sydthekidd98

[sydthekidd98]

Ok - so deliberately being annoying is an excellent way to learn

Learning an instrument is harder than I remember it being...

As long as I'm having fun I guess.

[sydthekidd98]

I think it's weird that my cats like to hang out with me while I'm in the bathroom

Like... you have enhanced cat senses. You have to know what I'm doing.

Why is now of all times "VIP cuddle time"?

You don't find that weird??

Do I come to hang out with you while you're in the litter box???

You want me to stroke your back while you take a shit???

I can do that for you, since that's the energy we have in this relationship apparently???

[sydthekidd98]

Apple fans… omfg.

Get the fuck outta here with your bourgeoisie, bougie, blue-bubble bullSHEIT.

You're out here cyber-slurping a company that gaslit you into digital isolation and brand loyalty to a mid-tier product.

The only edge you had was that Apple could hide your texts - and now that feature’s been used in court? Yeah, that’s on borrowed time. No judge is gonna tolerate that more than twice.

Without that?

You’ve got an overpriced glass brick that taps out the second it slips off a couch.

You know what you call someone who keeps getting fucked sideways and actively keeps helping that happen?

A bottom.

You’re a BOTTOM FOR CAPITALISM.

[sydthekidd98]

Learning an instrument is harder than I remember it being...

As long as I'm having fun I guess.

[sydthekidd98]

She hasn't seen it yet. She hasn't seen it yet... it's very visible, and it's not the first massive hole, but I know she'll be just... tired when she sees it... I can fix it... I should fix it... I definitely shouldn't just keep my door closed...

How do I gaslight my mom into not being pissed at me?

I'm literally not joking, I was training with my chest guard and accidentally punched a back-sized hole in the wall...

I plan on fixing it, but she's already gonna be pissed at me because it's not the first hole...

...Shit.

[sydthekidd98]

I will not use it wisely, I will stab and become the god of death and destruction

I could make egg salad...

...I could make egg salsa...

This post is for ladies only. If you are a guy, GET out of here.

I bestow upon you this dagger. It is an ancient dagger. Use it wisely.

[sydthekidd98]

How do I gaslight my mom into not being pissed at me?

I'm literally not joking, I was training with my chest guard and accidentally punched a back-sized hole in the wall...

I plan on fixing it, but she's already gonna be pissed at me because it's not the first hole...

...Shit.

[sydthekidd98]

Death is ever present and therefore irrelevant.

Answer the damn question.

Moon shaped anomaly in the sky tonight

[sydthekidd98]

Came upstairs after a 12 hour gaming session, looked at my bed in the dark, and saw a prompt to "Press "E" to sleep"

Someone, please help

[sydthekidd98]

Ok... you see this cat?

She's figured out that she could press her paw at the bottom of my phone screen to interrupt whatever I'm doing and send it to the home screen.

She will then put her entire body in my face for impromptu cuddles...

yeah, I'm probably on my phone too much anyway...

love you, though.

This is her sister, BTW. Gotta love these girls.

[sydthekidd98]

I've started seeing my phone in my dreams, and it's the most surreal thing.

It's never on. Always a black mirror.

But I know it's my phone. If I turn it around I see the back of it.

But it moves weird.

Sometimes, it's floppy like a flat sausage

Sometimes it's rigid, and when it's rigid I always break it

Last night, I dreamt i dropped it in the pool, and it folded in on itself.

Not like a flip phone, where it folds forward, but its top half turned, so it looked like an upside-down L, then the bottom half folded in the same way.

I could rotate it back to normal, but it was weird to watch the black mirror of my cellphone twist into abstract shapes.

[sydthekidd98]

I just saw a wasp get stuck on the bus.

She spent a lot of time trying to get out the window, but she's a bug and couldn't see the glass, or the fact that I had opened the window so she could escape.

Eventually, she just sat crawling on the glass, smearing it with the "fuck you" pheromone...

I feel you, sis.

[sydthekidd98]

My phone has started to restart constantly and overheat. When it does this, it also can't get service.

I've discovered that if I slam it against something a few times, it'll start working normally again.

...this device is begging me to just let it die, and I keep beating it until it regains consciousness....

[sydthekidd98]

...whoever said working out is a good alternative to therapy is fucking stupid.

I am still angry, and now I'm more stressed because it takes significantly less effort to accidentally break shit.

[sydthekidd98]

Last night I got bored and broke a wooden box with my face.

That's as insane as it sounds, but it's not the point.

Last night, I found out that wood can snap in a way that leaves you deaf in one or both ears for a solid minute and 30 seconds

...good to know

[sydthekidd98]

Shout out to the time my summer college program got all the girls together to talk to us about bullying.

I personally am a loner and a firm believer in staying I my lane unless someone offended in a particular way, so I've never gone out of my way to bully anyone.

But all of these girls were crying and emotional, and I was happy, soaking up the bad vibes of the people around me.

Feeding on their misery like a fucking vibe vampire.

I started singing "happy together" by the turtles.

Like a fucking psychopath.

[sydthekidd98]

For all my non-americans

Truck nuts.

That is all.