#7. Chronic Pain Management

[youngchronicpain]

Update on the new pill case! I bought two more so that I can fill three weeks at a time. I love that I can take the day's meds out and bring them with me in my purse. I still have my little magnetic case that I have for my as-needed meds. But this has made my routine so much easier!

[1ncandescentrage]

I'm happy that my chronic pain and I have been living more in harmony as of late

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

Went to a different pharmacist for my vitamin D3 supplements because I was short on time but still value my bone density. They only had the gel caps from the slightly more expensive brand, and they took ages to find. I vaguely remembered not liking them, but couldn't recall why. Well, I didn't have to divide them and I'd survived taking them last time, so fuck it, gel cap me up.

As I was paying, the second pharmacist comes out laughing and shows she also found them as gummies. Gummy vitamins aren't a thing here, and they didn't remember why they got ordered. I shrug and say probably someone who struggles to swallow pills.

Do I want them instead of my gel caps?

I eyed the massive jar of gummies, remembered my overflowing desk and politely declined.

To get to the point:

The Vigantolvit gel caps are a fucking pain to get out of their deep and tiny blister packs. Literally. They cut under your fingernails if you try and press them out without pre-piercing the overly sturdy foil on the other end. They roll. Everywhere. Off the table, on the table into partitions of your medibox that you definitely didn't place it in. And they're smaller than mini m&ms, which, yeah, sure, make them easy to swallow, but which also means they're nigh impossible to pick up if your fine motor skills are not fully online for the day.

Tl;dr: I should have taken the fucking vitamin gummies.

[moonstruckme]

Thawing Out

summary: You and Sirius are in dire need of a new coach just weeks before the Olympics. Remus is a former figure skating prodigy forced to retire after a career-ending injury. Though it's not smooth skating right away, those stiff Olympic village beds are dying to be broken in.

collab with @ellecdc

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16

cw: modern au, chronic pain

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words

Remus still wakes before dark every morning. It’s automatic, an urgency and excitement that thrums through him like an old instinct, born from years of his alarm clock rousing him at this time. The rink is always at its best right now, when they’ve just finished resurfacing the ice and no one else is around. It was Remus’ favorite time to practice. 

Now, he has a new reason to get up. His hip clicks as he does it, so he starts his day with a couple of proactive painkillers. If he really wanted to be proactive he would stretch like he’s supposed to, but there’s no time and Remus doesn’t feel like it. He’ll pay his toll for the negligence later. 

The webpage of his Airbnb boasted a five-minute walk to the rink, but with his hip it takes Remus seven. It’s like an odd sort of muscle memory, an old routine from another life that feels as bitter as it does comfortable. He heads out early to give himself some cushion. The streets are empty but for bakers and baristas, the first hints of dawn tinging the sky a deep blue. When he turns a corner and the rink comes into view, the absence of his bag hanging from his shoulder is a phantom ache. 

The front doors are locked but the side one staff uses isn’t, the Zamboni driver already inside. Remus lets himself in, makes a cup of tea from the hot water dispenser they leave out when concessions are closed, plants himself on a bench, and waits. 

And waits. 

And waits. 

Remus has nearly nodded off when two pairs of shoes come bounding up to him. Well, one pair bounds. The other drags. 

“Hi, sorry we’re late.” You’re breathless and hauling a sullen-looking boy along behind you by the hand, but you manage a smile when Remus looks up at you. “I had to run over and get him out of bed. It’s good to meet you!”

You hold out your untethered hand. Remus might normally stand to take it, but he no longer feels like doing you the courtesy. Your grip is firm and warm. 

“You were supposed to be here at six,” he says. 

You wince. “I know. Sorry, Sirius is really not a morning person.” 

Remus thinks that he might put more stock into your apologies if you looked a tad more contrite. As it is, your countenance is almost cheery, a fizzy eagerness about you as you look between him and the ice like you can’t wait to get out on it. 

In stark contrast, the ill-tempered boy behind you seems not to have a clue where he is. He looks rumpled and disoriented, squinting in the rink’s fluorescent light. 

“Then why didn’t you pick another time?” Remus asks. 

He hadn’t realized he was still looking at Sirius, or that the other boy could talk, so it’s a surprise when he answers. “Wasn’t my bloody idea.” 

By the way you grin, Remus wonders if you’ve even heard the obvious bitterness in your partner’s tone, or whether it’s gone straight over your head. 

“I like the rink better early,” you explain. “No one else ever comes before the hockey practice starts at nine, and they’ll have just finished resurfacing the ice.” 

Begrudgingly, Remus nods. “I always preferred it about now, too.” 

He realizes immediately that his agreement was a mistake, because your smile grows into something far too brilliant for the early hour. Christ, what has he gotten himself into? There’s you, starry-eyed and effervescing all over the place, and your partner, who looks more inclined to fall asleep on your shoulder than put on his skates. 

And this is the pair skating duo Remus is supposed to take to the Olympics. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Watch that back foot!” Remus shouts across the ice.

Sirius doesn’t look happy about it, but he corrects the placement of his skate, transitioning smoothly into the next synced turn. 

“Good,” Remus murmurs to himself. 

Once Sirius got out on the ice and woke up a bit, he was good. He skates with the technical proficiency of someone who’s been in the sport since before they started primary school, and the intuitive artistry of someone who loves it. You’re much the same, though your virtuosity and obvious competence are consistently undercut by hesitation, the grace of your movements interrupted when you second-guess yourself. But these—technical prowess paired with devotion—are the basics of what makes a good figure skater. You’ll have to be flawless if you want to do well at the Olympics. 

And Remus has found many flaws. 

“No, no—shit!” Remus stands as you fall out of your jump again, catching yourself on your forearms. “You’re still under-rotating! Come on!” 

Sirius snarls a quick “Hey!” over his shoulder before turning his back on Remus, going to help you up. He speaks to you quietly, checking you over as you stand. Remus seethes. 

He has no clue why he’s been called out here to coach a pair. Remus doesn’t know pairs, has never been a part of one. He was a solo skater. And frankly, it makes him wary that what’s supposed to be the best skating pair in Britain has asked him, a former solo skater who’s been isolated from the figure skating community in general for the past two years, to coach them. But Remus does know figure skating. And he knows when skaters are making stupid mistakes behind their skill level. 

“What aren’t you understanding?” asks Remus as you skate back to the edge of the rink. He really wants to know. “It’s simple. You can do this.” He knows he could have. As easy as breathing, and he would kill to have the chance again. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” 

Sirius’ glare is sharp as knives. He steps off the ice before you can, positioning himself between you and Remus. Your lips purse with a knowing sort of apprehension. 

“Sirius…” 

“No, you don’t talk to her like that,” Sirius spits. “It was a tiny mistake.” 

Remus raises his eyebrows, incredulous. “I’m trying to help her! It was a giant mistake, with a simple fix. You ought to be telling her the same, unless you’re okay with your partner snapping her ankle weeks out from competition.” 

“None of that means you get to fucking yell at her! Who do you think you are?” 

“Okay—” 

“I’m her coach,” says Remus, voice rising, “and—”

“Then coach her! Maybe if you’d give some actual fucking feedback instead of just nitpicking—” 

“Okay!” Your shout cuts through the space, echoing in the empty rink and silencing the other two. “That’s enough.” 

You haul Sirius back by his shoulder. Your grip doesn’t look severe enough to move him, but he goes, stepping back to your side. His eyes never leave Remus’. 

Your own gaze jumps between both boys, that same spark he’d seen in you earlier burning with a different light. 

“Let’s call it for today,” you say firmly. “Okay? We’ll try again tomorrow.” 

Neither boy speaks, though Remus nods. It seems to be taking all of Sirius’ willpower to bite his tongue. He gets the impression it isn’t something he succeeds at often, so Remus isn’t ashamed to say that it brings him a perverse sort of joy to see it now. His tiny bit of smugness fizzles out, though, when your eyes land on him. There’s something desolate in your expression that’s a salient deviation from how you’d looked at him before. Remus has the sinking feeling that he’s disappointed you. It’s more distressing than he can account for. 

“We’ll be here on time tomorrow,” you say in that same steady tone. “And my jump, I’ll work on it.” 

Remus nods again. You return it, and when you turn to leave, you drag Sirius after you by his shirtsleeve, picking up your bags along your way. Remus’ mouth feels dry. His lips are chapped, his fingertips hurt from the cold, and the sight of your skates sinking into the rubbery floor makes his hip ache terribly. 

It’s only once you’re nearly out of earshot that he manages to mumble, “Thank you.”

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Me: ima give my wrist a break

Me, five minutes later: mwehehehehe chronic sonic…

1. I had the urge to draw an older design for Tails and here we are, Sonic with chronic pain. Tails gloves probably have tasers in there.

2. I imagine after a very dramatic spiral Sonic would eventually admit some things are a little off and Tails would make him some mobility aids, some things to help with joint pain, headaches and something to monitor his heart and help regulate the overabundance of chaos energy in his body.

3. Tails scratched out the “manageable, severe” labels because Sonic kept arguing that 7 was not “unmanageable” and he could handle it so it was more of a 2 when his pain was a 9. They focus on the descriptions now.

[unmarred pain scale under cut]

[thetireddoktor]

50 Questions about the Bishops

Note: You can specify which bishop you’re asking about, you don’t have to write for all four unless you choose to!

1 Were the Bishops born into their roles, or did their crowns choose them, or did they stumble upon them?

2 Which sibling was the most protective growing up?

3 Did any of them have childhood nicknames? If so, what were they?

4 How did they discover their domains (Chaos, Famine, Pestilence, War)?

5 Which Bishop adapted easiest to their role? Who struggled the most?

6 Do your Bishops have unique physical features (scales, scars, patterns, markings) that reflect their domains?

7 How tall are your Bishops compared to one another?

8 What are their signature weapons or magical abilities?

9 Describe one or all of the Bishop's unique traits.

10 How do they each maintain or decorate their crowns?

11 What’s each Bishop’s favorite food?

12 Do any of the Bishops have unusual habits or quirks?

13 Who among them is the most affectionate? Who struggles with showing affection?

14 Do they have any pets or companions within their temples?

15 How do they each feel about music or art?

16 Which sibling relationship is the strongest? Which is the most complicated?

17 Did any of the Bishops have close relationships or friendships outside their immediate family?

18 How does each Bishop handle conflict or arguments with their siblings?

19 Have any Bishops taken romantic partners? If so, describe them.

20 Are any of the Bishops especially good with children?

21 Describe the interior design of one of (Or all) the Bishop’s temples.

22 How do each of them recruit followers?

23 Which Bishop is strictest with their followers, and which is the most lenient?

24 What rituals or traditions are unique to each Bishop’s cult?

25 How involved is each Bishop in their followers' daily lives?

26 What does each Bishop secretly fear?

27 Do any of them have recurring dreams or nightmares?

28 Have any of the Bishops ever questioned their purpose?

29 Which Bishop has the hardest time controlling their domain’s darker impulses?

30 Do any of them regret their part in imprisoning Narinder?

31 How did each Bishop initially react when Narinder's rebellion began?

32 Do the Bishops feel justified in imprisoning Narinder?

33 Does any Bishop secretly wish the prophecy of rebellion had turned out differently?

34 How does each Bishop view the concept of fate versus free will?

35 Which Bishop most resents their role or responsibilities?

36 Do the Bishops experience chronic pain or lasting injuries from the fight with Narinder? (Excluding the loss of Ears, eyes, throat and skull)

37 How do they manage their physical or psychological injuries?

38 Have any Bishops developed unique coping mechanisms for stress or trauma?

39 Do they ever rely on each other for emotional or medical support?

40 Which Bishop would hide an illness or injury out of pride?

41 If the Bishops had a hobby unrelated to their duties, what would it be?

42 Which sibling would most likely keep a diary or personal journal?

43 Do any of them have a sweet tooth? Favorite desserts?

44 How does each of the Bishops handle being teased or joked with?

45 Are any Bishops secretly sentimental or nostalgic?

46 How would each Bishop react if they were spared and brought into a new cult?

47 Do any of the Bishops long for forgiveness from Narinder, or do they expect his forgiveness? Do they even want it?

48 As Followers, how do they cope without their crowns?

49 Who out of the four Bishops would adapt most easily to life among mortals if they lost their divine powers?

50 Free headcanon space!

[simdertalia]

✨🤘 Band Merch Set 🤘✨

Sims 4, base game compatible | 24 items 💗

This set is brought to you by the lovely patrons who voted in this month's poll, I hope you enjoy! 💗

Always suggested: bb.objects ON, it makes placing items much easier. For further placement tweaking, check out the TOOL mod.

Use the 0-9 keys to raise or lower items to your liking. This & bb.moveobjects are needed for placing the objects that go "on" the display separator. Raise them to desired height, hold down alt and move them right into place accurately, wherever you want!

Use the scale up & down feature on your keyboard to make the items larger or smaller to your liking. If you have a non-US keyboard, it may be different keys depending on which alphabet it uses.

Download below, all in a zip file or pick & choose!

Set contains: -Alien Mask Wall Decor | 12 swatches | 76 poly -Alien Orchid | 28 swatches | 360 poly -Alien Plushie | 5 swatches | 212 poly -Box Closed (2 items: 1 with slot and one without so they can be stacked) | 1 swatch each | 164 poly each -Box Rolled Posters | 1 swatch | 459 poly -Box Shirts Open 1 | 16 swatches | 792 poly -Box Shirts Open 2 (less shirts) | 16 swatches | 672 poly -Box Shirts Open 3 (with plushie) | 80 swatches | 882 poly -Folded Shirts 1 | 16 swatches | 202 poly -Folded Shirts 2 | 16 swatches | 162 poly -Folded Shirts 3 | 16 swatches | 122 poly -Folded Shirts Single | 16 swatches | 82 poly -Hanging Shirts Display (This item is a clutter object, will line up with wall. Use 0-9 keys to raise and lower) | 10 swatches | 792 poly -Money Box | 7 swatches | 226 poly -Money Box Open | 7 swatches | 553 poly -Patches Buttons Display | 3 swatches | 380 poly -Patches Buttons Wall Display (This item is a clutter object, will line up with wall. Use 0-9 keys to raise and lower) | 7 swatches | 106 poly -Pinback Buttons | 1 swatch | 3639 poly -Separator Display Wall | 11 swatches | 1410 poly -Shelf | 6 swatches | 556 poly -Table | 8 swatches | 558 poly -Table Awning | 8 swatches for frame, and additional swatches without the garland. 16 total swatches | 1576 poly -Vinyl Crate | 2 crate colors, 2 record covers, 4 total swatches | 112 poly

Type “band merch" into the search query in build mode to find  quickly. You can always find items like this, just begin typing  the title and it will appear.

As always, please let me know if you have any issues! Happy Simming! 💗

📁 SimFileShare (no ads): HERE

📁 Alt Mega Download (still no ads): HERE

🌻 Download on Patreon

Will be public on June 7th 1st, 2025 💗 Midnight CET This has been changed for Edgewave being on for this year

Happy Simming! ✨ Some of my CC is early access. If you like my work, please consider supporting me (all support helps me with managing my chronic pain/illness & things have been rough for awhile now):

★ Patreon  🎉 ❤️ |★ Ko-Fi  ☕️  ❤️ ★ Instagram📷

Thank you for reblogging ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@sssvitlanz  @maxismatchccworld @mmoutfitters  @coffee-cc-finds  @itsjessicaccfinds  @gamommypeach  @stargazer-sims-finds  @khelga68  @suricringe  @vaporwavesims  @mystictrance15 @moonglitchccfinds @xlost-in-wonderlandx @jbthedisabledvet @fischottersims

The rest of my CC

[elysiuminfra]

i want to talk about walmart for a second. if you haven’t worked or known someone who worked for walmart, you probably don’t know how bad it is. most people don’t, so i want to talk about it.

there’s a points system for absences. if you miss work, and can’t cover it with accrued time off (because you don’t just Get time off - it builds up over time. it takes about a month of straight work to get a day off.) you get a point. five points and you’re at risk of termination. all managers - team leads, and above them, coaches - have the power to excuse points so that you don’t get fired. some do, so you don’t lose your job. most don’t. five days, that’s it.

if you miss more than three shifts of work due to a medical issue, you have to go through a third party company (which isn’t really third party.) to get a medical exception so you don’t lose your job. it is hard to get this. they need a lot of documentation to prove that you somehow deserved to miss work. they don’t accept regular doctors notes. this is somehow nebulously legal. you are also forced to work while sick and infectious. flu, strep, covid, doesnt matter for all departments except produce and deli. even then, they only send you home if you throw up *at work* or have food-related illnesses. every other department you’re not allowed to go home. more than likely you are being exposed to someone who’s sick at walmart, because its either come in sick or get fired.

i work hard. everyone *has* to work hard. you are on your feet 8 hours a day. you can’t sit. there are no surfaces to sit on. some departments are harder than others. i worked in OPD, the online grocery fulfillment department. i would walk, bare minimum, 7 to 8 miles a day, hauling sometimes over 200 pounds of groceries. every day. now i work in the deli. you are constantly moving. this is very typical for the deli - you are given too many tasks to perform in one day. most days i can barely get enough done. i know people don’t take their legally entitled second breaks. I know people who have to work off the clock just to get everything done. my department - as is *most other departments* - is understaffed. i cook, clean, work the slicer, and dispense food at the same time. and trust me when i tell you the standards of cleanliness in my department is high, but in practice it is very, very poor. simply because there is usually only one of us working back there, and we just can’t do everything right all at once.

none of the “fresh” food in the bakery / produce area is fresh. the bread is baked in store, but the dough is made and frozen elsewhere. sometimes it’s been frozen for weeks. everything is shockingly artificial. same with produce. you’re better off buying your produce elsewhere, or even locally. walmart has been fraught with recall after recall.

people are cheated out of retirements. so many people I know that are at retirement age simply can’t. there are people working here in their 70s. they are being overworked. there are a lot of teenagers that work up front. they are being overworked. I know two kids who are disabled that work the register. they aren’t allowed to sit. one had to fight to be able to get a medical accommodation and only got one when he threatened to sue, because not taking a doctor’s note for an accommodation is illegal. they do it anyways. there are so many people i know personally that are disabled, have chronic pain, have mobility issues, and can’t sit. or walk miles and miles a day. one of my coworkers recently quit because she tore both rotator cuffs in her shoulders from this job. this job disables you. it kills you. (just look up how many people have died on the job due to negligence. it is not a small amount.)

even the prices are fake. sales are fake. rollback is fake. i notice how things are priced and they rarely change, even when they say they’re on sale. it’s a scam. you are being scammed.

we are overworked and underpaid for our labor. (speaking of, wages used to be higher by several dollars a couple years ago. they lowered them. my department paid 20 an hour. it only pays 16 now. almost all other departments are at a flat 14. it used to be 16.)

wage theft, lack of breaks, overtime violations, lack of sick leave, chronic understaffing and chronic abuse from management, not terminating employees that sexually harass coworkers, and piles and piles and piles of responsibilities. all of this is to say, walmart only operates because of how much they exploit their workers, and it’s in the top of the Fortune 500 list. it is impossibly dire. and it is in EVERY SINGLE store, because that is just how the work culture operates.

all salaried management is also given guides on union busting. unionization is impossible. there was one store that they completely shut down because of successful unionization efforts, laying off hundreds of people, and blamed it on “faulty plumbing.”

one last thing - if you are assaulted by a customer, you cannot defend yourself. nobody can help you, because none of us are allowed to put our hands in any capacity on a customer. if you are assaulted, you have no choice but to run and hide. I’ve heard of a worker at my store that was assaulted repeatedly over several days from people who would come in and beat her. they weren’t banned, and she was fired for fighting back. if you fight back, you’re fired immediately, no exceptions.

all of this is to say shop elsewhere. buy locally. buy at other stores. you will get better quality items and produce literally ANYWHERE else. if you can’t, be kind to Walmart workers. theres abuse at every step of the chain. even on the supply side. walmart is a corporate dystopian monster that only makes its money off of intense labor violations.

tl;dr don’t shop at walmart. it’s not worth it

[smallsinger5901]

rating how high i think death note character’s pain tolerance is

this is very random but i realised i have strong opinions on this. So:

Light- 3/10. I cannot see him as having a high pain tolerance im sorry but he presents himself all godly and YET he would still fold if given a single paper cut

L- 9/10. Conversely, I think L is the kind of person who has absolutely no reaction to any kind of pain unless he’s literally getting mashed into a fine pulp

Mello- 7/10. He had a fairly high threshold for pain before the explosion just by virtue of building it up over years, but afterwards anything touching his scarred areas feels like hell incarnate. And he Hates that.

Near- 6/10. As a chronic pain Near believer i think he knows his limit and generally has a fairly high baseline of pain and knows what to avoid to stop it flaring up, but when it get really bad does he still has to recover for a bit

Misa- 10/10. Girl didnt even think about confessing under literal torture. She has the kind of strength that makes everyone a little scared once they realise she isnt flinching

Matt- 5/10. He’s good at managing to avoid pain but that one time he cracked his neck a weird way from whipping his car around he complained about it for like a month

Matsuda- 4/10. He is NOT good with pain and everyone teases him for it. Even Light, who will never admit that he would have had a wayyyy worse reaction

[in-sufficientdata]

This can be a huge source of medical trauma and it's so cruel that it's being imposed on people by the medical establishment itself. How can they help but feel anything but helpless? There's no fighting that.

I can't help but think of this from my own perspective as a fibromyalgia patient who keeps having to fight being thought of as (or even being labeled as) drug-seeking.

I am literally just trying to live life closer to the standard that 'normal' people have every day.

Why is it in any way fair that most people are mostly pain-free and capable of doing the things they want to do, but I have to suffer with pain on a daily basis that is at minimum, on a very rare, very good day, at level 5?

Why is it when I report that my pain level is at level 7, 8, 9, I only get doctors side-eyeing me and explaining my OTC options?

I have had chronic pain since I was 8. I'm very fucking aware of my OTC options, so no thank you, doc.

And when I spend 20 minutes explaining in detail that my daily pain has noticeably increased and changed in quality since around January 1st, why should I have my PCP giggle at me every time I say that I need help with managing my pain and learning ways to deal with it?

It felt incredibly invalidating and I wish he would have said, look, I don't have the expertise to help you, so here's a referral to a pain specialist.

I only found out there was a such thing by trying to research the topic after this on my own!

So yeah, it's not just the insurance companies, it's the doctors, too.

It's almost like having a profit-motivated medical establishment hurts patients.

[cassofnowhere]

Frank’s physical and emotional state in DD: Born Again

Occasionally I’ve seen people express confusion at Frank’s…general state in Born Again. He does seem unkept, unhappy, in a worse mood than usual and oddly detached from everything else.

The shock was apparently so big, people started theorizing SOMETHING must’ve happened to Frank. And I’m here wondering what people expected to find, exactly.

I mean, if you watched The Punisher season 2 you will know Frank embraced the vigilante life by the end of that season. You would also remember he ended up the show pretty much alone. He pushed Karen away in a very definitive manner, Curtis, if I remember correctly, was very done with his bullshit by that point and didn’t want any more contact with Frank, he sent Amy away to Florida and seemed like didn’t plan to meet her ever again. The only person he seems to be in contact with is Madani, but she was in the Middle East and he also shut down any relationship there when he refused her offer for a job at the CIA (because “he already has a job”).

So, what we are seeing in Born Again is Frank being The Punisher. It’s a guy who shut down every single relationship he ever had and it’s only focused on the mission 24/7. The only thing he does, day in and day out, is look for the next scumbag to kill, the next gang to gun down, the next mafia to disperse. He gets beaten up, goes home, stitches himself and does the same thing all over again the next day. He’s been doing this for years.

And I’m sure, at some point, he realized what he’s doing is pointless, because no matter how many criminals and bad people he puts to the ground, new ones take their place faster than he can kill them. So, all he has to hope for is to keep at it, until he eventually dies. Except he doesn’t die. Almost 10 years and he’s still at it, and not a single thing has changed. Fisk is freaking mayor of New York City, for gods sake.

What we are seeing is a man who has become hopeless and detached, because he has nothing to look for in his life, except death. So…..no shit he is moodier than usual.

I get that this is not a common arc for The Punisher in the comics (if it was ever portrayed), but I think it’s a very interesting thing to explore in the MCU version. I do think it’s in line with what the OG show might’ve explored if it ever got a third season.

Season 2 ended with Frank reaching the conclusion The Punisher was his destiny. There was no happy ending for him, his calling was to kill criminals no matter the cost. And that was actually a very tragic conclusion for Frank to reach, effectively shutting down any opportunity at recovery he could get. He didn’t find fulfillment living as Just Frank (A.K.A Pete Castiglione), so he would find it with The Punisher….except, spoiler alert: he doesn’t! He’s still as unhappy and miserable as he was before. Turns out, giving in to your worst impulses doesn’t improve your life.

I think the point of the mysterious pills we see him take in Born Again, is supposed to be a physical manifestation of Frank’s weariness. That there is a downside to living like The Punisher, and aside from the emotional isolation, he is physically weaker. And again, I know there’s a bunch of comics of an older Frank, and even though he is older, he is somehow as strong and agile as he was when he was younger, and while it’s a valid depiction of an older Frank, it’s probably not a realistic one. Like, the man doesn’t eat well, doesn’t sleep well, he gets punched, stabbed and shot at an alarming frequency and he doesn’t get any breaks. That’s not the lifestyle that creates a healthy and active 60yo. On the contrary, actually. Now, he might have chronic pain he needs to manage with medication, just to function. And I like that. After all, Frank is only human. To show him grappling with all the ways his body can fail him is very compelling storytelling in my opinion.

I mean, I don’t know what they are cooking with Frank, but if I’m right, I am very interested in what they might show in the future with him.

TL;DR: the reason Frank is….LIKE THAT in Born Again is not because of any singular traumatic event, it’s simply the downside of the life he chose as The Punisher. A lonely, violent life that finally is claiming his toll on him. So yeah, he is moody and detached and doesn’t care about much other than his next target.

[x-lee-cya]

okay ik that the fandom LOVES making logan the one who’s the cat-like mutant in the relationship and i LOVE that and it is so canon but like

hear me out here! catboy!! wade!!

a wade who was a mutant long before francis got his grubby little hands in him, wade who was a mutant but it wasnt crazy regenerative abilities or an inability to stay dead/immortality or super-human strength, but a wade who was (still is) a mutant who had the abilities of a fuckin’ cat

a wade who has semi-night vision, not entirely but good enough to help out on jobs; a wade who has lil pinprick pupils like a cat’s and who hisses damn near 24/7 on bad pain days (bc chronic pain-having wade has my entire heart and i will go to the grave w this hc alr); a wade who purrs when happy or in the middle of slicing someone’s head off during a job; a wade who has a cat’s heightened senses- hearing, sight, taste, smell, all of that; a wade who has a cat’s un-fuckin’-canny ability to jump from heights that would’ve killed a human and have at most a small, gone-in-a-day bruise; a wade who has tufts of kitty-cat fur on his elbows and on + behind his knees

and then francis comes along, and the torture happens, and he loses his looks, and then the fur grows back bc fuck but he’d thought he’d lost his og mutation when francis torture mcgee had triggered this new one, had lost the one thing that ness might still recognise him for,,,

and then the start of d&w happens, and during the birthday scene wade’s purring, happy, quietly (so quietly no one hears it half the time, and when they do they assume it’s the faulty heating of wade & al’s shitass apartment, but ness looks at him with a pleased, proud little smile when the sound starts back up after the others’ initial investigation for the source of the sound proves fruitless and it, he gets louder, purely for the way ness’s smile gets wider, prouder in a way that is purely, unabashedly so ness wade wants to go other and kiss her, right then n there) yes but he’s still purring like he hasn’t since pre-cancer-diagnosis him & ness (and also bc francis’s little angel-killer had found the sound annoying as all hell [bc wade also purrs to self-soothe bc I Say So)and so he’d rarely done so since, half out of new-born habit, half out of some primal, hard-learned fear he still hasn’t managed to completely shake, even years later)

and then the honda odyssey scene happens, and wade’s purring, purring, purring, loud and proud and rumbling and happy and he’s also hissing playfully at logan- a motion logan doesn’t notice due to how distracted he is putting his claws thru wade’s left thigh and christ, kittycat, how long’s it been since you had a good hookup for you to be THIS tense?- and logan only notices after wade’s pinned him and his minorly blood-soaked grin freezes; doesn’t drop, but freezes.

wade’s purr stutters a tad, doesn’t stop. he asks, licking the blood off of his cheek underneath his mask and for some reason logan’s sharp eyes follow what he can see of the movement underneath wade’s mask: what’s wrong, peanut, cat got your tongue?

are you- are you fuckin’ purring? asks logan, and the sound abruptly stops, and then deadpool’s stabbing him through the gut with not one word and then they’re fighting again, and while logan notes the moment to think about later, wade also doesn’t say another word other then excited/frustrated grunts and little “haha!”s for the next half hour, and for some reason that about takes up the majority of logan’s attention until he finally, finally, punches wade’s already-broken nose literally not even a millisecond after he’s broken it hard enough that it actually takes a few seconds for wade’s healing to kick in, and for some reason he feels strangely relived when wade lets out a muffled-by-blood ugh! foulplay, wolvie, foulpla-

logan interrupts him via stabbing wade and a like you don’t play just as foul as i do, bub, and wade stabs back in response with some quippy comment or another, and by then the fight’s back on, deadpool-typical quips and all.

like. when i say catboy wade, here, do you see my vision. do you see what i’m imagining. dO YOU SEE IT I SAY

[moonstruckme]

Thawing Out

This is the end guys :')

collab with @ellecdc

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16

cw: modern au, chronic pain, one vague suggestive joke

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Remus woke before dark this morning. Your hair tickled his cheek, and he realized that you’d drawn closer to him in the night, your body half on top of his and his arm curled around your shoulders as though to keep you there. Remus’ other arm was asleep, trapped beneath Sirius’ ribs. Somehow, on a twin bed, the three of you had managed to get close enough that there was room to spare. 

He didn’t move, but something about Remus’ waking must have caught your attention. He saw your eyes open through the darkness. You’d likely already been rousing, as he had, your body gearing up for a practice that wouldn’t be taking place today. You turned your face up to see him, and the two of you shared a fond, sleepy smile. Then you kissed his chin and went back to sleep. 

It had been a late night. Not the bad kind, but it left you all tired nonetheless. After a long day of talking to press, shaking hands, and celebrating your silver medal (not gold, but Remus reasoned that it wasn’t such a bad thing to lose to the undisputed best skating duo in a generation, and after some pouting even Sirius had agreed. When you stood next to Virtue and Moir on the podium, you’d looked so starstruck Remus was worried you’d faint) you’d been eager to be alone with each other. You’d talked until nearly morning, tenderhearted conversations that perhaps might have taken less time if you’d all been less easily distracted by each other or if Sirius hadn’t made that joke about his parents that made you fall off the bed laughing. Remus can’t bring himself to regret the detours. 

Neither of you seem to either, though Sirius laughs when you yawn in line to drop off your baggage at the airport.

“What is that, five yawns since we’ve left?” he teases, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and smushing a kiss to your cheek. “Poor girl.” 

“Shut up,” you mumble, leaning into his side. “I’m not used to being up all night like you are.” 

“Well, you’d better get used to it, baby.” 

Your brow wrinkles. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

Remus laughs, giving Sirius a little shove. Sirius responds by bumping his hip into his own suitcase, forcing Remus to readjust his grip. You shoot Sirius a condemning look. 

In the spirit of good coaching, Remus had volunteered to carry your bags. He’d been more concerned with getting you and Sirius into bed over the last few days than ensuring you were properly stretched out, so when you’d both complained of soreness this morning he felt the need to make it up. You had completely refused and said you’d carry your own, but Sirius had relinquished his hulking suitcase readily; he did, however, insist upon massaging and kissing Remus’ hip for twenty minutes before they left for the airport to prepare it for the journey. 

“Don’t worry,” Remus tells you. “You’ll have plenty of time to sleep in after today.” 

You blink. “No practice?” 

“I think you deserve a couple of days off.” 

“A couple?” Sirius raises an eyebrow. “We just won silver at the Olympics. I’d say we’re due a week at least.” 

Remus eyes him, biting back a smile. “Maybe four days,” he says. 

“God, four days.” You blow out a breath. “What are we gonna do with all that time?” 

Sirius makes a pffting sound. “Like you won’t be at the rink anyway.” 

“Like you won’t be there, too.” 

“Take some actual rest,” Remus chides, ignoring the ridiculous warmth in his chest; it’s obscene how listening to your teasing has become such a comforting familiarity. “You’ve been working hard, you need it.” 

“Alright, Coach,” Sirius says with mock solemnity. “If that’s what you think is best.” 

Remus looks at you. 

You roll your eyes, relenting. “Okay.” 

“Good.” He smiles, winding an arm around your waist and tugging you from Sirius’ hold to press a kiss to your head. 

“Hey!” Sirius protests. 

You laugh. The warmth in Remus’ chest flares again. It’s odd to think about the person he was when he left home to coach you two, and how much has changed since then. Remus had been grieving, a years-long grief, focused only on what he lost and uninterested in trying for anything new. He’d been lonely without knowing it, isolated and purposeless, but you and Sirius had defied his expectations in every way imaginable. He thought he’d simply coach you, take you to the Olympics, and go home. Now, Remus’ sense of home is different than what it was before. 

He wants to stay with you. He’ll coach you and Sirius for as long as you’ll have him, and if someday he’s not what you need anymore he’ll find someone else to coach. He thinks he’ll need to get an apartment instead of an Airbnb, someplace to unpack his things and make his own, preferably with three chairs at the kitchen table and a bed big enough for all of you. He wants to continue feeding off the energy of you and Sirius in your element, readying you for competitions, making you the best you can be. Maybe eventually Remus will get back out on the ice, too. Not like he used to, never to compete, but maybe just for fun. It doesn’t sound so daunting when he imagines skating with you and Sirius alongside him, there to catch him if he falls. 

You’re looking up at him with a small, curious smile. Remus realizes he must be looking mortifyingly in love. “What?” you ask. 

“Nothing.” He kisses you, partly because he wants to and partly to watch your smile bloom in full. It does, and Remus relishes the feeling. Like standing in a pool of sunlight. 

“Oi.” Sirius glares, relaxing only when Remus kisses him, too. He grins and takes another for himself, delivering a playful nibble to Remus’ lip. “That’s more like it.” 

“We’re going to give the woman at the counter a heart attack,” Remus notes. “She looks terribly confused.” 

“Probably just starstruck,” Sirius says without looking. 

“Oh, shit!” You smack your forehead. Remus and Sirius both frown, Sirius taking your hand in his to prevent further damage. “I was going to steal one of the Olympic mugs from the dining hall, and I forgot. I need to find a souvenir.” 

“Ooh, should we get shirts?” Sirius’ expression turns eager. “Something like I went to the Olympics and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.” 

Remus thinks of the silver medal in Sirius’ backpack and actually guffaws. Both you and Sirius beam at him. “I think you got a bit more than that.” 

You laugh and loop your free arm through Sirius’, drawing both boys close. “That’s true.” 

[fivveweeks]

twitter holds me back from writing essays but here are my list of Dante HCs and their reasonings:

1) I vaguely portray Dante with top/bottom surgery scars alongside their neck scars. Not because they're trans (trans Dante hcs are great btw) but it's more so to imply that either Limbus Company or their past self deliberately did the surgery to their body in order to keep their post-clock identity a secret. A second layer to the dehumanisation and loneliness Dante feels with regards to their current self. I'm keeping it vague on who made the decision for them because it adds to the mystery:

If Limbus Company management did this to them, it adds to the horror of capitalism and loss of bodily autonomy.

If pre-clock Dante chose to do this to themselves, it's intriguing as it implies that their past self does not care about such minor things such as gender as they pursue their goals. The end ultimately justifies the means.

I feel Dante is comfortable in their current skin however! The scars itches sometimes but it doesn't bother them much, though they do wonder where they come from.

2) Dante with androgynous, black skin as a side effect of the Golden Bough, or even the head replacement surgery. It is to also add to the dehumanisation and separation they feel after taking the bough into themselves. It doesn't hugely bothers them, but they sometimes subconsciously compare their appearance to the sinner's regular human appearances

3) Relating to the above, Dante prefers covering themselves up tightly with almost zero to no skin showing. I also like to think clothes are one of the ways they use to feel a sense of control over their identity, since they can style and experiment however they like.

4) Has severe chronic pain and incredible pain tolerance, due to the rewinds. They're pretty much used to it at this point and the level of which they can tolerate amounts to them not reacting when getting a hole punched out through their guts.

They wear gloves because they're very touch sensitive due to the chronic pain.

I also considered that they get seizures occasionally. Turns out the constant feeling of phantom pain stemming from fatal incidents WILL still fuck up your nervous system and brain.

5) Relating to Verdante - funny thing is that I don't actually see them having sex often. Not with Dante's chronic pain and workaholic tendencies vs Vergilius' undiagnosed depression, passive suicidal thoughts and his incredible guilt. They're both often than not exhausted and I like to think of them just napping together in bed.

6) I ping pong between Dante having intake holes on their clock so they can take in liquid via straws, or they go the more serious route of having a feeding port via enteral nutrition.

7) Workaholic, workaholic, workaholic. I very much enjoy portraying Dante giving their all into being the manager of Limbus Company Bus. Part of it is because it's the only identity they ever know post memory lost so they subconsciously cling to it, another part is that they just get dopamine from being productive. They can and WILL give you a 3 hours essay for every Mirror Dungeon team and strategy they cooked up

8) It's not concrete but I like portraying Dante as mostly greysexual (sex and romance isn't a priority or need to them, but they're not disgusted by the idea. It fascinates them somewhat) and sort of demisexual (they like people who respects their humanity and not just a mute object...)

They have a Competency Kink. They enjoy seeing people being confident and good at what they do.

Totally was not ogling at Vergilius when he wiped out the monsters in canto 6 like nothing. Heh.

9) Learning Sign language in their downtime to increase efficiency in communication, but they're still a beginner. Vergilius is way better in this over them but he indulges in their sloppy attempts with nothing but an amused sigh.

10) They wear their sleep cap as they can't turn off their fire, so at least it blocks out the light. Also wears socks to bed like to a loser. They have a collection of socks that they accidentally collected over the course of the cantos.

[chronicallycouchbound]

Dear community,

Sometime in March(ish) of 2024, on a sunny day and the snow on the ground melted between storms, I went for a long walk. I have trouble walking safely in all the snow and ice, and I can’t walk far without fainting in the heat, so I have a limited part of the year where I can comfortably go for walks, and even fewer days where my pain, fatigue, fainting, dislocations, and other symptoms are manageable to the point of being able to handle a walk. So when I walk, I make the most of it. I don’t mind needing to rest for a few days in bed afterwards if it means I get to be out in nature and feel the sun on my face. And this day in the late winter in New England was perfect for it. 

I got inside, now overheating from my layers and feeling dizzy, I laid on the ground – All normal for me after a walk. My hips were killing me, also normal for me. But this time, my lower back was aching deeply, which was a bit odd for me. I went and laid in bed and after a few hours the pain subsided. The next time I went for a walk it happened again. And again. I started using a heating pad for a little bit after my walks. 

But then my back started having pain while still walking, not just after. And the pain was more painful, not just an ache or soreness, it became deep twisting, stabbing pain. And then the pain started happening while I was just standing. I would have to rest for days after walking, laying flat on a hot pad. Twisting to the side, bending forward, shiting even slightly could trigger it. 

Soon it became just from sitting upright, even with my custom fancy wheelchair cushion. I started having shooting pain down my legs, losing feeling at times, tingling and zapping pain in them at others. A half hour of sitting in my chair, even with a hot pad, was far too much for me and meant days of recovery. I stopped being able to focus on TV shows and movies, I was slow to respond from dissociation, I couldn’t form thoughts outside of pain. 

After a couple months, no amount of laying flat (even with my hot pad genuinely on 24/7) reduced the pain at all. Every movement was excruciating, I could hardly sleep from the pain. I would spend hours every night just sobbing and trying not to wake my partner. I was constantly in pain. I would still try to go to events and have to leave early from my pain and couldn’t participate because of my pain. I had to leave my niece’s first birthday early because of it. No medications took the edge off, I can’t have cannabis, but sometimes alcohol helped. I saved it for special occasions. I couldn’t be conversational or even gentle, I could truly only manage short responses through clenched teeth. I missed just talking with people, watching a good show, playing a cozy game. I spent 23 hours a day horizontal on a hot pad, sometimes playing shows or music in the background. I hated every minute of my life, I stopped doing things I loved, things I needed to, things I wanted to. 

As someone who’s lived with chronic pain my entire life, and has dealt with many painful conditions (torn achilles multiple times, ruptured bursae, been stabbed, had my toenail surgically removed and chemically cauterized with no anesthesia, Traumatic Brain Injury and countless concussions, trigeminal neuralgia, dislocations and subluxations almost constantly in all my joints, I could keep listing, you get the idea), I accepted that this was just my life now. So many of my conditions have no treatments and no cures. I can’t have cannabis, opioids, TENS units, hot baths, and am completely resistant to local anesthetics, even more obscure treatments like capsaicin cream or a wide variety of herbal remedies. I’m intimately acquainted with pain. 

I saw my PCP and they did an MRI. At first, they said I had a tiny herniated disc at my L5/S1. Then they said I have an anatomical variation called lumbosacral transitional vertebra (LSTV) on the side opposite of the herniated disc. I was given NSAIDs (which did nothing) and referred to interventional pain management. My pain management team specializes in back pain, and they showed me the images of my spine and pointed to each issue and explained them, including some missed by the radiology department. They explained that I have L4 and L5 spondylolisthesis (same condition as Luigi Mangione, fun(?) fact), with my L5 being slid more out of place. I also have osteoarthritis/spondylosis of my entire lumbar spine. 

Pain management recommended a radiofrequency nerve ablation (RFA), but needed testing done first. They took long needles and put them directly into the sensory nerves in my spine in 6 locations, then injected them with a local anesthetic to block the nerves. It was 15 minutes of pure hell. I didn’t expect much to change from it. But after, for the first time in a year, for just a few hours, I had minimal pain. I made warbat, I teared up just sitting upright on the edge of my bed, smiling because I could do it. It felt like I came alive again. The diagnostic blocks had to be done twice for insurance, the second time I got less relief and I was nervous. Nerve ablations are a more serious intervention, and require having exhausted all prior solutions, but it’s where I was at.

The day finally came for my ablation. They were able to give me twilight anesthesia, I slept for hours and hours after. The first few days weren’t too bad, but then I was having some pain again and I was nervous it hadn't worked. The nerves can take a few weeks to heal, and sure enough, after about 3 weeks, my pain had significantly improved. 

It’s been about 6 weeks since my ablation, and I’m still learning my body’s limits again. I have been smiling with soreness in my feet at the end of the day, because I’ve been able to stand long enough to have foot pain before back pain. I’m able to be out of bed for PT sessions now. I’ve been walking again– something I’ve always loved to do for my mental health is go for long walks and sing with my full chest. I still have days and hours where I have to be in bed and resting. I’ve realized my cardiac conditions and symptoms are indeed still extremely present, I just haven't been physically able to do the things that aggravate them much till recently. I’ve been able to be more present in spaces. I’m able to practice more somatic exercises and be more in touch with my body (without dissociating or sobbing in pain). I’ve been able to focus on what people are saying and activities (as much as my ADHD allows). I’m able to notice other parts of my body do indeed hurt often. My back even when it hurts now is nowhere near a 10/10, and is manageable with 15 minutes on a hot pad (the recommended amount of time!)

The ablation isn’t a permanent fix, nerves heal, and most people need it repeated every 6 to 9 months, some much sooner, some years later. I’m crossing my fingers that my body’s perpetually and comically slow healing comes in clutch and my spinal nerves take their sweet time to do so. My medical team is still looking at my spinal issues and monitoring them as needed. 

The night before my ablation, Poe broke a glass vessel holding my lavender bundle that sat atop my kitchen cabinets and sent glass shards the size of glitter over almost my whole apartment’s hardwood floors. Specks were in my stovetop, counters, coated like snow over all the dirty and clean dishes. It took me hours to clean it, I was crying the whole time, taking breaks to just sob into the floor. I didn’t notice all the tiny cuts on my knees until the day after my ablation. That night I didn’t know how much longer I could do this, I genuinely couldn’t keep living at that pain level with no relief or breaks. 

I’m so grateful for my ablation, for having medical professionals who believed my pain, for my partner who literally carried me through these past couple years and has continuously cared for me gently, for my sister and friends who’ve taken care of me in a variety of ways, for my community always being understanding of my never ending flakiness and showing up for me even knowing I couldn’t do the same. I’m so excited to be here, to get back into things I love to do, to share it all with you all, to relearn my body’s needs and limits yet again, to always honor my pain in every form.  - L TLDR; My back was fucked, pain was crippling, got a procedure to manage pain, life is better now. still extremely disabled tho but vibin. Might be able to write more now!

[kookiedeadbutterflies]

Hannibal and the Mastery of Mindfulness (original post: 7/9/24)

Back when I was watching the C2E2 Hannibal panel, Mads said something pretty interesting that caught my attention.

He says Hannibal is one of the happiest characters he has ever played. He always does things that make him happy and probably walks with a skip in his step because of it. And what more, he’s a man who lives in the moment. That was until he met Will (we’ll get to that part a bit later…). And then it dawned on me that Hannibal has likely gotten away with all the murders he ever committed and managed to live the life he’s had for well over 30 years because he is a master of mindfulness.

Mindfulness in psychology is defined as the following:

Mindfulness is the cognitive skill, usually developed through meditation, of sustaining meta-attention of the contents of one's own mind in the present moment.

Mindfulness has roots in meditation, Hinduism and Buddhism, and is also researched and utilized in the Western world in clinical psychology to treat a variety of psychiatric disorders and even chronic pain. But overall, those who practice and master mindfulness know how to recognize and remain “in the moment”, thus suspending themselves in a state where they can manage the pain of the past and/or lessen their anxieties of the future to come. As a man who lives mostly and purely in the moment, I would say Hannibal is a master of this practice.

For the past 30+ years Hannibal has kept himself busy and has indulged in all things that make him happy. He cooks, exercises, studies and engages in the many arts, and most of all, kills and hunts. He’s always living in the moment and living in bliss in his hedonism. He is truly a master of mindfulness. But just because he’s a master doesn’t mean he’s immune to the changes in his life and environment or being traumatized/re-traumatized. And this is where Will comes in.

Will may have come in like a strong breeze into Hannibal’s life, but he soon became a massive storm that swept Hannibal off his feet. Because for the first time in his life, instead of thinking of the present, he began to think of having a future. The past can be rather painful for Hannibal, but the future is both a place of great anxiety and also a place of infinite hope and excitement. Yet it also became a place of multiple possible tragedies.

Throughout season 1, we’ve seen Hannibal try to adjust to Will’s deductions to cover his tracks, staying true to his practice of mindfulness. However, the more Will gets closer to the truth, we see panic set in, crumbling the peaceful mindset he’s learned to build. By season 2, we see Hannibal become closer to Will, allowing him to open up about his vulnerabilities and his new hopes of the future, but it all came crashing down in Mizumono.

This is the moment where all practices of Mindfulness shattered and so did Hannibal’s mind. We could even argue his heart and soul as well. To be honest, I don’t think he’s ever fully recovered from this and he’s most definitely never been the same. But maybe that’s the point.

Like Will, Hannibal has only continued to change and evolve from who he used to be. He’s broken out of the set lifestyle he made for himself over the last three decades and digs ever deeper into a life of passionate chaos. He puts himself in danger and opens himself up to the possibility of further emotional and mental pain from what Will could do to him. By all logic, it’s madness. But to him, it’s love.