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Ok wtf

An image I’m very proud of, and the first thing I get is bot commission scams….

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im no expert but this is how it works to me i think

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Idk what to do abt my system. I wanted to get a diagnosis but my therapist told me I don’t really need one. Tried telling her that if I didn’t get any dissociative disorder diagnosis that I wouldn’t be able to defend myself from those who’d fake claim me.

She then asked me that since I am a diagnosed autistic, why was my option on someone self diagnosing with autism because they noticed similar symptoms, I responded “well they most likely have autism, sure there’s a chance it could be another neurodivergent condition with similar symptoms but if they believe it’s autism I’m not really gonna invalidate that”

And apparently she told me that that’s how I should start feeling about my own system.

So I think I might start talking about my plurality and accept the risk that is being a multi origin system in a community that doesn’t want me to exists

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I’m going to throw something….

Ah yes, my dad nearly disowned me for wanting to try edibles but now he’s just smoking in his room. What the fuck, what did I do wrong, fuck it, if I had the money I’ll spitefully try my first bong hit

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I have been afraid to talk about my own system from these paranoias, I actually share similar experiences. What I often call “the consequences of masking”, my first system happened when I was in middle school, I too stamped it out when my mom implied I needed to black out in order for it to be alters.

It wasn’t until I gained trauma induced agoraphobia, and meeting unconventional plurality folk did I realize that I was totally capable of having a system despite not having lived unspeakable horrors or blacking out. Honestly due to how introject heavy my system is I have been against being open about it publicly, also that I haven’t gotten diagnosed, my therapist believes it is some form of plurality though.

I should be more open about my alters, even the ones I’d get easily fake claimed for (two boys named Ego and Danny).

plurality is interesting because I've basically felt like I've had different "personalities" as a child raised under an abusive home, those personalities mirrored after TV shows I watched, thus creating "fictional friends" in my head to cope with what was happening.

as my mental health started getting worse during my teenage years, I questioned if I was plural but was turned away by someone when they told me I needed childhood trauma. uh. I did. I was suppressing it (I'm not gonna get into the plural logistics idc I'm telling my experience)

that's when my questioning got the better of me as I genuinely started to lose control over myself and develop different "personas" to help me cope, which were in fact my alters. it's something you don't notice until it gets worse

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a common symptom of autism is pathological demand avoidance, and it can be hard to talk about but here's my experience with it

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G-guys….. do I have OCD

loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

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My talents include:

- falling in love with everyone who’s nice to me

- jumping to conclusions

- pushing loved ones away

- AHHHHHHH™

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Ditto

go ahead and sexualize that man you feel a fatherly connection to. you deserve it

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psa

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i made this drawing a while ago and i forgot to post it oops,anyway have a lonely martin and a sketch

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I wish I could get rid on this decrepit body, I wish it didn’t take me so long to get pills. I wish I could be happier, I wish I wasn’t so sick. People don’t like you when you’re sick. They just move on to better people. They all move on, because no one stays for long. Once they find out how sick both physically and mentally I am they go on to someone better.

I wish I didn’t exist

I wish I was never born

Now that I’m here I can’t leave

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Unfinished vent I made today with Gym bee and Curly

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Everyone always told me, “he’s just being weird”. Took me so long to realized I was being sexually assulted

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Hey guys

Hot take but

SA survivors can have ravishment kinks! And attempting to use your own status as a survivor as means to guilt me caused a full PTSD meltdown, I DON’T HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT MY DAD ASSAULTING ME FOR NOTHING BBY!!!! Just because I like the fear aspect of it doesn’t mean I don’t know the very horror it is to experience it IRL. I don’t have enough baggage to get mad at littles with daddies because I dealt with covert incest but I guess some people still need to work out issues.

And I need to work on some similar issues as well