#im also working part time while packing and its a lot

[birb--birb]

I am physically incapable of packing my room up at normal hours it's always 1-3am that I'm most productive I swear

[wooyoungiewritings]

Borrowed Time - Seonghwa x Reader (Part 3)

Summary: You try to be honest and tell your husband about your relationship with Seonghwa, but it doesn't quite go after plan. But you've had enough of playing nice, so you break the rules and give in to your hunger for Seonghwa. But what happens when it all comes crashing down when it's all perfect, and your husband gives you an ultimatum?

Word count: 9.8K

Genre: Fluff, Rich Seonghwa, angst, DRAMA (u might cry), slow burn, smut (YAAAALLLL THIS IS FILTHYYYYY IM SO SORRY MOM AND DAD)

warnings: Seonghwa with reader (fem pronouns), TEASINGGG omg, DOM Seonghwa, fingering, oral (fem receiving), choking, spitting, LOTS of dirtytalk, creampie, aftercare (<3), heartbreak (?), lmk if I missed anything!

PART2 PART4

This is all for fun and is not meant to represent Seonghwa in any way.

The day after the annual company dinner, you're home alone again, waiting for your husband to be home. The quiet pressing in like a weighted blanket. You’ve opened the same text thread with your husband three times, thumb hovering over a message you never send. The words feel too heavy for a screen. Too fragile to survive being read without your voice wrapped around them.

So you wait. He said he’d be home all Sunday, but there’s no sight of him.

You sit on the edge of the couch, elbows on your knees, hands twisted together in your lap. You’re picking at a hangnail, teeth digging into your bottom lip, while the clock on the wall ticks out its judgment in slow, steady seconds. Every imagined version of the conversation plays through your head, ten different openings, twelve different ways to admit you’ve been falling into something deep and real with someone else. With Seonghwa. With his boss.

But every sentence feels like a betrayal. Too guilty. Too selfish. Too bold. And too late to take back.

You don’t even hear the front door open until it bangs shut behind him with the kind of energy that says he’s already somewhere else in his head.

“Babe! Babe, I’m just grabbing a charger, and have you seen my blue striped shirt?” His voice echoes down the hallway, fast and distracted. You hear his shoes hit the floor one after the other, the thud of his bag against the wall.

You blink, your body lurching upright from the couch. “You’re home late.”

“Yeah, had to grab some things, heading over to her place,” he calls back casually, like it’s not a blade between your ribs.

You follow the sound of his voice, your bare feet quiet against the floor. Your pulse is already climbing, fast and hot in your neck. He’s in the bedroom, already yanking open drawers like it’s a routine he’s done a hundred times. Maybe he has.

His shirt’s only half buttoned, hair still damp from a rushed shower, a duffel bag hanging off one shoulder. He doesn’t even glance at you as he moves.

You stop in the doorway. Hover. “I-, can we talk for a second?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, talk while I pack,” he says, like it’s all so simple. “You always catch me at the last minute, you know that? It’s like your special skill or something.”

You watch him toss a pair of jeans into the bag, roll up a hoodie, cram it in too tight. The sleeves are sticking out. He doesn’t care.

“I have something important to say.”

“Hit me,” he says, not even looking up. “As long as it’s not about the gas bill, I paid it. And hey, guess what? Jen and Caleb broke up. You totally called that, didn’t you?”

You open your mouth, close it. “I-”

“Also,” he goes on, now moving around the room with a momentum you can’t stop, “We’re going to this wine cabin thing next weekend with her friends. Fancy place, hot tub, the works. Kinda insane. You’d hate it.” He laughs, like he hasn’t left you alone for months while you tried to convince yourself this arrangement wasn’t breaking you.

“I’ve been seeing someone,” you say, loud enough that it forces him to pause.

Only for a second. Then he zips the side pocket of his bag and straightens. “Really?” He flashes you a grin over his shoulder. “Finally! Thank God. I was starting to think you were gonna fossilize in front of that dumb dating show you like.”

Your stomach turns. “I-”

“No, seriously, I’m glad,” he says, swinging the bag onto both shoulders like the conversation is a warm-up for something more interesting. “This is the whole point, right? Open and honest. No secrets. No drama. This is growth. Proud of you.” He gives you a joking little salute. “So? Who is he? Mystery man from the supermarket? Did you fall for a barista? Actually-, don’t tell me. Keep it spicy.”

You try again. Your voice is trembling now, no matter how hard you try to sound steady. “I think you should know. It’s-”

He cuts you off, shaking his head with a fond smile. “Babe, I’m happy for you. Really. You needed this. You’ve been so... closed off. Like you forgot how to flirt. It’s good for you to feel wanted again.”

The words land like a slap. He’s still talking, but all you hear is the echo of that condescending tone. Like you’re broken. Like you’re someone he’s left behind without ever saying goodbye.

“It’s Seonghwa,” you say.

But he’s already back to packing, muttering, “Shit, where’s my charger?” as he digs through the mess on the desk. He doesn’t hear you. Or maybe he does and chooses not to react.

Your heart is pounding so loudly you can barely hear yourself breathe.

He finds the charger, tucks it into his bag, and strides over to you. Kiss your cheek like everything’s fine. Like you’re still just his wife waiting around for him to come and go.

“Maybe this means we should keep the open thing going, huh?” he says with a grin. “Not just a year. Could be a lifestyle. You know, modern love and all that.”

You can’t even speak. Your throat’s too tight, your mouth too dry. Everything inside you is screaming, but all you do is stare.

“I gotta go,” he says. “She’s waiting. I’ll be back tomorrow or the day after.”

And then he’s gone. The door closes with a click.

You don’t move.

Not right away.

You just stand there in the hallway, trembling, your chest tight with something worse than hurt, disbelief. He didn’t care. Not even a little. You gave him the opening. You handed him your honesty. And he brushed right past it like it was a grocery list.

You had waited to be fair. Waited to be honest. Made yourself wait. Made Seonghwa wait. Waited until your heart couldn’t hold back anymore. Let the tension simmer, even when it hurt. You held Seonghwa at arm’s length for this?

You don’t even realize you’ve stood there for ten whole minutes until your legs start to ache. The door’s been shut. The apartment is silent. He’s gone. Again. And you’re still holding words that no one wanted to hear.

Something in you snaps.

You tried. You tried to do this the right way. You held yourself back for months, swallowed every urge, every look, every breathless pause between you and Seonghwa. You gave your husband time. Honesty. Respect. And it meant nothing.

Your hands shake as you grab your phone. No texts. No calls. No warning.

You just type in the address and call the cab.

The ride there is a blur. The driver makes small talk; you barely nod. Your knee bounces the whole way, fingers clenching in your lap like you can hold yourself together for just a few more minutes. Your heart is loud. Your mouth dry. Your body humming like it already knows.

You need him.

You need Seonghwa.

The second the cab pulls up to his building, you’re out. You don’t even wait for the receipt. You take the stairs because the elevator’s too slow. Every step feels like shedding.

Guilt, fear, hesitation. Gone. Gone. Gone.

You’re done waiting.

You knock, hard. Then again. You don’t even know if he’s home, don’t care what time it is, don’t care if you’re supposed to be polite.

When the door swings open, he’s there.

Soft shirt, loose belted pants, hair a little messy, like you caught him mid-evening routine. There’s music playing low in the background, some warm jazz tune, and the apartment smells like ginger and something sweet.

He blinks at first, surprised, but the second he sees your face, his expression shifts. 

Gentle. Open.

“Hey,” he says, voice low and careful. “Are you-?”

You don’t let him finish.

You grab the collar of his shirt, pull him down, and kiss him like you’ve been drowning for weeks. It’s messy. Desperate. His lips part with a soft sound of surprise, and then he’s kissing you back just as hard.

Your fingers thread into his hair. His hands find your waist, steadying you, grounding you, but you don’t want to be steady. You want to fall. Into him. Onto him. Through him.

His hands find your waist, but you’re already pressing forward, and your back hits the door with a quiet thud. Your hands slide beneath his sweatshirt, nails dragging across the bare skin of his stomach. His breath shudders.

“Wait,” he murmurs, lips brushing yours. “Did you-, how did it-”

“Shut up,” you whisper, breathless, half-wild. You drag your mouth along his jaw, nip at his skin until he swallows hard. “Just fuck me. Now.”

His hands tighten at your waist. There’s a beat of stunned silence, like you just shattered whatever calm he had left.

Seonghwa’s smirk is all heat and mischief, but behind it, fire. “Yes ma’am.”

He lifts you in one fluid motion, arms firm beneath your thighs, and your breath catches as your back leaves the door. You wrap your legs around him instantly, clinging to the only thing that feels steady right now, him. His lips find yours again, hungry and claiming, as he carries you down the hall like he’s memorized the way blind.

You’re both breathing hard when the door swings open, when he walks you inside like he can’t afford to stop. And he can’t. He places you on the edge of the bed like you’re breakable, his last moment of gentleness, and your back hits the bed. He hovers over you, eyes devouring every inch of your face, your body, like he doesn’t know where to start because he wants everything at once. 

Seonghwa doesn’t speak right away. His fingers trail up your thighs, slow and rough, like he’s making up for every second he couldn’t have you like this.

You open your mouth, but all that comes out is a soft whimper when his fingers curl around your hips, tugging you closer so your thighs frame his waist. He leans in, mouth brushing your jaw as his hand slides up, fingers splaying over your throat, not squeezing, not yet, but letting you feel the pressure. The control.

His voice is hoarse when he speaks. “You have no idea what you just started.” his fingers wrap around your jaw, tilting your face up to meet his. He leans in closer until his mouth brushes your cheek, your jaw, your lips, but doesn’t kiss you. 

Not yet.

“Tell me,” he growls. “Tell me I can have you. Tell me you’re mine tonight.”

You whisper, trembling, “I’m yours. All of me.”

He lets out a sharp breath, almost a laugh, but there’s nothing soft about it. It’s dark and aching. He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, and there’s nothing sweet there now. Just heat. Possession.

His hand slides down your stomach, slow and firm, and your hips arch before he even reaches the edge of your pants.

Your thighs press tighter around him. “Please,” you whisper, already breathless.

He laughs softly, low and cruel and utterly delighted. "That’s cute. But I haven’t even started." He tilts your head back by your throat and presses his mouth to yours, hot and slow, tongue sliding in with a groan like he’s starving.

He doesn’t take you right away.

Not like you expected. Not like you begged for.

He could. God, he wants to. He’s hard already, pulsing against you through his clothes, and every brush of your thighs makes him twitch with the effort it takes to hold back. But he doesn’t move fast. He just watches you for a long moment, thumb brushing the corner of your lips.

“I should make you wait,” he murmurs, tilting his head. “After all the things you’ve done.”

You’re panting, your chest rising with every breath, but you still manage a small, confused sound. “What things?”

He smiles, slow and dark. “Coming to my home in your little dresses, teasing me when you knew I couldn’t do anything. Sitting across from me at dinner like you weren’t soaking wet under the table. You think I didn’t notice?”

You whimper.

He dips his head lower, nose trailing your throat, and inhales. “You wanted me to lose control.”

You try to speak, but his hand slides up your inner thigh and all you can do is gasp.

“You wanted me to break. To forget I’m your husband’s boss. To drag you into a room and fuck you like you were mine already.” His lips brush your ear. “Isn’t that right, my love?”

“Yes,” you whisper, almost ashamed, but you shouldn’t be. Not with the way he growls low in his throat at your answer, like your honesty just made him hungrier.

“But I didn’t,” he says. “I was good.” His eyes roam your body, and there’s heat, awe, and vengeance all at once. “Now?” His hands slide to your hips, fingers curling tight. “Now I’m not going to be good.”

His shirt is unbuttoned now, but still on. His belt is still tight around his waist. Your breath catches, lips swollen, thighs pressed together as you chase after his mouth. He chuckles darkly, dragging his eyes over you as if deciding what he’s going to do to you first.

“You’re shaking already,” he murmurs, brushing his knuckles slowly along your jaw. “What happened to the girl who liked to tease me until I couldn’t speak?”

His fingers trace the hem of your top, moving so slow it’s maddening. He drags it up, inch by inch, until your skin is on display, but he doesn’t touch. He just looks.

“Take it off for me.”

Your hands shake as you pull it over your head. His eyes never leave yours.

“Good girl.”

You shiver.

He pulls your jeans down slowly, deliberately, like every inch of exposed skin is something he needs to memorize. His fingers trail down the insides of your thighs as he goes, mouth following with kisses that are too soft, too slow, because he knows it drives you crazy.

“God, look at you,” he murmurs, almost reverent, almost. Because then he grins. Sharp. Dangerous. “So fucking pretty when you’re desperate.”

You whimper, hips tilting toward him, needing him to do something, anything, and he just tuts like you’re a misbehaving student.

“Nuh-uh.” His palms flatten against your inner thighs, pushing you down, keeping you there. “You don’t get to be greedy. Not tonight. You made me wait, sweetheart. Now it’s your turn.” He leans down slowly, lips ghosting across your skin, from the inside of your knee to your hipbone. Not kissing where you need him, not yet, just tracing. Breathing. Teasing.

And when you try to move your hips again, chasing his mouth, he just pins you harder.

“I said wait.”

The growl in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. He kisses up your stomach instead. Licks between your breasts. Sinks back to press one single kiss just above your underwear. And stops there.

He leans in close, lips barely brushing your soaked heat through the fabric.

“Say please.”

You’re wrecked already, panting, trembling. “Please.”

He smiles. “Not yet.”

Then he spits. A slow trail between your legs that soaks into the thin fabric, and finally drags his tongue up the damp center, just once.

You sob.

He grins and pushes your panties to the side. He slides a single, thick finger between your folds, and yes.

You’re soaked.

He moans softly against your skin, lips trailing lower. “Fuck-, listen to that,” he hisses, dragging his finger up and down slowly, gathering the slick. “You’re dripping for me.”

“Seonghwa,” you gasp, back arching.

He pushes the finger in. Slowly. Torturously. “You think one’s enough for you?” he asks, curling it just so. “Or are you gonna be a greedy little thing and ask for more?”

You’re already moaning his name, eyes wet, hands trembling. He adds a second finger without warning, stretching you open while his thumb circles your clit in lazy, teasing swipes.

“Every time you begged and bit your lip and walked away like a good girl, this is what I imagined,” he growls. Then his fingers leave you completely. 

His fingers withdraw slowly from your dripping heat, and he chuckles darkly when your hips lift off the bed, chasing him. “No. No, no,” he tuts, dragging his slick fingers up your stomach, up to your lips. “You don’t get to grind up against my hand like some needy little brat.”

He presses those soaked fingers into your mouth, firm and controlling. “Suck.”

You do. You’re eager, moaning around his fingers as your tongue swirls over the taste of yourself, cheeks hollowing like it’s instinct. And it is. Because you’re hungry. Starved. And he’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“God, sweetheart” he groans, his jaw tight as he watches. “You don’t even know how fucking perfect you are like this. You’re gonna ruin me.”

You know he’s teasing you. You know he’s making you wait for him to fill you up but, gosh. Somehow you never want this to end. Him touching you, tasting you, teasing you. It’s all worth it.

“Get back,” he says lowly, voice a dark command as he stands at the foot of the bed. “Hands above your head. Keep them there.”

You obey instantly. He watches you for a moment, clothed from the waist down while you're half-naked and trembling beneath his gaze.

He tosses the belt to the side with a quiet thud, then removes his shirt completely. His chest rises with each breath, toned and golden under the warm lighting, his veins prominent down his arms, jaw tight from restraint.

“You know how long I’ve wanted this?” he mutters, voice rougher now, his control thinning. “Weeks. Weeks of you crawling into my lap, whispering pretty little things, looking up at me with those eyes like you had no idea what you were doing.” He steps back between your legs. “And I didn’t touch you. Because I respected your rules. I waited.”

“But now look at you,” he murmurs, eyes dark. “Finally laid out the way I’ve wanted you. Needy, soaking, begging for me.” He starts undoing his jeans, slow and deliberate, making a show of it. 

You whimper his name, thighs instinctively rubbing together for friction.

He sees it. “Don’t,” he snaps. “Don’t move unless I tell you to.”

You freeze. He smirks.

Jeans open, he slides them down his hips, leaving only his black briefs, soaked at the tip, the outline of his cock pressed tight against the fabric. And he takes his time climbing back onto the bed, crawling over your body until he’s hovering over you.

“You want me inside you?” he whispers, voice low like a secret. “You think you’ve earned that?”

You nod quickly, lips parted. “Yes-, yes, please-”

His hand shoots out, wrapping firmly around your throat again, thumb pressing just enough to make your breath catch.

“You ready?” he asks, voice deeper, ruined. “You ready for me to fuck you like I should’ve the first night?”

“Yes, please Seonghwa-”

He cuts you off with a hard kiss, tongue claiming your mouth again. But when he pulls back, he goes to place kisses everywhere he can. Your cheeks, your jaw, your forehead, below your ear, your neck. In the midst of his dominance, he still takes time to worship you, make you feel safe. Feel loved.

“Holy fuck,” he growls. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

He kisses you all the way down your stomach. And then, finally, he slides one hand between your legs again, pushing your panties aside, and spits down on your cunt, slow and filthy, fingers immediately spreading the mess over your clit in deep, slow circles.

You cry out, body jerking, but his free hand slams down on your hip to hold you in place.

You’re a wreck. Sweat slicking your skin. Lips parted. Nails digging into the sheets as if that’s the only thing keeping you on this plane of existence.

“You want me to ruin you, my love?” he whispers, finally dragging his tongue over your clit, once, slow, cruelly gentle. “Want me to fuck you like you’ve always belonged to me?”

“Yes,” you cry, high and broken and wrecked. “Please, Seonghwa-, I’m yours, I’m yours, I swear-, just take me, take me-”

He watches you squirm beneath him, the heel of his palm rolling slow, relentless circles over your clit while his fingers just barely dip between your folds.

“You like this?” he whispers, voice like silk over gravel.

You whimper. It’s not even a yes, it’s just sound now, your body too wound up to form words.

And he knows it. His fingers are relentless but never fast, just deep, slow pressure, teasing you right up to the edge.

And then stopping.

Again.

“Seonghwa-, please-” You’re full-on begging now, thighs shaking.

He grinds his cock slowly against your skin, still clothed, letting you feel how hard he is.

Your moan cracks into a sob as his fingers slip away again, leaving you soaked, trembling, and painfully empty. And Seonghwa just smiles.

“That’s it,” he says, voice low and wrecked. “Beg like that. You’ve been making me suffer for so long, baby. Do you know how many nights I lay in bed with your taste still on my lips and my cock in my hand?”

He drags two fingers along your thigh, smearing spit and slick in slow, idle patterns.

“You'd text me goodnight like nothing happened,” he growls, eyes flicking to yours. “Pretending you didn’t grind on me till you came. Acting like I wouldn’t have ripped those panties off if I had half a chance.”

His voice is slipping now. Rougher, lower, needier.

“Look at me.”

You do. Wide-eyed. Drenched.

“Open your legs.”

You obey without thinking, and he grins. 

“Good fucking girl.”

He rises to his knees, finally shoving his briefs down and off. His cock springs free, hard, heavy, flushed at the tip. And your body arches before you even realize it, your thighs shaking at the sheer sight of him.

But still, he pauses.

Gripping his cock at the base, he strokes it slow, dragging his palm up and letting his spit drip onto the head before working it down again.

“You want this?” he says through gritted teeth. “Want me to fuck you till you forget your own name?”

You nod, breathless. “Yes-, God, yes, Seonghwa, please-”

He grabs your hips, drags you down the bed toward him. You feel the head of his cock press between your folds, finally, finally there. He rocks forward, just enough to sink in a little—

And then stops. Not even halfway.

You scream. “Seonghwa-!”

He leans down, mouth by your ear. “You’re mine.”

And then, without warning, he slams the rest of the way in.

Your cry breaks into a choked gasp, back arching hard off the bed. He’s deep, impossibly deep, and already moving, dragging out slowly, then slamming back in, harder. Again. And again.

“Is this what you’ve been teasing me for? Driving me crazy, wearing those tight little jeans, grinding on my lap, acting like you didn’t know what you were doing?”

Your words come out in broken moans. “Yes, yes-please, don’t stop-”

“Oh, baby.” His hand wraps around your throat again. “I’m not stopping.”

And he doesn’t. He fucks you like he owns you, filthy, hard, punishingly slow at times just to make you sob.

But the whole time, he’s in control.

Grinning when you beg.

Groaning when your body clenches down.

“You feel so good,” he murmurs, his voice low and full of reverence, as if he’s worshipping you even in this moment. He pulls out just enough to make you whine, only to slam back in with a force that makes you see stars. 

“Seonghwa, please… please…” you cry out, desperate for release, your voice breaking with need. “I need you-, please, don’t stop…”

Seonghwa doesn't waste another second. He moves with a kind of urgency, yet his every action is precise, deliberate. He pulls you into him again, lips crashing against yours in a deep, desperate kiss. His hands are everywhere, tracing every curve of your body like he's memorizing it, every touch stoking the flames of your need.

His hand doesn’t leave your throat as he shifts you, rough but careful, guiding you down with an edge of possessiveness that leaves you dizzy. "Turn over," he growls against your ear, voice dark, ragged. “Face down. Now.”

You obey, breath catching, and he helps you onto your stomach. His hands are everywhere, gripping your hips, dragging your body back to him, not even giving you a second to fully settle before he’s inside you again, thick, hot and unrelenting.

“He might be your husband on paper” Seonghwa murmurs, dragging his palm up your back, nails grazing your skin. “But you’re mine in every other way.”

He grinds his hips slow, purposefully, just to feel your reaction. You let out a needy sound and he chuckles darkly. His hand grabs your wrist and pins it to the mattress. Then the other. His palm presses down between your shoulder blades, holding you there as he places kisses on your back. “You don’t have to do anything. Just lie back and let me worship you like you deserve.”

He pulls out so slowly you want to scream, the stretch of him leaving you hollow, empty, until he slams back in.

“Fuck, Seonghwa-, you’re so good-”

“You like when I fuck you like this, huh? When I can't get enough of you?” he pants, voice right at your ear now, body flush to yours, pinning you down completely. Then his free hand snakes around your throat again, tight and possessive. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you gasp, the words ragged, broken, desperate.

“That’s right,” he snarls, pace shifting again, slow, torturous, dragging every inch of himself out before slamming back in. “You fucking are.”

And god, he doesn’t stop. Doesn’t let up. The sound of skin meeting skin, the slick, messy wetness of it all, it’s obscene. He’s filthy, ruthless, a man starved, and finally allowed to feast. And yet… through all the roughness, there’s something deeper, rawer.

His pace becomes more erratic, more frantic, as though he can’t hold back any longer. His hands are everywhere now, gripping, squeezing, marking. Each movement is purposeful, designed to make you feel owned, cherished, in the most deliciously painful way.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he grinds out, his voice a low rasp. Your body is trembling beneath him, your breath coming in desperate gasps, and he watches, enraptured by the way you fall apart for him, piece by piece.

You can feel your release building, so close. “Please,” you gasp, barely able to keep your eyes open. “Seonghwa… please… I’m so close.”

He chuckles, dark and low, as if he’s savoring every second of your desperation. “That’s it, that’s my girl. So good for me. Always so good for me.”

He drives into you again, deeper than before, the words setting you off completely. Your body goes rigid with the force of it, your back arching into him, every inch of you trembling.

And that’s when he finally, finally, lets go.

He pulls you into him, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist, his hand back on your throat, guiding you through your release as his own crashes over him. His grip tightens on your skin, marking you, holding you there, as if he never wants to let you go.

Your body trembles beneath him, legs weak, breath coming in stuttering waves as the final crash of pleasure still echoes through you. Seonghwa is barely holding himself together, buried deep, groaning low and broken against your skin as he spills inside you, gripping your hips like he’s anchoring himself to reality. His whole body is tense, desperate, surrendering.

But the second it’s over, the shift is immediate.

He exhales shakily and gently lowers himself down, his weight easing over you like a warm blanket. His arms come around you instantly, protective, careful, not a single trace of that merciless dominance left in his touch now. He kisses your shoulder, your back, your spine, all soft, slow, reverent. Like you're something sacred.

He eases out of you with utmost care, kissing the center of your spine before whispering, “Don’t move. I’ll be right back, my love.”

The bed shifts as he leaves, and you lie there, boneless, dazed, heart thudding against your ribs, not just from the intensity, but from the weight of the moment. This meant something. It always did.

When Seonghwa returns, his touch is impossibly tender. He kneels beside you and gently rolls you onto your back, using a warm cloth to clean you, every movement slow, soothing, reverent. Not a word is spoken, but his eyes never leave yours, and they say everything.

You reach up to touch his face, but he catches your wrist and presses a kiss to the inside of it, then your palm, then each fingertip.

“I’m sorry I was rough,” he whispers, like the thought alone tortures him.

You shake your head. “You weren’t… not in a bad way. You knew what I needed.”

His arms tighten. “Still… I want to take care of you. Let me take care of you now.”

He finishes cleaning you up and disappears for a moment again. When he returns, he climbs under the covers and pulls you into his arms, your head tucked beneath his chin, your body cradled tight against his chest. He wraps himself around you like he’s trying to protect you from the rest of the world. Like maybe if he holds you tight enough, time will stop.

“I’ll remember this,” he whispers. “All of it. Every second.”

“I will too.”

There’s silence. Soft, heavy, laced with emotion too big for words. His hands roam your back in slow, calming motions. He kisses your hair, your forehead, your cheek.

“I wanted to be good,” he says. “Wanted to respect your boundaries. Your marriage. But every time you looked at me like that... I knew I’d never be the same.”

Your chest aches. You can’t help it, you curl closer.

“I don’t know how to be without you anymore,” you confess.

His arms tighten. “Then don’t be. Even if it’s just like this. Even if we’re pretending the world doesn’t exist.”

You nod, tears stinging your eyes. You don’t let them fall. Not tonight.

Because tonight isn’t for sorrow.

It’s for his hands, gentle as they explore your skin like a prayer. It’s for his voice, low and warm, humming soft nothings into your ear. It’s for his heart, beating steady beneath your cheek, a rhythm you’ll remember long after this ends.

It’s for the way he kisses you like you’re his whole world, even if he can’t keep you.

Even if he never could.

***

It had been a month since you finally caved. A month of living in the quiet space between reality and fantasy. Of pretending that time didn’t matter, that hearts couldn’t break if you just held each other tightly enough.

You and Seonghwa had taken that idea and run with it.

You’d spent almost every free moment in his orbit—lazy mornings tangled in sheets, late-night drives just to hold hands in silence, dinners you cooked together with music playing in the background and wine glasses left forgotten. You found parts of yourself again in his arms. Laughed like you used to. Kissed like you were starving. And Seonghwa, he loved you with the patience of a man who knew he might not get to love you forever.

Neither of you said it out loud. But you both knew.

You were still married, after all. Technically. Legally. Logistically. 

And you found yourself, for the first time in a long time, wanting to go somewhere just to see someone’s face light up when you walked through the door.

That’s what led you here.

Late afternoon, just cool enough to wear a sweater, coffee cups warm in your hands as you step into Seonghwa’s office building. You haven’t told him you’re coming. You don’t want to give him a chance to say no. You just want to see him. To remind him that, even in the middle of his workday, he’s wanted. Missed. Thought about.

Of course you know the risk of seeing your husband here, but he usually leaves work before this time. The messages from your husband has grown sparse. Short check-ins about rent, reminders about trash day or Wi-Fi bills. He doesn’t ask where you were. Doesn’t seem to care. He’s always at her place, anyway.

So you stopped telling him where you were going.

You step into the elevator, heart thudding, watching the floors tick up one by one. You know which office is his.

You reach his office door and hesitate for a second, the smell of roasted beans curling up with the nerves in your chest. In one hand, the folder he forgot, left on the nightstand in the rush of morning kisses and whispered promises not to be late. In the other, two coffees from the little place you always stop at together. His favorite, made just the way he likes it.

The door to his office is cracked just slightly open. You push it gently, peeking your head inside.

He’s standing near the window, phone to his ear, one hand in his pocket as he speaks with that low, composed voice he uses when he is working. His jacket is gone, his tie loose, a few buttons undone. You watch him a second too long, how could you not?

He glances up mid-sentence and freezes when he sees you.

His eyes widen, then softens in that familiar way that always makes your stomach flip. A little stunned, then flooded with something warm and unspoken. He gives a quick, murmured goodbye into the phone, hanging up fast before taking a step toward you.

“You’re here,” he says, surprised, voice breaking into a grin. “What-”

“You forgot these,” you lift the folder. “Found them on the dresser. Figured you’d need them.”

“And I couldn’t resist bringing this,” you add, offering one of the coffees. “Because I’m incredibly generous. And also maybe I missed you.”

His laugh is soft, delighted, boyish. “You spoil me.”

“Only a little.”

Seonghwa steps forward, takes the coffee from your hand, but it’s your wrist he holds onto just a second longer than necessary, eyes lingering on your face like he can’t decide whether to speak or kiss you.

“I thought about you all day,” he murmurs, voice quieter now. “Kept thinking about this morning.”

“Me too,” you say, your tone just as soft.

His thumb strokes your wrist gently. “Close the door for me?”

The moment it clicks shut behind you, it’s like gravity pulls you straight into him. You don’t even think, your body moves on instinct, reaching for him just as he steps into you, one hand sliding to the small of your back, the other cradling your cheek as his lips find yours.

The kiss is slow, but only for a second. Then it grows deeper. Needy, familiar, warm. His mouth opens against yours like he’s trying to memorize the taste of you all over again, his hand tightening at your waist as you lean into him, letting your coffee press into his chest so your other arm could wrap around his neck.

“You should get back to work.” you whisper against his lips, breathless.

“You know how I feel when you’re playing the boss-card,” he murmurs, chasing your mouth again, lips brushing yours between words. “It’s dangerous territory.”

You giggle softly, tilting your head as he nuzzles into your neck, kissing the skin there like it was his favorite secret. His hands roam gently, still careful even as his mouth betrays just how much he has missed you.

“I shouldn’t stay long,” you whisper, not meaning a word of it.

“Then let me be quick,” he teases, breath hot against your jaw.

“You never are,” you whisper, tugging him closer.

But when he finally pulls back, there’s something lingering in his gaze. A shift. A decision.

“I’m leaving,” Seonghwa says softly.

You blink. “What?”

“I’m done for the day.” He sets his coffee aside, already reaching for his suit jacket. “I’ve been working non-stop. I miss you. Let’s get early dinner.”

Your heart flutters. “Are you sure?”

He shoots you a smile over his shoulder. “I’m the boss, remember?”

You laugh, watching him tidy a few files with one hand while he slips his watch back on with the other. Within minutes, he has everything locked down. Then he comes to you, lacing his fingers through yours like it’s second nature.

“Ready, my love?”

You nod, warmth blooming in your chest as he opens the office door.

You walk down the hall together, hand in hand, every step light and quiet like the world belongs to you both for just a little longer. But when the elevator dings, and you stand waiting for it to arrive, Seonghwa turns toward you again.

His hand slips to your waist, the other brushing your cheek as he leans in. This kiss is different. Slower, deeper, something molten in the way his mouth lingers on yours. It curls your toes, sends a hum through your chest, and leaves you dizzy.

And then…

“Y/N?”

The voice cuts through the air like glass.

You freeze.

Seonghwa’s lips are still brushing yours when your eyes fly open and see your husband standing several feet away.

He’s alone. No colleagues in sight, no buffer. Just him… and the truth he had clearly just walked in on. His gaze flickers between your face and Seonghwa’s. Down to your hands. Back to your lips. His mouth opens, but no words come out.

He clearly didn't expect this.

You step back instinctively, like space might soften the blow. “I-”

“That’s him?” he cuts in, voice sharp. “That’s who you’re seeing?”

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes. You can’t find your voice. You haven’t prepared for this, this collision of both your lives, here, now, in the open.

His eyes widens, expression laced with disbelief. “You’re dating him?” He asks again. “Jesus Christ, Y/N. My boss? You’re screwing my boss?”

“Watch your tone.” Seonghwa’s voice cut through the tension like steel. He steps forward slightly. Not aggressive, but protective. Firm.

Your husband’s eyes snap to him. “You know she’s married.”

“I do.” Seonghwa’s expression didn’t waver. “I also know she’s in an open marriage. A situation you created.”

You take a shaky breath, trying to speak, but no words come. You can’t do this here, not like this.

Seonghwa turns and sees the way you’re frozen. Hands shaking, eyes glossy, lips parted like they wants to move but can’t.

“We’re leaving,” he says simply, gently tugging your hand.

Your husband looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn't. Not as Seonghwa leads you into the elevator, wraps you under his arm protectively, and hits the button.

The doors slide shut, and just like that, you’re gone.

The door shuts behind you both with a soft click, muffled by the sheer stillness of the apartment. It should feel safe, it usually does, but now the silence only makes your thoughts louder.

You step in a few paces, drop your bag on the floor, and turn around like you don't know where to go next.

“I messed everything up,” you say in a breath, voice shaky. “I didn’t even say a word, I just stood there,- God, his face, Seonghwa, he knows.”

Your fingers tremble at your sides. You can’t stand still. The panic keeps bubbling up, sharp and sudden, and you drag a hand through your hair like that would slow your racing mind.

Seonghwa says nothing at first. He simply watches you for a moment, letting you unravel, but stays close.

“It wasn’t supposed to go like this,” you whisper. “We were careful. We-, he wasn’t even supposed to be there. What if-, what if he tells someone? What if it-”

He reaches for you before you can spiral further, large hands settling on your shoulders with calm, grounding weight. “Hey,” he says gently. “Look at me.”

You do. Barely. Your eyes are glossy, your chest rising and falling in quick bursts.

“Come here,” he murmurs, pulling you into him.

Your hands curl into the fabric of his coat without thinking. His warmth surrounds you, steady and quiet. His touch isn’t desperate, it’s reassuring. Calm.

“I know it’s a lot,” he says into your hair, rubbing a hand down your back. “But you didn’t do anything wrong. We didn’t do anything wrong. Okay?”

You say nothing, only shake your head into his chest.

“What if he doesn’t approve of this?” you whisper. “Of you. Of you being the one I’m seeing.”

His hand pauses for half a second, then resumes its slow strokes down your spine. “I don’t know.”

Your phone buzzes in your pocket.

You pull back enough to check the screen.

Husband: Can we please talk?

Seonghwa doesn’t ask questions when you read the text aloud to him, voice barely above a whisper. 

“I have to go,” you say, voice cracking slightly. “I need to talk to him.”

He nods once, the motion slow. Measured. “I know.”

You shift your weight, swallowing thickly. “I’m,-” The words tangle in your throat. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Seonghwa says gently. “This was always something you had to do.”

You step closer, eyes searching his face. “I hate that this is how it’s happening.”

“I know,” he says again, quieter this time. “But you’re not alone.”

He brushes your hair behind your ear with the softest touch, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary. His thumb grazes your cheek like he’s trying to memorize every inch of you before he lets you go.

“Do you want me to take you?” he asks, voice low and warm.

You hesitate, then nod.

You want to tell him he’s done enough, that you shouldn’t drag him deeper into this, but you can’t. Because a part of you wants that last moment. Wants to feel him close before you walk back into the house you’ve been slowly drifting away from.

The ride is quiet, headlights casting golden stripes across your face as the city rolls by. You feel like your heart is caged behind your ribs, thrashing to get out.

Seonghwa’s hand rests near the gearshift, close enough to touch. And for a moment, it brushes yours. Not by accident. His pinky hooks lightly with yours, just enough to say I’m here.

You don’t speak the rest of the way. But somehow, you feel everything. When the house comes into view, your breath catches. The porch light is on. His car is in the driveway.

Seonghwa pulls up without a word, letting the engine hum quietly as you sit frozen in place.

“You want me to stay here?” he asks gently, breaking the silence.

You look at him, hesitating for a moment. “I think I’m okay.”

“Good” he says, offering you the faintest smile, soft and sad and full of love he won’t say out loud. “But if you need me, I’ll be back before you can even unlock your phone. Okay?”

Your throat tightens. You can only nod.

Then, without thinking, you lean across the console and press your lips to his. Brief, but full of every unspoken thing between you. It’s not goodbye. It can’t be. Not yet.

You pull back, and he’s still looking at you like you’re the only reason he knows how to breathe.

“Go,” he murmurs, voice tender. “Do what you have to do.”

You step out into the fading light, the front door looming ahead, your heart thudding with every step. As you reach the front door, you look back as Seonghwa one last time before entering your home. The home you’ve shared with your husband of 8 years. The door closes behind you and there he is.

Your husband is standing there. Hands in his pockets. Face unreadable.

But his eyes, his eyes were full of questions.

You stand in the hallway, your fingers still curled around the handle, your heart pounding so hard it almost drowns out the silence.

You don’t know what to expect. An argument, questions, maybe even cold indifference. But what you don’t expect is him suddenly kneeling to the ground, helpless, in the middle of the floor, shoulders slumped, hands clasped like he doesn’t even know how else to hold himself. It’s like he’s unraveling right there, like pride means nothing anymore.

You stare, stunned.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, more breath than sound. “For everything.”

Your throat tightens. You don’t know if it’s anger or sadness, or the crushing weight of what this moment might mean.

“I never should’ve asked for an open marriage,” he continues. “It was stupid. So fucking stupid. I-, I thought I wanted space. I thought maybe we could be happier that way, that I was giving us a better chance by letting things feel… open.”

His voice cracks. He lifts his gaze and it guts you.

“When I saw you with him today and I-” His breath shudders. “I didn’t know it would be him,”

He shifts forward slightly on his knees, reaching out like he wants to touch your hand but doesn’t dare.

“Please,” he whispers. “Let me try again. I’ll end things with her. I’ll be the husband I should’ve been. I’ll do anything. Just don’t walk away from me.”

And god, part of you wants to fall into his arms. He’s your husband. The man you’ve loved for 8 years. The one who now looks more broken than you’ve ever seen him.

But another part of you aches for what this means.

Because Seonghwa’s face flashes in your mind. His voice. His touch. The way he looks at you like you hung the stars, like he’s trying to memorize every second you give him because he knows you were never his to keep.

Your husband is still kneeling. Still waiting. Desperate. Tear-streaked.

You bite your lip so hard it hurts.

“I…” you begin, voice trembling. “I need time. Time to think”

A pause. Then a small nod from him, like he’s afraid to ask for anything more.

But in your chest, something stirs. Something terrifying.

Because no matter what you choose… someone’s heart is going to break.

And maybe it’ll be your own.

***

The house feels hollow. The evening's darkness is casting over your house like the feelings inside of you.

Your husband is still asleep on the couch. Or maybe he’s just pretending. You don’t ask.

You didn’t sleep. Not really. Just laid there in your bed, the one that used to be yours and his, but also once, without your permission, became hers too. The silence between you and him was unbearable. He offered the bedroom like it was a gesture of goodwill.

Your chest still feels tight as you stand in the hallway now, jacket in hand, shoes barely laced. You write a note. Nothing dramatic. Just I need some air. I’ll be back later.

You don’t know when “later” is. You just know where you need to be.

Seonghwa opens the door before you even knock. It’s like he knew.

You’re met with the smell of tea, the warmth of his apartment, and his eyes, dark with concern.

“Hey,” he says softly, voice like a balm. “You okay?”

You nod once.

Then your lip trembles.

And he knows.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he murmurs, stepping forward just as your breath hitches.

You try to stay composed. You really do. But then his arms are around you, pulling you into his chest, and the weight of everything presses down so hard it feels like your knees might give out.

You collapse into him, arms locked around his waist, fingers fisting into the back of his shirt. His hand cups the back of your head, the other smoothing down your spine.

“I-I tried to be strong,” you manage, voice thick. “I wanted to be okay, but he-, he was on his knees, Seonghwa. He begged me.”

You feel him tense slightly, but he says nothing. Just holds you tighter.

“He said he’d end things with her. That he made a mistake. That I’m still his wife and he wants me back and-” You pull back just enough to look at Seonghwa, eyes glassy, voice cracking. “And I wanted to feel good hearing it. I did. But all I could think about was you.”

Something flickers in his gaze. Hope, maybe. Pain too. But he doesn’t speak. He just listens.

You sniff, trying to hold yourself together. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair to you. I know I’m hurting you by not knowing what I want and I hate it-”

“Hey,” he cuts in gently, thumb brushing beneath your eye. “Stop. I told you, I don’t want anything from you that hurts you to give.”

“But you-”

“I want you,” he says simply. “In whatever way you can give me. Even if that means just this. Being here, telling me what you’re feeling.”

Your throat tightens again, but this time it’s not just from sadness. It’s because of how safe you feel with him. How seen. How loved, even if he’s never said the words. You press your forehead to his chest and he just sways you gently in his arms, fingers tracing slow patterns along your back.

“I’m so lost, Seonghwa.” you whisper.

He exhales against your hair. “Then stay here. Just for a little while.”

And god, you’re tired of choosing. Tired of being torn.

But as his hand slips into yours and he leads you to the couch, pulling a blanket over your legs, tucking you in close like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever held, you know this much:

This man… this love… is real.

You don’t remember when the tears stopped. Or what time it is. Or how long you’ve been sitting here. The two of you sit curled into his couch like you’ve done so many times before. But this time, everything feels sharper. He’s cradling you with a kind of care that’s almost reverent, your legs stretched across his lap, your face tucked beneath his chin. You can hear his heart beneath your ear, slow and steady. He hasn’t moved since you sat down. He doesn't dare to.

His fingers are laced with yours, your thumb tracing a trembling path over the back of his hand. The blanket wrapped around your bodies makes it feel like the world outside has stopped. Like you're suspended in a fragile little moment where time can’t touch you. And yet... you know it will.

It’s you who speaks first. Your voice is hushed, barely more than breath. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Seonghwa sighs gently through his nose, resting his chin on top of your head.

“I know,” he says. Just two words. No judgment. No bitterness. Just a quiet truth, laced with understanding.

You shift slightly so you can see his face, and he’s already looking at you, those dark eyes as warm and soft as ever, even now. You can see it in them: how much he adores you. How much this is killing him.

But you also see something else. A kind of resolve. One that terrifies you.

He brings your hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to your knuckles. Then another. Then he just lingers there, lips resting against your skin like he’s memorizing the shape of you. Like he knows this might be the last time.

And then, barely above a whisper, he says it.

“You should go back to him.”

The words slice through the quiet like ice water, and you freeze.

“What?”

He doesn’t meet your eyes at first. He’s staring down at your joined hands like it’s the only way he’ll get through this.

“You’re married.” he says slowly. “And he’s... trying. Maybe it’s too late, maybe it’s not. And I see you struggling to choose. I see it all over you.“

You swallow thickly, your chest cracking open.

His hand tightens just slightly around yours. “I don’t want you to look back one day and wonder if you made the wrong choice. If you left too soon. If I was just an escape.” 

Your hearts drops.

“So let me make it for you,” he whispers, finally meeting your eyes. “Let me be the one who walks away. Let me be the bad guy, if that’s what it takes. Because I’d rather be the one who lets go than make you carry the guilt of choosing.”

You pull your hand from his, suddenly feeling cold. “Are you trying to push me away?”

“No.” His voice cracks, and it breaks everything inside you. “I’m trying to let you go before it hurts you more to stay.”

You hate how reasonable he sounds. You hate how selfless he is. You hate that he means it.

You shake your head, desperate. “Seonghwa, please-”

He smiles, but it’s the kind of smile that feels like the beginning of a goodbye.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he murmurs. “I wasn’t supposed to be more than a brief chapter in your life. And I was okay with that. I was. Because even if I couldn’t be forever, I still got you shortly. And I would do it all again, even knowing it would end.”

His voice cracks. But he keeps going.

Your throat burns. Your vision blurs.

“I let myself dream about it, you know,” he says softly, an empty laugh escaping his lips. “About what it would’ve been like if you met me first. If there wasn’t already a ring on your finger. But I know this isn’t about what I want. It never was.”

He brings your hand to his lips again, presses a trembling kiss to your fingers.

“So go back to him,” he murmurs. “You deserve a chance to fix what you had. To see if there’s still love waiting for you there. And if there is… don’t look back. Don’t wonder. Just go.”

You finally whisper, “But why-”

“Because I love you,” he says, cutting through everything.

It’s the first time he’s said it.

The first time you’ve heard it.

His voice wavers, just a little, but he doesn’t look away.

“I love you,” he says again, softer. “And I know I’m being incredibly selfish by saying that to you right now, because I don’t wanna make things harder for you. But I do. I didn't want to confuse you, or make you feel like you owed me anything. But I need you to know.”

His eyes shine, but he’s still holding it together. Just barely.

“I love you,” He leans his forehead gently against yours. “And I would give anything to be the one you stay with. But if I really love you… then I have to do what’s best for you. Even if it breaks me.”

Tears prick at your eyes, sharp and sudden. He gives you a faint smile, and it’s the saddest thing you’ve ever seen. 

“Why does this feel like punishment?” your voice cracks.

His eyes soften even more, somehow. “Because loving someone you can’t keep always does.” his thumb drags over your cheek, removing a tear from your eye.

And the silence that follows is unbearable. A crushing, yawning void between your heart and his. You want to scream. You want to run. You want to disappear into his arms and never have to come back to the reality that waits for you outside this room.

You want a world where you don’t have to choose.

But that world doesn’t exist.

Not for you.

Not for him.

“I don’t know if I can say goodbye to you,” you whisper, barely audible.

“Then don’t,” he murmurs. “Not yet.”

His hand lingers on your cheek like it’s memorizing every line. Every softness. Every trace of the life you almost had.

And then, without a word, because words don’t work anymore, you lean in.

And so does he.

Your lips meet in the quietest, saddest kiss of your life.

His lips move like he’s trying to tell you everything one last time. Like he’s writing all his unsaid I love yous into your skin. Like this moment has to hold every second he’ll never get.

You fall into him, legs curled up tighter, arms around his neck like a lifeline. His fingers thread into your hair as if he can anchor you there, just a little longer. Like maybe if he kisses you softly enough, sweetly enough, the universe will change its mind.

But the universe doesn’t.

And he knows it.

And when you finally pull back, just enough to look at him. He’s crying, quietly.

Still holding your face like you’re something precious.

Still loving you as you let him go.

“I’ll never stop loving you,” he says, barely audible. “Even when you forget the sound of my voice. Even when he holds your hand. When he gets to fall asleep next to you. When your life goes on…”

Your breath shatters.

You’re sobbing now, silently. Your chest aches. Your whole body aches.

He presses the softest kiss to your cheek, your jaw, your forehead, like he’s saying goodbye to every part of you, one last time.

“I hope he knows,” Seonghwa whispers, voice broken. “I hope he knows he gets to keep the heart I would’ve spent my whole life protecting.”

He doesn’t say anything else.

He just lets you go.

Because he loves you too much to make you choose.

And that’s what real heartbreak sounds like.

Silence.

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[mrsjavierpena]

not (un)expected | part 1

javier peña x f!secretary!reader

summary: Javier has one, only one very strict policy: to not ever fuck a co-worker; specially if that co-worker is his own secretary. but you make it such a hard promise to keep

chapter warnings: narcos' spoilers, smut, grinding, unprotected p in v, kind of exhibitionism, (light?) angst, a lot of cursing (its javier pena), kinda slow burn/slow start, unspecified age gap, work dynamics, reader has no name/descripition (but has hair long enough to pull), no use of 'y/n'

IMPORTANT: English is not my first language, i've done my best with grammar but there will be mistakes (fuck prepositions i hate them), so pls overlook those

wordcount: 7k

an: this is part one of a two part story; feel free to reblog and leave your comment. im so happy with the reception of this fic, its my first time posting something here, thank you guys so much for the support - also, if you want to be tagged in part two (really don't know when is coming out) just lmk in the comments.

hope you enjoy!

Javier was known for being an asshole.

Everyone in the office called him that; not to his face, of course, since he was the boss, but he knew, and honestly? He kind of did it on purpose. Being sent back to Colombia to be the CIA puppy didn't in fact thrilled him, but he also wasn't there to make friends. A little bit later than one month into his new position and Javier had already changed secretaries twice. Just by being himself.

The first one was a kind old lady that liked to talk a little bit too much for Javi's taste - which was none. To be fair, he tried to handle her. He listened to her talking of her yougest child finishing college, but she asked him if maybe he could get him a job at the deparment - what in the actual fuck? -, she felt the need to tell him that her older one and his wife were trying to have a baby - he wondered what gave her the impression he wanted to know that her son was fucking someone raw. She just wouldn't shut up. She left not much after a month, at his first snap - took him too long, to be honest.

The last one was a young man fresh out of the academy, who thanked him for the opportunity every time he saw him - which, since he was just outside his office, was pretty often. Despite how thankful he was for the job, he wasn't very interested in working, at least not as he was to flirting with another secretary in the floor below. But that wasn't the worst part, the kid had no idea what he was supposed to do and would go ask Javier for help for every task given to him - he swore he was shaking everytime. Javi didn't care that he was young and was learning, he didn't receive enough to raise a child at work. Didn't last a week.

Javier had headaches just by the thought of who would be sent next. With his current luck, it could be his ex-fiancée. He definitely didn't expect you knocking on his office door and introducing yourself as his new secretary. He was speechless for a moment; you were the combo of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life with a killing black pencil skirt, so tight it showed all your curves. You gave him a firm handshake and asked if he needed anything from you, and, when he denied, that was it. You went to your desk; didn't ask him questions, didn't tell him your whole life, didn't thank him for an opportunity he didn't give you, just went to do your work.

For a while, Javier was glad that you didn't give him any trouble, but that was until you quickly learned his habits. As soon as he arrived the office, you would receive him with a polite smile, a cup of black coffee and his schedule for the day. When he dove into files and forgot he was a person, you would bring him his lunch and wouldn't leave until he had at least a bite - as if he was a kid, what an absurd -, you would sense when he was stressed and would excuse yourself into his office with coffee and a pack of cigarettes and leave without saying a word.

He hated how much he appreciated that - even worse, how he liked that. It didn't take long for him to want to fuck you, to become obssessed with you. And it wasn't just him, he could see every other men in the department - single or not - turn their neck as they watched you pass by. But it was not just that you were hot, you were nice too; he would watch you from his office - not in a creepy way, though, he just didn't have anything much better to do - and you would distribute smiles and polite greetings to every soul that passed your desk, people would constantly stop by to small talk with you and you would let them be for five minutes or so before politely dismiss them to go back to work. Every fucking body there adored you.

Things had always been very professional between you both. Javi held back his flirty instinct and you- well, you didn't even seem interested in him at all. That was untill a very stressfull friday with Stechner giving him shit again. He left the building straigh to the bar, ready to drown himself on whiskey and find a quick fuck for the night, not expecting at all to find you aparently doing the same. Javier considered just ignoring you and go sitting with one of the women that turned their heads in his direction as soon as he entered, but something inside of him made him take the few steps to the bar and get the stool beside where you sat.

You almost spilled your drink when he approached.

"Sorry" you coughed "Wasn't expecting to see you here"

Your body language told him that you weren't comfortable with him there, he saw your backs getting as straight as when you were at work, and immediately regretted joining you.

"Well, that makes it two of us" he raised his hand to order his drink "What's the occasion?" he points to your drink with his chin.

Your grip on your glass seemed to tighten and you took one very long sip before answering dryly "I could ask you the same"

"Work" he raised his brows "It's always work"

"Did something happen after I left?" you pinched your brows.

"No, no, just people giving me shit"

"Oh, I see..." you sighed and silence fell between you.

"So..."

"Well..." you both started talking together and laughed akwardly.

"You go" you said.

"Am I bothering you? Cause I didn't mean to, I can sit somewhere else" he didn't even know why he was asking, he should've just said goodbye and left. He was already standing when your hand found his arm.

You sighed heavily "No, not at all, I'm sorry I gave that impression, sir" you seemed genuine, that's why he sat back "I'm just stressed"

Sir. Why were you calling him sir in a bar?

"Do you want to talk about it? If there's something bothering you we can discuss it and sol-"

"It's not work related" you were quick to interrupt "Work is, honestly, the simplest part of my life right now"

"Things must be pretty bad then, 'cause I see the amount of papers on your desk everyday" that made you chucke "The offer still stands, if you want to"

You took a big breath before dropping the bomb "Broke up with my boyfriend"

Now that was a new territory. He knew absolutly nothing about your life besides you moving to Colombia from the United States; he didn't know anything from your life back there, not your family, friends, definitely not about your boyfriend; and now, somehow, knowing you didn't have one anymore made it even harder for him not to want you.

"What happened?"

"Well, actually, it seems like we had already broken up a while ago and he just forgot to send the memo" you drank your whole half glass all at once ", since he was fucking every pussy that crossed his fucking way"

He was stunned. One thing about Javier was that he was never to deny any woman; honestly, he found every body attractive and apreciatted every woman that gave herself to him. He couldn't say he had a type, but you, with what he saw with your clothes on? He would fuck you every minute of everyday he could. It was absurd to believe someone would give up on you.

"Damn!" he couldn't help but say loudly, making your eyes go wide as if just then realising what you had just said.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. I apologise, sir"

"You don't- don't apologise" he almost raised his hand to touch you, but stopped himself before "How did you find out?" you looked at him with raised brows "If you don't mind me asking"

"One of my friends called me last night and told me. She saw him at a bar with two women" you laughed, but there was no humor to be found.

"And you were still smiling at everyone at work today" he was impressed.

You smirked at him "Don't let my personal life mix with work, sir"

"Smart woman" he nods "We for sure have a reason to drink, then" waving his hand to the barman "Let me buy you one"

You don't even bother to refuse.

After three more glasses of what he found out was tequila, your shoulders were much more relaxed and so was your tongue. He found out that you and your ex had been dating for six years when you got the opportunity of job and had to move; two months had passed already.

"And you know what the worst part is?" your laugh is dry "I don't even feel bad because my heart is broken or any shit like that, it's just that is so fucking humiliating" you groaned with your hands on your face "I'm from a small town, you know, by now every soul there knows what he's been doing"

He had to laugh "That's what you're worried about?" you looked at him with false ofense.

"It's my honor we're talking about here!" he laughed even more "It's silly, I know..." you sigh shakly as you take another sip of your drink "But it is humbiling, being cheated on"

"I can't fucking believe anyone could ever cheat on you" he thought. At least he thought he did, but by the way you were looking at him - pinched brows and a curious look in your face, he had to have said it out loud "I mean, only shitty people cheat on nice people. Only shitty people cheat, that's it."

You nodded after a few seconds of silence "You're right, sir"

"You should stop calling me sir"

"I don't think so"

"Why not? We're already half drunk together at a shitty bar"

"Because you're still my boss"

Without any response to that, he looks at you. Really looks at you. Your eyes glassy from the alcohol, red puffy lips looking more appealing than ever... It would have been so easy to just lean in and kiss you. When his eyes came back to yours, it almost seemed like they were on his lips too, that you were leaning in too, that you desired him as much as he desired you and... Then it was not there anymore. Suddenly, you seemed farther than ever, backs as streight as always and eyes avoiding his.

"I should go home"

He agreed. He put you on a cab. He wished you a goodnight.

Then went back to the bar to find someone to not spend the night alone.

The next Monday, though, you seemed even more professional than ever. Wouldn't be around him more than the necessary, wouldn't look him in the eyes and it fucking bothered him.

"Yes, sir?" you entered his office after he called your name.

He sighs as he looked you up and down, his eyes lingering to your skirt pressing against your tights "How are you?"

"I'm fine" you hesitated "Why do you ask? Is something wrong?"

"Lying to me, 's all" your eyes went wide "Listen, last night-"

Your nostrils flared, your hands clenching into fists; you took a deep breath before interrupting him "I am fine"

"Ok, then" he raised his hands in defensiveness "It's just that last night-"

"Last night I was drunk!" you passed your hands through your face "I said things I shouldn't have and I am embarressed and would very much appreciate if we pretended that it never happened"

Javier was silent for a moment. He understandood your apprehension, but damn if he wasn't dismayed by it.

"Alright, 'm sorry I brought it up. But just to let you know, you don't have anything to be embarressed for, you have my word that I wouldn't hold any if that against you and..." and it was nice to talk to you "Yeah, don't worry about that"

You looked at him for a few seconds before nodding "You need anything else, sir?"

Many things, yeah. For starters, you calling him by his name; second, being able to have a casual conversation with you when alcohol isn't envolved and third, your fucking clothes off because he got embarrassingly hard just by looking at you. But instead, he only denied and you left before any other word could leave his mouth.

Javi knew it was for the best. Fucking you would be no good - well, he'd bet it would be hot as shit, but too much trouble for a one night stand. He had a whole city to fool around with, to be focused in someone from his work place, his own secretary, was nonsense. You never even gave him any hint you wanted him, if anything, the actual opposite; you told him yourself last night, personal life away from work.

Javi made sure to remember all that.

➫

He didn't keep those thoughts for long, though.

A few days later, you met at a bar once again. A better one this time and with half of the office joined. It was Feistl's birthday and he invited the whole department for drinks. Nobody could hide their surprise when Javi aproached them; usually, he wouldn't attend this type of gathering, in his rarely free times, he better prefered the company of a good whiskey and a woman, and his colleagues knew that. His employee had invited him just to be polite and that was clear, but he knew you were going to be there, Javi just wanted one more opportunity to prove to himself that you didn't feel the same way he did, that he didn't have the same effect on you that you had on him. Once that prooved, he could move on. So he was there on a mission, trying to be the most discrete he could as he watched you from afar.

The two of you seemed to be the reflexion of each other from across the table, tense bodies and drinks in hand, the only difference being you talking with your colleagues and him not making the effort. To his defense, people weren't trying to talk to him either. Honestly, Javier kind of felt like it wasn't just that they were surprised to see him there, it felt like they didn't want him there at all by some looks he was receiving.

He was okay with that, he guessed, he would much rather analyse your behavior outside work. You didn't seem to change much, honestly; maybe your smile were a little bit more genuine, but the conversations were pretty much the same he heard you have back in the office and it could have been the larger amount of alcohol in your system that night, yeah, but you seemed more relaxed alone with him.

After half an hour there, Javi couldn't bring himself to talk to you, you seemed too interested in a conversation about the new coffee pot in the scullery with another secretary. He was getting frustrated, in another times he would interrupt the other woman and flirt with you effortlessly; it probably had to do with the environment, you were surronded by co-workers, or maybe he was losing his touch - it was almost like he was too afraid to make the move.

Javi decided to leave soon after one hour there. He congratulated Feistl for his birthday, said goodbye to whoever recognized his leaving, paid his bill and passed through the door.

"Hey" he turned around at the sound of your voice, seeing you walking towards him "Are you ok?"

He ran his hand over his chin "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know" you shrugged "you kind of ran out of the bar"

"'S fine, you should go back inside" Javi pointed at the entrace with his chin.

You tilt your head to the side "I don't really believe you"

"I'm not asking you to" he crossed his arms "And, what, you wanna talk now? You've been quiet at work all week"

"We're not at work, though, are we?" you were quick to answer.

Javi looked you up and down "No, we're not"

"You know" you took a few steps forward ", it's not like they don't like you, they are just kind of scared of you"

Were you watching him too? Why would you say that? How would you notice?

He furrowed his eyebrows "Scared of me? Why?"

You looked at him with yours raised "You know how you act at work, don't you?"

Javi sighed and looked away. He did act like an asshole at work, it didn't seem to bother you, though. Your gazes met again as silence fell between the two of you and he decided to take the few steps left to get you as close as you never got before.

"Are you scared of me?"

You kept your eyes locked as you answered "No. You're not as bad as you think you are" you licked your lips "At least not with me"

The air thickend between the two of you, the only sound being the noises of a night in Colombia. There was no way you were not feeling that too, the way your bodies seemed to linger to each other's direction. He's sure he's not imagining the way your breath heaved, how your chest expansed, the brightness in your eyes.

No, that was real, he was not mistaking it.

A voice broke the tension, you taking a few steps back to a safe distant from him. You both looked in the direction of the sound: a woman was calling you, the same woman you talked all night, at the entrance of the bar, a few feet away from where the both of you stood.

"Maybe if you went back there and paid the next round..." he swore he saw expectancy in your eyes.

"Maybe another time" you nodded; you both knew it wouldn't happen.

You looked at him one last time before walking away "Good night, sir"

Javi nodded even though you weren't looking anymore and his eyes followed the sweet swing of your hips as you made your way back to the bar. He could hear the woman asking what it was about:

"Nothing" you answered.

He would disagree.

➫

Javier was in a terrible, terrible mood. Things weren't going how he thought they would go, not even close to it. Feistl got a good lead about the Rodriguez brothers, one worth following, and he could do nothing about it; had to look to his subordinate and say no to his face. In the beggining, Javi had plans on reediming himself by catching Los Pepes, making amends with the city and it's people by arresting those who he felt like helped to ascend. He felt like a failure, and by the look on Feistl face, he thought so too. To worsen everything, as if it could get any, he had a huge, massive amount of piles to go through.

He lifted his eyes from the paper for the first time in hours when you knocked at the door. He knew your shift had ended a couple of hours ago, but you decided to finish the paperwork of the day so it wouldn't affect his own work the next morning, even though you couldn't have finished it on time because of the extra work put over you. It was something he frequently saw you doing, leaving much later than the others.

"I am leaving, sir. Is there something I could do for you?"

He scratched his chin and sighed heavily "Well, if you could make this fucking paperwork disappear I would built a statue of you"

You exiled a short laugh "I'm afraid that's not possible, sir"

"No, it's not" he reclined on his chair and looked at your body on the frame for a few seconds "Have a goodnight"

You nodded and left. He stood up to get a drink right after, hearing some noises outside that must have been you grabing your stuff. You were probably the last person on the floor besides him, and soon enough he would be alone, like he had been for so many nights, working until late, only able to go home to shower and come back. It wasn't much trouble, though, it's not like he could sleep even if he had the time.

A soft knock on the door surprised him, glass and bottle on each hand.

"Sorry to bother again" you said with only your head in the room after he told you to come in "But do you want help?"

He looked at you, at the pile and then at you again "You wanna help me with that?" you nodded "Why?"

"Nothing better to do" you shruged.

He should've said no. Should've told you to go home and have some rest.

He should have, yes.

"Have a sit" he pointed to the couch with the piles of papers he's been on for the last three hours.

You closed the door behind you and something on his skin tingled. You had never been this alone.

"Want a drink?" you didn't hesitate in accepting, as if waiting for him to offer.

Javier poured you one too and handed you the glass, something you thanked him for as you took a sip and he sitted beside you. You two stayed in silence reading, the only sound being the papers as you tossed them around.

"Can I give you an unasked opinion, sir?"

He almost laughed at that "Go ahead"

"You're separating these by topics, I see" he nodded "Taking one paper at the time and seeing what they are and then doing them separetly " he nodded again "I think it would be quicker if we made piles by the specific topics you have"

"You mean..."

"I mean" suddenly you stood up from the couch and knelt on the floor. Fortunally you didn't see his eyes going wide as you took a pile in your hands and put it beside you "You have a huge office, you should put the files on display and organize them better" you looked at him while taking the other piles "You helping?"

He smirked and hushed to help you. He liked this side of you; more relaxed, kind of bossy, tongue more loose... It was a shame you only showed him when there was alcohol running through your system.

"This, if you don't mind me saying, is how I organize the piles on your desk when I bring them to you, but you seem to prefer the hardest way"

Fuck, he was getting hard.

It was nuts. Absolutly nuts. What the fuck was happening, what effect was that you had on him? You did nothing but say a few dirty words without intention. Completely. Nuts.

"I do prefer the hard way" came out of his mouth before he could control it. If you didn't notice the double meaning or chose to ignore it, he didn't know "But I never noticed, no" he sighed "Honestly, I don't even know how it got to this point"

The paperwork, somehow, did accumulate, even though all he did of his life was working.

"I understand, I can see how you get lost in work" your focus was on the papers and you didn't seem to notice how he shifted on his place on the floor, trying to hide the beggining of an erection.

With your efficiency and new way of working, one hour and a half later and almost the whole paperwork gone, you're on your third glass and him on his fourth. He's used to drinking whiskey, but it was still alcohol, and it was making his skin buzz. You had already took off your blazer - his own gone hours ago - , wearing a thin blouse with a very modest neckline; your legs were crossed, making your skirt move up a little, and he was going crazy with just the tiny amount of skin you were showing.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead" you didn't even move your eyes from the paper.

"Why didn't you go home?"

You don't talk for a few seconds and he took the opportunity to stare "There's nothing waiting for me at home"

That got him thinking about your moving there. To go from a small town in the countryside to a city like Bogotá, not knowing a soul; you had acquaintances, yes, but he saw you that day at the bar, they surely were people you liked to be with, but were not friends of yours. Javi had been there, too, actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was still in the same situation. When he moved to Medellín, he had those people he could go out with and grab a drink after work, but that was all; at least until Steve came into the picture, the person he never thought he would befriend with, the only real friend he'd had in years.

"Yeah, I kind of get that" your eyes meet "Work until late for a reason"

"I guess we both need to get a life, then" you smirked.

"Cheers to that" he raised his glass to you, you did the same until it clicked with his "So, life... How is yours going?" he tried to act nonchalant by moving his eyes on the paper in his hand "With that ex-boyfriend thing and all"

Your laugh was low "Don't do that"

"Do what?" he raised his eyes again to find yours still on him.

You tilted your head to the side "Don't go down that road when we're like this"

"Like what?" he caught the exact moment your eyes fell to his lips, so he casually wet them with his tongue. If he wasn't so absorbed by the thickness in the air, he would have laughed at the way your eyes shut and your head fell back to rest on the couch.

"Drunk and... Not thinking straight"

Javi raised his eyebrows "I like the winding thoughts I'm having, though"

"Yeah" the look you gave him made him shiver.

Without breaking eye contact, Javi belted down his drink to gain courage and slowly moved his body until you were pressed side by side, giving you time to get your space again if you wanted to.

"This fine?" his voice was barely louder than a whisper.

You nodded.

"What if I wanted to kiss you right now?" he rested one forearm on the couch to lean his face closer to yours.

You gulped as you stared into his eyes "Then I think you should do it before we-"

He didn't give you the time to finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. Your lips were soft, he could taste the whiskey on your tongue as well with the gums you would chew all day. His right hand went straight to your jawline to lead the kiss. It was not a lulled kiss, neither a gentle one, Javier was ruthless, taking out on your lips all the built up tension from the last few months. He couldn't believe it was finally happening. You were quick to follow his pace, your fingers grasping his shirt and pulling him even closer. The first moan you let out get Javi even more eagered, his hand passing down your body to grab your ass. You took advantage of his action and, before he knew, you were climbing up his lap, knees on each side of his torso, and once you were fully sitted on his lap, you both couldn't contain a moan. At that point, your skirt barely covered half your ass; because of that, he figured that you wouldn't mind his hands slowly rubbing up your tights until they reached the fabric and rolled it up your waist.

Javi parted your mouths to take a good look at you on his lap, his eyes wandered from your heavy eyelids, your lips puffy and red from the kisses, your blouse-covered chest raising and falling as fast as his until they got to the black thong you were wearing and he couldn't help but moan "Oh, fuck me"

"You like them?" your mouth came down his neck to give him wet kisses.

"How wouldn't I?" he held you by the nape of the neck and brought your mouths together again "I've wanted this for so long"

You released some kind of laughter "I know"

"Oh, do you?" he raised his brows.

"You're not exactly subtle for an agent" you murmured between kisses.

He snorts "Well, thanks for the insight"

Javi couldn't resist the urge to touch you through the tiny piece of fabric and you moaned at the pressure at your clitoris, but he moaned too at the wetness he found.

Javi didn't ask you how long you had wanted him, you were grinding on his lap at that moment and that was all that mattered. But he wished you had said it, that you had desired him as much as he had desired you, that all this time he had been imagining this moment, you were imagining it too.

"Fuck baby, you are so wet already" his tongue licked a stripe on your neck "All this for me?"

You answer was muffled by a moan; it seemed positive, but before he could confirm you were linking your mouths again in a searing kiss.

You started moving your hips on his erection and you both moaned at the pressure. Suddenly, his torso is being pushed down to the ground, chests pressed against each other, your fingers tangled his hair and pushed and he fucking whimpered.

Jesus Christ, he was in heaven and was not even inside of you yet.

You grinded furiously against him and he found it absolutly beautiful how you were using him to pleasure yourself and was not embarressed to do so. So. Fucking. Hot.

He felt like he was coming in any second.

"Fuck, you keep doing that and will have me cumming on my fucking pants, bebita"

"Oh, say it again!"

"What? That I'm within seconds to cumming?"

You moaned loudly at that "No- I mean, that too, that's hot, but- oh fuck"

"Bebita?" he felt you shiver at the pet name and chuckled "You like that, huh?"

You grabbed the nape of his neck and lowered your head to crush your lips to his again, tongues fighting heatedly. Javi started to feel that heat boiling at the bottom of his stomach, his hips grinded against yours and the pressure were just perfect; by the sounds you were making, you were as close as he was. Javi reached for you ass and grabbed it with both of his hands and squeezed, adding even more pressure to the grindness. At last, he sucked the pulse in your neck and you started to shake above him; that combined with the sweet noises that came out of you, he was gone.

You collapse on top of him, fingers unconsciously running through his hair; his members were sore and he was so tired and satisfied that he could sleep right there. The both fo you took deep breaths while your head rested on the gap of his neck and his on the floor.

"I can't remember the last time I did this" he was the first to break the silence.

"I actually do this everyday to my pillow" you mumbered humurously and he moaned.

"Shit, you're gonna be the death of me" his hand ran up and down from your ass to your backs, loving the feeling of your curves.

You raised your head to find his eyes and the moment was gone. You both realizing what you just had done, the before contentedness in him that was mirrowed in your eyes then turning into panic.

"Shit" you clumsly stood up. You put your skirt down as quickly as you could.

"It's getting late" it was already late when you came to his office "I should go" you should stay, he wanted to say.

But instead he only nodded. He knew it was for the best. He shouldn't have let it come this far.

You quickly get your stuff and wishes him a goodnight. His eyes don't leave you until you pass through the door, yours, though, don't meet him once.

He stayed there on the floor, cum staining his pants, and even though he was fully clothed, the room had never felt colder.

➫

The next day was pure craziness. After you left his office, Javi went home, took a shower and lied in bed thinking of what had just happened between the two of you and what would happen from then on until he had to come back to work. Before he could even get to his office, you intercepted him with a cup of coffee and the news of a surprise and excruciating slow meeting with the ambassador, which led to another one with the CIA and then the atrocious combination of them both together. By the time Javi was freed from hell, everybody else were already leaving; due to your situation, he thaught that would be your case too, so he was surprised to see you still on your desk.

"I was waiting to see if you would need something else from me before I left" was your answer to the question on his face.

"I think I'm heading home too, actually" after a day like that, he felt like maybe he could even get some sleep.

He had work to do, yeah, and usually it didn't matter to him if his mind wasnt in the right place - it rarely was anyways -, but he knew nothing productive would result from working in that state. Javi also wanted to talk to you; he had so many thing in his mind, what he thought about during that whole previous night: he wanted you. So bad he didn't even know how to express it, so much he let himself cum in his pants just to get the little you were wailing to give to him. And he was concerned about what your reaction to that would be, because it was obvious that you wanted him too, but your actions showed him that you didn't want to want him. All those thoughts were consuming him, but it would have to wait for another day, he didn't think that was the right time, not at work. Maybe he could invite you for drinks and talk things through or-

"I was wondering if we could talk, too" you interrupt his thoughts "About yesterday"

If Javi wasn't a trained professional, he probably would've had his mouth opened in absolut shock. It was like you read his mind.

"Of course" you both looked around the department, the couple people remaining already preparing to leave. Still, he opened his office door and nodded for you to come in.

You were flustered, nervous even. Javi didn't know what to expect from that talk, he wished you would cave in to your needs and fuck him already, but he felt like you wouldn't be easy on him. Honestly, he couldn't read you.

The both of you stood akwardly in the middle of the room, door closed behind you. He waited patiantly for you to start talking, for you to take the lead of the conversation.

"So" you sighed "I wanted to apologise"

His face contorted in a deep frown "What for? You have nothing to apologise"

"I do, yes" you shook your head "It was completely irresponsible and unprofessional and we shouldn't have done that"

If you said you were embarressed last time, about the things you had said on the bar, Javi didn't know what you could possibly be feeling at that moment: your face was getting red, your eyes wouldn't meet his, your hands squeezed each other in your front; he kind of felt bad he was the cause of your discomfort.

"You didn't do anything by yourself"

"I jumped on you like a crazy-ass-horny woman!" over your shoulder, you look outside to see if there was anyone to witness your voice raising; there wasn't.

Javi could barely contain the smirk forcing itself upon his mouth at the memory of you riding him in that very same floor, just a few steps from where you stood. He really couldn't contain the beggining of an erection, though.

"And I loved that" you looked at him as if he was crazy for saying it "I did!" he took a few steps in your direction "And honestly, if anyone should be blamed it's me, I'm the boss, aren't I? The authority in the room or some shit like that"

The way you look at him said that you agreed, that he should be blamed too, should've had more self control, but you didn't say it and that made him smile, the way you still tried to keep your composure at work.

You sighed "Still, it wasn't right and I'm sorry"

"I'm not" he took another step towards you.

"It's not the point, sir"

"I don't think you are that sorry either" your brows raised in surprise "And fucking quit calling me 'sir' now, there's just us in here" another step.

"I'm just-" you shrugged "I'm trying to be professional, that's all"

"Baby we're a little too late for that now"

"Jesus Christ" you pinched the bridge of your nose, he could feel the frustration exhaling from you "You don't like to make things easy, do you?"

"What's the fun in that?" the joke landed flat "I have a proposal"

That got your attention "I don't think I like where this is going"

"Well, that's the thing" he took one more step "I think you do. You fucking grinded on me on this floor until we both came. You want me. What are you so afraid of?"

"You're my fucking boss!" your exasperation made him want to laugh and scream out of frustration at the same time "I like this job, I want to keep it"

"I would never put your job in risk"

"You can't be sure" it was true, Javi barely had a say in anything, but he would do anything in his power for you not to lose your job, especially because of him "And even if this" you pointed between the two of you "didn't make me lose it, it would be living hell if people found out"

"I can be discreet"

You crossed your arms "You're not taking me seriously"

"I am, I promise that I am" he really was "I just- You gave me a taste of what it would look like and now I'm starving for more" he scratched his chin, a little embarressed he let that slip out "I would do anything to have you for one night, we don't have to take work to the bedroom"

"Oh" you snorted "there's a bedroom in the scene now?"

"What?" he raised his brows "You thought I was fucking you in my office?" you went silent "You fucking did"

Javi is no romantic man, he thought about fucking you in every place possible, in the bathroom there, against the nearest wall, but when truly thinking about taking you, it would always be in a bedroom, somewhere you both would be able to take your time.

"Do you fantasize about it?" a step closer "Do you touch yourself thinking about me?" your eyes wouldn't meet his, so he carefully took your chin and angled your head until they did "Where?"

You gulped "Where what?"

"Where did you imagine?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Your desk"

"Fucking dirty woman" he smirked "I'm gonna fuck you on my desk, bebita" he took you by the waist, colliding your body to his "And on my couch" his nose traveled from your cheek to your neck "On the fucking window so eveyone can see how pretty you will look with my cock deep inside of you"

"Shit" your voice broke, breathless.

"Do you want it? Huh? To be full of my cock?" you nodded "I want words"

"Yes" you puffed.

"Yes what?"

You looked at him with a defiant look "Yes, sir"

He had to laugh "You are the worst"

His lips collided with yours with so much fierceness he was surprised they didn't start bleeding. His hands were all over your body, your breasts, your back, your ass. You pulled his hair with both hands and he moaned. Javi wanted you so bad it hurt. He decided to be bold and lifted you skirt to your waist, then placed you sitted on the edge of his desk, each of your legs on each side of his hips, pushing everything that was on your way to the floor, paying no attention to anything that wasn't you.

"I hate how you kiss me" you mumbled frustrated between kisses and he pinched his brows.

"You have a very distinct way to hate things"

"You just do it so well" your hands covered his cheeks "Makes me want to do this everyday"

Javi couldn't help but to smirk "I don't see why we can't"

"Yes, you do"

"All I see is a gorgeous woman with tasteful lips" he reached your covered mound and passed a finger through your folds, making you moan loudly ", wet lips" he smirked "telling me she wants to kiss me foverer"

You snorted "I didn't say that"

"That's what I heard"

"You are so cocky" you rolled your eyes.

"Damn right I am" Javi pressed his erection to your thigh.

"Yeah, I felt it yesterday" your hands went to unbuckle his belt, quickly reaching for his cock through his underwear and pumping him a couple of times "You're big, sir"

Javi moaned and threw his head back, enjoying the feeling, barely believing it was finally happening. You put down every piece of cloth in your way to his thighs, put your own panties to the side and started to guide him to your entrance.

"You think is gonna be that easy?" he murmured in your ear, dodging his dick to press on your clit instead, making you moan at the contact, but also groan out of frustration.

"After all this time, it should be"

"You know what I want to hear, baby" he peppered kisses on your neck while still grinding his dick from your clit to your entrance, you were so wet he knew you would have no difficulty to take him.

"Put this thing inside of me, already" you tried to move your hips to get more friction, frustration consuming you.

Even though Javi had a purpose of you to stop calling him 'sir', he could barely hold himself from sliping inside of you, so that's what he did. Your moan as he slowly made space for him inside of you will forever be in his mind. Javi cursed under his breath as your walls squeezed him and he had to take a moment to absorb the feeling. So warm, so wet, so tight, he was in heaven. But you were impatiant.

"Please, move"

"Say my name and I will"

"Why are you so attached to this?" you pinched your brows.

He did the same "Why are you so against saying it?"

You licked a stripe on his neck "To piss you off"

"That's okay" he smirked "You don't have to say it, I'm gonna make you scream it" he held your legs and roughly pushed inside expecting to hit your special place; by the way you gasped and grabbed him, he got it just right "Found it"

Javi ran his nose through your neck and your skin bristled "You're so sensitive here, aren't you, bebita?"

"I'm starting to think that you make me sensitive everywhere"

He laughed and stopped his movements again "Now that's a confession"

"What can I say?" you huffed "It seems like you make my mind go blank when you have your huge dick inside of me and won't. fucking. move"

He laughed and started to slowly take it out just to push it in again at the same speed.

"You're gonna fucking kill me" you whined "Please, faster"

"Are you needy, baby?" he licked your neck "I can feel you squeeze me. You're desperate for my cock, huh?"

"Yes"

"Yes, what?

"Yes, sir"

He increased the speed and you moaned louder "Unbelievable" his hips were reletless and he felt you getting tighter and tighter "You're almost there, aren't you, baby?" you couldn't speak, mouth half opened and nails digging into the skin of his arm "You like it rough, don't you?"

Then he stopped.

"What the fuck?" your voice is hoarsed.

"I'm fucking you slow, baby, is that a crime?" his smile was smudge

"You're evil" you whined, hips moving to find relief.

"I am evil? Who are you to talk about evil? You're fucking teasing me here, bebita. That's so wrong" he started to move slowly again "Just say my name and I'll let you cum"

You nodded your head no.

"Say it"

"No"

"Fucking say. It." he changed the angle to repeatedly hit that spot inside of you and pulled your hair until your back arched.

"Oh my God, Javi!" you screamed as you came hard on his dick, eyes closed tight, mouth opened and body tremblimg.

His name coming out of your mouth was like music to Javi's ears, and hearing it for the first time fomented something insane inside of him. He licked his thumb and pressed it hard against your clit, your eyes widened in surprise and he got a strangled sound out of your mouth as you came again, your body violently shaking under his hands.

"Oh shit, that's it, baby. You're fucking milking me. Shit, shit, shit."

His name was now floating through your lips like a hymn, and he loved to hear it.

"I'm gonna cum"

His words seemed to wake you from your trance "On my mouth"

"Shit" he steped away and out of you and one second later you were on the floor, knelt before him. You grabbed his dick with one hand, put the tip in your mouth and that's all it took for him to cum the hardest he had in his life. You sucked it, greedy until he had nothing more to give you "Let me see it, baby" he asked with a hoarsed voice, asking you to open your mouth, showing that you had swalloed it all "Fucking dirty woman"

You smirked and rested your forehead on his thigh, exausted.

"Come 'ere" he took your hand on his and got you to your feet, holding you against him by your waist "Can you walk?"

"I think I can learn how to do it again, yeah" he chuckled.

Javi lowered your skirt before sitting you on his desk again "How are you getting home?" he asked quietly as he slowly buttoned up your blouse, trying not to startle you and have you running away again.

"I'm taking a cab" you more gently than not stopped his fingers to continue the work yourself.

"Let me take you home" he fished your panties from the floor and put it in his pocked as he wore his pants again

"You don't have to"

"I know I don't. But I'm kind of worried if you will be capable to support yourself for enough time to call a cab after I fucked you this good"

You released the louder chuckle he had ever heard you give as you stood up "You're the absolute worst, Javier."

He started to get hard to the sound of his name on your lips.

"See? Perfectly stable" one of your eyebrows was raised and all he wanted to do was to kiss your attitude away.

"I guess I'll have to fuck you harder next time, then"

"I guess"

You both went quiet as you made your way out of the building and to his car, you only speaking to give him instructions to get to your place.

"There will be a next time, right?" he spoke as you left the car.

How silly of him to think that fucking you once would be enough, would make all the consuming desire go away, if something, it only made him want you more.

You took your time to look at him, as if staring directly to his soul and gave him a small smile.

"Good night, Javi"

[juniebugs]

using batfam characters to explain innate immunity :)

i have an exam in a week so i'm projecting my lack of knowledge onto my comfort characters

aka describing immunology through superheroes because i have an illness no part of my immune system can save.

listen. i don't think there's an audience for this. i don't know why there would be. but i'm studying bioengineering and have a special interest in superheroes.... sooooo.......

OTHER SIMILAR POSTS THAT MIGHT BE USEFUL TO UNDERSTAND MY MADNESS:

for more general immunology definitions to actually understand my nonsense pls go here

for me utilizing marvel characters to describe adaptive immunity pls go here.

just a heads up: i'm using innate = batfam and adaptive = marvel knowledge but they do overlap so just y'know be prepared. this is a lot of text but it should should be scientifically accurate or at least not horribly wrong.

also hindsight tells me the emojis give chatgpt but generative ai is incapable of coming up with the level of insanity finals season gives dw folks this is all genuine madness.

FIRST LAYER OF DEFENSE (INNATE / BATFAMILY)

The first line of defense is the surface barriers, this is like the basic weapons that all the vigilantes would have.

🧍‍♂️SKIN == Batcave

It consists of many layers of closely packed, keratinized cells (mmm stratum corneum my fav) and is very hard for bacteria to get through (batman is the only baddie in the batcave). Skin sheds periodically (we love dust) which removes microbes from the surface. Think of Alfred shooing unwanted guests…. With force if need be.

🦠MUCOUS == Batarangs

mmm mucous love. They both trap the baddies and operate through specialized movements. While the batman clan would be like doing some cool training moves idk that mucous is like

Coughing /sneezing

Or the even more exciting

Swallowing.

Woooo. But the general idea remains. Specialized movements, but very general (all family members would use them).

👩HAIRS == Grappling Lines

I don’t know if you have ever watched the hit antimated film batman: under the red hood but batman is fitting the red hood and uses the grappling line to trap him and he gets out which is how (partially) they figure out the red hood is Jason todd. Lore.

ANYWAY like the grappling lines, hair traps and filters the baddies (microbes). 🚗CILIA == Batmobile

Cilia are hair like microscopic projections on epithelial surface. They wave and propels the movement mucous ejecting or destroying pathogens

Kind how like how the batmobile whips b-man supreme around gotham with his scary equipment and then will bring the baddies to Gordon. Wild stuff here. 🥹TEARS == Smoke Pellets

Have you ever felt emo? Yeah, me too. We were all twelve once. When you cry to my chemical romance– or more specifically to spraying your side-part’s hairspray in your eyes- you are clearing and draining irritants.

Continual doing of this keeps the microbes from settling.

For a batman analogy because im committed to the bit:

Think like the smoke pellets. B-man supreme uses these to let him escape, often taking the baddies with him.

🧫ENZYMES (Lysozyme) == EMP Devices

Bro enzymes are sick. Lets talk about lysozyme. This enzyme breaks down cell walls of certain bacteria and can appear in tears saliva, sweat, and other secretions.

In batman, he has this sick device called a EMP device that breaks down electronics (cell walls) and can be used in conjunction to other methods.

🧼BODILY FLUIDS == Utility Belt

Okay so we’re goopy gooey guys. But this is a strength. Our goop is versatile. Our bodily fluids (mmm) is like batman utility belt. Depending on location, circumstance, or even vigilante the tools may vary but generally their training is similar.

Okay queens we did the first layer of defense and now it’s the second layer of defense.

---------------------------------- SECOND LAYER OF DEFENSE (INNATE / BATFAMILY)

If weapons don’t work its fist to fist, vigilante versus baddie time. Okay so we are starting off with some sexy antimicrobial proteins.

🚨INTERFERONS == GOTHAM PUBLIC

First lets look at interferons. Interferons are like the general gotham population these are small secreted proteins which interfere with viral replication.

Like if a baddie was just chilling on gotham these guys would call up the vigilante homies. Probably like ‘two face is out again and not a new make-up release get your ass over here batman’ and that would be that. 🛰 COMPLEMENT SYSTEM == JUSTICE LEAGUE

The complement system is a collection of >30 plasma proteins that ‘complement’ the antibacterial activity in the body. They are essentially someone you call in when you need a helping hand – like the just league!!! 🤓IRON-BINDING PROTEINS == TIM DRAKE

Timerson drakerson is like iron-binding proteins. He breaks in slow silent and gets the job DONE. He is essentially like a sneaky dude that prevents bacteria (baddies) from growing (hacking into the mainframe *nerd emoji*).

Not featured in their own category is other antimicrobial proteins. Those could be like the police ringing out big bird to kick ass. 😡NATURAL KILLER CELLS == JASON TODD

RED HOOD JASON TODD IS A NATURAL KILLER (NK) CELL THIS IS HOW THIS WHOLE IDEA STARTED.

Okokok natural killer cells prowl. They are looking for cells out of place, lacking inhibition receptors etc. This is like hood prowling crime alley looking over the baddies and seeing if anything is out of place.

He is unique (quirky) and does his own thing. While a part of the innate immune system (batfamily) he is kind of operating by his own direction.

Is a straight forward killer.

Perforin -> breaking in, getting the info he needs

Granzyme -> his guns baybeee pew pew they’re dead.

IFN gamma and TFN alpha are pro-inflammatory cytokines affecting viral infections and are like notes he leaves behind. ominously. idk this might be stretch but roll w it. ⚖️PHAGOCYTOSIS == BATMAN'S PROCESS

Batman has a clear methodology and follows a clear and consistent order. His methods could be compared to phagocytosis if you're gigabrained like me. or mentally ill. idk

1.) CHEMOTAXIS -> cells are chemically stimulated to move to the site of damage or infection. This is like the batsignal. Batman gets called to an area of crime and moves fast. 2.) ADHERENCE -> This is attachment of the phagocyte to the microbe. ORRRR big bat finding the sneaky baddie and locking them downnnnn  3.) INGESTION -> phagocyte forms pseudopods forming the phagosome noming the particles. Aka baddies tied and dragged away for interrogation. 4.) DIGESTION -> Phagosome fuses with a lysosome containing digestive enzyme. PLOT TWIST commissioner Gordon is in on this. Its interrogation time babybeee 5.) KILLING -> batman doesn’t kill, but he does let the law (lysosome) handle things where need be.

there are also a few types of cells that can be phagocytes.

🐦NEUTROPHILS == ROBINS

Neutrophils are the most abundant leukocyte. think about how many robins theres been. so many. Neutrophils become phagocytic they encounter infectious material (brucie wayne, or other trauma in their lives). 1st to move from blood to tissue during inflammation (speedy lil guys). Also a major component of pus. I don’t think I want an analogy for that fact tbhs

Also neutrophils can kick the bucket pretty quick. Cough cough Jason cough cough m 🐦‍⬛MONOCYTES / MACROPHAGES == DICK GRAYSON / NIGHTWING

Okay next up is dick grayson or nightwing/

The first robin, he eventually matured into his own hero name as he got older. Monocytes are circulated in the blood like he does bludhaven awhhhh yeah easy remembering until he gets to the tissues that are inflamed.  In the tissues, he matures into macrophages (becomes less silly goofy) and can become who is needed in the moment. New batman for a comic run? Sure np.

So monocytes -> dick grayson, silly goofy, paying attention in case he’s needed.

Macrophages -> nightwing. Ready to lead, fight hard. Ready to take ass and kick names. 🪄BACK TO PHAGOCYTOSIS FOR A PHAT SEC !!!!!

How does the batfamily even know who the baddies (pathogens) are.???

The are using PRRs or pattern recognition receptors to ‘see’ pathogen-associated molecular patterns or PAMPS

Think of it as having the batcomputer (PRR) to collect data (PAMP)

PRR are receptors for common bacterial components. So when it binds to a PAMP (a hit on the system) batman and the family knows to act.  Secrete pro-inflammatory cytokins and begin phagocytosis 📌DENDRITIC CELLS == BARBARA GORDON (ORACLE)

Okay last major phagocyte we’re talking about, and one of the most important, are dendritic cells.

Dendritic cells are highly specialized, residents of tissues, and antigen presenting. These link the innate and adaptive immune responses. They use the PRR to recognize and phagocytose pathogens in the tissues.

Barbara was previously batgirl, so has a lot of insights, but has become oracle since her injury. Now she manages the batfamily and tells them where and when to act. (utilizing the batcomputer or PRR).

Travel to lymph nodes to present pathogenic antigens to T cells. OKAY t cells are not technically innate so by my predetermined analogy of innate == batfam // adaptive == marvel this analogy kind falls apart but.

SHE ESSENTIALLY CALLS FOR RECRUITMENTS JUST LIKE INTERDIMENSIONALLY. So then the marvel characters can respond.

-----------------------------------

ROLE PLAY TIME!!!!!!!!! (LET LEARN ABOUT INFLAMMATION & FEVERS)

Oh no!!!! There’s an attack on gotham!!! But gotham is metaphorical so I secretly mean your body. Rip. But not really rip. Because your innate immune system is on their way.

Lets call this response inflammation (oooooo)

Its nonspecific. This crime doesn’t have to be insane for a vigilante to respond. They’re always trying to help. But inflammation is acting as a big fat cry for help (batsignal of sorts).

It tells the vigilantes to deliver the molecules to help, prevent damage from spreading, and prepare the site for repair.

There’s a few main stages it goes through

Initial response!!! 😳

Damaged cells (citizens of gotham) signal that something has gone wrong. This is like a chemical alarm or a bat signal. And mediators are recleased.

PRR and resident macrophages get activated. Akaaaaa bat signal tells bat computer (likely through oracle) to get up and at them. So its go time to release all the vigilantes (cytokines & chemokines)

ALFRED THE LEGEND is the resident mast cells releasing potent inflammatory mediators (responses to the crime)

Contribute a lot but especially to vasodilation & permability of blood vessels aka getting them there asap. Immune cells emigrate by the mediators (alfreds) direction Aka there’s increased vascular diameter, blood flow, they can move fast. Reduction in blood flow velocity -> gotham pauses so they can get through. Increased vascular permability -> all heros get in through any means necessary

They get through the tissue (phagocytosis, chemotaxis -> aka NEEDING a batsignal or a means of identifying where they need to go)

And then clot microvessels -> build up barriers to prevent as much damaged as possible,

First to the scene are the robins (neutrophils) and then monocytes (nightwing, batman, etc)

How did they even get there bro wtf? 🤠

Theres a few different steps to their movement.

1.) ROLLING ADHESION akaaaaa robin has a tracker in the costume and starts running. 2.) TIGHT BINDING aka grappling hooks attaching to building in gothan 3.) EXTRAVASATION / DIAPEDESIS aka cell / vigilante crosses into the rougher neighbourhood where this action is happening. Breaking through so others can follow 4.) MIGRATION the older more experience macrophages (nightwing, batman) recruits the robins and slide through a chemokine gradient.

What does inflammation even look like? 🥵

Gotham has learned to identify when something is going downnnn

1.) redness (rubor) -> the city has cleared out for these guys

2.) heat (calor) -> its getting intense, and you can feel it

3.) swelling (tumor) -> as a response to one crime, other criminals want to act

4.) pain (dolor) -> sometimes citizens get hurt, but their focus prevents crime from spreading in some cases.

from here there's some wonderful skin healing but i'm not tested on it and my notes are long enough sooooo

FEVER == ARKHAM BREAKOUT🤧

Sometimes shit goes down and it needs a bigger response.

A fever is an abnormally high body temperature as a response to invading microganisms.

When Arkham criminals breakout, the batfam becomes more ruthless especially the macrophages (nightwing, batman) instead releasing their pyrogens.

If they can manage themselves then all is okay, and we’ll be okay

If they can’t (i.e. too high of a fever) than it is can be very dangerous and they might go too far. ---------------------------------------------

HOLY SHIT WE'RE DONE INNATE THIS WAS SO INTENSE.

so this means its the end of the batfam except i made babs dendritic cells so she'll be back. which is chill i love her. ANYWAY

if you want to read adaptive immunity marvel info click here. i hope this helps one poor nerd on their bio test. im a provider.

[hypertic]

I’ve seen a lot of AUs of spiderman/vigilante Ava but the potential vigilante Beatrice has is >>>

like it all begins when Ava, who’s working in a biomed lab late at night, finds Beatrice in the storage room stuffing her bag with medical supplies paying no mind to her bleeding leg (about to leave her entire DNA evidence in a lab) and clearly Ava is shocked.

too shocked to react when Beatrice tackles her and covers her mouth, spreading all her blood on the floor and dropping her bag. the thing is Beatrice is shocked too, so she just stares, at the pretty scientist who’s breathing against her palm.

“This is the part where you say something along the lines of its not what it looks like.” Ava speaks when Beatrice takes her hand off.

“It’s exactly what it looks like though.” her accent is off, ava thinks, not American.

“Breaking and entering, robbery and assault?”

“This is not assault!” Beatrice almost seems offended by it, but loosens her grip around Ava’s shoulder, pinning her down.

“So you admit to breaking and entering?” Ava’s smile is so smug, as if she’s not the one being held down by a criminal. Beatrice doesn’t answer, contemplating her choices. “I don’t care, honestly.”

“What?”

“It’s not my company, not my responsibility, I’m just here doing overtime checking on bacterial growth every 2 hours.” Ava shrugs, and Beatrice believes her.

She wants to believe her. She seems very honest and she doesn’t want to restrain her or anything. She’s also lost some blood and is a little lightheaded.

So Beatrice slumps back, finally releasing ava, who notices the (medium sized) pool of blood underneath the mysterious, masked woman.

“Need help with that?” Ava is teasing but genuine, and Beatrice wonders why she didn’t run out the door. Then she wonders why she didn’t close the door, at least.

Ava scoots closer, her hands hovering over the supplies scattered around the floor.

“So what are you, exactly?” Ava asks, opening a pack of gauze. “Like Spider-Man? With powers and all?”

“No powers.” At this point, Beatrice has decided Ava is not threat.

“But do you fight crime and stuff? I can see your cool stick back there.”

“What makes you think I’m not the crime?” She’s not threatening she’s curious and dumbfounded because who in their right mind would catch a masked person stealing, patch them up and ask if they’re a hero?

“You don’t give evil vibes.” Ava shrugs. “And there’s rumors you know? About a masked figure going around, known criminals showing up cuffed to a lamp post.”Beatrice cheeks blush slightly under the mask and shakes her head.

“So like, a vigilante?” Beatrice doesn’t answer, eventually giving a small nod, her eyes following Ava’s moved closely, who’s finally cleaned the wound. “But no powers?”

“No powers.”

“That’s… dangerous.” Ava’s brows furrow in a mix of concern and awe.

Beatrice doesn’t know what to say, and she’s beginning to realize that only happens around this woman.

“It might need some of those butterfly stitches.” Ava declared, pressing (hard) on the cut right above her leg before tying the bandage around it.

“Thank you.” Beatrice says.

“It’s alright. I’m Ava, by the way.”

“Im Be-.”

“Alright, B, let me pack this up for you and clean up.”

“Are you kidding?” Ava is not kidding, for she starts to wipe the blood off the floor with some alcohol wipes and stuffs the bag with even more supplies, all while Beatrice stares.

“Won’t you get in trouble?” Ava shrugs for the hundredth time, but Beatrice can’t seem to find it annoying (yet).

“Nope, because this was a robbery, and I am a victim.” Ava takes a hand to her chest dramatically. “Go on, I won’t look. But you need to be quick because I’m calling the cops now.” Ava takes out her phone and stares at Beatrice expectantly.

Beatrice just stares back, before grabbing the bag and jumping to her feet, heading for the door and taking one last look back. Ava’s smile is the last she sees of her before sprinting away into the dark.

[crazy-hazy-sims]

-Gates of Ishtar Arabic inspired wedding venue-

so i have a build! this is for Arabic weddings as they are a different style of wedding than what the game usually caters to, i did have to add an arch because the game requires it for a wedding to happen but for a typical Arabic wedding the actual marriage part happens sitting down at a table with the officiant parents and witnesses either days before in the church or mosque or even at home then this party or in a private room in the venue same day as the party, then you go to the venue to "announce it" and celebrate by walking in to music dancing eating and receiving congratulations from your guests and taking pictures, the newlyweds sit on a couch at the top center of the room sometimes elevated like it is here. NOTE: alot of people celebrate differently ofc im not saying this exactly how it happens every time! also this is based on the outdoor weddings i attended mixed in with bablonyan style of decor, inside weddings look a little different the difference being that its well inside in a massive room and the dance floor is in the middle between the two sides. AGAIN weddings will probably be different to people from different areas keep that in mind.

anyway

features:

no cc.

50*50 lot made for oasis springs but not required to be placed there

2 small kitchens and the second floor has two bathrooms on either side

following the tradition of the bride and groom walking to their seat from outside the venue while people cheer on i have placed invisible aisles on the walkway outside and the hallway leading up to the actual walkway

swans in the lake hehe

4 buffet tables and 2 drink trays! you can remove the end tables in the buffet rooms and add a bar if you want there is space for that

fully playtested. im about to go have a second wedding in there actually

packs used : packs with dots on them means i only used one or two things and can be ignored if you dont have them

things will be missing if you dont have them: lovestruck: palm plant -discover university: bathroom stalls- get to work: photobooth - home chef hustle: decorative plates - paranormal: potted plant - movie hangout: the one couch- perfect patio: the outer fence - revira retreat: drinks tray

FREE. DO NOT REUPLOAD OR PUT BEHIND PAYWALL I WILL CALL YOU OUT IF YOU DO

DOWNLOAD: simfileshare - mediafire

here's a nice wedding i had here <3

this was actually really fun and worked smoothly <3

[vesperionnox]

I am actually BEGGING to know everything that happened with Nova and Eki in FinalLife PLLEEEAAASSSSEEEE IDM THAT ITS BEEN A YEAR IM SO FUCKING CURIOUS I WANNA KNOW THE LORE SOO BAD IT LOOKS SO INTERESTING PLEASE 🙏🙏 /nf /vpos

FINAALLY, looking at my asks so omg im so sorry to keep you waiting.

Nova and Eki did not get to have a lot of positive interaction in FinalLife. When they first met Nova was bring a boom box to try and make friends with the overseers but wasn't much welcomed by any of the members other than Marrow, who was planning to form an alliance with Novas team, and Eki, who found this funky wolf a little silly.

Than a little later while making a deal with Vinca, Nova watched as Eki got blown up by a creeper and they were to late to react. That part isn't so relevant to FinalLife but become relevant when Nova's actions keep being too late to save Eki when they are teamed during WovenLife

Back to Final Life, they became penpals on accident. Nova sent out a letter with one of her wolves to try and make friends with other members and it just so happened to be Eki who picked it up and wrote back. Their interactions didn't go much past their letters, they really couldn't as their teams ended up as enemies. Eki apart of the overseers and Nova as head of the Thraveners, and their bigger alliance, they just couldn't become friends.

They never targeted each other, till it was the final session. Nova leading the hunt couldn't just stray away from a fight and Eki just had to run from that pack. At this point, talking was Eki's way of living and Nova's was fighting. The two methods just didn't work.

Nova ends up leading her final group of four up a snowy mountain to attack Marrow and Eki but are surprised to find a lonesome Eki. While Nova didn't attack Eki she still led Attesh to kill her.

That's how Final life ends for them. Nova turns her back as Attesh continues to attack Eki and only looks back once the lightning strikes. They wanted to be friends, they should have been friends, but... that's just not how it turned out.

after all, how could a wolf not hunt the bird?

Also also, here's a video I made on them about their Final Life Time.

[helltiervriska]

haii!!! im rlly interested in where you got the garments and parts for your kanaya cosplay. the outfit looks rlly good and ig im just looking for clothes like that so if you could point me in the direction of a shop that sells that kind of stuff thatd be great !! :D also ur rlly pretty and i love your cosplays theyre so cool !!

lmao so funny story.

outer satin top w symbol: hand sewn beads on butchered thrift store top. beads are from a broken bracelet my gramma gave me. had to chop the back up then pin it together with the safetypin-hairtie-safetypin manuver bcs it is maybe 10 sizestoo small

translucent black flowy top/skirt-like garment: bathing suit cover, pieces thrifted separately but from same source somehow

red top underneath: thrift store, butchered neckline. had to also pin this up in the back

red cross black velvet skirt: base thrifted, butchered/burnt/painted w fabric paint. birthday gift from my brother 3-4 years ago

rosary: thrifted, broken as fuck

cross earrings: crosses found on etsy, put on hoop earrings by me

silver hoops: thrifted a whole pack of them og from claires a while back. Score!

green large shiny decora earrings: thrifted

boots: 6yo clearance mens demonias, broke in the middle of this cosplay. had these bitches since i was 16!!!! 30$

corset: some cheap crap from amazon i got a few years back ill wear until i can afford an orchardcorset or it breaks entirely. cannot stress enough how much i do not reccomend wearing cheap corsets

contacts: i thiiink ifairy cara green. uniqso. tip: colored contacts absolutely make or break a cosplay. good to splurge on

makeup: everything green via eyeshadow/lipstick made by me. slowly in the process of formulating all my makeup bcs im very allergic to everything. black eyeliner is nyx, one pencil one felt tip. used on eyebrows/lips too. dont bother w lipliners/eyebrow products they r expensive and eyeliner/eyeshadow works perfectly well.

eyelashes: top were from local beauty supply, bottom lashes were like. wet n wild crap i got from a relative that i chopped up.

gray paint: mehron paradise, get it from the OG website if u dont need it quickly and want it a lil cheaper

fangs: cheap amazon bullshit. u can find fangs in bulk anywhere there no matter the seller theyre all from the same manufacturer so u always know ur getting cheap fucking crap

wig: CHEAP lace front from some beauty store clearance bin in DC, styled to hell and back

horns: made by meeee (model magic + modge podge/plaster outrecoat bcs model magic cracks like a bitch, i only use the low tier acrylics bcs who the fuck is gonna pay 20$ for a tube of something u can just layer a few times to get opaque)

armsocks: welovecolors (spraypainted w white cos i bought the dark gray instead if light gray like a dumbass, heavily abused). i highly reccomend welovecolors seamless armsock/seamless bodysuit line im trying to get their bodysuit at some point. expensive (45$ for the socks, 90$ for the bodysuit) but worth it bcos homemade armsocks rip stupid easily and id rather break my skull than paint my hands.

nails: cheap shit from sallys, painted w my mommas 10+ year old nail polish collection

i think thats it? yeah. its all cheap crap. all i can reccomend is find a local non-chain non-christianity based thrift store and go to town man . im not out here buying premade bullshit that i aint able to make myself! i dont ever spend a fortune on my cosplays. i find scarcity is key in innovation and creativity. use lots of safety pins. cheers.

oyea her wedding ring my nanna gave me when i was like. 12? it could be real onyx/gold but it could also be costume jcpennys shit. who knows

[randomrambles3nonsenseetc]

Gratitude, healing, Bridgerton Polin & a little Lukola

Over the weekend I wanted to write something about gratitude, then I got busy, distracted and tired and the moment passed.

Don't get me wrong I am still very grateful for many things but this last year in particular has been really challenging, difficult and basically a roller coaster with a lot of blind twists and turns that has left me pretty fkng shattered.

Last week was a good week, but it was also long, chaotic and busy. What im learning about myself as I'm going through a journey of deep inner healing and personal growth is that its exhausting. As your body begins to move out of survival into some sort of intermediary space above survival mode it takes time, a lot of kindness and making boundaries in areas of my life that I never thought I would have to make.

Healing takes time, one step, one day at a time. Its also really hard to do when you still have to function and adult and have what feels like a world of expectations upon your shoulders.

There are so many moments through most days where I just want to pack a bag and go and live in a cabin in the woods for a while or something similar.

There are days where functioning in the world hurts so much that I don't want to be where I am, doing the work that I do, having the responsibilities i have. Instead I want to be somewhere else, doing something else, learning to completely be myself somewhere far away from the realities of my world. However, like everyone else, I have bills to pay responsibilities etc and realistically simply don't have the means to metaphorically or literally abandon my life.

So here i am crashed on my couch, utterly exhausted for a number of reasons. Questioning how and why does life somehow get harder the older you get.

Seriously, so called middle age is bullshit, the ideals about people in my age group/generation having settled lives, financial security, secure and strong friendship groups, hobbies, work life balance, the ability to travel or the ability to just quit a career and reinvent yourself to go on a journey of self discovery... its utter bullsh*t.

Let's be honest no matter how old you are, life is hard. Everyone is walking a journey and figuring it out as they go.

I know that a large part of getting through is about how you view the challenges you face in life and most of the time I have a reasonably healthy sense of pessimistic optimism... but sometimes, and more often recently, I wobble because life is complicated and today I'm tied.

There was a point... gratitude...

Yes, im thankful and grateful for having a job and career that I used to love and found fulfilling... I still like my job (most of the time), its just my current job is... different and im trying to work out how to get back to feeling fulfilled by my work.

Im thankful for lots of things, but one of the things that has helped get me through the last year has been Bridgerton, Polin and Lukola.

I've never really followed actors or fan-girled over celebrities, and still don't, but there's something remarkably special and unique about Luke and Nicola.

I love Bridgerton, the books are great (though I've gotten stuck halfway through Fran's book). The show captured my attention in season 1. I kinda liked season 2 better and season 3 captured my heart in a weird love-hate relationship.

I LOVE Polin! I love their characters and their story. Overall season 3 is my favourite, but it also left me wanting in many ways. Their story felt rushed and overshadowed by the multitude of parallel stories they squeezed into the season. In my personal opinion.

Im also vexed that they focused so much on a redemption arch for cressida cowper. Yes giving her character more depth and context was interesting and helped Eloise grow, but selfishly, I hate that they made such a blatant, deliberately cruel bully appear that her behaviour had perfectly rationalised reasons behind her bullying.

Its typical of most on screen bullies, their behaviour is rationalised in some way to make the bullying and gaslighting behaviour seem more normalised and acceptable. But urgh, bullies also know right from wrong and have the ability to choose their behaviour. That's the point of bullies, they know that what they are doing is deliberately targeting someone to belittle, to verbally, emotionally, physically abuse to boost their own fragile psyche. And tbh, rationalising a bullies behaviour irks me. In some ways, story arcs like this emphasise that bullying behaviour is socially acceptable irl when it's not.

I love the Mondrich's, and know the writers were setting up their story for season 4, but imo their story was superfluous to Polins story and season.

Benedict is one of my favourite characters, but I would have preferred they explored more of his artistic bohemian side rather than the direction they took with his story, which imo was just uncomfortable to watch. (They're the only scenes i fast-forward every time I rewatch S3).

Controversial opinion: Fran's story was boring. It really lacked energy and chemistry. The actors and acting is great, but imo the translation of Fran's story was lacking. I loved the scene where the Queen finds her playing the piano. There's a scene in episode 5 after the reading of the banns where Fran has an envious look on her face when Violet hugs Pen. Then in Episode 6 Fran's tantrum at the ball because Violet is scared to speak to the Queen... I get the nuance of the scene and the story arch, but feel they could have explored Fran's story differently. Plus I selfishly just wanted more Polin, I think they didn't need to go Into so much depth with Fran's story... yet. They could have brushed over her story more quickly and built In flash backs or something to future seasons, especially as Fran's full story is not going to be explored until Season 6 (if we get a season 6).

And of course Polin are my Favourites and I just wanted more of their story. I feel like they spent too much time in part 2 being angry and distant with other. I feel like they could have had 10 episodes to explore Polin's story because they packed it with so many sub-plots and so much angst.

Also, if the speculation about the deleted intimate scenes are true, it adds to my disappointment, because they hyped the steaminess of this season and what we got was good, but fizzled in part 2 due to all the angst and I wanted more exploration of how their enduring friendship transcended into their love story. Not just steam, but the intimacy of their friendship into love.

I could go on for days, but the last thing I will say in this post about s3, is that I wish they had focused more on Polin during their wedding breakfast dance rather than the frequent cuts to other characters. That dance was stunning but the way it was edited it together was just annoying. The BTs of lukola rehearsing that dance was ... on fire and magical.

This post is already far too long so I will try to keep this short.

Lukola individually are talented and come across as lovely people, but together, they are magic. Imo.

What i will say is that imo there's always been something weird, uncomfortable even, about A's presence and L's presentation around her.

The same for N and Jd.

I know what people say about JD and I am not disagreeing. However I don't know the truth of the situationships. I have my speculations which I will not share out of respect to the persons themselves.

What i will say, is that neither N or L light up the same when they are with A /JD in comparison to when they are with each other. They are like each others beacons, or north stars and its been an absolute delight to see something so rare captured on screen.

Watch the compilations of the WT on YouTube, there is sooo much nuance to be gleamed by their interactions with each other that simply doesn't compare to other seasons leads, or even other shows with romantic leads, let alone with A/JD.

Suffice to say Im firmly seated on the viewing deck of the ship and just watching to see where the journey takes us.

Im not hugely in to social media so I am however confused about two things:

1) a lot of posts have a belief that L &N got together during or even before the WT?

2) that N came away from the WT with a souvenir, (when would that have happened?) And possibly the stork delivered the souvenir in the first 10 days of this month?

Im not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing, Im just curious and confused.

[crguang]

Do you think Shalom is also suitable for the violinist AU? I really love Shalom, but I can't imagine the scenario, will dig into that once I have free time. 2 days ago, I was scrolling my twitter and found an acc that posted something interesting regarding Shalom. That account said, as we look into Shalom's chat in the voice pack, she is afraid that we will leave her, but I don't quite understand why. This is potential. Hmm hmmm

-🎹

ran this by the Shalom Interpersonal Affairs council (sev) and we actually came up with a whole college of performing arts AU for ptn….. it’s kind of a rich university and shalom plays the cello in the school’s orchestra, she’s perfect when it comes to technique, memorization, finesse, things like that so she’s always been told her playing was perfect. on a technical standpoint, it is. the university is affiliated with paradeisos, with whom she’s obtained her scholarship from like one of those corporate scholarships. so she very much represents paradeisos and is repeatedly told to act like it. she’s calm, eloquent, a good listener and an overall sweet girl but the people around her don’t know her at all, shes very good at redirection and never shares too much of herself but ppl don’t really notice that she only makes them talk about themselves. she’s pretty studies focused and disinterested by romance, not because she doesn’t want to experience it but it just never happened for her. here comes the fun part hehe— R is a transfer student that gets here during the winter semester. they’re studying to be a conductor and they take that very seriously. people are surprised they were even able to work with the orchestra considering that inscriptions happen during the fall, and they dont look all that special. some of them probably make bets on how long they’ll last. turns out R is FREAKISHLY talented at like. hearing every single part of a harmony which makes them an insane conductor, and they’re not afraid to call out slackers who they think have no place in their orchestra. when shalom witnesses them in action for the first time it’s literally love at first sight— heart racing, fingertips trembling, she’s holding her breath and her eyes are wide kind of visceral reaction… she’s touched in a way nothing has touched her before. absolutely does not know what to do with herself. and when the orchestra performs for the first time with R as a witness, they zero in on her in particular. afterwards, they take her apart and tells her she sounds empty. there’s no soul in her art. it’s irritating. there are no emotions when she plays and they can hear it and they hate it.

im rambling but ughjhgjgjgg theyre so. theyre so good. shalom goes through a lot of firsts with R; first real connection, first fantasies, first person to see her for who she is, etc. it’s just cute… me when a character sees the world in brighter colors in the presence of another character 😵😵😵

for the orchestra members so far we’ve got: ariel on piano, eirene on violin, lamia on double bass, coquelic on viola, hamel on harp but she still dances cause i’d never do this to my baby, cassia clarinet, cabernet oboe… chelsea’s in there somehow but she has no instrument as of yet. and of course shalom on cello hehe. some of them frequently attend the zoya/bai yi/eleven/serpent band’s concerts when they perform in bars

i love this au a lot and its only like 2 weeks old… your asks always spark creativity i really love that 😭

forgot to mention but about the voice line— i would say chief is the only thing that connects shalom to her humanity/emotions, like she was “reborn” (not anew but rather re-became a version of how she was before) because of chief. they’re extremely important to her as the person who’s given her her freedom. she still struggles to see herself as more than a tool with a predestined end, and she also believes that chief’s end is destined in a similar way for what they represent, so she’s attached to them while trying to come to terms with the fact that they’ll die and she wont be able to do anything about it. in a way, outside of paradeisos, shalom has nothing but chief— in her point of view. she didnt expect rahu to stick by her bc she didnt think rahu cared. she probably doesnt expect a thing from christina either. so to me idk, it makes sense for her to want chief to stay by her side

[yourlocalstilinski-valdez]

this is ai dw 😅 off pinterest.

ready for the concert tonight? i’ve got all my bags packed. let’s hope i remember toothpaste this time. harry laughed at me for forgetting last time. so i had to use his. it was almost empty… outrageous!!!

we got a cheaper hotel this go around… deals are hot. harry helped me find one that was not only priced decently, but near enough to tonight’s venue. at this rate, they’re gonna move us up to VIP! sick!!!

what to expect tonight? well, harry might fall. niall might barf. zayn’s gonna laugh at all of it. i guess we’ll have to depend on louis to keep the show going. or barely try to 🙄

just try not to cry too much when they start to play walking in the wind to end the liam tribute segment of the show, when all the lights go out and all you see are the phone lights… magical and chilling stuff, that. i’m never ready for it.

let’s also hope (fingers crossed!) that plane flies overhead tonight. and speaking of planes. yawn. i still haven’t 100% recovered from the jetlaggedness. not something you can just simply shake off, im afraid. it’s like a cold. let time do its thing. work its magic or something like that.

i guess that’s all for now. see you tonight bestie/girlie!! <3 get some rest!!!

(see i’m envisioning the 1d comeback as kind of like an eras tour kinda deal, where they play like 5-7 songs from each album and then some impromptu stuff. and they have a tribute part for li every night near the end of the show. obviously they end it with a light note. but. i just think it would be cool y’know?)

So ready for the concert!! If you forgot toothpaste, I made sure to bring a tube(and it's full, dw) Closer to the venue just means more time to get ready while listening to their entire discography(do other people listen to the band they're just about to see in concert?) Harry does fall a lot on stage... Hopefully Nialler won't barf and absolutely rocks it tonight, and Louis will most definitely be laughing along with Zayn up there. Walking in the Wind is such a beautiful song to play for Liam, I bet he'll be looking down on the concert and his boys with a smile ❤️

(a 1d eras tour would be so cool)

[synthaphone]

Do you mind if I ask what kind of clay you use for your sculptures? I recently tried to get into clay sculpting and I thought that I had gotten good clay but it seems like no matter what I do it doesn't look smooth and I just leave dents, bumps, and fingerprints all over it. It might just be me being new and bad at the craft, though (like should I be wearing gloves?) But if the clay does make a difference, the kind you use looks nice ;o;

I don’t mind at all!

I use oven bake polymer clay for my sculptures! For the ones I paint, I use a combination of Super Sculpey (peach colored) and Super Sculpey Firm (grey colored). i usually use the former for the base of the sculpture, and then the firmer clay for small details and areas that I want to give a little extra strength.

I find i have the worst issues with fingerprints when i use the type of Sculpey that comes in white- its a lot softer than the Super variants (and also more brittle in its baked form). I used some for the white parts of this sculpture I made in 2019, and its a lot less smooth than my more recent sculptures

BUT! I’ve also started doing some stuff in recent years that could potentially help with getting a smoother look on any variety of sculpey!

i started baking my sculptures in stages- sculpey can be rebaked multiple times without too much trouble, and this helps prevent me from leaving fingerprints on or squishing parts while im working on another part of the sculpture (although too many times and it can start to look burnt, so if youre not painting it you’ll want to watch out for this). it can be a little difficult to get unbaked clay to stick to the baked clay though, so i use the oven bake glue sculpey makes to help adhere it

I started using fine grit sandpaper on baked sculptures to smooth out unwanted lumps and fingerprints. this can work really well, especially on larger smooth areas where theres less danger of accidentally snapping something off. if you try it, you probably want to wear a dust mask and do this somewhere ventilated, because breathing the clay dust seems like a bad idea.

My friend gifted me this set of clay tools, and the one with the pointy blue silicone tip has been super helpful for smoothing over small areas that my fingers cant reach.

i found out like, a month ago? that you can use rubbing alcohol on unbaked sculpey to smooth out fingerprints, and it works SO well. just test it out first on sculpey with added pigments, like the little packs that come in bright colors- i tried it out with some gold sculpey that had glitter in it and it didnt work as well there as it does on the super sculpey/super sculpey firm- with the gold it felt like the alcohol was like, catching the pigment and glitter bits and giving the clay a weird filmy appearance. but i just put a little onto the sculpture with my finger or the silicone tool and it really helps smoothing out the surface!

sorry for the long answer, and that its only really relevant for one type of clay- i hope that it can potentially be helpful though!!

[dilophosaurus-rex]

Hey, you did an ama about transitioning in a community I’m not part of, so I hope I can ask this way: does bottom growth hurt as much as (cis)people Try to make me believe, and does hair growth gel/cream actually work? And if you have experience with It, any brand recommendations?

(Additional bonus question: how to I figure out a good packer size and What is a good price for one/ were do I even look? Etsy?)

Im a pre-T late teen but socially transitioned for 4-5 years and like to belive I pass somewhat well, at least I never got in trouble in men’s bathrooms.

If you respond, could you please tag me?

Have a nice day :)

@charlesartthings

Totally fine to send an ask!

Idk where the heck this whole "bottom growth is pain n suffering" thing is coming from, u arent the first person I've seen worried about it.

There -might- be some minor growing aches at first, it's temporary and u can just take like, an ibuprofen or something. Honestly growing boobs hurt waaaay worse 🤷‍♂️

---

I did use minoxidil on my face for a bit in the early days on T. It can help, but my skin is too sensitive, gave me like a chemical burn/rash. Ymmv.

Also i think its dangerous to cats? So if you have kitties don't let them near ur face for a while after you use it.

Unfortunately the best thing is just time. My beard didn't really pop off until around year 4ish? The time will pass anyway but the waiting sucks when you're in it.

---

Packing is the best! Makes me way more confident and comfortable.

Packer size depends a lot on

1. Your size/weight, Im essentially a short king gay bear so i tend to go for slightly bigger ones. Feels natural to have the bulge match the belly lol

2. Your pants situation. Tighter clothes=smaller packer. Unless you're going for the Boner Look on purpose lol

I have a few different size ones i use for different situations. Am i going to a job interview? Visiting family? The bar? Chilling at home?

I'm also a furry (if it wasn't obvious from the icon lol) so my silicone recommendations are mostly from small furry businesses. My absolute favorite one is Lennex the dancing Bear from Kudu Voodoo.

If i had only my two sizes of Lennex (small and mini) id be perfectly fine for any situation tbh. The mini is Really small I use it for tight pants or if I'm in polite company.

I wouldn't spend less than like $35-40 on a packer. You can find cheaper ones but. You wanna be careful about the Quality of something that's pressed up against your neithers all day.

You dont need money to pack tho if you arent sure it's for you yet!

I started off with just using a rolled up sock in a jock strap under my boxers when i was,, 16ish ?

The jock strap-under-boxers setup is still my go-to when im packing! Learned the hard way you want something keeping it secure when i was around your age and my first packer fell out of my pant-leg at a McDonald's lmfao

I have a few pairs of underwear with the packing pouch which is nice, but tbh its usually not quite tight enough and it flops around or rotates more than id like.

[cy-cyborg]

So going to turn the tables here a bit and ask other disabled people a question:

You know those really over-the-top sports animes? The ones where someone hits the ball so hard it explodes and other out-there (but usually fun) nosense things? Could you do that with disability sports without it becoming inspiration-porn and/or just an entire cast of super-crips?

Because on the one hand, yeah if you had disabled characters doing a lot of the stuff you see in these anime series, it would be pretty blatant examples of these tropes. On the other hand though, it's literally a defining part of the genre (at least, it's in all the sports anime I've seen) and by definition, it is applied to non-disabled characters too. One of the biggest problems with both super-crips and inspiration porn is that they end up with those powers/plot-points specifically because they're disabled, which wouldn't necessarily be the case here if it's handled well. Using wheelchair basketball players for example (becaaue its the sport i played lol), by the tropes of the genre, their shots can cause explosions and summon magic dragons but so long as its not erasing/minimising their disability/implying they cant play without the over-the-top magic stuff, it might be fine? Likewise, every sports anime I've seen has at least one big inspirational speech about the power of teamwork and never giving up, but you could have chatacters do that without it being about their disability/uplifting the non-disabled characters. the big concern there would be the audience interpreting it as being inspirational because they're disabled anyway.

There's also the fact that, while it might fall into those tropes, disability sports don't get portrayed as action-packed very often. The only times I've seen it on TV it's portrayed as "like [insert abled version of the sport] but slow and requires no skill" and honestly it would be really cool to see it portrayed in such a fun, over-the-top way. it could also help push back against the misconceptions about disability sports that a lot of people have, like the one above (because trust me, as a former disabled sportsperson, that's a common beleif irl too).

This is mostly a jokey post but I remeber having this conversation with my old roomate (who's also a wheelchair basketball player) because there was a rumour about a sports-anime-style game about the paralypics circulating when we lived together. I assume the rumour was false or the game was cancelled because we never heard anything about it after that, but we couldn't come to a consensus back then either about weather this was a good idea or not, and im curious what other disabled folks think.

With careful handling (and a disabled-lead writing team behind the scenes) could it work, or are the tropes/expectations of the sports-anime genre too much of an issue?

[moonbiscuitsims]

Cyberpunk mods blablabla

Dear me I sold my soul to the devil and downloaded a bunch of mods for cp2077 (before i only had CET and skip radio song mod)

Down side: part of me is regretting it instantly because if there's a patch surely they'll all break and they were a bit of a nightmare to install compared to sims im ngl but finally figured out that some "required mods" are actually just tools, like xml injector or whatever... and a lot of these tools mods are for many others so once you've installed the main ones you don't need to worry so much, but at first this wasn't clear to me at all...you have to install mods in like five billion different paths for them to work properly and if you dont have those tool mods installed the path isn't there, so it seems like you're installing the same mod 5 times but its just the path, anyway, finally i get it

I made myself a little document to log all the mods i have to make things easier cause there's no way ill remember everything i did, plus backed up my folders first in case. Good side: another part of me is super chuffed and happy with them, I installed photomode unlocked, custom pose packs and facial expressions, unlock all outfits, equipment ex (more slots for outfits, didn't really want this but it was required to unlock outfits and it is kind of cool) which took me a while to figure out too (my clothing was clipping until i realised you set your own layers) and finally seeing v pose differently, or be able to change the outfit right in photomode, or be able to have infinite outfit slots, being able to layer the outfits more than usual, etc... it is pretty cool, this part of me kind of regrets not being brave enough to try it before i started my cosplay project or any of my other screenshots now with a bunch of my pics having the same poses and expressions, but i think its also cool i did it with a vanilla game to show that you can be creative without mods all the time. Mods are good when you grow tired of vanilla game i guess. But honestly some of the features i just think why arent they already in the game? There were some other cool photomode mods that I might try later on but for now they intimidate me a bit, i want to get used to what i've installed so far.

[simmila]

Hello hi hi! I hope you are having a good day today.

-- tl;dr: Pack still in progress, but will be a large one. Still don't know when it will be finished/released.

For the ones that want more info:

As i said, this pack is something bigger than my previous ones. I wanted to divide it in more parts so i could release them more frequently, but in this case i feel that its not the ideal thing to do. I wanted to do a "museum" pack, but i don't want it to be just items that you can place in a museum, but a complete pack that has all you need for the museum itself (maybe not the bathroom or dining areas, but for exhibits and such). And its taking me a lot of time.

The dinosaurs themselves take a lot of time compared to clutter items or even furniture. I tried to make them simplified at first, but noticed that i can make these more complex meshes without making them hiper-high poly. And i'm really proud of the results! but of course, making them like these take more time than im used to.

Same as the signs and info displays. Could i use Ai or steal art from pinterest? yes, that would make it easier and faster. But i'm a person that is heavily against the use of Ai generated images (nop, they are not art!) and i also dislike when people just grab images from small artists and paste it on their work without giving proper credits to the artists. Thats not what i want to do with my cc, so im just drawing all my info signs with my wacom, and trying my best to give credits to the paleoartist im basing my work on (in a way thats not disruptive to the cc either) and using my own in-game edited screenshots from Prehistoric Kingdom. I know that some of you won't notice the difference or won't care in either case, and thats valid, i prefer to take a bit more time to work, in a way that aligns with my values.

This pack already has +20 items, but since this is a "dream pack" of mine, i just want to deliver the best i can. I'm still learning features and new ways to improve quality, and i really hope that you can see it while using my items in your game. Thank you for your patience, and i really think it's worth the wait!

If you've read this far i really appreaciate it, thank you for reading and for supporting my work. As always if you want to ask anything or share a comment feel free to do so, or if you want u can ask me! For now, i cannot assure you when this will come out, but i'm happy if you can stick around until its ready :)

Again, thank you so much for the patience, and i'll be here if you need to know anything!

With love, simmila <3.