#((i fail most months SO
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
failure and futility
for day 2 of campfire fest! prompt: third eye (and i guess could also count for explosion, or a lack thereof lol) @outerwilds-events
#i meant to do something yesterday but i had a crazy shift at work and was feeling lazy lol#anyways. pye and idaea after the probe didn't work#this line of text is the first thing that comes to mind for 'third eye' for me bc its the only evidence/in-game mention of the nomai's -#- third eye being special/different from the other two in some way. im curious if it is actually composed differently and has better vision#or if it is just better for seeing fine details in things directly in front of them since it is forward-facing as opposed to -#- being on the sides of their head#also i just think about these two a lot. can you imagine being co-leaders of the most difficult and controversial part of a massive project#that is so important to so many people including your friends family members and ancestors who have died in search of what you are -#- going to potentially destroy your entire clan while attempting to find#you are building a weapon intended to destroy yourself and the entire star system you were born in#and your co-leader is the person with quite possibly the most opposite opinions and disposition to you#idaea having to grapple with the fact that the failure of something he never wanted to exist in the first place is still upsetting to him -#- because despite their differences he still sympathizes with pye who was so confident and wanted it to work so badly#and both of them as well as anyone else working at the sun station put so much time and energy into constructing it#and that work was so miserable due both to the heat and the tension due to their differing opinions and their own mixed feelings on it#pye having to admit defeat to everyone else working on the project who were so excited for this to finally give them the answer#in front of idaea who was so convinced that it was a bad idea and who she was probably desperate to prove wrong#in front of the entire crew of people who had spent probably months in miserable working conditions#after she had been so confident that it would work and so insistent that this was the only way#and she had to admit not only that it failed but that it couldn't possibly work. that deep down she knew and had probably known for a while#- that it would never work and had continued working on it anyway because she wanted it to work so bad#anyways. the fucking brainworms#tried out a new style for this and i really like how it turned out#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#outer wilds nomai#frostgnaw draws
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
The finale must have seemed like absolute horseshit to the Jinxers. They spent what seemed like several months resisting Piltover's violent occupation of Zaun where they are regularly harassed,

assaulted,


imprisoned,

shot at, and plainly intimidated in their own homes.
All for it to mean nothing, because everything they did had no bearing on Piltover's decision to pull back the occupation. And after what seemed like months of being terrorized they're asked to join a fight of which it's catalyst and driving force is hextech and it's creators. A technology and group of people that have never directly or indirectly benefitted them in any tangible way, and didn't one of those guys kill a kid in Zaun a couple months back!?!?!???

But it's the end of the world so of course they're going to fight, and of course many of them died. Some worse than others, in the uniforms of the forces that beat and imprisoned them.
On the battlefield all the double standards are laid bare for them to see because Piltover has fully weaponized hextech to defend themselves from an aggressor. Meanwhile one of the core reasons their home was gassed and occupied was to rid the place of shimmer. Without it Zaun was easily occupied by Piltover and they died in droves on the battlefield from wounds that it would have easily healed by it.
And after everything that's happened, from the invasion of their home, the violent repression, the deaths of their leaders and their symbol, they gained practically nothing in return. Even the power Sevika gained as a councilmember is completely dependent on when a Piltovan deigns to side with her. What's worse, there's literally nothing stopping from Piltover from doing it all over again. Piltover didn't need hextech to occupy Zaun, without shimmer, all they needed was their guns.
So what happens next?
Obviously, this isn't over. None of what's happened will be forgotten, especially by the faction that appeared to spend the most time fighting the occupation. Even though they've gained nothing of material value from Piltover, the connections and skills they've forged in the conflict are decent substitutes.

Some of these new skills include gunsmithing! An incredible development in Zaun as only Jinx and Piltover had a monopoly on the technology. Add to that the fact that the Jinxers don't just admire Jinx, but likely Silco as well and are even depicted fighting the enforcers alongside Silco's former underlings, there's clearly a new wave of militancy brewing.
This leads me to wonder if over time the Jinxers would morph into something like the Inx. The Inx are of course a noncanon Jinx-aligned faction, but their creation was heavily inspired by Arcane and even included Silco's iconography in their aesthetic.

Now first off, the Inx are dangerous. They're violent, obnoxious in a hooligan kind of way, and they operate kind of like a cult (real estate fraud and all), but they're also the kind of dangerous Silco enabled in Jinx. Leading members like Chadd above are artistically creative, inventive, charismatic, and genuinely well-organized.
The Inx are incredibly capable of amazing feats (and great music), they're just sort of directionless, and the Jinxers have an ideology that's likely to only get more extreme and a real enemy, but little in terms of power. With a foundation like the Jinxers, something like the Inx could form in Zaun, but far more dangerous. Post-finale the Jinxers will likely be the ones to invest their time in making Zaun's next generation both as innovative and dangerous as possible to make Zaun's streets as uncontrollable and terrifying for enforcers as when shimmer was around.
#arcane#silco#jinx arcane#gert arcane#the jinxers#the inx#convergence game#conv/rgence#chadd convergence#arcane ramble#both the game and the show suffer from the same biases of their creators#but the inx were at least given more scale and grandeur that it's fun to think of them as the next stage of the jinxers#jinxers#the jinxers are the ones who got beaten down by the enforcers the most so i can't not think they would be the most discontent#with the “peace”#especially since it's one where everything about it has Piltover in control#anyone with sense can tell you that “compromise” is doomed to fail pnz are almost completely back at square 1 except it's all#dependent on like 2 more piltovans having a conscience but it's still up to them cuz there's nothing holding them accountable#Sevika's coalition is going to fracture in six months... tops#league of legends#lol
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been working on some first run Chou sprites for funsies, here’s a handful of the ones I’ve done so far
#keese draws#isat#new game+#comic siffrin#comicfrin#isat siffrin#I mainly just wanted to figure out how chou may express differently than normal siffrin#they are alas far less kitty cat </3#but yeah even in their first run they were generally much lower energy than siffrin mostly due to stress#they are less used to traveling for long periods of time along with the whole savior thing going on#and while they start off generally handling their timeloop situation well enough even by the time they get the second orb they’re Tired man#and after the incident where they lost their eye they’re So ready for this to be over#and they haven’t even hit the wall of their final boss fight yet it took them a long while to get through that for the first time#the main thing is that their party spended most of their journey far more underleveled#for most of the main fights they were able to scrape through since the crew did have some disproportionally powerful abilities earlier than#the isat party would have similar skills (like their first recruit is a full blown shield specialist)#but as they got further and further and the boss gimmicks got more specific and punishing it would get Much harder#in the fight where chou lost their eye they were stuck for Months the first run trying to find a way to squeak through the fight#in game terms basically trying to abuse the consistent rng seed to find a chain of actions that would let them win#long story short the boss basically acts as a harsh punish for their lack of a proper healer#it also for realsies kills people like. during the battle. so the margin for error is slim to none.#basically once it takes out someone it’ll continue to target them and it can’t have its intent redirected#and it’s resistant to all craft types until it’s about to and failed to perform the final blow attack#without going too much into the party comp and how they generally fight just know that even if they weren’t underleveled this would low key#hard counter them since their whole game plan is about redirecting damage and simply killing the enemy before it kills them#so during this first run this fight was actual hell for chou to figure out and poor bastard hadn’t even hit their worst wall yet 😔#anyways that was a whole ramble that had nothing to do with the actual post I’m making. whoops.#point is they’ve earned the right to be low energy and stressed as hell they were Not built to carry a rpg party
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Echo 1x05 / Daredevil: Born Again 1x01]
#Marvel#Daredevil#DaredevilEdit#Born Again#Echo#EchoEdit#Wilson Fisk#Maya Lopez#My GIFs#I hate that Fisk's character has had a major life event and most people don't even know#Maya took away all the negative emotions associated with his past#thus affecting his current self and outlook#So many of his previous on-screen appearances were driven by the killing of his father and everything which followed#“When I was a boy” is a meme for a reason#He still has the memories but the pain and anger are gone#Which took away a lot of his identity and left him disoriented#He spent months trying to make sense of himself (would love to see a flashback of these travels-- Japan yes?)#and he's not lying when he says he's a different man than he was in Daredevil‚ Hawkeye‚ or Echo#Will he engage in criminality again? Yeah no doubt#But it's not because he was lying the whole time#It's because this new man will fail in the same way#I wish I could broadcast this to the fandom because Marvel did a crappy job explaining it#and it hinges on the idea that everyone watched Echo#Everybody dismisses him because “Fisk is bad man”#And he is. But he's also the most interesting‚ well-written bad man Marvel has (one of its most interesting characters period)#AND NO ONE SEES IT#Sometimes I think this fandom doesn't deserve my guy
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been rewatching some of the phase 1 MCU films and almost the entirety of Steve’s Captain America trilogy and its made me realise that the partial reason why the new MCU films are complete ass now is that the studio tries to cut most the political ties the characters have, as well as their lack of want to actually have a serious tone; which is strangely most exemplified in Sam’s film (unfortunately)
Brave New World presents you with the idea that it’s a political thriller — even from the name, which is a reference to Aldous Huxley’s novel Brave New World, which is mostly unrelated to the film besides it’s themes of eugenics and exploitation of the ‘genetically inferior’, which was biologically constructed by the upper class to justify that exploitation. The implication is then that the film could potentially explore themes similar to this, specifically with Isaiah — a character’s whose labour exploitation/abuse was justified using his race, a construct made up by the upperclass to justify themselves. It’s a similar thing to Captain America: Civil War, where the evocation of the Civil War aided the themes of stripped rights for the enhanced and the struggle for extreme control or none at all. It’s a purposeful choice to invoke certain political themes.
And Brave New World just, doesnt? It does to a certain extent — it discusses the abuse that Isaiah experienced due to his race but it just doesnt go beyond that. It’s especially put in a bad light once put in juxtaposition with Sam Wilson — an inherently political character due to his past actions and as a black Captain America — who works with the man who tried literally fucking stripping the rights of enhanced individuals, Ross, who literally has very little difference to the people who exploited Isaiah because he commited the exact same actions that stripped Isiah of his rights back in the 50s. It’s actual insanity that the film tries justifing Sam working with the government when he had been considered a war criminal for eight god damn years (I dont think he was officially un-declared a war criminal until after End-Game) and he works with the man who literally forced him into becoming one. The surface level political commentary it offers around race is instantly destroyed once Sam works with the man who literally enacted those exact same systems of oppression against the enhanced, all because the man ‘felt bad’. I’m actually flabbergasted at the audacity.
The film axes whatever political ties Sam had in the past, in turn destroying all previous character work in order to present a Sam that works with the very same government that he went against because his political ideology was inherently against what they were doing. I’ve not seen much of his show with Bucky, but from what I’ve seen it holds similar ideals to his previous characterisation so this film just shat itself because it was too scared to say anything. I cannot understand why they did what they did with Sam. It boggles my mind.
Comparing to previous films like Iron-Man — a film that addresses the military industrial complex and denounces those who make a profit off war and says that you have a moral duty to do the least amount of harm. While it has its issues, it was a decent commentary — and Captain America; The Winter Soldier — a film addressing unstable governments and how the systems it sets up to protect the people becomes ineffective because of the fascistic ideals built into it, as well as government overreach and surveillance. Hell, even the first Avengers film addressed creating nuclear weapons ‘in case’ of invasion, which creates political tension rather than solves it; which the narrative actually addresses by explicitly giving away the tesseract so they don’t. Many of the other films dont have overtly political ideas, but still have politics affect the narrative in some way — the best one off the top of my head being Ant-Man; which is something that I haven’t seen pop up in the newer projects, though many dropped the ball on this as well back then.
Politics, and in turn the darker tones of the earlier MCU films, has been absent because the films are too scared to actually say anything and alienate the audience. It tries adressing identity politics without having a fucking clue what they’re saying so they backtrack and sprinkle it in between tonal whiplash and funny hijinks. It’s too scared to go for the systems so they move towards character driven stories that rarely address the world they exist in — it’s been two years in world after Endgame, three years maybe and yet its rarely adressed that the blipped happened, the accords are dissolved off screen, the political tension of the existence of enhanced individuals are dropped. They sever the political ties the characters have to the events/structures within their own world and when they try to address them they fundamentally misunderstand why the characters are political in the first place.
#ALSO MY OPINION ISNT THE END ALL BE ALL OF THIS DISCOURSE LMAO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN#THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL ISSUE I HAVE WITH THESE FILMS#some footnotes for extra context to this rant#I watched Brave New World about two months ago so its not fresh in my mind but this is what I remember#I’ve seen most of the Post Endgame media excluding the ones released in the last year-ish#There’s a bunch of reasons why the MCU is failing right now but this is one of the reasons ive noticed why lol#this isnt to say that the pre Endgame films were perfect lol#a lot of them dropped the ball but its a glaring thing to see the difference between amount of political films#then vs now#goes the other way around as well many of the post Endgame stuff is amazing!#some of the films just have the issue of being disconnected from their world/politics in their world that it creates issues for#the characters themselves#cains rambles#marvel#marvel meta#mcu#sam Wilson#captain america#captain america brave new world#analysis#iron man#steve rogers#black widow#phase 5#endgame#avengers#ant man#essay
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
as a joker out fan watching the slow descent of joker out into obscurity in addition to the alienation of the fandom is my favourite thing to do at the moment
I love these guys. what the fresh f#ck are they doing.
#it's so interesting how since about the start of 2024 these guys have been inching more and more away from what everyone expected of them/#what they said they were gonna do or seemed like they were gonna do#and then it just nosedived after ruisrock#they are slowly; mitosis style; creating a rift in the jooskerijä (and extended) fandom#they are slowly being replaced by everyone else around them#retreated more into the balkan/specifically slovenian music scene; yet still overshadowed in part by other bands#(surprisingly the only ones they have collabed with in the past few months)#anyway I really hope they crash and burn; or better yet; fail that#because guys what the HELL#☹️☹️☹️#why are they doing this to themselves???#is it the fame being too overwhelming or what#the way they're going they're not gonna have a fandom anymore#and yes I basically blame bojan for most of this#anyway I hope they're doing okay but jesus.#joker out#jooskerijä#bojan cvjetićanin#bojan cvjeticanin#joker out fandom
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m so flattered that even a single soul is interested in my WIPs 😳. I happen to love seeing the unique creative process of each artist.
Also it makes me feel less self-pressured to only post the clean pieces I’m more confident about. Also I’m mending the hole left behind from high school, when my friends watched my sketchbook fill up in real time during the classes I didn’t care to participate in (every single one).
One project I started recently is making ref sheets for each of the trc kids. Been meaning to do it for a while, to help with consistency when drawing them, but also because I love character design. Click for better quality!
Lineup sketch:
Also been doodling basic headshots to get their features down. Here are a few + some notes on personal design choices. Ideally, my ref sheets will list these and more:

(they make me laugh when I open up my sketchbook cuz they’re just there like 🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️)
Other WIPs: Going through old sketches to see if any more are fit for posting. A handful of Pynch stuff. Some rendered pieces I will probably never finish but maybe will post anyway, if I’m feeling bold. Layout of the Barns, Monmouth, 300 Fox Way, St. Agnes, blah blah. And arguably my biggest one, a detailed interpretation of Ronan’s tattoo. Its tracked time on procreate is over 50 hrs… but what’s one more questionable life decision amirite… I have crazy respect and admiration for tattoo artists now.
It’s been a fun challenge, albeit a tedious one. A sneak peak:
That’s all for now!! I think I need a couple days off tumblr. I like yapping though. Thank you for having me
#WIPs#when it comes to art i’m an overachiever but with zero work ethic#being into character design and semi-realism at the same time is so weird#could would should and have written essays about trc#i usually have many a thought#and have to exhibit self-restraint so i don’t bombard the unassuming fanart consumers#i’ll probably give in at some point#what’s that they say about bottled up emotions#cuz trc has given me PLENTY#anyway don’t talk to me abt the amount of photos i saved for tattoo ref…#a few months ago my pinterest got suspended for no discernible reason#and i’ve pretty much had to reassemble YEARS of references and inspiration#to say this has been a painful situation is to put it lightly#the anxiety depression ocd and probably adhd too all butt heads#fuck everything -depression#wdym bro everything matters too much -anxiety#hey u know what will help u manage? creating Rules. btw if these rules don't hold up ur ffucked. like so fucked. depression whats good -ocd#haha what. u guys r so dramatic. have u ever considered [failed to load] -adhd#why is this the most honest thing i’ve ever written. and it came to me in a sleep deprived fever in the tumblr tags#ok i’ll see myself out
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
a main rider's final form debuting in episode 33 like the days of old (the early 2010s)........ i almost can't believe it
shout out to revice's production and toyline being such a trainwreck it miraculously convinced bandai to return to somewhat manageable toy schedules again
#honestly revice was probably the catalyst for production moving up three months too...#beefing the 50th anniversary so badly you end up fixing the franchise's most persistent failings. all while yuri is happenign as well.#i miss ikki. what was i saying again#kendrix morgan died for our sins#kamen rider for ts#gavv posting#gavv spoilers//
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
draw your cohost in its favorite dress and a made up sunhat for fun it's fun and good for it and enriching
(it/its today 🏳️⚧️)
#sterling.zip#ns.tiff#sil started this but i switched in so i did most of it#so it goes on my blog first as op!#we accidentally balded it (no beard/sideburns) earlier lol.#we also colored this in specifically to put on artfight lol.#our wrists and arms in general have been in pain so most of what we're drawing now is self indulgent. curse of too much happening this month#artfight failed we'll get 'em next year. </2
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have no mouth and i must scream speech but for about insomnia hate hate hate let me tell you how much i have come to hate being awake
#took half an expired tops brand unisom . wheeeee medicine that does nothing and then the next day you're groggy for twelve hours#but i have to do SOMEthing if i don't Try to make myself sleep that's Giving Up and if you Give Up . well#this is the second week in a row that ive failed to sleep on a night leading into the work week and i know most of the external reasons why#like. busy day tomorrow so anxious. haven't given myself a full weekend in a really long time so strung out.#had important stuff to do earlier that didn't happen so dwelling on that. woke up at 9am and wasn't out of bed until ten thirty so like#i got more than adequate sleep last night but this does not make me feel less worried about NOT sleeping TONIGHT#because again. every time i have a night of big insomnia im convinced that it's the beginning of an unending trend#that will make me wind up like my mother who is lucky she gets more than three hours of sleep every couple of weeks#and while she's done this her whole life qnd has adjusted to it (as much as a body can) i just know. based on how insomnia is for me#that i never could. it would be exactly as terrible every time i would never be able to be calm while it was happening#anyway everybody send me your best knockout gas#AND. it's SNOWING. fuck everything i hate it all#tomorrow im gonna be groggy as hell and have to drive to work and back and have to be With It bc we're doing activities and shit#and have to be like the model of library enthusiasm when i barely have that on a good day. and not actually physically groan#every time someone new wants a card because it means i have to interrupt what im doing dor the next fifteen minutes to say a spiel#i know i shouldn't hate that i should be glad we're getting engagement. and i am. i just wish i wasn't the one at the desk#and im not good at keeping that off of my face or being welcoming when i dont feel welcoming#i haven't gotten to do processing at my actual office desk in months. haven't gotten to be Off The Floor#which certainly hasn't helped my overall stress levels. i need to not be socially on so much it's slowly pulling me apart#and then i get home wnd im too tired to do anything and my house also falls apart around me#but if i DON'T have outings i also rot . there's no solution to this problem. not without quitting my job which ill never do#bc in today's market id never get anything half as good as this ever again. and as has been established. this relatively good job#is still not good enough for me not to be emotionally and mentally falling apart
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys i really hate to break it to you, but elves would not consider the moon landing to be a particularly outstanding achievement
#fandom is a cycle and every month or so i see someone say without fail something like#“why do elves think humans are so STUPID like we've literally landed on THE MOON???? do normal elves know about that?”#there was even a very. ahem. certain. keepblr . . . event . . . that had to do with this. we're not going back there#anyway. first of all that's literally one of the main points of the series. that the elves see themselves as superior#second of all the elves have somewhat valid reasons to think they're superior. that's what makes the whole thing so nuanced#third of all no i seriously doubt normal elves know about the moon landing#and fourth of all and most importantly if they did i don't think they would see that as particularly astonishing or great#the elves aren't obsessed with science and scientific discoveries the way humans are#they'd probably see it as a waste of resources and a waste of effort. “clean up your fucking pollution” they'd probably say#kotlc#kotlc worldbuilding#<- idk man
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apparently in my absence this post had its 1000-notes-iversary.
This time we get to see the culprit responsible for ruining our heroes' lives as well.
I've really missed you guys, by the way. I know I've said that already, but I'm serious. Once or twice this year I've been right on the brink of coming back but schedule stuff always keeps me from letting myself commit to that again, and that in turn has kept me from posting anything at all. But I've been in an unexpected drawing mood lately and so if I can get enough stuff to set up a queue we might pretend I'm back for a month or so sometime this year. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see. No promises though. That's why I'm hiding this paragraph under the cut.
Transcription:
[Beren:] "Uhhh...barkeep...I think he's had enough now..." [Tolkien:] "No, I don't think he has...!"
#beren#bilbo#frodo#tolkien#túrin#the man the myth the legends#beowulf except everybody is short#one shiny#three shinies#everyone deserved better except mîm#what's this a happy ending#my trash#is this actually funny or am i just tired#i'm sorry professor tolkien#/end classification tags#túrin keeps becoming a bigger and bigger guy in my drawings and at this rate he's going to be way taller and broader than he should be#canonically he was really tall and broad but i don't think the professor meant like THIS#at least it makes him really distinct i guess#gonna be sufficiently intimidating for the dagor dagorath#but in the meantime he's just making beren look like a schoolkid in this doodle#(and as i'm sitting here writing these tags i suddenly realize i forgot túrin's white hair streaks again)#(tsk tsk shame on me)#(and didn't it say somewhere that beren's hair also turned grey...? i can't remember where it said that though)#(0 for 2 i have failed all of us)#ANYWAY in my absence tumblr apparently changed formatting again which is not cool but whatever#it's nice to draw again#i've had art block for like 9 months straight#and suddenly this month i suddenly was able to write AND draw again as if i never stopped#i've had writer's block since maybe 2021 so that was the most surprising part#weirdest thing ever but i'm not mad about it
95 notes
·
View notes
Note
absolutely obsessed with pez dispenser debris i feel like a little baby holding ur characterization of izuku in my chubby gross hands and chewing on him chewing on him chewing on him. (also your characterization of everyone else????? absolutely delicious get in my mouth) i feel like there are three people in this world that understand the story i *wanted* my hero academia to be and you are one of them. UGH!
i’m vibrating at frequencies that could shatter glass just absolutely obsessed w/ everythinf about the way you write. ik you said this is your “bad writing” fic but like. your ability to just Tell an insanely poignant story in a way that is so endearing and engaging and genuinely FUN is something that i aspire to so much. ok that’s all goodnight
I’m unbelievably thrilled that so many people ended up liking the fic I started in a fugue state while Not Studying For The Bar Exam thank you for your kind words
#pez dispenser debris#shoutout to the fic that almost fucking killed me#definitely almost made me fail the bar#I’ve mentioned this before I think#I was taking the bar and when you’re taking the bar people insist you’re meant to study for like. several months minimum#and there I was fucking spiralling harder than I ever had in my entire fucking life. I was completely out of control.#I couldn’t focus for love or money. adhd as like. a real thing I have to accept I have has sort of been a journey. I have never gone into#such a horrific spiral in my entire life. I could not get myself to study. instead I was possessed by the most magical burst of creativity#I have ever had in my entire life. and that was pez dispenser debris.#it was electric. I’d never written so much so easily before. I was also sweating fucking bullets and chewing glass over how unbelievably#fucked I was. like the day of the test kept getting closer and I could not stop getting sucked into this fucking fic. I was acting like an#actual crazy person. someone messaged me thanking me for the fic because they were in the last leg of bar studying and needed the break and#I was like ‘hahahahah that’s so great I’m Utterly Fucked’#anyway I only dragged myself out of it ✨three days✨ before the bar exam#so I stayed up for ✨three days straight✨ and then ✨took the bar exam✨#the fact that I still passed is just proof that that test is fucking fake#so cheers to fucking pez dispenser debris the fic that almost made me fail the bar
26 notes
·
View notes
Text

banished to the forever wip chamber
#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#shigeo kageyama#fanart#art#treeart#this is technically a wip but i’ve been gone forever and don’t have thing to show for it lol#forever being a month which is basically forever on the internet#i was hoping to be active again but my mental health has been taking a dip so it’ll be a while longer till i’m back again#not that long probs another month at most i’ve j been trying to manage my adhd in college and failing miserably#also seasonal affective disorder yay
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'all stop saying fyodor has never looked so sincerely angry before. he has.
I know this because, and this is not an exaggeration, the vast majority of my manga revisits are to enjoy his expressions of anger, disdain, and malcontent. i shit you not, several of my bsd meta posts wholly unrelated to fyodor were written because I happened to notice something else while flipping through to imbibe fedya's hissy fits. I don't reread the manga when I do this, just those scenes, unless something else catches my attention.
anyway, stop disrespecting my beloved pastime.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fyodor#most people are remarkably bad at reading expressions#not me though#this isnt a bit i fixated on how emotions are nonverbally communicated so that i could lie better and to develop a pleading face#for most of elementary school i studied people's faces and workshopped my own by getting feedback from others and testing them in the field#then in 8th grade my gifted program teacher made us take an assessment on how well we could read faces#to debunk body language expertise#and demonstrate the fact that most people think they can read faces but most of us cant#emphasizing why trials and presumptions based on assumptions that we can are harmful#everyone predictably failed real hard#except for me. i made an 80%#my teacher made me take it again and explain to her my process.#then she asked where i learned it and i explained to her that i never got stickers at naptime in kindergarten because i never slept#so i began obsessively refining my fake sleep#it took months but i figured out how to coordinate all of the tells and it worked i started getting stickers#so then i started to practice other states of mind#and she marked me an outlier and removed me from the data 😭#anyway. all im saying is. i love fedya's face.
36 notes
·
View notes