#(<- he hasnt done anything)

[mavilez]

roommate swap au

[7empesticide]

saw au where everything is the same except hoffman isnt an apprentice hes just really fucking weird so strahm is stalking this regular ass guy

[littledemo0n]

In honor of killer of killers finally out (and my brokeass not planning on buying any supscriptions anytime soon which means imma have to wait to pirate it) here's more of my Yautja's OC crew + the kids of red boy

[kaeyachi]

For once, I'd like to see a fic where there's a Kaeya fanclub and they just meet up to share thoughts about him or tell the others about the last sighting of him.

Unless they find an enemy. Then they do a whole operation to get rid of the menace.

Like, Keaya is the shadow who takes care of things in the background, and they'd be the shadows who take care of Kaeya in the backstage.

Random fan lady: I heard from the nuns at the church that Captain Kaeya came back hurt from his last mission.

Random ex-treasure hunter fan: wasn't the mission scheduled to be short and fast? *Narrows eyes* Why did he take so long?

Random knight fan: it was. Something must had happened. Captain Kaeya is not the type to get easily hurt.

Random fan lady: do you think there was foul game?

Random veteran adventurer fan: I think there was a trap, at least.

Cue a whole full room of people organizing coincidences to make the culprit fall and break a leg, the evidence of his crimes conveniently falling next to him.

Funnily enough, the group does exist in canon! Just not as unified as you prefer just yet. His own intel network/ secret friend group really adore him! (but also, who knows? Kaeya is his own unreliable narrator, after all. Maybe his fans + intel group have already built a society somewhere).

We have the ex-treasure hoarder nun and the nun's daughter that kaeya secretly saved

Vile, Kaeya's most notable informant who was also saved by him and is close enough to him to ask him to help with fixing Mond problems (she's also the one who calls him Prince Charming lmao)

Then we have captain Wu and his wife, who Kaeya has helped multiple times

And he also helped that one traveling play group in Sumeru several times too

and this is ignoring all of his admirers in general (like Nesmil, and that one mercenary dude who invited him to dance LMAO and technically we can count the director from the Veluriyam Mirage, though idk if he could help much)

His information network members are people he helped somehow in the past, and they just really insisted on helping him. They are full of admiration to him for sure.

and also, we kinda have Diluc doing the heavy lifting for the Kaeya defense specifically. So much so that HE WONT LET US SEE KAEYA FIGHT. AT THIS RATE IM GONNA TIE HIM UP JUST SO KAEYA CAN DO HIS THING.

But hey, does that fic really not exist? Because now that you mention it, I also haven't seen a fic like that :O The most I have seen are protective KoF and Diluc ones

Imagine the idea that it starts some kind of urban legend where Kaeya is secretly a diety from another land that just arrived to bless the fields of Dawn Winery or something, and that anyone who talks badly about him/hurts him gets cursed (said curses are caused by the Kaeya fanclub... and Diluc if they are unluckier than normal)

Oh you say Kaeya is a bad captain and start spreading rumors? Surprise fall down the stairs for you! (the tallest one in mond to be specific)

You think Kaeya is ugly and tell him regularly? Oh no, you get food poisoning that somehow wont go away!

You try to sabotage Kaeya's work to make him look bad? Well... break a leg! literally 💁

[divine-bloodlines]

Yoda, old fuck and head of a paramilitary cult: "Afraid are you? See through you, we can. Little bitch, are you?”

A 9-year-old who was legally considered property 4 hours ago:

[worstloki]

Loki didn't even do anything to the other Asgardians personally, unsure why they didn't like him so much and thought he was so suspicious

[1oo-acre-wood]

hughie biggs they could never make me hate you

[faunandfloraas]

Once in a while I see a comment from someone being like Wow it must be so hard for felix and chan to do aegyo being that they are australian men! You people understand nothing of australian men and their foolhardy attention seeking nature

[ghostinthegallery]

Whenever I see someone raving about a 40k character or faction or event or concept that I do not like or just fine incredibly boring, I remind myself that the odds are good we both have entirely different ideas if what those characters/factions/events even are. We may legit not be talking about the same things.

I'm not talking about having different tastes (which also happens). Between the books, codexes, more books, white dwarf, books, and fanfic it's so easy to get wildly different impressions about literally everything in 40k. Half the shit is made up by fans and the official stuff is contradictory. Nothing is canon, everything is true, the only constant is that your blorbo is a war criminal.

[averycutesalamander]

NO!! SNAKE BITE BOOTHILL I'LL FOREVER WAIT FOR YOI...... MY BELOVED

Silliness apart I 100% understand. I'll love anything you write. Can you give a taste of what ur writing right now? The 18k draft? I'm curious.....

by the way, do you think boothill would like whiskey? With 2 ice cubes?

-Snake Bite anon

edit: i wrote most of this like right when i got the ask (like two months ago i am SO sorry 💀) and meant to finish it immediately after but uhhh obviously that didnt happen. and in retrospect it is extremely funny how nervous i was to talk about this considering how bad my newest newest draft is. anyway here you go

-

oh god anon the can of worms youve just opened.. 😭 im sort of nervous talking about it but. im too obsessed with it to not finish and post it eventually so i guess i should just rip off the bandaid now.

cw pseudoincest under the cut but HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

ok so for the record this is NOT MY FAULT. i was talking with (redacted) about how sad it is that one of my favorite writers sees him as an uncle. like, it's a familial thing. and we were joking like "well that wouldnt stop me lmao am i right guys" and it was all in good fun.

and then i started. Thinking About It. and entirely against my will my brain formed a plot. and at first i was just gonna write like a drabble or something to get it out of my system but uh. well.

yeah. so. yeah. so. ok. i know this looks bad but HEAR ME OUT. also spoilers for the first uhhhhh maybe half of the fic ?? two thirds of the fic???

ok so. this initially takes place before the IPC arrival. the reader gets adopted by one of his sisters when she's 5 because she was alone in the desert. she cant talk, and by the time she can, she doesnt remember what happened, so whatever. she meets boothill (who i am presently calling ahiga because i literally could not dodge around the name for that long) when she's 7 and LET ME EMPHASIZE THAT IT IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC AT THAT POINT. 100% PLATONIC. THERE IS NO GROOMING IN THIS FIC. OR UNDERAGE. ZERO. ZIP. ZILCH.

so reader is like.. cripplingly lonely with some major attachment issues. her mama's farm is pretty far from everyone else and there aren't many kids her age in the family, so she doesn't have many connections when she's younger. and she's a quiet kid, so she doesnt get much attention from the rest of her relatives. boothill can kinda see this to some degree, and i think hes sort of acquainted with loneliness (although his is largely self-inflicted at this point) so he kinda goes out of his way to include her in stuff and be nice to her. NOT in a creepy way, just in a regular cool uncle way. he teaches her how to ride horses, gives her sweets when mama isnt looking, that kind of thing. they don't see each other all that often but it's enough that they have a pretty solid, positive relationship.

so when shes like 16 she forms a teeny tiny itty bitty crush on him. just like. a little thing. and shes VERY aware that that's fucked up and she should cut that out immediately, but the thoughts kind of linger. but like.. presumably that'll just.. iron itself out eventually. with time. it's fine.

and almost immediately after that the IPC shows up and shit goes down. she and mama get kicked off their ranch and have to go shelter with nick and graey, and in the next week or so many other relatives follow. boothill ends up dropping off his daughter (who im calling manaba in this fic for the sake of naming consistency) to join the rebellion. reader helps out with the war effort, does supply runs, that kinda thing. when the ipc finally gives the kill order, shes between towns, and since they're targeting population centers, she escapes the direct blasts and shelters in a river to avoid the ensuing wildfires.

not everyone is so lucky, obviously. no one in her family (that she knows of) survives. some shit happens, but she ends up getting picked up by a group of survivors. skipping the details, several years go by. she doesnt really make any new friends, and the loneliness sinks its teeth into her - so she relies on the past to keep her grounded. the memories of her mom feel too painful, but her memories of her uncle feel.. safer. kinder, in a way. and in the back of her head, that tiny crush starts to fester. subconsciously, she starts to feed it, because the loneliness is ripping her apart, and this weird fucked up little fantasy feels like the safest way for her to keep it at bay. it's not a conscious thing, though. she's actively disgusted and disturbed by it every time it crosses her mind. it just kind of.. stews in the background.

she starts sleeping around to sate that loneliness. "There's a void in you that you haven't managed to fill. Something about having someone's hands on you makes the ache a little quieter, a little more manageable, but not by much." it's not born out of love, or any kind of affection - just a feral sort of desperation.

she never really feels like her partners fit her. when she finally realizes that shes chasing people with features that remind her of her dead fucking uncle, she promptly declares herself a freak forever and sentences herself to celibacy until she can figure out whatever the fuck is wrong with her brain.

she ends up leaving the planet, because staying is too painful. im a little foggy on the details here, but tldr she finds a mentor and gets into the tech scene, then the hacking scene, then starts doing what she can do fuck with the ipc wherever possible, etc etc. somehow, experiencing the impossible vastness of the universe, being surrounded by a functionally infinite amount of people, feels more lonely than ever. she's just kind of adrift in the world - sending money back home to help people make end's meet, generally just trying to find a reason to live beyond fear. there's a storm of emotions brewing inside of her - the hatred and the terror and the grief. she does all she can to spite the IPC, but it never feels like enough. it never feels like it does any good.

and then, years after the massacre, she's at a bar meeting with a client, and she sees him, and he sees her. and she's thinking "holy fucking shit that's my dead uncle" and he's thinking "holy fucking shit that's my dead niece" and they reunite and stuff. very heartwarming, very sweet, lots of tears (well. from her at least. he can't partake obviously 💀) and they start catching up over drinks.

and that's when he tells her his mission - that he knows who pulled the trigger, and who was behind the slaughter of their people. and she latches onto that HARD, because now she has a specific target for her emotional turmoil instead of the vague, amorphous concept of "the company." etc etc etc they agree to team up because he could use someone to help with behind-the-scenes stuff. and also because it's really nice to have someone around from home. so they exchange contact info and stuff, yay yay yippee

so they chat more, and they drink more, and reader maaaaaybe kinda sorta drinks a little too much. more than a little, actually. more than enough that her hold on her inner monologue slips and she starts thinking about how pretty he is. and suddenly that dormant little harmless crush that she was subconsciously feeding is swinging back around with a vengeance, because now it's real, and he's here, and he's ALIVE, and god did his lips always look that soft or-

and. well. eventually she uh. she might maybe kinda sorta ask if she can kiss him. and then processes the words that just came out of her mouth and starts CRYING because what the FUCK is wrong with her. and he like.. never addresses it directly. he just calms her down and makes sure she gets back to her hotel room and fucking DIPS.

BUT THE THING IS. THE THING IS. SHE WAKES UP THE NEXT MORNING. AND DOESN'T REMEMBER DOING IT. SO NOW HE KNOWS!! BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HE KNOWS!!!! AND THEY HAVE TO ACT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

so the next bit is kinda loose and im probably gonna tweak some things. but. but. they have to go on a mission together. and.

yeah. im. yeah. they have to go to a bdsm club. together. and im sure you can guess. where im going with that. theres a particular section from the club scene that has been absolutely CONSUMING ME but idk if i should share that yet jawhbdjahwdbjawbajd unless somebody asks nicely ig. but jesus christtttttttttt it makes me feel insane. this whole fic makes me feel insane. the ending makes me want to chew my hands off but we'll get there when we get there. fucking pray for me because im not seeing the gates of heaven with this one

[parrot-parent]

I'm so fucking frustrated with vet care rn, I shan't lie.

[laikamaeris]

sorry for even posting this one. but its kind of true to me

[screechingfromthevoid]

The cape wrapping was too much for me I have to leave

[puke-ur-gutz]

i will cashapp $10 to the first person who can name 3 real life harmful things bob bryar did without accusing him of thought crime

[forkaround]

Nothing Ramil does gives me any confidence that he can protect Paytai. But that's on the writers.

[httpiastri]

Do u still dislike isack as much as before? Because honestly watching his content in f1 (vcarb tiktoks) and interview with the rookies definitely made me like him so much more than before since his personality seems really nice

funny how u sent me this yesterday, aka before today's race, and then that happened during the formation lap and... i was happier than ever..... like it was 5am, i was truly debating if i should go back to bed, but then suddenly i see a certain vcarb standing still in the grass and suddenly i had so much energy 😭

i have seen the tiktoks and the interviews, and i understand why you would feel like that. but to me, him seemingly having a sense of humor (or whatever it is that those videos are showing) doesn't take away from the fact that i think that he seems like a shitty person. it doesn't magically make me forget the way he treated his teammate last year, or the way he talked to and about (on social media, even!!) his team and the people who work their asses off to make his car good. idk i think its just a respect thing? i don't respect him because he seemingly doesn't respect the people around him. i understand if you want to feel bad for him today, but in my world, he deserves it and this is just the universe's payback 🤷‍♀️