#<- is true. However there is something that many people fail to consider

[syn4k]

yknow sometimes i have to stop and wonder how many fanartists we've unintentionally given heart attacks because of how our tagging system works

[scribblestatic]

The autosave didn't work. Thrice.

*kicks my feet and screams*

THE WORLD SHAN'T STOP ME, tho do excuse me if some of the stuff seems short. I got tired of writing some parts over again lol.

Spider Shen Yuan, aka, continued creaturfication of the twink.

--

More people ask for silk so they can use it for repairing clothes, making rope, and other necessities. It's stronger than iron and softer than a silkworm's well-treated cocoon. They use it for rope, integrate it into their utilities, everything. And it's such an iridescent color, very enchanting to look at.

Considering the thick forest and the mist that flows through it, perhaps someone could mistake them as a village visited by a god responsible for clouds, capturing rays of light and stringing them into form for their favored worshipers.

But, well, no. It was a spider.

A spider that, despite the agreement and the comfort many people came to have with him, they never quite forgot that he was a beast. Of course, that was well and good enough. Their relationship was built on mutual respect with some reverence built in.

Fan Zhenzhen's relationship with him was much closer to that of a devout follower, it seems.

That was the only way he could explain her standing in the snow of winter, bundled warmly in fur coats and thick boots, her cheeks pink from the chill as she held her infant.

"He is Ruoxing. 'Like a star.' Because of Zhizhu and your blessings, he was born safely."

(若星 - Ruò Xīng)

Shen Yuan's largest two eyes focus intently on the child, who coos and gurgles, unable to move in his warm swaddle. He smells like milk, and looking at him evokes memories of a life he perhaps had begun to forget. If he'd been a little girl...

"Zhizhu, this lowly woman has a request. As payment for today's story, please bless this little boy, that he may have a good fate."

"...Mm. Commence."

This time, Zhenzhen tells a story about her husband, the man she'd lost just a few months before. She talks about how they met in their old village, he being a known playboy and she being a stalwart visitor.

It was through communication and budding love that he decided to marry her. But his family didn't approve. While he wasn't exceedingly rich, he wasn't a commoner either. His family was relatively affluent, and his marriage to her was seen as a slight, like someone trying to pull themselves out the mud by hugging someone else's thighs (not the term she used, but it felt right to think of it that way). This disdain toward her only became stronger when she failed more than once to have a child.

But her husband loved her. Defended her for as long as he could, even after they cut him off from his wealth, sabotaging his business and saying they would only return his earnings if they divorced. He was stubborn, though, and refused. He even began doing hard labor to try to feed the family, eager to make a living.

It was during that hard labor that a bull went awry. He was gored in the stomach by its horns, and he was made bedridden. He suffered in pain, but he tried to recover for his wife. They spent his last days cuddled in his bed when she was home from work. One morning, she woke up, and he was gone.

But, he hadn't left without leaving her a gift. A little star in her stomach.

...Having gained the ability to speak more clearly, Shen Yuan murmurs his dissatisfaction with her family. Whispers little curses, that they would never know peace for what they did.

But he turns his words around upon the request for a blessing.

This isn't just a story to critique. There's a little boy here, and she wants him to bless him.

He's just a spider, however. How could he do something like bless someone? Even so, her story had been genuine, full-hearted, and overall, not yet a tragedy. If this boy lived well, she said, she would consider her life and success.

In the face of that, he must repay her for the tale she told.

"...Burn brightly, little star. Stay true to your path, young stallion. May you weave a tale that blesses those who bless you, and curses those who curse you. Be firm, and be kind."

He gives her a little woven blanket for the child, and Fan Zhenzhen, with tears in her eyes, bows as low as she can manage with the babe in her arms.

As she leaves, Shen Yuan wonders how he knew the boy was born during a Fire Horse year.

...

Winter turns to spring, and spring to summer, and so on.

The seasons change, and Shen Yuan receives many stories, from enchanting and thorough to boring and benign. Regardless, he continues to trade with them as he always has.

Little spiders that once had nothing to do with him were steadily coming under his control. After eating the insects that would try to eat his plants, it seemed their little minds connected to him, and they went out of their way to follow his will.

His own qi was also getting stronger, and his abilities more numerous. Cultivation and meditation became second nature to him. Along with his diet of qi-dense fruit and spiritual and demonic creatures, he felt like his skin was growing a tad thin on himself. For sure, it would be time to molt within the next few years.

As that time approaches, he watches as Ruoxing grows. He goes from being held in his mother's arms to holding onto her hand as he toddles beside her, to walking on his own and bowing to him when his mother does.

He also starts telling him his own stories. As a toddler, of course, it was mostly nonsense babbling, but it had been more entertaining that some of the half-assed attempts a few other villagers tried. The older he grew, the more his stories took shape, although the characters didn't always make sense and the plot could change at a moment's notice.

Shen Yuan, being himself, couldn't help but lightly critique the stories with genuine intent. After all, a child raised with too much praise and not enough guidance could quickly become a fool. He wasn't nearly as tough on the child as he was on the adults, so he was clearly just teaching him the elements of a good story.

...Apparently these critiques caused a slight shift in how Ruoxing saw him.

While Fan Zhenzhen revered him, Fan Ruoxing seemed to see him like some sort of uncle.

That was probably what explained the boy's reliance on him for decidedly human issues.

"I don't know what to get Miyun for her birthday. But I really want it to be nice. Zhizhu, what do you think I should get her?"

Ruoxing, now a young teenager, is cutting into some wood, trying to sculpt something, but clearly not trusting that whatever he made would be enough for her. He gazes up at him hopefully, as though he's a reclusive neighborhood uncle and not a giant spider that could quite literally eat him whole.

Being a spider notwithstanding, he also had never mated, not in this life or the one he feels he may have lived before. As such, he was, quite literally, the worst being to ask for romantic advice.

"...This spider cannot be sure what little Miyun likes. Xing-er would know more. However, a gift given with heart and meaningful intent often means the world to those receiving it. Perhaps Xing-er could recall something little Miyun finds of particular interest?"

"Erh...she likes clothes, I think. Not the hemp ones. I'd want to give her something fancy. She's the eldest daughter, so she works hard. She deserves something nice to wear, like A-niang has. You know, A-niang still wears the coat you made for her. She only ever wears it in the house..."

He sits up straighter, as if in realization.

"A coat! Zhizhu, if I, ah—" He clears his throat. "If this servant tells Zhizhu a story, could he make a coat for Miyun?"

"...It...would be difficult. The coat this spider made for your mother was done in her presence, where this one could see and hear her, measure her. Little Miyun does not visit this spider, so he cannot make a coat to fit her. Unless. If Xing-er describes her well, perhaps he can make one anyway."

Ruoxing hums, his fingers pausing on whatever he'd been sculpting.

"Well...she's older than me by three months, but she's a little shorter than me." He illustrates this by holding his hand horizontally, just a bit above his chin. "Her hair is dark brown, like chestnut skins. She's not pale like some ladies in the big town, but she's really pretty."

Shen Yuan had really meant for the boy to describe her size and features more, but he didn't stop Fan Ruoxing as he started waxing poetic about her personality and beauty.

The more he listened, the more he decided against anything particularly fitted. Something like...a poncho. Yeah. A poncho-like cloak that can fit over her clothes. Something that looks nice, but not so nice that she'd get robbed or accused of theft...

By the time Ruoxing finished, stuttering to a stop with a red face, Shen Yuan had finished most of it.

"Hmm... Heartfelt. Earnest. This one thinks this gift could use a personal touch."

Per his suggestion, Ruoxing carved the wood into a triangular, rounded pin with a hole through the base. Shen Yuan wove thread through the hole, making the pin into a clasp, and had a small hole on the other side of the shawl-like cloth. Pushing the pin through that hole would secure the shawl around her shoulders.

"Thanking Zhizhu for his guidance!"

"Mm. You guided yourself to this. May your gift be received well."

Fan Ruoxing grins eagerly before running off. He only just remembers to turn back and bow in respect before making his way down the hill.

Humming, satisfied with himself, Shen Yuan crawls through his webs, back to his cave for him to relax and meditate in peace.

...

And despite his efforts to accommodate their economic status, it seemed he still made Miyun's poncho shawl too nice.

A few weeks later, a demoness stands where humans usually would, surrounded by demon guards. She has her hands on her hips, glaring up at him. Her eyes are a bright yellow, hair black and skin pink-toned. She wears long, silken clothes that are, honestly, ill-fitted for trouncing around his forest, gold vambraces and necklaces denoting her status.

"This is what you said made your coat? This dumb beast?"

She sneers at her captives, one of whom is Ruoxing. He leans near a shivering girl, who, by the looks of her and the shawl on her body, is Miyun. However, she doesn't seem to be shaking completely from fear, judging from her furrowed brows and severe expression. Fan Ruoxing does his best to shield her, but with his own arms caught and held tightly, it is difficult to do so.

"It probably can't even speak. Ugh. Whatever. Human, how does Li-er make this...thing...produce the silk to make my clothes?"

"...What does the miss want?"

She turns back to him, eyes wide with clear shock. The demon guards also stiffen, becoming more wary of him. They point their swords and spears in his direction.

Miyun flinches in fear, toward him, her eyes shutting tight.

Ah, he probably understands now. Is she arachnophobic? No wonder she never visits. Quite understandable.

"Oh... So it speaks." The demoness huffs, putting her hands back on her hips. "If you understand this girl, listen well. There's no reason for a mere human to have such clothing. This benevolent one shall give you the opportunity to rectify your sin. Make her a beautiful dress, and she shall let you live."

If Shen Yuan had eyelids, he would certainly lid them.

Instead, he just crawls down a little further, staring at her intently.

"...Tell this one a story."

"Excuse me?"

"Tell this spider a story. It is payment."

"Payment? What need do you have of any sort of payment? The only payment you deserve is to keep your—"

"Guuakk!!"

A guard jumped out in front of the demoness. Despite the hard armor on the guard's body, Shen Yuan's leg pierces easily through their torso.

He smells the blood dripping from the demon's body...and can't resist.

It was like putting a prime steak drizzled with butter right in front of him, okay? Sure, he had an audience, but food was food!

So, not minding the iron armor, Shen Yuan's teeth pierce through the chest plate as the demon cries out. He screams in agony as his organs began to liquify, but Shen Yuan's venom acts quickly. Once the demon chokes on his own blood and falls still, he easily sucks up all the guard's innards and qi with a deep, hearty slurp. Not a single thing is wasted, not even the marrow in the demon's bones.

Once emptied, Shen Yuan drops the guard's body like a crumpled carton.

The demoness had stepped backwards, more guards standing in front.

Shen Yuan sighs, then settles in his web.

"Tell this one a story, and the miss may have her dress."

[thicctails]

I need more info on the get better children au, especially about when Bill shows up.

*rubs hands together* I finally got some extra time to draw up some new art for this AU, so let's give it some substance >:3 Long post below the read more with extra art :D

Before Euclydia was destroyed, Euclid and Scalene Cipher were some of its most powerful members. Bill saying that everyone loved him as a baby was true for a time; children aren't born very often, and the Ciphers are considered to almost be royalty. It wasn't until Bill's mutation became apparent that people began to shun him. If he had been born to any other family, he likely would have been abandoned.

Though neither Euclid nor Scalene could really comprehend the concept of something being "up", let alone what "stars" could possibly be, both of them used their status to try and find any scrap of forbidden information, hoping that they could find an answer, could find some confirmation that their son wasn't crazy, and didn't need to be blinded by his "medicine."

It was this research that eventually saved their lives. Having the knowledge that it was possible for things to, hypothetically, exist in a three dimensional plane allowed them to pool their powers and create 3D forms for themselves when Euclydia began to burn, pulling themselves off the 2D plane like a sticker being peeled off a page. It wasn't a smooth transition in the slightest, and the flames managed to damage parts of their bodies before they managed to fully free themselves. The rest of their power went into escaping their collapsing reality, and when all was said and done, they were left near catatonic and floating in the space between time and space for many, many years.

They don't really start to recover until a certain frilly guy upstairs nudges them into a new, stable dimension. This one is almost entirely 3D, and inhabited by creatures that look completely alien to the Euclydians. Creatures called humans.

They meet Dipper and Mabel not long after, and the two triangles attach themselves to the babies, doing their best to care for them in their weakened states when their young, unprepared parents fail to be adequate caretakers. Being 2D is far easier for them, so they stick to the walls like shadows and find ways to speak to the twins, slipping into videos and pictures, music and books, their forms changing slightly to match whatever media they slipped into. They teach Dipper and Mabel their colours, shapes, ABC's, ect, comfort them when they get sad or scared, and once they're old enough, how to do basic things like getting themselves food and water when they get left alone too long.

Neither Pines parent really notices their children making grabby hands and babbling at open air at first, though they do become a bit concerned when years pass and they still stare at walls and empty corners like there's something there.

Eventually, as we all know, the Pines twins get shipped off to a sleepy town in Oregon, and Euclid and Scalene are, of course, coming along to watch over their little stars. However, they become deeply uncomfortable when they start to see visages of their son carved into every room of the twin's temporary home.

It doesn't take long for the show's antics to start, but Grunkle Stan gets involved in the twins adventures far earlier because during The Inconveniecing, Euclid uses his ability to manipulate televisions to play one of those old PSA's on loop until he gets spooked enough to actually check on the twins, only to find them missing.

Eventually, through the help of Scalene using a radio to drag up an old advert for the Dusk 2 Dawn, he figures out where they are and arrives just in time to see the tail end of their ghostly encounter. Unable to deny his knowledge of Gravity Falls' weirdness, he and the twins have their Season 1 finale talk that night, and Dipper shows Stan Journal 3, which leads to all three of them searching for Journal 2 (Stan doesn't reveal the portal yet)

Bill gets summoned by Gideon like in Canon, but things veer wildly off course when, upon entering Stan's mind, Mabel asks him if he knows Euclid or Scalene. He freezes up upon hearing the names of his parents, and he immediately calls off the deal with Gideon, ripping himself out of Stan's Dreamscape. Before he can process what happened, he comes face to face with someone he's only seen in daymares for the past trillion years

Bill dips the fuck out once he realizes he's not hallucinating, disappearing to Axolotl knows where to do fun, productive things such as: scream, cry, break shit, sob on the floor, drink until the teeth in his eye ache, stare at the space between stars for days on end, and interrogate every single one of his henchmaniacs to see if they spiked his drink.

Mans has absolutely zero clue on how to navigate this situation, eventually settling on stalking the Pines because he genuinely cannot think of any possible way to approach his (apparently alive????) parents. How do you go about atoning for the extinction of your entire species?

Bill Cipher has never been one to do things for others for any other reason than to get something back, but he figures the best place to start is by protecting these fleshy human young that his parents seem so attached to.

Wait, would that make them siblings? Axolotl, he sure hopes not.

[gutsyjieun]

tbh i am not a fan of this weird narrative about osha that's being tossed around. saying she has no agency is such bullshit and saying that we fell for that by liking her dynamic with qimir is even more annoying.

osha's whole thing is agency. that is literally, in my opinion, the root of her character. in the coven, it is because of osha's own agency and need for independence that she hesitates saying 'yes i accept this life' to her own family. she's craving freedom she thinks the jedi can give her. her own curiosity and utter need to be her own person, to not be tied to her twin sister are so well portrayed in this desperate grasp onto what she thinks will offer her independence and some kind of understanding of her true self. and then she leaves the jedi order, because it's just another set of rules and ways she must abide to fit into it. just another prison for her because she can't be her own person; her true self. she literally left the one thing that caused the entire conflict with her family in the first place. if that's not agency, i don't know what is. when qimir asks her why she's not a jedi, osha doesn't blame the jedi for anything, she says "because i failed." once again, she's focusing on her own choices and actions, indicating she's very self-aware of her independency and how it may have harmed her. she failed because of her own emotions, also something she's aware of. these emotions she couldn't keep at bay because of her agency; they're a part of her and a part she could not ignore or suppress like the jedi needed her to. it can even be interpreted as the show almost portraying osha as selfish because of how much agency they've given her. i honestly want this to be the case, i need messy, flawed osha

not just that, but osha is constantly practising her agency in many ways; she's leading her life the way she herself has chosen. what she thinks of these choices is a different thing entirely and can be interpreted by however you see it but ultimately her own choices led her to where she is.

which is the same thing that happens with qimir. he literally gives her an option to leave and go after master sol and her sister or just do whatever she wants. she doesn't have to stay there. i know a lot of people think he was manipulating her because he would've trapped her if she had left anyway, but i think that's a wrong way to look at what's really going on here, especially considering osha's characterisation. osha makes the choice here again, implying she has a lot of agency, again, and it makes a lot of sense why she stayed. this is just another way for her to seek out the freedom to be herself. osha is curious about the dark side, whether she denies that or not, and she wants to learn about it in hopes of gaining a sense of who she truly is. it doesn't tie her down to anything and it doesn't take away her agency. seduction from qimir's side may be a part of it but that doesn't negate the fact osha makes her own choice to allow him to teach her. she literally puts on the mask herself, it's not like he forced her to do that. she does that because she is desperate to find her true self once again.

she has so much agency in all her actions i think it's rather frustrating to see people reduce her character to 'she's falling for qimir's seduction because she's such a weak, passive character' like do you hear yourselves... in my opinion the show has made a great point of showing that osha, even if repressed and hesitant/presented as passive, will act out on her choices. and i think that's exactly what she's doing right now. she could've killed qimir, but she chose not to. after he opened up to her, her own empathy and curiosity led her to make that choice. even if she knows he's on the dark side, she still chooses to hear him out. she puts on the mask because she wants to. a part of her can see it could potentially give her what she always wanted: to be herself.

you could say qimir might seduce her to want codependency as this is something he seems to seek, but to imply osha has no agency is to disregard everything that has led her to this point in the story lol.

[youremyheaven]

The Ugliness of Venus

every planet is associated with certain key themes but being under that planetary influence means to experience its very opposite. the extremes of anything is a meeting point for its opposite.

venus is the planet associated with love, beauty, harmony etc therefore it is unsurprising that venusian influence also subjects one to cruelty, ugliness, disharmony, violence and malevolence.

TW: this post will contain mentions of sexual harassment, rape, violence, murder, massacre, genocide, death, suicide among other things so please beware!!!

in my observations I have often found that Venusian natives are often cruel, callous, ugly (i mean this to refer to their actions/behaviour and not just unconventional appearance because "beauty" is a sum of appearance and traits- what we call Venusian refinement) hurtful, jealous and utterly lacking the charisma and hospitality for which Venus is known.

it is disturbing to think of how soooo many well known and notorious sex offenders have HEAVY Venusian influence in their charts. think of any celebrity who has had a sex scandal and they usually have Venusian placements. it's intriguing that no other planet shows up as much (in my personal observations).

Why is Venus so brutal, cruel and embracing of the darkness/ugliness of humanity?

All 3 Venus nakshatras, Bharani, Purvaphalguni & Purvashada are Ugra (meaning cruel or brutal, this is a 7 category classification in vedic astrology) nakshatras.

Ugra naks are known to be action-oriented go-getters and people who are very self-motivated and determined. Any quality can manifest in good or bad ways, so the shadow aspect of this determination and motivation is often ruthlessness, callousness, selfishness and arrogance.

This is also the reason why Venusian naks suffer. Venus seeks refinement, so an individual who does not filter out their own darkness but instead indulges in it, is inviting wrath. More than any other planet, Venus punishes its natives quite harshly and publicly. So many people who have been known to be horrible people, have been exposed, shamed and punished publicly have Venus influence.

Venus energy must be handled with care. Since Venus is love, it has a quality where it loves blindly, completely and without judgement but discretion and judgement are necessary in life. It is not good to be absolutely consumed by someone or something without considering the good and evil inherent in it. This makes Venus natives prone to evil simply because they don't see it as such. They think of it as the depths of their understanding of love, beauty and harmony. Beauty in its extreme however is grotesque, its ugliness, its frightening. Think of all those IG models who have the same face, there is a blandness to their cartoonish perfection to their proportions, it fails to evoke feeling, it fails to be memorable because true beauty is distinct and flawed, its intensity, depth and exaggerated proportions because Venus is not mild or lukewarm, it like to go overboard. Think of Angelina Jolie, her big forehead, large cheekbones, strong jaw, big protruding eyes, its a face that calls attention to itself, its not simple or readily accessible, its the opposite of the IG face where beauty is reduced to ordinary everyday blandness. True beauty is individuality.

Venusian natives are often preoccupied with good and evil, the holy and demonic, heaven and hell, this emanates from a deep understanding of contradictions and the need for their existence. Opposites are an illusion, everything is one. Goodness in its extreme is evil and the extremes of evil touches upon goodness.

So now I'll discuss certain specific examples:

Mao Zedong- Purvashada Rising

He was responsible for the deaths of close to 40 million people who died due to starvation, forced labour and others executed by the state due to their opposition of its policies.

Saddam Hussein- Bharani Sun, Venus in Revati (exalted)

Him and his party used violence, killing, torture, execution, arbitrary arrest, unlawful detention, enforced disappearance, and various forms of repression to control the population. Kurdish people were systematically persecuted and massacred using tear gas.

Hussein was publicly executed for committing crimes against humanity.

Hitler- Purvashada stellium (Moon, Jupiter and Ketu), Mercury and Venus in Bharani

I need not elaborate on who Hitler was and what he did bc we're all very familiar with him but yeah he was a Venusian. He died by suicide.

Stalin- Purvashada Mercury Amatyakaraka

I do not wish to elaborate on Soviet war crimes but Stalin had millions of people die, from starvation, torture, indentured labour etc

R Kelly- Purvashada Sun & Mercury

He is a pedophile and convicted sex offender

Marilyn Manson- Purvashada Sun

He's been accused of assault and rape on more than one occasion.

Idi Amin- Purvashada Sun

Idi Amin was popularly known as "The Butcher of Uganda." Amin overthrew an elected government in Uganda with a military coup, using lessons from the British colonial army. He declared himself president and ruled ruthlessly from 1971-1979. Once in power, Amin started mass executions of the Acholi and Lango tribes. In 1972 Amin forced 80,000 Asians to leave the country, which caused the economic collapse of the country since many were business owners. It’s estimated that through his rule, Amin killed at least 300,000 civilians.

Elon Musk- Purvaphalguni Moon

Sexual misconduct charges, labour law violations, treating his employees like trash and being an insufferable asshole on Twitter among other things. Nobody makes $100 billion without exploiting 100s of millions of people.

Jimmy Saville- Purvaphalguni Moon, Mars in Bharani amatyakaraka and Ketu in Purvashada

He was a pedophile who abused numerous children over the span of 50yrs

Peter Townshend- Purvaphalguni Jupiter & Rising, Ketu in Purvashada

He was found trying to access child porn sites

Chris Brown- Bharani Sun & Moon

He's abused several women, most famously, Rihanna

Here's some examples of people who have risen to prominence by playing ruthless people.

Kathy Bates- Mars in Purvaphalguni amatyakaraka

She is best remembered for playing the psychotic nurse in Misery

Anthony Hopkins- Purvashada Sun

He is best known for playing serial killer Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs

I know this is a very polarising topic and to any Venusians reading this, I sincerely do not wish to spread hate or cause harm, I am only trying to point out some of the things I have noticed. Does this mean every other Venusian you encounter is a serial killer in disguise? No Are all Venusians bad people? Also no. I thought it would be interesting to shed some light on the darker side of Venus which is seldom addressed if at all. Please do not take any of these observations too seriously and do not use astrology as a tool to propagate hatred towards yourself or others.

[superfallingstars]

snape is such a fun character to make headcanons for because i feel like there’s so many ways you can go with it. like, i’ve seen a lot of people say that snape doesn’t take care of himself, like not eating well or washing his hair (lol), and i think that definitely makes sense considering his martyrdom/guilt complex and being raised in poverty. but i’ve also seen people imagining that snape is like really good at cooking and baking, which makes sense with him being a potions master but also kind of conflicts with the other point of view. i think the happy medium is that snape knows how to cook and bake but wouldn’t take the time to do them for himself, only for other people. however there’s a secret fourth option that i want to know people’s opinions on

i like the idea that snape actually does take care of himself, but he’s just kind of bad at it. like i think he tries to make his hair look decent, but it just gets greasy really fast and he tends not to notice until it’s already in pretty bad shape. and i also kind of like the idea of snape not only cooking and baking for others, but also for himself – not out of any real love or care for himself, but as a way of chasing success and distancing himself from his childhood and from poverty. like i can just picture him at the malfoys trying some fancy hors d’oeuvres and being like, oh, so this is how the other half lives. i want to get good at this. and there’s something wonderfully ironic (and let’s be real, kind of pathetic) about the idea of snape carefully preparing a charcuterie board of expensive delicacies to eat by himself in the dungeons or the drafty old sitting room in spinner’s end.

in this case, his hair and his eating habits are really symptoms of the same problem – he’s trying to run away from his past, but he just keeps failing. he tries to fit in with the upper class and the purebloods, to the point he acts like them even when he’s alone, but there’s always something that betrays him as an outsider, whether it’s his body, his loneliness, or the fact that he still lives in his childhood home. no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries to escape himself and his memories, he just can’t succeed.

…almost like how even when he’s trying to be a good person, he still has to kill someone he cares about to be one. he’ll never be free of his past, he’ll never be firmly on one side or the other. he’s just kind of doomed.

basically the takeaway here is that any headcanon can be true if you frame it the right way. also we should read way too much into everything forever. ok byeee

[yearofthesnape]

Meta: Hogwarts Ghosts as Anti-House Symbols (feat. the Bloody Baron vs. Severus Snape)

I saw a post which argued, in part, that Ravenclaw's ghost is a poor example of a good Ravenclaw. This made me consider whether other Hogwarts houses have ghosts that make them look better, and I realized it's the opposite — the House ghosts work as warnings for what each House could become. Snape's contrast with the Bloody Baron especially shows that Snape has triumphed above the doomed narrative that the ghosts represent.

(TW: mention of suicide.)

Gryffindor: Sir Nicholas

As we know from the Sorting Hat's song in Book 1, the Gryffindor ideal is to be "brave at heart," full of "daring, nerve, and chivalry." Sir Nicholas, however, is... not that. We see him trying to get Harry, Ron, and Hermione to solve his problems with the Headless Hunt for him in CoS's Deathday Party chapter by vouching that he is "very frightening and impressive," essentially allowing him to hide behind false praise from people who are of less power in the ghostly world (since presumably it is the living who are being frightened by ghosts). This is the very opposite of chivalry. As for bravery, Sir Nicholas admits in OotP, "I was afraid of death," indeed unusually so, because he became a ghost to avoid it and "very few wizards choose that path" (ch. 38). Sir Nick, then, is not a paragon of Gryffindor excellence.

Hufflepuff: The Fat Friar

Hufflepuffs are supposed to be "just and loyal," "patient," and "true and unafraid of toil," according to the Sorting Hat. The first glimpse we see of the Fat Friar (his argument with Sir Nick in Book 1 over whether Peeves can attend the feast) seems to show his patience with Peeves, but it in fact shows his unwillingness to be just. Peeves has proven himself consistently to be disruptive to social gatherings, and the Fat Friar has mistaken forgiving him with allowing him to continue unchecked. It is harder to draw conclusions on the other Hufflepuff traits for the Friar, given his limited presence in the books, but the description of the Fat Friar recalls Friar Tuck from the Robin Hood legends. While Friar Tuck was known for robbing the rich to give to the poor, he was also known for consistently using the money from the rich to indulge himself, thus benefiting from the perceived spiritual authority of a monk's vow of poverty without going through the hard work of keeping that vow. This is hardly being loyal or true to his word, nor being unafraid of toil. The Fat Friar, like Sir Nick, has not shown the best of his House.

Ravenclaw: The Grey Lady/Helena Ravenclaw

The Sorting Hat song says that Ravenclaws are "wise," with "a ready mind" and "wit and learning." While there is not much information on Helena Ravenclaw, we know that she told Tom Riddle where the diadem was because he flattered her (hardly wise behavior) and then concealed that she had done so until the last possible moment (even less wise). She also tells Harry her true identity without initially meaning to do so, which is not generally an indication of a ready mind.

Slytherin: The Bloody Baron

The Slytherin ideal as expressed in the Sorting Hat song, as I've discussed in this meta, hinges on friendship. By stabbing his desired lover, the Baron fails the friendship test. He also fails the more typical tests of Slytherin "cunning" and "achieving [one's] ends," as there is nothing cunning about getting carried away by anger, doing something you don't intend to do (rather than coolly "using any means," or, in other words, doing what you do intend to do), and then failing to achieve anything resembling your goal (in this case, getting the girl).

Case Study: Severus Snape and the Bloody Baron

It's interesting to see what happens when we contrast the Baron with Severus Snape, a Slytherin as he ought to be. (As for why Snape can be used as an example of the Slytherin ideal, indeed the best such example in the series — one reason among many is that Harry, in the epilogue, uses Snape as his single, sufficient example that Slytherins can be truly good.)

At first glance, the Baron and Snape seem incredibly similar. They are both described as being "gaunt" (the Baron in Book 1, Snape in CoS) and silent (Snape says "Silence!" quite frequently). They perform roles of keeping difficult beings in line; the Baron is "the only one who can control" Peeves (PS/SS ch. 7), and Snape "had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort" (PS/SS ch. 8) and has made himself known to Ron Weasley, likely via Fred and George, as someone not to be crossed. In HBP, we learn the Baron haunts the Astronomy Tower, only to see Snape kill Dumbledore on the Astronomy Tower in that very book.

In death, at first it seems the similarities have come to a climax. The Baron's "blank staring eyes" (PS/SS ch. 7) have always sounded like Snape's "cold and empty" ones a chapter later, but at Snape's death his eyes explicitly get the descriptor "blank" as well. Snape's death scene leaves him (surely) covered in blood like the Baron, with "silvery blue" memories coming from him as well, like the Baron's silver blood, and the visual seems complete. Yet the language surrounding Snape's death dwells on the lack of blood: "Snape looked as though there was no blood left in him." Although there is surely blood all over him, the book does not mention this, though it does not shy away from doing so for the Baron. This is our first indicator that all is not as it seems.

When we arrive at the Prince's Tale, we already know the Baron's backstory. (Incidentally, the titles are another connector and differentiator between the characters; it's better to be a Prince than a Baron.) The Baron is the sort of person we might easily assume Snape to be, on a cursory read of the Prince's Tale... but they are actually very different. Let's break down the Grey Lady's narration in DH ch. 31, because the parallels and contrasts are remarkably complex:

The Baron "had long loved" a woman who "spurned his advances." (Snape certainly loved Lily for most of his life, but she rejected his apology — there is no indication of his ever making "advances" that Lily spurned.)

The Baron "would not rest" until he had found Helena to pass along Rowena's pleas for reconciliation. (Snape shows similar determination, but that determination is to find parental figure Dumbledore for Lily's benefit, not the other way around. Finding Dumbledore, he has cause to think, will result in his death, not in any romantic benefit.)

The Baron is hot-tempered (this is true of Snape).

The Baron, however, "became violent" (Snape is remarkably nonviolent, given how often his situation warrants the use of force).

The Baron is "furious at [Helena's] refusal." (No indication at all of this from Snape; he seems to take Lily's refusal without anger towards her.)

The Baron is also "jealous of [Helena's] freedom." (Snape is happy Lily has power as a witch. He does have an instance of saying "I won't let you —" but in context, where they're talking about how Lily's got the wrong idea about James, it seems probable that he would have said "I won't let you be taken in." When Lily gets angry over this phrasing, he rephrases "at once": "I didn't mean — I just don't want to see you made a fool of —" and then he points out that James, who fancies Lily, is not what everyone thinks he is. All this supports Lily's freedom, as people being deceived are not free. Snape is described as having "bitterness" here, but it's towards James, not Lily.)

The Baron then stabs Helena in a rush of anger. (Snape unintentionally and indirectly brought about Lily's death by relaying a prophecy which he did not believe had anything to do with her or her family. The two situations are clearly different.)

"When he saw what he had done, he was overcome with remorse." (True of both of them.)

The Baron then kills himself. (We know Snape was also suicidal — "I wish I were dead" — but he chooses life in the face of this; in that moment, he sees living will let him help right his wrongs, protect Lily's son, and destroy Voldemort. By the time he dies, Snape has regained a sense of purpose, and he is struggling vainly with the enchanted cage because he wants to live.)

Lastly, the final thing we learn of the Bloody Baron specifically is that "he wears his chains as an act of penitence" — but these chains are an obvious bit of virtue-signaling, as they don't pose any real restriction on the Baron's activities. (Snape's constraints as a spy, on the other hand, chain him far more wholly.)

Perhaps it is partly due to these reasons that we do not see Snape in any form of preservation-after-death, whether a portrait or a Resurrection Stone shade. He is entirely distinct from the ghosts; he has succeeded where they have not, gone on where they have failed to tread, and he needs no moderating version of himself to show what might have been. His legacy is a living child's middle name — a memory and inspiration, but not a command to repeat him over again, for there is no need to do so.

[triptychgrip]

Fruits Basket and the temptation to individualize systemic abuse

I certainly wouldn't be the first or last person to think about this, but one thing that I think happens open with Fruits Basket -- or any other piece of media that focuses on generational trauma/systemic abuse -- is that it becomes really easy to focus on an individual perpetrator and to desire for that person to atone for their harm -- in this case, that would be Akito Sohma -- while failing to consider reparations for an abusive system in totality (the Sohma estate and the generations that came before the current zodiac spirits).

And, of course, by focusing so much on the former as opposed to the latter, we often forget that individual perpetrators of abuse are often themselves victims in the system as a whole. NOTE: this does not mean that individuals don't deserve to be held accountable, merely that in the focus on individual accountability, a lot gets left on the table and a lot of nuance gets lost in the shuffle.

The tendency to individualize when it comes to harm is understandable given what we know about human nature; it's much easier to wrap our brains around the concrete in the form of a single emotionally or physically abusive person, rather than to think of an entire system that enables abusive power dynamics to flourish over long periods of time. The latter is so weighty, and if we're talking about pragmatism, reparations offered from a single person are much easier to conceptualize than reparations from the many people who uphold a corrupt system (who are usually indoctrinated from birth to do so).

Spoilers ahead!

We get the sense fairly early on in the manga/anime that the Sohma family is a very powerful one in Japan. As we get further and further into the story, Tohru learns that various people on the "inside" have been responsible for keeping the secret of the zodiac curse (and for allowing the current zodiac spirits to believe that their fate is inevitable). The curse is truly a shackle, and by the point the story begins, it's clear that all of the current spirits -- perhaps with the exception of Shigure who even admits that the curse doesn't really affect him -- feel the heavy weight of its binding.

We learn that Hatori is the only current zodiac member to possess memory suppression, but it's also true that his father once had this ability, and that it was on behalf of Akito and his father that Hatori learned and employed this power (suppressing Kana's memories, Yuki's friends' memories, etc). However, unless I've overlooked something, we never learn Hatori's father's name, or learn about his backstory. Similarly, there are a number of "insider" maids -- some part of the "Ren" faction, and some part of the "Akito" faction -- that we see throughout the story, but we don't know any of their names either, or their backstories. And yet, these maids are a huge part of what enables the corrupt system to flourish (and to a lesser extent, what keeps the power struggle between Ren and Akito going).

I actually find it a little astounding how little focus there is on the maids, considering that 1) they know about the curse, and 2) they are not part of the zodiac, which means they could theoretically defy Akito without enduring emotional or physical turmoil (unlike the zodiac spirits themselves). And honestly, it would have been entirely plausible for them -- at least, in the most practical sense -- to defy her, as we know that Akito is rather frail. Sure, we see her be physically violent at many times throughout the story, but it's a little silly to think that she would be able to hold her own against one or more of them if they teamed up together.

A question that I find myself returning to again and again is: what incentive do the maids have to uphold the corrupt system they are part of?

Does it truly come down to their being raised with a certain set of values, and a disposition to not go against the status quo? Given what we know about Akito, it's not as if we're led to believe that she treats any of them particularly well. So does their loyalty to the idea of the curse come down to having a proximity to power? Even power in the form of a person who is clearly very fickle, prone to tantrums, and generally speaking, emotionally unwell due to severe loneliness and fears of abandonment (note: this description could apply to both Ren and Akito)? Is the prospect of being a mouthpiece for the head(s) of the family really so appealing?

I obviously don't have answers to these questions, but they still inform my thoughts around how dangerous it is to think of Akito as the lynchpin of everything, particularly when it's clear that she has been so incredibly damaged by the family, both in terms of being told that she is "special" from such a young age -- thereby basically ensuring that she has a life of loneliness due to her being put on a pedestal -- and by way of the more obvious point in being raised as a male, counter to her own desires.

Honestly, the first time that I saw the below manga panel, I broke down.

I think it was my first time truly seeing Akito as the scared little girl that she really is...I mean look at her face. She looks like a wailing baby, so utterly helpless.

She is a victim of toxic abuse, and don't get me wrong: she absolutely perpetrated horrific emotional and physical abuse that she deserves to be accountable for.

But, I really wish we had seen more follow-up to the point of reparations...and not only for the individual zodiac spirits. Perhaps this starts with some decent therapy...and to that point, how would that even work? Wouldn't most therapists just generally not believe in a zodiac curse in the first place? -- but some acknowledgment that all of them, even Akito, were caught up in a world that stripped them of their own agency all due to indoctrination that began long before any of them were even born.

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: This is just a Prologue/Test. If this gets more, I'll add more to it.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.

+@c-u-c-koo-4-40k.

TW // None.

|°ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| |°ɪᴄʜᴏʀ’ꜱ ᴀᴏ3°| |°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°|

Guilliman was never one to take much part into the... electronics like some of his brothers have. He was more focused on trying to get the paperwork done rather than playing with such a thing that only helps him when his work needs to be organized when he can’t do so at the time. So, he's mildly grateful for it, but in other times when it fails him when he's trying to do his work, and it completely shuts off on him? Leaving his progress unchecked? Not so much. There has been a point where he wanted to launch the stupid machine into the chaos of the warp. Though, that wouldn’t be a great idea considering that would be giving the chaos free information. That is if they like going through files with just numbers in them.

However, something about one of the delicacies of having some tech peaked his interest a bit. Not because it could possibly be organized better, and most likely couldn't with how old this little, tiny... "phone" looked. It looked like a relic of the ancient past, but the small thing still worked. It… shocked him in a way, all it needed was a simple charge and it was at 100% in seconds, but that still wasn't what interested him.

It was how the tiny thing still had this "service." That it still had... people communicating through it. He's read some of the... vox? Messages? It seems like the have gotten the wrong number? Other times whoever was on the other end was persistent and kept the phone dinging at him at the worst times saying something about a woman giving this random male the wrong number, but also proceeded to try the number out again and again. He wonders if the woman had completely rejected the man at that point with how many foul words they have typed out and even “voicemailed.” The man was definitely not a noble, but it's possible with how much supposed currency they have. He was honestly tempted to answer back...

Though, one of these "group chats" has interested him the most as this group chat included his "phone number" with them. Many people at once, greeting and saying hello. It was… surprising, but a great change of event’s between a simple, unyielding command or a demand. Not only that, but the pictures of their world? It almost reminds him of Terra or at least what it could have been before he was even created, and the people? Thriving: Happy. They looked happy.

You looked happy.

He… also finds an interest in you. You are a rare find of the universe. You pull him in even when he doesn’t even know you. You’re always kind enough to fill him in when he attempts to join in and gather information, or when he’s still figuring out the mini controls of the old tech. He should really transfer the data, but he knows what lies in the dark of his world. So he just hides the phone in his quarters, and when he gets the time? He goes through it. Seeing what this other world has been up to, what you have been up to. He’s glad the whole group chat of 4 (including you and him) didn’t even bat an eye when they figured out they hadn’t recognised his number on the device. They simply… accepted him; trusted him. Even without knowing him too. It was almost bizarre. To be accepted quickly as if he wasn’t the most important being on Terra. You- They have treated him like an equal. Not many dare to do that, and he wonders if this is how the twins felt like sometimes?

He shakes his head, dismissing his thought as he places the tiny phone down in the middle of his chest while he rests on top of his comforter, his eyes looking up to the ceiling above him. He honestly believes your planet is one of true paradise. Not worn with war and hive cities. Your world actually has luscious trees; forests adorning your roads and places you walk upon, something Lion might like. You had gardens where the whole city would come to take brakes in, unfearing of what may lay beyond the atmosphere. You didn’t have high tech like his world, but that didn’t matter to him. It didn’t compare to the beauty that the world held. What you held.

He shifts slightly when he feels the phone vibrate on his chest and he moves a bit quickly to hold up the phone again. His eyes searching for the notifications that appeared on it. A message from you calling for him in the group chat.

“Lord Robute, are you still there?”

A small smile grows on his lips, before it's quickly taken away with fluency, his fingers chicken typing on the frustratingly small phone. He knows when you call him “Lord” it means you were either in a good mood, you’re in a playful mood or you just used it to address him as the whole group chat mentioned his name was like a royal name. Therefore, they have started to use different titles to address him in a… friendly manner.

“I am.”

“I have a picture of the Black Templars I think you would like, here.”

He almost freaks out at your words, but remains composed; staring at the phone, waiting for you to send the attachment, and when it sends. He’s interested. These Black Templars looked nothing like the Templars his world has. Well, besides the colors and the logo, but the armor is way different. He likes when you send him the history of your world, it pleases him in a way to see the weird similarities.

“Thank you.”

Is all he says, and he gets comments from the group chat about his simple responses. Talking like a “dadbod.” Whatever that means, but he’s pleased to have found these communications with the group and you. He’s… He’s going to keep this little device a little while longer, and hopes the imperium doesn’t find your world. He hopes the Emperor doesn’t find it, and definitely a couple of his brothers too. He doesn’t wish to see you besides where you already stand, and that thought saddens him a little. The thought of you not being close…

He must do what is right, even for you, but for how long?

[nthspecialll]

When it comes to Abigail Marston leaving John in 1907, a lot of people throw mean comments at her, say that she was unfair for doing so and a lot of other things, however I think that people fail to consider the time that this game is set. This is not our modern day woman, this is 1907, and it might sound like I am stating the obvious but by the hatred that she gets it I think it needs to be said again.

1907!

Do you know the rights that women had then? Or the lack of. Women were bound to their husbands, they weren't allowed to own close to anything and were only allowed to vote in about 4 different states, some women that is. Women were seen as a servant to her husband.

It was also hard for women to earn money, the average woman over 16 working in a factory (as the majority was) earned 5-6 or 6-7 dollars a week, a week! Eggs on average costed 29 cents by the doz, a pound of round steak cost 15 cents and half a gallon of milk costed 15 cents as well.

What about rent? New Austin, which Blackwater and the surrounding area is in, is based of Texas which in 1904 had a rent per room pr month of 28 dollars.

So why would Abigail ever go through all of that? Because of John, because of Jack. Abigail stuck around John for eight years, practically begging him to fix himself, to become better because she knew that she was pretty much dependant on him, because she needs his support to be able to live and she wants to give her boy a chance at a better life but she can't with John constantly picking fights and literally putting her and her son's lives at risk.

A lot of people make it seem like she just suddenly took that chocie, but she didn't, it was a choice that most likely took her years not just due to the financial burden but also the social burden that comes with being a single mom in a time where pre-material sex was seen as a death sin. She could very well be killed merely for being seen with Jack and without a husband.

And not just that, but it was probably also a hard choice because despite of everything she loves John, she really does, yes she screams at him for going out with Saide but who wouldn't. "She won't allow him freedom," no she is scared he is going to die, for us it is easy to say "he isn't going to" because he is a main character and we can just redo if we die taking on twenty skinner brothers or whatnot, but it isn't like that for her. I want you to imagine that your partner/friend/parent told you they were going to fight a gang of who knows how many, you are going to be scared no matter how skilled that friend is because you don't want to lose them. John himself admits it is dangerous work by saying "we always find a way to almost get killed, dont we?" Which Sadie agees to.

Abigail took the choice to leave, putting herself in a terrible situation, not for herself, but for her son. She gave up her one true love so that her son could have a chance at life, have a chance to be better than her and John. It was not easy and it is not something we should shame her for, if anything we should praise her for putting her son before herself.

I love John, I really do, but I think it shows just how shitty of a father he really was, and that Abigail leaving was exactly the push he needed to get himself together, it was the wake-up call he needed. He knew how shitty women had it, he would have to realize how terrible he must have been for her to prefer that over him.

Now am I saying Abigail did everything right? No, she did not. Although I understand her fustrations with him doing bounties she has to realize she is not in a place to be picky about jobs. She did ask John to take on a huge debt for the farm and John is right in one thing "it is legal work that I can handle," and while the farm is taking some time to get up and running it is the best form of income that they have access to.

Now to talk about her annoyance with John going after Micah, it is understandable as it could trigger a decline to their former life of crime or just lead to straight up death. It is unnecessary, revenge is unnecessary, meaning that John is risking their entire life for "nothing." He argues back with "I am doing it for Arthur" but again, yes Micah killed Arthur but killing Micah wont change that, killinh Micah will not bring Arthur back nor put him in a better situation, it is revenge, it is not nessesary, it doesn’t do any good.

If John had died she would not only have lost her husband but also the farm, as women could not own property. I am not that knowledgable on debt laws in 1907, but I would imagine that in some way or another the massive debt John got would end up with her or Jack either way, putting her in a terrible situation.

@heavenlymorals made a similar post back in may 11th where they also explore and explain Mary Linton and Abigail in 1899, it is really amazing and also puts some other light on it.

Sources:

Rent, page 369: https://fraser.stlouisfed.org/title/annual-report-commissioner-labor-6306/eighteenth-annual-report-commissioner-labor-608452?start_page=370

Food, page 233: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=umn.31951000014585x&seq=233

Wages, page 15: https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=nnc1.cu56779232&seq=15

[jellymochii]

My Angel

♱ pairings: Guardian Angel!Felix x F!Reader

♱ genre: fluff, angst, smut

♱ cw: smut, cunnilingus, religious themes, mentions of abuse/foster care system.

♱ wc: 4.1k

↪author's note: Hiya! I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors or if it seems rushed, I'm still a new author so any feedback is greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoy :)

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED**

*Abrahamic-denoting any or all of the religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) that revere Abraham, the Biblical patriarch.

_______________

An angel's task was always difficult, yet fulfilling. Serving at the right hand of the Lord and doing everything possible to assist humans in gaining access into heaven. Some angels, however, we're granted one of the most difficult tasks of all– becoming a guardian to a human.

The tradition of every abrahamic* Religion states that at birth, a guardian angel is assigned to the human, overseeing the physical and spiritual protection of that individual, as well as encouraging them through various methods to turn back to God. While it can be a daunting task for many, especially the angels who were assigned reckless and bold humans, it was overall a beautiful and rewarding experience for many of the angels, watching their little humans grow and live life to their fullest. 

While it was quite normal for angels to grow quite fond of their little beings, and even experience love for them, becoming in love with them was something that was forbidden entirely, as it represented otherworldly and ungodly desires and lust not suited for the pure kingdom of God. This was something, of course, that a newer guardian angel would quickly learn.

_______________

Life would always find a way to kick you down, no matter how hard you tried to crawl your way back up. Not a single day in your life was free from pain, even on the day you were born.

Growing up in foster care was less than ideal, switching from house to house on a whim, leaving any friends you may have made in that town behind as you started fresh. Some of your foster parents and towns were much more pleasant than others, but living in a cycle of rejection of adoption from everyone led you to spend 18 years of your miserable life in the care of facilities and strangers. You were never wanted, not even by your own parents.

The only people you ever considered to be your true family were a pair of twins in the same boat as you, Hyunjin and Yeji. Much like you, the two never had any luck with getting adopted and struggled a lot with trusting others after what they'd been through, and yet, they welcomed you right in every time you found your way back to the facility after another failed fostering. Once all of you had turned 18, you collectively decided to scrape together moments from part time jobs and rent out a small apartment south of the city, where you'd been residing alongside the Hwang siblings for a while now.

Since the foster facility was highly faith-based, you were always subjected to weekly preachings and visits from the local pastor. He was kind, sure– but he always said that God had a path for all of us, and that everyone would find peace eventually, and that your guardian angel is always watching over you and protecting you. Despite listening intently every Sunday, that peace and protection from the world you were promised never seemed to make its way to you. You were cursed and cast out in the eyes of the Lord, left being the second option to everyone. There was no way in your eyes someone out there could truly love someone like you. And yet, you felt that there was someone out there who desired nothing more than you. It had to exist somewhere. Maybe somewhere, love was right next to you all along.

_________________

There you found yourself that day, umbrella in hand, taking the usual 10 minute commute to your part time job. The pouring downfall certainly wasn't ideal for walking in, but you trudged through nonetheless, passing through familiar streets that were usually bustling with life at this time of day. It felt quiet, unusually quiet. 

As you're about to place your headphones on, hoping to drown out the sound of pouring rain around you, a loud THUD coming from behind a coffee shop quickly grabbed your attention. Normally, you wouldn't give it a second thought. It could just be the usual raccoon rummaging through the dumpster, but something didn't feel quite right. Why did you feel so compelled to stop in your tracks and investigate? Perhaps it was a natural wave of curiosity or something compelling you to walk towards the source of the sound. As your feet dragged you towards the narrow alleyway, you felt something stronger than any rummaging dumpster critter could possibly make you feel, almost as if you were being pulled by a string of fate to peek behind the rundown bricks of the shop.

What you didn't expect to see, however, was a man with large wings rubbing his head in pain sitting on top of piled garbage bags in a dumpster.

You froze in your tracks at the sight as your mind raced. What the fuck was going on? Was your brain playing tricks on you again? Was this a lucid dream of sorts? Who is this guy?

The man’s eyes met yours, suddenly snapping out from his pained and confused state as his eyes widened as his face turned into a state of shock.

“Uhhh, Y/N, can you see me?” He said hesitantly.

Who is this guy? You thought. How does he know my name? And most importantly, how big are those fucking wings? Are they real?

“Who are you? How do you even know my name?!” You shouted, taking steps back out of fear.

“Wait...you CAN see me? Is this real?” The mysterious man questioned as he took notice of his large wings wrapped around him, now covered in dirt and torn white cloth from his attire. 

Admittedly, he was extremely beautiful. Warm brown eyes, long golden hair, and sun-kissed skin lathered in a constellation of frekels. Not to mention, the once delicate white fabric wrapped around his muscular arms.

“That doesn't answer my question, who are you and what's with the giant wings?” You retorted.

He paused for a moment as if contemplating his next thought.

“Felix...yeah, I'm Felix. I'm your guardian angel, Y/N.”

“My...what?” You questioned.

He hopped down from the garbage bags he sat on and approached you slowly. Every neuron in your mind was screaming at you to run away, to call for help, but your feet kept you planted as he crept forward, his hand gently cupping your face.

“I’m from the Kingdom of Heaven, I've been with you since the moment you were born, and God... you are so beautiful.” He spoke softly as he wrapped his arms and wings around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

Your mind still couldn't wrap around the fact that a gorgeous man in a dumpster with comically large wings was hugging you like his life depended on it. You felt your nostrils flare up as a stray feather from his wing fell on top of your nose, as your face twitched.

“AH-CHOO!” You sneezed. Okay, maybe the wings were real.

He quickly pulled back from you after the sneeze. “Oh, sorry about these, let me just-” he said as he quickly retracted his wings, almost making them vanish into thin air.

“So.” You said. “If you're really my guardian angel, and you're really from heaven, then why are you here?

“It's...a long story. I made a bit of a mistake, but hey- at least I'm here with you now!” He beamed.

“So then you've seen me this whole time? Everything I've gone through, and everything I've ever done?” You questioned, as you felt your cheeks flare with anger. How could he be real, and how could he let you suffer from rejection your whole life?

“Well, not everything you've ever done, most just the major ones-”

You cut him off quickly with a slap to the face.

“How could you ever let me go through hell and back?! You know all I ever wanted was to be loved, and yet you let me suffer?” You screamed, memories of the past flooding into your head.

Felix hunched over slightly, hand cupping his cheek from the sting you gave him. He crawled away slowly, like a rejected puppy, before he spoke.

“I really...tried my best Y/N. I know you've suffered so much, and it's my fault, really. I was still a young angel in heaven when you were born, and I got assigned to you. I felt every emotion you had and tried my best to keep you safe. It was for your own good...I promise.”

This was unbelievable to you. How was all of that for your own good? The countless lonely nights, praying to God that you'd finally get a loving family, only to be shut out and left to rot in the foster home until the cycle would repeat.

“My own good? How was any of this shit for my own good?! I suffered because of you, asshole!”

His heart shattered. You were everything to him, and yet it seemed like all his dedication to you was worthless.

“I'm done with this conversation, I need to get to work.” You declared as you began to walk back to the alleyway before a voice stopped you.

“Y/N...please. You can hate me forever, but just look at this, please?” He spoke with a whimper in his voice, holding up a soggy newspaper with 2 faces plastered on the front cover.

As much as you were frustrated, you decided to indulge him for once and take a look. The headline of the local paper issued in bold letters stated “BREAKING: FOSTER PARENTS ARRESTED FOR SERIAL CHILD NEGLECT AND ABUSE.” 

Once you actually saw the couple's faces, you felt the color in your face begin to fade. It was one of your foster couples. Your favorite one, in fact. The two seemed so sweet all those years ago, spoiling you with frequent gifts and homecooked meals that tasted amazing - it was the rejection that hurt the most because of how much it appeared like they loved you. Were they really monsters this whole time, and did Felix know about this?

Maybe you hadn't given him a fair chance.

“Did you know they were terrible people, Felix?” You asked, almost regretfully.

He nodded, head still tilted down in ache. 

“They were evil. They wanted to hurt you, I couldn't let them.”

“What about the rest of them, then? There were... some nice ones, I suppose.” You responded.

“No...none of them were ever good enough for you. They would never give you the life you deserved.”

You felt immense remove and guilt for the poor angel, covered in dirt and in pain from your harm. You'd heard so many horror stories from the Hwangs’ about cruel foster parents in and around the town, and maybe Felix was just doing his job. Maybe he did care.

“Hey, listen-uh, Felix. I'm sorry, I didn't know they were horrible. I shouldn't have slapped you.”

His head slowly rose, warm eyes locking into yours. “It's okay, Y/N. You didn't know. But man...I guess this is what pain feels like, huh?” He spoke as a smile crept back onto his face.

“Listen-forget work, okay? How about we just get a coffee or something.” You remarked.

“Oooh sounds fun! I've always wanted to try it!” He beamed.

________________________

You learned a lot that day, to say the least. Felix told you his life story–about how he died when he was only 5 from leukemia, rising up to heaven and living amongst the paradise of heaven, until he was assigned by the elder angels to become a guardian to a human, a high honor for such a young angel as him. At the very moment you took your first breath, Felix was there with you. While still young himself, he quickly matured and aged alongside you, almost as if you were going through everything with him. 

Felix began to tell you how he could sense when you were in danger with your life, and how we knew the moment your mother gave birth, you would be in harm's way with her, hence why she felt compelled to give you up to adoption.

He really did want to see you in a loving home, truly. Yet no one who welcomed you had the best intentions, he'd rather you be alone than in the house of monsters. Call it bad luck, or call it fate.

“So Felix, what grave mistake did you make to get kicked out? Did you try to murder one of my foster parents?” You asked, almost humorously as you sipped your coffee.

“Oh...just a fight with another angel, was all. Not supposed to fight in heaven, y'know?” He muttered.

He couldn't tell you the truth.

The truth that he was cast out of heaven by the elders for falling in love with you.

He's always adored everything about you as a young angel, but as the two of you grew together worlds apart, his feelings grew even more. However, his obsession didn't become out of control until recently. He loved everything about you, inside and out. He loved how you always had your nose stuffed inside a book when you weren't on the job. He loved how your sneeze was so high pitched it sounded like a mouse squeaking. He loved the way you walked, talked, and slept–to say he was a man possessed was an understatement.

Unfortunately, God was all-knowing. He could see his desire, and word quickly got around of a lust-filled angel. 

That's when this morning, after a long meeting with the elders to decide his punishment, he chose to come to earth, to be with you. It didn't matter that he would grow old and feel pain, he loved you, and he would do anything to simply bask in your presence.

You decided to keep him in your life. You let him follow you around and keep you company (as long as he promised not to have his giant wings out). At night, he'd find someplace to sleep, which during the cold and wet season broke your heart, so you let him slowly become accustomed to your shared apartment, introducing him as a friend you met at work. You gave him an allowance to buy whatever clothes/shoes he wanted (to which he quickly became addicted to shopping, spending the bare minimum on clothes while splurging on stuffed animals for the two of you.) 

You couldn't complain, truly. He was a ray of sunshine, and brought something new to your life.

________________

Time flew by quickly with your newfound friend by your side. While Yeji was a little unsure at first of him, Hyunjin quickly became inseparable to Felix, and frequently taught him how to play video games and cook for the house. Turns out, Felix had quite the knack for baking, specifically brownies, which tasted better than any dessert you'd ever had before. As quickly as Felix came into this world, he'd swiftly become the best thing that ever happened to you.

And yet, there was still something that was bugging you.

How could someone as perfect as Felix in every way ever possibly be cast out of heaven? He didn't have a mean bone in him, and surrounded everyone close to him with his graceful love and support. 

He had to have been lying to you about the fight.

One night, while he was enjoying some soup and TV, you decided to confront him. Something wasn't right.

“Felix, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what's up?” He said as he patted the empty spot on the couch, giving space for you to sit beside him.

You sat down and took his hand in yours. You were desperate to know the truth.

“Be honest with me, please. Why did you actually get cast out from heaven?”

He froze in his spot, face becoming pale.

“Felix...you know I won't judge you, I promise. Hell, even if you murdered someone, I'd still forgive you since you've done so much for me.”

He breathed a heavy sigh, there was no turning back now. He had to know if you loved him the way he loved you.

“Ok…I'll tell you but promise me that this won't ruin our relationship, okay?”

“Of course, pinky promise.” You said as your pinky interlocked with his.

“Well–I love you, Y/N. That's why I was kicked out.” He muttered, face heating up his freckles with a rosy pink.

“What do you mean? I'm sure you do love and care for me, but how is that wrong?”

“No, Y/N. I'm...in love with you. I have been for a long time. You're everything to me, I love every detail about you in ways I shouldn't.”

He paused, catching his breath and staring into your now widened eyes.

“Guardian Angels aren't supposed to fall in love with their humans…” He stated. “It's considered Lust, which is a sin. I'll probably never be let back into heaven unless I repent to God, and to you. Even though I’m head over heels for you, I'll never deserve you.”

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he let go of your pinky, standing up and turning towards the door.

“I'm sorry Y/N, I've ruined everything, but I'll leave you alone now.” He whispered as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob preparing to leave.

Only to be stopped by you, as you spun him around and smashed your lips against his.

Your soft lips and gentle cusping of his face made his heart soar back to heaven, leaving him no other choice but to pull you closer and embrace you while your kiss continued.

You pulled back first, almost reluctantly. 

“I love you too, Felix. I actually have for quite-” Your speech was cut off by his lips fervorishly smacking back into yours.

A long, drawn out groan came from his lips as your kiss melted all his worries away, ever so romantic and tender, yet wanting more.

The other angels were right, he needed more, a desire like no other was consuming him, making him hungry with lust. To him, just the chance to taste you was worth more than any eternal life he could have, because who needed Heaven when his Heaven was here in front of him? The more your tongue danced with his, the more something he'd never felt until a few months ago burned in his heart. He needed to taste you, he needed to worship the ground you walked on. He could feel his length hardening every second he spent engrossed in your presence, not claiming you as his was not an option anymore, he had to.

“Baby…” He whispered into the kiss. “...Please. I'll do anything you want, I'll make you feel so so good, j-just please let me have you.”

You parted your lips from his and looked deep into his eyes, now expanded from the love and lust consuming his system.

“Then take me Felix, I'm all yours.”

That was all it took for a switch to turn on inside of him, swiftly grabbing you and carrying you bridal style to your bedroom. He laid you down gently on your back, almost as if you were a delicate sculpture, eyeballing your figure attentively. 

“Can I?” He asks as he fiddles with the zipper of your jeans. You quickly nod and help him remove it from you, leaving only your delicate yet soaked panties exposed.

Felix wasted no time, as he quickly pressed the pad of his thumb to your clothed clit, rubbing circles at a torturously slow pace, causing you to whimper gently.

“Felix...please, I need more.” You whined.

“Oh, sorry love, I got a little carried away.” He giggled at himself, as he began to take off your panties, exposing him to your glistening and throbbing cunt.

It was more perfect than anything he could have ever dreamed of, and all he could ever want.

He looked up at you with pleading and glowing eyes like a puppy begging for its food, looking for any sign of approval to feast on you. 

“Go ahead Felix.” 

Without hesitation, his face dived into your needy pussy and began desperately licking stripes up your folds like a starved man. It was truly the sweetest nectar he had ever tasted, he needed all of it. Every last drop.

You felt almost helpless with him devouring you at this pace, a firm grip on both of your thighs as you squirm at his every touch. His tongue turns its attention to your clit, as his lips wrap around it and begin sucking it for dear life. Jolts of electricity were sent flying across your entire body as you let out a series of high pitched, whiny moans, making Felix suck even harder.

“Felix, p-please!I-Its too much!!” You cried out from overstimulation.

His lips released from your clit with a “pop” as he turned up to you. He looked disgustingly beautiful, with puffy lips dripping with your juices, and pupils dilated in an almost drunken state. 

“S-so good baby, you taste so good!” Felix said desperately. “Cum for me, please? I need it so bad, you have no idea.”

Soon enough, your fingers guide his head back down and begin tugging against his hair while you drive him deeper into your cunt. Felix can’t help but rut against the bedsheets to your moans, his eyes shutting from time to time from the friction of his cock and the sound of your voice as you cry out his name whenever his tongue hits a sweet spot. 

“Oh my god oh my god, Felix please! I'm gonna cum!” You cry out, earning a moan from Felix as he speeds up the already brutal pace, eating you out like it’s the greatest meal he’s ever had. His wings swiftly materialized to hold your thighs in place, allowing him space to bring your body closer to the edge.

One little peck to your clit was all it took to send you over the edge as you released the most guttural moan you'd ever cried out, your whole body trembling as your pussy released the sweet juices Felix desired so much. He wasted no time in licking every spot of your folds clean, drinking it all in as his whole body shook alongside yours.

Your breathing became erratic and heavy, trying to come down from what was possibly the greatest orgasms of your life- when you noticed Felix pulling himself up shakily from his position, taking notice to the newfound stain, and you see why. Right where he was lying down on your sheets, a puddle of warm liquid sat with some running down his leg, with underwear completely soaked. You couldn't help but giggle to yourself as you pulled him into a warm embrace, his breathing still heavy. 

“I love you...so fucking much Y/N.” He spoke softly, head tucked into your shoulder.

“I love you too Felix, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.” You replied, placing a gentle kiss on his temple, rubbing his neck and scalp gently.

Even after only a few seconds, you heard a sniffle followed by a wet feeling on your neck.

“Felix, baby...what's wrong?” You whispered, tilting his chin up so his eyes could meet yours. Tears were streaming down his face, and his lip quivered violently.

“I'm the luckiest angel in the world.” He croaked out through his soft sobs. “I'm glad I get to spend the rest of my life here with you.”

As his soft wings wrapped gently around your body, you finally realized that maybe love was around you this whole time. A sweet boy who loved you and always did his best to protect you, even if you couldn't see it at the time. You were truly grateful to God for sending him to you, and you knew your story with him was far from over. No matter what, you knew he'd always be there for you, and see the best in everybody.

“You really are my sweet angel, Felix.”

[fairystarstorm]

Thinking about what's going wrong with Arcane s2

I have not finished s2 yet (still need to finish act 3 but basically got all the major spoilers). I feel like a big problem with this season and why the Z vs P conflict fizzled out is that so many characters are simply not in the that narrative anymore. Especially since they all had interesting stories to explore in regards to it. And if they are apart of the plot line, the things that would make things more interesting are simply ignored.

Taken from the narrative

Heimdinger: the founder of the city realising that the society he built ain't shit and that he failed Zaun by not helping to uplift and protect them (instead of just picking out a pupil from Zaun and calling it a day). All that Talk about how destructive magic could be in the wrong hands while realising he build a society filled with those exact wrong hands because of his inaction. Him actually putting in the work to change and dismantle those structures and belief systems that he allowed to grow in the first place

Jace: He goes against his own morals once again to build weapons for Caitlyn and her team. But we get none of the introspection or the regret that should have gone with it. Why because he is off in an alternative reality fighting for his life. He finds out that Hextech is poisoning Ekko's tree and there's nothing more to that conversation?? If something had gone wrong with the core it could have destroyed Zaun? Something could have happened that could have disabled or killed many others like it did with Viktor. But let's gloss over it. Him reconciling with his actions as a councilor??? That kid really was just a blip in his life i guess.

Viktor: a big problem I feel with Viktor's character is that he can feel very removed from Zaun at times. Like we never got to see his horror about Hextech being used against his people. We never got to know about any family or how he actually felt about being resurrected. What his plan was for Zaun beyond making a little commune. A huge part of that is also because they barely let this man have meaningful interactions with anyone in s2 besides ghost Sky and Jace. Vi, Jinx, Vander and Isha going to his commune could have been a possibility for that. Because even though I do believe that Vander and him did not know each other personally, I don't think he would not have known of him. Also we barely hear him talk meaningfully about his identity as a Zaunite in Piltover

Ekko (and the firelights in general): In my opinion the biggest snub. The others character arcs were mostly about other things in s1 (piltover politics, hextech etc.) but Ekko's whole motivation was to protect his ppl from both the enforcers and Silco. However we didn't get to see him deal with the rise of enforcers in the undercity or Sevika being the one to try and unite Zaun. We didn't get to see him grapple with the fact that Vi became an enforcer or that he was wrong to place his trust in Caitlyn. And even though I love how ep7 is highlighting his good qualities I wish they were explored in his timeline. Him being there would have also allowed for more spotlights for the firelights and Zaunites in general. None of the other people in the cast (Except for Vander) are as involved with regular people in Zaun then he was. It makes Zaun feel less complex and lived in beyond the visuals.

Mel: Considering that they are setting up her mother as the true big bad (which flattened the Z vs P conflict + general bad writing surrounding ambessa which i won't discuss now), it would have been nice to have her be able to react. Like in the beginning of the season we get it a little bit with Mel using spies to figure out her mother's plans. We could have had her realise that Piltover is not fundamentally different from Noxus because of how easy it was for her mother to take over. Only that the violence they dish out is different between the 2 cities. We could have had her sit that in both cases she is part of the oppressive class and that she was only acting out of self interest rather than actually caring about these issues. Instead of her being Kidnapped to get powers, let her finish the story arch that had been set up for her in s1.

Underexplored

Sevika (And Jinx): her involvement with Silco and how that is seen by Zaunites that are not chembarons. Ppl being unwilling to trust or listen to Sevika pleading for united Zaun when she was apart of Silco's operations make sense. Silco brought shimmer into Zaun. Ekko says that a lot of the firelights joined because of how it ruined their lives. Sevika having to struggle with her role in it and how it ultimately makes it harder for the to reach her goal would have been satisfying! Also her showing up after episode 4 would have been nice in general. Also same with ekko, she was the only one who was reaching out and communicating with different groups of Zaun. She and Ekko were windows into Zaun society that they just kept closed for some reason.

Vi: Just everything man.... her trauma, her choosing to be an enforcer, her alcoholism... her relationship with Jinx/powder, her guilt, her role as protector who seems to be failing no matter what she does. All kinda of flushed through the drains for caitvi to be able to exist (yes i dislike caitvi, no i also don''t really care for jayvik or timebomb and i am also a lesbian).

Jinx: I thinks she has been done quite well so far but I have heard for how her arch ends and it is just bad..... also wished they explored Isha more and what Vander coming back would mean for Jinx

Caitlyn: wish they would actually put the responsibility of her actions onto her instead of Ambessa/Jinx killing her mom. Also the fact it was never addressed that even in s1 she was microagressive as fuck towards Zaunites. Yes she eventually saw the need for independence (after talking to Ekko mind you) but does that mean anything if when she was in power due was actively making things worse for Zaun. She could have started working kn redeeming herself but the fact that the narrative/the writers don't want to put the full blame on her just makes that idea seem laughable

Tbh a lot of it has to do with the fact that the writers didn't let characters interact with each other for long periods of time or deal with the consequences of their actions but hey at least the coplesbians fucked and the scientists had their madoka magica moment

[sphacelating]

bro you have NO IDEA how many lines in my latest essay that I edited out because I wanted to try to reach people and not put them on the defensive.

It's really, REALLY hard to not be a catty, vindictive bitch when I'm so incensed over how people interpret these characters!!!

believe me, this is a struggle i know all too well. a huge chunk of my degree was focused on communication. giving criticism that’s actually constructive is a delicate art and learned skill, the message you want to convey will be lost if it isn’t digestible, and if you don’t take care to make the audience you want to reach receptive to it. without the right approach, it doesn’t matter how much time you put into writing careful explanations and breaking something down into clear talking points. you’re miles ahead if you have good people skills and understand the potential obstacles in communication and writing and how to avoid them, but i am always trying to improve where i’m lacking.

and i do often shoot myself in the foot because my anger and frustration when people are so fucking offensively wrong gets the better of me. i used to have a far worse hairpin trigger temper, i’ve learned to regulate it, but i wouldn’t waste my time writing these long ass posts about something i wasn’t extremely passionate about, and there’s no passion without emotional investment. i’m gritting my teeth through it so that i can stay civil. i have a tendency to be an asshole, especially so when i get annoyed, sure, though i wouldn’t necessarily consider that a bad thing— some topics should not be sugarcoated, sometimes you need to be harsh and blunt to get a message across. most call for balance, however, and it’s especially important in an analytical thinkpiece. piss people off and they’ll be instantly unreceptive and unapproachable. now you’re trying to make sense to an argumentative defensive brick wall rather than having a mutually respectful conversation.

why the hell are we here writing these long thinkpieces if the goal isn’t change? i know we’re both adamant about this because we want to see change in our chosen fucked up corner of the internet, make it suck less, however slightly. i want to encourage people to explore different perspectives, and the key word is encourage. shoving your opinions down people’s throats is only a tactic that’s well received by someone who already agrees.

i’m often told i have an off-putting superiority complex, but my confidence in my well-formed opinions is always going to be off-putting to some. it isn’t a refusal to change my mind by any means— in fact, i find great enjoyment in exploring alternate points of view that make sense to me. if i’m presented with a different viewpoint that makes logical sense, more so than mine, i have no problem changing my mind once i’ve given it some thought. you’ll never see me argue for long in the face of overwhelming evidence that i was wrong when i can see the flaws in my own reasoning.

this is especially true when analyzing tcoaal.

i pay very close attention and i’m extremely perceptive, but i am well aware of that there are many details i’ve missed, seemingly trivial bits of dialogue that i failed to catch the importance of during my playthrough, a lot of things i didn’t commit to memory or that have slipped my mind over time. hell, there’s even entire scenes i’ve never seen and then discover the existence of later on because i haven’t had the time to play the game to 100% completion. if i rejected new information when it’s brought to my attention because of a refusal to admit i’ve been wrong, that would be fucking embarrassing.

unfortunately, people on here are often that exact kind of embarrassing, and that’s when all i can say is “are you fucking stupid?”, and i do. but in the end, what i really aim to do around here is inspire people to be more open-minded and learn where they lack knowledge and experience.

[peanutheaddd]

Hi, since you've been talking about dm's death in divine liberation au lately would you mind answering some questions?

Is Petey present for dm's death/funeral? if not, what are his final moments with him, did dm ask for a final possesion before he goes or smthing like that or this that too gay for hir repressed ass? After his death do either dogman or Petey recognise that they cared for the other more than they ever admitted to anyone(including themselves)? You sometimes mention Petey "outliving" Dogman, does that mean he can die? What happenes to Demons/Angels when they die? If Dogman is in Heaven and lp is an angel wouldn't that mean that he can go see dm? Are people completeley conscious in Heaven or are they like in an absent-minded blissful state?

And last but not least, how are you doing peanut?

I Hope there weren't too many questions, sorry if there are I'm just a questioner(does that word even exist? lol) at heart.

BUH-BYE!

WOOOOWWW SO MANY QUESTIONS YAYYY YAYYY YAAAYYYYYYY THANK YOU MY GOAT HEH.. SMIRKS there can never be too many qeustions bro genuinely the more questions the better. I FUCKIGN LVOE YAPPING

i dont think hes there for the exact moment he dies. it would have been too hard for him but also bc of their soul bond . its just smth thats never been seen before. there Could be some complications if hes too nearby while dms soul is trynna ascend. they dont know that . they dont have Any basis for comparison . and this afterlife shit isnt a game 2 dm LMFAOOOO so i reckon petey respects his wishes gladly .

however he is 100% there for dms funeral . i reckon its very small. very humble. exactly how he would have wanted it . like Nothing could stop him from attending that funeral bro. i reckon he attends in his true form tho not in mortal disguise . he can make himself invisible to mortals anyway so hes kinda just there. he doesnt want to deal with the people at the funeral . so he wouldnt be in his mortal disguise. i reckon lp would go into his mortal disguise tho . just to talk to the other people abt dm . copign in diff ways yk.

ok rest under cut bc this response is long LOLLLLL

tbh i think he would ask for a final possession . hes about to die . yolo yk. hes not above doing anything at this point

when he possesses him for the last time i reckon dms body starts crying. and dm is like why arey ou crying ? and peteys like ur the one whos crying idiot . Plausibly it oculd be either of them. its their last possession and they know it .

ultimately its not clear whos the one that started crying . their soul bond has gotten to such a level such that their consciousnesses are Very hard to distinguish . whenever dms body does something its almost impossible to tell if it came from pt or dm or if that distinction even exists in the first place .

i think dm recognizes that pt was . his life partner . and that he was one of the most important people in his life . and that he made him happy . and ig thats what love is right . and he realizes allat like right before he dies.

i reckon he tells him too. but not explicitly . its more like a. thank you for being in my life. kinda thing. which is like basiclaly the same thing as saying i love you and kissing with tongue considering all the repression that lays the foundation of their relationship

again right before he dies the gates of repression holding all his feelings breaks and it all comes out basiclaly . not in a crazy flood bc theres like a even bigger even stronger repression dam holding his deeper bfeelinsg back still. but some of the more. lighter ones. he verbalizes .

as for demons dying . i think its more like demons represent certain kinds of sins . im thinking of peteys sin being smth like excessive blind loyalty. just becasue thats the sin that made him fall. and its like they die when that concept. just fails to exist. so yes they can techincally ""die naturally"" just. basiclaly doesnt happen ever. so theyre esentially immortal

demons can also just be killed . the more insignificant of a concept you represent, the easier it is to kill you (weaker + less protection from hell) and the easier it is for another demon to fill in the gaps until your replacement shows up. yk??

when they die they just cease to exist. theres no after after life or anything .

as for post dm death . dm was eligible for the highest level of heaven and he took it . which im thikning is smth like ceasing to exist or reincarnation or smth along those lines.

essentially whatever afterlife you choose is the one you get locked in. Forever. and dm is So tired. he doesnt wanna continue existing as dm anymore. hes lived long enough. hes so tired. and he knows if he chooses a lower level of heaven its smth hes gonna be stuck in and he knows hes gonna get tired .

heaven is like a fucking . society without capitalism i guess. but ig also the people in heaven have no physical needs. they just work driven by . their own motivation. vut essentialy everyone in heaven has a job . theyre all angels . they get tasks assigned to them and because these people are in heaven theyre the type to be happy to take on their assignments . its hard to describe how i think about heaven but esentially thats. kind of it ????????????? so yeah theyre conscious.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!!!! I LOVE YAPPING

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

Did you consider the Roman's works and sources as "ancient fanfics"? I've been seeing people erasing or reducing the roman material in mythology just for being roman. I thought is was okey just to make difference (Greek Mythology and Roman Mythology) i don't think it was fanfiction... But maybe i'm wrong, i'm not an expert on this. Which i can consider a reliable source and which a fanfic, i want to begin to study more sources but i don't want to make something wrong, specially with the "Greco-Roman" thing T-T

Breaking the inbox silence just for you anon! (everyone waiting in my inbox i'm so sorry pwease forgive me i've been so busy </3)

First let's define the word - what is "fanfiction"?

According to the Dictionary, it's "fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, ect."

Now let's talk about the million-dollar question - are the Roman myths fanfiction of Greek mythology?

*inhale* no. not in my opinion.

Firstly, Roman mythology existed on its own before the Greek/Roman syncretism, with stark differences in the Before period compared to the After.

Example? Janus and Diana were married. Diana only became a single, non-committed goddess after her syncretism with Artemis. Apollo straight up didn't exist, nor had a 1:1 counterpart, though notably his Etruscan-Italian equivalent (and predecessor, if you ask me!) Aplu was prominent in nearby regions.

So Roman myths very well already existed by the time of the Greco-Roman mashup!

However. The After, of course, does hold a mighty fine argument for their Hellenistic era myths to be labeled "fanfiction", due to how Roman authors did take Greek myths and made their own changes to them (with various reception lol).

Especially when some changes are very much in contention with their Greek versions...

The thing about the whole Greek-Roman thing is that Rome did, at the very least, admire Greece's culture. And due to syncretism (which Rome did to everyone they conquered, it wasn't just kept to Greece) they ended up mashing their gods together, ending up changing their own mythology too.

So in a way...they made something new out of Old Rome mythos, and Ancient Greek mythos. I guess in a way it could be seen as "writing fanfiction" then.

Buuuut here's the kicker that I must stress:

This is a religion we are talking about. And no matter what denomination, pantheon, ect ect you subscribe to - or if you don't! - it is extremely important to remember that these figures are not made-up in their followers' eyes. They are not characters in a fairy tale.

Which -glances at the many retellings- is why it's so hard to find a book that genuinely appreciates these cultures, no matter Greek or Roman.

Retellings? Definitely published fanfiction because the mythological people are treated as fictionalized characters...with various degrees of accuracy to the source material.

Roman mythology? It's own thing, then it morphed into something new due to exposure to different cultures, and remains a religious community to this day.

I have my own gripes with Roman myths, but I do try to not invalidate them. Heck, I've been trying to read Ovid's Metamorphoses (re: failing because I've been swamped lololol) and so far I'm enjoying it! Some of Ovid's stuff is my favorite version even if it's different from the Greek one (re: Daphne). It's just a matter of preference.

I've cracked a joke now and then about Roman myths being Greek mythology fanfiction but that's not really quite true. Both are valid ancient religions with their own interpretations of multiple gods, one of whom just happened to be so inspired by the other they changed their own mythos (fascinating, that is).

To sum it all up: Roman myths are valid. Even the ones I, and you, don't personally vibe with. But I must stress that Greece and Roman had cultural differences that do, in fact, influence their own mythos.

Roman myths completely left out Cassandra's oath in their myths, something that is extremely integral to Greek society.

Greece does not equal Rome, just as Rome does not equal Greece. They are distinct with unique cultural differences (I mean. *gestures to Greek society's view on singing and dancing compared to Rome's* See what I mean?)

So I'm in agreement with you anon. Roman myths aren't fanfiction.

There are fanfics that are better written and way more respectful of Greek culture than some of the retellings I've seen though smh

As for what sources to look into? Honestly, any of the ancient texts are good places to start, but I also strongly recommend reading up on Greek and Roman culture, because it does very much influence their respective mythos!

Greek Era Sources I Recommend:

The Iliad & The Odyssey (duh. Emily Wilson's translation is good for beginners, but you'll also be missing out on some pretty awesome wordplay and turn-of-phrase. I have the Samuel Butler translation, which uses the Latin names much to my chagrin lol but I'm pretty sure I've reblogged a post discussing four others with really good translations. I'll link it when I find it.)

Theogony and Works & Days (A good overview of basically every god in Greek mythology, and hits the highlights of the mythos)

The Homeric Hymns (You want the gods' prominent myths? Look no further.)

The Oresteia (Agamemnon, The Libation Bearers, and The Eumenides are all plays written by Aeschylus. It has very good cultural aspects woven into it!)

Oedipus Rex (I have not read Sophocles's work yet, but my good moot @createandchaos has been reading it and has a whole thread on Discord yapping about it that i still have to read so it must be good! :D)

Prometheus Bound (Aeschylus returns!! haven't read it yet but i heard it has Koios mentioned in it so OBVIOUSLY i have to read it. and so must you.)

Roman Era Sources I Recommend:

The Bibliotheca/The Library of Greek Mythology (basically an encyclopedia! resource rich!)

Ovid's Metamorphoses (YES I KNOW he's like #1 'make the gods look bad' offender BUT there's political reasons behind that *glances at Augustus* plus he has some bangers. Apollo & Hyacinthus. Orpheus & Eurydice.

Hyginus's Fabulae and Hyginus's Astronomica (never read either BUT i do like some of Hyginus's stuff. still want to shake him for the Diana and Orion "only man she ever loved" take on them but digress i've beaten that dead horse before. for that shot i took at him here's some praise: i like his version of Nyctimene over Ovid's. it's nicer to Minerva.)

Avoid:

that one guy who made Acantha the fuck up do NOT trust his ass. his so-called "accurate" sources do NOT support his made-up, ENGLISH-ERA myth. (yes i have beef with him)

that one gal who had Cassandra and Helenus's prophetic abilities come from snakes licking their ears. fake news she's an american poet NOT a true source. (update here's further discussion on this PLEASE READ)

that other gal who sanitized the fuck outta greek mythology aka the gal you may know as the "persephone went willingly with hades to the underworld" gal. do not trust, keep a 100-foot pole between you and her.

that other guy who had Midas turn his daughter into gold. no such daughter existed before then.

i dunno any others but ALWAYS check when a version was written, and also check out their sources because you never know (this is how my apollo's lovers post is sooo researched i literally pdf the book if i can't find a peek of the passage i'm looking for)

feel free to add onto the post for other recommendations! oh! and if you have any good resources on Greek and/or Roman culture/philosophy/ect., feel free to drop as well! I've been pulling from my library's copy of A Day in Old Rome (I've learned a lot, and I'm not done reading it yet. warning though very obviously written by a close-minded Christian guy so take it with a grain of salt, though I've had a pretty easy time identifying the Important things in it. There's also another book on Rome at my library soooo that's next. or one of the two on Greece. we'll see lol)

[charlessmiths-wife]

CASSANDRA DIMITRESCU HEACANNONS

because nobody but me gets her. she's mine. what I say about her is correct I'm right and everyone else is wrong.

** joking, obviously. these are my own personal opinion. some of these hcs are NSFW... but none of them are too explicit ** they’re also mostly x reader

UNDER THE CUT

-> she's nowhere near as evil or sadistic as people make her out to be.

-> yes, she's a sadistic murderer, she's a Dimitrescu... after all, it's in their... blood?

-> she is the huntress of the Dimitrescu name. but that doesn't mean she hunts any and every human who gets in her way... sometimes when a maid fucks up minorly she just, yknow, moves on.

-> sure, she'll scowl and roll her eyes, making some kind of sarcastic comment about how "poor" the help has gotten - but she usually won't resort to murder over something small.

-> however, if the maidens crime is bigger OR if its been a while since her or her family have fed... then the poor maid can count on them becoming her next meal.

-> and she does find s sick sense of thrill in it, undeniably. i can't and won't try to argue with that.

-> she's incredibly protective of her family... especially Daniela.

-> many people portray Bela as being constantly worried about impressing her mother, and whilst this is true... I'd risk to say Cassandra is actually more worried about it, in a way. Canonically, Cass is the one Lady D calls upon for help in getting rid of Ethan... so I imagine she feels a lot of responsibility to defend them. when she fails to do so, this results in her becoming insecure she's let alcina down.

-> just so so SO cold to you when you first meet her 😭

-> and it’s gonna take her a while to open up properly… so if you’re lucky enough to get close enough to be even somewhat of a friend, then even at that - it’ll be a solid 6-8 business months before she even CONSIDERS properly opening up

-> but once she does, I do think she’s capable of being emotionally intelligent

-> I will say that this especially will take a while (after all, one of the cons of dating someone who murders people for sport is probably a lack of emotional maturity) but it could definitely happen

-> though only with people she cares about

-> she’d still be an asshole to everyone else (my asshole though)

-> do I think she could grow to be a good listener though? 100 fucking percent

-> LIKE JUST IMAGINING VENTING TO CASS AND HER SOFTLY HUMMING WHILST RUBBING YOUR BACK STOP

-> do I think she’s big on physical affection in general?

-> not particularly

-> like I feel like she enjoys it least out of the three sisters, with Dani enjoying it the most and Bela also growing to love it with time

-> I’d say Cass more so enjoys quiet moments of physical affection, small examples of pda such as hand holding or a kiss on the cheek she’ll tolerate, but unless she’s looking to show who you belong to, she typically won’t go for big acts of affection in public, and even at that the most she’ll usually go for is a kiss.

-> in private, she can be cuddly, but again - not as much as her sisters

-> I also do personally disagree with the idea Cassandra Dimitrescu is sex mad. I disagree with this for all the sisters, personally, but especially Cass. She enjoys it, yes- but I don’t think it’s the be all and end all for her.

-> However, she does enjoy it, and I reckon she does have some solid enough experience.

-> and trust me, once she’s spent enough time sleeping with you? I’d risk to say sex with Cassandra Dimitrescu would be so good it would be a damn near spiritual experience

-> (you just know she prioritises making her partner feel good.)

-> plus she deffo does aftercare. and I refuse to accept otherwise. She may be a murderer but she cares x