#(ill get to my inbox soon i promise)
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I WANNA DRAAWW!! RAHHHGG!! Absolutely swamped with college work, im so tired TT (hence whatever tf this is lmao)
#posted this doodle on twitter yesterday but it's still very relevant today#fr cant do anything until I get 12 posters drawn make my homemade paper and finish/publish my 200 page book I'm gonna-#Send help#i miss being active sm :'((#SORRY TO THE 60+ ASKS IN MY INBOX I PROMISE ILL GET TO YOU SOON <333#anyway I hope everyone else is doing ok#sending love#(also husk please- stay off the internet lmao)#angel dust#angel dust fanart#husk#husk fanart#huskerdust#huskerdust fanart#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#tribbleart#<3
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batesian mimic(ry)
— a flag for those who identify with batesian mimicry (or with/as an imitating species/mimic) , where a harmless species has evolved to imitate the warning signals of a harmful species directed at a predator of them both.
extremely self-indulgent, just to show m alive... hi guysss (*´▽`)ゞ ... nd then i go back to hibernation zzzzzz
#✰ ◞◟ flags i've made#ill get 2 the stuff in my inbox soon PROMISE this was just easy cause the inspo was there#//#uuhhhhh#transid#transid coining#transspecies#??#but i think also#mogai#mogai coining#mogai term#..yaaa#radqueer safe#radqueer#rq 🌈🍓#rq 🍓🌈#rqc 🍓🌈#rqc🌈🍓#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq safe#radqueer coining#radq coining#pro radq#rq coining#transx#transid community#the graphic will probly only b there when i tag outside of the rqc...
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ive not been feeling so hot so i did myself a small self indulgent doodle while sick
#h/azbin#haz/bin#ha/zb/in#an/gel du/st#a/ngel d/ust#a/lastor#al/astor#r/adiodust#sneezeblr#sneeze#sneezing#snezblr#sneeze scenario#snzblr#snz#snz things#male snz#sneeze kink#snz kink#snz blog#snzfucker#snz fet#sneeze art#my art#(also ill write/draw any prompt guaranteed if its them btw)#(ill get to my inbox soon i promise)
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Hi Spooky! I've seen you're last few posts and I just want to tell you that you are one of the most AWESOME people I know! Your art is SO SICK and I've looked up to you for the longest time!
You are doing AMAZING! You're an awesome person and I am glad to be mutuals with you! You're not cringe for venting your feelings online! It is completely fine! I can understand that life can be really frustrating most of the time, but please hang in there!
You'll get through it!
You don't have to reply to this btw :]
-Demi
thank you . demi <33
im sorry for getting late to thiz ask [and for not answering your second up to thiz point] . im weirdly burnt out and tired – more than uzual . that iz to say
but thankz for saying such nice thingz about my art – my art iz probably the last . the only thing i still have going for me at thiz point ; if i wazn't decent at it . i probably would've just deleted my tumblr . since therez nothing else about me for people to like [not trying to put myself down . just stating a fact y'know ?]
ive loved your art for a long time too !! so im very glad you feel the same !! you're an incredibly sweet person and you sending thiz ask really just helped me out a lot
thank you . so much

#sorry but i cant function properly at the moment#i promise ill get to the other ask soon – i waz really planning on making a tiny doodle based on it and i just ..#have not been able to even attempt to start it#itz very stupid . to say the least#asks#answered asks#my ask box#my inbox#spooky's postbox#thankz again for the ask – it meanz a lot . even if i can never express my gratitude aptly#i feel bittersweet at the moment#and i . personally . see that az a win and something you should be proud of#you brought the most cynical manz spiritz up !!! whopee for you !!!#:3
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working on a drabble rn to not kms bc of the elections 😛😛
#also ill get to the reqs in my inbox soon nonies promise im not ignoring you on purpose!!!!#☆ ; dear diary ?#no but i need to get my mind off these results bc wtaf#might just book a random flight and never return
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holidate bonus chapter will be published today? 👀
nooooo im sorry, im still working on it 😔
#was busy w my dad friday and saturday then had an all day crying fit on sunday and a little one yesterday and uhhhh#but im all better now aha dont even worry <3#i wrote some more yesterday and ill definitely write some today as well but i still cant give a certain day for an upload 🥲#the promise still stands tho as soon as i finish it and get v to read it over its getting posted#i wont wait for a sunday ill just post whenever its ready#inbox#anon
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Do you have any fics in progress by chance? You’re such an amazing writer :)
Hiya!~ Thank you for the ask dear~
Honestly, despite how much I love getting asks like this, they always surprise me! It's still such a foreign concept that people not only enjoy my work, but are actively curious about it!
Aghagh and to answer the actual question, yes I do! I usually have at least 10 different prompts sitting in my google docs, but I find I have less WIPS since I'm a fairly 'get going on it and finish it in one - three goes' type of writer. Recently been a bit burned out of my hyperfixations, and finding it a bit hard to just write things (perfectionism kicking in).
That said, I actually have two started! One that's almost finished part one of two (A m/agnus a/rchives fic, two different focuses for the different chapters of snzdom~) and one that's been started, and is abouuuttt halfway done I think~ (A c/huuya centric fic as a so... sooooo late birthday gift for the amazing Hachii, which is turning into a new years/christmas thing too agghh ;-;)
Thank you for the ask!~ I always love getting uh... basically any asks haha~
#waterfallasks#thank you so much non!~#genuinely i love things like this- im always so excited to see ANY ask in my inbox~#whether its a question- a comment- a request- or just a 'hi' <3#i hope this is a good answer!! god i have SO many prompts and requests aghaughu#im so sorry to anyone whos requested things i promise i WILL be working on them again soon#that christmas craze is starting to end- a lot of irl things been happening too but#its starting to slow down so i think ill be able to get back into the mood soon!!!#that t/ma fic is eating my soul i am so hyperfixated on the show rn i might end up finishing it and pumping out like 4 more haha~
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thinking ab tnt duo
#as soon as i get some food in me ill start working on fic reqs in my inbox#i promise#jay word vomits#tnt duo
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If ur waiting on a reply from me (and i know a couple of folks are rn) thank u for ur patience in waiting. I'm working on typing things up but today is just. idk how to put it but i keep winding up grumpy and my replies i feel are suffering for it. Pls know i do wanna chat and exchange ideas, I'm just trying to make sure the Grumpasaurus Rex side of my brain that's v loud today isn't mucking them up before i send them 🫂🫂❤️❤️
#text post#like it's genuinely nothing just bad takes online some shitty messages in my inbox on here and reddit and not sleeping well at all#attempted a nap i woke up from like tenish minutes ago and it was all a realistic nightmare#in which ct house was somehow connected to nd condo & i kept getting caught on one side or the other at a time#unable to touch or talk to anyone until i was fully on either 'side' for a good while#made the flow of time feel fucked up and i fully expected this to have been a longer nap considering how time felt in there lol#but yeah. I'm trying and im v grateful to y'all waiting for being patient with me. thank u & i promise ill have my shit together soon#(aka might take an edible and just. idek. bake maybe? my brain isn't happy doing anything rn but cookies are always good)#have a potential call with mum later i need to prep for#...worst case scenario i try to nap a bit more and hope i don't wind up stuck in that weird hallway from my dream again#worst bit was the nd cats and my mum and ct cats and Housemate on each side both trying to get me out but couldn't#really don't wanna feel as stuck as i did in this dream but hey!! maybe it's trying to tell me something lmao#not entirely sure what but that's nothing new for me lmao#normally wouldn't post like this for replies but everyone waiting follows me so i figure this reaches everyone easily enough#& hopefully is better/more useful than me going radio silent bc my brain is being a baby abt shit that means nothing lmao
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Honestly watched Geno put that puck in last night and my second thought (after “woooooo yeaaaaaaaah!”) was “freebooter4ever is gonna be so happy”
Please, call me Boots :P
#Ngl questions like this make me nervous#Because in the back of my mind#I know that a subsection much larger portion of the pens fandom#Could potentially see it#And associating me with geno makes it sound like im trying to make myself out to be his number one fan or something#Which makes certain other fans REALLY mad because they want to be the number one geno everything i dunno i dont get it#Which means more hate i have to delete out of my inbox#I already quit tagging him in anything i post i dont know what more i can do to distance myself from the fandom other than stop posting#Which is actually probably what they want lol#But my art is MY art its not the fandoms its not genos its mine and i like having a record of my attempts to draw daily on my blog#I could invent another name and pretend its just a character instead of geno that im drawing so much#would that make people happier?#I fully intend to get back into daily drawings again as soon as my illness lets me#I wont tag anything again tho i promise#The fandom doesnt want my drawings and geno has better artists doing better portraits of him anyway#sooooo my art is just mine and yall can leave me alone#if i quit posting all drawings of geno that kind of feels like giving in to peer pressure anyway. if im still drawing him why cant i post?#im not bothering anyone except those still following my blog (hi guys!)(sorry!)(<3)#And the haters still following my every movement really should consider finding something to follow they actually enjoy
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I have followed you because we share many mutuals, but I must say... your portrayal of Kaeya is simply divine. I don't know what else to say others than I am at awe at the love and care that has clearly been put into this muse and their relationships. Its an absolute treat to read your stuff on the dash. You write an excellent Kaeya and I hope you know that. :)
DEFLATING PNEUMATIC NOISES ;-; --@basbousah
#basbousah#THANK U SO MUCH...... i love all of our muses too and your lisa is SO. makes me want to gently hold her and make kaeya help her........#I PROMISE ILL GET TO MY INBOX SOON WHERE UR ASKS ARE LAYING-
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tumblrrrr stop being stubborn with the colors on my description
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The sisters say hi! I mean.. Lana does, LaLa just wants to eat you guys-


"Hm ? Did you say something ?"
"Huh !? Oh ... Nah ...."
"Oh . it must've been my imagination there . haha !! ........ Are you okay . though ? You look like you're sweating bullets ...."
"YEAH !! Yeah .... Of course I am ..... haahh ...."
#im sooo deeply sorry for answering thiz late ......#ive finally gotten more free time and thiz go around i PROMISE ill finish up the requestz / askz#soon ....#yeah .....#anyway . after getting a long scolding from tony . the two are back on their grind !!!!#my beautifulz !!!! ¥_^#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#god itz so late nd im so tired n AAAHHHHHHSHDHDHDHEHDBDHDJKSJSHDHDBDBDBDBD#DEAR GOD . STRIKE ME DOWNNN#END MEE !!!!!!!#DO IT PLEAAAAAZEEEE#RAGSGSHDHDHDBBDRBDBDB#asks#answered asks#my ask box#my inbox#spooky's postbox#sorry for rhe not good art ......#i prommy ill get better again ......#lowkey cred că nu mai rezist mult#oh whatever#dhmis sketchbook#sketch the sketchpad#dhmis hv sketchbook#dhmis electracey#electracey the meter#dhmis hv electracey
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hi omg love unspoken claim <3 bsf!rafe is my fav trope!! i was wondering if you could do something like casual dominance with rafe and reader, like hcs?? <3



rafe x childhood friend!reader
headcannons 6
masterlist
⋆。𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°
★ He drives. Always. You’re not touching that steering wheel if he’s around. “Nah, kid, scoot. Not lettin’ you drive my truck lookin’ that cute.”
★ Hand on the back. Every time you walk through a doorway, into a party, or cross a street—his hand is low on your back. It’s protective, subtle… but also possessive as hell. No one misses it.
★ He opens doors for you—but not because he’s a gentleman. It’s more like, “What are you doing? Wait—stop. I said I got it.” And then he holds the door with a little side-eye like you’re testing him.
★ When he walks behind you, his hand is on your hip. Doesn’t matter if you’re in line at the gas station or browsing aisles at the grocery store. You belong to his orbit.
★ “Gimme that.” You struggle with anything—a jar, a case, your phone cord—and he’s snatching it from you instantly. “Jesus, you’re helpless sometimes. What would you do without me, huh?”
★ He speaks for you when you’re shy. Especially when someone makes you uncomfortable. “She said she doesn’t want that. You deaf or just stupid?”
★ He texts you “get in” when he’s outside. No explanation. You just know to grab your bag and go. And if you don’t come down fast enough? He’s calling, “Kid. I know you saw the text. Move your ass.”
★ Staring contests when you act out. You try to push his buttons? He just leans back, arms crossed, staring with that little smirk like, “You done yet?” You either fold or get pinned.
★ Always sits closest to you. Doesn’t matter the setting—couch, firepit, truck bench—he’s right next to you. Not touching, necessarily, but just there in your space. You go to scoot away, and he tugs you right back. “Where you think you’re goin’, baby?”
★ Grabs your jaw gently when you won’t look at him. Not rough—just two fingers and a soft but firm, “Eyes on me.”
★ That fake nonchalant jealousy. He doesn’t say he’s jealous, but the moment a guy talks to you? “You friends with him now?” and suddenly he’s dragging you to sit by him instead. Arm around your shoulder. Tight grip. Glaring.
★ Loves when you act bratty. You roll your eyes? “Watch it.” You sass him? “That mouth’s gonna get you in trouble.” But he’s grinning while saying it. Thriving off the push and pull.
★ He doesn’t ask. He tells. “We’re leaving.” “You’re staying here.” “Wear a jacket.” Like… there’s no debate unless you really want to challenge him (and even then… good luck).
a/n: ughhh i live for casually dominant rafe. also im just now getting into my inbox so sorry to some of you who sent a req a while ago i promise ill post it soon!!
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#obx#outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x childhood friend!reader#obx kooks#obx pogues#casual dominance#rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe fanfiction#rafe fic#rafe x you
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LOOK AFTER YOU - LN
based on this request! ✧ my inbox is open! ✧
warnings - mentions of sick, poorly reader, mostly fluff <3 not proof read
masterlist the playlist
y/n hadn’t been sure why her body had woken her abruptly, until she felt a familiar dull ache in her stomach, panicking slightly at the thought of being or even feeling sick. she hadn’t felt well the night before, but she tried pushing the thought aside as she shifted out of lando’s tight embrace to lay on her back, hoping to manifest her inevitable illness away. but her blood soon ran cold, a sweat forming on her skin, and the need to run to the bathroom became unavoidable.
the first wave of nausea came early, some hitting the floor before she held the rest down and fell to crouch over the toilet. tears came streaming down her face as her sickness paused momentarily - she hated being sick, she hated that she’d made a mess, and she hated that she could hear the faint sounds of lando stirring, and the bed creaking as he made his way to her.
“y/n? bab-?” he began to call out, but found himself interrupted.
“the floor!” she shouted back, half stuttering through her panic, “watch the floor.”
lando had thought he’d heard retching, her tearful tone confirmed that for him as his gaze tried to avoid the sick and step around it. he stood in the bathroom door, assessing the situation momentarily before meeting her at her side, crouching down as his hand rubbed her back as his hand reached for a discarded hair tie to pull her hair out of her face as the second wave of sickness came over her.
“you’re ok, just breathe. just breathe,” he told her, his voice still gruff from his sleepiness. he reached out for some toilet paper, pulling the girl back into him to clean up her face slightly. her body slumped back against the wall as lando rose to his feet, moving quickly to fill a glass with water.
“need to drink something, angel,” he told her, pressing the cup to her lips and tilting it slightly as they parted. finally, she assumed this wave of sickness was over, but her breathing still hastened and her hands shook in her lap, the tears still rolled down her face.
“i-im sorry,” she uttered out, trying to avoid lando’s gaze despite him crouching directly in front of her.
“for what?” he asked her softly, moving to rest a hand on her jaw and stroke his thumb along the skin of her cheek, “being sick is normal, y/n - you don’t have to apologise for that.”
“for the mess. i didn’t mean to, ill clean it up i promise,” she told him, hands still shaking with the memory of her past boyfriend being so angry at her when the same thing had happened. y/n winced in anticipation of lando’s shouting to start as he remembered the floor, but it never came. instead, the glass of water was place to her side and his other hand settle on her other cheek.
“you will do no such thing,” he firmly told her, looking into her eyes. they were bloodshot, either from the strain of being sick or the crying - he didn’t know - but what he did know was that she was really unwell, potentially worse than he’d ever known her to be. he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, feeling the way she was burning up under his touch, and yet her whole body shivered as though it was cold.
“you hot or cold?” he asked her, trying to check his theory.
“freezing,” she replied, noticing the way his eyes widened at her response, “why? what’s wrong?”
“you’ve got a a bad fever baby, meaning this is probably not a one time thing,” he told her, warning her slightly before he stood, pulling her up with him and letting her topple into his embrace, “gonna get you in the bath quickly, yeah?”
lando’s brain recited everything he had learnt or done before when someone had been poorly, knowing that ringing his mum at 3am was not an option. he started running the bath, checking the water was cool enough before he lowered her body into it.
“ill be back in a second,” he told her, kissing her forehead. he watched as her eyes shut, and leaving the room to clean up the floor whilst she attempted to bring her fever down.
the next morning was no better, y/n had spent the rest of the night either crouched over the toilet or shivering beneath a thin sheet as a hot sweat covered her entire body. lando stayed awake with her, scared to close his eyes in case she needed him, knowing that she wouldn’t wake him.
he had resorted to texting his mum anyways, explaining the situation as he asked for guidance. lando had sighed in relief when she replied, knowing she’d know what to do.
mum → she probably just needs to sweat it out. keep her cool, hydrated and comfortable.
mum → try and get her to eat some plain toast, little and often till she can manage more
mum → keep me updated please, and send her my love x
he smiled at the message, replying with a quick thank you before he moved back to the bedroom holding a bottle of water and a slice of plain toast. his heart filled at the sight of his girlfriend, curled up on the bed, her eyes staring at the film playing quietly on the tv.
lando sat on the bed, pulling her body to rest between his legs, her back laying on his chest. he could feel the way her heat radiated onto him as he helped her eat the toast, one mouthful at a time.
but y/n still couldn’t keep anything down, and hours later she was still lying in bed, trying to nap away her sickness with little success. lando had been gone a while, so she stood slowly, shuffling her way around the flat until she found him in the kitchen, doing something on his phone.
“hey what’re you doing out of bed?” he asked her, head rising to look at her when he heard her walk in.
“too hot,” she replied, moving closer towards where he stood, “needed to get a drink.”
“you should’ve just shouted for me, i would’ve got it for you.”
“im perfectly capable of getting myself a drink,” she told him bluntly, though immediately she disproved her own statement, having to grip the counter as her vision blurred and her balance faltered. lando’s arms reached out quickly, hands gripping at her waist from behind to stabilise her.
“im sure you are baby, but right now id love it if you rested and let me take care of you,” he told her, careful not to patronise her. lando began to move the two of them back to the bedroom, holding her tightly as he did, and lowering her softly back onto the bed. he jogged out the room quickly, grabbing some water from the fridge before coming back to she her laying with the sheet covering only her legs.
“how are you feeling?” lando asked her softly, lying next to her and tucking fallen strands of hair behind her ear.
“shit,” she replied, trying to hold back tears but lando noticed immediately.
“what’s up? what are the tears for?” he asked her, pulling her in closer with his arms wrapping around her body.
“i jus- i hate being poorly. i feel so useless and im just a burden to you. you have your own life to live you shouldn’t have to spend your time looking after me,” she told him, her body shaking slightly as she cried.
“it’s my job to look after you angel, the same way you look after me. and im happy to do it because i love you,” he replied, his hand rubbing up and down her back supportively.
“thank you,” she replied.
“mum sent her love by the way,” he informed her, happy to hear her laugh lightly after a rough day.
“i wondered how you knew how to get a fever to break,” she told him, leaning her head back to smile up at him.
“hey!” he defended, “i know things! i just thought asking my mum would be safer.”
“tell her thank you, from me. and thank you, really.”
“no need to thank me, baby. ‘just doing my job - you wanna try eating again? im thinking plain pasta this time.”
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando smut#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula 1#mclaren f1#mclaren#lando norris fluff#propertyofwicked
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BOY NEXT DOOR 6 - ( c.s )



part five
summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.
warnings- cursing, angst (i think that’s it??)
a/n: sorry for the long wait you guys i truly hope you enjoy!! if you have recs or anything you want to see fulfilled my inbox is open, it usually takes me a second but i promise ill get to them!
@fawnchives @teapartyprincess4two @l9vesick @55sturn @mattinside @sturnioloco @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @breeloveschris @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @braindead4l @hearts4matty @orangeypepsi @angelworldspost @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @sturnlvrs @neatcarrot767 @stonermattsgf @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @neatcarrot767
you wake up to the sun shining in your eyes, the glare from the window hitting you dead on. you sigh and roll over to your other side to avoid the annoying light. the beginning of a headache is already creeping on even though you just woke up, which frustrates you even further.
you rub your face and blink a few times to clear your sleepy vision, and then it hits you; you’re still in chris’s bed.
the sinful events of the night come flashing back all at once, and you can feel the nausea settling down in your stomach. chris himself is nowhere to be found, and his side of the mattress is cold.
the sudden urge to throw up is overwhelming. you didn’t plan on spending the night, but you were both exhausted, and the rising and falling of his chest against your back had lulled you to sleep.
you’re still naked, covered only by his soft sheets, and a wave of embarrassment and guilt washes over your body. for a split second you had believed it was just a dream, but it’s all too real.
you throw the covers off carelessly, scrambling to grab your discarded clothes from the night before. you throw them on, not even worried about the fact that they’re all crumpled. you just need to get out.
the door to his room whines as you open it, which makes you cringe. so much for moving around undetected. to make matters even worse, the stairs creak as you descend them, which gives away your exact location.
“morning sleepyhead.”
you hear his voice before you see him, and the sound of it makes you freeze in the hallway. you turn from the front door to face him, forcing yourself to look up from your feet.
chris is standing only a few paces away near the entrance to the kitchen, dressed in dangerously low-hanging sweats, hair messy from sleep. he’s got two plates of breakfast balanced in either hand, like some sort of dreamy nightmare.
for once, you’re certain that he doesn’t know what else to say. he’s just looking at you like he’s waiting for you to speak, waiting for you to be the one to break the tension.
“i have to go home.” you respond meekly, unable to say it with any sort of conviction.
“why are you in such a rush?” he frowns.
“because i have class soon, not to mention i didn’t come back last night and i have nothing to say to my very worried roommates.” your voice is strained, mainly because you’re trying so hard not to scream.
chris raises an accusatory eyebrow. “i really don’t think they would mind if you stayed for breakfast.”
“i need to leave, chris.” you argue, though you don’t make any kind of movement for the door.
he stares back at you defiantly. god, he’s too fucking pretty. it always distracts you when he looks at you this way, with those steely eyes.
“you regret it.”
the sudden claim makes you lose your breath, and you have no idea what to say in return. do you regret it? you don’t even know, but he seems to take your silence as confirmation either way.
“go ahead and leave, then. see if i care.” chris replies sharply, shifting to toss one of the plates of food into the trash.
you hear it thunk against the bottom of the can, and even though you can’t see it happening around the corner, it still kind of breaks your heart. he looks back up at you, his face grim, and you know that any bond you had before has been broken.
“chris—”
“just get the fuck out.” he interrupts, and despite the harsh words, he sounds defeated in tone.
his expression is dark, but it’s not the same kind of darkness you had seen last night. that was lust. this is something entirely different.
you can’t stand to look at him any longer, so you don’t. you just shake your head slightly, turning on your heel and heading out the door. it slams closed behind you, and your vision blurs as you walk down his steps toward your own place.
the fact that tears are stinging your eyes is fucking pathetic, and you hate it. you did the one thing you swore you’d never do; sleep with the enemy.
and the sad part is that you really aren’t remorseful. chris made you feel things last night that you had never felt before, physically and emotionally, and you’ll never be able to look at him the same knowing that.
it worries you. before this you were friends, or maybe the right word would be rivals. either way, you enjoyed it.
but now you’ve entered the gray area; you already know he doesn’t want a relationship, and you’re scared of the possibility of catching real feelings if you keep sleeping together.
you don’t want to mess anything up, even though it feels like you already have.
you yank at a strand of your hair anxiously, and your head is in a million different places as you burst through your own front door. your legs don’t even feel as though they’re actually attached to your body. you’re like a ghost, floating up to your room in search of a safe space.
you close the door behind you gently, pressing your back and palms against the wood. your curtains are closed, which at first you’re very thankful for.
millions of times you’ve used these slips of fabric to hide from chris, and you’re doing it again now. it makes you feel like a coward, so you spring forward and rip them open.
to your surprise, his blinds are closed now. there’s a pang in your chest, because you know it means a lot more than the average person would think. he almost never closes them, ever. it makes you feel even worse. you want to scream, to truly cry, to do anything at all.
but nothing happens.
instead you fall back onto your bed, curling into yourself fetal style, arms wrapped around your knees. you close your eyes, willing yourself to fall asleep, and eventually you drift off into weightlessness.
your ill feeling doesn’t subside for days. you find it hard to eat, hard to do anything really besides sleep and go to class.
chris doesn’t send you his usual daily texts. you know he’s not going to, but every time your phone buzzes you still hope it’s him.
his blinds stay closed too, which is almost worse. you keep your window exposed though, on the off chance that he’ll open his again.
ramona and cassidy have been trying to help as much as they can, and you’re good at faking it. for the most part, at least. it’s been five days, but they’ve all been unusual. you didn’t even go out and drink during the weekend, though you heard the music blaring next door like usual.
it doesn’t help that it’s been a rather dreary sunday, and the last thing you want to do is get out of bed. the rain patters against your window, and you watch the drops roll down the glass.
it makes your own eyes water, which you suppose is overdue. your sour thoughts have been swirling around your head for far too long, and you haven’t had any kind of release.
no yelling, no crying. just dull lifeless eyes staring at the passing clouds. but you can feel it coming now, and as much as you want to stop it, you can’t.
at first the tears fall silently, that is until you start to sniffle. and then your nose won’t stop running, and your pillow is completely damp, and you feel like a total idiot.
it’s worse that the only person you can chastise is yourself. you’re the one who ran out on him, the one who said you regretted sleeping together.
but you know for sure now that you don’t. you like the way chris makes you feel, the chase. it’s irrational to get this close to him, to risk letting him use and dispose of you. you’re aware that it’s very likely.
chris has a reputation that he wears with pride, and it’s silly to think that you’re going to be the one to change his ways. but you can choose to work with them instead of against them.
you shoot up in bed, almost like a switch has been flipped in your body. you’re still crying, and you know you’re not looking your best with puffy bloodshot eyes. but none of it matters, because you’ve already dealt with radio silence for nearly a week and you need to talk to him. it can’t wait any longer.
you’re not exactly sure what you’re going to say, but you figure it’ll come to you in the moment like it always does with chris. so you race downstairs and jam your sneakers on before flying out the front door.
the rain is freezing on your skin, pattering hard and fast against your body as it mixes with your tears. you can feel yourself getting soaked as your shoes squish into the ground.
you’ve walked this path very frequently in the past few weeks, far more than you ever expected to.
you silently hope this won’t be the last.
you take the steps up to the front door two at a time, not hesitating to pound on the wood as soon as you’re close enough. you’re actually mid-knock when it opens, and your knuckle collides with chris’s chest.
he raises his eyebrows, looking at you incredulously like he’s not sure what you’re doing here or why you just hit him.
you practically jump back, yanking your hand away quickly. “shit—sorry. i didn’t mean to do that.”
your words hang there, waiting to be replied to, but it doesn’t come. chris remains silent, studying you carefully, trying to decide if he should close the door in your face.
but he can’t bring himself to do it, because you look so upset, and he can tell you’ve been crying which breaks his heart more.
“i, uh, came over to say i’m sorry. for what i said the other day.” you continue, taking a single step closer to try and find some shelter from the storm.
“it’s whatever.” he shrugs you off easily.
you bite down on the inside of your cheek, trying to work up the courage to tell the truth. you can tell he’s growing impatient, still angry with the way you left things.
you don’t blame him.
“and i also wanted to say that i…i don’t regret it. and i shouldn’t have left like that.” you finally admit, voice quiet as you gaze at him.
his pretty blue eyes go wide, completely shocked by this confession. that was the last thing he expected you to say, and it makes his cheeks grow warm.
he’s annoyed by the fact that his red face is clearly a dead giveaway, because you smile softly at his reaction.
“really?” he asks.
“don’t make me say it twice, christopher.” you point a finger at him.
he takes a step closer, leaning down just a little bit to look you at you directly. he’s smirking now too, and you know that his ego has made a full recovery.
“i want to hear you say it over and over, baby.” chris breathes against your mouth.
he hovers, and you know you need to prove yourself to him. so you wrap a damp hand around the back of his neck and pull him the rest of the way, smashing your lips against his.
all of your pent up aggression and intensity go into the kiss, and it’s making you weak in the knees as one of his hands finds your hip and the other finds your ass. he clearly doesn’t care about the fact that you’re dripping wet, and you suddenly feel like you’re wet in a completely different way.
you can also tell he’s trying to be dominant, but you’re the one who ends up clamping down on his bottom lip lightly. he gives your ass a firm smack in response, and you gasp just enough for him to slip his tongue inside your mouth.
after the time apart, you can’t seem to get close enough to him, and you’re clawing at his back like you want to crawl into his skin. chris is actually the one to push himself from you first, though he still rests his forehead against yours.
“come inside?”
you laugh under your breath. “i’m literally soaked.”
“you’re also shivering, and you should probably get into a shower.” he attempts to persuade you, leaning in to steal one more peck.
you smile against his lips, shaking your head once he pulls away. “i think i’m too terrified of your bathroom.”
“well yours is free too.” chris points out before slipping by you into the rain, his fingers closing around your own as he pulls you along.
and you let him, following the boy back out into the downpour because you truly want to.
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