#...would you know yet more?

[zaahvi]

dark grows the sun, and in summer soon come mighty storms...

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[bajablastflavoredsaxreed]

bari saxthur got lucky in that kayne didn’t write him a part in The Wager so he didn’t have to go to the world’s longest and ugliest rehearsals

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Something Old, Something New.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[willyhoos]

alfred livestreaming his breakdown to the entire us public (as his pr team devolves into chaos)

[dreamyblanket]

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[just-null]

pet..... pet au....? you have.... a pet au for the clones....?

PLEASEEEE SHARE SOME THOUGHTS AB IT😭😭😭😭❤️ I was reading a pet au Hantengu fic way back when and the person never got past chapter 3 and it's been rotting my mind. I love love love pet aus when the dynamics are just right and not weirdly predatory with the pet characters and I love your little ideas for stuff🤗🤗 Share if you feel like it, I'll be eagerly awaiting.

(Also please don't exclude Zoha in this endeavor I love that little man)

The Hantengus!! A lot of cat boys..

Context behind a lot of the language in my pet au!

[Cw! Angst(?), referenced sedation, obsessed catboys.. yandere behavior]

Upon meeting them, they're veryyy excited and sweet on you, to the point where they seem TOO familiar. As if meeting a long distant lover.. With their overly friendly greetings, all the warnings and caution from staff seem like an exaggeration, if not a complete lie.

Records show that they're not even related despite sharing eerily similar features, and having only met not too long ago. You'd never guess by how they're so perfectly coordinated. Using said coordination, they simultaneously surround you.

Constant brushes, crowding, wanting your hands on them so bad, they take whatever you're holding. It's not uncommon that they begin purring just because you're around. They quickly flip from being sweet to eager entitled of your time if allowed.

To say they're overwhelming is an understatement, but the staff practically beg you to help with the bunch.

The boys aren't complaining! They're extremely pushy and insist on staying at your place instead of the hybrid shelter, maybe a few times a week? Please!? Regardless, if you say no, you might find them in your home—and a patched up broken window—when you've been gone a while.

Ah— if you hear knocking at your door, just don't tell anyone that they're here, yeah..? Y'know what? How about you just forget about answering it at all!

Sekido is tolerant when you're around. All the fire left his body, leaving small smoldering embers. His flare ups are only a real issue if there's someone unfamiliar around or giving you a hard time. Otherwise, he's pretty content with lazing about or helping with any work you have. He likes being of use to you. He gets irritated, stressed, when you lift a finger, a habit you can tell he's used to, and swats at you for any bad habits you have. Though that goes out the window if your hand's on him. It's a wonder if he's more of a dog than a cat until he starts scratching. He's just really tired.. Karaku is mischievous but doesn't cause trouble. At least, not like he used to, not as long as he has his daily dose of you. It's like he did a complete switch, the staff say, smiling randomly and rambling in an airy tone about how this is heaven on earth! How could anyone feel down around you? It must be those charms of yours. Staying indoors is okay, but he constantly nudges you to go out with him, or entirely dragging you out. Show him around places you like to frequent so you two can experience it together, maybe have some souvenirs? Wouldn't that be fun? On the days you decline, you can find him staring at the little trinkets from past dates with fondness. Urogi always has so much he wants to tell you. He can honestly talk and pace for days without stopping if it'll keep your attention. If it doesn't, he WILL cry. His mind is faster than his mouth, and stories end up garbled and hard to follow.. Sometimes, they aren't about this life, and when referring to you, it's like he's remembering a version of you.. It always ends the same. His expression gets bleak then snaps back to blissful. A content smile replacing the strained one he wore prior as he embraces you, taking a moment to feel your weight against his. Aizetsu sits in corners and watches you through cracks in the door. You can find him somewhere in your room or general area.. looking at you.. his pupils so dilated that you barely see the blue ring at the edge. He can stand still for hours until you get up or reach for something. He's already got it for you. He's combative with Sekido for that service role. Unlike his "brother," Aizetsu's movements are measured, rushed. Like something will be taken away if he doesn't act fast, so he one ups everyone and reads you before you even ask for something. Zohakuten is annoying but doesn't try to give you a hard time. He's the most demanding, always extending his arms for you to come over and hug him. At first, you can feel the tension he holds all over his body, digging his claws into your side, then like goo, he melts. It's a double edged sword since letting go makes him twice as irritated as before. He'll brat occasionally, pushing something off a counter or banging on the windows, yelling at the stranger on the other side to get lost. No one is the victim of this more than the other four. Whereas Zohakuten would start a fight with anyone else, he just annoys the other four.

The weariness hangs heavier in their eyes than the usual hybrids, but they dont like talking about it in detail. As you could guess, prior to this overwhelming clinginess, there were rivers of agonizing desperation.

———

In this life, the boys didn't have the liberty to grow up together like usual. They were born of different parents scattered throughout the region. This wasn't the first time it happened, but they hated when it did, especially Hantengu.

Each second Hantengu's away from his boys is agony. He spent so long waiting for them to be reborn just so that they're so far away!? All he can think of are the possible ways he might die and restart the damn cycle without even having the chance to see you. He's been alive for a while now, but he's too terrified to go far on his own, so he's barely made any progress!

What if something happens and he doesn't even get to meet you? now THAT would be a fate worse than the cycle.. His caretakers are stumped on what to do with him. Any attempt at calming him down were met with opposition.

The boys are as you expect. They kept acting out in hostility and showed no sign of calming down the longer they're apart. Being moved from shelter to shelter didn't help, neither did getting handled like feral animals even if, in a way, they were.

Only the thought of you kept them going, so did the knowledge that if they found you, there's a high chance they'd find each other. You always seemed to fix everything just by being there, didn't you? So they kept hopping from shelter to shelter, some familiar, some new.

Hantengu was the first to end up in the hybrid shelter near you, then the others trickled in. It would've been decades since they've last seen each other, and based on how they're fairing, no one had it easy.

Sekido was a stray trying to stay out of shelters altogether. He did his best to keep his features hidden, both gathering info about you and the others. He made good progress, pretending to be a potential housing candidate, but he'd always get hostile with people eventually, exposing himself and having the authorities called to force him into a shelter. Each time, it felt like prison because of all the restrictions and drugs.. Like hell if this was gonna stop him. Once his limbs stop feeling like jelly, he's going to find a way out of this damn place!! Again!! In his wait, at least he can pass the time by thinking about his favorite memories of you. Karaku was mostly alright, but transferred often because his very presence made the behaviors of those around him worse. He always used the "I didn't throw the first punch" excuse, but never mentioned his constant goading and spreading seeds of doubt about forgiveness that led to agitation amongst his peers. Not only towards other hybrids but staff as well. Call it sadism or nihilism, but Karaku's favorite pass time was making everyone believe that these rehabilitation shelters were nothing but a waste. The dull, empty eyes staring back at them proved it. In reality, Karaku took pleasure in the fragility of other hybrids. It took the edge off of his own anguish. Urogi always talked about you no matter where he ended up, usually causing a wave of eye rolls. But there's always that one hybrid who doesn't know how to keep their thoughts to themselves. Thus starting Urogi's rampage, watching the red streaks of other hybrids drip down their wounds, spitting at them for daring to talk bad about you. Then came the forced transfers. He loved it, honestly. His mind floated, feeling like he was a bird again, flying to you.. then the plummet when the drugs wore off that he didn't enjoy as much. With a renewed sense of determination and a strong longing for his wings, he began yapping again. Aizetsu, like Sekido, hid his features, calm enough to stay hidden. He kept to himself, mindlessly walking anywhere and everywhere with the tiniest grain of hope that he might find you there. No terrain, weather, or event would stop him from trudging through miles of land, following his intuition to where he thinks you could be. He'd be so focused on you that he'd go days without water or food, feet covered in blisters from the endless dragging across the ground before everything went dark. Waking up in a shelter always reminded him how disappointing his body was for collapsing on him. Hm.. he'll stay and recover for now, once he feels ready, he'll take some food and go again. Zohakuten raised hell, frequently ending up in confined spaces. Because he was young, he had more restrictions to ensure his safety. That only made escaping a huge hassle.. He hated being treated like a foolish boy when he's been through horrors worse than adult scissors! The confinement and restrictions ended up being for everyone else's safety after staff realized how common Zohakuten destroyed and mangled anyone in his vicinity. A familiar prick on his skin came after his small bruised hands demolished the common area, then the heaviness of his limbs settled in. Loud thumps came from the deepest part of the shelter as he banged on the walls to be released once the drugs wore off.

Their status as "lost souls" is no secret when they began tormenting anyone who tried to house them and the employees. It seems they've met the other lost and guiding souls in the shelter before with how they interact. For better and worse, at least the guiding souls temper their mischief.

They try forming a plan on how to find you next if this shelter doesn't show any results. It'd be faster to get transferred now that they're grouped up. And like the heavens opened up, they quickly realized that won't be necessary anymore once they catch a glimpse of the light they yearned for these three recent lifetimes, you. It's you.. You!

Any and all complaints are cut short when they make a habit out of gathering near the front glass of the shelter, waiting for you to walk in or pass by. Their demeanor shift is so sudden the caretakers worry they might've accidentally dropped some pills into their food. It's not like that, unless your presence counts as a drug!

[qiu-yan]

imagine the following scenario: one day, the MXTX protagonists + love interests find out, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are fictional characters; that they were created to star in a romance-genre web serialization centered around their relationship.

in this kind of situation, i feel like all of the MXTX protagonists would experience some level of existential crisis.....except for luo binghe.

fo luo binghe, the reveal would be twofold. first, there would be the PIDW reveal: that luo binghe was originally to be the protagonist of the webnovel PIDW, and that his fate changed when one of the novel's anti-fans, peerless cucumber, transmigrated into the body of shen qingqiu and derailed the entire plot.

second, there would be the SVSSS reveal: that, in reality, all of the above was actually the plot of another novel - the scum villain's self-saving system - and that said novel is not concerned with any of luo binghe's feats or conquests or the like, but rather is about the romance between shen qingqiu (shen yuan) and luo binghe. and that, rather than being the protagonist, luo binghe is instead the male lead to shen qingqiu's protagonist.

except literally both of these reveals are massive Ws for luo binghe?? first, for the PIDW reveal, luo binghe finds out why shen qingqiu pushed him into the abyss - not because shen qingqiu hated him, but rather because the system literally forced shen qingqiu to do so upon threat of death. furthermore, luo binghe learns shen qingqiu's real identity: someone who read about luo binghe from an alternate universe and came to love him, someone who loved luo binghe across dimensions so much that, upon seeing that luo binghe's story was to end with zero true emotional fulfillment, rejected this ending so vociferously that he ended up changing luo binghe's entire fate.

and then, the SVSSS reveal: this entire universe only exists because MXTX wanted to tell the story of the romance between shen qingqiu and luo binghe. from the beginning, shen qingqiu and luo binghe were fated to end up together. and, if shen qingqiu is the protagonist, that means luo binghe was literally created to love him.

absolute ego boost. massive W. every other MXTX character would be experiencing the existential crisis to end all existential crises, but not our luo binghe. nothing but victories for him.

[vaguely-concerned]

huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.

(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)

it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.

love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)

such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?

one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.

follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.

through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.

[wickedcriminal]

Last Unicorn quote stuck out to me so I gave it to Spider-Fox

(the only person willing to be your friend and he didn't show up until long after you already lost all trust in other people)

[superbat-lmao]

Pt. 2 of this (back by popular demand).

When Jason wakes the following morning he feels gross. His face is tacky and he’s smushed in an uncomfortable position where he feels like he’s rolled to the edge of his bed.

When he blinks up at Bruce, the events of the day before come crashing back with alarming clarity. He goes rigid and Bruce immediately opens his eyes to check on him, pulling back slightly to give him space.

And that makes Jason’s chest hurt. Because everything that had made him uncomfortable Bruce had fixed. Because Jason had been telling Bruce what he didn’t like about him the whole time.

Jason had started to like Batman. He’d gotten dry reports about life in the alley from the guy but he’d also gotten questions about what more could be done to help out alley kids. He’d taken all of Jason’s brash criticism and actually tried to fix things. Jason had started to really like the guy.

And to now be faced with the fact that it was Bruce, the guy who read like, an actual newspaper in the morning and asked about his interests like he was having teeth pulled, it still couldn’t quite compute.

Bruce couldn’t seem to figure out if Jason was comfortable on the cot, so Jason solved his problem for him by tucking his face back into his shoulder. He knew they would have to talk about it. How Jason had been kidnapped and watched his- watched Bruce get shot and then cried about it. But that conversation was going to be exhausting, and his body wasn’t sending him into a panic being this close to Bruce, so he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

Bruce seemed to get the message and started running his fingers through Jason’s hair again.

When Alfred came down with breakfast for the both of them, Jason knew his time was up. That they’d have to talk about it all. He wasn’t sure what they would do now that he knew, send him away? Or no, they’d need to make sure he never told anyone. Never let him leave?

Before Jason could spin out too badly, Bruce started explaining how he’d wanted to protect Jason by not telling him about his nightlife. How it was a dangerous secret to know since it could put people in danger.

Jason scoffed at that since he’d been abducted for his connections to Bruce Wayne, like that was any safer.

Bruce paled pretty quick at that but had that look on his face that said he was determined to get through this. Jason wondered which he actually preferred more, conversations or going to the dentist.

But Bruce continued to explain that he’d had concerns over Jason’s ability to trust adults and was entirely out of his depth on how to begin to repair that trust. That he thought Jason needed someone to talk to that would try and resolve his problems. And Batman could do what Bruce couldn’t. He had been scared Jason would run if he couldn’t convince him it would be safe, and that scared Bruce most of all.

And Jason had to acknowledge that Bruce wasn’t entirely wrong. He probably would have run if Batman hadn’t been checking up on him, at least in the beginning. Because Bruce didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t like any of the other adults Jason knew. His body wouldn’t calm down even if he knew he was safe, and he probably would have run from that feeling.

Most importantly, Bruce apologizes. For keeping secrets and also for getting shot in front of him in a “sorry you had to see that” sort of way.

And yeah, Jason could’ve done without watching the guy that’s almost his Dad get shot in front of him, but it wasn’t really anyone’s fault.

And Jason, like a dork, apologizes for crying on him and not being able to handle it.

That makes Bruce’s face do something complicated that Jason had a hard time reading.

Bruce tells him that it isn’t actually normal to not react to someone being shot in front of you. Especially for a child, crying is a very normal response and nothing to be ashamed of.

Jason comes to an odd realization that he isn’t the first kid to know Bruce’s identity. He remembers talk in the alley of Robin, the flashy distraction to Batman’s silent stalker approach.

He asks Bruce if Robin was Dick Grayson, his ward. The supposed “brother” he had yet to meet. He wasn’t sure what Bruce was waiting for there, but he supposed if the man wasn’t even sure if Jason actually wanted to stay that it would be fair that he was cautious about introducing him to everyone.

Bruce’s face shuts down almost entirely at the mention of Dick. He seems to catch himself pretty quick though and picks a spot over Jason’s shoulder as he starts to explain the last time he talked to Dick outside of mask business. How scared he had been his- his ward would be hurt. How he’d fired him from being Robin. How he’d gone off to Bludhaven to be Nightwing. That Bruce hadn’t seen him since he left.

Jason takes in as much of it as he can. He can’t quite process what it would mean to be a vigilante, to be Robin. He still feels dazed from yesterday and the environment of the cave is strange and foreign.

He asks what the plans for the day are and Bruce huffs. Says that he’s on strict orders from Alfred for bed rest. That there will be conversations, a debrief, about what had happened, but that can wait a few days. They will also have to talk about formalizing Jason’s living situation here and registering him for school. All sorts of things, if Jason would like to stay.

And Jason does.

Later, Alfred comes in to re-wrap Bruce’s bandages and move him upstairs. Jason hovers awkwardly, wanting to help but not knowing what to do. Alfred gently directs him in helping get Bruce back to the living room. He says they can move him to his bedroom later but it’ll be easier on his mobility if he stays on the first floor for a while.

Alfred also informs them he had taken the liberty to inform Dick, Barbara, and Clark of the incident, so there will be patrol while Bruce’s shoulder is healing. Bruce goes rigid at this information.

Alfred asks if Jason will accompany him to the kitchen and help carry out their lunch.

When they’re alone, Alfred apologizes for keeping their identities from Jason, and how happy he is the boy is safe. He’d been so concerned yesterday at the car but hadn’t had time to do more than bug the vehicle.

They talk for a bit about identities and Jason accepts that it was kept from him, but now that he knows, he’ll stay in the loop.

Alfred also asks if he wouldn’t mind helping keep an eye on Bruce and make sure he doesn’t try and sneak back down to the cave without medical clearance. If he’d be alright to watch a movie in the living room with him, or a board game maybe.

Jason recognizes the ploy for what it is and plays along, grateful he doesn’t have to go worry by himself in his room or in the library.

When they bring the food out to the living room, Alfred shows Jason their selection of movies and makes sure they’re settled in before going off to take care of dishes.

Jason and Bruce start out sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but by the end of the second movie, Jason is stretched out in a way where they’re almost touching, a pile of pillows separating them.

Jason falls asleep during the third movie.

Dick arrives at the manor halfway through the fourth.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 (sold separately)

[egophiliac]

A-anime?

you know, sometimes I forget that Twst is actually an isekai that starts with the protagonist getting run over by an inexplicable horse-drawn carriage. and every time I'm reminded is a delight because that's AMAZING.

also. look. okay. there's a lot of very fun stuff in the trailer but I am obsessed with that Crowley surprised pikachu face. me when I spend all my keys and gems literally hours before they announce overblot SSRs and drop the anime trailer:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.