#^guy whos been diagnosed for 9 years

[aropride]

i think i have depression :(

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

@ that guy who tried to argue that "most people are vaccinated" the other day.

By Courtney Friedman

Local infectious disease doctor said this continued trend is putting people, healthcare system at risk

Most Americans haven’t been vaccinated this year, and health experts are worried about outbreaks of COVID, flu and RSV.

“We’re seeing lower numbers of people going out to get their vaccines for COVID, for influenza. And over the last couple of years, we’ve seen that,” said Dr. Jason Bowling, infectious disease specialist with University Health System and UT Health San Antonio.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that only about 37% of adults have received a flu shot, while just 19% have received the updated COVID vaccine.

It’s even lower for children at 33% for flu and just under 9% for COVID.

These numbers climbed around 2% higher than last year.

Bowling said part of that is likely due to vaccine fatigue from the pandemic, but not all of it.

“I think we’re getting a little too comfortable with COVID and flu, but we’re still seeing people get very ill with both of these and RSV,” Bowling said.

RSV cases have already spiked this year, hitting the vulnerable hardest.

“We now have vaccines available for RSV for people that are at highest risk. So people that are 75 and older, adults (who) are 60 and older and have medical conditions, and then, also, it’s protection for infants,” Bowling said.

He said the rates are low for that vaccine, too, and have been since it was released last year. Part of that, he believes, is awareness.

“It is a new vaccine. So we want people to be aware that this vaccine is available,” he said.

As for the flu, cases are picking up by the week.

“Ninety-two cases just last week of flu, and that’s up from 57 cases the week before. So it was a 65% increase just week to week. And that’s just confirmed PCR tests. So there are way more out there,” Bowling said.

While COVID numbers are currently low, Bowling said they’re expected to spike again soon.

“At the end of this year or early next year. And there’s data now that shows that people (who) are vaccinated have lower risk of long COVID, have less severe symptoms,” he said.

Misinformation and doubts over the COVID vaccine have hampered those numbers, bringing experts to emphasize that it’s trustworthy and helps cut down on long COVID diagnoses.

“COVID vaccines have been studied more than any other vaccine in history. We really have a lot of safety records, and they’re continuing to monitor for side effects, too. So it’s not as though they did the monitoring and they stopped,” Bowling said.

Healthcare workers also are trying to remind people that the perspective is wider than just each individual.

“For some people, it might be a mild illness that lasts for a few days, but for other people, they could end up in the ER, or worst, case admitted to the hospital,” Bowling said.

Even in mid-December, it’s not too late to get your vaccines.

“This is a perfect time to get it because a lot of people are going to be traveling in the next couple of weeks. So if you get that vaccine now, it gives your body a couple of weeks to generate antibodies, provide that protection, and keep you having fun with your family and friends, (but) maybe not in urgent care or the hospital,” Bowling said.

San Antonio school districts even see this trend of lower vaccine rates by way of the exemption form parents fill out and get approved by the state of Texas if they want to waive their child’s vaccinations.

Two of the largest local school districts replied to KSAT’s request about the subject on Monday, confirming that trend.

North East ISD:

“We have seen a little steady increase in the number of incoming kinder with conscientious exemptions. In 2017-2018, there were 37 students with exemptions to all vaccines. There were 78 kinder students last year and 90 this year,” the district said.

The district said they see exemptions less in other grades because parents have generally already made those decisions about vaccines by then.

The percentages break down to:

2017-2018: 0.9% of kids had vaccine exemptions. 2023-2024: 2.4% of kids had exemptions. 2024-2025: 2.7% of kids had exemptions. That means vaccine exemptions are up 0.3% from last year.

San Antonio ISD:

The district said they are “seeing numbers of parents opting out of vaccinations trending slightly upward.”

Vaccine exemptions by school year:

2024-2025: 368 students. 2023-2024: 301 students. 2022-2023: 297 students. 2021-2022: 219 students. 2020-2021: 164 students. 2019-2020: 197 students.

[heartyluv]

hii i saw your recent post about reader w pots, and i was wondering if you could do one of the lads guys (doesnt matter who) with reader who has chronic fatigue syndrome, as someone who has it :))

no pressure tho <3

Note: Thank you for trusting me with this, luv. Again, I did as much research as I could to make sure that I portrayed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as best as possible, so I hope that I’ve done that successfully. I felt like Xavier was absolutely perfect for this. You’re so strong, my heart. I hope you know that. ♡

Creds to @/cafekitsune for the divider!

Warning: Not sure if this needs any, but please proceed to read with caution!

Xavier/Reader

Today has been one of the hardest days you’ve had in a long time. When you woke up this morning, you felt as if you haven’t touched a bed. The amount of fatigue and exhaustion that coursed through your body made it seem as if you’ve never known what it’s like to rest in your entire life.

Trying to get out of the bed to prepare for work felt even worse. The nausea was undeniably terrible, immediate dizziness and the need to vomit because of it, suffocating your throat. Xavier was awfully concerned, unable to keep his eyes off of you as you attempted to assure him that you could handle everything on your own.

Of course he didn’t listen to that.

“Please focus on getting ready. I’ll be driving you to work and I’ll make you something to eat so you can have it on the way. Don’t fight me on this. Just let me take care of you, okay?”

He had gotten up with you at six in the morning when he didn’t need to be up for another two hours. You were so thankful for him that you could cry, but you physically didn’t even have the energy for it.

You were diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a little over a year ago and while it was a relief to have a name for the experience you’ve been suffering from, the feeling of defeat from not having a definite solution was always saddening. But with Xavier right there to make sure you knew you weren’t going to deal with any of it by yourself, you knew that even on your worst day, you would survive it because of him and his love.

He was there for the days you couldn’t get up, when you had to stop your walks that you took with him because it was leaving you bedridden for more than a day—even when your sex life had slowed down. Not once did Xavier blame you or expect anything. All that mattered to your boyfriend was that you were taken care of and healthy. You had a whole life together to do everything anyways, in his eyes.

Getting through the day was a chore, most of the time. But when you walked into your building today, each step felt like there were weights on your ankles and dumbbells on your eyelids. Even though you were being strong for yourself, you were especially being strong for Xavier because his belief in and care for you was something so fueling that you wish you could inject it into your veins whenever it got difficult.

At almost eight o’clock, you felt like you could do nothing, but pushing through it, shaking it off as best as possible, and remembering the way Xavier kissed you goodbye, had you ready for your meeting by 9:30.

To everyone else, you were your regular self. Typing all your notes and engaging when expected. On the inside, you were in pain and suffering in a way that you would never wish on another individual.

Despite your perseverance, you had to give it your all to make it on the bus and were thankful that it was already outside when you stepped out of work. After the day ended and you got through your door, the first thing you did was strip yourself from your work clothes and laid down. You couldn’t eat, couldn’t shower. You couldn’t do anything. Just not right now.

Although you wished your sweet boyfriend was here to hold you and kiss away the mental and physical pain, you weren’t able to stay up longer than five minutes to even attempt to wait.

When he got home and saw you in bed with your things everywhere, he had no issue cleaning up for you. Typically, you at least did that, but he knew how hard of a day it’s been the moment you woke up. He cooked you a nutritious meal with one of your favorite little cakes on the side as a dessert.

Gently rocking you awake and calling your name, your eyes fluttered open to see him in one of his long sleeve sleep shirts and pants, looking warm and comfortable. The food you were smelling, as well as his soft scent, always reminded you of home.

“I know you’re tired, but I can’t let you sleep without something on your stomach. You’ll wake up feeling even worse,” he said softly as your eyes rested on him. “Eat and I’ll handle everything else. I can feed you, if you’d like. It’s not a problem.”

“I’m okay,” you say with a raspy voice, your throat dry from the nap. He points to the water at your bedside, already knowing you’d need it. That makes you smile. “Thank you, bub. I’m so sorry about today. I don’t mean to be so messy and out of it.”

He studied you, placing your food down on your lap when you sat up. “Please don’t apologize. Nothing is your fault.” He took your hand in his to press a kiss on top. “Times like these are expected and we work together to get through it.”

The kiss to your forehead feels like the cure to all your problems. “When you’re done, I’ll help you in the shower. I know how much you like to be clean when you go to bed.”

You slowly brought the food into your mouth, groaning at how tasty it was. “I can’t let you do that.” You cover your mouth as you chew, shaking your head.

“It’s a good thing it’s something that I want to do, isn’t it?” he smiles slyly. “And here, you’ve been forgetting to take your vitamins lately.” He pulled out the row of vitamins that you try to have prepared every week and you see how you’ve missed the last three days. The brain fog and forgetfulness has increased dramatically. “I’ll be sure to start helping to make sure you remember again.”

“I can’t believe you do all of this for me. Even though you don’t have to, I never have to ask…I know you say not to be sorry, but I can’t help it. I feel it. You do so much and I don’t think there’s ever enough that I can do to repay you for such patience, Xav.”

He places his hand over yours to stop you from fiddling with your food on your plate. His other warm hand cups your jaw to make you look up from the dish and your sleepy eyes look up into his mesmerizing ones.

“I will never look at you and blame or make you feel responsible for something you have no control over. I do what I do because not only do you deserve to be taken care of, but what kind of boyfriend would I be to let my girlfriend carry all the weight on her back alone?”

You nod, but he wants you to really hear him. So he leans in, kissing your nose before pulling back to let his breath graze against your lips. “Life is supposed to be easier when the person you love is in it. So let me make it easy and don’t feel bad when I do it. Not only do I have to, but it makes me feel good when you do. You’re my other half, you always will be.”

“I don’t deserve you,” you frown, but he runs his thumb across your bottom lip to make you smile. You don’t know why it does, but he rather enjoys doing it when he found out that little tidbit.

“You do. You deserve normalcy and fulfillment. That’s exactly what I intend to give.”

For the rest of the night, Xavier tended to your every need without you having to say anything. He did it all in comfortable silence because he knew how much talking could also aggravate your symptoms and add to your tiredness. One day I’ll be able to show him my gratefulness, you think as he helps lotion your body after your shower.

With that goal in your heart, you can’t help but hold him tight when you’re in bed for the night. And he holds you equally as close, knowing that in his heart, you being exactly how you are is all the repayment he’ll ever need.

[ms-demeanor]

IDK that I've ever put it in one post before, but here's the transplant speedrun.

1 - Valentines day 2021, he's admitted to the hospital. We take a pre-hospital selfie then I shave his head and he shaves his beard because he doesn't want to deal with hair at the hospital. Me and his mom drop him off; at that point you can only visit someone as they are actually dying and we're told that he's going to stay in the hospital until he gets a transplant or he dies, and if he's rejected as a transplant recipient he'll receive palliative care in this hospital.

2 - First week of March, they allow patients to have one screened visitor; this is our first visit - I take photos in the hospital to show his mom because at this point he has a pump in his shoulder and it is difficult for him to move his arms to use his phone. He has also been confined to a bed since the week he arrived because he's on the ECMO machine, so he can't walk or move around, though they stand him up every once in a while. At one point one of the ecmo tubes pulls out of his femoral artery, which is Not! Great! He also needed a blood transfusion about every two days at that point, which worried the doctors because it increased his likelihood of rejecting. But he had been approved for transplant at that point!

The first thing he said to me on this visit was "look, I have abs" and then he showed me his abs because it turns out when you're really really dying of heart failure your body begins to eat itself.

3 - Now That's What I Call Jaundice (cardiac cirrhosis is liver failure as a result of heart failure and it's pretty much the big giant neon flashing sign of heart failure that says "hey you're fucking dying" so if you've got heart failure and your bilirubin number is off or the whites of your eyes are yellow please kick up a gigantic stink until they check your liver; large bastard's GP, who is my doctor, who I hate, saw his bloodwork with a very high bilirubin number a month before he was diagnosed with cardiac cirrhosis and wrote it off as a testing fluke fuck that guy)

4 - Don't let the sad face fool you, he's acting pathetic so that his mom will stop yelling about the fact that I'm bringing him cookies. He's allowed to have cookies. At that point he weighed 98kg and was outsourcing his heartbeat, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted. (have i mentioned that I was moving us from Vegas to LA at this time? I was bringing him cookies because I'd baked hundreds of peanut butter cookies and other cookies to use up the flour, sugar, and peanut butter in the vegas house)

5 - Mid-march, he's got a match! He called me when I was in Vegas filling up the truck with another load and I drove right back and to the hospital. Once he went in for surgery I drove to his mom's house and crashed, then woke up and drove to our storage unit and unpacked the truck while I waited to hear from the doctors. I was unloading a bookcase when I got the call. (There wasn't any point in waiting alone in the hospital for sixteen hours; either he was going to make it or he wasn't and someone was going to have to unload the truck at some point. People have been weird about this, like I should have been sitting at his side all the time, but there was a two-hour daily limit for most visits and look i have sat in a waiting room while this dude had a thirteen hour surgery i do not need a repeat of that experience without the soothing balm of nicotine getting me through it; so unloading a truck it was)

6 - Two days after surgery and kind of mad about it. His chest hurt a lot (obviously) but, like, a lot a lot because they'd had to open him up for the bypass just two years earlier.

7 - First walk outside of his room after transplant in early April; he needed a LOT of PT because of how much muscle he'd lost. He lost sixty pounds in the hospital before the surgery, and only gained back about twenty while he was in there.

8 - A visit from the tiny doggo

9 - I come to visit and I've got a new phone with a portrait mode so he steals it and takes stupid pictures for a few minutes. Dude is bored and restless; this is in late april and he's feeling well enough to be moody. ETA: There is a jar of pickles in front of him because he'd been fluid limited for a long time and his salt levels were off and when he got to the hospital they were like "you need electrolytes and a lot of salt" and he was like "sweetheart can you please please please bring me delicious salty things" so I was bringing him jars of pickled mushrooms and garlic stuffed olives and just a huge number of pickles that he kept trying to share with the nurses. "Alli brought the mushrooms again; would you like a pickled mushroom? I have fancy toothpicks to share them with!"

10 - He comes home for the first time in early May; he ends up getting readmitted two more times because of complications before finally being released in early July. ETA: The second time he got readmitted it was for something that he wasn't at all worried about but that they needed to monitor for a couple weeks so he was *SO BORED* and actually feeling pretty okay; so at one point when I was leaving the parking garage at 8pm my car wouldn't start, I did some troubleshooting with the manual and the internet and didn't figure it out, so I called him and he tried to troubleshoot over the phone and got frustrated and was begging his nurses to let him come out to the parking structure to work on my car (they refused) - I ended up getting a tow and fixing it when I replaced the battery terminals.

Photos are all posted with his permission.

Also I dyed my hair purple between photos one and two because it's his favorite color. I also bought a blue dress, red tights, and yellow shoes to wear to visit him because he always teases me for wearing so much black.

I just love him a lot. It was a hard couple years there, but things are getting better.

[mysticcrownwolf]

So your girl finally had a autistic meltdown and finally asked her mum about her childhood and got some mixed results but long story short I am finally getting an official autism and adhd diagnosis because in my mums words “Everyone deserves things that make their life easier to live”. Not gonna lie guys I did cried about this but it also came up that they did tried to get me diagnosed before (I don’t remember this at all) but were told I just had very high levels of hyperactivity so to make sure this type of bullshit doesn’t happen again I am making a list of all my weird or quirky traits and having the neurodivergents of Tumblr peer review them so I can finally get a diagnosis after 19 years of struggling.

1) I didn’t ever in my life made or had friends that stick around.

2) I was actually alienated a lot by most people in my life for being the umbrella term they all coined as ‘weird’ what this weird means varies from person to person.

3) I have actually been told by other girls that they gave me a chance to keep them company even after many people told them I was too weird and they should stay away from me. These same people later called me slurs, were self absorbed or just plain abusive towards me.

4) Through out my whole life I have sat alone on a double bench because no one wanted to sit with me in class.

5) I have a problem with properly spelling certain words like I write weird as ‘wierd’ or video as ‘vedio’.

6) People constantly doubt I have any sense of knowledge and act like any good idea I give is a surprise even when I was on the top of the class the phrases like “ That’s the first good idea you ever had” weren’t uncommon.

7) I walk a lot and I mean a lot enough that hyperactivity has still been a part of my diagnostic because I walked so much they had no choice but to put that in. I actually come to the school 30 minutes early then walked the whole time, I would just up and leave classes to walk in corridors because I couldn’t sit still long enough, my walking is such a huge part of me my old teachers still tell their classes about me as the girl that walked too much.

8) People in my college nicknamed me the headphone girl because I walked around our whole campus( I would pace a lot around the parameters) with my only noticeable feature being my headphones.

9) I was the only kid in my school not scared of bugs which lead to some notable incidents

I once picked a small green caterpillar and showed it off to my class of 10 year olds they started crying and teacher made me throw the bug even though I wanted to keep it as a pet

Our teacher once asked us to bring butterflies to class so I captured around 30 butterflies put them in a breathable Tupperware and took those to class me being the only person who did this freaked out all the other children with my butterflies , we later released them all in recess it was very pretty

I not only volunteered but gleefully presented live earthworms on my palm to various groups of parents in our school science fare much to the horrified looks of many parents and children about how a little girl like me wasn’t screaming from handling earthworms.

I scared our class mean girl by capturing a butterfly and then turning my hand holding the butterfly in her direction she and a few other girls screamed when I tried to tell them that the little critter was harmless and even offered to let them hold her (I was very confused why they didn’t like this).

10) I was friends with a lot of my teachers as well as higher class teachers especially the Science, Social studies and English teachers. I would often spend my recess in the biology lab chatting with the biology teacher about the different specimens in the lab and how much I enjoyed biology in general. I am half sure I would have loved to study biology/medicine if not for the fact it was a minimum investment of 7 years though I am still an avid reader of new biological discoveries and follow many niche youtube channels that focus on flora and fauna.

11) I was actually friends with all 3 principles in my school and would go to them after my last class to chat about my school day. This was so bizarre to others but I actually enjoyed how much these adults would listen to my info dump even if my own peers won’t.

12) Every single time my report card came I would usually top the class in most subjects except maths in which I usually underperformed ( don’t worry guys I figured out later I just need to know every basic concept to get the deep understanding of mathematical principles which my teachers were very bad at build but I later learned how to do it myself) but it would always have in big bold letters that “I talked to much and have weird questions and am disruptive in class ” which my bad I thought I could get details about what your are teaching and develop great interest but nah we just need to complete the syllabus as fast as we can. Salt on the wound I would only ask questions and discuss topics in class with the teacher since I don’t have friends I could talk to in class. They deadass never ever punished a single student from disrupting in class except me the girl who asked silly questions about what we were studying maybe they thought my questions were weird so I was asking them to disrupt they flow of the class rather than genuine curiosity who knows

13) I had very bad anger issues stemming from how the system as well as authority figures treated me ( I have since been to therapy and gotten help for it ) but a lot of time I verbally and physically attacked an authority figures usually when they punished me for something I didn’t do or when they tried to empty out their frustration on me or tried to bully me in anyway. I never took bullying face down from anybody be it younger or older than me my flight or fight response was always on fight

14) People did tried to bully me physically or verbally but I always returned it in kind with interest so it never really stuck like the isolation did. My most memorable experience with bullying was when I bitch slapped our school mean girl so hard the whole ground heard it , I don’t think I ever got any punishment for it and she later burned every friendship she had by throwing her whole group under the bus for some vandalism they did.

15) I unfortunately never had friends so when they school told me telling an authority figure I am being teased, harassed or even that someone is breaking the rules is what’s morally right I ran with the rules set for me rather than knowing the social norms that this would mark me as the school snitch without the teachers ever doing anything about the issues. Unfortunately I learned the hard way through trial and error that once you are labelled as a snitch their is nothing you can do to get that tag off and it comes with the added benefit of making people never talk to each other near me or even just leave the places I visit alone so yay more loneliness for me

16) I actively volunteered for every single activity and program my school office this sounds great but I picked and got selected for all 7 different fairs (English, Hindi, Maths, Science, Social science, Music, Art) but rather than pick out one or two I helped out with all 7 of them. They later added a 3 groups per person limit.

17) I am actually trained in both classical instrumental and singing but couldn’t complete my singing degree before the program closed down and it’s been 6 years since I played a Casio that I don’t think that even matters anymore. Anyway I added this because at first I did both of these at the same time along with volunteering for all the other activities before they added a 1 course per year limit which is a shame since it cost me my vocal degree.

18) I love reading that just the fact I found reading in my school library when I was 8 haven’t let it go since by my librarian’s estimate I read almost 3000 books (mostly children books) from my school library. I also have a mini collection of about 300 books that I have passed down to both of siblings. These days I read mostly on ao3 or the occasional paperback I bought at the airport but reading is still something I do almost daily.

19) See one thing about me is I was one of the first student at my school so much so my identification number was 35 so me being such an old student my school has actually legends about my quirky ( neurodivergent ) behaviour which has made me understand where most legends actually come from

I walked out of classes so many times teachers to this day still tell stories of the weird girl that likes to walk

My whole school knew who I was mostly because I would be the first and only person that likes to answer philosophical questions asked by our principal in the assembly, I was also great with improvising assembly conductions, thought of the days, assembly quizzes, full speeches on topics told to me 2 minutes ago, even improvised song recitations (can you guys pick up I have social anxiety now).

As I told you my lovelies I love reading so if I was immersed in a book and the class started I would just hide the book to read in class once I got caught so I got termed the girl who like to read books in class( is it stupid yes did it still happened certainly). I later learned to zone out to the stories in my mind during class which was very helpful.

As I told you guys I was actually on pretty friendly terms with my principal and teachers so guess who became the teachers pet for the next 8 years even though most teachers care jack shit about my interest and was further alienated because of this me ofcourse.

I actually once locked myself in the school bathroom for like 4 hours because I hadn’t completed the homework a teacher had given me and she was quite physically abusive towards me. I got suspended for a week because of this funnily enough nobody in my school actually remember this and most are really surprised to know I was suspended.

I am actually really famous or infamous by the way you look at it for physically assaulting a teacher funnily enough the name of the teacher, why I am attacked them and even how I hit them changes from person to person I have actually heard 10-15 different variations from different people( I am not even sure if I actually ever hit a teacher most I remember is I lunged at one teacher but she stepped back so I didn’t even touch her).

20) I was depressed from age 14 to 17 which caused me to chronic pain which later caused me to meet my current psychologist who helped me a lot but is vehemently against me getting any sort of neurodivergent diagnosis most she say is I have borderline adhd tendencies and that I think to much and should focus on calming down my mind which honestly is quite invalidating.

21) I can’t wear any sort of itchy or frilly materials when I was younger ( the texture was soo bad) but my sister could which made my mother think I was being a drama queen.

22) When I was younger I use toilet paper after using a bidet because the feeling of wet pants would over stem me so bad it’s not a problem for me anymore except from sometimes during winters.

23) I didn’t know Chewelry existed when I was younger so I chewed on my nails/skin,my lips, squishy parts of remotes, plastic toys, legos, scarfs, hoody strings, hot glue gun glue, chalk, cement, sand, mud etc. (Yes I know about the microplastics now no I don’t care).

24) I am highly sensitive to sounds so if my fan have a weird creak sound I won’t be able too sleep I also can’t sleep if I hear a clock ticking or any other repetitive sounds ( my mum still doesn’t understand why I can’t just force myself to sleep).

25) I also can’t sleep in continuous silence I need background noise to fall asleep.

26) It took me a whole year of forcing myself to wear bra and panties for my body to finally get used to me wearing them. It was a stimulation nightmare but I think it was worth it I enjoy wearing bras and panties now.

27) I can’t eat apples like I physically cringe even thinking of the sensation of biting into an apple. I have tried cutting an apple into every single why I could I still can’t swallow or even properly chew an apple the texture is such a sensory nightmare for me. Cabbage used to be the same for me but though constant reintroduction I can usually for myself to eat it with a glass of water

28) I have had many foods be absolutely sensory nightmare for me throughout my childhood. I was a very picky eater think bread, soup, lentils and noodles(packet noodles without vegetables). I couldn’t eat any kinds of fruits(except banana), vegetables, pizza , burgers (still don’t eat this), dumplings, wraps, pasta,etc. Heck I was a vegetarian for majority of my life before I learned chicken is actually a great textured food for me though I still don’t eat any form of red meat or sea foods and my food list is still very limited I have constantly reintroduced many foods for myself over the years which I can now usually bear to eat. I also learned that I can usually consume fruit and vegetables better if they are liquids so fruits juices, smoothies and soups were also great help.

29) I was and still am an absolutely clean freak and organiser. Like my bag use to have books organised in this specific order English, Hindi, Maths, Science and then Social studies and it needs to been in this order or I would get anxious. Fortunately no one else in my house ever wanted to organise anything so I would organise everything with way I would want it to be while also being neat.

30) One of my biggest sources of stress came from how dirty my siblings made our room. I would deep clean everything and then organise our books , toys and clothes and then clean and organise our bed they would just bulldozers through and ruin all my hard work in a day or two. Unfortunately I had this sense of cleanliness and order since I was a child and my siblings who were even younger then me weren’t slobs(ok maybe my brother was but anyway) they just weren’t wired to like cleanliness and order like I did and being children anything I told them about how we can keep our room clean went over their heads because I was always their to do it for them.

31) I actually had many special interests growing up though I didn’t have trains as an interest except for the cool toy train set I got as a gift or the maglev trains who are objectively very cool. My biggest special interest were rocks, space and animals especially all the books Nat geography and scholastic puts out on animals. I actually had a rock collection mostly made up of sedimentary rock and a piece of lime stone which my mother later kept in the shed where it got lost during home construction. I also have a modest collection of books and another collection of small childhood trinkets that I still have (I recently bought a clay bird that mimics actual bird call when filled with a little water to add to my collection).

32) I forget I need to eat and drink it’s always been like this I don’t have that internal clock that says you are thirsty go drink water or you are hungry go eat food . I need to remind myself it’s been 12 hrs I probably need water it’s been 32 hrs you should probably get some food or at least have a protein shake it’s like my body has no sense of hunger or thirst but I am getting better at eating and drinking at least the drinking water part anyway.

33) I am tired it’s not recent but in the last few years since I became an adult I feel so tired I use to be the topper of my class the gifted children that participated in everything now I am in college and just getting an 80% feels draining everyone has so much hope for me that I could and should do better but I am just tired. I walk and trekk sometimes but I don’t participate in any events and I see others I see my roommate who participates in like 5 different events and still gets a 95% if she can do it why can’t I. I use to be able to do so much and now I don’t have the drive to do much of anything anymore it’s so painful to realise that I should do better but what does better looks like for someone who is as tired as I am.

I did took some online test as well just to see if I even had a chance and the results were mostly the same I have many Adhd/Autistic tendencies and should probably get a professional diagnosis. I would be very thankful if my fellow autistic and adhd people would help me add more targeted experiences so I can finally get a diagnosis

@my-autism-adhd-blog you inspired me write all of this down and it would be very helpful if you could guide me to get a better diagnosis because of your experience. Also I greatly enjoy the contents of your blog so thank you for that

[2hoothoots]

So I was going through your blog (again) and found some of your stuff mentions fsau Raz having ADHD, as somebody with adhd I’m intrigued, may I have some of those headcanons (canons??) related to that? Also, I would give “a penny for your thoughts” but I’m out of pennies, so here’s various images of a drawing of ur blorbo I put next to my animals, note that a rock had to be added in one picture to keep him from flying away (BONUS: his now permanent place with the wifi guardian frog)

NOTHING brings me more joy than seeing physical drawings of these guys, like, out and about. in situations. thank you for this gift, and ALSO for the great ask because it's a perfect chance to ramble

so first of all, canon Raz having ADHD is very real to me. he's constantly fidgeting and moving around, getting distracted by sidequests and scavenger hunt objectives, always talking to himself out loud, gotta write everything down so he remembers it because there's so much to DO!, running away from home because his dad yelled at him one time and now Raz assumes he must hate him forever... i could go on, but i think there's a lot of room for interpretation there!

in my headcanon, he never got diagnosed as a kid. maybe there were some notes about it in his reports each year, sure - but a little hyperactivity and distractability never seemed to slow him down. he excelled in lessons and on missions, and when he was with his family their performances gave him something to focus that energy into. it was only really when he turned 18 and graduated to a full agent that the cracks started to show.

because there's a big difference between the responsibilities you have as a minor, and the responsibilities you have as an 18-year-old living away from home! one who's expected to cook and clean for themselves, and take care of adult life stuff, and also work the 9-to-5 office job he's just graduated into that involves sitting in front of a computer and write reports all day.

short-term, he found he could get himself to power through a deadline with energy drinks and psi-pops (a lot of psi-pops...)

long-term, something had to give. he was working himself to exhaustion, constantly stressed, swinging between days spent staring at his computer screen doing nothing and all-nighters desperately trying to finish his paperwork before the deadline. it just didn't make any sense to him. he'd finally started his job as a Psychonaut, he was living independently like he'd always dreamed, he'd gotten top surgery after planning it for so long. he should have everything he ever wanted. why wasn't he happy?

following a deep post-surgical depression, about a month before his 19th birthday Raz was living out of his car, couch-surfing or sleeping in his office. he got kicked out of his apartment after falling behind on bills and rent. it wasn't that he didn't have the money, it was all just too much for him to stay on top of.

he'd probably have stayed in that misery hole for a lot longer if Frazie hadn't marched into his life and demanded he let her help him move into a new place, or she was telling mom that he was homeless. together, they sorted through all of his possessions from the last place - everything that had been hastily shoved in his car, or tossed in a box in his office, piled in a heap that was giving him anxiety even looking at it.

things do get better for him from there.

when he eventually explains things to Hollis, she gently suggests that he should get a roommate. he ends up moving in with Phoebe, and they become pretty good friends after a couple months! something about having another person around to help do the chores and wash the dishes and share the space helps, even if it takes him a while to admit it.

he gets his ADHD diagnosis, and finding the exact right medication and dose is a journey he's still on years later - but they're a huge help in getting him to actually knuckle down and finish his work on time. and the whole thing ends up being a chance for him to take a step back and really think about what he wants to do with his life. he'd always assumed that being a Psychonaut was his dream, but he'd never really reckoned with what that dream would look like before.

in the end, he sticks with it, but also decides to follow Lili's example in branching out. he applies to study a part-time Bachelor's in Psychology on a remote course, and gets accepted. juggling missions and paperwork and study and relationships (because the whole thing made him realise he also wasn't setting aside any time for himself, and wow, dating is a thing) is a lot - but he manages to figure it out, day by day.

(Lili comes back to the Psychonauts after graduating. she and Raz have both changed a lot over those four years, but on their first mission together they hit it off like a house on fire - and the rest is history!)

[linaslivery]

Hello everyone! It’s Lina.

It’s been a long time hasn’t it? A whole school year!

I originally said I was going to stop for the first two weeks of school to adjust to my schedule… but, here i am 9 months later and officially a high school graduate! Onto University :)

I know you might be asking… what happened to Lina?

Well, don’t worry. I’ll be doing a breakdown about everything.

Why did I stop posting? I have two reasons.

Burn Out

My first is that frankly, as time went on, I felt as if my work slowly started to not appeal to anyone anymore and it drained me. It drained me because I loved writing and to slowly see the demographic shift in the F1 community in terms of writing that appealed to them made me stop. I loved doing SMAU’s and written fics, and to see how text fics only got more and more popular, I began to feel as if my stories weren’t enough anymore, and my passion began to fizzle out.

I began to feel that what I did for fun, slowly turned into a job, and I was losing that job. It hurt more than I wanted to admit.

I’m glad for those who do writ text fics and all the success they achieved, but it couldn’t help but feel jealous. Jealous how just a few texts for a scenario overrode the week of planning I did for my fics. And seeing how that envy and jealousy began to consume me, I needed to step back, and it was the best thing I could have done.

2. Family

I planned to return in December, but things took a turn for the worse when my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

With my senior year, balancing my friends, college, deciding to return writing, taking care of my brother with special needs, and school, I felt too overwhelmed to return.

With everything happening, my depression slowly started to consume me again until the end of march where I found my love for writing again for something other than f1.

What now?

As of now, I still don’t know if I’ll come back on tumblr to write after moving to ao3 and a new community.

But all I can say is that once i woke up this morning to see my followers, I smiled. And I want to thank everyone who has been a part of my writing journey. Without your support, I would have never gotten the courage to continue to share my work and for that, I want to give you all hugs.

Being here on tumblr when writing for F1 was such an amazing time for me and meeting my mutuals who I can’t thank enough for getting to know me and reaching out to support each other. You guys are the best and I can’t say that enough.

So for this, I want to say thank you.

I’m unsure were my writing journey on tumblr will go now, but I’ve decided against deleting my account for the sake of keeping all my work and to have others read what I wrote to hopefully inspire a new generation of F1 writers within the community.

It has been an amazing pleasure to write for you all and I’ll certainly let you know when I’ll return for good, but time is sacred and not everyone has time.

As Daniel Ricciardo said, “No regrets. Only memories.” And I’d cherish these memories for years to come.

[leftsomescratches]

I gotta thank ya Mod. For the headcanon of his birthday year and why he doesn’t really remember cause it made me have to think why the hell does my guy remember cause he’s old as fuck.

So thanks for making me think <3

Turns out I did this research once before, so I apologize for the inconsistent answers. Here's something I previously wrote for this blog:

So first off there are two different versions of Creed’s childhood floating around out there. The first I came across was a 2009 one-shot publication: X-men Origins: Sabretooth, written by Kieron Gillen. It features Victor’s first manifestation of his mutation through an altercation with his older brother which resulted in the kids death and Victor’s imprisonment in the cellar of their house by his father.

According to Gillien, Victor was only prisoner in that cellar for a year (if you read the comic it goes from ‘that spring’ to ‘next spring’.) However Marvel files have put Creed in that particular predicament for years. Routinely throughout those years, Creed’s father would remove Victor’s ‘Satan teeth’ believing that if he pulled out enough of them that he would Cure Victor of the devil.

An abusive and sick S.O.B. to be sure, Creed’s father has been theorized to have been abusive to his mother as well. It gives credit to the whole ‘you are the environment in which you are raised’ vibe.

HERE IS A SEGMENT FROM THE MARVEL WIKI FILES

Early Life

When Victor Creed’s mutation first manifested, he accidentally killed his brother over a piece of pie. His father confined him to a cellar and would systemically pull out Victor’s “devil teeth” in an attempt to purge the boy of his “demons”. Victor was chained like an animal in the family cellar for years until one day he chewed off his own hand in order to break free, subsequently murdering his father. Although he would later claim to have killed his mother as well, he actually spared her, and made sure she lived a comfortable life, until she was diagnosed with cancer and confined to a hospital, where she was killed by a member of the Red Right Hand.

Freed from his parents, Victor was unleashed upon society. At age thirteen, he reportedly rampaged across three Canadian provinces and killed at least three police officers. According to Creed, he remained in Canada and, at about fifteen, worked for the railroad, laying down rail from Calgary up to the Yukon. (The Canadian Pacific Railway reached Calgary in 1883 and the route up to the Yukon was completed around 1900. (If Victor Creed was 15 while laying rails that would place his birth between 1868 and 1885.) Among the workers on the line was a belligerent older man who delighted in picking on the teenage Creed. Though the man “had a hundred pounds on him”, Creed gutted him from crotch to Adam’s apple with his claws.

The other common image/ dictation of Creed’s torture in his younger years was presented in Deadpool Vol 4 issues #9 (which is part two of a three issue segment featuring Sabrethooth versus Deadpool) written by Gerry Duggan.

Mind you this publication happened AFTER the inversion event which left Creed actually on the good side of the spectrum. No longer under the control of his feral dark side, Victor teams up with Magneto in hopes to save mutant kind from the devastation that the Terrigenisis Mists, released by Black Bolt when combating Thanos, brought upon them.

Anyways, during the fight with Deadpool, Deadpool accuses Victor of killing his parents, when in reality Wade’s memory was wiped and the ultimate way to test the process was the order for Creed to take Wade to his parents house to ice them. Hey, given how many times people like Wade, Logan, and Victor got their memory wiped, exactly how much of this is truth and how much is a fabrication of their own minds to fill gaps that otherwise can’t be restored. But here’s a picture I’d wish to share:

This picture is before the oh so infamous one that has helped paste the word REDEMPTION on Creed’s forehead e.g. this one

Now for those of us who have been following the comics its clear as to why this particular scene had to happen. Creed was on the ‘road to redemption’, or as least traveling down it as best he can. The Inversion event freed him from the darkness in his mind, in his nature, that held him captive. That’s not to say Victor hasn’t been seen MANY TIMES being or helping the good guys. He’s not all evil, he just has less of a will power to push through the dark suggestions his feral nature forces him into.

So this particular segment of his past was written as it is to give Creed that redeeming sort of feel to him. So people can start empathizing because more and more has this guy started to become a very common face now that Wolverine (Logan) is pretty much dead.. then wasn’t dead and is now an old man.

What Creed has to deal with on the daily can be found in the 1995 release Sabretooth Special “Sabretooth in the Red Zone” Written by Fabian Nicieza

In conclusion.

If the consistencies of the story line remain true, Creed manifested his mutation I want to say around 7 or so.

Also in another conclusion I found this little tib bit under Creed’s father’s Marvel file labeled as Unusual Features: Amber eyes appear to “glow” (i.e. tapetum lucidum), a trait his son, would be noted by the Foreigner, to possess as well.

[secretagentsloveblogs]

all i do is think about my honey oc 25/8 so have some aimless rambling about my favorite OC listener: Mara, aka Honey!

IMPORTANT: I will not apologize for having flawed characters. Mara is a purposefully flawed character who has made mistakes and will continue to do so. Firstly, for the purposes of the disclaimer: just because I write my character this way doesn't mean I condone or support their behavior. Secondly, it's a fictional setting, with fictional people. None of the events actually happened, it's just supposed to make you go "oooo. hmm. 🤔" and "ahhh. i see. 😲"

cw: [mentions of transphobia][cheating][cancer mention][chronic illness]

Mara is a 28 year old trans woman from Missouri. Her familial relationships are strained since coming out, but she keeps up with her mom, Heather, and brother, Zachary. She's still waiting to hear back from Richard, her father.

She's an astronomer, and she met Guy during a group project meetup when they ordered Max's Rustic Pizza delivery. She paid for the pizza and tipped the Pizza GuyTM $9.03, because this nerd wanted to remember the day she met her future lover. (They met 9/03/20 - #fanon) Oh, she also wrote her number on the back of the receipt, with her name signed with two stars for A's).

Speaking of stars, she has covered every room and place she's ever lived in with glow in the dark stars. It doesn't matter that she's an adult now, she will forever be the little astronaut with her head in the clouds.

Though her love of stars may be extraordinary, she also loves to collect animal bones. If Mara wasn't an astronomer, she would probably be a taxidermist.

In 2018, Mara was diagnosed with HIV. *this is crucial to her backstory and requires a deep dive*

One of her coworkers, Pamela, gifted her a 14 year old plant, a monstera albo, who's been named Big Boss. She 'inherited' the plant when Pamela was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.

If Mara hadn't transitioned, she is convinced she would have been recruited into the US military. (smth internalized transphobia and being recruited to feel needed in an unwelcoming society)

Tucked deep in the back of Mara's closet exists a closed storage bin, and inside it are the barbies, bratz dolls, littlest pet shops, and all the other small girls' toys she had stolen as a child. She wants to donate them to another little girl like her one day, but is still trying to process the love and guilt she has for the toys she had to take in order to experience 'girlhood.'

Based on Guy's first audio on the channel, Mara calls Guy 'stupid boy', but it's in a lighthearted, affectionate way. (it's fine because he's HER stupidest boy<3)

She created an art piece that reads "dream big, eat well, & fuck loud" and its one of her favorite pieces ever.

Mara doesn't let anyone but herself or Guy cut her hair. this is an autism related thing AND a trans related thing. don't look at me like that, go ask her about it.

Her and Guy get stoned on the weekends and play dress to impress. i will not elaborate how that goes. (jk i will, one day)

Mara is close friends with Geordi, and they helped each other both at the height of their relationship issues. She listened to Geordi talk extensively about his privacy issues (which is ironic all things considered but anyways) with Cutie, and he served as a listener/yapper when she opened up to him about-

Oops! This level of knowledge is locked. The information behind this door requires The Key of Interest to enter. [translation: i need to finish writing the extensive lore for these characters but i also need people to understand nuance and flawed characters before i share the backstory].

[adamtheawesomecryptidhunter]

How 9-1-1 Saved My Life, and How The Latest Episode Affected Me(spoiler's bewarb)

Hello, my name is Geoffrey(not real name, sorry!) and I've been in the 9-1-1 fandom for more than 3 years now(God time flies ain't it?). And I've been really enjoying each episodes in the past couple of seasons.

The story of BuckandEddie, of Hen ahd Chimney, of Athena and Bobby, Maddie, Albert, Ravi and everyone are just so inspiring and very enjoyable to watch. Each upcoming episode feels like something big to look forward to. They literally give me a reason to wake up and face the day depite of everything that happened so far. 9-1-1 has became an anchor, a lighthouse to steer towards in stormy night. Seeing the way each characters interact and be entwined with each other is something that me and many others wishes we could have.

And the will-they-won't-they thing between Dumbass B(affectionate) and Dumbass E(affectionate) is really fun to watch and really something to look forward to. Although this slow burn is literally had us gnawing our hands off spongebob-style, and the many rescue had us literally on the edge of our couch(almost falling off), it's so beautiful and fun and intense and lovely to watch.

As someone who's recently accepted himself that he might not be as staright as he thought before(never straight at all, actually lol), the story of Buck and Eddie is giving me glimmer feeling of how would a guy fall in love with another guy(speculating, but I do hope they end up toghether!). Because even though I've accepted myself as gay, I'm still in the closet out of fear of someone finding out for me and my family. I live in a rather very religious country(not USA I'm afraid) and the people here can be a bit 'severe' with queer people. So as a closetted gay man, the idea of finding a guy to take to a date is near impossible while living here, and marrying a woman for the sake of 'normality', 'duty' and a 'stable family' feels really wrong, as I don't want to live a lie like that, it's not fair to the woman and me(see that Eddie?? I really feel you here mate). So the will-they-won't-thwy for me is very fun to watch and imagine on how a realtionship like that could blossoming to be.

But Last night, after watching the latest episode(S8E15) I did something stupid, something really really really stupid. I didn't even realized what I did until the morning after. I shouldn't detail wnat happened in short but I really regret doing it But good news I'm still here, still stable, still relatively healthy and currently in a safe and protected space.

I should mention that I suffer from schizophrenia, bipolar and ASD. I was diagnosed back in high school but the symtomps has started since 5th grade(we didn't know abck then my parents just assumed it was the case of 'teen angst'). I'm still on medication, and it has been a long time(almost a year) since my last episode so what happened really shocked me.

When it happened, at first I didn't know why this episode affected me this hard, I've been wacthing many series with MCD, often I could shrug off the shock realtiely easy, but last episode of S8E15 really did a number to me. It messed hard with my head, gave me severe panic attacks among others. Then this morning when I finally wake up I realized it, S8E15 hit me hard because of Bobby Nash reminded me of my dad who passed away 2 years ago.

In many ways Bobby's life and struggle reminds me of my dad's. He also battled addictions(he didn't drink, but liked to gamble and smoke a lot). And seeing Bobby finally decided to toss that book and finally went to get help, it's just like dad you know? After a rather massive natural disaster, the light flipped on in his head, and he immedietally decided to seek professional help and he started getting better and better just like Bobby. And I was feeling proud of him! Just like Buck and May and 118 and others when Bobby stated going to therapy.

In Robert Nash, I see my dad. I see his smile, his courage to change to be better, his fatherly positive attitude even though things were bad and his bravery against all odds that the werld threw on him.

So yeah, I guess it's to be expected, seeing Bobby going down like that gave me flashback to me waiting for dad in the emercgency care. He passed away so soon, he didn't show any serious symptom until late at night, it got so bad that we went to the hospital right away. And unfortunately he passed away in his sleep in the next morning. And seeing the light goes off from Bobby's eyes like that, it's almost mirror when the light left my dad as I couldn't do anything but to watch from the sideline while the nurses tried and failed to resuscitate him.

I don't know why I'm writing all of this, maybe just to get things off my chest? Trying to make sense of everything? maybe a desperate plea for Bobby to come back? I don't know. I wish the showrunners and co. would think twice, three times even four times before doing something drastic like killing off a beloved character because of a sudden "creative idea". I wish they would think of the fans who's been watching them for years, who in their heart already considered these fictional characters almost like a family to them, and how doing something like killing them for the sake of 'drama' and 'creative idea' could really hurt some people. Sorry everyone always told me that I care too much and emphatize much about everything, including fictional characters in a fictional firefighter show.

Well if I could wish for one thing, it's for Bobby's death to be retconned. It has happened many times before in many shows, so I'm certain that this whole thing could be reversed somehow. He's such an important character to the series that his death, while heroic af is just to abrupt and make zero sence ofther than him dying and causeing a whole lot unecessary drama that no one want and the fact that Bobby's death was a "creative decision"? It didn't sit right to me and many others. If I'm not mistaken someone from the crew(maybe it was Oliver?) showed a script of Bobby's actually alive and is buried inside his coffin. That could work right??? It's wild enough and preposterous enough that it would fit in the show, right with the tsunami, truck bombing and the asteroid stuff. So yeah please, if you would, please for the love of God's bountiful mercy please bring Peter back and undo Bobby's death.

So yeah, I strongly wish Bobby woukld come back, and for all of this is just a werid fever dream/hallucination/concussion or others

If his fate is really has been set on stone, well all I could say was thank you. Thank you for making the last 3 years more bearable than ever in my life, especially after dad's passing, I don't know if I could watch the next season, maybe I need time, maybe it's time to drop it off altogether I don't know. And I wish all the actors & actresses, everyone in the production team others the best way forward. Know that at least everything you did so far has really gave this random viewer of yours another reason to fight for day by day.

Okay I rambled a lot so I should end this here, wish you the nbest!

~ Geoffrey(for the love of God it's NOT Jeff)

PS: Ignore the grammar and tenses, english is not my native language and these hand tremors making it hard to type proplery)

🚒👨‍🚒🧑‍🚒👩‍🚒🧯🔥

[rileys-battlecats]

Finally made some simple reference sheets for my little guys :D I also put together some little facts about them and their personalities :P

Minare

pronounced mee-NAH-ray

Half leader, half figurehead to the rebellion against the current king and his heir

The people who work with her respect her as the last scion of the true royal line, but also they have known her since she was Fresh Out The Womb so she's also kind of their baby. Collectively. Collective rebel baby

Disregard the fact she's like. Early twenties. That's their baby girl

This makes Minare A Little Insane. She loves the rebels, they've supported her and her family through the worst times they've seen in living memory, but also She's An Adult and she NEEDS to have someone respect her and her decisions.

Her opinions don't always hold the weight that she thinks they should, her being the future ruler of the kingdom and all

Much of her work in the rebellion is stunted by the fact that she is THE last of the true royal family, so she is Not Expendable. They have to keep her safe, and she knows why, but it's also a little infuriating that she can't help more

Dangerous missions are an Absoultely Not, but Mina still helps by doing safer missions and planning/strategizing

She's been given tons of self-defense training, and she carries a short blade with her just about everywhere. This is seen as slightly unusual, but ultimately understandable for a young lady when she's traveling on her own often. Like having a can of pepper spray with you

Makes casual friends very easily; she manages to seem incredibly open and personable while simultaneously telling you Nothing important about her personal life

That being said, she doesn't have many close friends. She doesn't want to put anyone in danger, and she also doesn't want to put herself or the rebels in danger by making an opening that could be exploited. Her friendship with Vaitus is something that happens without her really meaning for it to happen. She just looks up one day and realizes she's gotten way too attached to this guy that was supposed to just be another acquaintance

She's got a protective streak a mile wide. if she makes the connection in her brain that she's responsible for someone, they INSTANTLY become someone Under Her Protection. This clashes with the inherent sacrifices she has to make as a leader of a political rebellion with high stakes consequences for each decision made

If one were to ask a random citizen of the capital if they know Minare, 9 times out of 10 they're at least acquainted with her. she's always keeping an ear out for people who need help, and is known for being able to give them a hand. If she's not doing the helping herself, she probably knows a guy

Loves finicky work. tinkering, fixing things, touching up stuff, anything that most people would find boring to work on, she's your gal

Vaitus

I'm. not sure how to explain pronunciation like I did with Minare. It's 'Vai' like in 'vital', and 'tus' like in 'tusk'

Doing His Best™

Crown Prince of the kingdom. I think I might name the kingdom 'Acora' but I haven't decided on that quite yet

"Crown" Prince is kind of an unnecessary title, since there's no other heirs. There used to be! Up until Vaitus was around 7 years old, he was one of the last in line for the throne. But then An Event occurred. I will get into this event at another time, I've got a few animatic ideas for it :P

Vaitus is less than enthused (read: terrified) by the idea of becoming king one day, but he's also aware that the kingdom would almost certainly fall into chaos if the current king died without a ready heir. A rush to fill a power vacuum could tear the kingdom apart. So he just. keeps on keeping on!

Fantasy autism. it's just like real life autism except the royal physicians diagnosed him with "occasionally possessed of foul spirits and daemons" so the diagnosis wasn't really helpful. He has no idea why he suddenly loses the ability to speak (or sometimes even think) in high stress situations. this is especially unfortunate when most of his life consists of going from one high-stress situation to another

Very thoughtful. will not speak until he's got the full sentence ready + 3 possible follow up sentences depending on where the conversation goes

Animal lover. but he doesn't know this until he gets to interact with an animal. he meets one (1) stray dog and is so normal about it (lying)

TERMINAL rbf

Was told as a child that it's impolite to not make eye contact with people, so now he makes All The Eye Contact. he's being polite. wait what do you mean he's being scary

[winn-schott-throughtheheart]

i crash through the ceiling of your inbox to shamelessly beg for more Winn headcanons

do you have any thoughts on what the various foster homes/his childhood in general might have been like? i know there were some lines where his past was implied to be Not Great and it seemed like jeremy was adding some little details and mannerisms here and there to sort of deepen his character a little bit (bless the man, he tried) but the show proceeded to give us nothing and i thirst for more of my favorite little hobbit’s backstory

answering this Immediately because not even the lord himself could stop me from frothing at the mouth over winn schott

he never got fostered. not properly, at least. be was just bounced between different foster homes until he aged out of the system. this one is canon- he doesn't speak about any foster parents like kara does with the danvers, his "parents" will always be his biological parents

he's jewish! his dad was, at least, and they celebrated both christmas and hanukkah when he was little. none of the foster homes were very happy with this, however, and to this day he still doesn't really do hanukkah anymore.

he was actually a really trusting little kid. he fully believed in things like santa claus, because, well, who else would leave him toys specifically tailored to his likings under the tree every year?? it was only after his first christmas in foster care that he realised it had been his dad the whole time.

there's a bit of debate about the age he really was when his dad was arrested. he says he was 11 in 1x10, 10 in 2x21, and 9 when his dad threatened to kill him for the first time. assuming the middle one was just a generalisation, his mum either stopped interacting with him completely for two years beforehand, or she left that night, leaving him at the mercy of his father for two whole years, and maybe the phone call from the police station was a last ditch attempt. either way, winn was always a bit of a mamas boy, so that made it hurt even more, even though he was close with his dad.

he also gets on better with the girls than the guys because of that

he's never really been able to shake the maybe it was my fault? thoughts that linger in the back of his head.

and speaking of the night his dad threatened to kill him, he got the scar on his chin from that car crash

which also lines up irl because jerjor actually did get his scar from a car crash

he was actually diagnosed with autism quite young, but it was never really explained to him and something he had to do a lot more research on in his adult life to actually understand. it was also glaringly obvious that none of his foster homes actually cared, because he was still always treated as the outcast and told to stop being so weird, you're so difficult, why can't you just ignore it, be like the other kids.

a lot of that is why he has so much trouble asking for help even if he knows he needs it

whenever possible, he spent as much time as he could out of the house on his own. whether that be at the library, or the park, or at after school clubs, or just wandering the neighbourhood kicking rocks, he preferred to be on his own any day than stuck with everyone else. it never really mattered which home he was in.

if you look closely at his scenes, you'll notice winn actually flinches or makes himself look smaller a lot. whether it's loud noises, sudden movements or unexpected touch, he's jumpy. this is ESPECIALLY prevalent when he's with lyra. I personally take this to mean that maybe more than one foster home was physically abusive.

because of that he's also a lot more prone to shutdowns rather than meltdowns- the physical outburst response has long been trained out of him, both by said foster homes (for "acting out") and by himself, for fear of snapping and turning into his father if he showed too much negative emotion.

again, this is why he's the "comic relief" character- he isn't really all that happy, he just keeps all the unacceptable stuff down deep inside because he's scared of himself. he's learned to make jokes when he's uncomfortable instead of embracing it.

this poor guy yearns for a real father figure so bad. he was the queer, neurodivergent kid that had an unhealthy attachment to half of his teachers, because they showed him basic respect and dignity and they loved him, because he was quiet and studious and always did his homework on time and aced all his tests. he latched right onto j'onn for the exact same reason. notice how he's the only one allowed to call him papa bear?

he'd stay in various classrooms over break and lunch to avoid corridor bullying and having to eat in the bathroom. he was always happy to chat to the teacher and help with lesson plans, or catch up on some work or do some reading while he ate.

because of this isolation, he never really had any friends. he learned to fend for himself and he was skeptical of and wary around new people. he kept to himself all the way up until he met kara, who, in all her whimsy and fire and smiles, was completely insistent on getting to know him

when he left for the future, it all caught up to him very quickly after boarding the legion ship, and suddenly he was eleven years old again and being shipped between homes, having to leave behind everything he was just getting used to. that one stung a lot more than he would admit. he certainly wouldn't admit to crying himself to sleep the first night.

I think I actually said this already in a different post, but he hates the smell of teakwood and tobacco because it reminds him of an abusive foster home so much so that it literally makes him nauseous with anxiety.

he learned to hoard food because he could never be sure when his next meal was going to be, which is a habit he still carries to this day. he's defensive over his food, and still has a stash in his bedroom, even though he lives alone.

he Will work himself to the bone if someone doesn't stop him, which is because of a deep seated need to feel useful and wanted. if he isn't giving 100% of his energy at all times he feels as if he's useless, and scared he's going to be replaced.

I could definitely go on but I fear this is very long as it is lmfaooo he's just my little scrunkly scrimblo you agree.

[alexbkrieger13]

Cute

https://www.sueddeutsche.de/sport/olympisches-fussballturnier-berger-fassungslos-nach-aufstieg-zur-nummer-1-von-dfb-team-dpa.urn-newsml-dpa-com-20090101-240726-930-184810

Number 1 after thyroid cancer: “Happy ending” for Berger

Goalkeeper Ann-Katrin Berger was in Merle Frohms' shadow for a long time. At 33 and after difficult times, the Göppingen native has found her way between the posts in the DFB selection.

Marseille (dpa) - Deeply moved, Ann-Katrin Berger stood in the catacombs of the Stade Vélodrome and described her feelings in a halting voice. Two years after her second cancer diagnosis, the 33-year-old is suddenly the number 1 goalkeeper for the German women's soccer team at the Olympics . "The Olympic Games mean everything. That all the hard times that are behind me have simply been worth it," said Berger after the DFB selection's convincing 3-0 opening victory against Australia in Marseille.

Back to Thyroid Cancer 

Berger was first diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2017 and then during the 2022 European Championships, when she was a substitute for regular goalkeeper Merle Frohms in England. The goalkeeper from the US club NJ/NY Gotham FC quickly fought her way back into competitive sport. After her eleventh and most important international match to date, however, she had to struggle to keep her composure. "It's nice that there is still a happy ending. Playing at the Olympic Games is my happy ending," said Berger. 

In the second preliminary round match on Sunday (9 p.m.), also in the French port city, Berger and the DFB women will face the team of her adopted homeland. The Americans also won their opening match against Zambia 3-0. But the goalkeeper can't give national coach Horst Hrubesch much advice on their next opponent, even though she of course knows some of the players: "I have no idea. I don't watch that much women's football, to be honest." 

Berger thought she was being “fooled” by Hrubesch 

After a long wait, Berger has reached the top of the national team, even though she still wears the number 12. The fact that she finished third in the FIFA World Goalkeeper of the Year vote as Chelsea FC's goalkeeper in 2021 and 2022 did not change her reserve status in the German team at the time. 

Hrubesch had left the duel between Berger and Frohms open to the outside world until the very end. "I really thought he was trying to fool me. To be honest. I really couldn't believe it," Berger said a few days ago about the national coach's announcement that she would be between the posts. "Even when I was on the pitch, I had to pinch myself and say: It's really true." 

Captain Popp is happy for Berger 

Like the entire national team, Berger showed a very confident performance and almost set up a goal by Jule Brand with a long kick in the early stages. When asked how she managed to stay so cool, she said with a smile: "Years of work. Years of work, guys." She couldn't let her nervousness show. "I always think of my team. Because when I screw up, it's usually a goal." 

Captain Alexandra Popp was also happy "for Anne that she finally made it after a long, long time." Berger exudes extreme calm when she has the ball at her feet. Hrubesch, for whom Berger is the "new old woman," praised "her clearances, her control of the penalty area. She's good up in the air, and her footballing skills are also a plus." But it's the same with Frohms, he added: "Lucky for those who have two goalkeepers like her."

The praise is only a small consolation for the previous number 1 at VfL Wolfsburg, who has hardly done anything wrong in recent years. Hrubesch had spoken to her first before making his decision: "Of course she must have swallowed it one day, I'm quite sure of that." For Berger, the relationship with her teammate has therefore not changed much: "At the end of the day, we are sportswomen. Horst was simply clear and straightforward."

[joyschaoticsideblog]

At this point this is just gonna become a HSR blog but I feel the need to share. My brother has started playing HSR via my dad getting an account and giving it to him.

So for context for those unfamiliar with me and my blogs, I am 22, my brother is 9 (will be 10 in august), we are 12 years apart and I like to refer to him as my parents mid life crisis.

We are both diagnosed autistic (got it from our dad) and our hyperfixations tend to bounce off each other. I was grinding a lot to prep for Phainon, while also prepping for art fight (Joyful_Witch is the user btw if anyone is interested lol), so I let him do the combat for me since it was the first time he ever showed interest in the combat, and he got absolutely hooked.

See he’s been on and off watching me play this game since 1.0, so he is familiar with the astral express crew, and amphoreus especially he has gotten quite attached to the characters, so after discussing with my parents, as long as I am present he can play the game (Which I am partially glad for because I don’t think he is prepared for 3.4, especially since Hyacine is his favorite of the Amphoreus cast). He’s a really smart kid so he understands the game “isn’t real” but he still gets emotionally attached, as we all do. Since he is starting from the beginning, he has elected to not watch me play the updates going forward so he can do it himself.

Now that the explanation is out of the way, I’m going to explain the current experience of replaying the game with him, since we just finished Jarilo-VI. He has some very strong opinions on the characters which I find entertaining:

He finds Welt “cool and mysterious”.

Himeko has mom energy.

March is fun but a little overstimulating.

Dan Heng is his absolute FAVORITE. He finds his thirst for knowledge very relatable and likes his calm energy. I think this sorta cements the “Dan Heng is some flavor of neurodivergent” head canon I have. My brother agrees.

He loves the Landau siblings!

Serval is his 2nd favorite because she’s like a “cooler version” of me.

Immediately clocked Bronya and Seele (who he also thinks are very cool). They start d bickering and he paused the game and looked directly at me and went “they’re like you aren’t they. They like kissing girls and they’re gonna become girlfriends”. This kid has great gaydar. Probably because his sister is a raging lesbian.

Hates Sampo with a burning passion. Skips through his dialogue (once he confirms it’s not important with me lmfao), and whenever he is standing around, my brother will put Lynx on his team just to stab Sampo over and over.

Cocolia boss fight was a very interesting experience. He hated her and joked about her being homophobic. Luckily though he is very smart for his age, he did not quite grasp the emotional weight of her dying and was just happy to have “beaten the bad guy”. I was sitting on the couch and trying not to cry because I am a daughter very attached to my mother lmfao.

This has been a hilarious experience, and honestly so fun watching him fall in love with the Jarilo-VI cast (besides Sampo of course lmfao).

I will likely reblog this whenever anything else interesting happens.

[silentexplosive-diary]

7/2/25

So. Haven't been here in quite a while. Let me see if I can recount everything.

First off, partner fucking dumped me. Yeah, they got a car but never came to visit. In early April, they sent me a text asking if I was happy, then proceeded to dump me and blame me for... basically everything. And then, after a month of blocking them and trying to get over it, I come across proof that they're dating someone else... after only one month of us being broken up. I'm still mad about it. I don't want them back, don't get me wrong. I just don't see how they could say they love me and maybe we still do have a future together, and then get with someone else less than a month later.

I still feel overlooked at work. I actually cried about it a little this morning. I get to work early every morning, usually around 5:50am. I clock in, I do my job, I do everything asked of me and then some, I clock out. I don't know if I mentioned here that I was made shift lead/manager one day of the week (the bosses literally don't care if there's a difference), and that was well over a year ago. I've yet to hear any feedback on how I'm doing in that role from my bosses, and the only feedback I've ever gotten is from fellow employees, usually on their last day before they leave. One guy that just left us said that I've been a rock the entire time, meaning I've been so stable when things get crazy and uncertain. I still tear up thinking about that, mostly because all it brings up for me is how hard I try to stay steady, even when things are out of control, and get no recognition for it from my bosses.

While talking this over with my therapist once, she asked me on a scale of one to ten, how likely was I to be fired the next day? I said realistically, a one, but it constantly feels like a six.

I got a bunch of medical tests done, finally, and got a diagnosis for something I've been dealing with forever. When I was eighteen, I was put on a bad mix of medications, and it fucked me up so royally, I started sleeping around 20 hours a day, only getting up to eat and pee according to my mom. I didn't have a job and wasn't going to school at the time, but when I started working, I started cutting back my sleeping hours slowly but surely. After seven years, I've gotten it down to 14 hours a day, which still isn't very good. I was taking one to three naps per day, all ranging from about two to three hours, never going over three and a half hours. It just wasn't healthy. My uncle (who also passed this year) was diagnosed with narcolepsy, plus sleep apnea runs throughout my mom's side of the family. So, I got one sleep study done February 2024 to show that I did in fact have sleep apnea, then worked to get a dental device to wear while I sleep to help. Then in 2025, I had two more sleep tests done, plus a load of doctor's visits. I had another at-home sleep test plus a sleep test in a facility where they would hook me up to watch and monitor how I slept during the night and the day after.

When the results for both sleep tests came back late April, they showed I did not have narcolepsy, but instead idiopathic hypersomnia. So, basically, I sleep a lot and for no discernible reason. The treatment is the same, though, whether you have narcolepsy or idiopathic hypersomnia. It's a little stimulant pill that's just supposed to keep the sleep center of your brain awake. And it's been working. We've been tweaking the dosage since I've been on it for several reasons, but now I'm getting a more regular 9 or 10 hours of sleep per 24 hours.

That's all I can think of now, plus my fingers are starting to hurt, but if I think of anything else or anything major happens, I'll try to update.

🫶🏻✨️💕

[praetoravila]

Can you tell me more about Macie? 🩵

oh hell yeah. tagging @selangkir bc they asked to know more about macie as well!

she is my baby girl. first ever oc i ever came up with. used to write drabbles w her in my gr 5 english class. this girl is the start of it all for fandom for me guys

her storyline has changed a bit over the years but the general gist is, she’s a former beauty pageant kid who decides she wants to be a musician and moves to la!

she’s signed to rocque records and she is friends with btr! they’re like her older brothers. she’s closer to kendall and james of the four boys

her and katie are mischief partners for life.

she has cptsd (complex post traumatic stress disorder) and autism. she gets diagnosed with cptsd at age 9 and autism at age 17.

she’s been homeschooled her entire life (pageants made it hard for regular school bc of the hours she was putting in, and now it’s just her norm)

her mom and her have a…. complicated relationship which i touched on in this post. all macie wants is her mom’s love, but she’s also trying to reconcile with the fact that her mom is her abuser, and that a relationship with her mom is unsafe.

her and her dad are extremely close and he definitely spoils her (partly bc of his guilt over what happened with her mom)

she speaks three languages! english, spanish and cajun french! spanish is her first language and english is her second. she typically thinks in spanish then has to translate it to english

she releases 7 albums over her music career! aristotle is her debut album.

her favourite colour is seafoam green

her full name is maciella (a combination of macie and gabriella since those were the names her parents liked) evangeline smittens-garcia. most people just call her macie or mace. her dad calls her mac (pronounced mack) for short as well

she has two older sisters miranda and maeve who are identical twins and 10 years older than her