#Cackling

[oh-great-authoress]

UNMUTE

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[incorrectmeangills]

Scott: *busy doing something with his hands* having fun staring at my tits babe?

Martyn: *splutters* I WAS TRYING NOT TO

Scotg: sure babe, sure.

(Based off me and my partner <3)

.

[darthstitch]

habemus papam

Magda is in the kitchen on that particular day.

She's cooking her version of molo soup, cheating a little bit because the dumplings are from the Korean grocery store down the street. But she knows how to get the broth just right, Nanay, God rest her soul, and the rest of her ancestors whispering in her ears on just the right amount to season everything.

It's a cold, rainy day, with the monsoon season upon them. The rains are heavy and the flood warnings are up, which means classes are suspended. They are among the very fortunate few to live on higher ground, with their major worries making sure that the roof will hold up with the heavy rains. Her brothers and her older nephews have already gone up yesterday to check and make the necessary repairs.

Her children and her siblings love this particular dish and she spares a thought and a prayer for her eldest daughter and nieces in Rome and her youngest brother, who had called her from the airport, letting her know that he had also made it there, safe and sound.

'Teng, thank God, you're safe? You're all right? Have you eaten?

Yes, Ate. I'm okay. Umabot din, salamat nga sa Diyos. (Made it here at last, thank God.) A soft laugh.

I'll tell Caitlin and your other nieces you made it there. Ingat ka lagi. Love you! (Take care always!)

Love you too, Ate.

Enteng doesn't know how many novenas she'd prayed to the Santo Nino and the rosaries, with the Legion of Mary prayers that came with it. Keep him safe, Mama Mary. Watch over my brother and shield him from his enemies, Saint Michael. Protect and guide him, Santo Nino.

She has half an ear on her siblings and her other children, all gathered around the television, switching back and forth between the news and some old Fernando Poe Jr. movie. Their youngest, Celia, gets along with all of the nephews and nieces, thoroughly enjoying her status as the "cool tita," much like Enteng currently did as "tito."

"Let's check the news, see if they've finally picked out a new Pope." This from Celia. The background noise switches to some newscaster droning on what's happening in the Vatican.

"Wonder who that will be? I kinda miss the old Pope. He was really nice," Magda's youngest, Edgar muses.

"Would it be too much to hope that we'd finally get a Filipino pope?" Connie, one of Magda's nieces, wonders.

"It will probably be another white guy," scoffs Joseph, their half-brother on their Nanay's side. He has one of the grandbabies with him, Valerie, very much his favorite. She burbles, trying to make her own contributions to the conversation.

"Ma, Tito Enteng is there right now, right?" Edgar hollers. "Is he voting for a new Pope too?"

"I wouldn't know, anak," Magda hollers back. "He just told me he was supposed to be there in Rome."

Enteng had been understandably close-mouthed about his missions, running off to all of those countries notoriously known as trouble spots. She was simultaneously proud and terrified for her brother.

Magda hadn't been very devout in her youth. But the day Enteng was first sent off to the Congo was the day she went to her parish church and ended up becoming a Legionnaire of Mary. Incidentally, she ended up becoming a cathechist too. It gave her something useful to do in her old age.

(Enteng had laughed helplessly when he learned about it. You'll make a fine cathechist, Ate. I just wish I could see you in a classroom.)

"White smoke!" Connie yells excitedly.

"Uy! Here we go!" Edgar cheers.

"Hey, careful with the baby!" This, from Joseph, as apparently, Edgar has grabbed a happily babbling Valerie, dancing around the living room with her in his arms.

"Look, bebe, who's that on the TV? Huh? Is it gonna be the new Pope?"

Valerie laughs.

Habemus papam; Eminentissimum ac reverendissimum Dominum, Dominum Vincentius, Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae Cardinalem Benitez...

"Ano daw?" (What was that?)

"Ate!"

"Ma!"

Magda's feet carry her out to the living room before she even realizes it, her eyes on the television screen.

Unbelievably, it is the small, slight form of their beloved bunso, their Enteng, stepping out on that balcony in papal white.

...qui sibi nomen imposuit Innocentius...

Celia's phone starts to ring.

Much later, Magda would only recall the chaos that followed in snips and snatches.

(She still had enough presence of mind to tell Connie to turn off the stove, lest the soup go to waste.)

Their sisters in the US and Germany, calling, in complete shock and astonishment.

Her daughter Caitlin and nieces Klay and Ikay in Rome, joining the call, yelling and laughing and happily incoherent.

Magda settling down on the sofa, her knees wobbly when her phone rings and she sees that it is Vincent himself, finally. Her hands are shaking so much that she murmurs, " 'Gar, take it... take the phone... I can't."

Her own bunso, bless him, setting it up so they can all see him - Vincent, still in those unbelievable papal white robes.

He offers her a watery smile. "Hello, Ate."

"Enteng! Susmaryosep! Paano... Santo Papa... ikaw?!" (Vincent - Jesus, Mary and Joseph... How... the Pope... you?!!)

"Ate, ate, ang puso nio... Pakibigyan ng tubig si Ate, baka atakihin yan..." (Calm down, Ate, your heart... someone please give her some water, she might have a heart attack.)

Magda automatically grabs the glass from Celia, who's gently stroking her back and Joseph is on her other side, another source of support.

Magda really has to get a hold of herself, honestly. But really, all she sees is the tiny boy she looked after for Nanay, all the times she scolded him for playing outside in the streets past sunset, placing a cold towel on his head when he had fever, handing him his allowance for school and coming home from work, with his favorite snacks from that store in Binondo. The skinny teenager who was solidly at her back when she'd faced down their neighborhood bully, with a stout wood dos por dos as a makeshift weapon.

The day Vincent was ordained a priest, their Nanay weeping happy tears, the letters and the phone calls when he went abroad, the terror she'd felt when they all learned about that car bomb that had nearly taken his life...

Magda was used to being the eldest, the Ate of their family, who had soldiered on even as their Nanay had tried to hide all the family struggles and heartbreak from them. She'd kept her head and all her siblings knew to run to her first, instead of bothering Nanay who already had enough to deal with.

Today, Magda looked and listened to her dear brother on the screen as he finally told them what he had not been allowed to say all these years about his mission and his status as a secret cardinal.

Celia spotted it first: "Ate, naku, are you going to cry?"

Vincent stopped. "Ate?"

Magda burst into tears.

"Hala, Kuya Enteng, wag ka ding umiyak!" Celia exclaimed. (Oh no, Kuya Enteng, don't cry too!)

Joseph, bless him, tried to get everyone to calm down. "Hala yan siya. Naging Maalala Mo Kaya na tayo dito. Wag na kayong umiyak - baka pati ako umiyak na rin." (Oh boy, we're turning into a soap opera here. Stop crying - or I'm going to cry too.)

"Umiiyak na rin kami!" This, from their sisters in the US and Germany. "Naman!" (We're crying too!)

"My dear Vincent, are you quite all right?" This was a new, unfamiliar voice and Magda dabbed away at her tears using the hem of her housedress, as she saw another man - a cardinal, probably, just behind Vincent, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine." Vincent hastily wipes away his tears. Offers this stranger a soft smile. "My family and I are just having a moment. Here they are. Everyone - this is Thomas, Cardinal Lawrence."

"Uy. Ampogi." (Hey. He's handsome.)

"Celia!" Magda and Vincent chorus - but Magda ends up laughing immediately. "Pogi nga sya." (Yeah, he is handsome.)

Joseph guffaws.

Vincent, amazingly, buries his face in his hands, clearly hiding a blush. Magda hasn't seen him react like this since he was a teenager with his first crush.

Cardinal Lawrence looks absolutely bewildered. But it does break through the emotional overload perfectly.

"No, forget it, I'm not related to any of them at all," Vincent decides then and there, shaking his head.

"HOY!" It seemed that the entire clan was yelling this, even the ones in the US, Germany and Rome.

"Something tells me that learning Tagalog should be my first order of business," Cardinal Lawrence muses.

"We'll teach you!" Vicky, their sister in Germany volunteers.

Magda reaches out to gently touch the screen, wishing very much she could offer their bunso the hug he so clearly needs. "Basta. We're very proud of you, Enteng. And we love you. So much."

"I love you too, Ate. All of you."

"Ingat ka lagi. And come home when you can. He can come home, right?" And Magda directs this question to Cardinal Lawrence, instinctively knowing he would be able to answer this question and definitely not backing down from this.

Vincent was going to come home to them. Magda still had that dos por dos somewhere and she wasn't afraid to use it.

"Yes, he will," Cardinal Lawrence promises her solemnly.

"Isama mo si Cardinal Pogi, 'Teng!" Celia yells from behind her.

"Ay, Diyos ko po," Vincent groans, facepalming. (Oh my God.)

"She means," Magda said helpfully, with cheerful mischief. "That you're also invited, Cardinal Lawrence. So see you soon!"

The interesting blush on Vincent's cheeks blooms again. "My Ate Magda is the best cook in the family, Thomas."

"Then I shall look forward to it." Thomas offers them all a charming smile, which sent even her heart a flutter. Oh dear.

Vincent, with his Cardinal (and a few more, to be honest - and they were all very much welcome), did come home to them eventually.

Magda made sure that there was enough molo soup, among other dishes, for all of them.

- end -

[rodeco-the-third]

The way I promptly imagined Alice chucking rocks at the White Knight from Through the Looking-Glass...

Sometimes reading Arthuriana feels like reading Alice in Wonderland.

“Well,” said Alice, “these are a dreadfully strange assortment of objects!”

“They all symbolize different aspects of Our Lord’s martyrdom,” said the Fisher King, casting a line into his teacup.

“Indeed. I am sure everything symbolizes something else, for if everything was only itself I should be very confused. Might I ask what the point of the bleeding lance is?”

Alice regretted asking the question as soon as she had done so, for she saw the pun that would likely be made about the word point. Instead, however, the room erupted in applause and shouts of “The Grail! She has achieved the Grail!”

The next castle she visited, Alice resolved to herself as the inhabitants of this one danced for joy, would be more sensible.

[timespacegirls]

official bbc doctor who instagram you are insane for this actually

[4bsurdcreature]

"Blinding Stars Bro. Pull yourself together!!"

[waitmyturtles]

(Source)

[distantsapphicdream]

i want this framed in a museum

Big Pussy should've met a woman named Little Cock

[jewish-kulindadromeus]

okay but I have so many follow up questions about an american pope

like can he vote in elections. he's still an american citizen. his vote would count the same (or less than) the average person's (less being bc he's from chicago and thanks to the electoral college illinois ppl count less per vote than say wyomingians)

and sure he's the head of a large organization but it's better characterized as a business than a country, most of its power lies outside of its geographical realm and there isn't a real self sustaining population

and we let other ceo's vote

so what. does the pope get to vote now. will the pope tell people who he voted for. does he have to send in an absentee ballot from the vatican. will the ballot counter who receives the ballot realize its the pope's ballot

yes all of this assumes we'll still have elections, shhh

[a-stray-wretched-dog]

wait guys hear me out

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[birdbutbetter]

dan reynolds? in MY spirit halloween? it’s more likely than you think

[broresteia]

the funniest thing theyve done so far

[feelboss]

[beggars-opera]

Today I learned in reading the 18th century slang dictionary