#(while also being pretty irl)

[telesodalite]

Never getting over Fulcrum being a project manager...

Idk why, but something about that is so funny to me. Not just because the title of "project manager" is inherently kinda funny for a Decepticon, but also because-

1. It's vague sounding and hard to explain irl because it technically exists in multiple fields, like healthcare or manufacturing, which surely translates into canon in some way.

2. In canon, it's simultaneously a really mundane, innocuous sounding job, yet it's also a super morally awful position to reside over depending on the context. (*cough* forced colonization and cyberforming *cough*)

And 3. It solidifies the fact that behind all the surface level militaristic work we get with both the Decepticons and Autobots, there's also Cons and Bots with "normal" jobs in both factions.

Like, sure yeah we get scientists and doctors, engineers and programmers, but usually in big important or warfront positions. (For plot reasons, understandably.) But it's also really funny and interesting to think of those that worked background positions, or minor jobs.

Like an Autobot working in their equivalent of an HR department, or a Decepticon who runs one of their outpost's or starship's kitchens.

Just all the pre-war jobs that didn't just disappear with the war, but instead evolved to exist within the factions.

It's particularly funny with the Decepticons though, because it could be a super mundane job or situation, but because it's them, it has to have an air of ~e v i l~ to it, either legitimately and/or merely for the vibes, like Tarn's "performance reviews".

[nabaath-areng]

Been impossible to take photos of these nails due to horrible weather lighting, but since it was specifically inspired by Ieeha I needed to figure out a way... thank you closet for having surprisingly decent lighting and dresses for being a surprisingly decent backdrop!!!

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

🖤🩶🤍💜

[hisnamesdylan]

When you’re job literally pays you to stand there and look pretty:

[photo ID: from left to right — Kat Godwin, Quill Kipps, and Bobby Vernon dressed up at the Fittes ball.

/End ID]

[mistyycowoa]

Confessing my sins to the internet because my irl friends don't know my tumblr

I'm actually a horrible friend and I don't plan to change :)

I'll be a good friend to anyone I actually like and I usually don't associate with people who I don't like, but sometimes there will be an occasional lonely (usually annoying) kid that follows me around. (They're lonely for a reason.) I kinda hate people who are loud literally all the time but I can hold my tongue and this kinda person just doesn't leave because they're not being told directly to leave.

What do I do? I talk to them only when I need them, I make unnecessarily mean comments as a joke, I point out their obvious flaws that I know they have a hard time changing, and all while they still follow me around like I'm not kinda bullying them.

Sometimes I'll treat them like an actual friend when I'm in a good mood, but if I'm not, then the unfortunate victim becomes my emotional punching bag. (I have ways to quickly fix my mood and this is completely unnecessary and I could distance myself until I feel better like how I do with actual friends.) I think this is like. Breadcrumbing? Anyways yeah, toxic shit.

If any of your "friends" treat you like this, they don't see you as a friend. If they leave you doubting if they like you or not, leave you doubting if you're actually friends, they probably don't see you as a friend. (because that's the case for me :3 )

I'm a horrible human being and I don't feel nearly as bad as I should about it :)

[andrewmnyard]

I’m!!!! Engaged!!!!

[maxidebt]

just woke up from a dream where a car hit my apartment building, caving in the side of the living room and demolishing the stairs. it was a much nicer building than where i live in reality (cross between a hotel & an air bnb i stayed at once) and my next door neighbor was the incredibly shy cashier at my local piggly wiggly

[camgoloud]

i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up

[connormoving]

the world if sims 4 had more lots per world

[magicagrl]

i just made an account on the doctors on demand website so i can possibly see a psychiatrist through my works insurance and maybe next i'll actually make an appointment to get my anxiety under control. so look at me! i'm getting there ᕙ(•̀ - •́ )ᕗ

[biokenneth]

Some bird pictures that AREN'T low quality this time!

[honeyblackberries]

In the back seat (18+)

caleb x fem reader/mc smut

minors dni | inspired by diet pepsi by addison rae | cross-posted to ao3

word count: 1466

cw: simp caleb, soft dom caleb, he also likes to bite, pantie freak caleb, reader enables him, praise, oral (fem receiving), p in v, responsible car sex <333 (don't get freaky in a rental car irl), irresponsible intercourse (caleb doesn’t wrap it before he taps it), porn with feelings, porn no plot because idk how to write plot but i also can’t really write porn so maybe this is a secret third thing, no set pov.

names used: pips (pipsqueak but cuter), good girl, pretty girl, my girl

If Caleb is being honest with himself this moment is something straight out of his teenage fantasies. Driving along the coast with you in the passenger's seat, listening as you sing along to a song that’s been on repeat for the past half hour. Hair softly blowing in the wind as the late afternoon sun glows behind you like a halo.

You’re an angel he thinks, how else could you bless him with such a gift on one of his rare days off. The keys to his dream car—with the disclaimer that it was only a rental during his visit to Linkon—and that short sundress… His gaze unconsciously drifts from the road and onto you.

Maybe wet dreams are a better description for this. The way the hem of your dress rides up your thighs while you shift to find a more comfortable position, cotton panties peeking out underneath it.

Your eyes meet his and Caleb feels his pants tighten.

Today was supposed to be a well deserved break from all the demands that come with being the Farspace Fleet’s Colonel. Something relaxing. Yet he can’t help but feel inclined to the complete opposite. Back ramrod straight and hand, previously loose and confident on the wheel, now gripping it so tight that his knuckles strain.

“I'm happy you’re here,” you say sweetly and he has to stop himself from acting like a horny dog. “Is there anything you wanna do before we head home?”

“Eat you out,” he thinks dreamily.

“..What?”

Shit. Shit. How could he say that out loud!? He’s an idiot, a depraved fool—

“Well, okay.”

He almost crashes the car.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to—I mean—I didn’t mean to say it out loud,” you laugh at him and he isn’t sure whether to be mortified or turned on.

“Pull over.” He does.

Caleb doesn’t realise it but despite the less than innocent circumstances his silly reaction makes you smile. Happy at the expression that settles on his handsome face. How his eyes light up in a way you never really see anymore, giddy and unrestrained.

‘Cute,’ you want to tease, but he’s already rolling the tinted windows up. Undoing his seatbelt and moving into the back seat. Oh how could you keep him waiting when he’s just so eager? You undo your own seatbelt and amusedly follow along. Moving to get on top of him.

“Don’t hover pips,” he instructs—in that know-it-all voice he’s used since you were kids—and you don’t get the chance to consider it. Not when his hands trail under your skirt to grab your thighs and impatiently bring you down onto his face.

“Fuck you smell so good,” his nose presses right against your clothed heat. He inhales deeply. “I could get off just from smelling you, just from smelling these,” his lips part to let teeth graze the thin fabric of your panties.

“I can keep 'em when we're done, yeah?” His hot breath makes a shiver run through you in anticipation. His tongue licks down the centre where a wet patch starts to form. “I’ll cook dinner in return.”

You want to argue that he always cooks dinner. But you want what he’s currently offering more.

Your small hum of agreement is all he needs.

Safe to say, Caleb does mouth at you like a dog. Desperate, hungry, tongue heavy and slobbering. You have to push yourself against his chest to keep steady. The toned muscles there flexing as he eats like he’s been starved.

“Good girl, sittin’ so pretty for me,” his praise is barely understandable. Voice muffled and lower than a moment ago.

One of his hands leaves your thighs, his fingers moving to the fabric separating you. He teasingly pulls it back and lets go, a light snap against your skin. You flinch and he chuckles in response. He then pushes it to the side to expose you bare to him. Continuing to lick, this time with the addition of his thumb rubbing directly against your sensitive bud.

“Delicious,” he moans at the taste and sucks at your clit for more.

You’re not sure how long you last before everything crashes down all at once. Your orgasm racking your body and leaving you trembling. Dripping right into his open mouth.

The way your breath hitches and small whines you make when you cum always remind him how he could spend the rest of his life between your thighs. Forever wanting you pliant in his hold like this.

As you start to feel yourself coming down from the high, Caleb lightly bites at your tender flesh, making you yelp. He places a soft kiss in apology, even though you both know he isn’t sorry in the slightest.

In an act of revenge you start to reach for where he needs it. Fingertips barely brushing the large tent in his pants before he grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Next time pips, I’ll go crazy if I’m not inside you soon.” At that you’re suddenly flipped around, back pressed against the leather seat. Wedged in the cramped space afforded to you between the car and his large body.

Caleb looks down at you with a wide grin. The lower half of his face damp with your arousal and his own saliva.

“Let me put it in?”

Even when he’s like this the words come out as a question. He’ll only do it if you let him, only if you want it half as much as he does. His silver necklace dangles in front of you and reflected in it is your lips, curled up into an affirmative.

Caleb wastes no time. Hurriedly undoing his pants and freeing his hard leaking cock. Leaning over you with one hand beside your head as the other grasps his reddened tip and nudges you panties to the side with it. Lining himself up he sinks into you slowly.

“You’re heaven,” he yaps, already pussy drunk. "You feel like heaven, ugh—like you were made for me. Weren’t you?”

He shakes his head at his own words, as if a better explanation came to him. Then he resolutely bottoms out inside you.

“No, I was the one made for you.”

“Caleb—” you whine at the feeling of being so full. Arms moving to wrap around his torso, not sure if to hold him closer or push him away.

He groans, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to fight off the orgasm that would have had him cumming from the way you say his name. Testingly, he pulls out slightly just to push back in. Repeating shallow thrusts to get you comfortable.

“More,” you beg.

“Of course,” he kisses you and you can taste yourself on him. “I aim to please.” His pace quickens, becoming rough. You can’t help but clench at the immediate change.

“Oh shit—loosen up pretty girl.” You try to.

Over and over you feel his cock try to make your cunt give in to him, and when he feels the grip of your walls ease up slightly he angles his hips to hit deeper.

You claw at his back, the fabric of his shirt catching under your fingers. The feeling of him too much.

“You like that huh?”

The car windows are fogging at the spike in body heat, neither of you letting up until you both get your fill. The sounds of shallow breathing and skin against skin the only thing that can be heard.

Caleb bites your lip when he kisses you in between thrusts. Like he wants to devour you in every way possible.

“I’m—close,” you bury your face into his neck, trying to ground yourself.

He nearly slips entirely out of you. Hips starting to lose their rhythm, a sign that he is too.

“I know—fuck—cum with me.”

Your release comes first, and he doesn’t last long after.

“That's my girl.”

His movements slow as he spills into you. A white ring forming around the base of him as a mix of both your cum tries to leak out. He grinds a few times to make sure it stays then collapses on top of you.

The two of you remain like that for a few minutes, relishing in the feeling of your chests pressed together as you cool down. Caleb’s cock slowly going limp inside you.

His hands move to cradle your face, gently stroking your cheeks as he kisses all over with cherishing lightness.

“I love you.”

“Love you too Caleb.”

Then he has to go and ruin the moment.

“Panties please,” he holds out his hand. Asking for a treat.

You sigh, the post-nut clarity kicking in. “I’ll give it to you after I wash it.”

“Don’t wash it.”

“...”

a/n: rip need everyone to know this was initially supposed to be a sylus fic. also what do we think do we like me actually trying to make the layout nice/not write in all lowercase??

[a-very-fond-farewell]

I’m back at it again folks. (*inhales k/im g/o-eun content like kirby*) I’m fine. time to write 😔🏳️‍🌈💅🏻

[unearthlyeclipse]

ROBERT "BOB" REYNOLDS :: SENTRY :: VOID P!LINKS // NSFW/SMUT

A/N: This was made for my two irl besties since we've been giggling about these guys all week. It's a lovely movie, by the way. GO WATCH IT!!! Also, THANK YOU ALL FOR 100+ FOLLOWERS THIS LITERALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO MEEE!! This post is a bit lengthy but I'm pretty sure you all won't mind ;)

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, smut, teasing, edging, mutual masturbation, spanking, fingering, cunnilingus, blowjob, size difference (?), creampie, overstimulation, brat taming (?), minor lactation, titfucking, sex toys, let me know if I miss any!!

Sentry You and Sentry having some fun with mutual masturbation. Teasing Sentry till he cums into your hand, a moaning mess. Sentry practically melted when he saw how mesmerized you were by his girth. Sentry was holding himself back from plowing your insides. The way your moans filled the room had him flustered. Sentry gripping your ass as he fucks up into you in desperation. A vocal Sentry fucking you senseless. Sentry prioritizing your orgasm first. Sentry still believes you don't know his worth.

Bob (IMG) Bob showing you some love early in the morning. Despite how timid he could be, Bob loves watching your face as he fucks you. Bob loves watching your hips jolt against his face. Once Bob ate you out the first time, he couldn't resist your taste. You and Bob cumming together as he rut inside of you like a dog. Bob and you getting intimate after a rough day. Finally allowing Bob to cum inside of you, whimpering mindlessly. Edging Bob in order to hear his pretty cries. You and Bob making a film for each other whenever you are separated, but he couldn't help but hide his face as you stroke him. Titfucking a needy Bob.

Void Void loves watching you cry his name while you're beneath him. You can't help but squirm while Void has you over his lap, crying from the motions of his hands. He wanted to see you in the black lingerie he gave you. Void fucking your throat. Whining like a mess while Void had you tied up, holding a vibrator to your poor, aching clit. Void slamfucking you after being suppressed for so long. He had watched the others have their fun with you, but he had been neglected, now grown far too jealous to handle. Void making you cum on his tongue then holding your leg and overstimulating you. Void holding you down and eating you out to get that cheeky smile off your face. Void using one of your toys on your cunt.

ALL of them (no threesomes unfortunately,,, FREAKS)

Running your hand through their hair as they suck your breasts tenderly.

They can't help but be vocal as you're sucking their dicks.

They love listening to you cry out with every thrust.

They're addicted to watching you squirm beneath their tongues, holding your torso down while your grind against their faces.

You were TRYING to make them breakfast, but it would have to wait.

Enjoying their favorite meal.

[zillychu]

sometimes you black out and just an entire Persona 5 AU in one night

did I ever settle on a design for phantom thief! Siffrin? no. anyway,

NOT fully mirroring the P5 plot!! it's a bit different! a few were hit with the obligatory anime teenager beam

Siffrin gets arrested for allegedly attacking someone with a knife! this did not happen. while trying to help someone, he in fact got knifed in the face and lost an eye.

the adoption system is about to drop their ass since they're nearly an adult and no one's too happy about the aggravated assault. fate drops him at Nille's doorstep, who takes pity on him but insists she's only housing his ass for some extra cash. Bonnie acquires another felon a sibling!

showing up to school looking like shit (anxiety, no sleep), with an eyepatch and a natural silent intensity, no one really questions if he's stabbed someone. everyone's pretty sure he's killed someone actually.

Mira and Isa are charged with helping the new local mass murderer get settled, and they slowly start to uncover the real Siffrin hiding under all that apprehension. Odile, the school nurse, is all kinds of queer so she's got these kids' backs. as the story progresses, they each have their own character arc around biting back on authority (Isa gets the courage to transition, and Mira stops straightening her hair)

what about everyone else's outfits? that's the fun part! SIFFRIN IS DOING ALL THIS PHANTOM THIEF SHIT ALONE

well not totally alone. they've got a weird cat now. they can talk (Siffrin wishes they didn't) and has a concerning amount of knowledge about the metaverse for being an amnesiac! (this worries them too, they just try not to show it)

the OTHER fun part is that Siffrin is doing half this phantom thief stuff in the metaverse, half in the real world. good news is, he has the magic metaverse stuff irl! bad news is he has the magic metaverse stuff irl. yeah it helps keep him from getting caught, but law enforcement starts rising quickly to military arms when you start breaking physics while also being a theater kid about it.

the meat of the plot is surrounding Siffrin's struggle to fit two lives into one, and how his friends are WAY too perceptive to keep this up forever. but they have to, because they've only barely convinced their friends to accept them. if they knew he was some evil freaky magic terrorist (he's not, but like, who would believe him when he's doing seemingly evil freaky magic terrorist things!), they'd turn him in, they'd be scared, they'd HATE him!!

btw there is no rival for Siffrin. he's his own rival. lets give the "I'm terrified I'm manipulating my friends" twink actual mind alteration powers and see what happens :))

[gaywineauntsstuff]

I love the idea of Dick being all the Batkid's favourite sibling but in violently different fonts.

Jason: Dick and Jay canonically have a pretty solid relationship but i'm partial to the Jason was around for Dick's rebellion stage and so Dick doesn't think he has to worry about the pedestal thing bc Jason has absolutely seen him violently hungover before he was legally allowed to drink font of this

So by the time Jason comes back and is no longer trying to murder Tim (except psychologically) Dick decides... Well he's evil sometimes but also I can finally tell someone all the Titans drama. So him and Jason meet up like once month if they're in the same city and get progressively drunker while shit talking their teams and Bruce.

Also I hate the Dick and Robin!Jason didn't get along. They absolutely did, Dick was like 0.5 seconds away from taking Jason to live with the titans permanently.

Tim: 'Oh Jason is Tims Robin, Oh Dick betrayed Tims trust.' in the name of the orange dude y'all elected twice W R O N G. Tim Drake used to watch VHS tapes of the flying Graysons routine. He wasn't even a batman Stan first. That came after he saw Robin do a quadruple summersault. Tim is a Dick Grayson fanboy first Person second. Like Tim canonically saw Jason die and went lmao skill issue, imagine not being like Dick Grayson i'm better. When Dick first started training him, he'd consistently excuse himself go to the other room, hyperventilate over Dick Grayson teaching him how to train surf. Dick is not just his idol he's also a pretty substantial part of Tim's support system. He calls Dick when he's going through something or is stuck on a case. And he knows that Dick will always have his back. They have like the unrealistic adorable sibling relationships from Tv that don't exist irl. Tim also does that awkward shuffle thing after fights bc they're still siblings and Dick just pretends the fight didn't happen until Tims calm again

Damian: You have to understand Damian thought he'd have to basically do the league all over again. He lands with Bruce and those ideas are soundly rejected and he now has no trust or respect and he has to adjust. And Bruce is doing his holier than thou, you should know better 10yro who literally was brainwashed as a child act, like Tim didn't have to pull him away from straight up becoming a villain and Dick didn't have to put him in his place with his fists a couple times a year (we love Bruce really). Then Bruce gets Time-streamed, Tim runs away and now the circus freak is BATMAN. Except the circus freak is also a sadistic bastard to criminals, despite being made out of marshmallows to you. Dick hangs people upside down off high buildings for information and cackles as Nightwing. He also listens to Damians worries and helps him deconstruct his bias view of the world. Dick canonically set the standard for child heroes and is among one of the most beloved and trusted heroes despite being marshmallowy and refusing to murder people. Dick is kinda like Damians stand in non pretentious moral compass until he learns his own one later on. Hence why Damian adores Dick Grayson more than anyone really.

in summary support my agenda that Dick and Jason are gossipy drinking buddies, Tim absolutely had a Dick Grayson Shrine as a child and Damian calls Dick to double check that he still cannot kill Timothy (its now entirely a joke.... mostly)