#8 YEARS LATER... HOW FAR WE'VE COME...

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Been feeling Real Nostalgic lately, so I reread an old unfinished fic from 2017 yesterday and left a long comment telling the author how much I still loved it.

Today I got a ping from Ao3 telling me it updated and is now marked as complete, and the first thing I see when I open the new chapter is the author saying they finally decided to give the fic closer / an ending because of my nice comment :')))

Please leave comments on fics you love, no matter how old they are. It means the world to us writers.

[f-imaginings]

A million word fanfic doesn't happen without this.

Knowing Me Knowing You's first chapter was posted on the 31st Jan 2017, and now on 30th July 2025, 8 years, 4 months and 30 days later we've reached the last chapter.

This is first fanfiction I've ever finished all the way through and I wouldn't have got this far without the kind words, encouragement and support of you, the readers.

So this post is a thank you to the readers and a testament to the power of commenting, engaging with, reviewing and celebrating the labour of love that is fanfiction, this freely given expression of shared joy that flourishes within fandoms.

I've collected a cross section of the kind words and reviews that kept me going (and tried to keep them as spoiler free as possible but that was hard, if you didn't see your beautiful essays here it was only bc it was juicy with spoilers haha) because each and every one of these kind words directly impacted me.

I just wanted you all to know how much I valued each and every one, how many times I reread these. how they cheered me up through hard times, built my self esteem up when I needed it most, and how each of you helped me write the fic through the virtue of your spectacular comments.

I thought I'd post them as a sort of fun 'tag yourself' lmao but also to show you that I've seen, cherished and reread every remark and comment, even the ones outside of ao3.

I have appreciated every bit of fanart too, (and the playlists and animations!) but I wanted to showcase how even the smallest comments can have the biggest impact. (I've enjoyed the big comments too! You get what I mean.)

Thank you for engaging with the story, for telling your friends, for gnawing at the bars of your enclosure because this idiot scientist and his evil triangle boyfriend make you froth at the mouth with every divorce, for telling me about said enclosure gnawing haha.

Thank you for crying, thank you for laughing, thank you for feeling as you've read this fic and thank you for sharing your experience.

I feel connected to everyone who's read this, which might be mildly parasocial but I've enjoyed it too much to care. I hope you've enjoyed it too.

If this post reaches any prospective new readers who have a thirst for billford and lots of time on their hands (haha) and this cross section of reviews make you want to read it, please do! Have fun with it, tell your friends, and come back for a reread whenever you want.

It'll always be there for you!

This is where the story ends, but it isn't goodbye! For those unwilling to let KMKY go, there is always the sequel!

[gothamite-rambler]

Dick and Kory (Starfire) stood in front of Damian, 8 years old, who was called in to meet her. Damian hadn't noticed any tension between Dick and Kory to Bruce, and was more annoyed that he had to pause his Bob Ross painting tutorial for this.

Bruce was hesitant about his youngest son meeting Kory, mostly due to his bias toward her, but Dick had been with Kory long enough to know she was always sweet to children and had changed since her wilder days with the Outlaws.

Kory had confessed to being nervous about the meetup, but Dick promised her that he would be there to defend her in case Bruce or Damian insulted her.

Dick: Damian, this is my girlfriend, Koriand’r or Kory for short. Since we've been dating for a year now, she wanted to finally meet you outside of hero work.

Kory waved with a sweet smile on her face. Damian looked the woman up and down with a suspicious, raised eyebrow.

Damian: Hm, Starfire, from the planet Tamaran. I was told about you. Former princess. Fought with the Titans, then teamed up with my brother Red Hood and the Outlaws, where you went through a phase of being a—

Bruce (scolding father tone): Damian, what did I tell you about mentioning inappropriate topics when talking to strangers?

Damian pouted.

Damian: Not to do it. Hm, well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Starfire.

Damian held out his hand, coming off like a little businessman making a formal introduction. Kory turned to Dick wondering if the young boy was seriously asking for a handshake.

Dick (nodding): He wants you to shake his hand.

Kory obliged, taking Damian’s hand and shaking it for a few seconds before pulling away.

Damian: You have a strong grip, and you’re very beautiful. You look like one of those models from the old magazines my father keeps.

Bruce spat out his drink, coughing so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. Kory could only laugh in response, especially at her boyfriend’s expression, part shock, part blushing embarrassment.

Dick: Bruce... what magazines?

Bruce (exclaiming, gruff voice): Nothing. Damian, did you go through my stuff again?

Damian: I needed some reading material, and those old magazines have good stories.

Dick (after sighing with relief): Thank the Lord, he's an innocent summer child.

Kory raised an eyebrow, but remained calm since she saw how blissfully unaware Damian was currently.

Kory: I’m not sure what magazines you’ve been reading, but I’m not really like those women, especially these days.

Damian: Father did say you used to dress and act like a… father, what was the name you called her when talking to Superman? A hustler?

Bruce (stammering): I— I… He's misremembering what I said! Damian, what did I tell you about eavesdropping?!

Damian: Not to do it. I'm innocent that time, I was going to ask you for a pen while you were on the phone. I don't get it though, how is she a hustler in her old outfits?

Bruce: Damian, drop it.

Damian pouted again, crossing his arms.

Dick: Sorry, this isn’t going well. We can come back later.

Kory: What? No, I adore your little brother so far. He’s curious and inquisitive, just like you mentioned.

Damian: That’s to be expected. I’m a treasure. You have green eyes like my mother and I, but where are the whites in your eyes?

Kory: It’s how people from my planet look. I’ve been told my eyes are similar to those in an old alien movie.

Dick: Except you’re way prettier.

Dick kissed Kory on the cheek, making her giggle.

Damian: Gross. Ms. Starfire, Dick and Father told me you’re a skilled fighter and a great warrior back on your home planet. Is that true?

Kory: It is. I’m glad Bruce remembers I’m more than just a “hustler.”

Bruce coughed, pretending to read contents on a cereal box.

Damian: Mm-hm. I will need to see you fight in action to give my full opinion on your heroing, but you're doing well so far.

Kory (sweet tone): Glad that the introductions are going well, then.

Damian (after nodding): After reading Father's journals and seeing you up close, I’m curious, why do you sometimes dress like a pin-up girl on a teenage boy’s poster? That was exactly how I worded it, right, Father?

Bruce's grip tightened around his water glass, nearly crushing it in his hand, his right eye twitching as he fought to contain his anger. Dick glared at him, arms crossed in silent disapproval.

Damian looked around, sensing the tension but unaware that he was the cause. Kory chuckled softly, seemingly entertained by the rising tension and Bruce's usual stoic attitude being thrown out the window.

Dick: Bruce, can I talk to you in private?

Bruce: Yeah, yeah. I can explain, though. I think what Damian read must’ve been novels I’m working on.

Damian (doubling down): But you labeled the front covers as journals.

Bruce: Damian, stop talking.

Dick: Kory and Damian, keep chatting. Bruce, the cave?

Bruce: I'd rather not.

Dick yanked Bruce by his shirt collar, maintaining a tight grin to contain his frustration. Kory, left with Damian, smiled gently and led him toward the couch.

They sat down so she could explain why she dresses the way she does; she was accustomed to Earthlings questioning her attire, and a little kid’s innocent curiosity wouldn’t offend her, since he didn’t know any better.

Kory (calmly explaining): Tamaraneans have a different view on modesty. What I wear now is simply comfortable for me. I know what you Earthlings see as a swimsuit, but for us, it’s like your sweatpants. I understand it can seem puzzling when you see me in my hero costume or some of my civilian attire, but it’s what I like. And the solar rays give me and my people energy. So dresses, shorts, and yes, my hero suit help me look fabulous and give me the energy I need to fight. Be glad you didn’t know me a few years ago, that’s a time I don’t look back on fondly.

Damian: Yeah, I heard you were kind of cold and acted out of your usual character for a few years.

Kory: I did. My mind was subjected to some altering brainwashing, but today, I am much more chipper and a warrior. I hope you get used to my energy. I’m a hugger.

Damian: Thank you for the warning. If I asked anything too personal, I’m sorry. I have some trouble knowing when to ask certain questions.

Kory: You’re fine. I’m used to it and also used to blurting out the wrong thing.

Damian: Hm... That’s actually comforting to know. And if you don’t mind me saying again, you are as pretty as my mother.

Kory (wincing at the mention of Talia): I’ll take that as a compliment. Would you like some candy? I carry some in my purse.

Damian (holding out his hand): Yes, please.

[mateo-diaz]

What We Know - Mel King edition

(inspired by this post)

image heavy! all gifs made by me

episode 1x01

During her intro, we learn Mel is a second-year resident and she spent the past 2 months at the VA (Veteran Affairs). Her full name is Melissa and according to the script she is 28 years old.

episode 1x02

She talks about her time at the VA with Frank.

Followed by her explaining why she chose The Pitt and it's where she first mentions her sister.

After a tough case she goes to get some air and sings Megan Thee Stallion's song "Savage" to herself.

She explains to Frank that when she gets frustrated she can get emotional.

She has difficulty understanding when someone is joking or not.

episode 1x03

She explains to Dennis how she sometimes reacts to death.

She talks with Trinity about mothers and how hers passed. (Pheochromocytoma is a rare tumor of the adrenal gland).

episode 1x05

While with a patient, she relates to being someone's primary caregiver. She also mentions her sister is at a facility in North Hills and that she hired an aide in the past, to help when she was at work.

episode 1x06

She watches a lava lamp on her phone to calm down.

She has an alarm set as a daily reminder to call her sister. Which she does a bit later and they discuss her finding a boyfriend/someone to kiss. Becca also asks if she will come get her to which Mel replies yes, after her shift.

episode 1x07

She speaks with Kiara about her spiraling about a case.

Frank asks her how she managed to get an autistic patient to connect with her and she answers that her sister is on the spectrum. He asks her if they are close to which she answers positively, adding that they are best friends.

Later, she is outside looking at pictures of her and Becca.

Frank walks up and Mel talks about her sister again, telling him she really misses her.

episode 1x09

To wind down, she listens to relaxing ocean sounds.

She really enjoys getting to pluck out tiny pieces of gravel from a wound. Frank calls her a "detail specialist".

episode 1x15

She tells Samira and Donnie how she's still holding up.

When she finally goes to pick up her sister, they talk about how on Fridays they go to a restaurant and watch a movie. Becca loves the movie "Elf" which they have seen many times already.

bonus

Her blood type is O negative.

She likes dogs.

She's good with children & babies.

clothes + jewelry

There isn't much to work with here, sadly. She has small gold U-shaped earrings and wears cute colorful stripey socks.

more from interviews

Taylor confirmed that Mel & Becca are twins. She also mentions that their dad is dead. (link)

In a different interview she says they were "20-year-old orphans". (link)

This would put their mom dying about 8 years ago (~2016), when Mel was doing her undergrad. So she got through that, med school and one year of residency while taking care of her sister full-time. But since we know her mom was sick, Mel probably had to take care of Becca for even longer.

Considering Taylor has also mentioned Mel's loneliness and we've seen her trying to make friends with mostly Trinity and Frank. I think it's safe to say she doesn't have many friends at the moment.

her neurodivergence

So far, it hasn't been confirmed in the show. But Mel is shown self-soothing, stimming and other obvious signs. It's been talked about in the press, she's clearly neurodivergent-coded, if anything. Taylor has talked about how Mel was written at first and expanded because of herself being on the spectrum. (link)

[lemotmo]

”Oh no people sending me doom post!!!!!” it’s not doom post it’s reality. You just can’t accept it, you build this knowledge this idea that Buddie is going to happen and let me tell you all of you will be much more happy lowering your expectations. Remember who was leading the promo last summer and who is doing it know. Get ready to see the first meaningful interaction between Buck and Eddie in 2026.

My god Tim should’ve killed Ravi instead of Bobby.

Okay look, I'll answer this one because this is ridiculous.

I don't know what you think doom-posting entails in a fandom, but yes... you are effectively doom-posting.🤷‍♀️

Now I generally don't mind people asking questions and being sceptical that Buddie will ever happen, but I don't understand why you would bring it to my blog and other Buddie positive blogs? If you are so certain that Buddie will never happen, why bother the more positive crowd with that?

I'm sure that there are other people who think like you do and who are convinced that it will never happen. Talk to them and discuss amongst yourselves how it will never happen, but don't bring it to the people who still believe.

Who are you to tell me to lower my expectations in the first place? I have been here since 2019 and the amounts of time that I have been disappointed in Buddie, Eddie's stoyline or this show in general is overwhelming at this point. Did you forget this show got cancelled during season 6?

But as I am a grown woman I'm pretty sure that I'll survive the disappointment if season 9 doesn't deliver. I might go back to just writing and reading fanfic, discussing headcanons and what not, but I'll live and still be happy, because this is all fictional. I can choose to not watch anymore and move on without any problem.

That being said... you are literally giving up now? Last season was filled with clear signs that Buck is starting to become more aware of his feelings for Eddie. He isn't admitting to it yet, but we've all seen that Tommy scene and the one with Maddie right after.

We got to see their many FaceTime calls and how they were still connected at the hip and emotionally leaning on each other while in another state. That insane kitchen fight they had was so husbands coded.

Next to that we got to see a different Eddie. One who declared he was 'straight' to a priest, decided to choose joy, stepped up as a dad, stood up to his parents to get his son back and admitted to Buck that he matters to him. True that we didn't get to see nearly enough of him in the last episodes, but it is what it is.

The show creates it and we get to watch it, but we cannot change a thing. So I tend to rewatch and focus on all the good things we did get in season 8. And let me tell you... what we got was PLENTY!

So no, none of us know where all of this is going to go. You could be right and they might not give us any kind of meaningful Buddie interaction ever again. But I could also be right and we could finally get some progress in a ship that has been a loooooong time coming.

Ultimately, I could doom and gloom... or be 'realistic' as you see it, but what would be the point then? Fandom is another part of my life at this point. I love it. I love the show, the characters and the ship. Why would I spend my free time being miserable when I can just be positive, talk to other fans and hope for the best? That is so much more fun!

Last, they have only been filming since Tuesday. So far we have seen Kenny dying his hair, Tracie's trailer and some very short Oliver and Anirudh clips. We have not seen Aisha, Angela, Ryan or Jennifer. So they might just be shooting something elsewhere. Who knows?

Ryan didn't lead anything last year. The man grew a moustache. Kenny posted a few videos, the fans went insane over the moustache and the rest is history. It was mostly the whole cast doing silly TikTok dances and having fun on set. It was only much later, closer to the premier when they gave us some fun Ryliver content.

(Oh by the way, they showed us a lot of happy smiling dancing Peter before season 8 aired. Was that supposed to be a sign as well according to you? Was it a sign that Bobby would finally have a problem-free season? That he would be fully happy again? Funny how they then still decided to kill Bobby in 8b. How does that work? Sometimes these BTS interactions mean something and at other times they don't?)

Now we have Oliver challenging Anirudh and Aisha, because we know they've worked out together in the same gym. They are clearly filming a scene together, so they are joking around on set. Are they not supposed to have fun and laugh together?

It's really not all that deep Nonny.

Listen, I would also reread what you have written down before you send it to people, even anonymously. Saying that they should have killed Ravi instead of Bobby? That is just weird. I know you probably wrote this in anger and hit send, but still... 🤨

I like Ravi, but I admit that I loved Bobby more. That doesn't mean that I would have wanted them to kill Ravi in order to spare Bobby. No. I would have actually preferred it if they hadn't killed anyone at all. That way we could have gone into season 9 excited to see the ENTIRE 118 again.

But it is what it is and yes, I am excited.

And yes, I am buddiemaxxing to the extreme and I'm having fun with it. I've come so far and I've waited so long. Why would I give up now when the finish line is finally in sight?🤷‍♀️

[dammit-tazmuir]

Okay you know what? I am still first and foremost a Tiny Alecto Truther, but you know what case for Giant Alecto I could very much get behind?

Sure, her just being big and monstrous (and hot for it) is cool and all, and like, Frankenstein's monster. It's still true that 5 feet or 8 feet makes no difference to a 260 billion cubic mile planet, but the vibe works. Barbie as a sex symbol and John being into like Bowsette and Lady Dimitrescu is also fine, it's kind of amusing, though I feel like there are a lot more interesting things going on with the symbolism that often get missed or just ignored in favor of that read, so I'm a little biased against it.

But what do we actually even know about John and Alecto's relationship? Any snippets of flashbacks so far don't really give us anything but walking and talking. You could read him calling her Annabel Lee as indication he saw her as a lover, but you could also take it for the "could never dissever my soul from the soul" and the angels (saints) being "jealous" and the tomb by the sea symbolism and so-on. You could read Augustine's "to sisters, and the women we've left behind" and John's "do I have to drink to that?" as John referring to many women including family, take the Poe connection to imply he lost all of his mother and grandmother and a foster mother. You don't have to take anything but the most obviously-literal but that's my point, you don't have to take the lover read either, that's also optional.

To Harrow, he calls her his guide, friend? And maybe it's only because she just woke up, but honestly "Why are you not appeased? This is how meat loves meat" to me implies Alecto hadn't been in a habit of kissing anyone. (John or Anastasia or otherwise, though that doesn't discount the possibility of other things and certainly doesn't say anything about any emotional connections.) Everyone is quick to assume romantic and sexual dynamics, but John was emotionally distant even before any magic stuff (see: M— crying when they got shut down, and A— breaking alongside her, but John just being numb and feeling useless), and he's been extremely chaste for most if not all the time he's been God. (It took 500 years to set up DA Major, that was "only the once", and the "Minor" of DA Minor implies they didn't actually fuck, that was more drunk making out and dry humping, etc. (Some translations make that distinction clearer, too, apparently.))

There's the unsettling heart in the sand in the dream, but you know who else has weird feelings? Nona. Nona who admires Camilla like a mother and also thinks about how she could fall in love with her forever and ever, Nona whose only objection to marrying Pyrrha is that Pyrrha wouldn't act like she was married to Nona. (Hell, there's also Pyrrha acknowledging she "should" have loved Cam and Pal like they were her own, but she loved them un-wholesomely instead, but I digress.)

So anyway...

What other reason could a person who's just watched nearly everyone he loved die— who may have well been shot himself and now be in the midst of throwing A Tantrum— and has been watching the world burn slowly around him his entire life possibly have for wanting a giant woman? A woman big enough to pick him up and hold him? A woman he makes look like the doll left to him by his absent and possibly long dead mum? A woman he makes out of the soul of earth. Who sees all humans as infants. About whom John later says, "In a very real way, you and the others are A.L.'s children."

So yeah my #1 and preferred theory is cute little doll Alecto who's gonna wreck shit with a sword bigger than she is, but my runner-up is now "Yeah Alecto IS gigantic, because John in his darkest moment wanted a mother to come and save him."

[starzzarehere]

In my recent ventures of fanfic writing, I've come to notice how little information we actually have on the Gojo clan. So, being the neurodivergent fucker I am, I have decided to do a bit of my own research to try piece together a semi-coherent thesis on them— as a fun little exercise. Also, most of this is headcanon. I also wrote this on one and a half hours of sleep and a shitton of coffee.

-> Some needed exposition (The Blah Blah).

The Gojo Clan are descendents of Sugawara no Michizane, one of Japan's Three Great Onryō (known as "vengeful spirits" in english). Sugawara (August 1, 845 – March 26, 903) was a scholar, poet, and politician of the Heian period. He excelled particularly in waka and kanshi poetry, and is also seen as the Shinto god of learning, Tenman-Tenjin.  

While Gojo Satoru is referred to as the one-man act of the Gojo clan, it's made clear that there are other members within said clan.  

Gege has gone on record to say that Satoru would often sneak out or slip away as a child to roam around the city. He said this in the 33 questions he answered about Satoru.  

Gege (also through 33 questions about Satoru) says that Satoru was spoiled rotten as child, while simultaneously being isolated from most childhood experiences. He also states that his parents were forced to relinquish him during his early years due to their abilities as sorcerers being subpar relative to the young heir. He also said that Satoru was mostly in Tokyo for training as a kid.  

The Six Eyes are said to be a hereditary trait, though it's not a cursed technique like Blood Manipulation or the Ten Shadows. But unlike the other two clans, the Gojo clan is kinda useless without their human embodiment of a weapon— the Six Eyes are technically not needed for a Gojo sorcerer to use limitless, but without SE a Limitless user cannot harness their full potential. Ie, they'd be kinda average. But again, CTs aren't exclusively hereditary so there's a good chance that a Gojo clan member could get a powerful CT. I'd even go as far as to say that the Gojo clan chooses a head who was born with with the strongest CT to maintain appearances.  

All of the clans are pretty traditional, but we can see that the Gojo clan is a lot more lenient in their traditionalism. I'm saying this because, if it were up to the Zen'in or Kamo clans, Yuuta wouldn't have become clan head. The other two seem hellbent on traditionalism while the Gojo clan (from what little we've seen) seems more welcoming of change. I think this is partly due to the the way the Six Eyes are inherited: there can be no two SE and the bearer is bound to the same mortality as the people around them. Another thing to keep in mind is that the SE manifests once in a few centuries; for the SE and Limitless to manifest together is a miracle in itself. Therefore, the Gojo Clan can't afford to be rigid/petty in their structural hierarchy.

The Gojo clan is situated in Kyoto, AKA the cultural capital of Japan. This'll be important later.  

Buddhism is a core theme in Jujutsu Kaisen (I'mma be fr, the last two facts were added last minute cause I lowkey forgot to write them in 😭)

★ Piecing it together (The Blah Blah, but Kovi has fun) .

As established in (8), Jujutsu Kaisen is a world that is heavily based on Buddhism. Not just that, but the world of Jujutsu itself borrows from many aspects of Buddhism (Dukha, Mudra, Bodhi, The Eightfold path, etc. etc.) So it wouldn't be much of a surprise if the Big Three™️were to adhere to buddhist principles/values, to the point where it crosses into dogmatism. I'm inclined to believe that the Gojo clan are the ones who manage maintain their facade of pragmatism the best. This is mostly due to how the other two clans seem...trigger happy. K(enjaku)amo Norotoshi has already tarnished the name of the Kamo clan, and the Zen'in clan are, uh. Not the nicest bunch. That isn't to say that the Gojo clan are any better than the other two though. Because stated in (5), the SE and Limitless are a hereditary technique. Ie, they could be inherited by men or by women. And considering the rampant misogyny in the Jujutsu world, I feel like they'd just pass her off as a man. This isn't a stretch btw, it was an actual practice in medieval Japan. Would make sense for the old geezers to retain this practice, especially in case of a heir who's supposed to be ✨enlightened✨. But this seems contradictory, no? I literally just said in (6) that, of the big three clans, the Gojo is most lenient in it's rules. Which— yeah. Between the three clans, they are the most lenient. Especially taking into consideration (4). I feel like they'd be less abusive physically, resorting to verbal reprimand. Kinda like that one aunt at a family gathering who's always shitting on your sister's looks, even though she's the farthest thing from a sight for sore eyes (don't ask). Speaking of! Referencing what I said in (1) & (7), I think that the Gojo clan (and the Kamo clan, which is also in Kyoto) would be very particular about their cultural education. I mean, think about it; if you're part of an ancient clan, living in the cultural capital, while having an ancestor who was a poet...wouldn't you also want to be educated in the arts? Yes, this is an excuse for me to make Gojo wax poetic; no, I don't wanna hear about it. Also, he's Asian. Asians don't play about their culture. Oh! And bringing in (3), I wanna add that the heirs are probably given rigorous training to be worthy of their position as head. Doesn't matter if they're special or not. Satoru probably skipped classes to run around the city lol. Also, (4) also explains a lot on why he resents the higher ups. They basically took away all he had as a child, giving him material pleasures while withholding emotional affection. They probably used the whole 'no attachment' belief as an excuse. Also, going to (5) I'd wager that Gojo clan heads are more ceremonial than anything, the clan governance being handled mostly by the older elders. Of course our blue-eyed king is an exception to this, as are the other SE users.

Aaand, that's wrap. I've gotten that outta my system, so hurrah. Now I'mma go eat some unbelievably unhealthy shit

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ - ʙᴏɴᴜs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ

series masterlist / complete masterlist

ʙᴏɴᴜs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ

"Lando!" I shout from the bedroom hearing Lando in the kitchen "Lando!"

"What!" As Lando comes into the bedroom he takes one look at me sat on the floor and the confusion is instantly on his face "what the fuck are you doing on the floor?"

"I sat down to fold clothes and got stuck. Help me up please" holding my hands out I let Lando pull me to my feet "the floor seemed like the best place to fold clothes"

"Why at 8 months pregnant did you think sitting on the floor would be a good idea? You should be resting before the flight later" falling pregnant was a complete surprise to not only Lando but me as well.

Of course we've had conversations about having kids and we both knew we wanted to wait a few years but the universe had different plans for us. You could say we took celebrating Lando's birthday and WDC win too far but now we're so close to having our baby in our arms I wouldn't change a thing.

Today we're flying from Monaco back to England for the British Grand Prix, he never asked me to officially move in it just happened now most of my time is spent in Monaco. This weekend marks two years since we met and the whole time has been nothing short of a whirlwind. I debated not going to the race being so heavily pregnant but ultimately I want to be there and after being cleared fit to fly by a doctor I refuse to miss out.

"It made sense when I started okay? I don't need to rest, I'm pregnant not ill. I have everything packed and I've got an emergency hospital bag just in case baby decides to come this weekend"

"How do you feel about everyone finding out this weekend?" As Lando pulls me into his arms I look up at him fiddling with the necklace around his neck.

"I'm excited now it's here and also very proud of us for keeping this out of the press for this long. Especially you, we both know you can't keep your mouth shut" when we found out I was pregnant we told our family and friends, not so much a need to know basis but more of who we wanted to tell however to this day we haven't made a public post telling Lando's fans and the world. Finding out during winter break meant it was easy to keep out of the public eye and since the start of the season I've missed a lot of races due to work but when I have been at them, I've lay low.

"You have no idea how many times I've nearly slipped up when I've been interviewed or on stream with Max"

"I've noticed. A lot" I know Lando is desperate to scream the news from the rooftops but he's respected my decision. It's not that I've gone to extremes to hide but I have enjoyed being able to have this time with Lando to enjoy being pregnant privately.

"I'm excited Lucía, I just can't wait to be a dad to our baby. Knowing that he's half of you and half of me is the best feeling"

"Let's be honest he's going to mainly be you because I already know he's going to look like you"

"So he'll be cute just like his dad"

"Keep telling yourself that babe"

"We really need to agree on a name for him" for months now Lando and I have argued over baby's name. There's literally nothing we can both agree on. I didn't realise just how hard it would be to name a baby. It's such a big responsibility when they'll have the name for life.

"Can we please not have that argument now. It's such a big decision, I think we'll have to decide when he's here and look at him to see what name suits him"

"I understand you wanting his surname to be Norris Alonso and I’m all for it but he really needs a name I hate calling him just baby or him all of the time"

"We'll get there Lando. I'd rather just have him here safely over anything" We've already ruled out any name that is directly linked to anyone on the grid and anything that is utterly ridiculous. We can't even decide whether baby should have a middle name; Lando has grown up without one so doesn't see the need for four names where as I've grown up with four names so to me it's completely normal. The one thing we can agree on is following the Spanish tradition of baby having both mine and Lando's surname, I know he'll go by Norris for most of his life but I like knowing Alonso will still be there.

"That goes without saying baby. Do you want to go for food before we fly?" My face lights up at the thought of food. This baby has got me eating anything and everything I'm not surprised I'm so huge. I've always loved my food but my appetite from the day I fell pregnant has been astronomical.

I watch as Lando grabs our bags, not letting me get anything other than my handbag so we can make our way to the car. If being pregnant has done one thing, it's made me fall in love with Lando even more. He's always been amazing but seeing him prepare for this new chapter in our lives has shown me a completely different side to him. He's more loving and attentive than he's ever been, witnessing the way he's been with me over the course of my pregnancy I know he's going to be an amazing dad.

The next morning I wake up sweating, England is unnaturally warm and my pregnant self isn't coping at all. Dragging myself to sit up in bed I'm at the point where I have to do everything in stages. I can already tell today is going to be a good day, tough but good.

"You okay baby?" Looking up at Lando as he walks out of the bathroom I can't believe this man is mine.

"Yeah I'll be good in a minute. He's squashing my bladder I'm sure I've peed myself but he's sitting on my sciatic nerve again" for the last few weeks baby keeps positioning himself on a nerve leaving me in pain every time he does. I've never felt pain in my lower back or leg like it and if this just a taste of what's to come in labour I don't think I want to do it.

"I can help you into the shower to see if that helps"

"Give me a minute and I will. I need to just build up the courage to stand up" resting my hand on my bump I'll miss it when he's here but I'm just about done with being pregnant now "I love how you ignore the fact I've just said I think I've peed myself"

"It's not the first time" Lando says with a shrug as he starts getting dressed "and it's not like you can help it. You've got a baby either kicking or sitting on your bladder"

"You're amazing" pulling myself off the bed I make my way over to Lando standing behind him as I wrap my arms around his torso "I love you y'know"

"I love you too" as Lando turns in my arms I feel him place a soft kiss on my forehead "how do you feel now today's here?"

"I can't wait. I'm excited to walk through the paddock flaunting this massive bump with you by side" this baby may have been a surprise but from the moment we met, I knew Lando would be the only one I'd want to have a baby with.

"I guess it's one way to prove to everyone that Lando No-Rizz has actually got rizz"

"Don't ever say that again or you'll be single forever" I say with a laugh "I'm going to shower. Love you Lando"

As we arrive at the track the crowds are insane as always even for a media day. I know Lando is about to create a full on tornado, it's not unusual for me to be here or arriving with him but he hasn't warned anyone that I'm going to be arriving 8 months pregnant or that we're about to announce it to the world. Sophie's going to kill him and probably me but the man is stubborn. When he wants to do something his way and he's set on it, there's no changing his mind. When it comes to racing or sponsors he's a bit more flexible but when it comes to his personal life, his decision is final.

"Are you ready for this?" I love how Lando is always checking on me. It can get too much sometimes but I know it's only because he cares.

"Absolutely. It was nice knowing you though Norris"

"What do you mean?" Lando asks looking at me confused.

"You haven't warned your PR team about this. Sophie is going to kill you and probably me then Chelsea will join in as well"

"I like to keep things interesting"

"I noticed" rolling my eyes I hand Lando his phone "this is your time to shine, go for it" we agreed that Lando would share a post on instagram when we arrive at the track just before we get out of the car to face the media. This way his fans at home get to see the post from him rather than all of the media outlets.

"There's no going back now" as Lando clicks post I almost feel nervous even though I have no reason to. This is our lives and no matter what opinion people may have, it's irrelevant. We're happy. Our families are happy. Our friends are happy for us. We couldn't ask for more "I love you baby"

"I love you too" leaning over I kiss Lando softly knowing between us our phones are going crazy with notifications but I'm not really bothered by that, I have my fiancé by my side that's all I need "let's do this"

landonorris and esmelucia

Liked by flonorris, maxfewtrell, mclaren and 3.4m others

landonorris SURPRISE! we’ve been keeping a little secret 🤫 Baby Boy Norris Alonso coming very soon 👣 🩵

view all comments

user846 sobbing rn 😭

user977 you can tell he loves them both so much!

-> user205 the dream is to find someone who loves me as much as Lando loves Lucía!

fernandoalonso abuelo can’t wait to meet him

-> esmelucia te amo papá

user357 why Norris Alonso and not just Norris? Seems disrespectful to Lando

-> user825 she’s half Spanish, it’s tradition for baby to have mum and dads surname. Not disrespectful at all and Lando must have agreed 🤷🏼‍♀️

-> user296 baby is going to have one of the most iconic surnames ever!

livdavies Rafe can’t wait to meet his best friend!

-> landonorris double trouble! Pray for us all!

user185 Lando and Lucía having a baby wasn’t on my 2026 bingo card!

-> esmelucia it’s alright it wasn’t on our bingo card either 😅

Stepping out of the car I instantly hear the mumbling within the crowd. The news is travelling fast and we're met with a chorus of gasps, oh my gods thrown around and I'm positive I hear a few squeals of joy from some of the fans. It's comforting to know people are actually happy for us. Standing by Lando's side as he signs autographs for the waiting crowd I'm pulled into a few conversations congratulating us, people saying how happy they are for us and how exciting the next couple of months are going to be. I don't doubt that as we make our way to McLaren's hospitality where we're met with both Sophie and Chelsea.

"You two are a PR nightmare! A quick text with a warning would've been nice Norris!" Despite Sophie trying to act like she's annoyed I can see the smile creeping onto her face.

"Surprise?" Lando questions with a shrug.

"Never mind surprise! If it wasn't such good news to share I'd throttle the pair of you! I think you just like to make my job harder, even more so when you're together!" I know we probably should've told someone about the bomb we were about to drop but I can't help laugh.

"Sorry Soph I shouldn't laugh but your face is a picture. I wouldn't stress though, the media have the details they need to know. I'm not planning on going into full detail about my due date or anything like that. We all know baby is due at the beginning of summer break which is impeccable timing from us by the way but the media don't need to know any of that. I just hope he doesn't come the weekend of Hungary" I'm happy to share somethings with the world but the finer details I want to keep to myself.

"What's your thoughts on the media asking questions? It's going to be the main thing they want ask about today and I need to know where you stand. If you don't want to answer anything further we tell them to not even bring it up"

"Lando knows what I'm happy for them to know, we're okay with them asking some questions"

"Anything we don't want public I'll just say no comment" for someone who's so confident the thought of telling the world any kind of detail about my pregnancy terrified me at first, however Lando has made me feel so at ease despite us both having no idea what we've let ourselves in for.

A short while later Lando is ready for his first interviews of the day, I'm not involved in any of the interviews I wouldn't want to be but I've chosen to be here so I can hear what is said directly before any media outlets get the chance to alter Lando's words. I'm grateful one of Lando's first interviews is with Crofty, we've both known him for many years and I know he's never going to be there to judge us.

"Before we get started I just want to congratulate you both. You've both been around the paddock long enough for me to know that you're both good people and this couldn't be happening to two nicer people"

"Thank you, that means a lot" although I've been around Formula One for most of my life, I've never realised how many people have paid an interest in my life not just since I got with Lando but before that as well.

As the interview begins I can't help but smile at Lando smiling. Since we found out we are going to be parents he's smiled more, something I didn't think possible. When we'd spoken about kids I wanted to wait a few years but I think deep down Lando wanted kids sooner, especially since he watched Max become a dad and how much he's loved every moment since Rafe was born.

"Do you mind if I ask how Lucía told you she's pregnant? Did you expect it?" As Crofty asks the question both Lando and I burst out laughing.

"It wasn't all cute and sweet as you'd expect but it was a complete surprise for both of us. I told her to fuck off about five times because I thought she was winding me up. When I realised she was being serious I called her a knob only because she'd roped me into some couples challenge where I had to lift her off the ground and spin her round. Apparently she had to find an excuse to film something to get my reaction"

The day I told Lando about being pregnant is a day I'll never forget. I wanted to find a way to film his reaction without it being suspicious and after spending most of the morning scrolling tiktok that's when I got the idea to persuade him to try a couples challenge. Thankfully he agreed after a few eye rolls but it worked out perfectly. His reaction was exactly what I would have expected from either one of us.

Slowly making our way back to McLaren's hospitality after the interview we get stopped by so many people offering their congratulations. It's insane to me how much attention turns to you with the slightest announcement especially when a few people around the paddock already knew. Grabbing a decaf iced latte I find myself a seat outside in the sun where I'm joined by Lando and Chelsea.

"I can't breathe" letting out a deep breath I try to get my breath back.

"Are you okay baby?" Lando asks his voice laced with its usual concern.

"No your child is rearranging all of my internal organs one by one but I'll be fine. I'll be even better when he's here" I know Lando worries no matter how many times I tell him this is normal especially for someone 36 weeks pregnant.

"How does it feel knowing you're going to have a little human of your own in a matter of weeks?" Chelsea asks, she's one person I don't mind sharing details with.

"Fucking terrifying" I admit. I've told Lando multiple times that I'm nervous however that doesn't take away my excitement "I know we look after Rafe sometimes but it's completely different knowing this baby is a combination of us two and we can't just give him back when things get tough. We're going to be responsible for a whole human"

"You're going to be the best mum to him. He's going to be a mummy's boy and he's going to be obsessed with you just as much as I am" feeling Lando kiss me on the top of my head I lean into his touch. Every time I start to get nervous, he knows how to ease my fears "I have to go and do some filming but come and get me if you need anything" watching Lando rush off to where he needs to be late as always I smile at how attentive he is.

"He really is obsessed with you and it's only going to be worse once baby is here. I thought after you first met things would fizzle out and the two of you would clash being so similar but you're actually perfect for each other" looking at Chelsea I think about what she's saying. So many people thought me and Lando wouldn't last purely because of how we got together and the odds were probably stacked against us but I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's my voice of reason.

"I couldn't cope without him Chels. Don't get me wrong we do clash and argue but he keeps me sane and he keeps me calm. I think I met him at a perfect time" now I'm with Lando I couldn't ever imagine being with anyone else. I couldn't imagine starting a family with anyone else.

"You'll be pleased to know the fans are loving the announcement. I've seen a few comment how real you are for wearing crocs and walking around with your jeans open"

"Crocs are about the only things my feet fit into right now and the jeans are open because I've ate far too much and felt like I was being cut in two. They were a bad idea on my part however if I wanted them to know how real I am I'd tell them my body suit is also open because Lando wasn't around to fasten the poppers for me"

"Only you, Lucía" Chelsea says with a laugh "I need to get back to your dad but if you need anything like Lando said, come and find one of us"

The full weekend goes by in the blink of an eye. Lando has dominated all weekend and gets a clean sweep giving him back to back wins at Silverstone. Something I know means so much to him and as his fiancé I could not be prouder if I tried. Our visit to the UK is a flying one and before I know it we're back in Monaco. 

"Come here baby" Lando says as he opens his arms to me "you're exhausted aren't you" 

"Yeah I am" I don't even try to argue with Lando, the travel and back to back events of the weekend have completely taken it out of me "I have so much to do as well, I don't have time to be exhausted" 

"Don't worry about anything. We'll get sorted" 

"Lando you've sprung a house move on me and you're not even going to be here when we get the keys. We have a whole apartment to pack up and I don't start my maternity leave for nearly two weeks" In his wisdom, Lando decided we needed somewhere bigger for the three of us to live and now we don't get the keys for two weeks when I'll be 38 weeks pregnant and Lando will be getting ready to leave for Spa. 

"Baby don't stress. The apartment is practically move in ready"

"I am stressed though! You'll be in Hungary on my due date and Spa the week before. I'm so scared you're not going to be here and I'll have to do this on my own" Thinking about the next few weeks overwhelms me. There is so much going on and I don't know where to begin but the fact I’m not in complete control is what stresses me out the most. 

"Lu, you're never going to be on your own. Would I like to win back to back championships? Absolutely but the second there is anything happening with you or our baby that is all forgotten about. If I'm in Spa or Hungary I'll drop everything to come home to you, I've told McLaren I need a jet on stand by at all times. This is the reason we have a reserve driver. There is no one more important than you and our baby boy. I'm not missing his birth for anyone" 

"I'm not doubting that you'd be there, I know you'd come home for us the second I need you. I think I'm just scared now I know how close it is to our lives changing forever. We're never just going to be Lucía and Lando again" once this baby is here I know, regardless of what happens Lando and I are tied together for life. It's never going to just be us two again, we have a whole new purpose in life.  

"It is scary and it's a massive change for both of us but we have each other baby. If we have each other we can get through anything. You're still going to be you, no one especially me will see you as just a mum"

"I know you're right I just think I'm getting into my own head"

"It's been a long couple of days. Why don't we go to bed and tomorrow I'll handle some of the packing while you work? Let me take as much stress off you as I can"

"That's the best thing you've ever said to me. I can't believe how lucky I got with you" there's just something about Lando, no matter how stressed I am, he always know how to deal with me. I know every single day that I'm lucky to have Lando. My relationship with him was unexpected, I never would have planned to go to a race weekend with the intention of finding a boyfriend but I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

The next couple of weeks pass in a blur, I'm finally finished work for my maternity leave and the apartment move is in full swing. After the race in Spa, Lando made sure to come home the same night especially knowing my due date is so close and left it as late as he could before he left for Hungary. It's now Sunday after Lando has just won in Hungary and I know he'll be home soon. McLaren have stuck to their word and had a jet waiting for him to come home with today being my due date however this baby is showing no sign of moving any time soon.

While I wait for Lando to get home, I've made a start on baby's room. I know the apartment was move in ready but this is the one room I want to make changes to. In the time Lando has been away I've turned my hand to DIY and decided to paint the bedroom, I always thought nesting was a myth until it’s happened to me. I know baby won't be in this room for a long time but I still want him to have his own space. I was going to leave it until Lando got home after I built baby's pram but I'm itching to get everything done as soon as possible.

"Lucía I'm home" hearing Lando walk through the door I feel a relief I wasn't expecting. He's home for summer break and he's going to be here when baby is born.

"I'm in here!" Shouting to let Lando know where I am, I put the paint brush down.

"What the fuck are you doing up there! Are you insane! You're nine months pregnant Lucía!" Lando practically screams in panic when he realises I'm standing on a ladder, probably not my smartest idea but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

"I'm okay babe don't panic. I just couldn't settle until I got this room finished" walking towards Lando I wrap my arms around him the best I can with a bump in between us "congratulations on your win Lando. I'm so proud of you" kissing Lando I feel like I can truly enjoy the lead up to our baby's birth now he's home for just over three weeks.

"Thank you. It would have been better to have you there but it feels good knowing the next one I'll have a son to race for. The car feels so good this season"

"He'll be supporting his daddy every single race and it won't be long until he's in the back of the garage cheering you on" I already know this baby will be making his appearance at a race sooner rather than later, Lando doesn't know it yet but my plan is to try and go to Monza before the long haul races begin again later in the season but I want to keep it as a surprise.

"I can't wait until you're both there and he's wearing his LN4 merch but right now I need you to put the paint away because I want to take you for dinner to celebrate my win with the love of my life"

"It's late Lan, can we just order food in? I will put the paint away now you're home though" all I have to do in the bedroom now is decorate with accessories once the cot is in place. Lando has already said he wants to build the cot and I'm not going to stop him, however I know he's useless at painting which is one of the main reason why I did it while he's been away.

"If we're still celebrating I'm happy to order in. I'm not going to drag you out into the streets of Monaco if you want to stay home"

"I'm always going to celebrate you however my feet are so swollen and I can barely walk without being out of breath. That is a sight no one wants to see walking around Monaco" if Lando really wants to go out I'll go but at the minute the only thing I am close to comfortable is crocs and massively oversized t-shirts. I went through a stage of only wearing Lando's t-shirts however I'm too big for that now so I had to buy new ones.

"We can stay home, I want you to be comfortable over everything. I know how hard it's been these last few weeks but you've been mega" over the last few weeks I think Lando has realised and appreciated what I've put my body through. I can't complain about being pregnant, I've had it plain sailing until I've got towards the end but I'm really feeling how much it's taking its toll now.

Over the next few days Lando helps me get the nursery finished between midwife appointments to find out what's happening. Now I'm overdue there's talk of my labour being induced, something I'm on board with because I want Lando to get as much time as possible with baby before he has to leave for the Dutch Grand Prix. In our final appointment it's decided that I'll be taken into hospital Thursday with the aim of baby being born the Thursday or Friday at the latest. I'm happy with the decision and it means Lando will have the best part of three weeks with us.

As Thursday arrives along with my mum and Lando's parent my nerves are through the roof. Today is the day my life is going to change forever. Right now we're sat around waiting for the green light to go into hospital however after ringing them a couple of times throughout the day my time keeps being pushed back due to them being busy. The longer I wait, the more on edge I become.

"Do you think I could just turn up at hospital?" I ask my mum wondering what the hospital would do considering I've waited all day from 7am for the go ahead.

"Probably not they'd just send you home until they're ready for you especially with you not being in labour. Why don't you try and get some sleep?"

"I can't sleep mum I'm too nervous" I know Lando is also feeling the nerves which is why I sent him out with his dad for a while. I know he won't tell me how he's feeling to stop me worrying but I know he'll open up to his dad, something I know he needs.

"Lucía you need all the energy you can get, at least go and lie on the bed and rest until the hospital phone" I can't argue with my mum even now as an adult about to have her own baby so I make my way to the bedroom leaving my mum and Cisca to talk about their grandson, a first for them both.

Eventually I get the call I've waited all day for, the hospital want me to go in at midnight. It seems crazy to me that they want me to go at that time but I'm not going to turn them down. Once Lando and I arrive at hospital we're shown to a room where we're told we'll meet our midwife who will be looking after us.

"Can you believe this is happening?" Lando asks and I can see he's starting to get nervous despite trying to stay positive for me.

"Not at all. I've been scared this whole pregnancy about giving birth and the thought of it makes me feel sick" I've never hid how scared I am of actually having to push a baby out of my body and now it's here that fear is the worst it's ever been.

"I'm going to be by your side every step of the way baby. You're not doing this alone. You're going to have me here the whole time I'm not going anywhere and your mum will be here once you're in labour" there was never a question about Lando being by my side, however I decided I also want my mum to be here as well. I can only have two birthing partner or I would have also liked Cisca to be here as well but she's holding the fort at home.

As the night drags on I try to get as much sleep as I can while Lando tries to sleep in the chair next to my bed but being in hospital I only manage to sleep in short bursts at a time. After what feels like a lifetime, I finally get introduced to a midwife nearly seven hours after I first arrived. She talks Lando and I through the process of what is going to happen to induce labour and what options I have for pain medication. I already know I want it all, I want this experience to be as pain free as it can be.

Before this was happening to me I had no idea how painfully slow it would be for labour to start and it feels like it has taken an eternity for anything to progress however now it has I'm feeling pain like I've never felt before. Rocking on the birthing ball I can see the distress on Lando's face knowing he can't do anything for me other than try to offer words of comfort.

"You're doing amazing baby. How's the pain now?"

"I'm so tired Lan" the doctor has just given me a dose of diamorphine for the pain but now I feel like I'm slurring my words. They did warn it could slow down labour and make me feel more tired but I didn't think I'd feel this tired.

"I know the doctor said to stay on the ball if you can but why don't you try and sleep? You've barely slept since yesterday and you look like you’re about to pass out any minute" I know Lando is right and I need all the energy I can get to push this baby out so I let him help me into bed.

"Thank you for being here" holding Lando's hand I quickly fall into a deep sleep and know nothing until I wake up completely dazed to a room full of what looks like doctors with panicked looks on their faces "what's happening?"

"It's nothing to worry about Lucía we're just doing a check on baby" I hear someone tell me. I have no idea what time it is or anything, I have no sense of what is going on but I see Lando stood with my mum also looking worried.

"Lando what's happening?" I ask Lando because I know he'll be honest with me, I find doctors sometimes try to sugarcoat things but I need the truth.

"Baby's heart rate is a little bit low but they think you're ready to push"

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He will be. He's made of strong stuff like his mummy" dosing back off to sleep I don't take in the seriousness of what is being said but my mum is still calm and if she is calm I know things can't be that bad.

The rest of my labour is a complete blur. I register the midwife telling me I can push however due to the amount of pain relief I've been given I don't remember much of actually pushing. Before I know it I'm being handed a screaming baby and I burst into tears as my baby boy is placed on my chest for the first time.

"You did it baby. I'm so proud of you" as Lando kisses me I realise he has tears streaming down his face.

"I couldn't have done it without you. I love you so much Lando"

"I love you too my girl. I am in complete awe of what you have just done" as Lando looks down at our baby I can't believe we've created this little human "he's absolutely perfect"

"He really is. Our perfect little boy"

"Congratulations you two. I'm so unbelievably proud of you both" my mum says hugging me and Lando as she tries to stop her tears "I have the most perfect grandson in the world. I take back everything I ever said about being too young to be a nana"

"You'll be the best nana to him mum" as a nurse takes our baby to clean him up I look at Lando in complete shock "oh my god we're actually parents"

"We are and I can't wait for us to do this together" as Lando kisses me again I wipe his tears before telling the nurse to hand our baby to him. From the day I found out I was pregnant this is what I've waited for the most. The moment I get to see Lando holding our baby in his arms.

"Lucía we're having a problem with your placenta delivering. Are you okay if we get on of the doctors to try and pull it out while another tries to push it from your stomach?" A nurse asks me and I have no idea what this means. I know my placenta needs to come out but I had no idea there could be an issue with that.

"Yeah do what you need to do" I agree with the nurse but little did I know it would be the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I feel everything that is happening and the tears roll down my face in pain.

"You need to stop you're hurting her" hearing Lando trying to stop the doctors I realise how bad this must be for him.

"Lando calm down. They need to do it or she'll end up seriously poorly" as my mum tries to calm Lando, I scream at the doctors to stop. The pain is unbearable.

"I can't do it. That hurts too much" crying in pain I know I can't go on. I don't know what my options are but there has to be something else the doctors can try.

"We can stop Lucía but you're losing a lot of blood. The only other thing we can do is take you into surgery" I don't really know what I'm agreeing to I feel so out of it but I realise I'm being taken out of the delivery room and moved into an operating theatre.

Stirring in bed I realise the lights are dimmed but I have no idea where I am. I can see Lando at my bedside holding our newborn close to his chest and my mum is sat at the other side of the room looking more stressed than I've ever seen her before.

"Hi baby how you feeling?" Lando asks when he realises I'm awake.

"Like I've been hit with a truck. What time is it?" It looks dark outside so I must have been out a while.

"Just after 9pm. Do you want to hold him?"

"Yeah please" nodding as Lando hands me our baby I look at him in awe, he's absolutely perfect "the last I remember it was around 4pm"

"I'm not surprised, you've had a tough time of it Luc. You had us worried for a moment"

"What happened?" I have no clue what has happened to me in the last few hours.

"You ended up losing a litre and a half of blood so they took you into surgery to remove all of your placenta because it wouldn't come out. They've had to give you a blood transfusion but they said you should make a full recovery" as my mum explains what has gone on I realise how serious the situation was "I'll go and phone your dad so he knows your awake. He's beside himself with worry" as my mum leaves Lando and I alone I try to let it sink in. 

“I’m sorry I worried you” I can see in Lando’s face just how stressed he’s been, that’s one thing about him; no matter what his face gives him away especially his eyes.

“Don’t you dare apologise. This wasn’t your fault I’m just relieved you’re going to be okay. I was so scared I was going to lose you”

“I’m not going anywhere other than home with my two boys” after the day we’ve have I want nothing more than to get home to my own bed. You’d think by now they’d learn to make hospital beds more comfortable than they are.

“They think you’ll be able to leave tomorrow they just need to do blood tests first”

“It can’t come quick enough. Have you thought about any names for him while I’ve been out cold?” I know we’ve been putting this off but now I have my baby in my arms I know we need to come to a decision about his name.

“I have actually. I’ve looked through loads of names and I quite like Rubén and there’s a Spanish spelling so we’re not ignoring your roots but if you hate it we can look again”

“Rubén” looking down at our baby I actually think it suits him “Rubén Norris has a ring to it. I like it”

“Do you actually?” Lando sounds surprised that I’ve actually agreed with him on a name out of the thousands we’ve looked at.

“I really like it and I like the fact you’ve brought my Spanish side into it. That’s really thoughtful” the fact Lando has covered all bases is really touching and in my state of heightened emotion I find myself crying again.

“Don’t cry baby” as Lando rests his forehead again mine I kiss him softly “I love you my girl. I didn’t think I could love you anymore than I did until I’ve just witnessed what I have today”

“I love you Lando. Me and Rubén couldn’t have don’t this without you”

“Does that mean you want to call him Rubén?”

“I do. The more I look at him the more I think the name suits him and then we he’s older I can’t wait to tell him that it was his daddy who picked his name” looking at our baby I can’t believe he’s here. I can’t believe he’s ours. I may be biased but together we’ve created the most beautiful baby I’ve ever laid eyes on.

esmelucia and landonorris

Liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton, livdavies and 3.6m others

esmelucia our baby boy finally made his dramatic entrance into the world on Friday 7th August. Rubén Jack you are everything we dreamed of and more 🩵.

landonorris I could not have done any of this without you by my side. You have been my rock from day one and we both love you endlessly. No words will ever be enough to express how grateful I am for you.

View all comments

maxfewtrell congratulations again and welcome to the best club. Rafe cant wait to meet him

-> esmelucia you’re all welcome to come over any time

landonorris I love you both so much my girl

-> esmelucia 🤍🥹

user931 McLaren’s 2044 rookie has arrived

user583 literally the cutest baby I’ve ever seen

-> user525 it’s like Lando has cloned himself

-> esmelucia no denying who his dad is 😅

• • •

So when I originally wrote this story there was never any kind of plan to write more and especially something as long as this has turned out to be but I just can’t let these two go 🥹. Hope you all love this as much as I did writing it 🤍

[markantonys]

the good thing about the slog is that because such little of true import happens over such a long chunk of the series, the show is quite well-positioned to be able to tell the whole story cohesively in any number of seasons after 4. only 4 seasons would be tricky, but 5 or 6 would be just as doable as 7 or 8. (disclaimer that there has not been any news or speculation about potentially getting less than 8 seasons so don't panic haha it's just a topic i was randomly thinking about today! that being said, i do think 8 seasons is pretty ambitious in today's television landscape, especially if it continues to take 2 years to make each season, so while we're all hoping for the full 8, it's worth imagining how they could do it in fewer.)

i expect s4 to roughly coincide with the end of LOC, so, dumai's wells for rand and being raised amyrlin for egwene. perrin, mat, nynaeve, and elayne have more wiggle room in what they might be getting up to during s4 (it seems possible the ebou dar trip might be absorbed into tanchico in s3, and perrin may have to get an invented plotline or have a later plotline brought forward for s4 since he has so little in TFOH-LOC), so i won't guess at the endpoint for them beyond that it will likely leave them ready to kick into a fresh new storyline for s5. and nynaeve frankly doesn't have a book storyline after ebou dar (she's just supporting rand's & lan's storylines), so i'll ignore her in this post and just focus on the other 5 mains. fingers crossed the show will come up with more for nynaeve to do during this part of the story, but that's a separate topic.

after LOC, as far as i can recall, each of them only has 1-2 main things they strictly Must do before the last battle (obviously i've left out a bunch of stuff, but i'm thinking of just the absolute bare minimum essentials here):

rand: cleanse saidin (only requires 1 episode); reach his lowest point, then pull himself back up again, all the while simultaneously working to get as many nations under his banner as possible

egwene: unite the tower as uncontested amyrlin

perrin: finish wolf training; fold the whitecloaks into his army

mat: rescue moiraine (only requires 1 episode); get himself in charge of the seanchan forces

elayne: become uncontested queen of andor

so if s4 ends where i speculate, they'd all be perfectly positioned to spend 4-6 episodes of s5 doing these things, then the last battle for the remaining 2-4 episodes, and boom, we've fit all the most crucial things into only 5 seasons.

i know the instinct is to gasp and insist that they all have so much else to do, but.........do they really? everybody agrees that egwene & elayne & perrin only have 1 plotline during books 7-11 which is dragged out for more books than is needed to tell it, so mat and rand are really the sticking points. but if you think about it, mat spends this time repeatedly starting one plotline but then getting yanked out of it partway through to start a new one, so he doesn't actually accomplish that much story-wise. rand, meanwhile, is on a bunch of little 1-book quests (taking illian, seanchan campaign, hunting traitor asha'man, trying to meet with DOTNM) that could be cut for time or merged into his Darth Rand emotional arc from TGS. honestly, he's so emotionally stagnant for most of books 7-11 (he's either not present, dicking around doing nothing, or repeating emotional beats he already did in TSR-LOC) that i don't think going from dumai's wells straight to Darth Rand would be a bad idea at all, if the show had to; in fact, dumai's wells is kind of a perfect launchpoint for that arc, emotions-wise, and plot-wise, if they wanted to replace some of the arad doman events with some slog events, but just put the Darth Rand emotional spin on those slog events, they could easily do so (for example, him being reckless/arrogant with callandor against the seanchan and getting his own people killed could sub in for natrin's barrow in showing how ruthlessly Ends Justify Means he's becoming).

but anyway, these are imo the absolute most crucial pre-TLB plot points of the second half of the series (at least for these main characters, i'm not taking ALL characters into account in this post) and they could be fit into only 5 seasons without much trouble. now if you've got 6, 7, or 8 seasons, that gives extra room to expand these plot points and also add in some additional, not-strictly-required-but-nice-to-have plot points like more Little Rand Quests, elayne taking the throne of cairhien, egwene & gawyn hunting assassins in the tower, and the faile kidnapping plotline. (while making this post i actually had a wild thought of the faile kidnapping being perrin's s4 plotline followed by wolves & whitecloak stuff in s5 then into TLB, or alternately the whitecloaks being part of the kidnapping plotline as perrin's unlikely allies rather than the seanchan; could be a great structure for a 5-6 season scenario, but for 7-8 it would cause perrin to run out of content too quickly haha)

[anthurak]

Okay so I mentioned this as part of a bigger post a few years back, but I thought it would be worth bringing it up again.

Thus far, each of the three Maidens we've been introduced to not only each have a connection to one of Team RWBY, but all share a very SPECIFIC narrative link:

Obviously Winter is Weiss's older sister and Raven is Yang's mother, but they have ALSO served as important foils and even ideological antagonists. Raven of course ended up being the main antagonist to Yang in Volume 5, even if their actually 'fight' was a verbal one. And while Weiss and Winter never came into direct conflict, we nonetheless see them (particularly Winter) struggle with how much they seem to be on ever-more opposite sides in Volumes 7 and 8.

It's also clear that for both Winter and Raven, a MAJOR part of their character growth coming out of that conflict was to essentially follow the example of Weiss and Yang respectively.

And of course, it's pretty clear that the same is/will-be true of Cinder and Ruby. Cinder is the great ideological opposite of Ruby; the girl determined to be optimistic and see the best in people pitted against a girl who has spent her whole life knowing nothing but the absolute worst of people.

So if this trend continues, we should be seeing a Summer Maiden with the same thematic link to Blake. And I think it's pretty clear that we've already got a perfect candidate:

Ilia.

It's actually fascinating just how perfectly Ilia's character arc in relation to Blake parallels Winter's arc to Weiss and Raven's arc to Yang. Just like them, Ilia was only a major personal and ideological antagonist to Blake, and now sees Blake as a role model.

So yeah, I'd say seeing Ilia Amitola becoming the Summer Maiden sooner or later is pretty likely. Not to mention it seems rather natural that we'd see a faunus maiden at some point.

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #42 | 6.25.24 ๋࣭⭑

tis the season of Kayn

HAPPY SUMMER!!

Hope you're all doing well and keeping cool <3 I know for me it's started getting to.... the Hot Season. To celebrate the start of Hot Girl Summer (and the beta route going live), I of course had to draw the hottest girl, Kayn.

we must stay cool brothers

Now that we've paid respect to The Hot Girl, let's get into the devlog!

Writing has been fun this month. A lot of it has been dedicated to Etza edits and writing Kuna'a's route. We're getting to about the halfway mark with Etza edits, so we are definitely chugging along!

Sneaky peeky of a recent edit

For Kuna'a's route, I said I wanted to have his first draft complete or almost complete by the next devlog, and I'm VERY PLEASED AND PROUD to say their first draft is In Fact almost complete! This is, of course, the very, very first draft so I'll be going back in to flesh some scenes out here and there and rizz him up even more. But I'm happy with the fact that at least the very base draft is done ^^

This month, I did quite a bit of drawing actually! I finished rendering two of Kayn's CGs, meaning 8 out of their total 9 CGs are finished YYYEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!

it feels so good to see the ending cg titles ouuggHHHH

Because Fenir's beta will be going out soon, I wanted to make some headway on his CGs. This month, I ended up finishing 3 of his CGs and sketching two. I'd really like to get 5-6 of his CGs finished so that it's a similar amount to Kayn's beta, so here's to praying!

baby girl

I also finished Senja's (they/he) sprite and base expressions. His outfit was designed by very talented bestie @saffein-e so please thank them for doing god's work o7

Finally, this past month we worked mostly on Kayn's beta route and getting Fenir's beta route ready for Patreon access!

If you'd like to try out Kayn's beta, you can get access to it if you subscribe to my Patreon (tier Hydra). Beta access to Kayn's route will close as soon as Fenir's beta goes up which will be early July, so if you want to experience Kayn's beta, definitely make sure you subscribe before it ends!

Player feedback for Kayn's route so far has been really positive, which has been a relief, especially since Kayn's route is the first one I wrote so is arguably the roughest (I have a big soft spot for it and like it, but I'm obviously Biased). So I hope you're all looking forward to it!! <4

beta feedback: so real

I also have started the voice acting sessions for the characters, which is EXTREMELY EXCITING!! That's the last asset I need basically, so the fact we have finally entered a stage where we can start recording is crazy. Our current session is for Kayn's route, but in the coming months we'll be moving to the next routes similar to how beta-testing is going :')

Aside from Kayn's route, I've also been working on coding Fenir's beta route. Rereading his script and he's... a cutie, I'll admit. So I hope the Fenir fans are excited for his route to enter the beta phase!

LET'S.......... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Last thing, but I also ran a poll on Alaris's release, basically asking whether you all would prefer a full or segmented release. The results were basically 50/50 LMFAO and that's the vibe I've been getting in general. So while I don't want to solidify anything yet, just let it be known that Alaris may end up having a segmented release, where the first four Central routes are released first, and the Fae routes a bit later. I'll see how I start feeling as the year goes on and where Alaris stands, but thank you all for the support and understanding for the poll <3

I was pretty busy this month, so I didn't have too much time to do market research :cries:

But............

I did see the new Haikyuu movie..................... And I am the biggest Haikyuu fan. Quite literally if you want to know everything about who I am as a person and creator, watch Haikyuu and you will understand who I am to my deepest depths.

obviously I had to draw baby

But aside from that, I want to give one last shoutout to our Hot Girl Summer cross-promo! If there are any games you haven't tried out in this little set, I highly recommend giving at least 1 or 2 of them a peek! All of the games are so charming and have some similarity to Alaris, whether it's a personality mechanic, hot Fae, or a fantasy/ adventure story :')

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

I'm pretty happy with the progress we made this month. While there's still a lot to do, it's satisfying to see Alaris come more and more to life with each month. See you all next month with hopefully more exciting progress!

[dragonform]

Lurking on some Ninjago communities is driving me batty, so let me just get this out here.

"oLd NinJaGO wAs BetTeR"

"JuSt LeT nINjaGo dIE"

Look, buddy. Lemme tell you a story. (Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one.)

Last year, my kid Ry was six years old. Prime Ninjago age. He had already started watching Lego shows, and in fact already loved the dragon sets from Ninjago (we got him the sets for 4+ years the moment he was old enough to follow the instructions), but was a bit hesitant to start the show because some of it looked scary.

We started with Dragons Rising, because it was new at the time and Netflix was pushing it. As we watched, we got the sense that there was a lot of history behind it. My husband and I already knew Ninjago had been around for a while, having seen the sets in shops. So I looked up the history of the show to see how much we needed to catch up on.

"15 seasons!?" I yelped to my husband.

"Has it been around that long???" he responded.

We were happy, of course, that Ry had found a nice long Lego show to watch (we generally love Lego shows in this house, they all seem to be of much higher quality than other kids' tv shows out there. But I digress.)

We started from Season 1. Somewhere around Skybound (yes, ok, I know), it dawned on me that not only was Ry enjoying the show, I was enjoying the show. The scenes looked ridiculously cinematic, larger in scale than what Lego Minifigures should reasonably deliver. The action and fight scenes were ridiculously complex and fluid for little square plastic people. The faces far more expressive than what's basically an emoji printed on yellow plastic should allow for. And the characters and writing? Light years more compelling than any Hollywood superhero movie in recent memory.

"This show is ridiculous," I said to my husband, amazed.

One year later, we've collected almost all the sets we could find, and Ninjago is officially our favorite show in the entire household. Not Dragons Rising. Ninjago. All of it, from beginning to end, including the pilots and Day of the Departed (in both English and Chinese), all of it. Ask Ry if he prefers "old Ninjago" or Dragons Rising, and he'll tell you old Ninjago without hesitation. But he will cheerfully rewatch DR anytime. (We're rewatching DR S1 for the fourth time as I write this.)

What I'm trying to say is, you (imaginary OG Ninjago fan) may not like Dragons Rising, but it's how kids nowadays are discovering old Ninjago. To say it should end just because you don't like the changes? Is basically saying you're so selfish you don't want to share your childhood with the kids of today. Old Ninjago isn't going anywhere. You can rewatch it anytime. I hate New Ducktales because I grew up with Old Ducktales (jeez, now everyone knows how old I am) but I don't wish they never made New Ducktales. There's a whole new generation waiting to discover the same joy and wonder you felt watching your favorite shows. Let them watch it.

And before you say my kid and I are the exception, have you been to Legoland lately? The Ninjago rooms and ride haven't been updated since the Tournament of Elements. That's 2015 - almost a decade ago. And you know what? At our Legoland, the Ninjago rooms still go for a premium because the demand is so high. The Ninjago ride still boasts one of the longest queues in the whole of Legoland. The kids' t-shirts sell like hotcakes.

Just yesterday, at the mall, I watched a random girl, about 8 years old, sit down and pull out a copy of The Book of Elemental Powers (released in 2021) and read it. Ry has a copy of the same book.

Kids nowadays love old Ninjago AND new Ninjago. I don't know who needs to hear this, but it's right here for whoever does.

Ninjago is amazing and I wish it many long years ahead for the generations to come.

[littlerosetrove]

This is not an anti or hater post, but this is definitely a critical post about Eddie.

This gets long so it's under a cut.

Suffice it to say I did not care for the kitchen scene between Eddie and Buck. Out of nowhere Eddie is accusing Buck of making Bobby's death (everything) about Buck, when we've seen zero evidence of that. Rather, we've seen/been told that Buck is checking in on everyone else. Then add in that Eddie made the whole thing about him, actually. Saying "well did you ask how I felt hearing the news" and even low-key implying Buck didn't do enough to save Bobby [simply] because Eddie wasn't there. Idk Eddie, did you ever ask Buck how it felt to literally be there when Bobby died, and having Bobby tell Buck to walk away, or any of that? Have you asked anyone how they felt about that day? And let's not forget Eddie physically advancing on Buck. That was not okay.

The writers wanted conflict, for some reason, between Eddie and Buck, but they went about it in a confusing way. Eddie had just been in a scene with Hen and Karen talking about how Buck is checking in on people, then to jump to that? It made no sense. It made Eddie look very out of line, and just a dick.

Multiple times now in this show, twice in season 8, Eddie has lashed out at Buck saying "you always make things about yourself," or calling him exhausting, and belittling Buck's feelings. And then he goes on to never truly apologize. It's often a sort of acknowledgement that Eddie did something wrong, but, To Me, not an outright apology. I know that this is "just how Buck and Eddie work together" or whatever, but as I'll get into, this is a pattern of behavior I'd like the show to address.

I cannot remember Eddie ever saying "I'm sorry," especially to Buck, even though Buck is not the only one Eddie has lashed out at like this. This most recent time, Eddie did band-aid thing by bringing in Chris and Pepa as a buffer to "smooth things over." Eddie briefly referring to himself in the third person and saying "heard someone was being a dick" is not an apology, and if you think it is, boy are you wrong. At best it was the start of an acknowledgement that Eddie did something wrong, but not an apology. And please recognize that using his son as some buffer like this is a little messed up. It's also not the first time Eddie has used Chris as a buffer like this.

Let's also not forget that, Eddie isn't stupid, so he knew how leaving a note like that would make Buck feel. I don't care that Eddie came back some hours later, it was a needlessly stupid and, intentional or not, cruel thing to do. Did Buck know he was coming back? No, he didn't. Like, what the hell Eddie? I didn't care for Eddie trying to play it off like not a big deal, either.

And my goodness, we've literally only had Tía Pepa on screen asking Buck how he's doing, and no one else??? Wait, Maddie once, but Buck did deflect.

Now I wouldn't go as far as calling it abusive behavior from Eddie, but it is most definitely shitty behavior. And it's shitty behavior that's never properly addressed, rather, treated as "it is what it is" so far in canon. This show and these writers need to do better because frankly, they are enshitifying (pointed out by @bucksboobs) Eddie by doing this. At this point, I don't care that almost each time Eddie has lashed out at anyone that he's going through something big, that is not an excuse. It's a crappy pattern of his character, and I wish the writers would allow Eddie to work on this.

To provide some perspective at least, not once in all the nearly 15 years that my husband and I have been married have we ever raised our voices at each other or lashed out in any way, at any point. Yes we've have times where things were tense, for one reason or another, but we still never took out our frustration out on each other. Personally, I don't know why anyone would want to yell at their partner, but maybe that's just me.

As well, I too have lost several people in my life, and not once did I ever lash out at people because of my grief, certainly not almost physically (I want to acknowledge both Bobby and Chimney have gotten physical with Buck once in the past. One time Buck checked Eddie playing basketball, but that was an accident and an outlier. Buck apologized and was reprimanded by both Maddie and Chimney.). Eddie has an issue that needs to stop being treated as something "understandable because he's upset" or whatever. No, it's a flaw and it needs to be addressed, especially if the character is sticking around.

As bucksboobs has pointed out in a post, what other characters have acted like this and been allowed to get away with it continuously? None of them, except Eddie. Frankly this issue, the Kim issue, his grief over Shannon, and the fact that Eddie has not been a good partner to all three women we've seen on screen, needs to be addressed. I'll be honest, I don't have high hopes they will for any of these points, but holy shit I wish they would.

In regards to Buck, frankly I'm tired of Eddie belittling or just ignoring Bucks feelings. While it's not "a lot" in the grand scheme of things, Eddie has still done this enough times now for it to be a noticeable pattern (pressing on the issue where Buck always feels like a burden). Buck had to apologize for having feelings and the fact that he's grieving, to Eddie, when he never should have to.

Particularly this season, it's highlighting to me how this is not a balanced or equal friendship, but a lopsided one. This is not an example of two friends being able to open up to, let alone being comfortable with each other. No, instead, multiple times now in this show we've seen Buck trying to be open and vulnerable, and Eddie essentially punishing him for doing so. Eddie has been a shitty friend. Me pointing this out is not babying Buck, but just pointing out facts that are happening in canon.

Oh, and then add in Eddie wanting to weasel out of telling Buck he may be staying in El Paso, because Eddie thinks Buck will be... mad? Why? Buck already accepted that Eddie moved to be with Chris and made peace with that. There is no issue there. I found that element dumb as well.

I used to ship Buddie, but I can't imagine wanting to ship them now (y'all do you, I'm not telling anyone what to do), not with how Eddie treats Buck. It's already crappy enough how Eddie has been treating his supposed best friend, but then to pair them romantically? Nah, no thanks. There is nothing remotely romantic about how Eddie has treated Buck, once again especially this season. And to briefly bring in Tommy to the conversation, if Tommy had treated Buck this way, I would immediately stop shipping them. Unfairly and unnecessarily accusing Buck of making Bobby's death about himself and then physically advancing on him like that? I would not tolerate or enjoy it.

I genuinely want better for Eddie, for his character to actually have some self reflection and growth. But for whatever reason, the writers and Tim just refuse to give that to him. Looking back, the last time I think I really loved Eddie was in season 5; he was my favorite character. But this season, even season 7, and to a lesser degree of season 6 he's just not the Eddie I really loved. I'm disappointed and frustrated with him.

And something @zainclaw said, this is supposed to be a feel good, found family show. But it's not really feeling like that when we're even having this discussion - the topic at hand - of a character that has a pattern of having one too many shitty moments and behavior, but it never being worked on, let alone even acknowledged in the show. All these characters are flawed, yes, but this show is supposed to be about growth too, and we're just not getting that from Eddie, and we haven't for at least three seasons now.

In relation to all this, Eddie wants to set a better example for Chris, right? Work on toxic masculinity and all that. Well a few things Eddie is not doing so great in is his tendency to not (often enough) take accountability for his actions, lashing out at people when he's feeling big emotions, not properly dealing with his grief (re: Shannon), and his tendency to not properly apologize with even a simple "I'm sorry" to people. In some form or another, these are things Chris can and will pick up on both consciously and subconsciously. These are story and character opportunities, for Eddie and Chris alike in terms of growth, but alas.....

Idk, I guess the TL;DR is that while I don't think Eddie is an abuser or a bad person, but he does have some flaws that I'd really like this show and writers to address and have Eddie legitimately work on. He's been stagnant for at least three seasons now, so let him actually learn and grow ffs. I put the blame for all this on the writers and Tim for either, somehow, not seeing these flaws/problems, or seeing them and 1) not caring to do anything about them, or 2) not seeing them as problems and thus not doing anything.

[thefirstknife]

so, with act 3 put into perspective (and, further, echoes + the old model) how much hope should we actually have for the next episode being better from a storytelling perspective?

the stories themselves have still been great imo, even if I have a few hangups about revenant myself, but the sudden switch in formats made the pacing extremely weird and I think the story suffered for it.

and I'm 100% in agreement about the media literacy issues in some parts of this community. I think some of that wouldn't be as bad with better pacing where people have to actually think about it before immediately getting an answer, but ofc the people that are rushing would still get one somewhere else (eg. leaks, youtube, etc) and probably go into it with an equally fixed idea of what they want to see.

I think rushing to change the release schedule when the episode was already mostly developed was an awful, awful decision. I understand they want to listen to their community but I think it could've/should've waited until they were structuring it with the new schedule in mind

I don't have the same amount of perspective for what could be, though. I've watched playthroughs of the whole game so far, but I didn't actually start sinking money into expansions until ~last August, so I feel semi uncomfortable weighing in since I don't really know the difference (ie. how seasons used to be.)

I've tried to look but I've been a little lost. What do we know about Bungie's plans for next ep?

thanks :)

Yeah the release schedule stuff has been very rough for Revenant. I believe it was more or less unanimously disliked. It definitely didn't help with the literacy or with people wanting to be engaged with the story, despite the story being really good.

Personally for me, the best schedule was Echoes. I don't really mind 8-ish weeks of story in a row we've had before that, but in Echoes it really felt nice to me to have an act of 3 weeks and then 3 weeks to chill and think about it and craft theories and keep the fandom alive. It was a nice cadence to me, not too long and not too short. I would like to see more of that, but I doubt it's happening.

Before that, seasons had between 7-9 weeks worth of story and it would be delivered week-by-week in a row at the start of the season. So first two months of the season were story each week. Some seasons had finales with epilogue happening at the end which would usually be some kind of special mini story update for the last week with a mission or something like that. It felt fairly cramped, depending on the story, and sometimes it also didn't get the pacing right because some weeks would be more packed than others. A lot of people complained that it felt very FOMO that you had to log in so many weeks in a row, despite the fact that you could play these weeks whenever you wanted so you could wait for the story to be over and then play all weeks at once. It definitely felt busier, but also sometimes very exhausting. This is why I enjoyed the 3 by 3 week pacing a lot.

Heresy wise, from the end of the year developer update:

Additionally, we’ve been evaluating feedback from Revenant’s content rollout, and we’ve made changes to Heresy that strike a better balance between everything dropping on day one of an Act vs. meaningful reasons to return throughout the Episode. We’re taking an approach where the vast majority of the activities content will be available on the first day of an Act and subsequent weeks will add or evolve the content based on the story. Also, we’re adjusting the Act rollout schedule so that there is less downtime in the gameplay calendar later in the Episode. Heresy will be our last season in the Episode format.

Genuinely unsure what this will entail. We seem to be getting a whole act at once again, but there will be more stuff that will require coming back next weeks and there will be less downtime between acts? If I'm understanding it correctly. But without seeing it, we don't know what that means. "Vast majority of the activities" will be available right away, but "subsequent weeks will add or evolve content based on the story." Perhaps there will be additional story-related subquests that will pop up in the weeks between acts maybe? Like fieldworks but different? I don't think we'll know until we get there. Probably spoilery to explain it in more detail.

My hope is that they had more time to adjust the way the story functions with the release schedule they're going for so that it'll feel a little more natural than Revenant did. I don't necessarily mind bigger drops on day 1, my main issue was a long waiting period in between and how that day 1 drop feels like. Because of the experience with Echoes and seasons before that, I kinda have an instinctive feel of how "long" things should be, so with Revenant I kept overthinking it and trying to "sort" the story into weeks, without much success. What would've been week 2 in act 1? No clue. I'd like that for Heresy it'll be a little bit better organised.

Generally it doesn't impact my enjoyment of the story almost at all as it's fairly easy for me to adjust to the feel of it and chalk it up to the technical issues as usual and just accept it and move on. But I would vastly prefer if seasonal stories were crafted with the schedule in mind because it always simply feels better to experience them as they were designed to be experienced. Really hoping that they had enough time to do that for Heresy and that it won't make people pass, ignore or dislike a good story because of it.

[autumngracy]

So my county (Orange County, New York) is in a drought rn with no real end in sight; it's been two and half months since we got any substantial rain, and in that time it's only lightly drizzled for a maybe a few hours, like twice.

There is currently a wildfire burning close by, which has burned over 2000 acres already and was started by a guy in New Jersey illegally firing tracer bullets (which contain magnesium) at the Central Jersey Firing Range. (He has since been charged with arson.)

This morning, the sky was red at sunrise. The air quality is getting steadily worse. The wildfires are a 0% containment. A firefighter has already died because of a tree falling on him. People are worried about the fire (which is burning on BOTH sides of the Hudson) reaching large residential areas nearby.

The only thing that can help us now is rain, but it has to be a slow and steady rain, because the ground is so dry and hard-packed that if we get a heavy rainfall, the ground will not be able to absorb it fast enough, and it will cause flash flooding.

There was a massive flash flood last year, considered a "once in a thousand years" event, that damaged or destroyed a huge amount of infrastructure, roads, and buildings in this area, many of which still have not been fully repaired or protected from further storm damage.

About 30% of the land at our house was literally washed away down the creek that runs though it, which had been at a trickle before, and turned into a 8 foot flood surge in the course of few hours.

The government had promised disaster relief money for our town (and surrounding towns) due to the damage from this event, but later, after much of the repair had already gotten underway, backed out and left the towns to foot the bill themselves.

My family would have been completely financially devastated if we had been forced to pay for the repairs to our property (we're talking like, over a million dollars of damage; SEVERAL times what the property is worth), but because there were key public infrastructure elements running through it (a storm drain, a sewer manhole, and an overpass for the road that went over the creek) the town ended up paying for ALL of the repairs, because they were all issues that needed to be fixed immediately and affected everyone in the town.

I am so fucking worried right now that either the wildfires are going to reach us, or rain comes in time to stave them off but it comes too heavy and causes another massive flash flood.

I need people to understand how completely bonkers it is that this is happening in this area. Like. I've lived here for around 15 years and that WHOLE time this area has only ever had like, one other official drought, and only for like, a day or two. We are RIGHT on the Hudson river, with creeks running all over, but the creeks have mostly dried up, we've been under a Red Flag burn ban for weeks, and our town is having a water shortage.

Also, besides the lack of rain, it's the second fucking week of November, but we've been having days in the high 60's, 70's, and even 80's, and there's only been a few days recently that dropped down into 50's, 40's or 30's, and only in the coolest parts of the night.

I've only had to wear an actual coat so far this season like, twice. It was in the high 70's and low to mid 80's all through the week of Halloween. When I stood in line for 2+ hours to vote, during sunset, it was balmy out. The previous presidential election, at the same location and time, had been so cold that I'd been freezing despite many layers of warm clothing, and I couldn't feel my extremities by the time I was able to cast my vote. But last week? It was BALMY.

There are still flowers blooming and putting out buds. There are tomatoes ripening on the vine. There are still flying insects outside. All these things should have been getting hit by frost like a month ago and started the process of going dormant. Now, if cold does suddenly hit, it's probably going to shock and kill off a lot of plant life.

This shit is NOT normal. Climate change is real.

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

God Is An A****** And Other Life Updates

Dear Future Husband,

2024 was supposed to be my "year of health." Or at least, that's what I decided towards the end of 2023 when everything I ate was upsetting my digestive system and I was convinced I had developed some weird tumor or something. But suddenly, out of the blue, I had health insurance (I don't think I've told that story yet....) and so it seemed like 2024 would be the year I could just get myself in order.

Well, it's now December 2024 and I can confidently tell you the lie detector determined THAT was a lie.

Not only was it not my year of health, it has in fact been quite the opposite.

At this point I don't know if I'll ever get back to that draft about the beginning of this year, so I'll just tell you - in January I had a bad fall and broke my arm, which led to surgery, PT, and essentially three months of being unable to work.

Which leads me to include that 2024 was also supposed to be my year of financial stability.

Oh, if you could hear the raucous laughter in my mind right now.

Why did I ever assume Hashem would finally grant me one good year? The entirety of my relationship with Him is built on the confidence that I'm his punching bag.

Why do I even still allow myself hope? It always just ends in heartbreak.

So January I injured myself.

February I had surgery.

March I had PT.

April I finally started driving again, and I was back at work but still couldn't do heavy lifting which severely crippled my abilities to do my job.

Now, back in January, a few days before I fell and maimed myself, I got a speeding ticket from a highway speed camera that was outside of a work zone but claimed to be in a work zone. I was just trying to keep up with traffic and I have no idea how nobody else got ticketed. Maybe cuz they weren't in the lane closest to the camera.

Well, I alerted MotherLivelyHeart to the ticket before it even arrived in the mail because I'd seen the flash when I was driving, and had full intentions of paying it.

But then I was out of work for like three months and all the funds I'd had up until that point dwindled while paying bills so that when the ticket came in the mail, I couldn't afford the $30.

Based on our conversation about it, I was under the impression MotherLivelyHeart was going to cover it, since the car is in her name (I think I've discussed this nonsense), and I'd pay her back when I was working again.

But come MAY and it's still not paid and now they've increased the fine.

Great.

So since I was working again, I paid all $42 of it.

And now it's December. And it's been SEVEN MONTHS.

SEVEN MONTHS where we've had radio silence, as far as I'm aware.

And NOW, SEVEN MONTHS LATER, they've sent us a message in the mail that the car has been flagged because of the citation in January/May and with the flags on the car we can't renew the license plate or something.

WTF.

Oh, but wait, the story gets better, because of course it gets better.

I discussed briefly in my last post that I was going away for a month and a half this summer. I can't go into the details of why I went away, but what was supposed to be 6 weeks ended up being 12 weeks.

That's 12 weeks of bliss away from MotherLivelyHeart but also 12 weeks of not working.

So in total this year, I've worked approximately 26 weeks. At part time wages. For a business that my boss can't decide if she wants to keep open much longer, so inventory is dwindling and business sucks because we never have anything in stock.

FML.

I've been working for this company for about 8 years as a 1099 employee, except a 1099 is not an employee, it's an independent contractor... but I'm an employee. And basically the only employee. Which I just found out makes my 1099 filing essentially illegal, since there are some benefits that employees are supposed to have which is why it's a different filing of w2.

FML.

But getting back to the whole "I basically work full time in a part time job position" thing... I didn't make a lot in 2023. And with bills to pay, I didn't have a lot in January to begin with, but with my January wages I should have had enough to pay my taxes.

Except that in January, the beginning of my new year of financial stability, Hashem caused me not just an injury but a work-stopping injury. Which means I not only had to stop working while still paying bills, but the money that I had originally allotted for my taxes was not only not there, but also not enough.

So FMFL.

But wait, it gets better.

I created an account with the IRS's payment portal (id.me or whatever) several years ago and I signed up using my home phone number.

Well, BigSis was the one who paid the bill for the phone line and at some point she stopped paying it, which meant that when I tried to log into my IRS account to see what my options were or try to make a partial payment, it wouldn't accept my information because I couldn't confirm my phone number because I no longer had access to it.

Great.

So I tried to do the other things it wanted with photos of my state license and passport and it stuck me in a loop and wouldn't accept either of them.

GREAT.

So there I was, injured, in pain, not working, not able to keep most foods down, my tiny allotted funds dwindling, and not able to log into my IRS account to figure out what to do.

So yeah, it ended up getting back-burnered.

I know it's stupid. I knew it was stupid then and I know it's stupid now.

Especially because last year I made barely $11k at that job and the IRS wants $1,100 of that. Which is to say, they want more from me than I made in a single month.

FML.

I kept getting these update letters in the mail of the IRS adding on interest and increasing the amount, and I somehow hoped that Hashem would show me the way to be able to afford to pay it.

But no.

Because FMFL.

So now I've been notified by the IRS that they want to seize my property.

Over $1100.

But also, what property? I have nothing.

Literally not even the car I drive is in my own name.

So, just to recap:

I've worked approximately 26 weeks this year (part time financially, full time stressfully)

I now owe $1200 to the IRS that I don't have, and that's just for the 2023 taxes, not even including what I'll owe for this year

The car may not be able to be renewed because of the flag for the speeding ticket I got in January that I already paid off and that I've heard NOTHING about for SEVEN MONTHS

Should we keep going? Sure, let's keep going.

SPIRITUALITY

After a nightmare of a year, I can't really explain why but I had some kind of spiritual awakening at the beginning of 5785. I davened more this past R"H and Y"K than I have the past like 10 or 15 years combined, including during the Aseres Yimei Teshuva and through Simchas Torah.

And I decided this would be my year of Bitachon.

I was riding a spiritual high and I had more calm and positivity for about a month than I've had in a long time.

Spoiler alert: that's gone.

One of the things that affected that deeply was that I had one sefer in particular I decided would be my guide this year for all things Bitachon. And less than a month after deciding that, the author of that sefer was diagnosed with Stage-4 Non-Smoker's Lung Cancer.

Do I feel like my personal bad mazal rubbed off on him by mere association? 100000000000000%

WORK

Because things have been weird at work and I'm not sure how much longer my boss will be keeping the business open, I starting looking for a new job.

Using my new found bitachon, I discovered two businesses in my neighborhood that were hiring for a position I could do in my sleep, and were willing to pay well were open.

Such mazal! Hashem must be working His magic!

I had a phone meeting with the first company that was excited to have me in for an interview. We arranged a date and time, and then that day a few hours before I got a text that something came up and they'd like to reschedule.

That was.... a month and ten days ago and I've heard nothing.

The second company called me for an in-person interview which I went to erev Shabbos and thought it went really well. They said they were hoping to hire before Chanukah and they'd be in touch.

That was.... a month and nine days ago and I've heard nothing.

Now, for the second company that could have been my bad. It's been so long since I've had an interview that I forgot the etiquette to send a thank you note afterwards. I also answered the question "what do people critique you the most for" honestly by saying time management. Though I'd think that showing up 10 minutes early to the interview itself would have been enough to assuage that concern. I also did explain that it's something I'm working on and the rest of the conversation seemed to go really positively so I guess it's just Hashem giving me hope again just so He can pull the rug out from under me. Again.

MEDICAL

I started writing about this in its own post and still might but let me just go over the highlights here:

I haven't had insurance for like 5 years.

When I signed up for the insurance originally I selected a DO for my Primary Care Physician because I want a doctor who will treat the whole person and understand how different aspects of the body interplay with each other when it comes to diagnosis.

Well, fast forward to me suddenly having insurance for the first time out of the blue motzei yom kippur (if that wasn't a bad omen....), the DO I selected five years ago is no longer accepting new patients.

Fine. I'll look into new doctors. Whatever.

Except, no! Because then I broke my arm.

And did you know that before surgery you need a workup done by your PCP?

And did you know that if the doctor listed on your insurance isn't accepting new patients, you have to run around like a nut last minute to find someone who will do a workup so you can get emergency surgery?

In the end I went with a local urgent care that could handle that kind of thing.

Fun.

And when I was finally clearheaded enough after the surgery (which took over a month, mind you) I scheduled a new patient appointment with the other DO in the same practice as the first one I'd chosen (five years ago). She was booked out until October.

Fun.

So, fine, I scheduled for October.

Then I went away for the summer and in September I got a voicemail from the doctor's office that the doctor would be leaving the practice at the end of October and did I still want a new patient appointment with someone I wouldn't be able to see past that month?

Mygod.

I went back and forth with the staff of this place several times before we decided I'd go with the new patient appointment anyway to at least get preliminary stuff out of the way and start a series of blood tests to try and figure out what the hell is wrong with me physically.

I had one appointment with her, got bloodwork done, and October was over.

My files were switched to another doctor in the practice who could read the results of the blood tests and order more if needed. Which she did.

And all the results have come back inconclusive.

Because getting an actual answer is just too much to ask for, I guess.

Oh, and also the doctor I'm working with now is about to go on maternity leave and once she comes back she'll be working from a new location that's almost an hour from where I live.

FML

And that's not even everything. That's just what I have the energy to write right now.

I'm so tired of this life.

I'm tired of having hope and being let down constantly.

I'm tired of financial stuff being the literal bane of my existence.

I'm tired of being tired.

I'm so over this life that my brain has just stopped recording information.

One of the things the doctor set me up with in October was a collaborative care thing associated with the medical practice that's supposed to help get me on a good path mentally, so I've been working with a therapist, but we've met maybe 4 times and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be getting out of these sessions other than explaining to her how my circumstances just absolutely suck over and over again in more detail.

Except that every week or two weeks she asks me how I've been since our last session and I literally can't remember what I've done or how I've felt.

I'm just so over all of this nonsense.

I keep doing things to try to give myself purpose in this world, like what I was doing over the summer, or reconnecting with this high school friend that I've been spending time with on the weekends lately, or helping out old acquaintances who just had babies, but all I feel like I'm doing is creating a larger pool of people to mourn for me when I'm gone because none of them know the real me.

I'm not suicidal but I do just wish I'd die already.

I don't see the purpose in any of this life.

I'm stressed beyond stress and Hashem isn't helping.

I feel like I've been set up for failure and if failure is my goal, then I'm the most successful failure that's ever existed.

I'm still broke.

I don't know if I'll have a job in a few weeks.

The IRS wants to seize my nonexistent property.

I may not have a car to drive soon.

Nobody knows what's wrong with me medically.

Every goddamn tap in my apartment has issues (literally my shower, toilet, bathroom sink, and kitchen sink all have problems).

My ceiling is still open to the elements. (yep, that's still a thing)

Oh, and I lost 40lbs this year between January and June, and gained basically all of that back since September.

FMFL.

Can it just be over already?

Sorry, I'm not in a good place right now, my dear future husband.

I mean, you're a fantasy anyway, so who even cares.

-LivelyHeart

Every day in harachaman in bensching we say

"וְאַל תַּצְרִיכֵנוּ ה' אֱלֹקֵינוּ לֹא לִידֵי מַתְּנַת בָּשָׂר וָדָם וְלֹא לִידֵי הַלְוָאַתָם, כִּי אִם לְיָדְךָ הַמְּלֵאָה הַפְּתוּחָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה וְהָרְחָבָה".

"Do not make us dependent, Hashem our God, on the gifts of flesh and blood or on their loans, but only on Your full, open, holy, and generous hand."

And yet... Hashem has not provided for me, despite my begging and pleading. Despite my davening and working really hard on bensching after every meal.

We also say "פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת יָדֶךָ וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכָל חַי רָצוֹן" both in bensching and in davening - "You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living being."

And yet, my desire is to not be in debt with the threat of losing things. But somehow, here I am, and where is God?

So maybe random strangers are the tools of Hashem, and relying on you all is really me relying on Hashem "working in mysterious ways" or whatever.

I don't know, but if you care and have anything to share, I have a cashapp: $HaShemshouldblessyou