#AND SHE KEEPS TELLING JOKES

[gay-edwardian]

Do people on Tumblr listen to The Bugle/Gargle/Last Post? Idk. But people NEED to know about D'Ancey LaGuarde because 1) they would do numbers on Tumblr and 2) I think the woman behind them is so smart and funny and she deserves all the success in the world.

Just listen to a few of the synopses! D'Ancey is a reclusive genderqueer erotic novelist who has a penchant for Isambard Kingdom Brunel and is sort of able to travel dimensions and can, more impressively, publish one book approximately every four days. Their name is spelt that way because it was funny to look at and no one expected the listeners to have to spell it.

And for a more doylist (but no less enthused) explanation of D'Ancey's work:

In 2019 Austrailian comedian Alice Fraser committed to doing a daily satirical news podcast for Every Single Day of 2020. But there's a catch, it's not in our world. She calls it "the most final of worlds" but there are certainly some key differences. For example, The Wiggles are the government of Italy through a glitch in the voting process that allowed babies on iPads to vote and people who are definitely one thing in our world are a totally different thing, such as the unsuccessful children's party Neil Gaiman impersonator and successful Neil Gaiman ghostwriter @neil-gaiman (I hope he doesn't mind me tagging him here, he did actually appear in episodes 336, 342, and 365). The episodes are only 15 minutes or so each and they all include Alice and her co-host for the episode breaking down a few news headlines of the day (the absurdity of those headlines varies from "hey that happened in our world" to "oh this is bonkers"), answer listener questions (or rather, get annoyed with the listeners for "asking stupid questions"), and most importantly for this case, run ads.

The most common ad is for Half a Glass of Water but that's not what I'm here to talk about. Starting at episode 9, every four episodes or so would include one of the above synopses, summaries that would force Alice to fight off giggles even though she was the one who wrote them (she always insists that she reads the ads exactly as D'Ancey sent them to her). And then The Last Post ended. The world became a post apocalyptic wasteland and the only source of news, a woman floating in her podcasting satellite, ran off into space with the glitch in the spacetime continuum.

But then Alice started a new satirical news podcast, The Gargle. This one is weekly and set in our actual world. She covers news that doesn't have to do with politics (people being arrested for stupid things, scientists being freaks, etc.) but has continued to run her own ads for Half a Glass of Water and (much to my delight) D'Ancey LaGuarde novels.

And now we're getting a book. Not a romance novel, mind you, but The D'Ancey LaGuarde Reader.

I am currently re-listening to The Last Post and while I would recommend it to anyone it is also very very long, despite having quite short episodes. Someone with more sense than I could probably assemble a list of the major plot points so that one could get the full scope of the story without having to listen to over 300 episodes.

[soapydoll]

Having DID while everyone gets into severance is wild. “,could you IMAGINE living a life where you only exist to perform one specific mundane task or job and then all your other memories are erased wouldn’t that be SICK AND TWISTED AND EVIL” um. T. That would be. Crazy.

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms

ANYWAYS

A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.

The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.

“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.

“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”

Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…

The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”

The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”

The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”

“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”

The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.

Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.

One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.

This… might require some phone calls.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Don't Wormy About Me.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[umblrspectrum]

updated some ref sheets and also actually made jcj one

[lesbianjackies]

so like the thesis of yj is not #girlboss #shedidnothingwrong #goodforher actually. i fear the point is that women and girls can be fucked up and do awful shit and experience trauma and get their hands dirty too. i fear that “misty quigley and shauna shipman did nothing wrong” it is not the feminist take you think it is

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

[waterghostype]

not so tall now are you

[inkdoe]

“Ah, they don’t kiss in the game? Fine I’ll do that myself.”

[menlove]

I've gone 25 years without knowing I'm ambidextrous you're shitting me rn

[book-lover85]

Stay at home dad and artist on commission Keefe

[sleepyheadnat]

Something I really like about Immortal Tatsu is how, amidst all the comedy and satire, it seems very genuine about paying its respects to the people who do housework as their main occupation.

They keep their households running, prepare delicious food for their families, but are rarely recognized for it. People will even humiliate them for "not doing anything", "not being independent", or "just doing chores", when their jobs are so incredibly vital, and they aren't even paid for it.

[365sadiekane]

I highly doubt the kane kids went to the trouble to rounding up everyone for voicelines to record the initial audio versions of their adventures so ofc that means they do terrible impressions of everyone except themselves

[crazyhickofftheirrocker]

Don't think I've ever seen a more sunshine-and-rainbows version of Lisa Swain in the entire time she's been with Carla (or on CS in general) than the woman skipping around the flat today.

Refuses to go off work when she's seriously injured but she is going absolutely no more than two feet away from her seriously ill girlfriend if she can help it

[carlyraejepsans]

Domestic 1 and/or 2 *bats eyelashes*

hiii jackie

iv.1 When they move in together, who gets the most say in decorations? What do they each have to have in the house?

trick question, papyrus does it instead.

honestly i feel like the bros just manifest their house on the surface and have toriel move in, so pretty much nothing changes. maybe the decor gets progressively more weird the more they live and explore the surface and they accumulate dozens of souvenirs and tourist trinkets while traveling.

iv.2 If they get married, who proposes, and how do they do it? Would they change their surnames?

well as per my magnum opus, it's "know any puns about proposing?", but i am also quite fond of the way my dad went about it, which was waking up at 5am in the morning, turning to my mother in bed and going "hey, you wanna get married" and my mom being like "yeah." and then they got married. except if this was soriel it would go something like

"hey. wanna get married?"

"Oh. Do we have to?"

".....naaaah."

and then they don't! piss and love🙏

[moeblob]

So, lore?

Lo'en is a half elf and across the world there are designated elven kingdoms. One of them! Where she was born and her mother (elf) still lives, is frigid and in the north. Humans still have an odd tradition for Santa and so she hides her slightly pointed ears so that she doesn't have to sit through ANOTHER "Saint Nick" story that the northern elf king refuses to be offended by. His name is Niklava and he rather LIKES the association of how giving the cold can be! Lo'en could easily live without hearing another comment about ol' Saint Nick and his elves though.

Hold, while technically human/mortal, is cursed to live life over and over. And he has plant/green powers. He gets a lot of the "oh you'll grow up to be fine one of these days!" "you're still a sprout in this life time" "you still have time to bloom then!" and he also hates it.

Because Hold has to continue living even after he dies (though his body regresses to a child like age as he "recovers from death") he's absolutely enamored with Lo'en who just continues to exist. Her life span is way longer than a humans, longer than his /should/ be. And he admires her a lot and is really grateful to have her around for so many of his lives lived. Lo'en is relieved to have someone she gets along with who won't die and leave her forever. He dies, sure, but he gets better.

Lo'en meets Hold first while during one of his sister's dead phases so that's why the two are much closer than Lo'en is to Hold's sister. The two girls do help keep Hold safe when he's dead but they aren't super best friends or anything.