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Today I learned the name of the nice lady who runs the weigh station at the dump where I empty my shred truck. Moving up in the world
#truckin along#<- new tag for work related posts#wild to have a job that i can talk about without whatever i say being a thinly guised cry for help#drive around by myself all day? shred paper in big machine??? say hi to bored office workers who are usually happy to see me??????#$19/hr overtime allowed + insurance pending??!?? they will help pay for my cdl eventually?????? yeah alright#5 years of trial and error ft. soo many miserable jobs. finally something tolerable.......
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Anyways I now have so many feelings about odysseus and penelope wearing each other's clothes
#Odypen#epic the musical#The odyssey#It works for both so I'm tagging both#Odysseus#Penelope#Omg I know he didn't but imagine odysseus showing up to the war in /in his wifes/ clothes#Okay but post-canon none of odysseus's clothes fit him anymore so while penelope is making him new ones he#Just borrows her clothes for like the first year of being home#They both have many happy possessive feelings about this#Justifiably so#I was actually looking up Greek clothing for angst related reasons but good to get the romance out first
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aah ivy and selina,,,,, no matter how long it has been, I will always go back to drawing them at some point


#hoo BOY haven't posted in.. longer than i'd like#i have had. such a week you guys dont even know#a whole lot of work related stuff and people not covering shifts and blah blah blah idk#it was a whole thing that i wont get into here but i worked a 4-11:30pm friday and a 10am-4pm saturday it was rough#but my new art supplies arrived today :D i used my new paper and markers to make these teehee#these two ladies are so pretty...#i love them so much they are so gorge#harley is in the background with two thumbs up and an anime style nosebleed#anywhom. wild stuff#i wish i could say that i have the next page of dementophobia lined but i would be a liar#unfortunately my wrist is!! killing me!!#it felt like it was on fire when I was lining selina but i ignored it#if i get carpal tunnel i swear to god#anyways time for the real tags#hee ho ha ho im a funny lil art man#dc comics#fanart#my art#traditional art#batman#catwoman#poison ivy#gotham city sirens#selina kyle#pamela isley
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Carmen and roses
i made this to be compared with canto 6's epilogue
#carmen#lobotomy corporation#limbus company#dante#red string board#posted this on twitter few days ago forgot to put it here Will do now! im doing it!#with lunacy being dante's roses (literal) i wonder if. i wonder if carmen is dantes r....#carmenposting#imrealising i have the carmen posting tag AND trhe string board tag i gotta choose one#bloodbath isnt rose related btw shes just there cuz i noticed her similarities in language to 4hundred:)#im still working on the bigger carmen limbus powerpoint! its just been a while and im getting embarrassed at my own self#and i still havent done two fights i feel i need to do first....grah#its mostly about comparing carmen to abnormalities it was originally supposed to focus on the theory of carmen wanting or getting a new#physical body but i got carried away just pointing stuff out...
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i think i need to hug some trans women…
for science
#trans#transgender#transfem#transbian#t4t yearning#trans lesbian#t4t sapphic#despite my tags (which are just bc i think people who follow those tags will enjoy this post haha)#this is only tangentially related to t4t sapphic yearning#i’m trying to work through some things that make it really hard for me to bring myself to hug people#and make me panic when hugged#and i think in order to really work through it i need to hug a bunch of new people#but even if i don’t need to hug specifically to work through it#i want to make sure it works for hugging#and i would like to be a hugger#i’ve always liked the concept of hugging friends but felt awkward doing it
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Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────
#idk why on earth i gave baghera knuckles- when i say i turn my brain off when I draw i mean it#..... sooo looks like ive got a new wa-cats type of fandom on my hands#as in i am still very emotionally attached to the memories i have from this no matter what i do itll keep coming back#but i havent read the books in several years nor do i plan to anymore and looking back i am so angry and disgusted#but also im still blown away by the creativity and the passion the fandom builds on its own#i wanted to go ahead and finish any art that ive been working on for the past almost year and decided this one would be the most fitting#i learnt last week that only the first 20 tags on an original post will show up in tumblr searches#and I think im going to take advantage of that#because i dont want to hype the server anymore and i have decided i will no longer be adding my watermark on top of my work#and i was going to refrain from tagging it because i dont want my related posts to show up#before remembering that some of my mutuals who ive been chatting to for years now#have these fandoms blacklisted#so im going to test it and hope it works#im still going to tag the characters i love though because i wanna show support to the actors and i wish them nothing but the best#baghera fanart#pomme fanart#dapper fanart#dappleduo#my art#qsmp#mcyt#fandom neg#tag this however you want#yap yap yap yap tlddr
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wait was anyone (eg the guy doing the lecture series) going to tell me Boethius was proclaimed a saint or was I meant to learn that from Wikipedia
yea apparently I was meant to learn it from wikipedia
anyway now to the proper post that I intended to write
So I am having a quite niche problem (ok maybe it's not a problem. a question to ponder at least). So. "The consolation of philosophy". Is very cool. But Lady Philosophy has a particular vibe that … idk why but I feel a strong urge to assign this vibe to one of the Ainur, ideally one of the Valar and initially I thought Nienna, but no.
She (Philosophy) had this almost-agressive anti-despair "stop talking bs" attitude that reminds me of Gandalf. But also at some points she's like "You ask why bad things happen to good people? The answer is simple: they don't." and he would not say that. And yea, Nienna very much would not say that.
I can imagine Námo (esp with his relationship to time*) being like "No, I've never seen bad things happen to good people, you're simply mistaken" and generally going a similar route of argumentation. But I already have a strong HC for his personality. But also, it may fit together… I need to rotate it more in my brain.
(To be clear: she's not being cruel or very dismissive. There's some context. But she is being a little, how to call that, Gandalf-like. Snarky? A little bit.)
BTW I can absolutely see pre-Exile Finrod unironically claiming that suffering is an illusion etc (but in a very compassionate way) and driving his half-uncle into a rage by this.
(oh and ofc the text has soo much Númenorean vibes, I mean the Faithful in late Númenor. I'm surprised that I haven't thought of this earlier but... if we change Plato and similar guys to some Elves and change the geographical names and maaaybe some astronomical details (round earth) and make the personifications ambigiously "maybe I imagined it maybe it was a Maia" etc... without any change to the theology I can see it as a text originating in there. and I'm sure Tolkien would agree. Like… It removes exactly the right amount--- I know it was because he wanted it to make sense to the pagan Greeks--- anyway aaaargh I will simply HC it there it fits so very very well)
edit: I found the video that made me rant on the philosophers&Greeks, & probably on Boethius for choice of words. (It's in Polish)
#silm#random#i wouldn't make fun of him if someone had told me#probably#no idk why#i do make fun of some of them sometimes#like come on#that's what we have the saints for#to see people with faults working it out anyway#wait wat he did music theory too?#ok i may have a new point on my list of fave historical people#ok wait what he's *also* the guy that invented the word “person” in the theological sense which is counterintuitive#and when i learned about how this made everything confusing i made a long rant and a poster about how i hate ancient greece?#...the irony#ok sorry Boethius my guy you get a pass <3#still this isn't the most intuitive word#[sadly i lost the video explaining it‚ it was in polish anyway]#ok this all has the “plot thickens” [aff] vibe#like i'm hearing the bg music#[* tbh husband is listening to music‚ on headphones but i have good hearing]#rambling in tags#not even particularly related to the post
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#i'm tired of reblogging the other post rn ok#good news about work thing is that my bosses think very highly of me and their respect grew bc of this whole thing#bad news is i had to press them twice into considering making sure the employee knows in no uncertain terms#that their behavior was inappropriate and should never happen again#....and i get to have one more meeting about it tomorrow#if i find out the answer is 'we're gonna let this one ride' then it's to hr i go#in related more good news: i spent some time reading through scripture about what attitude i should have through all this#and it helped me put some of my emotions aside#my anxiety however is still through the roof and my body is feeling it for sure#but maybe by next week this will all be done with and i will feel like eating regularly and stuff again#ragamusings in the tags#in unrelated less good news two of my grandparents are in the hospital with covid now#that should be the foremost thing i care about rn but instead i have to process this dumb work thing#prayers appreciated for them if you would 💞💞
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https://thehockeynews.com/womens/pwhl/watch-montreals-full-pwhl-free-agent-signing-press-conference
i hope this is as new and wonderful to you as it was to me :)
#marie philip poulin handshake emoji laura stacey new line centered i'm sorry my french#pwhl montreal#marie philip poulin#laura stacey#ann renee desbiens#the hockey news dot com you are forgiven but only like 1/3#because on the one hand i did find the stacey presser but it was in a different article#at the same time i also found this free agent presser in full which i appreciate#BUT you do not upload these things to you tube#AND they are basically impossible to download through inspect element#because the website is built in such a weird way#like just use wordpress like everybody else thank you#ALSO you only tag these posts as pwhl not pwhl montreal#so i can either search by player tag and potentially miss something team related#or i can scroll through every pwhl post you've ever made from newest to oldest#unfortunately some of these are literally ripped from the pwhl website which i think is a bad practice at least write your own descriptions#of the three stars of the week#if you couldn't tell i work in marketing by all my posts complaining about the social medias i hope this seals the deal
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I am physically incapable of packing my room up at normal hours it's always 1-3am that I'm most productive I swear
#moving suuuuucks#im like starting to get anxious about it#but im trying to check in on myself and figure out what i need/what is the current stressor#im also working part time while packing and its a lot#its no wonder my brain has latched onto ffxiv so hard its always there and easy to escape into#i can ignore my stress for a little bit and visit rheaus and go water his garden and craft on the moon and fight dragons#or run usari through old storybeats i havent seen in years with all this new knowledge from end game#so many convos recontexualized its activating the part of my brain that needs to chew on a problem#ive been in this place for almost 7 years#this neighborhood for close to 10#and were moving waaaaaay out#but its okay its a goregous house#and i can live out gay lil weirdo out in the woods making crafts#my bestie is also teaching me more about tarot!!! i have a glancing understanding of it#so when i told them todays card draw was very on point#they told me about the significance of the number and element associated to the suite#which again was so on point for moving stress related things#why do my random little posts always turn into tag rambling life updates lmao#tldr; moving hard. ffxiv keeping me afloat. friend helping me understand tarot
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What do you make of the idea of Blackspace kinda fusing with Hellmari after a post-good ending Omori gave her true life, therefore making her the entire realm by technicality? Omori would do that cuz he needs something to kinda fill the void that appeared when Sunny left and he's getting desperate after not finding anything in Headspace to do that...
(woooooooooo explaining my omori au lore-)
Truthfully this is so wildly different to my idea of headspace and omori and after-good ending that i cannot make anything of this! i think that's up to u to decide
#they kinda have to coexist anyway in my head#yes they had a big ass fight abt things and sunny's headspace is kinda all crumpled once again and white space is emptier than ever#omori's still the inner 12 y o kid who is also the anxiety and escapism and so many things and he isn't going anywhere immediately#so they do have to work together and fill it w new things. make smth of it and make it comfortable again in a better way#idk we're not letting the nightmares fester#your story is yours though its just so different from mine that it feels like a string of words that i can't tie togetjher#in a way that makes sense at least#so here you know your story best#also pleas#if u wanna put smth that u made and make me see it please let it be related to me and my blog in my inbox#i WILL spit my hcs and story at u if u put unrelated things here#i don't have the responsibility to react to Your omori content that i did not sign up or ask to see!#that's almost your own post material. let me come across it in the tag when i want to see it#and if i don't it was not meant to be#its an honor to receive your omori art of mari btw if u do put it here. just make sure it's not a constant and rather an occasion#cannot publish your omocontent for you#sorry for the tag rant its offtopic from the post#i do get severe urge to ignore/delete asks that seem wholly unrelated to my blog or a fully cooked personal omori post#and not an ask to tumblr user some mari thoughts who makes art and posts hcs and shares some art sometimes#OMORI Sunny#OMORI character#Knife boi#Son boi#my doodles
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Old man yells at cloud moment, but I am exhausted by those "Being a writer/liking a character is wanting to see them in a fit of of graphic despair-" because you know to a degree I GET it and I've BEEN there, but I am actually Just tired of angst. It feels like the two genres of fanfiction overwhelmingly are either smut or angst. If fandom isn't sexual, it's catty, if it's not catty, it's sexual, and if you're really unlucky it's both in the good old circa 2010 BL Doujinshi circle "No means yes actually."
Me and my favorite characters are already going through enough as is, only for their front row of cheerleaders to be cheering for their imminent demise, actually.
Like. Being fr. It's fiction. These are fake little guys. Them sobbing in a pool of their own blood literally doesn't hurt anyone. But it does hurt ME, because my little guy is sad and now I am sad. Is there no one? No one who wishes to make life better for these fictional creatures? No writer who takes joy in making their characters happy? No one who wants mine silly little guy to smile as I do??? (I have obviously divolved into drama)
In short: I wish we were able to block specific genres of post without needing keywords like come on, it's literally gotten to the point where I've just started blocking anyone who says 'being a writer is wanting to see your favorite character suffer' because no actually I want to see them get a good night's rest for once. I want to see them happy. I want to see them experiencing warmth and bliss they weren't even sure existed. I want them covered in the blood of their enemies and reviling in their now broken chains. I want them free. Thriving. Committing acts of violence that make them feel like life is worth living.
I already go for the traumatized characters right off the bat, I DON'T want to see them WORSE, I want them to experience comfort for the first time like a top heavy newborn kitten being pet for the first time. Screaming and hissing but warm and safe.
Being real for a moment, I obviously can't stop people from posting or reblogging this genre of posts, NOR WOULD I WANT TO. I'm glad they're having fun, BUT I wish I could blacklist this genre of post.
#cat beefs with fandom again#tale as old as time#it's in part because of the feeling of ostracization and isolation in fandom#but also in large part in the annoyance of repitition#I mean come on#you've seen the post once you've seen it ten times#hundreds of thousands of people trying to get attention to their posts make the exact same 'haha writers!' joke again and again and again#if Tumblr decides to fling writing related tags at you then you'll see three of the exact same post with four different wordings#in the span of five minutes#just let it die#like you disgusting selfish 'fans' want your supposed favorite characters to do#(< mostly joking HOWEVER I must admit I am still not emotionally over alleged fans of my favorite character joking and celebrating their#death on screen to the point where I genuinely could not tell the so called fans from the literal dedicated hate squad the character had)#that and the 'this is GREAT news for my ship!' people being the literal only opinions I saw on the death of my all time favorite guy#it was either celebratory hate game or fujoshi ship fodder#as much I respect and salute my fujo sisters sometimes fandom echos to the level of 'non straight sex is good because it's hot'#and the fujo community does have the overarching tendency of turning complex characters into generic bl tropes#girl you lost me three paragraphs ago who are you talking about?? did you somehow pivot from Big Name Fandom to niche first time Doujinshi?#doujinshi being self published work- not the fanfiction doujinshi though sometimes...#I enjoy angst and shipping to a degree myself even!#I just feel like if a dedicated character hate blog would like an unironically post half of the things that you do about your alleged#''favorite character'' then Idk man maybe you might want to find a character who doesn't make you feel the need to put them through torture#I'd personaoly violate the Geneva Convention FOR my favorite character. Not ON them.
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Damn. Can't even have a day off without my supervisor texting me (and calling, after I ignored her text) asking me "do you have any availability today?"
NO. That's why I asked for this day off over TWO WEEKS AGO, you dumb bitch. The reason it pisses me off is because she never does this to any of my co-workers. Whenever they need time off, they never have to come in. When I was ill in December and had to take 2 days off work, I couldn't even rest and relax in peace without her blowing up my phone, asking me when I was coming back.
I texted back a terse, "No, I don't," and turned off my phone. This job is really beginning to piss me off. I feel like a bitch for not going in, but damn. It's not like y'all didn't know about this weeks ago. Learn how to schedule properly and plan accordingly.
Should I feel bad for saying no?
#bat.txt#the bat rants#bitching about work#<<< that's my new tag for work-related posts#if i remember to use it lol
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Notes are cool but when u start talking to me...thats worth 50 notes babey
#dont get me wrong thou its def still worthwhile seeing my shenanigans get acknowledged w likes#like oh!!! it is not dead in here thanks you for seeing me :)#i appreciate that very much#redstrewn talks#meta#not touchstarved-specific tangent in these tags. but semi-related meta stuff#naturally one would assume i prefer a chatroom like discord server bc that's convo#and of course that allows for longer back and forths#but theres a sort of...temporal lock to chats? like to reply to an old conversation no longer works since its buried by new ones#i dont get that sense with posts. at least on tumblr. i know instagram and twitter has that weird culture of “wHy arE yOu sCrOlling sO fAr#baCk mY pOsts yOu STALKER!!!“#but on tumblr its normal to get back to posts that are a little old. even maybe really old#and what happens is conversations dont get locked by time. if someone finds an old post with ideas: they can revisit it and rekindle#those ideas. and maybe continue expanding on it. a conversation gets made where it would have been lost to chats#and imo theres less of a sense of cliqueish fear. like a blog is public to everybody. whereas in a chat it might feel daunting or#intrusive to join a conversation. especially between regulars. no matter if its a public server
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2023 fujoshi wrapped
you got baited 24 times
you debated the difference between queer-coding, queerbaiting and censorship in the comments section 4 times
you revisited fanfiction for 7 hit ships from the 2000s
you got blocked 5 times for tagging paragraphs of old man yaoi ship meta on unrelated text posts
you played 585 hours of video games for a combined total of 10 minutes of gay subtext and/or sex scenes
you judged a BL manga or light novel by its cover 948 times
you told 39 friends to watch 3 gay tv shows that are 'actually really really well written and enjoyable and not just gay' and 0 of them did
#respectively: 1) my new boss is goofy. and I enjoyed it. 5 stars. would get baited relentlessly again#2) literally like. is anything queerbaiting but supernatural and maybe parts of sherlock. up for debate. anyway I still can't believe#someone called GAME OF THRONES queerbaiting. I'm still reeling from that.#3) Oh You Know.#4) I can't believe I found out paragraphs of tags annoys people. sorry for being alive on the Paragraphs of Tags blogging website I guess.#(this is because they now show up in notifications I know. I have been trying not to post like. Personal Lore as much like I used to.#trying to keep it related!!! :( sorry for annoying people... it's just how I've always blogged...)#5) disco elysium is the joke here but the hour count really. let's be real. bg3#6) I do have a pretty good accuracy rate on whether a BL is going to be good based on the front cover art alone honestly. you can just tell#7) AND THIS IS ONLY ABOUT DEADLOCH AND IWTV WHICH I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE SO MANY OF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED#do NOT get it twisted. 6) is about THOSE two shows. and also black sails eternally#kira for ts#bored at work. ama
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still putting things together over here n thinking of how to make stuff look nice but 👍 future fic updates will probably go here, Themes And Motifs posting, n ill reblog backlog things too
anyway i have started on chapter 6 it's going so far 👍 unfortunately i am ill (sick) and not going to make it (many reason) so im some kind of emotion perhaps
#when you get a preview of a thing and it live rent free in your head forever..................... what a Fuck...............................#like man. man. im going insane crazy nutso style. im not gonna make it im gonna Died#like. someone liking my work enough to Doodles for it? 😭#someone liking my work enough to attempt a [REDACTED] for it Even If they dont finish? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#like what the fuck man..... i was just out here vibing 😭 ive never had a real Response like this other than from people i already knew.....#but i guess ive never really had a real Big Project that was worth anyone's investment either? or at least one that got anywhere#its just...... waug................#n its. oug. idk im like really kinda out of it from Sick still but it just means a lot 😭 but idk how to say directly#<- the social anxieterrrrrrr + dont wanna assume + dont wanna overstep#dogs leading dogs#dld posting#i still have to establish a tagging scheme for this blog too. i think the standard DLD tag is gonna be for Everything related#and then dld posting for text posts. maybe dld update for new fics etc.? unno i havent gotten that far yet. i just want to organize things#i keep watching it n thinking of the things i have Seen............ oug................
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