#*i don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people*

[bloomzone]

𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲?

ok look i'm not tryna be that anti-social media girl or whatever but guys i've BEEN through this and i need to warn y'all bc it's actually insane how pack mentality is just deleting ur personality and you don't even see it??? like it doesn't come for you obviously it shows up as trends, as "everyone's doing this," as comment sections where you're scrolling and suddenly you're agreeing with stuff you don't even believe just bc everyone else is... and next thing you know you're not even making your own choices anymore u're just copying whatever you see online and calling it YOUR vibe n nobody want to be that one negative comment in a positive space cuz suddenly everyone's will be attacking him not bc they actually care but bc they see which way the crowd is going and nobody wants to be the weird one standing alone

We're really not as original as we think and ik that's gonna hurt some feelings but like whether it's your fits, your vocabulary, the mental health stuff you self-diagnose (and don't even get me started on this... ppl be straight up lying about having mental issues just to seem cool and mysterious or whatever??? like depression and anxiety became an aesthetic and that's actually DISGUSTING IN MY OPINION and now being bullied is trendy too??? ppl really be making up trauma timelines like it will make u look cool and dark 💀 if you actually weren't bullied you should be thanking god bc that stuff genuinely ruins lives and it's not cute or funny at all) , your career goals... society really said "here's the blueprint" and we all just took it??? thinking we're so unique when we're literally all doing the same thing. the pack decides what you should think, look like, u need to look a certain way just because it’s trending girls are literally getting surgery after surgery just to keep up n then when the trend fades they’re left trying to undo it all like our bodies are supposed to follow algorithms ! and if you dare to be different?? you're the PROBLEM.

But you're allowed to think for yourself, to not follow every micro-trend, to stop and ask " am i just scared to be the only one who doesn't use this ???" your real self isn't some rough draft that needs constant updates to match what's trending that's literally what makes you YOU, so maybe stop letting tiktok raise you and remember who you actually are under all this stuff you've been copying.

OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY IF YOU WANT TO FIX THIS (I’m not trying to embrace that “I’m not like other girls” energy because it’s not about being better or different for the sake of it.)

Start being proud of who you actually are. Like, genuinely PROUD. If you don’t like something that everyone else is into, that doesn’t mean you’re weird it means you have a mind of your own u’re not supposed to mold yourself into the same shape as everyone else just to feel accepted.

It’s okay to sit in a group of people and have a different opinion. You don’t need to fake a personality just to keep the peace. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you’re allowed to say it. Your taste, your perspective, your energy they all matter even if no one else in the room agrees u don’t need to explain yourself or shrink down just to fit into a vibe that was never made for you in the first place.

Before you buy anything before you jump into a trend, before you start liking something just because it’s everywhere pause ask yourself, “Do I actually like this? Or am I just scared of feeling left out?” That question alone can save you so much time energy, and even money. Wear what you love. Listen to what you connect with. Do things that feel true to you even if it makes you stand out a little.& yeah Ikr being different might feel uncomfortable sometimes It might feel isolating somehow.

If people try to clown you or make you feel wrong for thinking differently, don’t take it personally. Most of the time, they’re just scared of how free you are. Scared because you remind them that they’ve been copying everyone else for so long they forgot what they actually like. u don’t need to change who you are. You just need to unlearn the idea that blending in is safer than being real because in the end, the only thing that’s ever going to make you feel proud grounded and alive is being yourself fully

@bloomzone

[deservedgrace]

it is so frustrating to me when people only learn to be empathetic or care about something when it personally happens to them or someone they care about

and like, yes, obviously i'm glad when people learn better and do better, and i don't want to shame people that are now doing better because ultimately it's not helpful and changing at all is a good thing and i do want to acknowledge and celebrate that

but also why did it take you needing an abortion and almost dying to become pro-choice and advocate for abortion access? why could you only see the humanity in queer people when your brother came out? why do you only view racism as a real issue now that you're friends with a person of color?

why do things have to personally impact you for you to give a shit?

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[sexhaver]

i think a lot of the autistic people defending Cakegate OP by armchair diagnosing him with autism heard the statement "behaviors typically associated with autism should be destigmatized" and somehow interpreted it as "an autism diagnosis means that literally nothing you do can ever be criticized, because it's autistic behavior by definition which makes your detractors ableist". yeah yeah yeah eye contact and social conventions are difficult for us, suck it up and stop taking it out on other people (much less your girlfriend? in front of her kids???)

[shinesurge]

Magically, I haven't really had to mute that "tumblr isn't dead Actually" post yet because most of the shitty responses are just people who are frustrated about not getting more engagement. WHICH I can understand for sure seeing as I've been making a comic for a decade that has 196 followers on tumblr lolol. I've been doing okay lately but I'm DEEPLY mentally ill and it's absolutely exacerbated by my career, y'all who have been around a while know i am DEFINITELY not salt-deficient in my own time.

mostly i just feel bad because like. man what would you like me to do, i made my point and none of their blogs disprove it. i know i'm REALLY not an example of Success™️ or whatever (my comic is on a six month timer literally right now, i'm working with dogfood over here lmfao) but if you're ONLY feigning enthusiasm with the EXPECTATION that you'll get Something in return that's not going to work either. tumblr, but also most nerdy social medias, is best for people who are obsessive about stuff. i said fandom in the original post but there are thriving craft communities here! there are weightlifters! it doesn't MATTER what the thing is, you just have to genuinely be into it to an embarrassing degree, and want to hang out with other people doing the same. that's how communities work.

this issue plays out /constantly/ in the webcomic community, SO many people show up to get popular or whatever with no intention of reading anyone else's stuff, or reading other comics is A Chore rather than a cause for excitement. Almost all of those projects die early because the creator gets burnt out, because webcomics are fuckin hard and thankless and the ONLY reason you keep at it is because you love it yourself and can't help but make the thing. and then you stick around long enough to find the other freaks who are also too stupid to quit, and now you have friends lol

I really feel for the folks who are so frustrated, i have one foot there pretty much all the time. but you can't fake this stuff, and unfortunately i do not know how to explain this concept to folks who don't even realize where the problem is

[olena]

By Kayla Chadwick, Contributor, Jun 26, 2017

I can’t debate someone into caring about what happens to their fellow human beings. The fact that such detached cruelty is so normalized in a certain party’s political discourse is at once infuriating and terrifying.

The “I’ve got mine, so screw you,” attitude has been oozing from the American right wing for decades, but this gleeful exuberance in pushing legislation that will immediately hurt the most vulnerable among us is chilling.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

I Don't Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People

[light-wrath-paradise]

Deeply fascinated by the psychologist being weirded out by how much I don't know. Like. Girl I don't know how to explain to you that I don't exactly announce my forgetfulness to people.

"How did you act? Did you say anything weird during that time?" "I don't know, nobody mentioned anything." "And when you asked them about it?" "I didn't. I don't ask people about it, I just go by context and hope." "????" "It'd make people worry if I expressed that I don't remember something. So I just don't ask." "????"

Like. Girl.

[sukimas]

"there's no way that someone who abandoned their humanity could actually want to go back to being that weak and vulnerable" the other two sages are convinced.

[mayra-quijotescx]

"it's sooo interesting and not sus at all how all of these people begging for money know someone in Gaza with a chronic illness-"

yes, you soulless husks in the vague shape of people, it's almost like being in an open-air prison from which food, vaccines, protective equipment, and clean water are blockaded and never getting any sleep or medical treatment because all the hospitals were rendered powder along with homes, water treatment facilities, and all the other infrastructure that comfortable Western bloggers take for granted is a perfect storm for giving people chronic illnesses.

We have seen news about COVID ripping through Gaza because the apartheid state won't allow vaccines in. We have seen news about polio outbreaks in Gaza because the only water they can get is contaminated. Anyone who can use the internet can easily find this info, both from firsthand accounts of people living it and, if that isn't enough for them for some reason, in polished journalistic English from the verified news outlets they profess to trust. Yes, everyone in Gaza has a chronic illness. Every single adult and child in Gaza is being forcibly disabled by their apartheid oppressors. Why does that invoke suspicion and not outrage?

Get well soon, and I mean that sincerely.

[gloriousmonsters]

overall it sucks because i don't like 'pro-recovery' content that assumes everyone can do/perform certain things and that it'll be their goal, or act like you aren't allowed to have symptoms and interact with the world, but it feels like every time I run into people talking openly about having NPD/having low empathy disorders and etc there's both a lot of, i cannot think of another word to use, edgelord content about how dark and fucked up they are and also a lot of 'well i don't feel x so i just lie and i just constantly lie and perform and feel nothing and other people don't matter to me so i don't wanna bother with their feelings etc', full stop and I just wind up like. ok but you know you can practice cognitive empathy right. you know you can change some ways your brain works or you interact with the world with diligence and practice right. RIGHT? so maybe work on that?

and also just wanting to hold up a giant sign that says GROW A MORAL CORE, AND I DON'T MEAN 'OH I REFRAIN FROM MURDER OR OPENLY STATING HOW MUCH I HATE PEOPLE' THAT'S THE BASIC SOCIAL PRESSURE WE'RE ALL UNDER, I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T ~FEEL~ LIKE BEING A GOOD PERSON MAKEANEFFORTTANFRANCE.JPEG

[sing-you-fools]

picked my 7 year old up from school today to discover she is having what i can only describe as a Break Stuff Day. absolutely furious about everything and doesn't even want to go to her favorite activity.

i prod a little. after a long and convoluted story in which she recounts every single thing that pissed her off, she finally gets to the beginning of her day, in which, it turns out, she attempted to explain to her friend with trumper parents that Racism Is Bad, Actually, only to be met with a: "so?"

yeah. yeah, that'll do it.

[httpiastri]

Hi, I started watching f2 this year and I had question if you can answer: why do some of Franco's fans hate on drivers like Paul?

hmmmm im not sure if im the right person to ask, but i think it's because fans from certain countries (such as argentina) are very very passionate about their drivers? so when they have a driver such as franco who's doing well and driving in f2, they're extremely supportive when he does well, but they also get quite protective when things go wrong. if you check out the f2 ig comment section of posts where franco has scored points, there will be tons of argentinian comments cheering him on, which is lovely and im sure franco is very thankful for their support!! but then in cases such as when paul was upset about franco's overtake during the last lap of imola, they get defensive instead 🤷‍♀️

[daleearnhardt]

You don’t have to say USAmerican. The reason people from the USA are called “American” is because it’s the only country with the word “America” in it.

This is an insane ask to get in the year 2024. Yes, I am aware I can refer to myself as an American. As I said in the post you're referring to, I live here, was raised here. Born here, even.

The reason I clarified 'USAmerican' is because a lot of people in North, Central, and South American countries take offense to our use of the term "American" as if only we can use it as an identifier, when they, too, can called themselves that. The US took on the name of its continent, and the other countries on said continent can take exception to how we in the States refer to ourselves in different, specific contexts.

I use "American" a majority of the time, when talking with my fellow residents or if it's already been established in the conversation (with whoever from wherever). However, in my post about Spanish speakers, I am directly asking people from other countries in the Americas a question specific to them and their experience.

Again, this can be multi-layered, and it can depend on who you're talking to and when. But I will always be considerate when talking directly to a group of people I am not a part of.

I first heard about this 12 or 13 years ago? Maybe even earlier, I don't remember where. But, here's an article from the Atlantic in 2013.

[dan-crimes]

Mfs can't understand a blunt mf they always gotta try and read between the lines or straight up deny the words you're saying and deny how you feel

[superstardestroyer]

I know every time we start talking about how fandom is now/used to be it's quickly pointed out that this group has always existed but "It is, by nature of fandom, impossible to "manage" because no one owns fan spaces." This is what's changed.

When moderators existed, there was an expectation that once someone had proven themselves to be this type, they would be removed. It didn't always work great - this type seeks out becoming mods more than most! I recall a hilarious event with a Gundam LJ community in particular. But because they are such a small percent of the whole, they can be bullied back (which was what made the event such an impeccable and memorable time).

The algorithm has changed things though. Fanart and fic don't drive comments and retweets and discourse vids as much as contentious senseless beefing does. Discord communities are naturally hidden away so instead of being open and allowing the larger groups to come in and air things out politely they fall prey to the one or two who come in.

Fandoms end up virtually controlled by this demographic now in public perception as a result. That article about how studios are going to run things past gam*rgate types to avoid their ire speaks to a phenomenal shift in the perception of the power of the 1% of horrific fans.

I think it's also exacerbated because of the prevalence of phones and the power of social media. Doing numbers can make you real world money and get you real world attention, and back pre-2010 you had to log off to go to work and school. You didn't really impress anybody by being on fandomwank for being a fandoms nightmare.

Growth and normalization of fandom are huge factors, but the design and influence of social media are a kerosene on the fire of the 1%.

Dismantling their power and preventing their behavior relies on the rest of us realizing the role we play in it: QRTing them shouldn't happen. Linking to their content is the last thing we should do. Certain things that used to work for naming and shaming are now exploitable hacks for them.

Sharing bad call-out posts that are clearly just personal beef needs to stop: the 1% can and does use our communities and senses of justice against us. We need to stop trying to prove constantly to each other that we're good and pure because let's be real: 99% of us aren't hurting anyone no matter what we do in our corner of fandom.

Weird kinks and problematic fic content do much less damage than a person who constantly sets fires in our spaces. Moderating - as a former moderator of multiple fandom and art spaces, some very large - has never been about policing ourselves for little, weird, gross behaviors. It's about spotting behavior that either is these guys or feeds into the shenanigans of the small number of real troublemakers online and cutting them off from attention and audience and mobs to lead.

And to deny them means I think that all of us need to care a lot less about clout and audience online too, which is what's so hard about it. QRTing or otherwise linking the menace and their content makes them come beef with you. It drives views. Not doing it stops YOU from getting followers as surely as it does the problem-maker. Wanting the approval and notice of popular fans makes you end up part of their hurtful mob.

Politely minding our own business is harder. But in the end it's what we need to start doing more of to starve out this shit. The Tumblr porn ban and folks coming back really did improve this site tremendously: by cutting the chain of communication between them and everybody else. With fewer followers here, many of them focused their attention elsewhere. It may involve posting to smaller communities and tending to your mutuals more and bothering with everyone else less, but I think it is worth doing.

Doing your part to not be part of their behavior is not just passively ignoring them. It is an incredible difficult and active task where you have to dismiss the hold they want to have on your attention all the time and instead focus all your energy on accepting the harmless and annoying parts you don't like about everybody else in your fandom to build a community that isn't going to evaporate in 6 months when it is no longer the cool new show or whatever. Now more than ever, we have to be resilient and care about each other as people and fandom spaces rather than an audience to validate us and confirm that we are important and pure so that we can starve out those of us who will burn our community to the ground so that they can get what they want from the ashes.

I feel like with the new ~fandom drama~ or whatever going around, I should re-introduce my favorite theory of fandom, which I call the 1% Theory.

Basically, the 1% Theory dictates that in every fandom, on average, 1% of the fans will be a pure, unsalvageable tire fire. We’re talking the people who do physical harm over their fandom, who start riots, cannot be talked down. The sort of things public news stories are made of. We’re not talking necessarily bad fans here- we’re talking people who take this thing so seriously they are willing to start a goddamn fist fight over nothing. The worst of the worst.

The reason I bring this up is because the 1% Theory ties into an important visual of fandom knowledge- that bigger fandoms are always perceived as “worse”, and at a certain point, a fandom always gets big enough to “go bad”. Let me explain.

Say you have a small fandom, like 500 people- the 1% Theory says that out of those 500, only 5 of them will be absolute nutjobs. This is incredibly manageable- it’s five people. The fandom and world at large can easily shut them out, block them, ignore their ramblings. The fandom is a “nice place”.

Now say you have a medium sized fandom- say 100,000 people. Suddenly, the 1% Theory ups your level of calamity to a whopping 1000 people. That’s a lot. That’s a lot for anyone to manage. It is, by nature of fandom, impossible to “manage” because no one owns fan spaces. People start to get nervous. There’s still so much good, but oof, 1000 people.

Now say you have a truly massive fandom- I use Homestuck here because I know the figures. At it’s peak, Homestuck had approximately FIVE MILLION active fans around the globe.

By the 1% Theory, that’s 50,000 people. Fifty THOUSAND starting riots, blackmailing creators, contributing to the worst of the worst of things.

There’s a couple of important points to take away here, in my opinion.

1) The 1% will always be the loudest, because people are always looking for new drama to follow.

2) Ultimately, it is 1%. It is only 1%. I can’t promise the other 99% are perfect, loving angels, but the “terrible fandom” is still only 1% complete utter garbage.

3) No fandom should ever be judged by their 1%. Big fandoms always look worse, small fandoms always look better. It’s not a good metric.

So remember, if you’re ever feeling disheartened by your fandom’s activity- it’s just 1%, people. Do your part not to be a part of it.