#//this is a perf. first interaction!

[13uswntimagines]

All In My Head (Alessia Russo X Singer!r)

Part III of the Safe Harbor Universe. Find other parts here

Summary: Being Sick on tour sucks, but that doesn't mean that you want your team to inform your girlfriend. She has her own career to think about. The problem is that honesty is rule number 1 in your relationship.

Warnings: there is mention of a D/s dynamic, but nothing is super explicit. Alessia is referred to as daddy.

Authors note: Yes the ending is a cliffhanger. But this has honestly been in my drafts since like August, so i wanted to put it out. I'm considering a Pt. 2, but it will depend on if people want it. I really hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think.

You sighed heavily, leaning against the stadium's cool stone wall and twisting the bracelet around your wrist. 

Which stadium, you couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, really. They all looked the same after a while anyway, blurring together in the never-ending cycle of rehearsals, performances, interviews, and meet and greets. 

All your life seemed to be was performing and promoting music you weren’t even excited about anymore. It was a nonstop grind filled with late nights and early mornings, with almost no time for your well-being. 

You almost wished your girlfriend had implemented a rule that placed a limit on how much you could do. At least that would give you the power to say no. 

You did your best. 

You squeezed in as many phone calls with your girlfriend, Alessia as you could, but she had her own commitments with the Lionesses as they prepared to defend their European championship.

Most of the time you ended up passing out over FaceTime, and waking up to texts telling you she loved you. 

You understood. You both had careers and obligations. You both had to make sacrifices to get to do the things you loved. 

It was… intense, but for the most part, you enjoyed it. You loved playing for the fans. You would deal with all the promotional bs just so you could interact with the people who loved your music as much as possible. 

They deserved that. 

And this tour had been going far better than the ones you had been on before it. You were holding it all together far better than you had in the past. 

Or it had been. 

It all started with a slight tickle in your throat in the city before last. A whisper of huskiness that went away with a nice steam session and some tea. 

It was easy to ignore in the beginning. 

Then you played 4 shows back to back last weekend. 

By the end of the 3rd show, you knew you were screwed, you could barely muster a horse whisper. Alessia had commented that you sounded like a chain smoker, your first sign that she was seeing through you, but you assured her you would be fine. You even joked that you had enough throat coat and grether's pastilles to turn her off for a year. She let you soothe her worries. 

You pushed on, powered my menthol lozenges and Honey, and you made it through the 4th show. 

It would have been fine. It shouldn’t have mattered that your ability to make any sound at all was hanging on by a thread. The 5 days off you had should have been enough to set everything right.

Except you didn’t have 5 days off. 

It was filled with promotional performances for a new album and interviews about how well it would accompany the movie it was attached to. If someone else asked you about how it felt about the possibility of an Oscar nod, you were going to scream. Or rip all of your hair out or both.

The tickle had turned to hot nails, and nothing - not the steam machine or tea and honey - had the power to soothe it. 

You sounded like you were talking through gravel, and your team had been hesitant to even let you go on tonight. 

Alessia definitely would not have, if she knew how bad it really was. You started avoiding her two days ago after you couldn’t make it through a sentence without a crack, and you couldn’t continue to blame the low whistle that accompanied every one of your breaths on allergies. 

You knew going in that performing tonight wasn’t a great idea, but you refused to let the fans down. There were only 4 shows left. Surely you could make it. 

The entire show felt like a battle. 

You had to fight for every note. For every breath. 

Your lungs felt like they were on fire and your throat was raw before you even got to the piano set. 

It took everything in you to hide the thinness in your voice. To prevent every sound from cracking as you forced each lyric out. 

It was…rough to say the least. 

But you made it- even if it was only by the skin of your teeth. 

You were shot by the time you did your final bow and disappeared backstage. You ignored the cold Gatorade being pressed into your palms, knowing it would only aggravate the glass shards in your throat, and shrugged off Steven and Clint. 

You didn’t need their concern, you needed to escape the roaring in your ears. The pounding in your chest. 

So you took turn after turn until you were in an abandoned section of hallways. 

You sighed, grasping at your throat as you slid down the cool wall, pulling your knees to your chest and pressing your forehead into the rough material of your costume to drown out the pounding in your head. Your fingers tangled in the hair at the back of your head and you groaned. 

The sound felt like hot coals in your throat, and it made your chest ache. 

You feared that no amount of steam, or tea, or pastilles would stop it this time. 

The cold bricks of the stadium felt nice against your skin, leaching the heat from your body, though it did nothing to help the fire in your chest. 

A fire that was quickly moving past the gray areas in your agreement with Alessia, and into a place that your daddy would definitely have something to say about. 

You were treating your limits with her like a tightrope, carefully toeing the edge. Except with the way you felt, you knew you were about to topple one way or the other. 

You ignored the sounds of clicking shoes coming closer, hoping that whoever it was wouldn’t see you. That they would leave you be to pull the cracked pieces of yourself back together. 

But your team knew better than to leave you to your own devices.

“Y/n?”

You tensed at the soft hand on your shoulders, and the sound of shifting clothing as someone settled on the ground beside you. 

“You ok, kid?” Natasha asked softly, running soothing circles on the top of your shoulders. 

You let out another breath before you pulled your face from its hiding spot, resting your chin on your knees. “I’m ok. Just wanted some quiet,”

You frowned at the horse whisper that left your lips, and the flair of pain that accompanied it. 

Natasha hummed. 

She had been part of your team from the beginning, back when you were a dumb 16-year-old, long before Pepper, Tony, Steve and the rest of the crew had joined, and she knew you nearly as well as Alessia did. 

She raised an eyebrow at you. “Just some quiet?” 

You knew that wasn’t what she was actually asking. 

The question went much deeper. 

She knew about your… dynamic with Alessia, and she had seen the striker take care of you in various ways. She was asking you what you needed. 

You nodded, looking away from her, afraid that she would see through you. 

“I needed a minute,” You said, your voice barely a squeak. “It was all too much, and I wanted to be alone before I got pulled into something else,”

She made a low sound at the familiar explanation. “And this has nothing to do with how you sound like you’re gargling rocks?”

You grimaced. “Nothing at all,”

She hummed. “So you’re not in any pain at all?”

“Nope,” You breathed out, the p the only clear part of the word. 

“Y/n,” She sighed. “I know you have an… aversion to admitting when you’re not… at the top of your game, but pushing yourself isn’t going to help anything. You don’t have anything to prove here,”

You ran a hand through your hair and rolled your eyes dramatically at her. She chuckled at the action. 

“There are only 3 more shows,” You said. “I can make it 3 more shows,”

“And how would Alessia feel if she knew you were going to put your comfort aside for 3 more shows?” Natasha asked softly. “And not just your comfort, your health. You sound like shit,”

You huffed at the mention of your girlfriend, your fingers instinctively finding the braided bracelet that never left your wrist. 

You knew how she would feel. You could practically hear what she would say. I expect you to take care of the things that belong to me. I expect you to treat them with respect and give them the love and care they deserve. 

“I’ve got it all under control,” You rasped, wincing at the action. 

It was Natasha’s turn to roll her eyes. “Sure you do. Since you have it all under control, you’ll stop ignoring your girlfriend,” She pulled the device out of her back pocket and balanced it on top of your knees. “She’s been blowing up your phone all day. I think she’s worried,” 

You stared at the phone, and as if on cue, it buzzed again with a new message. 

Alessia was going to be furious with you, and your daddy would be on another level entirely. 

She was usually the one to take the reigns when you were set on driving yourself into oblivion for the benefit of everyone else. But she wasn’t here. 

You sighed heavily. 

You knew that if you told her, she would drop everything. She would move heaven and earth if that was what you needed. 

You didn’t want that. 

She needed to focus on her game, and that meant that you couldn’t be a distraction. You would not disappoint her. Not when you were so close to finishing. 

“She needs to focus,” You mumbled, your voice straining. “She’s gotta impress Sarina to make the team. It’s important,”

“I think you forget that you are also important,” Natasha argued back softly, patting your back before carefully pushing herself to her feet. “I’m going to have Pepper cancel the meet and greet. You’re in no shape to meet fans. I should also have her call a doctor, but I already know you’ll fight me on it,” 

You frowned. You never sold meet and greet tickets, choosing to instead have your team select fans at each show. 

“But-“ 

She held up her hand before you could argue. “That isn’t up for debate. Get rest tonight, and we’ll assess tomorrow in the morning.”

Your jaw clenched, but you nodded, knowing there was no arguing with her. 

“I know the world thinks you’re superhuman, but it’s ok not to be indestructible,” She said, softly. “You need to remember to be Clarke Kent sometimes too. There’s a reason Lois fell in love with him first,”

With that, she walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

The silence of the empty hallway wasn’t as welcoming as it had been. It didn’t quiet your thoughts like it had. 

Instead, it felt suffocating. Like the walls were closing in on you, trapping you in your misery. 

You sighed another painful breath, before you grabbed your phone, reading the top notification, longing not to feel so…alone. 

Hey babe, caught the end of your show on a random livestream. Are we still on for our FaceTime tonight?

You let your head fall back, thumping the wall. 

Everything in you longed to say yes.

But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. 

It was still nice to fantasize about seeing her. About hearing her say ‘Hello my little one,’ with a soft smile that brought out her dimples. If you closed your eyes you could almost feel the pressure of her fingers on the back of your neck, running through the baby hairs that lived there. ‘I’m here, and I’ve got you,’

You let your mind linger there for a long second before you forced your eyes back open. 

It took you three tries to type out your reply: sorry darling, I’m super tired. Rain check?

And you paused, your trembling finger over the send button, knowing you shouldn’t send it, but hitting the little blue arrow anyway. 

It was awful but necessary. 

You let out another long, ragged breath before you forced yourself to your feet and shoved your phone into your pocket, so you didn’t have to see her reply. You leaned heavily on the wall, no longer enjoying how it sucked the warmth from your skin, but using it to stay upright as the entire hallway tilted to the side. 

You should go back to your dressing room before Steve sent out a search party. Dealing with Nat was one thing, dealing with the overprotective instincts of Steve, Clint, and Thor was another. 

You didn’t have the mental capacity for that, and maybe your dressing room couldn’t make you feel like there was a rope on your lungs, dragging out your soul.

*****

You were not particular about a lot of things when you were on tour. You didn’t care about the size of your hotel room or the cars you were shuttled around in. You didn’t request overly expensive foods or special bubbly waters. 

The only thing on your rider that you were very specific about was your dressing room. 

It was your sanctuary away from the noise. A place you would spend more time in than your hotel room. 

It was important to you that it was always the same. Lit with twinkling fairy lights, the comfy gray couch that followed you on every tour stop standing near the table with your kettle and vocal steamer, and a diffuser already filling the room with the soft scent of lavender and honey. 

It filled your lungs the second you stepped through the door, wiping away the burning ache that accompanied every breath for just a second. Reminding you for one fleeting moment of the honeysuckle of Alessia’s favorite shampoo (the reason she picked the essential oil blend to begin with), before the knives returned to your chest. 

You rubbed your knuckles over your sternum to quell the feeling, stumbling over to the couch and collapsing into it. 

You pressed your nose into the soft gray material, wishing that you had grabbed the bright red sweatshirt you stole from your girlfriend when you last saw her. The smell of her perfume was beginning to fade, but it wasn’t gone yet, and there was a distinct longing in your stomach to be close to her. Even if you were the reason there was any space to begin with. 

You could hear your kettle bubbling next to you, and you knew you should make yourself some tea to soothe the sharp edges in your windpipe, but the thought of moving felt like too much. 

Instead, you sunk into the couch, your arm dangling off the cushion, your fingers brushing the ugly red carpet. 

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, and you didn’t have to look to know who was texting you. Still, the urge to see what she would say was too great for you to ignore it. 

It took all of your strength to move your heavy arm to your pocket and pull out your phone. Your fingers fumbled over the screen as you squinted at the device with the eye not pressed into the couch. 

The light made the throbbing in your head worse, and the words written on the screen made your lungs constrict.

Ok, my love. Are you sure everything is alright? This is the 3rd time this week.

You could almost hear the worry in her voice. See the suspicion in her blue eyes. 

They never failed to see through you. To strip away your exterior and leave you vulnerable and raw beneath them. It never made you feel exposed, even in the beginning when the two of you decided to extend your dynamic beyond your bedroom. Instead, you felt seen and safe. 

Sometimes she liked to have to work for your submission. She liked to peel away each layer of you one by one until you were a trembling mess beneath her. Open and vulnerable in a way no one else ever got to see you. 

Other times, you gave your submission willingly, stripping off your public persona like a dirty shirt and allowing her to envelop you in her warm comfort. 

How much you wanted that. How much you needed it. 

It was a desperation that filled your entire being. 

Before you could process what you were doing, you had already pressed her contact photo and brought the now-ringing phone to your ear. 

You laid the device on the side of your head and let your arm go back to dangling. It was too heavy to hold. 

It only rang twice before her voice filled your ears. 

“Hey my love,” She said, worry and relief mingling strangely in her tone. “I’m so happy you called me. How are you?”

Her voice washed over you like a soothing wave, like a balm on the sharp edges of your nerves, though it did little to help the fire in your lungs and throat. 

You pressed your nose into the couch, pretending that it was her shoulder for just a second. That the honey and lavender surrounding you was her perfume. That she was here. 

“Y/n, are you there?” She asked, and you opened your mouth to respond, but the words just wouldn’t come out. 

You couldn’t force any sound, beyond a low whistle past your inflamed throat. Your lungs crackled with each breath. 

Your inability to make sound didn’t bother you as much as it should have. 

“Y/n? Did you butt-dial me?” Alessia asked again, and you could almost feel her running her nails through your hair, gently scratching your scalp. “I’m worried,”

The words were said with too much force, not at all the soft murmur your brain had been waiting to hear. 

It shook you out of your haze just enough for you to reach up and grab your phone, clicking the decline button too fast. 

You let the phone drop to the floor with a low thump as it immediately began to ring again. 

Your fingers twitched above the screen, but you didn’t have the strength to reach for it, even as it lit up again with your girlfriend's contact photo. 

Well, it was a photo of the two of you. You were curled up in her lap, in one of her blue UNC sweatshirts that were too big, and she was kissing the side of your head. 

It had been taken after a particularly grueling day in the studio. It was Alessia’s turn to host team bonding night. You didn’t remember exactly who took the picture, Leah or Lotte, maybe, but it was one of your favorites.

What the camera didn’t catch was that your arms were not in the sleeves. Instead, they were tied with intricate knots behind your back, hidden by the sweatshirt. 

It was something the two of you often did, and it was one of her go-to's when you were starting to spiral out of control. 

A part of you longed for the feeling of the knots now, and her fingers twisting the soft rope against your skin. 

Sure, the weight of your bracelet was nice, but it wasn’t enough. 

You let out a wheezing breath that crackled and hurt. 

If you asked, she would be here. She would wrap you up and pull you from your free fall. 

It took you a long second to remember why you couldn’t have that. 

Alessia had a job to do, and you wouldn’t stand in the way of that. 

The phone buzzed again against the ugly carpet, the little voicemail icon flashing. You doubted you would be able to resist calling her back if you listened to it.  

Still, you had to do something. 

So you flicked the screen with one finger, going to your messages, and typing out words that felt fake, even to you. 

Sorry, I’m ok. Just tired. I’ll call you tomorrow after the game. Love you.

You clicked send before you could overthink it though, or your trembling fingers could betray you and type out the truth. You laid your head back down on the couch, curling into yourself as a painful cough forced its way past your lips. 

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, shivering before there was a soft knock at the door, and then the little click as it opened. 

A part of your brain hoped that it would be Alessia. That she had read your mind and somehow teleported to whatever city you were in. 

But the feeling of gentle fingers on the top of your shoulders told you that it wasn’t. 

“Y/n?” Natasha asked, very close to your ear, and you blinked up at her. 

You didn’t remember closing your eyes. 

“Hm?” You hummed, the sound raw and painful. 

“Let’s get you changed, and then we can go back to the hotel and you can sleep,” She said, placing a hand under your armpit and guiding you to a sitting position. 

The tiny movement had coughs ripping past your lips. 

She held you steady with one hand and grabbed you a change of clothes with the other. 

“Easy,” She breathed out, carefully unbuttoning your shirt and pulling it from your sweaty skin. 

She left you shirtless for a long second as she disappeared into your bathroom, and the cool air of the dressing room felt nice on your overheated skin. 

It didn’t bother you. Natasha had seen you in far less clothing than your sports bra and underwear. 

She returned only a moment later with a towel, using it to dry you off before she slipped a light blue t-shirt with a foot on the back over your head. 

The pants took a little more wiggling, but eventually, she was able to get you out of your costume and into a pair of sweats that were far too big for you.

She slid a pair of Converse onto your feet, scooping up your phone and tucking it into her pocket. 

“Let’s get you to the car,” She guided you to stand, keeping an arm wrapped tightly around you. 

“People?” You asked, leaning more of your weight onto her as she pulled you towards the door. 

You missed her eye roll. 

Of course, all you were worried about right now was who would see you, and what they would think. 

“Not here,” Natasha reassured you gently, opening the door. “Only when we get back to the hotel,”

You made a low, painful sound as she half-carried you into the hallway. 

You still had time before you had to pull yourself together. 

******

The city lights blurred into a distorted kaleidoscope of colors during the short ride back to the hotel. 

The cool glass felt nice against your temple, though it did little to ease the throb in your head or the lava in your throat. 

The feeling of eyes watching you for any wavering in your resolve also wouldn’t go away. You couldn’t be sure if it was worry (that you would puke all over the car or pass out), or concern about what the fans would think when you pulled up to the hotel. 

The whirring of the engine wasn’t loud enough to block out your racing thoughts, but any music was too much for you to handle. 

You were drowning. 

Every breath hurt, but you didn’t know if it was because of the physical pain or the anxiety gnawing at you. 

You didn’t like to upset people. You didn’t like to disappoint them. 

You were a people pleaser to a fault, and this wasn’t the first time you had self-destructed to meet everyone’s expectations. 

But at the end of the day, the person you wanted to please most. The person you wanted to not disappoint the most was Alessia. Was your Daddy. 

You knew you were failing, but you didn’t know how to stop.

The car came to a stop in front of the hotel far too quickly, and not for the first time, you were thankful that the dark tint kept you hidden from public view. 

“Ready, kid?” Steve asked, turning around in the driver's seat to look at you. 

You nodded once, reaching forward and grabbing the sunglasses facing the wrong way on his head, and pulled them over your own eyes. 

You took a deep breath before Clint opened your door, painting your signature smile across your features. 

You didn’t wave when you got out, too focused on keeping yourself upright, as Steve’sarm wrapped around you on one side and Natasha’s did the same on the other. 

You felt safe tucked between them, though they did nothing to shield you from shrill screams and cheers that met you as soon as your feet touched the ground. They amplified the pounding behind your eyes, and the way the crowd pressed around you made it even harder to breathe (not that you thought that was possible). 

You did try to flash the crowd smiles as Natasha and Steve guided you through, Clint protecting your back, and you were thankful your eyes were hidden, despite it being nighttime. 

You never wanted the fans to see the… fakeness. The lie.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when the hotel doors slid closed behind you, placing more of your weight on Steve as Natash called the elevator. 

“You’re burning up kid,” Steve murmured, shifting to get a better grip around your waist. 

You made a low sound, that turned into a full body caught that nearly had you doubling over. “Is that your way of calling me hot Stevie? What would Tony think?”

The words came out garbled, cracking with every syllable as you tried to talk through the coughs. 

Steve’s arm tightened around you to keep you upright. 

“I think he would say that you are sick,” Steve sighed at the mention of his husband, your publicist, taking more of your weight as another round of coughs wracked you. 

You pushed off of him as soon as you could breathe again, even if it felt like sucking air through a straw filled with needles, and swayed your way toward the elevator. 

It binged open as soon as you reached it, and you stumbled inside, gripping the metal bar on the back wall for support, and resting your forehead on the cool wall. 

You could feel the heat of your skin leaching into the surface, but it did little to quell the pounding in your ears or the feeling like everything was tipping on its head. 

Your fingers instinctively found the braided bracelet, running over the soft leather strands. 

However, this time, it didn’t ease the bubbling anxiety and fire in your chest. 

“We’re almost there, and then you can rest,” Natasha said softly, and you felt both her and Steve’s eyes on you as you leaned further into the wall. 

The movement of the elevator was starting to make you nauseous, but you didn’t think you could voice that even if you wanted to. Not with how raw your throat was. 

It took you a second to realize the elevator had stopped, and it wasn’t until Natasha gently touched your shoulder that you began to move again. 

You let Steve guide you out of the elevator and into the hallway. 

Natasha had the door to your suite open before you even got there, and Steve half-carried you to the bed, settling you on the fluffy white comforter. 

Your fingers tangled in the expensive sheets as you fought to keep yourself upright. 

“Do you want to take a shower?” Natasha asked you softly, kneeling in front of you and carefully undoing your sneakers. 

You shook your head slowly, smothering another cough. “Sweatshirt,”

The croaky word hurt as it left your lips, barely audible and surrounded by more lung-crunching coughs. 

But they understood, Steve, passing you a bright red sweatshirt from your bag. 

You brought it to your face and collapsed back onto the bed, breathing in the perfume that clung to the material. 

It burned as it filled your senses, but you could pretend that it soothed the edges of glass in your throat and lungs. You could pretend that it was her taking off your shoes and tucking you in. 

You could pretend that it was all ok and that she wasn’t going to be livid when she found out. Not that you were sick, but that you hadn’t told her immediately. 

You knew you would take whatever punishment she decided you deserved with no questions. She could be rather creative when she was annoyed with you. 

“Let’s get you settled properly,” Natasha said, shifting you on the bed so your head was on the pillows, as Steve moved the covers and tucked them around you. “Rest now, and we’ll deal with the rest in the morning,” 

You groaned, sending more flames down your airway, rolling over and pressing your face more firmly into the sweatshirt. 

You heard the distinctive sound of your phone being plugged in, and the click of the door. 

And then you were alone. 

More alone than you had been in a very long time. 

Even if it was all your own doing, you hadn’t been this disconnected since the beginning of Alessia’s college career, and your first tour with Taylor. The infamous break in your relationship. Even though neither of you had actually experimented with anyone else, and you had texted and called nonstop, you had been hesitant to push too far, to ask for too much. 

You blew out a long breath into her sweatshirt, ignoring the little needles that followed the air, eyes fixed on the phone on your bedside. 

It buzzed again as if it knew you were thinking about it. 

You reached your hand out, pulling it close so you could look at it, but it was still plugged in. 

The movement had the screen lighting up with a string of messages. The one at the top made your heart hurt.

Please don’t ignore me, my Little One. I’m worried.

It said, and you could almost hear the inflection in her tone. You could almost see her eyes softening, and feel her fingers brushing your hair behind your ear. 

You closed your eyes, pressing more deeply into the sweatshirt under your head. 

Your fantasy world was far nicer than the reality you were in, and the universe wouldn’t end if you stayed in it until morning. 

********

Your night was… hazy, filled with half-dreams that were increasingly difficult to distinguish from real life. As the morning light crept its way further and further across the ceiling, you leaned into the sweatshirt slowly losing its smell, one eye peeking out to track its progress. 

It felt like a timer. A countdown clock on the imagined feelings of soothing hands on your back and whispered reassurance that everything would be okay. 

Soon enough the door would open and you would have to be you again. You would have to pretend like each breath you took didn’t feel like a bear was mauling your lungs, and your brain wasn’t a freight train threatening to escape from your skull. 

You would have to deal with the incessant buzzing of your phone that had kept you on the edge of real sleep all night. 

You would have to face your girlfriend. Your daddy. 

You were not looking forward to it. Any of it. 

The only thing that you were semi-excited about was watching your girlfriend play, even through a screen. That had been your only saving grace back when she was in college before the two of you got back together, and you knew it would be your only saving grace now. 

You sighed, rolling over, the sweatshirt falling from its bunched-up place against your cheek, and reaching for the phone still on the corner of the bed next to you. 

It buzzed again as your fingers caught it, and brought it closer so you could see the screen. It was filled with notifications. 

Some were from the group thread you shared with your manager, assistant, and publicist. Some were emails from people you were collaborating with. 

But the majority were from Alessia. 

You couldn’t help but click on the thread. 

You knew it was a mistake immediately. 

Good morning little one. I’ll have some time if you want to FaceTime before the game. I miss you, and I’m worried. You don’t usually ignore me.

It was like an arrow straight through your heart. 

A direct hit to your will. 

You swallowed hard, ignoring how badly it burned, and typed out a message. 

I miss you too. Good luck today. You’re going to do amazing

You dropped your phone after you hit send, deciding that finding the starting 11 wasn’t important anymore, and stared up at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes, pulling the comforter more tightly around you despite the sweat breaking out across your chest. 

You thought it would help the hollow feeling slowly taking over your insides, or the dull throb that accompanied each breath. 

It did not. 

You let your eyes slide back closed, deciding that the light hadn’t transversed far enough across the ceiling for you to need to be awake yet. Not when the pull of sleep was so strong, and the comfort of your half dreams was too difficult to resist. 

“You know I don't like it when you hide from me,” Alessia’s voice said sternly, as though it was right next to your ear, and you felt fingertips graze your lips. 

You didn’t open your eyes. Even amongst the haze that was filling every crack in your brain, you knew she wasn't here. She couldn’t be here. Not when she was back in London about to play some team you couldn’t remember. 

“I know,” You rasped out.  

The fingers gently pulled at your bottom lip before they circled back towards your cheek, and a thumb brushed across your closed eyelid. 

“And you’re still doing it?” She asked, and you felt the air of each word on your ear. 

You shook your head, turning it slightly, hoping to feel her nose bump hers. “You need to focus on the important things,” 

You didn’t come into contact with her, though you knew you should have with the way you shifted. 

“And you are not important to me?” She asked her voice hardening in the way it only did when you were about to receive a punishment. 

An involuntary shiver ran down your spine, and your eyes opened automatically. 

You sucked in a painful breath, blinking blearily at the face above you.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Natasha said quietly, even as your eyes darted around, searching for your girlfriend. “It’s 1, so you need to wake up so we can make a decision about tonight,” 

“Less?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper when you saw that Natasha was the only other person in the room with you. 

Natasha frowned, brushing your hair away from your forehead. “She’s in London, remember? The game against Luxembourg starts soon,” 

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together. You hadn’t remembered that they were playing Luxembourg. 

“She’s starting?” 

“No,” Natasha shook her head. “It’s mostly the young ones starting since the over-under is plus 20 for England,”

Your nose scrunched, and you forced yourself to sit up. “She has to play,”

None of this would be worth it if she never touched the field. 

“I think Serina is using this as more of an identification camp,” Natasha countered, stepping in to help you sit up. “The girls need rest after doing both the Champions League and regular play these last couple of weeks,”

You grunted though it sounded more like a pained wheeze than a grunt. 

Alessia’s schedule had been nearly as insane as your own for the past few months. It was part of the reason you were so… reluctant to bother her with something as trivial as a tickle in your throat. 

“Maybe you should take a page out of her book,” Natasha added. 

Your nostrils flared immediately at the implication. 

Your job was so much less physical than Alessia’s. You didn’t do anything to deserve rest like she did. 

The pressure you both face to perform was inherently different.

She didn’t let down millions of people every time she rode the bench. She wouldn’t crush the dreams of thousands of people if she didn’t take the pitch. 

But still, you could already hear her argument ringing in your head. 

I expect you to care for the things that belong to me as deeply and completely as I do. That includes yourself. Your needs matter, and I will not allow you to disregard them.

“No.” You rasped, none of the bite you meant appearing in the word. 

“Yes,” Natasha countered, shifting the pillows behind you before you leaned back. “There is no way you can perform tonight,”

You huffed, and crossed your arms, glaring at the city beyond the large window to the right of the bed. “People paid-“

“To hear you sing. Not hack your way through a set,” Natasha cut you off. “They’ll be more disappointed if you give them a show that’s not your best. Reschedule the last 3, so they’re worth what they paid,”

Your glare only deepened, and your eyebrows pulled very tightly together as you processed what she was saying (taking a few extra minutes to cut through the thick fog in your brain). 

You knew she was playing on your sensibility. You thought ticket prices were disgusting, and had fought to lower them as much as you could. You had made your show longer in retaliation, so the fans got what they paid for. 

You wouldn’t give them a sub-par show. 

You didn’t look at her but nodded once. 

“I’ll have Tony write a statement. Do you want to approve it before it goes out?” She asked, her voice gentle. 

You shook your head, your lips pursing. 

“We’ll release it then, and I’ll call a doctor so we can get you some real medication,” The redhead continued, ignoring the deep frown pulling at your features. 

It wasn’t that you were trying to be difficult. You just knew what would happen the second the people staked outside of your hotel caught sight of a doctor. 

But now you felt like you didn’t have a choice, and not in the fun way.

“Fine,” You muttered, a hacking cough following it. 

Natasha patted your back until the coughing stopped, and you relaxed back against the pillows. “I’ll take care of everything. I’ll have food sent up, you just watch the game and try to get more sleep before the doctor gets here,”

You huffed but didn’t protest as she tucked the blanket tighter around your torso. 

“I know you’re unhappy with all of this, but it is what it is, and we need to look after your health too,” She sighed, turning and bustling around the room, flipping on the television to the game and grabbing a mug you hadn't noticed from the dresser by the door. “Drink that, and I’ll be back in a bit,”

You didn’t respond as she placed the mug on the table beside you, and disappeared through the hotel room door with a soft click. 

You wanted to groan. To yell. To throw the mug across the room, but you knew it wouldn’t help. 

The other part of you wanted your guitar, not that you were sure your fingers were strong enough right now to actually play.  

You closed your eyes, tilting your head back on the pillows. 

It wasn’t long before you felt fingers in your hair, though you hadn’t heard the door open again. 

You instantly knew who it was, though her perfume was suspiciously missing. 

“You look like you got hit by a bus,” She murmured, her breath brushing across your nose. 

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting her blue, except it was two shades darker than you remembered, the same shade as the old UNC jersey she was wearing. 

“I’m fine,” You croaked, the sound pulling a hacking cough from your lungs that burned as it left you. 

“Ah yes, because you sound just fine,” She huffed, her nails scratching lazily at your scalp. “You don’t need to hide from me,”

You blinked slowly, and her form shimmered slightly beside you. “‘M not. ‘M right here,”

“Rule one is honesty for a reason,” She countered, her hand pausing. “You’ve not abided by that.”

You swallowed around the glass in your throat at the confirmation of what you already knew, and your eyes closed again as the heavy weight of it settled on your mind. 

You had broken the most sacred rule and you were in trouble. It wouldn’t just be a punishment you would have to take. It would be regaining her trust that would take the longest time. 

It was a fragile thing, and you had shattered it. 

You forced your eyes open again, determined to say something- anything- that would make it better, except when you did, she was gone. 

You blinked heavily at the empty bed beside you. The space she had been seconds ago. 

You wanted to shake your head, but with the freight train pounding in your skull, you knew that was a terrible idea. 

“This is a very different starting eleven for England, but it’s what we expected. The only change of note is that Alessia Russo is unavailable for this game.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed at the television, flashing the starting lineup for the game. 

Natasha said Alessia wasn’t starting, but you expected her to at least be on the bench. 

You closed your eyes and let your head fall back. 

What was the point of suffering alone if Alessia wasn’t even going to play?

You weren’t sure anymore.

******

“I’ve got her,” 

You stirred at the familiar voice, and the feeling of gentle fingers running through your hair and the bed shifting next to you. The scent of lavender and honey wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, pulling you closer to consciousness. 

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together before your eyes flickered open, meeting the familiar blue of your girlfriend. 

“Hey there,” She said softly, her thumb smoothing out the crease between your eyebrows. “How are you feeling?”

You opened your mouth, but nothing but a low hacking cough came out. 

“Easy, little one,” Alessia shushed you softly. “Just relax. I’m here, and I’ll take care of you now, ok?”

It was painful how real she felt. Painful how much you wanted to believe she was here with you. 

“Trouble,” You mumbled, coughing violently afterward, unable to stop yourself from leaning into her hand. 

“I think we should make it your middle name since you seem to find it so often,” She murmured, running her hand again through your hair. “But no. You’re not in trouble. Not right now,”

You made a low, wheezing sound, shaking your head, despite the waves of nausea it sent to your stomach. “Real daddy disagrees,” 

She frowned. “Real daddy?”

You swallowed hard, forcing words past your stolen vocal cords. “Not here. In Luxembourg. Won’t fool me again,” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She said, her nails dragging against your scalp in the way she knew you loved. “Natasha called me last night, and I got on the flight as soon as I could,”

It took a few extra seconds for her words to filter through the unpleasant haze in your brain. Even then, they didn’t make sense. 

Hell, her entire demeanor, including the softness in her features as she looked at you, didn’t make sense. 

You explicitly told Natasha not to call her, and you couldn’t process her going against that request. Not when Alessia had a game to play. 

“My brain is making you up,” You wheezed after another long second. 

She breathed out a half chuckle. “While your brain is brilliant, I wasn’t conjured by it,” 

You made a low, husky sound that could only be incredulity. 

Her thumb again smoothed the space between your eyebrows. “What will it take for you to believe you’re awake?”

You blinked heavily at her, your shoulders lifting and falling. 

She shook her head. “You’re too much,”

“No,” You mumbled, the crease between your eyebrows pushing against her finger. “‘M a good girl,”

“Yes. You are always my good girl, even when you’re being a stubborn pain in the ass,” She agreed fondly, leaning down to press a kiss to your too-warm forehead. “Sleep. I’ll be here where you wake up, and maybe you’ll actually believe you’re not dreaming,”

“Promise?” you asked. Sounding small, as exhaustion pulled at you. 

She hummed. “I promise,”

Her fingers kept their soft rhythm in your hair as your eyes fluttered closed, and you shifted to press your nose into her shoulder, breathing in her perfume with each rattling intake from your lungs. It surrounded you, soothing the burning in your chest, and soothing the sharp edges in your throat. 

For the first time since the lingering tickle started, you actually felt at peace. You felt calm enough to let yourself truly relax. 

It would suck when you woke up and Alessia was gone, but doing anything other than allowing your mind to linger in this delusion felt unbearable. 

Instead, you allowed yourself to sink into the overwhelming pull of exhaustion. 

And you swore you heard an “always,” before sleep pulled you under. 

Even if this alessia didn’t turn out to be real, you trusted her. And as angry as you wanted to be at Natasha and Steve for calling her, you knew she was exactly what you needed. 

She always would be, even if she was just made up in your mind. 

[soficraft]

I think the next season of the life series is gonna be named "Opposite life" where you have to make the opposite of what you would normally do.

The finalist would be Jimmy, Lizzy, Mumbo and Skizz. (Tango, Budbs and Etho were almost there, but they kill each other beacuse of course they didn't team up)

Bigb would be so normal.

Grian and Scar would never interact.

Scar would play it safe, no tradings involved. No sellings, no betrayals. He would be an angel.

Scott would be the first one out. He betrayed everyone. Even his no-allies.

Marty would be honest and loyal (not to rendog do). He would be mostly alone, but fighting for the well-being of everyone.

Pearl would have lots of cats or no animal at all. She would be like the therapist of the server.

There would be no Gs (or any variation of it)

Bdubs would kill every horse he sees. He would tame pigs and do races where the slowest one wins. He also would be the one to take Etho's last life.

Tango would actually kill people with redstone traps.

Impulse has a garden or something. He has cows and sheep, too. He has an army of axolotls, for what? Idk. A plan? NOoooOOo he is just chilling.

Grian would be happy alone or with company. Doesn't feel the need to "serve" to anyone. Is the first one to die of his teammates.

Cleo would make the nicest comments to everyone (no sarcasm)

Gem... Gem would build something horrible. She won't think when is caos, she would just act. She would also burn everything. (She would die 3th or 2nd)

Joel would be green for the entire season, only would be yellow and red on his last episode. (Would also team with Scott, but he betrayes him, so he kills him. HE KILLS HIM)

Ren would be just a normal person. No roel play, no dramatic voices. He would just do what he has to do. (He kills Martyn)

Etho would be dedicated to building cute bases and being loyal to his teammates. He would only have one team and it wouldn't be with Tango, Skizz or Bdubs.

Lizzi would hate bad boys and red names.

Skizz would be so good at the game that he would be chilling.

Mimbo would love Etho's suscribers and would be so cool around Etho. He also is the best at killing with lava.

And Jimmy... well...

And the final battle would be something like...

Lizzi team up with Mumbo, Skizz is alone, and Jimmy just lost his teammate Etho at the hands of Bdubd, who was then killed by Tango with an epic trap Jimmy, for some reason, hates Tango, so he kills him.

Now, alone, he decided to play it smart and safe, but it's night, so he kills an ederman cause he can, and prepars with everything he needs to fight.

He is smart, so he goes to the high ground and scouts the area. After a while, he sees them, Mumbo and Lizzi, clearly looking for him.

He watches when Skizz runs into Lizzi and Mumbo, and the battle begins. Is epic. All of them masters of the sword, the bow, and the wherever other weapon is on minecraft.

Mumbo seems to be winning. He is so good at killing that it is a shock he hasn't ended Skizz yet.

But plot twist. Lizzi betrays Mumbo, using her redstone knowledge to pull a trap in seconds, which mumbo is incapable of understanding. And Mumbo is gone.

He is a genius, so he understands what is happening down there, Lizzi and Skizz are teaming up against him, knowing that he is the big boss and alone they can't defeat him.

They start walking, searching for him, and he knows it is time.

He does what he has to do and shoots an arrow to Lizzi. With his perfect aim, he gets her, but that doesn't kill her. Lizzi is on full diamond armor, with the best enchantments cause all season she had been stealing the enchanter.

Now they know where he is, so he quickly runs away, ender palearl ready in case of emergency.

He goes to his base, where he builded an epic redstone trap just for this moment.

He watch them get closer to his tower, and he sees as Skizz aims at him, but he is quick and crouchs, or moves, idk, but he avoids the arrow.

He looks one more time.

Perfect. They are at the perfect place.

He talks to them as a distraction, and of course, he isn't mute, he checked first cause he is smart.

As they talk, Jimmy slowly walks closer to the edg, and BOOM!

A minecart with dynamite falls onto them, but to his surprise, Skizz notices, and only Lizzy gets boom by it. She is gonne.

It doesn't take much for Jimmy to compose himself and quickly takes his sword out. In one hand his sword, and on the other, his bow.

Skizz is quick and agile. In a secnd he is in front of Jimmy.

Is no surprise that Jimmy reacts quickly and shots an arrow direct to Skizz's head. And when Skizz is about to hit him with his full enchanted diamond sword, Jimmy enderpearls outside of his base, just beside a button, which he press.

He says a really cool frase, and then all it can be heard are the explosions of tnt. His trap has work.

Skizz blew up

He won.

______________

I'm sorry for this. I really am. I slept like, an hour? I'm not sure. My head hurts. My face hurts and my brain is still loading. But i had this revelation and needed to share it. Hope you understand.

I don't intend to offend anyone with this post. Is just me exaggerating the bad things. All of the lifers or wherever the name is, are amaizing and cool, and we all know each of them lack at something but that's just part of being human.

We love them.

[angclnumber]

"... HI ." HAVEN REPEATS AS HER SMILE GROWS, sighing almost dreamily as she wraps her arms around jack's neck . "i love reading you . it's like ... my favourite thing ." she nuzzles jack's cheek as she speaks, only pausing when her hands come to her temples . her smile only widens with that kiss and she kisses jack softly back before gasping, "oh ! if you're pink and i'm red i feel like that's like, a really good sign cause like ... those are the colours of love . and valentine's day ." haven's eyes are wide, the green of them only a thin ring outside of her pupils . " and the best starbursts ." haven is shaking her head in disbelief, at least until the action seems to make the pink around jack get all wobbly and weird . haven brings both hands to jack's face to keep the world from spinning too much, holding it tenderly . "jack, i think we're meant to be . i think this is fate ."

jack grinned as haven pressed their foreheads together, dilated pupils honing in on the other's long eyelashes. were haven's eyelashes always that long? "hi." she echoed, smile still tugging at jack's lips. she nodded like she understood. "people always tell me i have a super sick pink aura." there was a teasing edge to jack's voice as she spoke. "i love you and your ability to read me so well. your aura is telling me..." she paused, digits tangling in haven's locks as she pressed her palms to the other's temples. "i'm thinking red. am i on the right track?" jack placed a short, gentle kiss to haven's lips. "tell me i'm on the right track."

[agentnico]

Sinners (2025) review

Bet Marvel wishes they could make a post credits scene like this!

Plot: Trying to leave their troubled lives behind, twin brothers return to their Mississippi hometown to start again, only to discover that an even greater evil is waiting to welcome them back.

When it comes to the horror genre, primarily we are looking for one thing - solid scares (and a splash of gore for good measure). An aspect that you won’t usually find is multi-layered character work, as at the end of the day most of the cast are there simply to serve the purpose of being killed off in some gruesome messed up fashion. Which is totally fine; I am not here to complain or bad-mouth fun B-movie horror flicks - I’ve always got time for those. However Sinners, the new horror/adventure/thriller from director Ryan Coogler (Creed, Black Panther), is here to very much change up that stigma. There is genuine character development, where I found myself fully invested in the story and personal dynamics, that I completely forgot this was a vampire movie until they do show up half way through, and that’s when the movie goes really mad crazy. As much as I loved the suspenseful and gory second half, I really did appreciate the slow burn first half, as it made the character demises later on much more meaningful. It is too a reflection of how personal and meaningful this film must be to Ryan Coogler, with the 1930s Mississippi setting and the underlining themes of inequality and racism haunting throughout, but in turn also the visual aspect.

In a recently released video from Kodak on YouTube, Ryan discusses the visual language behind Sinners. The movie not only continues Hollywood’s recent return to celluloid, seen recently in The Brutalist, but also pushes the boundaries of what’s possible with analog formats and aspect ratios. By combining two different large film formats (Ultra Panavision 70 and IMAX 15-perf), Coogler can draw viewers deeper into the story – literally. The choice to switch aspect ratios during the film facilitates dynamic changes in how scenes are experienced, especially in IMAX theaters, where the screen size and shape fully showcase the transitions. The result is a heightened sense of immersion, a quality that Coogler intentionally pursued for a genre as visceral as horror. Not to throw around this overused online term, but “this is CINEMA” comes to mind when considering the passion and heart that Coogler is dedicating to this medium, and it’s evident on what you see when you go and watch Sinners.

Music needs to be mentioned too, as it plays an integral part in driving the core of what Sinners strives to be. The soundtrack is filled with southern blues songs, and it was a pure joy to really lose myself in the feels and motions of the score and singing, and there is a particular sequence about half way into the film that can be referred to as Coogler’s ‘magnum opus’ moment, as essentially it reflects upon the history of black music, and the one way to describe it is rad. The movie also holds its own self aware level of humour, as the evil vampires are Irish and as such they play, sing and dance to some very famous Irish folk songs, which resulted in a few amusing and entertaining renditions of the likes of “Rocky Road to Dublin” and “Will Ye Go, Lassie, Go?”. Safe to say, I’m planning on picking up the Sinners soundtrack album vinyl record as soon as either Mondo, Waxwork or Made by Mutant inevitably announce it.

Michael B. Jordan plays two distinct characters in the film - and not in a gimmicky or disconnected way. These characters interact constantly - they're twins - which makes for a serious acting challenge. Jordan rises to the occasion, and the visual effects team behind the scenes pulls it off beautifully, with impressive execution on every technical level. Visually, the film is nothing short of stunning. Alongside Jordan, musician Miles Caton gives a remarkably strong performance in the second lead role. I was genuinely surprised to learn this was his first-ever acting role. What surprised me even more was the chap’s vocals, as you wouldn’t expect such a deep voice to come out of such a young lad. Hailee Steinfeld is radiating and dazzling, and Wunmi Mosaku provides emotional depth and gravitas. Jack O’Connell, as it turns out, has some serious Irish dancing skills which should not be left unmentioned, and Delroy Lindo pretty much stole the show anytime he was on-screen.

Sinners does not reinvent the vampire genre, as the story itself is pretty straightforward (reminiscent of From Dusk Till Dawn), yet it is the execution that makes it stand out. It's one of the best films I’ve seen in recent memory: energetic, gripping, occasionally funny, with a sharp script, top-tier directing, brilliant performances, and musical ingenuity that stuns scene after scene. It has all the makings of a strong contender for film of the year. Make sure to stay throughout the credits as there is a phenomenal 5-10 min sequence during them that is one of the best scenes of the whole film, as well as a fun musical moment at the end of the credits too. You’re welcome.

Overall score: 8/10

[autoantonyms]

Käärijä Cologne Gig Review

Starting off strong with me not sleeping enough. I literally went to bed at 10 pm, but couldn’t sleep until around 1:15 am and I had to get up at 4 am so- yea. 💀

But my dear friend Jenny and I were determined to get barricade so we just did what we had to do. We arrived at around 7 am at the venue and there were thankfully not many people there already.

Then the queuing began. I was so happy to see some of my mutuals again and got to spend so much amazing time with them! I also met so many new people in the queue and thats really one of my favorite things about these fandoms. 🫶🏻😭

At around 11 am Jere just showed up. All of us were like, aware that the tour bus was nearby but i don’t think anyone really cared or actively kept an eye on it. So I guess he just decided to see what we‘ve been up to???

Most of you will probably have already seen some pics (but I have to say it again) he decided to see us.. without any pants on. He was just standing there 🧍🏻‍♂️ greeting us, in this ugly sweater and he took his time to talk to us and take pics with us etc.

Also: I‘m pretty sure everyone who was there and knows me is already tired of hearing it BUT i was just like: „hey do you wanna sit with us?“ and he did. And then the whole Santa thing happened and I‘m still like „?????????? How did ANY of that happen???“ What possessed me to be like that. Anyway, as a friend of mine pointed out, I made him laugh so I will take this accomplishment and make this my new Roman Empire. I am so sorry for everyone who has to hear this story again and again and again🫣

We were also lucky enough to get an opportunity to hear some of the new songs. Because he came back to us a second time and played them for us on his own speaker (it’s battery was fighting for its life lol). And this was honestly the most wholesome thing ever. We were all just standing around him, listening to those songs and some of the others were asking him questions and he was just chatting with us about the album and the songs. He also asked us to not film any of it and I believe all of us just put our phones in front of him on the floor to show him that he can trust us. And he honestly looked so touched by that?!😭 He then asked us if we could film a tiktok with him for Häärijä‘s song and we did 💀

After that we went back to normal queuing and with the progression of the day more people showed up (i mean, that’s how it works haha).

My friend and I did make it to barricade and really had the time of our lives. It was my second time seeing him (last time in Berlin in 2023) and I honestly think both of these concerts are on my top 3 list. I was kinda disappointed that Rock Rock isn’t on the setlist anymore since it is one of my favs but having HHH, Trafik! and Ruoska is already so amazing that I can get over it (still missing my baby tho).

His whole interaction with Anna was so sweet. She was right in front of him and she also had to open his bottle for him and he just made her so happy, it was all so sweet omg.

We were dying of heat tho. It was so fucking hot and all of us were sweating like crazy. Some people in the middle of the crowd got him to splash water onto them and me and @peri-peri-sauce were also trying to get at least some drops onto us but he was just like „no, enough“😭 The security guy then gave us some bottles! He eventually did splash us as well but it literally evaporated 5 seconds later cause it was so fucking hot 🥲

Honorable mentions: the whip during Ruoska??? Sir?? Sir?? Weird way to propose but YES!; him laying on the floor before Cha Cha Cha and us chanting his name while he‘s fingering the air encouraging us to keep going; and hearing Trafik! live for the first time (this song is so good omg); Jenny and I during ICIP (we went crazy); me giving him my „Cologne“ sticker at the last possible moment, him looking at it and kissing it 🥹

All in all, that was such an incredible day. The queuing and the concert were literally perfect and i had so much fun! Nothing could ever beat this day I fear. I am still so overwhelmed by everything that happened and I am so grateful that I could have been there and experience all of it.

Sending love to everyone I met because all of you were amazing! 🫶🏻

[floripire]

"oh come on, the scream franchise is an absolute classic! you can't go wrong with a good slasher, kes!"

open starter;; verse undecided

"where'd you get that line? out of an old horror movie?"

[vkncgzxf]

💜 HOW BTS MEMBERS MET THEIR WIVES

⸻

1. RM (Kim Namjoon) & Seo Hana — “The Museum of Quiet Things”

Where: A Korean Modern Art Museum in Seoul

When: 2022

Vibe: Intellectual, slow-burn, tender

Namjoon was attending a private panel on “The Philosophy of Language in Modern Poetry.” He hadn’t planned to speak — just to listen. Then Hana stepped up to present her paper: “What Trees Teach Us About Silence.”

Her voice was calm but powerful. She spoke not to impress, but to express. Namjoon was hooked — not just by her words, but by the way she tucked her hair behind her ear when quoting Emily Dickinson.

They ended up discussing Rilke and Yeats over tea at the museum café. She had no idea he was that Namjoon — she thought he was a literature grad student. He never corrected her.

Key Moment: She handed him a poem she had written called “Rooted Things.” It had a line: “The wind only speaks to those who are still.” Namjoon felt like it had been written for him.

⸻

2. Jin (Kim Seokjin) & Park Minji — “A Kitchen in Chaos”

Where: On set of her TV show, “Chef’s Playground”

When: 2020

Vibe: Comedy, instant chemistry, opposites attract

Jin was invited as a guest on Minji’s cooking show. It was supposed to be a lighthearted appearance — cook a dish, make a few jokes, smile for the camera. Instead, he accidentally set a napkin on fire trying to flambé bananas.

Minji burst out laughing and said, “This is the most chaos I’ve seen in my kitchen — and I love it.” She wasn’t flustered, she was amused.

Later, when the cameras were off, she taught him how to chop onions correctly. He said, “You know, I’m crying, but not from the onions.”

Key Moment: On their third meeting, she cooked him kimchi jjigae from his childhood recipe. He said it tasted like home — and she smiled, saying she’d already read every interview where he mentioned it.

⸻

3. SUGA (Min Yoongi) & Lee Haeun — “A Song Without Lyrics”

Where: A music studio in Gangnam

When: 2022

Vibe: Quiet magnetism, mutual respect, slow-build intimacy

Haeun was a respected sound engineer working on an indie film soundtrack. Yoongi was asked to produce a piece. He was used to people fawning over him — Haeun, instead, barely spoke. She adjusted levels and simply said, “Too much treble.”

He respected that. They worked for weeks in the same studio, exchanging few words, but sharing headphones, glances, and silence.

One night, the power went out. While waiting, they sat in the dark studio, lit by backup lights. Haeun said, “Silence has sound. You just have to stop needing to fill it.”

Key Moment: She played him a piano melody she’d written when her father passed. Yoongi added strings to it the next day — without asking. She cried, and that was the beginning.

⸻

4. J-Hope (Jung Hoseok) & Choi Areum — “Two Steps Behind the Beat”

Where: Dance rehearsal for an award show

When: 2022

Vibe: Playful, competitive, sparks flying

Areum was a lead choreographer for a high-profile K-pop collaboration. Hoseok was brought in as a surprise cameo. They clashed immediately — she was a perfectionist, he was more fluid.

He’d purposely “miss” moves just so she’d walk over and adjust his shoulders, frown, and say, “Focus.”

The night before the show, they ended up rehearsing until 3am. After the final run-through, Areum sighed and said, “You’re exhausting, but you make the floor feel alive.”

Key Moment: After the performance, Hoseok texted her: “You’re the beat I didn’t know I needed to hit.”

⸻

5. Jimin & Kang Mira — “Stitch by Stitch”

Where: Paris Fashion Week

When: 2021

Vibe: Slow seduction, emotional intimacy, elegance

Jimin was modeling for a luxury brand. Mira was one of the head designers. Their first interaction was over a hemline — she reached down to pin it and said, “You have the frame of a dancer, not a model. That’s more interesting.”

Over fittings and sketches, they exchanged thoughts on beauty, identity, and pressure. Mira had studied dance as a teen, and Jimin understood her pain of giving it up.

She saw him not as a performer, but as someone fragile, passionate, and trying to stay whole.

Key Moment: She showed him her first-ever design — a jacket inspired by the hanbok her grandmother used to wear. Jimin asked if he could wear it onstage. He did.

⸻

6. V (Kim Taehyung) & Yoon Sol — “The Girl Who Sang at Midnight”

Where: A jazz bar in Brooklyn, New York

When: 2020

Vibe: Moody, vintage, fated

Taehyung wandered into the bar by accident. It was cold outside. Inside, Sol was singing “Someone to Watch Over Me” — just her and a jazz guitarist. Her voice had that raw, smoky edge that hit deep.

She spotted him sitting in the shadows. After her set, he approached her and said, “You sing like you remember every heartbreak.”

She laughed and replied, “Only the good ones.”

They spent the next four nights talking until dawn — about Nina Simone, Paris in the 60s, childhood, and love. She didn’t ask about BTS until the fifth night.

Key Moment: She sent him a vinyl of her demo album. He mailed her back a photograph — of his first Polaroid in Paris. She moved there a year later.

⸻

7. Jungkook & Im Yuna — “The Ink Between Us”

Where: Her tattoo studio in Hongdae

When: 2022

Vibe: Raw, passionate, creative collision

Jungkook had seen her art on Instagram — a mix of realism, watercolor, and Korean myth. He walked in unannounced and asked for a lyric from his old song “Euphoria.”

As she inked it onto his forearm, she asked, “Do you think euphoria is constant, or a moment?” He said, “It’s the moment you realize you’re not alone.”

They kept talking. He came back the next week, and the week after — not for tattoos, but to see her. She painted while he played guitar.

Yuna had no filter. She teased him, called him “soft boy,” and told him to stop being afraid of being seen. He said she saw parts of him no one else ever looked at.

Key Moment: One night, she painted a huge canvas of him — no shirt, just tattoos and shadows. It was raw. He said, “That’s the real me. And I want to be him with you.”

[arbitrarygreay]

Kamiko 2025 Hina Fes Love Namida Iro

Not bothering with video embed since it will definitely die to link rot sooner than later. Kamiko is really something else. Her charisma at this point is just off the charts, all the moreso for her self-awareness of it. She also has a strong self-awareness of her technical skills. Her vocal control has been an obvious one for a while, but what jumped out at me for this perf was the double time bouncing. For all that Angerme was Hashimoto's first concrete severance of H!P from Tsunku, this shows that Kamiko either came into H!P idolizing the Tsunku era, or eventually came to learn about and embrace it. Specifically, that Tsunku rhythm theory. That double bounce isn't something the Kpop-ized choreo teaches, so even if the KSS program still teaches that exercise, I bet the new crop will drop it as soon as they can. I feel like it's not something Kamiko picked up by watching original Ayaya perfs, either, because while Ayaya would do it, it kind of felt forced upon her? She's someone who doesn't need the double bounce for her personal rhythm sense, and is so advanced that it becomes restricting (as she can better have a jazzy flexibility around the beat, hence her preference for live acoustic stuff). Whereas Kamiko's bouncing is indeed pure Tsunku disciple stuff, from Abe to the Rokkies to Sakura. Another piece of evidence is how Kamiko's tastes have seemed to run older these past few years, particularly her command over T&C's Endless Love at H!P con. Meanwhile, I of course have to note how my appreciation for the song and its arrangement have indeed been impacted by the PPC mashup. Man, that groove! It's so good. This truly is a god tier song from top to bottom. Back to Kamiko. Her vocal control is well on display here, but even more valuable to me is the proof in the audio that it isn't post-processed. The imperfections only further highlight her technique, to me. BR scrubbing continues to make me so sad. So much personality is lost. She's not at Ayaya's level, obviously, but Kamiko's strongest unique strength is the way she expresses such JOY at performing. Ayaya always took this song seriously, but Kamiko looking like she's just 200% thrilled to get to go out on this highest of high notes (pun not intended) transforms the tenor of the song, interacts with different aspects of the arrangement.

[jazzmckay]

davg day 3

hoo boy so many good things today :>

every interaction with the companions makes me fall a bit more in love with them, its ridiculous. i love how many more personal moments there are with them, and between them! theyre all amazing and i am delighted by every new bit of info or bonding. it's legit making me emotional, and i even teared up during bellara's quest where she opens up about her brother.

started with lace's magic quest, which was so fun and endearing. i was really happy with my dialogue choices because i felt like we were connecting and i was supporting her in a way that truly resonated with her ;w;

it was at this point that i started to understand that every companion would have their own special actions--id seen bellara's tinkering and lucanis' fade bridges--and thats pretty dang cool

while we were in the forest, i got to do my first bit of proper wandering around which was fantastic. i LOVE exploring (going in the opposite direction of the quest marker, looting, being a Discovery completionist etc). had bellara along because it made sense to take her there too. lace and bellara's banters about the crossover between the ancient elves and ancient dwarves,,, so good. we found a few of those evanuris statues that give you buffs which was neat. even more notably, i found one of solas' memories ougghh young solaaassss, i cant wait to find more

overheard morrigan talking about her relationship to solas being complex... pardon me i need to know more right now

also did the quest to help the traumatized spirit which was another one that really got to me. at the memorial, when the spirit said "a moment of pain does not undo a lifetime of hope" i felt that.

lol. thinking of any abomination in particular, varric?

after a lot of fucking around in the arlathan forest, i finally returned to minrathous with neve and lucanis. taking lucanis was an excellent choice because he had some great colour commentary about tevinter and fighting the venatori. i pet a bunch more cats. and a dog!

then. bellara's quest. this one slammed me with emotions. the immediate tension, learning more about veil jumper stuff, uncovering what all this means to bellara, gosh.

just fuck me right up. its fine. bellara's dialogue here was written incredibly well, gotta hand it to whoever wrote her because a lot of her emotional lines were like gut punches. wish id gotten screenshots of the last bit where she said something like "so i can feel like he forgives me, and like i deserve it" jfc ouch

bellara/merrill shipping intensifies because merrill would understand this SO hard aaaa

spent even more time in the forest with bellara and lucanis. rook made a bunch of hand puns by a giant statue hand and lucanis said "people have been killed for less" :( bro pls i put so much effort into those puns (i lov him)

this made me miss bull because he does the same damn thing in the exalted plains asdfgm

then back to treviso with lucanis. so so incredibly fond of him for getting gifts for the rest of the companions. hes a softie. sweetheart. i may have flirted just a bit. also pet many more cats. found a bard playing "sera was never" i caNNOT believe it lmao amazing. did some work for the crows and lots more exploration. i love trying to find all the hidden chests and stuff

found bellara and neve hanging out and it was so sweet. the companions becoming friends independent of rook is PERF. i also like how they compliment each other in battle when they get a kill, not just rook. bellara's combat dialogue in general is blessed. love how she says stuff like "we're getting good at this!" and "good work everyone!" what a cutie.

another thing i'm enjoying is how the fade environments change. the lighthouse is getting nicer, everyone's making their rooms more homey, the crossroads has more spirits, even merchants?? its satisfying!

ive upgraded a couple merchants and the caretakers workshop which is neat. i wanna buy everything lmao which is new for me! i tend to hoard and just use what i find. but i love how shops work in this game.

getting better at combat; in fact i'm so into the swordplay that i neglect the hell out of the abilities until i get to a boss or tough enemy and remember that i could be making things easier for myself. im trying though!! and it seems like there's even combat dialogue when you get characters to set up combos too?? the interactions are so dynamic and thorough, im living

the fact that if banters get cut off by sudden combat, the characters will be like "as i was saying..." and pick it right back up after.... incredible. revolutionary.

love to see gifts have come back, and i'm really hoping some of them will include scenes like the ones in da2 / the special ones in dao

having a great time all around, there are so many little aspects and upgrades from previous games that i appreciate a lot. feels like the gameplay is exactly what i'm into, from combat to exploration to streamlined inventory etc etc, and the focus on character dynamics is always gonna be a hit with me <3

[courageforbeginners]

Questions 96-100

96. Do you have any prejudices you've admitted to yourself?

I try not to hold any prejudices, but if I had to say that I hold any it would be against white middle aged women. As someone who has worked exclusively in service based jobs, I've come to expect a certain attitude and persona with this demographic. Though I put on my customer service mask for them, I always assume the worst going into an interaction with them. Luckily, in my current job, I do not feel the same way as I have had very few bad interactions with anyone at all. I cannot say the same when I worked in fast food or the amusement park industry.

97. Who is the first friend you ever remember making and how old were you?

Dana at my preschool. Though I would not like to count this totally as I can only remember a name, no features at all. Secondly, my current best friend Rachel. We met in Kindergarten, and we have remained friends since!

98. What makes you lose sleep?

Luckily, I am one of those people where the second my head makes contact with the pillow, I am OUT. But, if something was to keep me up at night, it would be the feeling of being ill. If my body wants to purge itself, I will lie awake and wrestle with God to prevent throwing up. I use this example as I have survived this night only a few days ago.

99. What are three phrases or sayings you say every day?

"LMAO" in the phonetic pronounciations

"Okay perf" to anything I agree with or as a general response

"That's so FUCKING funny" usually when something isn't that funny

100. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth?

Yes...? Do other people just suffer and let it sit? I'm not saying I floss daily, but definitely if food is caught all up in there.

[letterstotheuniversepage]

2024, my first-ever collaborative book with Filipino writers.

I still remember when author Myca Paga slid into my direct messages, inviting me to participate in the largest book collaboration she would ever lead with Filipino writers. I was truly surprised because that was our first interaction, and I’m grateful she noticed my writing page and extended the invitation. Honored by the opportunity, I gladly accepted and became a contributor. Thank you so much, Miss Myca, for trusting my skills and for your generosity in bringing us all together to make this project a success! This book is particularly special to me because I wasn’t just taking a step in my writing journey alone—I also had the chance to bring two of my friends and classmates, Ylisle and Kirck, to be co-authors as well. It’s truly been an incredible experience.

The best part of this project, Whispers of the Heart, is the immense support from each contributor. Though we each contributed only a few literary pieces, we all valued the book deeply and worked hard to promote it. Special mention to our talented co-authors, Kyang and Frenchshield, who also served as the book cover artist and layout designer, respectively. It was a real team effort, all 48 of us contributing in our own ways.

God is truly great. He used my fellow writers, especially Marix Luna, as instruments to bring our book to the 2024 Manila International Book Fair, where it was displayed and sold out! It’s a blessing beyond words. Hopefully, next time, in God’s will, I can attend the book fair and meet my co-authors in person.

It’s a success, and I’m hopeful it will continue to soar higher! I’m so proud to be a part of this beautiful book. To God be all the glory!

Book Title: Whispers of the Heart A Poetry and Prose Collaboration Tags: Poetry, Poem, Literary, Collaboration Book Cover Artist: Kyang Layout Designer: Frenchshield Shayne

Listen to the whispers of exceptional writers in your heart! This collection takes you on an emotional journey, weaving themes of love, longing, and heartache. We hope it touches your soul as deeply as it did ours while writing it.

The Authors: Aerasyne – mistyplenilune – Rose R. Sales – Andrea Nicole Isiderio – Anneyiie – Almira Maruhom – Aubrey Raymundo – Cat Lean – Simplyamorous – Clypeusthetic – elixnebleu – Hannah Redspring – Hiraya Tinatangi – Stranger’s Poetry – Marisstella – Precious Magdaleno – Jenny Grace Patilano – John Mark Gutang – Josa Pimentel – Juli Sandoval – J.Z. Romeo – Kirck Datuin – Kia Jane Pama – Lea Jane Salud – Lolita Rose Petalver – all4faith – Marix Luna – Mark Edison Camacho – Mary Jean Garcia – Jhemar Lagata – Michelle Samson – Myca Paga – Nerel Jean Calunod – Perf Silvestre – Regmesu – SLOWNSTURDY – Rosanna Daep – akarayue – Sandara Antonette Morales – Sharlaine Orines – SleepingSinger – Strangerxd29 – Weirdygurl – EmpressMaire – Windee – Wiz Morrison – Ylisle – seeyouinspain

Written by: Amaranthine Briar / Akahana

Letters to the Universe First Publication: 2024/05/07

Content Copyright © Rose R. Sales All rights reserved.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No because Karasu just has it all no one compares to him like Aoyama stressing for good reason LMAOO

Fr no in between….Mira once again serving the community with realistic dynamic representations….

LMAOOO EXACTLY that was my exact vision for Otoya!! I think it works esp well because we know he’s such a good with the flow dude…so he’d be like ok welp boxers are swag

FR im so excited for Karasu content because I’d imagine we’d get at least like two more chapters worth of Karasu panels soooo (please let him appear more in the main series too omg) another visual added to the manifestation circle

He’s so gorgeous in the epinagi series!!! I think it’s also because the artist has more time to like thoughtfully draw everything out so there’s not as many low quality npc type panels or moments LOL

LMAO good luck coming up with the au theme!! In Mira we trust part 15 but omg a title already…is this top secret….if not…..I’d love to hear it….

SHSHSH stop this has me kicking my feet we’re like y/n and tullia in the Miraverse but on tumblr LMAOOO but SAME sometimes crack is refreshing like I’ll never saw no to a goofy moment where no one’s dying but instead they’re just involved in crazy stupid shenanigans

HSJSHSJS you’re about to collect the entire bllk cast with that thinking /j it’s ok we steer you away and back to the tabietiaken side character agenda….but yeah something about ness just doesn’t do it for me LOL but FRR I remember following along with the chameleon/Charizard rebellious phase I ate up that drama

LMFAOOOOOO BRO BROCK I can’t that’s so funny….im ngl I always lowk made fun of Brock because he’d always go for all the nurse joys and office jennys and any adult female…maybe this was the first sign to your Otoya conversion HAHA ok but you are onto something….bro knows first aid and can cook well it fr is Otoya x Barou love child……kinda a player but I’d like to think he wouldn’t cheat and also husband material without all the yelling LMAOOO

Im ngl whenever I think of Brock I think of his croagunk coming to reign him in in the Sinnoh season and also his iconic line “I’ll use this frying pan as a drying pan” when they were running in the rain….so many good memories….

Ok responding to the other response here too so I don’t keep piling on asks

TULLIA >>>>> I’ll never get over her death in pi though…I was so invested I thought she’d end up happy with toge but no??? Anyways….but I see what you mean!! I think like a lot of the insert fics I’ve seen where the mc actually enters bllk it ends up just kinda following the plot of bllk but with the addition of the mc into the main character group and that setting makes it a bit hard to add canon divergent scenes that show character growth etc…..honestly the smau was perfect because we get to see the character interactions in the realm of “girls in bllk” while not having to worry about the logistical details of plot and whatnot LOL

LMAOO Otoya and Shidou a menace to everyone in bllk im crying Karasu getting constantly targeted and attacked was hilarious and it was honestly how I envisioned their characters to be like too sooooo (the head nod emojis crack me up in general they’re so goofy but SHIDOU using them just amplified the effect by like ten times)

I snorted at that part like bro really tweeted onto social media “please take me in as your child pls I need parents get married and hurry up”

THE GRAMMAR GUARDIAN + THE ALTERNATIVE INTERPRETATION OF TBE WORDS BEING A POINT OF TEASING ISAGI WAS GOLD like I read that part and really thought “this is so big brained omg this is hilarious”

PLS DO!! These were so entertaining to read LOLLL

ALSO apparently there’s some live/talk show going on in the next day or so with some of the vas where they’re gonna release new info on s2….will keep you posted if I see anything…..

- Karasu anon

words cannot describe how perf karasu is 😔 truly i feel like i haven’t liked a character this much in AGESSSS (besides nagi) like bllk really reignited smth in me!! and YES for sure there’s def a time constraint thing but also idk if you compare otoya or barou in epinagi with karasu specifically it’s just like damn…not even trying to hide who the fav is 😭 although maybe i’m just biased because he’s MY fav

i have a few titles floating around so ofc it’s subject to change especially based on what i actually end up writing abt but atm my fav is “dragonfly dance” 🤔 haven’t picked an au yet but i’m getting a very sad feel based on what’s brewing in my mind ☝🏻 not angry sad the way hollyhock is but like regretful sad if that makes sense 😰 smth abt fighting an inevitable destiny but knowing deep down you can’t really change it…we will see though maybe it’ll end up being smth more lighthearted!!

i think brock would be so happy to have a girl be into him that the thought of cheating would NOT cross his mind he’s like peak malewife material 🤩 PLS the frying pan like is so good 😭 he’s so iconic tbh the first few seasons of pokémon looking back were SO funny on a level that i as a child could not comprehend

LMAOOO i fr pulled up w a spin move there her death in pi was so brutal honestly 😓 but yk me letting my readers be happy is a new development and a bllkverse exclusive normally i’m much meaner!! and i will say that in this version in my mind mc is actually in a different wing altogether during the first selection…she was on the same first selection team as other characters we know (maybe like hiori and aryu??) and she was def on team z but not THE team z ☝🏻 meanwhile tullia was in yet another wing (maybe with shidou) so definitely opportunities to branch away from the main plot!! but then mc and tullia do end up as 2 and 3 during second selection (replacing aryu and tokimitsu) because they’re professional players so they can score 100 goals much faster than the others which means we do circle back to being alongside the manga storyline 😔💔 i don’t even have an issue with following canon because idm messing with that — it’s more so that there isn’t necessarily a CONFLICT for the mc besides being a girl?? but she’s a way better player than most of the bllk guys so it’s not a huge issue which means she doesn’t really need to develop much as a character 😬 plus my vision for her in the NEL is literally that she stays benched for the most part because loki thinks she’ll inhibit charles’s growth too much….so honestly i’m afraid a fully fledged story might not be too entertaining (although it certainly would have its moments…karasu x mc partnership plus a deconstruction/subversion of the “i can fix him” trope with nagi plus the tullia and isagi drama going on in the background) 😵‍💫 BUT smaus are perfect!!

THE HEAD NOD EMOJIS ARE SOO FUNNY and shidou would be the one to use them unironically 😭 pls karasu getting bullied was so good LMAOAOAO when he was like “it’s just one thing after another with you today” to otoya i think that was his best line he was so done 😔💔

can’t even blame hiori for that one because his only other options for a mother and father duo in this au are tullia + isagi which would be too friendly for him, tullia + barou which is just scary (mostly because of barou), anri + ego which is even scarier because they’re BOTH crazy, and mc + nagi which would actually be a worse situation than the one he’s in…nagi is NOT cut out to be the father that stepped up 😭💔 in a world of nagiy/n shippers (aka tullia and chigiri) hiori stands alone as the sole tabiy/n shipper 😓 besides maybe otoya but tbh otoya just roots for whatever he finds the funniest at the moment

LMAOOO i think my fav parts of smaus is making random characters interact when they hardly ever do in canon…like grammar guardian isagi and womanizer otoya hardly have any scenes together in the manga but they are beefing HEAVILY over twitter!! NOT TO MENTION OTOYA AND SHIDOU GANGING UP TO BULLY KARASU AND RIN 😭 like those two genuinely do not even interact but yet they just came together so naturally in the smau and i think half of the humor is just those random unexpected relationships that end up occurring HAHAHA

ooh definitely do keep me posted!! i’m always ready for more s2 info…because it means we’re just that much closer to tabieitaken on screen + the returns of nagi and barou (and the other characters ig 😩 preparing myself for the influx of aiku and sae content that’s abt to FLOOD my dash i’m sure)

[betweenthings2]

hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”

i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)

i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)

your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.

now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.

"Sorry," Matty apologizes.

George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.

what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)

hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!

i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.

thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)

Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)

I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.

First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.

I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:

"it would be a waste of art."

Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!

I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚

[starburstfloat]

ok ok i’m rly late to watching their VMA perf bc i was out all day but oh my god they KILLED IT!!!

their presence was so powerful and the michael jackson influence was *chef’s kiss* they did so well!! IMO soogyu’s vocals work rly well for this type of song and i wish that could have been captured better in this stage :( that said, the camerawork was much better here!!

and can we talk about the styling and overall creative direction too??? something is definitely up with all the rain elements for tnc: freefall 🤨 loved the whole undressing/shoulder exposure going on — it’s def still following the whole maturity arc they got going on — a teasing kind of sensuality that works so well for them. such a delicate balancing act that they nail every time

you were right that the anitta interaction could have been spicier — we’ve seen the anitta solo perf behind vid with all her dancers grinding about!! Let them use their hips!! 🗣️

overall the boys did amazing and local twt is going crazy for them too 🥹 and i’m waiting impatiently for the song’s official release, and i’m sure i’m not the only one!!

Same here I've been so busy that I haven't found the time to properly sit down and analyze it but first off YES I agree their stage presence was excellent and I also loved the Michael Jackson vibes! I loved how confident they looked and sounded. The choice to have beomgyu and soobin stay in a lower register was perfect!!

Also idk who the performance director is but I want to personally thank them for giving beomgyu the coolest intro ever!!! Like!!!! Can we talk about how epic that was?!!!

That organ music opening with the thunder and lightning better be on the official track. Goosebumps everytime!

I hadn't even considered how the stage elements tie into the narrative arc of tnc but you're right that the rain and storm are probably indicative of where their story is going. I wonder what track position back for more will be on the album because if it's the first one it would tie well together with farewell neverland, of them having jumped and fallen but perhaps hitting a storm. I'm so hyped to see the track progression on this album and do more analysis! Again, whoever is the creative director here: I WANT YOUR JOB literally such a dream

In terms of anitta's part though yeah we really could have upped the spice 🙈 I mean. We all know what she's capable of. I think I was expecting more of an interactive choreo element with her but it was obvious that they've prepared choreography that would work well without her bc obviously they can't always perform this with her. Having said that I wonder who will replace her part in the live version at their concerts? 👀

Overall I'm with you on the reaction though; they killed it and seeing the locals go "damn didn't know these kpop boys were that good" is such an ego boost hahaha anywho~!! More rambles to come as the mv drops! Hope you're having a good week 😘

[honorarystripes]

My url please 😊

My Opinion on;

Character in general: Mobius, I love Mobius. I never thought that Owen Wilson would join the mcu but the interactions he has with Loki are perf in the show. He really is an interesting character. How they play them: Are you not Owen Wilson himself? I swear you write with his words and inflections. I'm so happy to play with you any chance I get because it's engaging and inviting. The Mun: Engaging. Inviting. Kind. Welcoming. The first person to send kind words.

Do I:

RP with them: Yes. Want to RP with them: Yes.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: Perfect person and muse.

[badwolf1950]

reblogging so I don't loose it. idk usually I just create my dragon age characters when I first run the game and form their backstory and personality in my head as I play and interact, but I feel like everyone plans ahead so maybe I should too? All I know is I want to play as a Crow, magical assasin like my fav type of MC from original work would be perf but not sure if that will be allowed. BTW who I want to romance in a game is Azandar al-Cybiades from ESO, sad sigh. Give me my grumpy AuDHD coded old magical man travelling weird dimmensions ;___; So no one in DAV is more compelling atm.

I wanna play in cc so bad so I decided to do the second best thing: Character Template! feel free to use and edit<3