#<- tag for organization purposes ofc

[twi-writes]

Here is your card for Bad Things Happen Bingo. Happy writing!

-

finally, FINALLY i am digging this thing out of the drafts after three years of having it (??!! holy shit lmao) since i have a fic for one of these squares that is very close to being published soon 👀

[shrinkthisviolet]

☔️ for the wip game?

☔: Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Ooh I have a ton of these, under the tag concept ask game, but I’m also super intrigued by the idea of Lucy being raised by Padmé’s family instead of Obi-Wan! I gave an explanation in this fic as to why that couldn’t happen (I needed to have Obi-Wan raise her, after all), but I think it would be interesting to explore!

She’d probably be raised as Ryoo and Pooja’s little sister, shrewd in politics like Padmé (despite Sola and Jobal’s attempts to steer her away…and probably to Ruwee’s delight)…and she’d likely befriend Leia first if she enters the Senate as Naboo’s representative.

(She’d also be on Palpatine and/or Vader’s radar, due to being from Naboo, raised by the Naberries, and bearing a striking resemblance to one Padmé Amidala…but hey, Leia resembled her too, and she made it through. The Naberries could protect Lucy too, if they were charged with her protection).

wip ask game!

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. Chapter 2:

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess… more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

More chapters on AO3

---------------------------------------------

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn’t take much today to blow my fuse, which had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week of being belittled by old white men and working endless hours of unpaid overtime, I’d about had it.

Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are brutal and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art. You’ve got good organizational skills, you’re resilient, charming when it counts, and you tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn’t. It’s too late to turn back now.

"That’s why I don’t use an agenda or notebook. If something’s important enough for me to attend, I simply won’t forget. I know you youngsters are all about bullet journaling and expressing yourselves by mapping out your lives, but really it’s just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work."

For a second, I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer’s face, but that probably wouldn’t have helped my CV or the new job I’d have to look for starting tomorrow. At the very least, I should’ve screamed at him a little. Mainly that I didn’t care. That I had PMS. That my shitty shower in the shitty apartment I shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning. That goddamn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I’d organized if I couldn’t write it down somewhere.

Instead, I smiled. Died a little inside. Complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he’d like another cup of coffee.

“What a dick.” Samantha murmured, more to herself than to me, once the guy had finally left. It made me snort under my breath. She usually didn’t say much, but when she did, it was straight to the point.

In the end, it didn’t matter that he was a dick. Didn’t matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he’d bought from us over the last few months had been neither smart nor impressive purchases. Just expensive. And flashy.

“Doesn’t matter now.” I said with a sigh, glancing at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday, I’d taken two days off, the longest break I’d had all year, and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be.

In silence, we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers coming in over the weekend wouldn’t suspect anyone had actually been working here. A white desk. A huge iMac on it. That was all they needed to see. Folders, pens, and apparently especially agendas had to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight, I threw on my coat and Samantha gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me. Just exhausted.

“Have fun then? Don’t get too wasted?”

“Oh…” I grinned, smug. “You have no idea. Gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of '90s Euro Trash.”

I couldn’t help it, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had even a small audience. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me made me turn around fast, slowly lowering my arms. Sam bit her lower lip, and there I was, standing like an idiot in front of HIM, of all people.

Men didn’t have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were usually the ones that pissed me off most, but no one had managed to do so quite like Kim Namjoon lately.

And now he was standing there, looking me up and down, stopping at my hair. The crazy, too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke hair.

“Nice.” he said, then looked over at Sam.

“I’d like to take a last look before Sunday’s opening, if that’s okay?”

I stood there, shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

“Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I’ll need to be home by then.” Samantha replied, impressively calm.

“Of course.” Namjoon said with a slight smile. “Anyone else still around? Chris, maybe?”

Of course, Chris hadn’t been in today. It was Friday, and unless important guests had announced themselves, the gallery owner didn’t come in on Fridays.

“I’m afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?”

Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed.

“Wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans.” Namjoon said before I could get a word in. His voice dropped to that hushed, deep disapproval, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his rather expensive-looking coat. Silence. Then he just walked off toward the room where his exhibition had been set up all week, showing without saying it that I’d be staying, whether I liked it or not.

“Well, thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it.”

“I’m so sorry. But I was serious. I can’t lose this sitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. Vegetables!”

Samantha was suddenly in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse, showering me with promises to make it up to me. We both knew that wouldn’t happen and it wasn’t necessary. Staying late was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would’ve followed the artist, asked if I could help somehow, but nah… My ego was bruised up enough already - especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes.

Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite.

I’d thought he was cool for about five minutes when he first came in. We’d heard about him for a few months before. I think I’d even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to seeing him in real life.

He came in all cheekbones and an all-gray outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He also completely ignored me.

That's how it started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot.

I had studied art and its management, but often felt more like a glorified secretary. My colleagues and I were doing all the behind-the-scenes work while Chris strolled in for a few hours, reaped all the money, and got the recognition. I knew this wasn’t unique to the art world, but it still got under my skin... I’d imagined life in my late twenties to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to finally leave so I could lock up.

But what I probably hated most about him was that I admired him. Purely for his art. Really. Even the way he acted like I didn’t exist every time he came in didn’t stop me from admitting that - at least to myself. The stories behind his massive collages were clever, well thought-out. And even without knowing the context, the aesthetics alone were stunning. His work reached into something deep, and standing in front of it, I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece, I was the first to sneak a peek in the back before it got hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He’s just... quiet. I think he might even be shy. Stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks ago. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Words like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which would, of course, be perceived as even more sensitive. But when had being numb become something to aim for? I didn’t say anything because I liked Sam, and I knew what she meant. At least I thought I did. That maybe I wouldn’t care so much if I wasn’t actually attracted to Namjoon. I’d never said it, but she knew. She knew that if I didn’t care about something, I didn’t waste my time on it. But if something pissed me off? Yeah, there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. Still, he was a dick. And I still just wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour, I walked up to him, a little speech prepared about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around, he just lifted a hand between us like a barrier and turned away again. I hadn’t seen he was on the phone. "No, it’s nothing. Just one of the gallery employees." he said. And okay... if I wasn’t about to explode before, I definitely was now. I stood there for a moment, fuming, then walked back to the office area. My hand shook as I began switching off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as I’d hoped, but still felt good. Two minutes later, only the light above my head and the one by the door were left on. I figured I’d at least show him which way to go - he clearly needed help.

When Namjoon stepped out from one of the darker corners, he looked even more annoyed than usual. He squinted at me, his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he shouted, nearly walking into one of the flyer shelves. Not the first time I’d seen him do that, so maybe it wasn’t the lighting’s fault.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had my coat on and turned off the last two lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had just about made his way to the door. He was still on the phone, standing right in the open entrance. I gave a little groan when he didn’t even notice me standing behind him... or maybe he did and just didn’t care. Instead of clearing my throat or trying to squeeze past him, I just placed my hands on his back and gently pushed until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. For a second, he looked like he was about to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse, his eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I replied, deadpan. Then I turned back to lock the two bolts on the door and punched in the alarm code. I couldn’t help but feel smug - apparently, he knew my name. I pictured him staring at the back of my head, flustered. Couldn’t be sure though. All I knew was that when I turned around, he was still there, arms crossed over his chest, mouth set in a straight line, watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work, around people who could get you in trouble?" He had a point. He could get me in trouble. But I was too fired up, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don’t like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with that, he turned around and walked off, coat flying open in the wind. Unfortunately, it made him look cool. I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I didn’t say another word, just walked off in the opposite direction - only to realize minutes later that my car was the other way. Still, I kept walking for a bit before turning back. It took a while to calm down. Only cuddling up with my cat in front of some trash TV finally did the job. But by then, I’d realized something I wasn’t sure I liked. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah, I should’ve just played it cool. That would’ve been smarter in a lot of ways. But I’d also kind of... enjoyed myself. In the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense way he loomed over me... yeah, I’d piss him off on purpose. Literally.

[punkranger]

Community question of the week

Who is your Hollow Ground? Talk about them a bit, share some art of them. Are you going to ally with your Hollow Ground, or beat them to a pulp in the next entry? Do you want to be adopted as their sibling? Do you want to become allies? Or destroy them and take their place?

Also tagging @kittlesandbugs you wanna do this!

Antoine's Hollow Ground has yet to be named, I'm waiting until the last minute because names are hard and if possible I want to learn a bit more about him first. From Antoine's perspective he is vain, dangerous and yet strangely likeable, though he'd never say the last two out loud. Right now they have a tenuous, threaded, alliance where there's some mutual understanding regarding goals (increase their influences), some agreement regarding method (do whatever is necessary, though HG would probably prefer a permanent solution more often than Antoine) and a little bit of trust (ofc Antoine's sense of trust is probably a lot different from what HG was expecting, it also doesn't keep Antoine from annoying him on purpose or punching him in the face if he gets annoyed).

In my mind, Hollow Ground takes more interest in their similarities than Antoine does and actively looks into it to see if it's a threat firstly, and secondly, a small part of him might be hoping the resemblance is what he wants it to be and it's his sibling who is back. But for now their relationship is more coworkers than family and even if Hollow Ground accepts more of Antoine's shitty attitude than he should, there's still a chance he might cut all ties if it turns out to be more trouble than it's worth, but he'll look into this resemblance first to be sure.

As for what Antoine wants... he doesn't have a plan. At the moment he trusts Hollow Ground to at least not stab him in the back, and maybe he does have a few assets that could be helpful, so an alliance it is, even if this guy is annoying and pretentious. Antoine doesn't wish to take over his organization, he'd rather destroy it if he has to, but for some reason he feels Hollow Ground is better as an ally than an enemy, and he has less of the former since the crash so it's better to be safe than sorry. How Antoine will react to realising he's been manipulated is another question.

[darkspicyevanstan]

Welcome to a Dark & Spicy Evanstan Fest!

This event is dedicated to top!Chris Evans/bottom!Sebastian Stan and the various characters they've played over the years. Get your dark & spicy fix here! 😈

The fest will be an ongoing, low pressure, event where you can choose from all sorts of prompts to inspire your next piece of fiction.

The prompt lists will be continuously updated so be sure to check those out.

More information available below the cut!

⚡️ Rules ⚡️

→ No minors allowed due to the explicit/mature themes that will be featured in participating works.

→ This event will focus on any top!Chris Evans character paired with any bottom!Sebastian Stan character. Yes this event will include Real Person Fiction (Actor RPF, MCU RPF, etc.). Switching and polyships are not allowed here. Ex: Steve/Bucky/Sam, Lloyd/Reader/Nick, Chris/OFC/Sebastian, Ransom/OMC/Max, etc.

→ There are no content restrictions in this event. Yes, this includes all manner of dark fiction and dead dove themes. As long as everything this tagged appropriately, you can write whatever you want.

→→ If you come across a fic with themes you don't like, simply click away.

→ No word minimum or maximum.

→ One prompt per chapter/oneshot.

→ "Choose not to warn" fics are allowed. Once again, make sure anything triggering is appropriately tagged.

→ Make sure that the submission you're using for this event is completely new. However, a new chapter/piece in an already in progress fic/series is acceptable.

⚡️ Challenge Mode ⚡️

→ Double Challenge mode: 1 AU + 1 Trope

→→ Triple Challenge mode: 1 AU + 1 Creature + 1 Trope

→→→ Quadruple Challenge mode: 1 AU + 1 Creature + 1 Literary Form + 1 Trope

⚡️ Posting ⚡️

→ Make sure to tag the blog using @darkspicyevanstan and #dark and spicy evanstan fest so your works can get reblogged!

→ To be reblogged, if you post your works directly to tumblr, use the keep reading feature if your submission goes over 250 words.

→ If you use platforms outside of Tumblr to publish, you may post your works to the AO3 and Squidge collections!

⚡️ Format ⚡️

As long as the requirements below are somewhere in your tumblr posts, your submissions will be reblogged!

Title of Submission Pairing Rating Warnings Prompt(s) Used Link

⚡️ Masterlists ⚡️

If you would like a masterlist of your work to be posted onto the blog, separate them by months. This way, it'll be easier for organization purposes.

→ Masterlist Submission Form

⚡️ Masterlist Format ⚡️

Title of Tumblr Post: Dark & Spicy Evanstan [Month] Masterlist

Title of Work [Insert Fic Link]

- Prompt(s) Used

Once again, as long as the information above is on your masterlist it will get posted onto the blog.

⚡️ Memo ⚡️

→ Cross-posting with other events is allowed and encouraged.

→ If you'd like to use a beta reader, feel free!

This event is meant to be fun and inspiring, so please enjoy yourselves! Feel free to send an ask if you have any questions.

Dark & Spicy Mod

[slayerdurge]

OC Tag Game

Tagged by @andrewknightley (Thanks!! These were fun & useful for developing backstory!)

Tagging @merge-conflict, @shadows-aflame, @luvwich, and @loratheris (no pressure ofc as always!)

I have a lot of OCs I could potentially answer these for, but I'm gonna go with my Durge just because she's my primary fixation right now.

Name: The name she grew up with was Carissa Tennebraum, but she hasn't used it since she was a teenager & the Urge took over for the first time, leading her to massacre not just her foster parents but their entire household of servants & guards. Ironically, she was actually going to do it herself if the Urge hadn't beat her to it. The Urge had been whispering to her for a while, and she was very interested in what it had to say, but she wanted to do it carefully so she wouldn't get caught and well... the Urge was not patient, especially not once she started encouraging it. When she came out of the black out, she was annoyed at the mess and carelessness but also kinda amazed... she hadn't realized she was capable of taking down so many people all at once. Anyway, she had to hightail it outta there and leave that entire identity behind (except technically she uses the name in a few legal documents since she was eventually able to lay claim to her foster parents' inheritance).

Alias: Everyone at the Bhaal Temple and any other notable acquaintances in Baldur's Gate know her as The Dark Urge. She didn't actually acquire "Durge" as a nickname until after the tadpole. Astarion was complaining that "The Dark Urge" was a mouthful to say and asked if they couldn't just call her something else. She refused, but then Shadowheart suggested combining the two words and just calling her "Durge." (She was still sort of annoyed that Durge had commented that "Shadowheart" was a weird name even though her own name is "The Dark Urge".) She expected Durge would hate it but she was actually okay with that, so it's what they all ended up using.

Gender: Slayer Female

Sexual orientation: Honestly, the most accurate label is probably "demisexual" though she definitely wouldn't refer to herself that way. She would say that sex is just one weapon among many in her arsenal of manipulation, but that she's never felt physical pleasure while engaging in the act (and in fact that only time she's ever felt that kind of pleasure was after a particularly vicious kill). She would also say that it's stupid of most people to get tangled up in romantic relationships and that if she had those kinds of urges, she'd be smart about it and just get her needs met at a brothel and never have to see that person again. Then at some point after she'd known Gortash for a while, he was going on about some breakthrough he'd had in his latest Torment Nexus design and gesturing excitedly with those gauntleted hands of his and she had an "Oh Shit" moment that she would proceed to deny vehemently for the next few years.

Age: 43, though since she's a half-elf she ages slower physically than humans do.

Spoken language: It's D&D... so... Common. 😂 Does not actually know Elvish. Does know several exotic/underground languages that she's picked up as potentially useful in her studies and experiences (draconic, infernal, abyssal, thieves' cant, that kinda thing). (I couldn't confirm for sure exactly which ones without further backstory consideration, but definitely at least a couple along those lines.)

Occupation: She ran the Bhaalist cult like the mafia. Combining ritual sacrifice with paid assassination is just good business sense, and she spread their influence to the other roguish organizations of the city and even to legitimate business fronts for laundering purposes. They always had plenty of money. The whole "sewer rat" thing was for secrecy and intimidation, not out of necessity.

FAVORITE:

Color: Black, red, & gold, in that order. Wouldn't admit to it, but also finds herself drawn to the bluish-green Banite signature color (aka Stillmaker's color).

Entertainment: Murder

Pastime: Murder

Food: She has an active preference for meat over any other food group, and an active preference for the meat of intelligent beings over the meat of animals.

Drink: In classic bizarre contrast with her favorite food... fine expensive wine.

HAVE THEY...

Passed university: Nope. Throughout childhood, she had a chain of private tutors that constantly had to be swapped out because she kept excelling faster than any of them were prepared for. After the Urge, she just focused on learning from private study & actual life experiences.

Had sex: Yes, many times with various people whenever it happened to be the best tactic toward getting something she needed or wanted. And, after several years of denial, eventually with Enver. It only ever meant something to her with him. Post-tadpole, she has sex with several of her camp mates (and also The Emperor) but it is only done as a method to gain their favor and try to make them more loyal to her than to the others. She only does this with the ones that don't seem like they care much about monogamy since she doesn't want the tactic to backfire and actually lead to resentment (so she sleeps with Lae'zel and Minthara, not Astarion since she could tell she could actually manipulate his trust more effectively by not having sex with him, and not Shadowheart since she never seemed interested and never really trusted Durge anyway). None of it lasts once they start expressing a desire for any sort of exclusivity. It's similar with The Emperor. She wanted to make sure he preferred her over the others and would chose to protect her from the Netherbrain over them if it came down to a group schism of any sort.

Had sex in public: Maybe? She wouldn't flinch from the concept, but it would really just depend on if there was some reason to do it that way.

Gotten tattoos: No

Gotten piercings: No

Gotten scarred: Yes, most notably one on her neck and one across her face. She got them from Enver on the sole occasion where she lost control of her Urge while she was with him and tried to kill him. He fought back, and when he drew blood, the Urge was so shocked that he'd actually been able to get a hit in that it jarred her back into conscious control of herself. She could've had the scars removed, but she chose not to. She liked having them as a reminder of his strength and that he was far from helpless against her Urge.

Had a broken heart: She's had moments where she's experienced sadness of some sort but I wouldn't really say that's the right phrasing for it.

ARE THEY...

A cuddler: Yes, to her great shame. It took her & Enver years to touch each other for the first time, and then afterwards they just... would not stop. And as if that wasn't bad enough, it wasn't even just sex. Turns out he's actually very physically affectionate in a distressingly casual way... always running his hands over her bare shoulders or caressing her face... by the time they met Ketheric, they were driving him absolutely insane with their levels of PDA. In hindsight, she might've seen this coming. She'd never really "counted" it as any sort of intimacy, but she was always really physically affectionate with Sceleritas. He always liked to ride on her back or sit on her lap... and now that she thinks of it when she was in Slayer form, sometimes they'd kinda cuddle up like puppies... sorry, excuse her, she has to go pray. A lot. And do some ritual sacrifice. And maybe kill Sceleritas a couple times.

Scared easily: No, definitely not easily. Would not be a proper Bhaalspawn if she was. Wouldn't have made it past the first month, much less the first year. Good at maintaining her composure even if facing something dangerous enough to actually frighten her.

Jealous easily: Nope. She's too self-assured to really have a problem with jealousy. A worthy opponent is a good thing. It's an opportunity to learn. Jealousy is not nearly as effective a motivator as greed.

Trustworthy: Not at all. She lies easily and often and shamelessly. That being said, she doesn't usually lie for no reason (unless she's just being sadistic and trying to fuck with someone she finds pathetic), so she is very much capable of forming specific genuine alliances and fulfilling her end of the deal faithfully (and not just with Enver either, she is generally able to do this with anyone with whom it makes sense to do so).

FAMILY:

Parents/siblings: The Tennebraums were a wealthy couple living in Baldur's Gate Upper City who couldn't conceive and who wanted to adopt a half elf orphan girl because they liked the idea of having a child that was exotic but not too exotic and they thought elves were kinda pretty and it was cool that they stayed young for so long. Bhaal specifically picked them out to be the naive hosts who would raise his brood parasite until she was old enough to find her real Father. He wanted her to be raised as part of high society so that she would be able to blend in seamlessly when necessary and gain the element of surprise, and he trusted that her Urge would ensure she would never become too comfortable or complacent in that setting. She exceeded his expectations by every metric. She never loved her foster parents and found them to be shallow and pathetic, but she knew how to wrap them around her little finger well enough to ensure that they always adored her and gave her the best treatment possible. She felt no remorse when the Urge took them, only irritation that it hadn't happened exactly the way she'd planned it.

Children: If her Father told her that he needed her to create more Bhaalspawn, of course she would do it. She'd either find a worthy partner, or if he chose one for her, she'd get it done, and she'd raise the children as proper Bhaalspawn. But since he never asked that of her, she focused her attention on his ultimate purpose of world annihilation instead.

Now, my "end game" for her is she resists Bhaal at the very end (after having embraced her urge the entire time up until then) and takes over the Netherbrain by herself & makes a deal with Bane that she'll send out her armies in his name in exchange for becoming his Chosen & getting Enver's soul back. Enver is... not exactly happy she usurped him (understatement of the decade). But he also wouldn't respect her if she hadn't taken the chance to seize power when she had it. He also was just experiencing being brutally tortured for utterly failing the god that he deeply admired & spent his life striving to impress... and she saved him. He does not know how to process this. He spent years in the House of Hope wishing someone would come rescue him before he killed that part of himself and taught himself that no one will ever come for him. That he has to save himself. He doesn't know what it means to live in a world where that isn't true. It's... complicated (second understatement of the decade). But I do think despite the massive turbulence they experience at first, they know they have to work together because pretty quickly they become so powerful that basically every deity and other influential being in Toril is plotting against them. And they do eventually reestablish their romantic and sexual relationship. And at some point they would consider having children in order to create an heir for their legacy.

I don't think they would be good parents, per say. But ironically not as bad as they could be either. Maybe it's just the voice actor influencing me, but I think Gortash would be kinda like Lucius Malfoy as a dad. He's a terrible parent in the sense that he encourages his kid to become a bully and a hateful person, but he's not actually cruel to the kid and is in fact actually often quite indulgent. Durge would be pretty much the same. How this would work out mostly depends on the personality and choices of the kid.

Another possibility though is that rather than trying to create an heir, they'd actually strive for immortality so that they would never need one and could extend their legacy themselves. Considering this is very much achievable in the D&D setting, I think they'd prefer this. It is also very heretical towards Bhaal in a way they'd enjoy since they're both Banites at this point.

Pets: Nope. She doesn't adopt Scratch, just leaves him to his own devices in the woods. Shadowheart actually suggests it ("You know, we could take him back to the camp with us. Dogs have their uses, and they are rather sweet.") but Durge rolls her eyes and says, "Of course they're sweet. We bred docility and subservience into them over generations. They should've been vicious predators, if we hadn't ripped it out of them for our own amusement." After that, Shadowheart does not make that suggestion again. As for the owl bear cub, Durge kills it during the fight with its mother. It's just another fallen creature to her, one among many and not of any particular significance. She does travel with Shovel, but Shovel is far too intelligent and willful to count as a pet. Durge does enjoy her company though, and Shovel's utterly thrilled to be with Durge since she's never had such a bloodthirsty master before.

[majorasnightmare]

15 + 25 + 21?

come off anon so i can tag u with all this GRATITUUUUUUUUUDE

15: What's their biggest struggle now that everything is over?

Managing his disabillity is a big one, but it's mostly the listlessness and lack of clear purpose, alongside reckoning with his trauma and mental illnesses. Generally its just learning how to live when his life isn't threatened, he can do more than just survive, and he isn't working to forward the aims of an abusive nihilistic murder god. He doesn't have a frame of reference to rely on! He's never lived stably, and he's never been familiar with domestic life of any kind. Its honestly a harder struggle than rallying against the Absolute for him.

25: What happened to a bunch of very peculiar weapons such as; the Fabricated Arbalest, the Stillmaker, Bloodthirst, Crimson Mischief, Ketherics Warhammer, all that fun stuff.

Dirge uses the daggers he takes from Orin's corpse to use as gravesite offerings when he sets up a memorial marker for her. They were never really his anyways. Minthara and Isobel get to pick over the remnants, between Ketheric and Orin, for their own catharsis. Dirge keeps all of Gortash's belongings for his own sentiment. Everything else is fastidiously organized in Dirge's storage, and freely accessible to anyone in the tadparty who comes knocking, but he isn't the kind to just carelessly sell or throw anything out.

Dirge keeps anything reminiscent of his past or connected to people he cares about in his own private collection (now moved out of its ribcage storage container) and occasionally pulls them out to mull over them.

21: Now as for the fun part.... Do they ever remember what exactly they did with some of the other chosen? How awkward is it or are they proud of it? Does anyone else find out? Give me the tea dammit.

Dirge never remembers more than what he gets in game. 40ish years of his life are more or less gone completely with no way to restore them. He killed everyone who ever knew him enough to have memories worth sharing, and the fragments he has left are barely enough to string together into anything. How important these people were to him, he'll never truly know, except for Orin, who he felt more than remembered.

All that being said, Gortash spilling their history to Dirge AND everyone hes close to, was god awful for Dirge. He was still parsing the information himself when everyone developed opinions about it. By that point Dirge was already developing the belief that the person he became post Nautiloid wasn't as useful or as helpful as the person he was beforehand, and that belief only gets reinforced as everyone focuses primarily on his Bhaalist days as the main defining element of who Dirge is as a person. Which is why Gortash spilled all that ofc.

I do think that Dirge has a very ill conceived threesome with Gortash and Minthara as a result of that dynamic, falling into his old habit of visiting Gortash when emotionally distraught that ends in fucking him, both because he feels like he HAS to know who he was to be worth anything to his loved ones and to justify his exisfence, and because he needs to find some kind of release for the constantly growing ball of anxiety, stress, and discontentment that isn't murder. What starts with Dirge trying to learn more about himself ends up reaffirming all the ways hes both the same person Gortash is familiar with, and someone completely different, and Gortash isn't particularly keen on that part. Minthara obviously knows (lmao), but Dirge does have to ask/explain/justify his desire to try to everyone else, primarily Karlach whos still struggling to reconcile the fact that someone she loves willingly interacted with Gortash positively in the past (ignoring how she also used to have a positive relationship with him. lmao). Karlach eventually captiulates on the grounds that Gortash doesn't have the right to keep Dirge's past from him, but she hates the idea of seeking him out without killing him for it, even conceding that Gortash is the only one who can shed light on Dirge's amnesia.

Its overall a whole big mess. Dirge only gets incomplete puzzles with barely enough edge pieces for all of them, and Orin gets the clearest picture but thats only because of their shared history in the temple. Dirge doesn't feel like hes allowed to talk about how complicated it is for him because the Chosen are so polarizing and responsible for so much trauma, so it mostly sits in his stomach like a rock and never quite goes away.

[godtier]

so i wasn't gonna make a separate post about this but @sapphire-weapon had a post (that i reblogged a few days ago) in which someone mentioned that they think it was a missed opportunity in RE6 for jake to not have spoken to wesker. i had a p long conversation with sirea about it and my thoughts about that sentiment, but it was also nearly 3 AM my time when that happened so i dunno if i was even articulating my thoughts properly lmao

and yes... this is technically a meta post and i know i said i was gonna do the mmx meta post first... but this one isn't gonna be nearly as long (i hope) and i gotta get the brainworms out before i die

(quick edit note: i reworded the list item below from saying he was "likely a drug addict" to "likely a recreational drug user" because i feel like that better encompasses what i'm trying to get across

(another edit note: i made another post regarding jake's usage of drugs that stemmed from this post! it's marked as mature bc of drug usage, so it won't show up in tag search. if you're interested in that, look here!)

so the idea that wesker being alive in OG RE6 would have brought an opportunity for jake's character is kinda, imo, antithetical to the purpose of jake's character in the first place.

when we meet jake, we know a few things about him, right off the bat:

he's a mercenary

he's likely a recreational drug user or at least heavy/risk-taking user

he doesn't give a fuck about anything but making money

his whole character journey is going from this selfish, money-focused dickhead to someone who actually cares about doing something good, just because it's the right thing to do. at the start, jake refuses to simply give his blood away when sherry mentions needing it for a vaccine. no, he wants a cash payout. 50 million dollery-doos for a pint of his blood. by the end, he lowers the price to a mere 50 dollars. one could argue that was symbolic and he actually didn't care if he was paid or not, but that's neither here nor there.

but why was he like this? because his childhood was shite; his mother was sickly, he had no father figure, and by 15-ish, jake had to learn how to hustle to keep food on the table. and by "hustle" i mean "do a bunch of mercenary work and killing people." and when shit went south with his little group of mercenaries (their entire group was sold out by a heel-turner), jake basically went "fuck alla y'all" and lost all sense of conviction or morals.

during the game, he expresses his bitterness for his father, wesker, pretty clearly. even though his mother still loved wesker, tried to raise jake to respect him despite never knowing him, it didn't matter to jake. he hated that guy. well, really, who doesn't?

we're not gonna talk about excella rn ok

jake's entire character arc is built up around this hatred as well as a subconscious fear of becoming his father. the fear part doesn't show up until later in the story, after he and sherry were captured by the Big Bad's organization. they were both experimented on for several months, during which jake overheard the researchers talking about his father, wesker. this gives jake a sort of "explanation" as to why he is the way he is; he takes the "nature" side of the nature vs nurture argument.

ofc sherry scolds his ass and basically tells him "grow up and take responsibility for your actions."

and here's the thing... this fear, narratively, works just fine without wesker being there.

(since this got obscenely long, pls continue below for the actual explanation lmao)

jake eventually comes to the conclusion that yeah no it's definitely up to him to not become wesker, not his genetics. he does this without wesker being there. that's the entire point of his character journey. in order for an interaction with wesker to even matter or have any sort of impact on jake's character arc, his character arc as a whole would need to change.

see, imo, wesker being there diminishes a lot of the power of that journey. in the game, he isn't there for jake to scream at, to question. all those thoughts in his head that might be circulating around, like why he left his mother, why he did what he did, etc, cannot be answered. this is not a bad thing in a character arc as this is shit that happens to people all the time. people don't always get the answers they may want from family members because those family members are dead. they have to learn to move on without those answers or they have to rely on people who knew that person to fill in the blanks. this is what jake already does in game. he has to rely on sherry, and by a smaller extent, chris, to fill in those blanks for him.

but we as players, observers of the narrative, already know the answers to some of those questions. why wesker did what he did, primarily. anything else is only pertinent to jake and him knowing those answers doesn't change anything for his character arc as it is.

if wesker was there in the game, what would that even add to jake's narrative? a scene where jake yells at his dad? asks him "why did you leave?" when wesker wasn't even aware that he had a kid in the first place? remember: wesker had no fucking idea that he had a child. there would be no reason for wesker to even believe jake in the first place. sure, there could be a scene where he goes "well i'll be damned, ig he really is my misfired chromosome," but... then what? what does that add?

you could argue that wesker could use jake, maybe try to manipulate him into doing shit for his plans, but... that wouldn't work with the way jake's characterization is mapped out. his entire characterization would have to change for this to work in a satisfying way.

jake already hates wesker without ever meeting him. he would not willingly participate in anything wesker offered to him. he already knows that wesker nearly destroyed the world multiple times and had a hand in destroying an entire city. even if jake has no moral compass at the start of the game, by the time he learns about what wesker really did, who he really was, he's already showing that he does have one, it was just dormant up until that point. he's clearly disgusted by what wesker did. what foothold would wesker have that wouldn't immediately result in it just falling flat?

given how wesker is, i could see him perhaps belittling jake, maybe saying "wow you suck for being my spawn," or something during a fight with the intent to rile him up. would that work? no, not narratively nor not in the way jake is characterized. again, jake doesn't want to be like wesker. why would insulting him and saying he's not "as good" as wesker expected him to be motivate jake or even anger him? it shouldn't, because jake doesn't want to be anything like wesker. if anything, it may annoy him, but that's kind of a lame reaction, right?

if anything, the most i could see culminating out of this would be jake standing over wesker after he's defeated again (because it's resident evil and obviously wesker can't win) and having a "wow idk what i was worried about" moment. that's it.

but he doesn't need that. having a scene like that cheapens the weight of him figuring that out himself, without wesker there as "proof."

because the point of his story, of his character arc, is that he figures that out on his own (and with the help of sherry and the events he witnesses) because he has to. he doesn't need wesker there to spoon-feed that to him. he figures that out by working with sherry, by seeing the effects of the C-Virus on everything that it infects. wesker being an abstract entity in his life is enough, because the frustration of not seeing him, not being able to put a bullet in his skull himself, fuels the rest of his journey.

this is where i think that people who make these observations or criticisms (primarily those who think that jake's character would have been improved if wesker was there) need to understand the difference between what's good for a character as a person and what's good for their arc.

interacting with wesker would be good for jake as a person, in that he would no longer need to wonder about it. the answers would be spelled out for him, and he wouldn't have to do any wondering about the what-if. he wouldn't have any doubts left that he'd need to untangle.

but in doing that, it cheapens his arc; it would do more of a disservice to it, imo, than anything else. it would make his journey more formulaic and boring.

it would also clutter up the already cluttered narrative of that game. you have him not only struggling with his heritage, struggling with the fear of becoming his father, struggling with needing to be the "savior" by giving his blood, struggling with his moral compass, but now also struggling with seeing his father for the first time in person?

it makes his arc top-heavy. in that scenario, you could easily replace him with another, completely new character who has zero ties to wesker and the story wouldn't change in any meaningful way. the reason why it works the way to does now is because wesker is already dead. it creates that internal conflict, that internal frustration, that jake has to learn how to deal with since he cannot take that frustration out on his father in-person. he has to make peace with that struggle in other ways.

now, that's not to say there aren't ways that adding wesker into the story of RE6 that don't disrupt that balance. primarily, when it comes to a potential RE6 remake, the writing team can (and hopefully will) rework aspects of the entire game to make the plot more streamlined. this could include adding wesker in and redoing jake's characterization and character arc entirely.

this would be the only way i could see it working out. if jake's entire motivation was changed, his entire backstory was tweaked, then wesker being around could probably work! an interaction between them could be made to make sense and not bog down the rest of the plot as a result.

sirea also mentioned to me in our conversation that adding wesker in to RE6 remake could actually help streamline the plot and i do agree with that. she mentioned that all of the main characters have a tie to wesker in some way, which is absolutely true. having him there would neatly tie their campaigns together in the plotline and make the game as a whole feel less disjointed and messy.

this is especially true when we consider there are 4 fuckin campaigns that all run alongside one another and intersect at random points. it gets so fucking difficult to page through and figure out when certain things happen in the plot. you'll see them happen in order in chris's campaign, for example, then you go start leon's campaign and have to start over again and try to remember what happened at the same time during chris's campaign and so on.

now imagine that not with just two campaigns but four. it gets gross quick. sure, there are parts where the characters run into each other and that helps ground a general timeline in your head, but as far as time elapsed... it's so fuckin hard u guise

there's a reason why it's so hard to summarize the plot of RE6. it's because there is just so much going on in that fucking game.

anyway, that's my rant/sort of meta analysis about why i think wesker didn't need to be in OG RE6 and probably would have made jake's entire arc stupider than it already was

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Sorry this is so late, but Happy New Years here’s part 12! I hope you hate it as much as I do! Want to find out what’s happening? Start here in part 1.

Pairings: Sam Kiszka x Danny Wagner ***slash for 2024!

Warnings and tags: 18+ only!!!, slash ofc, sexual situations including oral (m receiving), slight masturbation, messy love triangles, lots of angst, third person POV Sam, Danny, and Jake, restaurant AU

Word count: 6k

Come on Danny pick up. Jake tried his number again when the first call eventually went to voicemail.

“Hello?” Danny answered with a slightly confused, slightly concerned tone in his voice.

“Hey, I’m sorry for calling like this”. Jake sounded a bit frantic on the other end, though whatever the matter was he still had the mind to apologize for calling out of the blue.

“No umm, it’s alright” Danny replied, looking over at Sam who was laid out on his bed, stark naked, hair still dripping wet, with an unamused look on his face. His brows were perched on the verge of an eye roll, mouthing ‘seriously’ to which Danny just shrugged. Sure it was bad timing to answer a phone call right now, but Jake never just called for nothing. “What’s up?”

“Kim is sick, she woke up this morning not feeling well. Thought she might get over it but now she’s running a high fever. We’re on our way to the hospital”.

“Oh no, Is she okay?” Surely she was fine, he’d seen her just last night. Although looking back on it she did seem a little lethargic and short fused, he hadn’t looked into it. He wished now he would have stopped and at least asked if she was alright.

Sam lost his attitude when he heard Danny’s voice turn more serious, wondering who it was he was asking about.

“She will be fine, just want to get her looked at. I’m sorry to ask, but do you think you could go in tonight to cover for her?”

Danny’s shoulders fell as he looked over at Sam again, waiting for him to give him any more clues about what was going on. “Yeah. I can do that, give me about fifteen minutes to get dressed and I’ll head over there”.

“Thanks, I owe you one”.

Danny hung up the phone and let out the long sigh he’d been holding in, then moved over to his closet to start getting ready.

“Where are you going?” Sam questioned, standing up off the bed and wrapping his arms around Danny’s waist in a feeble attempt to convince him to stay.

“Kim is sick, I’m going in to work to cover for her” he replied, pulling one of his black button ups out and tossing it onto his desk.

“Can’t anyone else go?” His arms tightened around him, pressing his now neglected erection into Danny’s hip with a purposeful whiny whimper. “What am I supposed to do about this?”

Danny’s lips pulled into a Cheshire grin. They were no longer going to get the night he envisioned, but he was not about to leave his lover high and dry.

“It will only take me five minutes to get dressed” he informed him, turning around in his arms and walking him backwards back to the bed. “Lay back down, you’ve got ten minutes to make this count”.

Sam wasn’t happy Danny had to go into work. Danny wasn’t exactly thrilled about it either, but he was at least pleased that he was trusted enough to be called in as Kim’s replacement.

Being Kim for the night proved to be a little more challenging than he’d expected though. It gave him more appreciation for her management style and how she was able to juggle helping with tables, answering a dozen and a half random questions at the drop of a hat, organizing the team and delegating tasks, all while being extra bright and friendly to the guests and staff alike.

Being the stand in dining room manager also meant he had to work side by side with the bar manager on duty tonight. Which of course was Savanna.

He didn’t expect much more than the bare minimum from her when he asked a couple of times for help, but when he got the cold shoulder the second time he decided at least having to figure it out by himself would be a learning experience.

Savanna ignoring him he understood, even felt like he deserved a little bit, but in the previous days this week Jake couldn’t seem to look him straight in the eye either. Let alone talk to him for more than a few short words here and there.

Danny wasn’t exactly sure what was getting to Jake, but he figured it must be something to do with the conversation they’d had in the garage back at his parents house. Jake was probably putting some distance between them which made sense, he only wished it didn’t feel like it had to be this way. That their friendship had to be kept within tight boundaries now otherwise toes might get stepped on.

Though all the extra time he spent with Sam was rewarding in more ways than one, he did miss hanging out with Jake. He was a cool guy, easy to be around, and he did always cook really good food when Danny came over.

Kim was the only one Danny still regularly met up with, though he figured their usual friend date this weekend would probably be canceled on account of her illness. Even then, she seemed a bit more reserved than usual during their brunches. By this point everyone in their circle knew of him and Sam dating, but still no one seemed to talk much about it very much. That made it feel even more like a dirty secret than it ever did before.

The one thing Danny wasn’t sure of was how much Jake had told Kim. Had he said anything to her about the two of them? They never really discussed what they were and were not comfortable talking about after everything all went down. Danny did prefer that only their very close friends know, if necessary at all, though he wouldn’t deny Jake his freedom to tell who he wanted his own history.

The more he thought about it, the more he considered Kim knowing everything would actually be a relief. He couldn’t exactly talk to Sam about these pent up feelings for missing Jake. No, Sam wouldn’t take that lightly. For some reason, telling Jake he missed him sounded a little too far out of line as well. Being able to talk to Kim about the mess in his head might actually help clear some things up for him.

They closed later than usual, having gotten behind during the chaos that was their dinner rush. Danny still felt good about all he did manage to accomplish tonight though, considering it was his first time closing solo without Jake or Kim guiding him.

He checked his phone for the first time in hours after climbing tiredly into his driver's seat. A few texts from Sam asking him how it was going, then about an hour later a text that said ‘guess you’re busy, goodnight’.

His heart clenched a little bit. He probably could have taken a quick break and slipped into the manager's office to text him back. If he had done that though, he might have said something in the moment about Savanna out of frustration.

Sam and her seemed to still be getting along well while at work. Danny tried not to let it bother him. He trusted Sam. Though he didn’t exactly believe she was just going to back down quietly after trying to get him back once already.

Just before he was about to start the car and head home another text came through, a text from Jake.

Thanks again for covering for Kim tonight. We got back from the hospital about a couple of hours ago. She has a really bad case of the flu but she’s medicated now and has been sleeping it off

1:03AM

He stared at the dim screen for a few minutes, debating on how to reply, before just hitting the contact and giving him a call. It rang only a couple of times before Jake answered quietly.

“Hello? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just closed up. Wanted to call and check on you”.

Danny squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall to the window with a muffled thump of his hair against the glass. Check on you? Jesus, could he be any more obvious? Kim was the one who was sick, he should be more concerned with how she’s doing.

“Oh, yeah I’m alright. Kim tried to fight me about going to the hospital at first so I tried my best to take care of her all day. Finally got to the point where I had to put my foot down and nearly carry her to the car”. He chuckled a little bit on the other end of the phone and Danny felt immediately relieved.

Jake really cared about Kim which made him extremely grateful that two of the most important people in his life right now were finding comfort and solace in each other. Everything should've been perfect by this point, what with him and Sam and Jake and Kim being together, but Danny couldn’t deny that something still felt off.

A silence fell between them while Danny attempted to collect himself. He was tired, drained both physically and mentally, and the jumbled twist of emotions within him were finally starting to take their toll. Digging their roots deep into the seams of his skull until he could feel them starting to crack the bone apart.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Danny questioned with his temple and shoulder still slumped against the door. Jake replied with a simple hum of his own raspy tired voice. “Do you ever wish that you loved me?”

The words came rolling out before he could stop and think about rephrasing them, or maybe even keeping them locked away like many of the other trifling thoughts he’d had.

Jake didn’t seem caught up by the question though, bursting out into a cute little fit of laughter that he tried to stifle quickly. He was probably still nearby Kim and didn’t want to wake her. “What? I do love you Danny”.

Danny’s blood ran warm. Like it did when he’d had one too many drinks, or when the right pull off a joint finally hit him.

“And Josh loves you, and Kim loves you, and Sammy loves you, we all do”.

Of course Jake wouldn’t think of answering that question any other way. Danny wasn’t even sure why he’d asked it in the first place. Perhaps other than his own selfish desire to please everyone to the point that he’d started to lose exactly who he was without the constant reassurance that he was loved by others.

He forced a chuckle to attempt to match Jake’s tone, like that’s exactly what he’d meant by that question. “You’re right, thanks for reminding me”.

“Thanks for checking in. I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Of course, goodnight Jake”.

“Goodnight Dan”.

Jake let out a shaky breath when he heard the line go silent. Danny’s question rattled him.

What was he supposed to say? No? Jake knew all too well the sting of that simple word.

What if he were to tell the truth though? He never could. Not for Sam’s sake, he was already on thin ice with his brother in regards to Danny. And certainly not for Danny’s sake.

What good would it do anyone to dredge up feelings that had been washed away. Carried out to sea like tiny grains of sand from a beach somewhere far away.

He peaked back through the crack of his bedroom door, from the hallway where he’d hurried off to answer Danny’s phone call. Kim slept soundly, no doubt in a steroid induced slumber from all the meds they’d pumped her full of at the hospital. She was dehydrated, despite all the fluids he’d tried to persuade her with before he made the decision to take her.

Despite the day he’d had Jake wasn’t quite ready to go to bed just yet, but he didn’t want to bother Kim so he left the door cracked open and went downstairs.

After boiling some water, he poured it over a random tea bag from a stash he’d found Josh had left high up in the pantry. He took a sip of the hot herbal liquid and exhaled, it was pretty good, Josh always had excellent taste.

Jake sat down on his couch and picked up the remote as he continued to sip on his tea, flipping through the list of movies on the TV until he stopped at one that looked familiar though he couldn’t remember exactly what it was about. He selected the movie and saw that he had already watched it at some point. He hit play from beginning and sat back into the couch, watching intently as the flashing images started to make sense. He had watched this movie before, well at least started it before Danny came over and they… yeah he didn’t really watch the movie.

Deciding to give it a shot this time he watched until he finished his drink, getting up to place the mug in the sink before returning to lay on the couch.

Jake stared at the TV, but his head was filled with anything but the movie. One of his arms raised up to the back of the couch and he gripped the frame, feeling and remembering the way he’d gripped so tightly onto it that evening. Before he could think about what he was doing, his other hand came to rest high on his thigh and his breath started to pick up.

He didn’t remember what had happened in the movie, but his body remembered how it had felt with Danny’s hands all over him. His throat started to feel raw again, remembering the way he’d groaned and cried ‘more, harder’. His head fell back and he closed his eyes as the hand on his thigh crept across and he started palming himself over his pants.

There was hardly any friction, and he was too exhausted to worry about actually getting himself off, but his body relaxed as his hips started to roll forward in sync with the rubbing of his hand. It felt good, not just because he was lazily touching himself, but because of the rushing memories pumping through him.

Seeing Danny while being with someone else, drunk or not, was certainly not okay and he’d been trying to rectify that ever since by distancing himself a little more than he wanted to. Letting himself remember though, there was no harm in that right? He was alone down here and he just wanted to let go. So let go he did, until the memories faded away and his body went limp as sleep took over.

When Danny got home, his room was dark and empty as he changed into something warm and comfy to sleep in. He made his way down the hallway to go to the restroom once more before bed, but stopped by Sam’s door on his way back. He’d left it open, unusual for the times when he slept in his own room.

A light was still on as well, so he peaked inside and found Sam slumped over on his desk. A textbook was open in front of him, and his cell phone was on the charger but near his hand like it had fallen out of his grip when he fell asleep.

Danny sighed, Sam really could sleep anywhere, but he couldn’t leave him like that.

“Sam, come on let’s get you in bed”. He shook his shoulder, hardly waking him up as he helped Sam stand up. When he successfully got him vertical he was able to take in the state of him, and smiled at what he saw.

Sam had gone through his closet when he left and pulled out one of Danny’s old shirts from his highschool golf team. He hadn’t seen that shirt in at least over a year, so Sam must have really dug to the back of the closet to find it. Danny wondered if he had just been bored, or if Sam had gone looking for that shirt in particular.

“Mmm, I was having a good dream” Sam mumbled as he stumbled over to his bed, swinging around out of Danny’s grasp to plop down onto the edge.

“About what?” Danny indulged him by stepping forward, though he only intended to ensure Sam successfully got into bed and under the covers.

Sam’s mischievous smirk was illuminated by the soft glow of the lamp left on at his desk. Once Danny was within close enough range he reached up and grabbed his shirt collar then fell back onto the bed sending Danny tumbling forward on top of him. Danny barely caught himself with one hand on the bed and one on Sam’s shoulder, but Sam tugged him again and connected their lips.

“Shall we pick up where we left off?” He tried to seductively suggest by wrapping his legs around Danny’s waist as he continued to attack his lips with his own.

Danny let Sam kiss him, though he didn’t return the same energy. Not only was he physically not up for the task now, but mentally he wasn’t in the right place anymore.

“You’re insatiable” he chuckled lowly when he was able to pull back, trying to mask the true turmoil he was fighting within. Sam stared up at Danny with an uneasy questioning in his eyes, his legs falling limply to either side of Danny as he gently caressed the hair at the top of Sam’s head.

Earlier Danny was sultry and demanding in his words and actions. Sam had liked it, the way he controlled the moment and all Sam had to do was play along. Now Danny was light in his touches, easy with him like Sam was some porcelain doll he could break if he pressed too hard.

“What’s the matter?”

Danny sighed, but continued his petting. He leaned down to attempt to kiss his worries away, at least for tonight, but Sam turned away letting Danny’s kiss fall on his jaw instead. He looked again, his brows furrowing and his eyes repeating his question.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really enjoyed this week together,” Danny hesitantly began, hoping that Sam wouldn’t take this the wrong way, “but I think we should slow down a bit again”.

He waited for Sam to reply, to ask more questions, anything, but all Sam did was forcibly push Danny off of him and roll over to crawl up to the head of the bed.

“Sam-”

“Get out” Sam cut him off, curling his legs towards his chest and pulling at the blanket underneath him.

“Sam, please don’t be mad at me” Danny begged, wishing now that he hadn’t said anything at all. He should have given Sam some other excuse and let this wait until morning.

“I don’t understand you Danny” Sam groaned, rubbing the leftover sleep from his eyes and face. “First you want to wait, then you don’t, and now you want to wait again? What’s changed? Is it because I said I wanted to fuck you? Did you think I was just always going to let you have it any way you wanted?”

“What? No!” Danny was stunned, did Sam really think that was a problem for him? He didn’t care about the logistics of who did what. He just wanted to make sure his mind was in the right place before they continued to get carried away with the physical side of their relationship.

Sam had said it himself at Christmas, he wished Danny would have talked to him first before they had sex. That’s what he was trying to do this time, talk to Sam about what was bothering him before trying to mask it, only he was failing horribly. What even was he trying to say? He didn’t know, but he knew he had to figure it out before he hurt anyone again.

“Didn’t you and Jake do it all the time? What’s the problem with me then?” Sam’s voice sounded his hurt which only made Danny quiver with grief.

Danny wasn’t surprised to hear Jake’s name come into question. Sam was smart, sometimes a little too smart for his own good, and he had an intuition that was incomparable to anyone else he’d ever met.

“No Sammy, there’s nothing wrong with you” he reached out to try and put a comforting hand on his knee, but Sam pulled his legs tighter to his chest. “There’s never been anything wrong with you, not ever. I'm just… a little mixed up right now”.

“Mixed up?” Sam scoffed which turned into a dark laughter as he moved to hide his face by landing his forehead on his knees. “How long have you been ‘mixed up’ exactly?”

That was a good question. Only Danny didn’t know the real answer, because there was more than one. It could have been since tonight, when he heard Jake’s voice over the phone and realized that it still made his chest uncomfortably tight. Or it could have been when he got that book in the mail that he’d given to Jake for Christmas, suddenly remembering the night he laid in Jake’s bed rummaging through his things while Jake showered. He’d thought at the time how intimate that was, being left alone in someone’s room surrounded by all their most personal belongings. He hadn’t intended to gift him the book when he’d ordered it that night, only slip it into its place alongside the others on Jake’s headboard. He had no reason to be in Jake’s bed anymore now, but he thought the book still deserved to be where it belonged. With who it belonged to.

“Okay then” Sam shakily exhaled, finally pulling the blankets up over his body and sliding down. “I want to go back to sleep now. I think it’s best we stay in our own beds until you’re not ‘mixed up’ any more”.

Sam’s words stung but he was right, so Danny didn’t contest. Instead he just leaned over and left him with a kiss to his crown and quietly left, turning out the light on his way.

When Sam heard the click of his door closing behind Danny he let out a hard choked sob.

Fucking Jake. He always got in the way. First with whatever his vendetta was against Savanna, and now Sam was afraid he might have stolen Danny away.

“You’ve gotten your flights already?” Danny questioned as he watched Sam start packing his bags for his trip in the next few days.

Since learningthat Sam was going to LA after graduation, they had talked about it only a handful of times. Though he had already given his answer to their offer, Sam wanted to visit once to get the lay of the land before really preparing to move.

Danny was going to go with him, but recently they had been trying to spend some time apart, so they decided Sam going alone was for the better.

Spending time apart didn’t mean completely abstaining from each other though. Sam still slept in Danny’s room a couple of times, yet cuddling and kissing had been the extent of their activities.

“Yeah, I have an early morning flight. Tomorrow night I’ll sleep in here so I won’t bother you when I get up”.

Danny stood up from where he had taken a seat at Sam’s desk and moved behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and rested his chin on Sam’s shoulder. “You won’t leave without saying goodbye to me though will you?”

“We could say our goodbyes tonight if you wanted?” Sam suggested, letting his body lean fully against the weight of Danny on his back.

Danny nuzzled his nose behind the shell of Sam’s ear, breathing in his natural scent and letting the endorphins take him over. After the intoxicating smell, he decided he needed a little taste, so he pulled Sam’s lobe between his teeth and gave it a little nibble.

Sam let out a whimper, his body shaking slightly underneath Danny’s hovering form, and he twisted around in his grip so they could face each other. His arms came up to circle around Danny’s shoulders, and he pulled him down into a heated kiss, quickly parting Danny’s lips with his own and slipping his tongue inside for a taste of his own.

“You want to?” Danny asked just above a whisper, not letting their lips separate for long. Things still weren’t settled between them, but he couldn’t silence the desperation in the way his body talked, especially when Sam’s was sending him so many signals.

He felt Sam nod and tighten his grip, again answering without his words. “Do you want to go to my bedroom? Or stay in here?” Danny looked past Sam’s shoulder at the mess of clothes and bags sprawled out on his bed. He didn’t want to interrupt his packing but Sam didn’t seem to mind. He blindly reached behind himself and swiped his hand across the sheets, sending all his belongings tumbling onto the floor in an arrangement of soft and loud thuds, before sitting down and taking Danny along with him.

Here they were again, Sam was underneath Danny and he was bucking his hips upwards, trying to get any friction he could, as fast as he could before they could back track. He held Danny close by the collar of his shirt, and when Danny’s hands circled around his wrists to pull them off, he halted his movements and started up at him with the fear of being rejected again.

Danny’s expression didn’t read rejection this time though, no the fierceness had returned. The blacks of his eyes had blown wide, leaving only a small halo of mossy green behind and he peeled his shirt off before returning to kissing Sam.

Sam closed his eyes and let the fiery feeling sink into his skin and settle into the pit of his stomach as Danny trailed his kisses down to his neck. He wondered if Danny would leave any new marks on him where all the others had already faded.

“Want… Jake…” he heard Danny’s voice muffled against his shoulder, causing his eyes to snap open and his blood to run cold.

“What did you just say?”

Danny pulled back, unphased, and repeated what he’d said. “Want to take this off” he tugged at the collar of Sam’s shirt. “Can I?”

“Oh, yeah” Sam tried to steady his heart beat as he lifted his shoulders and helped Danny pull his shirt off.

“What did you think I said?” Danny chuckled, unaware of the mini heart attack he’d just given him.

“Nothing, nothing at all” Sam replied, wrapping his arms back around him and trying to keep going.

Danny let his hands trail down Sam’s torso, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps now that Sam was cold and still shaking.

Danny thought he was just really into it, which only urged him to do more. He kissed his chest, then his naval, then hovered above his groin as his fingers played with the waistband of his sweats. If there was anything he could do to make up for the last time, he knew this would be it.

Sam bit his lip and lifted his hips as Danny started to pull his pants down.

“…Jake… so good”.

“What?” Sam snapped again. Why the fuck did he keep hearing Jake’s name out of Danny’s mouth? And when it was so close to his faltering erection?

“I said”, Danny kissed his member over his underwear next, letting his hot breath linger there, “gonna make you feel so good”.

Sam reached down and pulled his last piece of clothing off, making Danny chuckle again at his impatience. “No more talking” Sam demanded, weaving his fingers through Danny’s hair and pushing him down.

Danny gladly took him in, bobbing his head up and down eager to please. Sam stared up at the ceiling, digging his fingernails into Danny’s scalp with each downward movement, trying to keep his concentration as best he could now that he’d been rattled a few times.

He attempted to close his eyes again, but when he did he pictured Danny on his knees in front of someone with long brown hair. At first he thought maybe he was picturing himself, but then they turned around and of course it was Jake.

“Goddammit!” Sam yelled, starting Danny off him.

“What? Did I hurt you?” Danny started to panic. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, but he’d been so focused on trying to do a good job he might not have noticed if he nicked him with his teeth or something.

“I’m sorry, I thought I could do this but I can’t”. Sam stood up off the bed and snatched his sweatpants up from off the floor, hurriedly stuffing his legs back into them and covering himself. He suddenly felt very exposed.

“Sam, talk to me, what’s the matter?”

Sam raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head, trying to get the images he’d been repressing over the past few days out of his head. “Every time I’m with you like this I can’t stop thinking about you and my brother! At first I thought it was a one time thing, but it just keeps happening, and it’s getting worse”. His voice came out louder than he’d intended, but he really was tired of this, tired of it all.

He thought maybe if he could get through one time, then go on his trip and let himself start to miss Danny, then he’d come home and things might just start to finally fall into place.

Danny stared at him blankly, which only pissed him off even more. “Why would you think of that?” He babbled dumfoundly, though in the back of his mind Danny knew the reasoning was obvious.

“I don’t know Daniel, maybe if…” he started to trail off, thinking finishing this thought out loud might do more harm than it would any good.

“Maybe what?” Danny pushed on, starting to get a little worked up himself. He couldn’t keep going around in circles like this, they had to hash this out now before they both started losing their minds.

“Maybe if you had said something sooner, before you and Jake ever… I mean if I’d had just known sooner then maybe things would be different”. His thoughts were coming out in a jumbled mess, but Danny was getting the gist of it. Sam tried to come to grips with the fact that he and Jake had been intimate many times before, but the truth was he hated it.

He hated that Danny felt like he couldn’t confess to him sooner, but somehow Jake was easy enough to open up to without all the extra fuss and complication that their whirlwind relationship had accumulated over the past few months.

He hated that he felt like maybe his brother would be a better lover than he ever could be.

“How was I supposed to tell you when you were with Savanna? You have nothing to lose with this Sam. You think if you went crawling back to her right now she wouldn’t take you back?”

“You think if you went to Jake he wouldn’t take you back?” Sam's voice was filled with venom now, biting at Danny for insinuating that he was the only one who had nothing to lose. Sam being afraid of losing Danny was the whole reason they’d gotten swept up like this together in the first place. He promised to give this a chance, see how far they could go together, but he was starting to think that the true beauty in their relationship lied in the way it was before.

He didn’t want to hurt Danny, and he could never hate him; Sam simply wasn’t capable of actually hating anybody. He just missed the effortlessness of their friendship.

“So what does this mean then?” Danny questioned after a moment of silence. They were in a standoff, standing in the middle of a shaky wooden bridge over a never ending gorge with their only options being pushing forward and hoping the fraying ropes wouldn’t snap, or going back to where they knew it was safe.

“I think you know what this means”. Sam couldn’t look him in the eye, couldn’t bring himself to see the way his words tore through Danny like he was ripping pages right out of a book. Pages that didn’t belong anymore, at least not in this story.

Sam wanted a break, a chance to get away and figure things out on his own without the constant pressure of others. Taking this trip now was probably the best thing that could happen for them. Sam would go away for a few days and when he got back hopefully they could sort this out once and for all.

“I understand Sam” Danny replied dejectedly, but at least there was no more anger in his tone. He couldn’t be angry at Sam, not when the both of them had made the choices that led them here.

He thought back to a comment Jake had made a while ago-

“Danny, you don’t regret anything we’ve done do you?”

The thing was, even with this outcome, Danny still didn’t regret anything. Because all the things he’d learned about himself along the way, and the confidence he grew, were what made him capable of even attempting this with Sam. If he had said anything sooner, he wasn’t sure he would have been ready to face everything they had and things could have ended up a lot worse.

“I’m going to go, let you finish packing up. I’ll see you in the morning, ok?”

“I’m sorry Daniel” Sam’s lips quivered as he spoke. Danny was holding himself together better than he’d expected he would, and he knew that was a good thing, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t sorry.

“Don’t be,” Danny stood and placed his hands lightly on each of Sam’s shoulders mustering up the best half smile he could manage before giving him a feather light kiss on the cheek. “I still love you, I always will”.

Sam nodded and sniffled a little, wiping the corner of his eye before the tear could even fall. Danny was being strong for him, he knew he was, so he had to reel it in too. The thing was, he wasn’t crumbling because he thought this would be the end of them. He was letting it all out because he knew it was the right decision.

The next day Danny tiptoed around Sam, wanting to still spend time with him before he left, but not wanting to overstep any new boundaries he knew they’d have to establish eventually.

The day seemed to drag on, but at the same time he felt like after he cried himself to sleep that night, when his eyes finally did shut, they were open again the next morning and Sam was gone.

Now that he had the space to himself he knew he could begin to collapse. He could open the floodgates and let the rush of emotions he kept damned up sweep through him until every nerve in his body had eroded away.

Something told him if he let that happen though, he might not be able to plug it back up when Sam returned, so instead he looked for distractions.

The first distraction was cleaning, but the problem was he and Sam were actually pretty tidy people to begin with, so there wasn’t much for him to do there.

The second distraction was work. He’d picked up an extra shift knowing he was going to be antsy and in a bad mood while Sam was gone. He realized though that the monotony of doing the same thing he always did, taking orders, tidying up the dining room when he had the chance, and stocking menus and utensils didn’t help keep his mind from telling him over and over again that he wasn’t good enough.

By the time his shift was finally over he was ready to bolt out the door, but he was dreading going back to an empty home. So instead Danny drove around for a while, thinking he could head to the library and maybe studying would keep him distracted, but he didn’t want to run into any classmates while he was in this state.

Eventually his car came to a stop on a familiar street and he waited outside, debating on if he should even attempt walking up to the door.

Danny held his breath as he knocked. There wasn’t an answer right away, but his car was also parked outside so Danny was pretty sure he was home. He jumped a little at the sound of the door unlocking, forcing him to breathe again as Jake opened the door.

“Hey, what's up?” Jake asked, surprised to see Danny at his doorstep unannounced. He took one good look at Danny and immediately knew something was wrong. “Wait, are you alright?”

Danny opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was an incoherent jumble of “Sam… gone… broke up” as tears started to well up again.

Jake threw his arms around Danny and tried to console him and he drug him inside, shutting the door behind them with a kick of his bare foot.

He sat Danny down on his couch and crouched down in front of him, waiting patiently as he caressed one of Danny’s hands until the tears started to run out.

Once Danny was done he moved to sit next to him, not letting his hand go and sympathetically asked him,

“Tell me what happened”.

@alwaysonthemend @psychedelicstardust-gvf @twistedmelodies @heckingfrick

[justsomeoneunordinary]

I have now finally a tag for all my fandom posts. From fic concepts to answered asks to meta to shitposts to character analysis to silly posts and AU's, including some added reblogs that are important to the og post.

You can find them now under the tag #may talks naruto (respectively, #may talks marvel for the few old mcu posts)

Excluded are fics and moodboards, those can still be found under #may writes and #may's moodboards

I had to go through fucking 2k of original posts (thank you Tumblr Original Post Finder, I would not have been able to do it otherwise) to do that. So if I forget to add the tag in my next posts, hit me with a spatula on my head bc I will not have all that work be for naught.

This was mostly for me, for organizational purposes so I could finally find all my posts (so many I totally forgot about...) and so I can save them somewhere else in case Tumblr dies/my blog gets suddenly deleted or the sort. Also so I can finally organize and compile all my concept fics that are free for adoption on AO3. But ofc it's for you too if you wanna go through more of my posts. (Good fucking luck tho, bc it's A Lot lmao)

[spicybylerpolls]

i've been thinking about the difference between accidental homophobes and malicious ones. im sure lots of people think homophobically because thats what they've been brainwashed to think, and theres no saying they couldnt see the light as it were.

but the people who are really not into seeing byler have sex because its gay first and foremost (rather than underage as is the big debate on here)... i think lots of het people 'sexualise' gay sex in their minds because its the only way they can process it. after all, sex organs for all genders and orientations are also part of the digestive system, and therefore 'dirty' in the way anal sex is perceived to be. ofc anal activity isnt limited to gay couples, but plenty of het people judge each other about anal too.

there is a mystery to gay sex that many het people can't understand, and this comes out as curiosity/fetishising/fear/hatred/frustation (on the negative spectrum). the butt is the first thing they'll think of, and then all the dirtiness that *could* be associated with that.

i personally think that gay men who engage in anal are admirable and understand a level of organisation and hygiene usually only shown by women (most of whom have to deal with the emotional and physical hygiene of monthly periods)

sorry theres no poll here lol

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. Chapter 1:

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess… more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

More chapters on AO3

---------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn’t take much today to blow my fuse, which had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week of being belittled by old white men and working endless hours of unpaid overtime, I’d about had it.

Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are brutal and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art. You’ve got good organizational skills, you’re resilient, charming when it counts, and you tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn’t. It’s too late to turn back now.

"That’s why I don’t use an agenda or notebook. If something’s important enough for me to attend, I simply won’t forget. I know you youngsters are all about bullet journaling and expressing yourselves by mapping out your lives, but really it’s just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work."

For a second, I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer’s face, but that probably wouldn’t have helped my CV or the new job I’d have to look for starting tomorrow. At the very least, I should’ve screamed at him a little. Mainly that I didn’t care. That I had PMS. That my shitty shower in the shitty apartment I shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning. That goddamn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I’d organized if I couldn’t write it down somewhere.

Instead, I smiled. Died a little inside. Complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he’d like another cup of coffee.

“What a dick.” Samantha murmured, more to herself than to me, once the guy had finally left. It made me snort under my breath. She usually didn’t say much, but when she did, it was straight to the point.

In the end, it didn’t matter that he was a dick. Didn’t matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he’d bought from us over the last few months had been neither smart nor impressive purchases. Just expensive. And flashy.

“Doesn’t matter now.” I said with a sigh, glancing at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday, I’d taken two days off, the longest break I’d had all year, and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be.

In silence, we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers coming in over the weekend wouldn’t suspect anyone had actually been working here. A white desk. A huge iMac on it. That was all they needed to see. Folders, pens, and apparently especially agendas had to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight, I threw on my coat and Samantha gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me. Just exhausted.

“Have fun then? Don’t get too wasted?”

“Oh…” I grinned, smug. “You have no idea. Gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of '90s Euro Trash.”

I couldn’t help it, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had even a small audience. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me made me turn around fast, slowly lowering my arms. Sam bit her lower lip, and there I was, standing like an idiot in front of HIM, of all people.

Men didn’t have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were usually the ones that pissed me off most, but no one had managed to do so quite like Kim Namjoon lately.

And now he was standing there, looking me up and down, stopping at my hair. The crazy, too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke hair.

“Nice.” he said, then looked over at Sam.

“I’d like to take a last look before Sunday’s opening, if that’s okay?”

I stood there, shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

“Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I’ll need to be home by then.” Samantha replied, impressively calm.

“Of course.” Namjoon said with a slight smile. “Anyone else still around? Chris, maybe?”

Of course, Chris hadn’t been in today. It was Friday, and unless important guests had announced themselves, the gallery owner didn’t come in on Fridays.

“I’m afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?”

Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed.

“Wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans.” Namjoon said before I could get a word in. His voice dropped to that hushed, deep disapproval, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his rather expensive-looking coat. Silence. Then he just walked off toward the room where his exhibition had been set up all week, showing without saying it that I’d be staying, whether I liked it or not.

“Well, thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it.”

“I’m so sorry. But I was serious. I can’t lose this sitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. Vegetables!”

Samantha was suddenly in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse, showering me with promises to make it up to me. We both knew that wouldn’t happen and it wasn’t necessary. Staying late was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would’ve followed the artist, asked if I could help somehow, but nah… My ego was bruised up enough already - especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes.

Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite.

I’d thought he was cool for about five minutes when he first came in. We’d heard about him for a few months before. I think I’d even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to seeing him in real life.

He came in all cheekbones and an all-gray outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He also completely ignored me.

That's how it started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot.

I had studied art and its management, but often felt more like a glorified secretary. My colleagues and I were doing all the behind-the-scenes work while Chris strolled in for a few hours, reaped all the money, and got the recognition. I knew this wasn’t unique to the art world, but it still got under my skin... I’d imagined life in my late twenties to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to finally leave so I could lock up.

But what I probably hated most about him was that I admired him. Purely for his art. Really. Even the way he acted like I didn’t exist every time he came in didn’t stop me from admitting that - at least to myself. The stories behind his massive collages were clever, well thought-out. And even without knowing the context, the aesthetics alone were stunning. His work reached into something deep, and standing in front of it, I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece, I was the first to sneak a peek in the back before it got hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He’s just... quiet. I think he might even be shy. Stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks ago. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Words like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which would, of course, be perceived as even more sensitive. But when had being numb become something to aim for? I didn’t say anything because I liked Sam, and I knew what she meant. At least I thought I did. That maybe I wouldn’t care so much if I wasn’t actually attracted to Namjoon. I’d never said it, but she knew. She knew that if I didn’t care about something, I didn’t waste my time on it. But if something pissed me off? Yeah, there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. Still, he was a dick. And I still just wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour, I walked up to him, a little speech prepared about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around, he just lifted a hand between us like a barrier and turned away again. I hadn’t seen he was on the phone. "No, it’s nothing. Just one of the gallery employees." he said. And okay... if I wasn’t about to explode before, I definitely was now. I stood there for a moment, fuming, then walked back to the office area. My hand shook as I began switching off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as I’d hoped, but still felt good. Two minutes later, only the light above my head and the one by the door were left on. I figured I’d at least show him which way to go - he clearly needed help.

When Namjoon stepped out from one of the darker corners, he looked even more annoyed than usual. He squinted at me, his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he shouted, nearly walking into one of the flyer shelves. Not the first time I’d seen him do that, so maybe it wasn’t the lighting’s fault.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had my coat on and turned off the last two lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had just about made his way to the door. He was still on the phone, standing right in the open entrance. I gave a little groan when he didn’t even notice me standing behind him... or maybe he did and just didn’t care. Instead of clearing my throat or trying to squeeze past him, I just placed my hands on his back and gently pushed until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. For a second, he looked like he was about to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse, his eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I replied, deadpan. Then I turned back to lock the two bolts on the door and punched in the alarm code. I couldn’t help but feel smug - apparently, he knew my name. I pictured him staring at the back of my head, flustered. Couldn’t be sure though. All I knew was that when I turned around, he was still there, arms crossed over his chest, mouth set in a straight line, watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work, around people who could get you in trouble?" He had a point. He could get me in trouble. But I was too fired up, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don’t like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with that, he turned around and walked off, coat flying open in the wind. Unfortunately, it made him look cool. I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I didn’t say another word, just walked off in the opposite direction - only to realize minutes later that my car was the other way. Still, I kept walking for a bit before turning back. It took a while to calm down. Only cuddling up with my cat in front of some trash TV finally did the job. But by then, I’d realized something I wasn’t sure I liked. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah, I should’ve just played it cool. That would’ve been smarter in a lot of ways. But I’d also kind of... enjoyed myself. In the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense way he loomed over me... yeah, I’d piss him off on purpose. Literally.

[bugsbenefit]

no spoilers here yet but just as warning in case you don't want to see any talk about the set production you can blacklist my s5 spoiler tag, i'll tag everything so no worries :) (also applies to any actual future spoilers ofc)

i just care about show production processes and i like having things in one place for organization purposes. so here's a summary of the things that came out over the past few days that are confirmed to be real because i saw some confusion and misinformation about it

1) replica elements of the Hawkins downtown area are being constructed (the tall greyish building is Melvalds so this is basically confirmed to be the ST production and a real leak) link to the source

my bet is they'll either use it for an UD version of downtown or for something that requires massive alterations to the set they can't do to the real location without digital effects. like damage to the buildings, extensive special effects like fire or explosions, and so on

2) they're building military set pieces as well source and source

very curios where those will end up going since they clearly don't belong in the downtown set area and are all on movable platforms. there'll be a military base Somewhere for sure tho

and neither of that is actually really new information, we already saw a military presence in Hawkins by the end of s4 and them rebuilding downtown was something i expected but seeing the process is still cool

also adding here so people don't get their hopes up or base too much of their s5 expectation on it; there's a picture of cut out missing posters going around that seems to be a fake leak. sucks since it's the only photo that would allow for any actual plot speculation but alas

this one

which is from behind the scenes of the ST Day event, so they're not up to date or from the current production of s5, which the og poster clarifies in the comments (link to the post here)

[very-gay-poet]

Hi!

I just read your pinned post, after reading your post on the writers group page which we are both in and I just wanted to say your fic sounds very exciting. I am also working on a huge project of writing marauders years 1-7, plus the war, plus beyond (hopefully). Anyways what you said about JKR hating your fic resonated strongly with me. People often complain about having to tag the Harry Potter (JKR) fandom on Ao3 because they don't like her, and I say, I'm proud to tag it because I've created something she would HATE! *Cue Evil Laugh*

It's like a big double fingered bird.

Or a stinky cow pie on her front porch.

I hope your writing is going well. It's really hard work. But I love it. I'm hoping to move through the original seven books eventually but I'm following canon events :( I'd like to write from anyone's POV but Harry's though. And then I want to do some uplifting afterlife stuff because all my characters die.

Do you have a time goal for when you plan to start posting?

omagosh hello!!!! I'm so excited to read your fic honestly it sounds like its something I'd enjoy!!! lmk when it comes out!!! It sounds really good if you could tell me a bit more about it (if thats cool ofc) about like what ships you'll be doing etc etc (I can NEVER find anything detailed on remus's pov in PoA always just a summery :( like I WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT SAD GAY MAN THINKS D:)

anywasy THANKYOUSOMUCHAHHHHHHHH I originally started this idea with a "what if" in Harry Potter and then it kind of spiraled into spite-fiction (you see what I did there? ;D) and it means the world to me honest, when I read this I was smiling all day <3

I really don't like JKR for obvious reasons but also because like??? she gave us nothing??? I honestly don't understand how she's missed the point of HER OWN STORY so hard and tbh it seems like she was more interested in writing Tom Riddle and his backstory, not Harry's. I think she should've made a Tom Riddle story she just seems to write better for him than any other story line (not to mention how complicated she made it how much time she put into the villain's origins story instead of her MCs and how he was the most fleshed out character in all of HP but that's just my opinion) her writing is flawed, her plot were eh, basically none of the characters had any kind of character growth/ arc and they felt like cardboard not even mentioning a bunch of shitty stuff in there as well as, ofc, how there's NO FLAVOR. All of them are just straight white cis people (mainly men too???? like where's the feminism in the self proclaimed "feminists" writing???) and only included any kind of diversity when it was more acceptable (don't even get me started on Dumbledore being reveled gay but she killed Remus Sirius and Tonks off bc they were too camp when she was writing it) and beneficial for HER. not to mention all the misogyny, anti-Semitism, racist stereotypes, and harmful gay stereotypes and just plain bad writing like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

about the "my favs dying" OMG YESSSSS literally EVERY SINGLE BOOK IVE READ my favs die :( I know its on purpose but like :(

I'm so thankful for your kind words they really did make my day and I do truly hope you'll push through and remember you've always got my support bbg <33333

as for a timeline I'm trying to get organized right now and its a NIGHTMARE. but thank you still have the best day you beautiful rays of sunshine and may Apollo like you enough to put you in his good graces <333

[what-the-hell-is-going-on-here]

yes, i caved and i'm making a proper (???) pinned post

HI!!! call me cervid :3

I LIKE AND FREQUENTLY POST ABOUT VORE AND STUFFING!!!

(not in the gross way i swear hear me out)

i dont like stuffing in a weight gain way (no hate to ppl who do, its just not my thing) and, for vore, i enjoy the g/t, SAFE, SOFT kind (fatal sometimes but not heavily in detail) and nonsexually! i like both of those things in a comfort/show of love thing if that makes sense. i also like g/t just in general. im too lazy to tag any of it unless its for reach purposes (like my writing or other stuff like that) so Watch Out i guess 💀

I do post about normal stuff too!! (i like to draw and write) so ofc i dont mind when "normal" blogs follow but just be aware of what i reblog lol

i dont bite! pls interact 👁️👁️

more info (fandoms, my works, likes/dislikes, dni) under the cut because this is Long...

the kind of vore/stuffing things that i do NOT like (keep in mind if u wanna suggest/send something):

-heavily detailed hard vore/more on the gore side

-death feedism

-feedism specifically for like.. weight gain

-unrealistic stuffing/vore (like. when their tummy is bigger than the rest of their body SORRY ITS JUST NOT MY THING)

-most pregnancy stuff

(ill add to this later)

im into a ton of fandoms but currently 2001: a space odyssey, electric dreams, ultrakill, inscryption, fallout new vegas, and i have no mouth and i must scream are overtaking my brain, if you are one of the rare ppl who like those and like vore/stuffing too PLEASE SEND ME ASKS. PLSSSS IM DESPERATE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEND ME VORE OR STUFFING RELATED ASKS PLEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM BEGGING. I LOVE WRITING ABOUT STUFF PLS

also im otherkin! so ill reblog that stuff too (yes im weird, yes i take pride in that)

I NEED TO REMAKE MY SONA AHH

some of my works are below!

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/734572176007741440/am-vore-hcs-ihnmaims?source=share ihnmaims vore hcs - AM

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/733758413915422720/use-this-to-talk-about-soft-vore-i-wanna-know-how- misc soft vore ramble

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/747607936331907072/ultrakill-vore-doodles-3 ultrakill vore doodles :D

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/754941524823916544/enjoy-lol fallout: new vegas vore doodles w/ vulpes and the courier

my fandom-specific vore tags (and other special tags) are

#electric noms (for electric dreams)

#i have no mouth and i must vore (for ihnmaims)

#cervid talks (for plain text posts, usually abt vore/stuffing brainrot, or any other time i think i should use it)

#ultranoms (for ultrakill)

#fallout: nom vegas (for fallout: new vegas)

#cervid works (for any original art/writing, not necessarily vore/stuffing but probably will be)

I am not the best at organization and I will definitely miss stuff but bear with me yall o7

please dni if-

-you are a purely nsfw blog (yes this goes for vore blogs that are sexual)

-you're gonna argue abt my interests

-you are deeply uncomfortable if you see vore/stuffing posts (dont wanna risk seeing it? then pls dont follow!) not saying all my followers have to like it just dont follow if seeing the occasional post will make u rlly grossed out

-youre an asshole. come on have some standards just dont be weird... plss....

thanks

[halliserres]

tagged by @gwynbleidd to do these two uquizzes for my ocs, ty <3

idk who's done this so. tagging @necroticpetals @shadowshearts @flymmcargo @halsin @feypacts @totentnz & anyone reading this hey lol *twirls hair* (no pressure ofc)

---

ZARALI CALDWELL

tarot card pair + enver gortash the devil + the emperor

there's only one religion for the two of you, and that religion is the other. you two are very nearly unhealthily obsessed with one another, and that's just how you like it. when they touch you, they can feel the blood pumping under the surface of your skin. your hearts beat for one another. when the day comes that one stops, the other will soon after. until then, you both will live out your lives in perfect, gothy paradise.

which part holds their soul? legs

you're always onto what's vital, what's essential, whatever's the most pivotal thing in your life. survival, stability, ambition, and self-sufficiency. you may find that others instinctively trust you to make the important decisions. at your worst, you're ungrounded. you lack ambition, you lack purpose, and you become more frustrated with life. at your best, you're the glue that holds it all together. your soul is the essence of holding the door open for as many people as possible. you are an extra umbrella in the downpour. the lighthouse guiding ships through a foggy sea. you're as dependable as anyone will ever be.

JAIME HAWKE

tarot card pair + merrill the two of cups + the star

your romance is a wish granted. finally, finally, they're here. finally, *it's* here! the time where you don't have to feel lonely anymore - you'll never feel that way ever again. laughter, joy, sweetness, kisses - be at ease. all of these are things you have found someone to share with. your love is a dreamy fantasy of love and devotion and miracles. at first, your chest gets too tight when they're around - until they become as natural as the air in your lungs.

which part holds their soul? arms

hold. you hold on tight. you hold so tight that you may break. your grip is so strong that others are concerned, but you can't stop because you're the one holding it together. the "organized" in "organized chaos". the calm that exists within the eye of the hurricane. a level of order that is required of detectives during a true crime murder investigation. the wearied satisfaction of a life sentence. you manifest in emotions like ego, anger, and aggression. you might struggle with depression, lack of self-esteem, anger, and perfectionism. your hold is suffocating, but it has reason. you hold not only for yourself, but for everyone you love

MARY ROOK

tarot card pair + john seed the tower + the lovers

meeting this person shook your whole world. crumbling down is everything you thought you knew about life and love. their warmth, their generosity, their naivete, their knowing...! you don't know how anything made sense before them. all you know is that nothing will make sense afterwards.

which part holds their soul? head / mind

close. you want to be so close that you can hear the heavens sing. but this is not a road taken by those of little faith. you worked hard for the relationship with your faith that you have today. it is your faith that brings you the strength that you need during the darkest of days. some people cannot understand that. but your efforts will not go unnoticed. your efforts are what is most important in the end. spirituality, enlightenment, and dynamic thought and energy. the inward flow of wisdom and brings the gift of cosmic consciousness. at a low, you might suffer from a constant sense of frustration, melancholy and destructive feelings. the light of what you believe guides you to what you know is right. there is only one answer, and it is the light. it is your faith