#((Hi! I dont mind rping but a heads up: I have a story going. Might be best to check the ‘plot line’ tag if your interested

[the-porn-demon]

Husk let out a lazy yawn as he slumped at the bar, idly swirling a glass of cheap, mediocre booze. Half-asleep and with his head propped on one hand, he scanned the room in his usual, indifferent way. That was when a flash of pink snagged his half-lidded gaze—a familiar figure was ambling over. With a resigned roll of his eyes, he grumbled, "Hey, look who decided to show up."

Ever since right before the extermination—when, against all odds, they put aside their differences—Husk and Angel have been on some seriously weird terms. Even though Husk and the pornstar have managed to forge an unlikely bond and a shared understanding, Angel still remains, well... Angel. ( @husktheloser )

What’s the long face for kitten? Missing a hot date or somethin’? Angel pulled up a seat at the bar and crossed one leg over the other. Oooor, were you just missing me? Pour me something sweet, it’s been a long day.

[useless-donut]

oh my god i played through both endings of astarions companion quest and spoilers below - it's really just an extremely long ramble

btw i just mean the finale of his quest, not the ending after the whole game

BOTH ARE SO DEVASTATING AND IM OBSESSED WITH BOTH OPTIONS

i rly like to play like im rping my tavs personality so that'll influence the end i go with on other playthroughs but woof

i love that larian gave us the one consequence that might make the power of ascension not worth it... fundamentally changing how astarion relates to and treats us. i REALLY thought id be chill with this option bc i love a power hungry man & my tav would die for him, but it hit SO much harder than i thought it would. maybe also because it was 2 am. but like im obsessed with the difference because of course it changes him—the man emotionally devastated by seeing his past victims deciding to condemn them all, and 6,000 other souls, for the allure of power and safety? and then reaching that unlimited power?

on one hand, seeing him lose that mix wariness & fondness & softness & bravado was GUTTING but also its very sweet that despite basically ascending to vampire godhood, he so badly wants to keep you around. even if, at the moment, he is still wrapping his head around his power and doesn't really see you as an equal lover anymore, vs. an item arguably at the top of things he wants

the lines where he stays hes toootally joking about calling you a pet and that you'll be too obedient for him to need to compel you, and his desire to keep you as a thrall & not give you agency... those are the lines that really killed me and sold the idea that our relationship was fundamentally altered. the "i love you... is what you want to hear, isnt it?" is also brutal, but astarions almost verbatim said that before lmao so i dont mind it as much, hes just silly

the break up options were really satisfying tho ngl and i love that theres two routes where you apologize for even bringing it up and you stay together, when in the past he'd act shocked if you ever chose to be with him

this ending also REALLY made me want to write a self insert (tav insert) fix it fic where you dump him for being a condescending asshole and after a long period of time and yk pining and mourning on your part, astarions going to finally decide maybe he does want a lover with agency and have like this nice slow burn of his personality resurfacing through all that power

like the vampire ascendant astarion rly felt like it was just like 900 tons of power smooshed into an astarion skin suit, and i love the idea that he would find his way back to himself eventually (but maybe after losing you... so sad... maybe he will come back and do the worst approximation of begging youve ever seen...)

anyway for the other ending, i mean. if youve gotten there you know what i mean. its lovely and bittersweet bc consequences and i think larian went a little too hard on selling us that this was the "good" outcome. however. i dont actually care because i played through it after the former version and WOW it was like the most relieving thing ever? to see him acting like himself again, and also very sweet to see how he relates to us afterwards. really up in my feels about how much he trusts us and also relied on us in that moment to remind him of his priorities. as he both he and us were perfectly aware he is exactly the type of personality to be absolutely corrupted by absolute power lmao (which is cute of him)

i thought it was also very interesting that in that moment you persuade him, he approves—like even in the heat of the moment, he didnt truly want to forget everything he cared about outside of safety and power. i didnt get an approval notif for him when i helped him go through with it, but it could just be bugged lol. anyway i rly love that that moment shows so clearly how ascending is a decision driven by fear and hunger for power, not by considering what he wants out of life

anyway my unfiltered thoughts:

we know a great deal about astarions wants and fears and desires from his story

- he desires freedom more than anything

- but that's not ALL he desires. it's freedom in abstract, but also freedom to be himself and to have a sense of who he even is in the first place. he know he deeply mourns losing touch with who he was when he was alive

- he fears being controlled by others, but has also never shown desire to control others in return

- he wants real intimacy & partnership and was afraid he couldn't figure out how to do it, how to relate to any of it without being coerced

because of all this, i do think the ascended vampire is more tragic for him. as an individual, he is happier, but as astarion, the person we've been getting to know—his new life doesn't meet his needs any better than the non-ascended version does. he'll talk about being free, but all he wants to do is... subjugate the world? control everyone and everything around him? like since when?

what really stood out to me is this man who LOVED the sun, missed it in the underdark, was amazed by seeing baldurs gate in light, he wants to cover everything in darkness. for his thralls he supposedly cares for (after sacrificing 7,000 of them for this power)

imo he gained a lack of fear and he gained safety, but the other things he wanted he didnt rly get, which i have more thoughts on than i really want to write here

umascended, he is still free, maybe less safe but that safety is in his control now, at least. and he probably could still swing a castle and an eternal lover if he wanted (did he even become a full vampire? i feel like he must have somewhere along the way) ngl.

anyway to sum it up, i love him so much both directions and will follow him around forever like a puppy regardless of what path he takes