#Bible Humor

[hycinthrt]

[tomicscomics]

08/02/2024

The materialist vs. religious zitgeist.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus multiplies a little bread and fish to feed a huge crowd. When the crowd continues following Him, Jesus notices that they aren't following because they think His miracles confirm that He was sent by God. Instead, they're just following Him because His most recent miracle made them some tasty food. They're only in it for the material benefits of the miracles, not the message behind them. 2. In this cartoon, a man declares that he's going to become a follower of Jesus, and only for the purest intentions, though it's pretty clear that he's a little more interested in the wine, food, water-walking, and healthcare options that following the Miracle-Man with a Plan would offer. 3. As we all know from oral tradition, when Jesus is asked to heal the man's weird toe zit, He does so. However instead of the zit disappearing, the man horrifyingly shrivels into nothing, screaming wretchedly the whole time. Only his zit remains in the end. It just goes to show that you never know where your soul is in your body at any given time. At that moment, the man's soul happened to be coursing through his zit, so by heavenly technicality, HE was the growth to be eradicated.

[dearlittlefandom-stalker]

Me, ranting/venting to God: I just don't see how they can be Christian and do/say/believe that! It's not Christ-like behavior!

God: Do you always exhibit Christ-like behavior?

Me: ...

Me: ...no

God: Are you still My daughter?

Me: ...yes

Me: *stews/pouts about it some more*

Me: It's still frustrating, though!

Me: *thinks about how God must feel*

Me: We don't make this easy for You, do we?

[lambofthelost]

Me wishing there were as many movies for side characters in the Bible as there were in Star Wars

[chicoinematt7]

Catholic Meme Monday— Issue 159

Hope you had a blessed Sunday! 🙏 Time for another Catholic Meme Monday. 🎵🎶🎻🙏 Actually it was Esau because he was still mad at losing his porridge. 🙂😅 Saint Michael pray for us! 🛡️🙏 Amen! 🙏 The OG Rickroll. 😅🙂🙏 Happy Early Feast of Saint John Henry Newman. 🙏 🙏🙏🙏 😅😅😅 Wayyyy too accurate. 🙂😅🙏 One of my favorite visuals on intercessory prayer. 🙏🙏🙏 Meme I made for the feast of Saint…

[fwitoley]

when i was an atheist i never understood why my mom would buy so many different kinds of bibles like they all say the same stuff why do you need so many but now that i converted i understand i need ALL OF THEM

[user-needs-a-username]

Solomon's Wisdom

If neither of them were really the baby's mother:

Solomon: This didn't turn out the way I was expecting...

[confusedbyinterface]

Jonah outside Nineveh

[georgedontdothat]

the gasp i guspt

[veronicaleighauthor]

The Bible according to The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!

[sassyfever]

Christians are the ultimate "my fav did nothing wrong" typa fan tbh

[kittieshauntedourfantasy]

On the first day god said "let there be cat"

[multifan113]

Dad Jokes

Jesus: I'm the son of God

Pharisees: No way!

Jesus: Yahweh

[chicoinematt7]

Catholic Meme Monday— Issue 167

Hope you had a blessed Second Sunday of Advent! 🙏 Time for another Catholic Meme Monday. Love how each Advent candle has a different meaning. 🙏 Amen! 😆😆😆 Unless your diocese has a dispensation. One of my favorite quotes. 🙏 Mary did know, but I still like the tune of the song. 🎵🎶😆🙂 Go to Church this Sunday! 🙏🙏🙏 😆😆😸 To Jesus through Mary 🙏🙏🙏 Amen! 🌲🎄✝️ Pope beatbox 😆🎶 One of the best…

[bubblegumbarbie33]

Listen I know that Lilith isn't canon to the bible but like. It's so funny to imagine a bunch of old religious scholars being up in arms over the simple fact that a woman didn't like being told what to do. Like. "I just don't want to listen to this random guy that God says is my husband-" "WITCH. SHE-DEMON. WHORESS. MONSTER. MOTHER OF ALL DEMONS."

Like imagine your family disowning you because you broke up with your boyfriend and decades later people are still beefing about it

[tinypocketcats]

Doesn’t Ezekiel realize this thing could annihilate his smart ass?  @luximus

I want more shit like this