain directional component. Jason was quite clear that the silence was being aimed at him.

He always fell for it. He tried to fill it up.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

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"And what would humans be without love?" RARE, said Death. NEVERTHELESS--

Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

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Klatchian coffee has an even bigger sobering effect than an unexpected brown envelope from the tax man. In fact, coffee enthusiasts take the precaution of getting thoroughly drunk before touching the stuff, because Klatchian coffee takes you back through sobriety and, if you're not careful, out the other side, where the mind of man should not go. The Watch was generally of the opinion that Samuel Vimes was at least two drinks under par, and needed a stiff double even to be sober.

Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

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Hour after hour, it went on, with a patience that at first terrified and then bored. It was the warfare of clerks, and it harried the enemy through many columns and files. Moist could read words that weren't there, but the clerks found the numbers that weren't there, or were there twice, or were there but going the wrong way. They didn't hurry. Peel away the lies, and the truth would emerge, naked and ashamed and with nowhere else to hide.

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

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HALLO.

Verence drew himself up to his full height, or what would have been his full height if that part of him of which the word "height" could have been applied was not lying stiff on the floor and facing a future in which only the word "depth" could be appropriate.

"I am a king, mark you," he said.

WAS, YOUR MAJESTY.

"What?" Verence barked.

I SAID WAS. IT'S CALLED THE PAST TENSE. YOU'LL SOON GET USED TO IT.

The tall figure tapped its calcereous fingers on the scythe's handle. It was obviously upset about something.

If it came to that, Verence thought, so am I. But the various broad hints available in his present circumstances were breaking through even the mad brain stupidity that made up most of his character, and it was dawning on him that whatever kingdom he might currently be in, he wasn't king of it.

Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters

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And the sun toiled across the sky. Many people have wondered why. Some people think a giant dung beetle pushes it. As explanations go it lacks a certain technical edge, and has the added drawback that, as certain circumstances may reveal, it is possibly correct.

Terry Pratchett, Pyramids

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"What's happening?" said Lobsang, as the last of the monks surged past.

"I daresay we shall soon be told," said Lu-Tze, starting to roll himself a cigarette.

"Hadn't we better hurry? Everyone's going!" The sound of flapping sandals died away in the distance.

"Nothing seems to be on fire," said Lu-Tze calmly. "Besides, if we wait a little then by the time we get there everyone will have stopped shouting and perhaps they will be making some sense."

Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

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Windle realized that talking to Mr. Shoe was very much like talking to the Archchancellor. It didn't actually matter what you said, because he wasn't listening. Only in Mustrum Ridcully's case it was because he just wasn't bothering, while Reg Shoe was in fact supplying your side of the conversation somewhere inside his own head.

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

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There was a village tucked in a narrow valley between steep woods. It wasn't a large village, and wouldn't have shown up on a map of the mountains. It barely showed up on a map of the village.

It was, in fact, one of those places that exist merely so that people can have come from them. The universe is littered with them: hidden villages, windswept little towns under wide skies, isolated cabins on chilly mountains, whose only mark on history is to be the incredibly ordinary place where something extraordinary started to happen. Often there is no more than a little plaque to reveal that, against all gynecological probability, someone very famous was born halfway up a wall.

Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites