#((CHAOS))

[smokebombsandspotlights]

🏎️ "catch her if you can"

pairing: F1 grid x toddler!Wolff!Reader (platonic) words: 1,211 genre: humor, fluff, chaos summary: Toto and Susie’s toddler daughter, Y/N, just learned how to walk—and insists on sprinting like she's racing in the Grand Prix herself. During a race weekend, she escapes again… and the entire grid is in full-on catch the baby mode.

warnings: none! just pure chaos, Formula 1 drivers being comedic uncles, and a turbo-powered toddler.

🏁 🧸 “why is a baby outrunning an entire grid of professional drivers?”

It started with a clunk.

No one thought anything of it. There are always clunks in the paddock—tools dropped, tires moved, radios bumped. But when the unmistakable sound of little sneakers tapping against the paddock pavement joined the mix, the engineers in the Mercedes garage turned in unison like meerkats.

“Oh no,” muttered Fred, the comms guy.

“Oh yes,” said George Russell, who recognized the tapping instantly. “She’s out again.”

“Someone get Toto,” one of the engineers whispered, half afraid.

George just sighed. “By the time we find Toto, she’ll be in AlphaTauri.”

Y/N Wolff, the not-quite-two-year-old daughter of Toto and Susie Wolff, had just recently mastered the art of walking.

But walking?

She hated it.

She ran everywhere.

Ran like her life depended on it. Ran like someone had told her the last juice box in the world was on the other side of the paddock. Ran like her teeny legs were powered by a V6 turbo-hybrid.

Charles Leclerc was the first victim.

He had been calmly sipping water near the Ferrari pit wall when something blurred past him.

He blinked. “Was that…?”

“What?” asked Ollie Bearman beside him.

Then came the scream of a mechanic: “SHE’S OUT AGAIN!”

“Ah, so it was the baby,” Charles said slowly.

“Do we… do we catch her?” Ollie asked.

“Oui.”

They took off.

In the McLaren garage, Lando Norris ducked under the front wing of his car just in time to hear the familiar stampede.

“Wait—”

Swoosh.

A baby, tiny arms flailing in joy, zipped through the McLaren garage like she had DRS and a tailwind.

Oscar Piastri turned mid-interview and watched her fly by. “Is that Y/N again?”

“Yep,” said Lando, already pulling off his cap and bolting after her. “It’s Wolff Jr. in the lead!”

Pierre Gasly saw her next.

He’d just finished taking a selfie with a fan when Y/N parkoured over a low cable with the elegance of a gymnast and a trail of shouting drivers behind her.

“She cleared that?” he said, mouth agape.

Esteban Ocon joined him, wide-eyed. “That baby just jumped a wheel gun.”

“…Should we help?”

“I don’t know if we can.”

“Y/N!” Logan Sargeant shouted, kneeling near the Williams pit wall and opening his arms. “Come here! I have… stickers!”

She paused.

Paused.

Everyone behind her froze like it was a wildlife documentary.

Then she giggled and bolted left straight into the Haas garage instead.

“You tried,” Kevin Magnussen said, patting Logan on the back.

Meanwhile, back at Mercedes—

Toto stood with arms crossed, one eye twitching. “She was right here.”

“She’s small, boss,” Lewis Hamilton said through the comms, his voice full of amusement. “And fast. Slippery, too.”

“Why is my daughter faster than George in sector three?” Toto grumbled.

“Oi!” George said, out of breath, somewhere in the background. “Not cool!”

In the Red Bull garage, chaos had reached a new level.

“I see her!” yelled Checo Pérez. “She’s under the pit gantry!”

“Block her exit!” Yuki Tsunoda yelled.

But Y/N, tiny F1-branded bucket hat bouncing on her head, ducked under a suspension cart, climbed over a tire stack like a monkey, and emerged on the other side looking thrilled.

“She thinks it’s a game,” Carlos Sainz wheezed.

“Is it not?” Daniel Ricciardo asked, half laughing as he joined the chase. “Because I’m pretty sure this is her race weekend.”

Even Kimi Antonelli—baby-faced rookie and a fellow chaos goblin—was laughing breathlessly.

“Okay but why is she beating us all,” he gasped as he jogged alongside Alex Albon.

“She’s like 2,” Alex said. “And still better on the brakes than half the grid.”

Zhou Guanyu, sitting peacefully in the Stake garage, simply lifted his phone.

“Live streaming this for my fans,” he said serenely. “This is better than Netflix Drive to Survive.”

Back in Ferrari territory, Lewis Hamilton heard the approaching footsteps.

Correction—stampede.

Then: giggle giggle stomp stomp stomp.

Lewis turned just in time to see her rounding the corner, full speed, grinning like she'd just won Monaco.

He knelt instantly. “Hey, princess,” he called out. “Wanna sit in the car?”

That did it.

She skidded like she was on slicks in the rain and zoomed toward Lewis without hesitation. Right before she tripped over a power cord, Lewis scooped her up in one motion, calm as ever.

“Gotcha.”

The entire paddock broke into cheers like a checkered flag had just waved.

George Russell dropped to the ground dramatically. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Charles wheezed. “She outran all of us.”

“She was giggling, too,” Lando added. “Like she was enjoying it.”

“She was enjoying it,” Lewis chuckled, adjusting her hat. “She thought we were all playing tag.”

“Because we were,” Carlos said. “We just didn’t know it until it was too late.”

Toto arrived a minute later, red-faced, hands on hips.

“Y/N,” he groaned, “you promised you’d stay in the hospitality tent.”

She beamed down at him from Lewis’s arms and said the only word she ever said clearly besides “no” and “snack.”

“Vroom.”

Everyone laughed.

Ollie Bearman wiped sweat from his forehead. “She’s got racing in her blood, that’s for sure.”

“Better watch out,” joked Oscar. “She’s already faster than half of us.”

“She’s faster than all of us,” Esteban said seriously. “I’m going to start training again tomorrow.”

“Max is lucky he missed this,” Yuki muttered. “He would’ve challenged her to a qualifying lap.”

Y/N tapped on Lewis’s chest with her tiny fist. “Car?”

“You wanna sit in the car?”

She nodded, eyes big.

Lewis looked over at the Ferrari mechanics.

“Can we get her buckled in for a photo op?”

One of the crew members already had a toddler-sized helmet ready. “We’ve been waiting for this.”

🚗 15 MINUTES LATER

The entire grid stood in a semicircle around the Ferrari garage as Y/N sat proudly in Lewis’s car, gripping the steering wheel like she was ready for lights out.

Pascale, Charles’s mom (who’d stopped by for the weekend), wiped away a tear. “She looks just like Toto when he used to drive.”

“She’s literally two,” George said.

“She’s literally terrifying,” Alex added.

“She’s going to win a world championship before I do,” joked Logan.

“She’s going to win one before any of us,” said Lando.

The Ferrari media team snapped a photo.

caption: future champion? toto’s daughter y/n wolff takes over the grid—and no one could stop her 💨

The comments exploded.

“why did she outrace 20 fully grown men?” “put her on pole.” “this is the most entertaining grand prix since brazil 2023.” “LEWIS FINALLY GOT A NEW TEAMMATE 😭” “y/n wolff is the chaos the grid deserves.”

Back at Mercedes, Susie arrived just in time to see the post-run-down toddler being handed a juice box like she’d just won a race.

“I was gone for ten minutes,” she sighed.

Toto didn’t even look surprised. “She ran through seven garages and somehow ended up in a Ferrari.”

Susie just smiled fondly. “Well. Racing’s in her blood.”

“God help us all,” George muttered from the floor.

And in her stroller, finally tucked in with her bunny plush and her bottle, Y/N looked up at the stars above the paddock roof and murmured, barely awake:

“Vroom.”

END.

[radishearts]

My favourite friendship on Hermitcraft :D!!!

They are NEIGHBOURS ur honour <3

[brushray]

Dark Mechanicus Broodmother

[chaos-ducks]

My oc wasn’t violent and traumatized enough so I gave her the voice of the villain inside her head and she’ll just take over her body sometimes :)

[illumizoldycksdryshampoo]

How would genshin men react if you tried to cook for them and nearly set the kitchen on fire?

(GENDERNEUTRAL READER.)

-

including: diluc, kaeya, zhongli, tartaglia/childe, albedo, neuvillette, wriothesley, kazuha, scaramouche/wanderer, arataki itto, alhaitham, kaveh!

this is a bit chaotic but wholesome too in a way I guess? 😭

have fun reading!

-

Diluc:

- Internally panicking but keeps a straight face while grabbing the fire extinguisher with perfect efficiency.

- Once the flames are out: “Are you alright? That’s all that matters.”

- Lowkey traumatized and bans you from the kitchen—he’ll do the cooking from now on.

- Secretly touched you wanted to cook for him, but he expresses it by teaching you safety first like it’s Knight training.

-

Kaeya:

- Laughing even as the fire spreads: “Darling, I didn’t know you were aiming for flambé.”

- He puts the fire out coolly, smirking the entire time like it’s a comedy show.

- 100% tells Diluc about it later with dramatic flair: “You should’ve seen the inferno of love they made me.”

- Finds it adorable and milks it for teasing rights forever.

-

Zhongli:

- Calm as hell. Doesn’t even flinch.

- “Let us step back. I will take care of this.” — summons geo constructs to contain the fire.

- Gives you a full historical lecture on fire hazards in Liyue’s culinary history afterward.

- Genuinely honored you tried. Offers to teach you with the patience of a saint.

-

Tartaglia (Childe):

- Immediately dives into action like it’s a Fatui mission.

- “Fire? In my kitchen? Not on my watch.”

- Afterward: “You almost assassinated me, babe. I loved it.”

- Laughs his ass off, genuinely finds it thrilling, and insists you try again (with supervision).

- Brags to Teucer (his little brother) like, “they nearly blew up my house. Isn’t that romantic?”

-

Albedo:

- Fascinated rather than alarmed. “Interesting reaction. What did you combine?”

- Draws a sketch of the fire afterward.

- Calmly fixes everything, even the scorched pot, then gives you a chemistry-based cooking lesson.

- Sweetly encourages you to keep trying because curiosity is key in both alchemy and love.

(guys trust me this is 100% how he would act😭😭 nonchalant ahh)

-

Neuvillette:

- Extremely composed but internally screaming like a worried parent.

- Summons rain to put it out in 2 seconds flat.

- Afterward, quietly sets up a detailed set of kitchen rules and safety protocols. You now have a cooking license exam.

- “I am not angry. Merely concerned. Also, please refrain from touching open flames ever again.”

-

Wriothesley:

- Lowkey impressed and highkey amused.

- “You tried to cook for me and almost burned down the Fortress? Now that’s devotion.”

- Puts it out fast, throws open a window, and immediately orders takeout.

- He starts cooking with you after that—“We’re a team now. One stirs, one doesn’t burn down the kitchen.”

-

Kazuha:

- Calm, graceful—even as the flames rise.

- “The wind is restless today… perhaps a sign to order takeout?”

(this mf ALWAYS has to include ‘the wind’ in EVERYTHING..)

- Helps you clean everything with a gentle smile.

- Writes a haiku about the incident:

“In a loving blaze,

You set the stove — and my heart —

Alight with chaos.”

-

Scaramouche / Wanderer:

- Screaming. Screaming.

- “What the hell were you thinking?! That’s MY favorite teapot!”

- Grumpily stomps around putting it out, muttering insults the whole time.

Later: “Don’t do that again, idiot.” (translation: I care about you.)

-

Arataki Itto:

Screaming louder than usual..you know you fucked up now 😭. Runs around like, “IT’S GONNA BLOW!”

- Somehow makes the situation worse before fixing it with brute strength (throws a pot of water—misses).

- Thinks it was the most epic thing ever and wants to help you “cook” again tomorrow. (Totally wasn’t panicking 2 secs ago.)

- Proud of you for trying and tells the gang about it like a legend: “My babe? Almost burned down the kitchen for love. Hell yeah.”

-

Alhaitham:

- Sighs like his soul just left his body.

- Puts the fire out with silent, efficient movements. Doesn’t say a word until it’s over.

- Then: “I told you following a random blog recipe without measurements was a bad idea.”

- He cooks for you every time after that. Will let you chop vegetables at most. Maybe.

- Secretly loves that you tried so hard for him.

-

Kaveh:

- Screeches like a drama queen: “My curtains! My custom backsplash tiles! THE AMBIANCE!”

- Flails but still manages to put the fire out with decent control (he’s more capable than he seems).

- Sinks to the floor dramatically after and groans, “Why is my life like this?”

- Still insists on helping you become a better cook because he’s a hopeless romantic and believes in you.

—

(that was it guys! this took me so long to write because I wanted to make their reactions as accurate as I could 😭 I think I did pretty well though. Would you guys want a version where the reader actually makes a really good meal/their fav meal and their reactions to it? 👀)

[azure-aeon-soulstar]

Awaaaaaaa

picture i use when i want to look vulnerable but weaponize it

[avocad0-t0ast]

Idk you get my silly guys :3

I’ll probably post way less now bc of school+taking time off internet for my mental health but i might start a yt channel or smth! :3

[diabolicalevil]

I like the idea chaos or erda weren't responsible for the primarchs getting launched and that the emperor did that. for character building. or because malcador annoyed him that day either works

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

Word Bearer by Helge C. Balzer

[smokebombsandspotlights]

AAAA I LOVEEEE CHAOS CREW 🥹🥹 what ifffff yk that vid of will smith tying lewis up? 😂😂 what if chaos crew y/n does that but to max/lando/oscar and is like “it’s my brother’s turn give others a chance man” (but like hours hours before important stuff so they don’t actually get in trouble haha) thank uou so muchhh

🏁 “Chaos in the Paddock” – Part 1: Roped Into Trouble

Characters: Y/N Leclerc, Charles Leclerc, Arthur Leclerc, Lorenzo Leclerc, Kimi Antonelli, Ollie Bearman, Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri Genre: Platonic, Slice of Life, Humor, Fluff, Family Dynamics Warnings: mild language, mischief, siblings causing mayhem WC: 950

A/N: I laughed while writing this lmaooo.

Y/N Leclerc had learned one very important lesson from her series of GP paddock invasion:

If you caused chaos, do it in style.

And do it before the FIA or your older brother could catch you.

Barcelona GP – Friday morning

The sun was barely up when Y/N, Kimi, and Ollie gathered in a quiet corner of the paddock with an alarming amount of rope, duct tape, and an empty Red Bull energy crate.

“This is insane,” Ollie whispered, glancing around. “We’re definitely going to get banned for this.” “No we won’t,” Y/N said confidently, adjusting her sunglasses. “We’re doing it hours before media. Plenty of time for them to escape.” Kimi shrugged, already tying a knot. “I watched a YouTube tutorial on quick-release rope tricks.” “Of course you did.”

The target? The “big three” who had collectively denied Ferrari a podium streak for weeks: Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, and Oscar Piastri.

“Operation Give My Brother a Chance,” Y/N declared, hands on her hips. Ollie wheezed. “That’s the dumbest name ever.” “Name a better one.” “Operation Ropes and Regrets?” “Approved,” Kimi deadpanned.

Phase 1: Lure the Victims

Lando Norris was first. Easy prey.

Y/N strolled past McLaren hospitality holding a tray of pastries like she worked there. “Hey Lando,” she called sweetly. “Want a croissant?”

He perked up immediately. “Uh—yeah?”

He didn’t even notice Ollie and Kimi creeping up behind him until the rope looped around his torso. “WHAT THE—?!” “Shhh!” Y/N hissed. “Community service for bullying Ferrari. We’re letting other people win this weekend.”

Within thirty seconds, Lando Norris was tied to a chair with a croissant in his mouth, muffling his laughter.

Next up: Oscar Piastri.

He was harder to catch because he was suspicious of everything Y/N did now.

“Hey, Oscar, can you help me carry this?” she said innocently, holding up a crate of water bottles.

“…Why do you need me?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “Because you’re nice and Charles says you’re the responsible McLaren.”

He sighed and grabbed the other side of the crate. That’s when Kimi popped out from behind a stack of tires and looped the rope around him like a rodeo star.

“GUYS—what the hell—?!” “Relax!” Y/N said between giggles. “You’ll thank us later. Think of it as… team-building.”

Now they had two McLaren drivers tied side by side in a quiet corner of the hospitality area, wheezing with laughter and disbelief.

Phase 2: The Boss Level

Max Verstappen.

This was risky.

“Are we sure about this?” Ollie whispered. “He’s like… scary calm. He might just pick us up and put us in the harbor.” “He’s a cat at heart,” Y/N insisted. “Distract him with something shiny and we’re fine.”

They waited until Max was walking from the Red Bull motorhome with headphones in.

Y/N jumped in front of him dramatically. “Max! Quick! There’s a stray cat in the paddock!”

He actually paused. “…A cat?” “Yes! Tiny. Helpless. Maybe Dutch.”

That gave Ollie and Kimi enough time to pounce.

Five chaotic seconds later, the three-time world champion was sitting on the ground, loosely tied with rope, glaring at the trio while Y/N pretended to wipe sweat off her brow like it was a heroic rescue.

“This is… ridiculous,” Max muttered, deadpan. “Community service!” Y/N announced. “Charles’s turn to win. The FIA can thank us later.” Max sighed and leaned back against the barrier, oddly resigned. “You are lucky this is before FP1.”

[🎥: Fan TikTok] 🎶 Mission Impossible theme playing 🎶 [Clips of Y/N, Ollie, and Kimi tying Lando, Oscar, and Max with rope while giggling uncontrollably.] Caption: CHAOS CREW STRIKES AGAIN #babyLeclerc #chaoscrew #landohelp #maxunbothered

When Charles finally found them, he didn’t know whether to scream or laugh.

He turned the corner to see his sister, sunglasses on, crouched in front of three world-class drivers tied to folding chairs, eating snacks like they were at a picnic.

“Y/N. What. The. Hell.”

She grinned. “Hi, Charlie! We’re doing paddock community service!” “…By kidnapping half the grid?!” “They volunteered in spirit.”

Lando, Oscar, and Max all waved awkwardly, clearly in on the joke by now.

Charles dragged a hand down his face. “Maman is going to see this.” “She’ll be proud of my knot skills,” Y/N chirped.

[📸: Charles Leclerc IG Story] Photo of Lando, Oscar, and Max tied up with rope, all laughing while Y/N and Chaos Crew pose like proud pirates. Caption: send help. #chaoscrew #idontknowher #groundedforever

They let the drivers go a full two hours before media duties, and by then, the video had already gone viral.

Sky Sports: “Y/N Leclerc and her so-called ‘Chaos Crew’ have roped in—literally—three F1 drivers in a stunt that fans are calling the funniest paddock moment since Will Smith tied up Lewis Hamilton in 2017.”

Lando Norris (post-interview): “Honestly, I didn’t even fight it. She had snacks.” Oscar Piastri: “I’m starting to think being friends with Y/N is a liability.” Max Verstappen: “…It was peaceful. I took a nap.”

That night, Charles sat in the Ferrari motorhome, head in hands, as Lorenzo scrolled through the trending hashtag #LeclercPaddockPirates.

“She’s eighteen,” Charles muttered. “She can vote. But she’s out here kidnapping Lando Norris.” Lorenzo smirked. “She’s living her best life.”

Arthur leaned against the doorframe, smirking. “Think she’ll ever calm down?” Charles shook his head. “No. And somehow… I’m scared to admit it’s kind of funny.”

From across the room, Y/N’s laugh rang out as Kimi and Ollie plotted their next “community service project.”

The Chaos Crew was unstoppable.

[📱: Chaos Trio GC] Y/N: new record, 3 drivers tied in under 15 mins 😎 Ollie: paddock speedrun world record holder Kimi: next time we go for 4 Y/N: …George looks tie-able Ollie: bet.

End.

A/N: I'm up for a Part 2 if your up.

[trve-grimdark]

The K'daai, also called K'daai Fireborn and in the dark tongue of the Chaos Dwarfs, the K'daai Zharr, which means "Scion of Fire" or the "Fireborn".

[idkwhatimdoing-help]

Me trying to explain to my cat that her failing to kill a single fly that sitting on the cieling won't make me disown her STOP TRYING TO THROW YOURSELF OUT THE WINDOW PLEASE LEAVE THE FLY ALONE

[voiceofruin444]

yah know.....

As a lazy chaos magic practitioner, I'm of the opinion that chucking a spell into the bin at the gas station is the same as burial at a crossroads.

[chaos-ducks]

Writing prompt:

She disappeared, never to be seen again, into the wilderness, alone

And she was happy.

Or waaaas she?????

[avocad0-t0ast]

coil after stealing sub spaces shit idk man