#Character analysis

[luna-azzurra]

How Body Language Changes When a Character Is Falling in Love (Whether They Admit It or Not)

When someone starts to fall, it shows up everywhere—not in the love confession (that’s the easy part), but in the twitch of a smile, in the silence that suddenly feels charged, in the way someone’s hand almost reaches out before pulling back.

╰ They start listening… with their whole damn body

Suddenly, they’re turned toward this person all the time. Full body facing them. Chin tilted slightly in. They lean forward during small talk like it’s breaking news. They notice things, like the rhythm of their voice, the way their lips move when they think too hard. They stop fiddling with their phone. Their knee bounces until the other person speaks, and then, stillness. They’re so present, it hurts.

╰ Their eye contact gets… weird

Sometimes they can’t stop looking. Sometimes they can’t look at all... There’s that moment—the pause, the flicker—where their eyes land on the other person’s mouth for just a second too long. Or they track their hands. Or notice how their hair falls into their face. It’s not about lust. It’s yearning, and it’s quiet and stupid and full of panic. And when the person catches them looking? Immediate eye dart. Back to their drink. To the sky. To anywhere else. Guilty. Flushed. Terrified.

╰ Their hands get stupid

They’re suddenly very aware of what their hands are doing. They fidget more. Or freeze. They keep their arms close to their body, like they’re worried they’ll accidentally reach out. If they touch the other person, even casually, it lingers. Not long enough to be noticed, but long enough to matter. Sometimes they adjust the other person’s collar or brush something off their sleeve and then have a tiny meltdown inside. That kind of touch feels too intimate. It’s not flirtation. It’s reverence.

╰ Their silence means more than their words

They trail off mid-sentence. Laugh at things they don’t usually laugh at. Start saying something and stop themselves. It’s because their brain is trying to do too many things at once—act normal, sound chill, don’t make it weird, try not to look like you’re in love. Meanwhile, the body is over here sweating, shifting, subtly turning toward the other person like a sunflower in denial.

╰ Their whole vibe gets softer

There’s a gentleness that creeps in. Even if they’re a sharp, snarky character, there’s a moment where they look at the person like they’re a planet they’ve just discovered. It’s brief. It’s devastating. It’s involuntary. And they might pretend it didn’t happen. But the reader saw it. The love interest definitely saw it. And suddenly, everything is different.

╰ Bonus: They mirror the other person without meaning to

Their arms cross when the other person’s do. Their head tilts. They laugh a beat after. This is subconscious connection at work. Their body wants to match this person. Sync with them. Be close without being obvious. And when they stop mirroring? That’s a sign too. Maybe something hurt. Maybe they’re trying to pull away. But the body always tells the truth, even when the character’s mouth is lying through its teeth.

[rainstormyday]

May I add:

-I am cold and calculating, doing whatever needs to be done in the most logical and efficient way possible. You actually have a heart and conscience, and I don't know what with that.

romance is lame and overrated i love mentor/mentee relationships in fiction and especially when theyre sort of fucked up

[sunny-boooo]

Hey soooo... Anyone else thinking that Ragatha's toxic positivity comes from her not wanting to be like her mom?

Like, the only perspective she has of a person being mean is them being controling and abusive so she tries hard to not fall into that category even if she neglects her true feelings and opinions.

[chromieclipse]

How do you feel about Sans “ befriending” Toriel? I know many people didn’t take too kindly to that and after Sans was found dancing with Toriel, I've heard that others were angered enough even to want to “eliminate” Sans from this mortal coil. Also, I do wonder about Vess's opinion on this as well.

I'll probably do Vess's opinion on it on the askblog, but as for me, I think it was inevitable and I think it's kind of silly?

I have a complicated relationship with Sans as a character, but separate from that, I think that many people see this interaction and see it as a sort of betrayal - which is 100% INTENDED. We are coming into Kris's home, after being worried about Toriel, finding that not only did she not contact Kris about not going to Choir practice, but that she spent the better part of the night with someone Kris does not know and clearly does not like.

The point is for it to feel out of place and stilted because it's a sudden shift, we're awkward and uncomfortable because we just got back from something emotionally distressing, and now are faced with this.

Honestly, I think Toby did a fantastic job with the scene. Sans isn't a total asshole or anything, just somewhat selfish in the moment, and Toriel is wine drunk - but it's enough to get people really disliking Sans, because man. Man.

Something I think I missed in my first playthrough (and I'm sure others didnt realize either) is that Toriel is greatly aware that Kris has a tendency to just... disappear, go off and do whatever they like. They're a teenager, and I think Toriel is trying to allow them some independence, especially after learning that Susie is their friend. ESPECIALLY Susie, who Toriel comforted that day, who she wants to have friends and is probably OVERJOYED these two lonely, sad teenagers have found each other and began spending time together. And, don't forget - it's the weekend, too. We don't know if it's typical for Kris to be out super late on weekends, we have no frame of reference.

I think Sans and Toriel are great and fun, and I think them dating and Toriel's teen child disliking Sans BECAUSE they're dating, like. It feels correct. As someone who's a kid of divorce, when both my parents started dating after the fact, I LOATHED the new people in my life for a while, holding things against them I never would have otherwise. It's a very realistic depiction, I think, and Toby did a great job integrating what Kris must have been feeling in the moment, and making the player feel it too. That's really difficult to do, and especially with such a well-loved character like Sans, it's just... fantastically written and done.

Anyway, sorry this became less about just the whole Sans + Toriel thing and more of a character analysis, this is what happens when I start getting tired and answer asks about character analysis LOLLL.

I don't hate Sans as a character, and while I think the whole "I want to kill sans" meme is funny, I'm not quite that enthused about wanting Sans out of Kris's and Toriel's life. We only see so much - for all we know, outside of those moments we see, Sans is a chill guy.

Something else to point out is it's very likely Sans was ALSO drunk during the scene, but I digress.

[alicelufenia]

Very good points!

As entertaining as it is to think of the player as an outside force controlling Kris (with all the personal horror implied), I think this cuts to the heart of why that's entertaining and not genuinely horrifying.

In short: it's roleplaying.

This analysis more than anything else is making me rethink the narrative around Kris and the SOUL. That we may not actually be playing a foreign soul or entity controlling them. Theories like their soul being replaced, or a younger Kris textually summoning a "demon" to control them for purposes unknown may be fun to think about, but may be missing the forest for the trees.

The forest being "it's fucking confusing and scary to be a teenager dealing with dysphoria, an identity crisis, self doubt, maybe a heaping helping of self loathing, and sometimes you just wanna leave all these confusing feelings in a cage and dissociate for a while."

Besides, the game has never actually hinted at or implied that we're NOT playing as Kris' own, original Soul. Heck, Ralsei says as much right from the start.

And while the fluffy boy can be cagey to a fault, he's never exactly lied to us about anything he knows. Furthermore, it always physically hurts Kris to remove their soul, they start to tire after being soulless for too long, and they collapse to their knees after the soul has taken damage and re-enters their body. Finally, no matter how conflicted or upset they are at it, they always put the soul back.

The only oddity to this interpretation is, well, the Weird Route, where it really does seem like their being controlled by some outside force. First of all, the weird route is, well, weird. Things aren't happening as they should in that route. But even there, outside interactions with Noelle, where I believe Kris' perceptions of reality may be understandably warped, things are still "normal", outside of how Kris is perceived by others. In the First Sanctuary, Gerson can comment on how listless and detached Kris is acting, having to "go through the motions" even when it feels like the world is ending. For all the special knowledge about Kris characters like Gerson and Ralsei demonstrate, none of it hints to Kris being completely unable to control themselves or make decisions.

Perhaps, just as the Dark Worlds are made "retroactively real" through the power of the fountains, all of these conflictions and unexamined feelings of otherness and guilt, manifest in Kris as "someone else." The Angel of the prophecy perhaps, some explanation that Kris can ground themselves to, in an attempt to understand their own life. And that, is what we are roleplaying as.

Seems very in line with a trans teen who has suffered trauma and let their social and emotional connections wither and fade over time, now having to reconnect and rebuild those relationships. Putting myself in that role, it makes sense to me that they would seem off and strange to everyone who knew them from those darker times.

How many trans folks who get in touch with old friends soon find them treating you like a stranger? Are you putting on an act, or was everything about how you interacted with them before an act? This can be especially frustrating if you're doing your very best to be better, but all they want is the old you.

Hell, sometimes even you want the old you; to indulge in old habits and activities you did while still figuring yourself out. Something about Kris ripping out their soul and locking it up so they can do something indulgent, like eating or drinking something they love or playing the piano, something their old friend group always enjoyed about them. Until eventually, as they've grown on their journey, they can experience those old joys as the person they are now.

I get it.

not "the player is evil for playing deltarune" or "Chara is MAKING ME play the weird route and EXP grind", but a secret third thing: "it seems ludicrously allegorical that an adversarial player/character relationship dynamic is being forced on a dysphoric transgender teenager with a hidden double life and conflicted motives"

[ann-rex]

GUYS I WILL REPEAT THIS ONE LAST TIME: DICK IS NOT THE ANGRY OR NICE ROBIN, JASON IS NOT THE ANGRY OR NICE ROBIN, TIM IS NOT THE SMART OR QUIET ROBIN, AND DAMIAN IS NOT THE RUDE AND VIOLENT ROBIN!!! Let's start with the first Robin. The most popular mischaracterization is when they turn Dick into either a unsalvageable human menace of a child (non-positive) or they turn him into a goody two shoes. GUYS, he was moody and quiet at the start because he wanted to avenge his late parents and had to adjust to normal life! He became more mellow the more time he spent with Bruce, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. Yes, he was sorta violent in the first few runs of him as Robin, but that was him adjusting too! AND WHY WOULD HE BE LABELLED THE GREATEST ROBIN BY MOST COMIC READERS IF HE WASN'T SMART??!! Now Jason. The most popular mischaracterization happens when he gets turned into an angry, mean Robin or he gets turned into an UwU innocent Robin. NO GUYS, COMPLEX CHARACTERS HAVE MORE THAN ONE PERSONALITY!!! During Robin, he was one of the most optimistic and happy Robins. 'I am Robin and Robin gives me magic!' IS LITERALLY FROM JASON'S RUN. But guess what? He was violent too! You could see in his run, and during Urban Legends, how he almost disobeyed Batman's no killing rule and absolutely despised rogues and human traffickers, dealing with them brutally! He also missed patrols to finish his homework and did so well in his exams that even his TEACHERS told him to chill!! The 'Pit Madness' was just a weird concept, and in turn didn't let the fandom complexify Jason's character as already having violent tendencies, he just lost his optimism as he was manipulated and lost Robin. Tim is one of my favorite characters, but the fandom DOES NOT help his case at all. He is either a Mary-Sue (Which, granted, some DC writers did do themselves) or he's a coffee-drinking gremlin. GUYS, SNAP OUT OF IT. Tim does not like coffee, he never liked coffee. He drinks energy drinks, he's pure teenager core. The reason I am stating this is because this coffee drinking habit ingrained into him is SO common that its like the butterfly effect with his mischaracterization. Sure, one of Tim's most obvious character traits was his intuition. BUT NO-ONE SEEMS TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIS SKILLS IN FIGHTING? Tim was trained by Nightwing, Lady Shiva, and the League of Assassins. HE IS A GREAT FIGHTER GUYS!! Also, he was not 'quiet and shy and introverted' he's an extrovert, HE NEEDS PEOPLE to ground him or he'll go insane. He is called a control freak MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE COMICS, AND HE WAS A PSYCHO STALKER IN HIS CHILDHOOD, LET HIM HAVE SOME SPICE PLEASE! Lastly, Damian. I AM DAMIAN'S NUMBER ONE DEFENDER, AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SHOOT! Damian IS nice, and it shown in his protectiveness of his friends and his gentleness in pets. Of course, he tends to be arrogant and prissy, BUT ITS GOOD BECAUSE THOSE ARE FLAWS. WHICH ARE NEEDED IN A GOOD CHARACTER. DON'T ERASE HIS ARROGANCE! And guess what, he is smart, and it has been shown multiple times in his comic run. He even decides to be a doctor, so?? What do you have to say? And yes, he is violent, BUT HE WAS RAISED BY ASSASSINS, and he is getting better! In conclusion, PLEASE read character studies and/or comics before writing fanfiction. An angel looses its wings every time I see a work with shallow characters.

[candy8448]

how i think the batfam's relationship with the "no killing rule" is based on all the fics ive read, info i know, and the tiny amount of comics ive read

(Im still new to the fandom so everything is what i have interpreted from the fandom, fanon, fics and bits of comics ive read or saw floating around on the internet so i know im probably gonna be quite innacurate so feel free to clarify stuff for me!)

Bruce: no killing, period. I dont think he should ever kill, not even the joker. If he kills once he will lose control and he cannot allow himself to do that. They cannot be the judge, jury and executioner and will do absolutely everything in his power to stop someone from killing someone else, even if that involves him standing in front of the bullet.

Dick: bruce's no killing rule is his no killing rule. It is deeply important to him and he does not want to take a life. He will however do it though. He will do it if absolutely nessesary to save his family or the people he cares about. He has killed before but every single one has broken him to the core, he lives his life like a dead man to repent for the lives he has taken. He hates how easily he can lose control and is haunted by every dead body. He will try his absolute hardest to make sure that no one else has to bear that same weight. He will never forgive himself no matter how justified it may seem to someone else, killing is never justified to him.

Jason: killing is fine, he has no problems with it. He will kill as needed and it does not rest on his conscience. When he was first resurected, he went on murder sprees and was a full on serial killer but once he mellowed out a bit he is still laxed with it but kills as needed. I imagine that once he later starts to reconnect and care about the family, whenever he is with them he will tone it down a little bit, switching to rubber bullets but depending on who he is patrolling with.

Tim: i feel like, especially when he was robin, he cared about the no killing rule a lot. He understood that there was an important reason for it however i dont think he really connected with it, it wasnt so linked with his being as it is for bruce and dick and still isnt, but as robin, he saw its importance and followed it, as well as tried his best when he could to stop others (including attempting to stop dick when he killed the joker). As he got older i think that he was a little more laxed, he knows the rule is important because obviously killing is bad, that is litterally what they go out to stop every night, and he will stick to it, however he will kill if it is what will save the people he cares about, and he wont feel as bad if he knows it was the only thing he could have done. I dont know anything about this at all but i have heard that he bombed the league of assasins once but idk anything about that.

Steph: i dont actually onow anything about her in cannon so i can't say anything. Fanon interprets her as #girlboss who would probably be fine with killing but i dont know enough about her to make an assesment

Babs: i dont know too much about her either, but i do know that in the comics that she wanted the joker dead. I feel like she would be fine with killing if it was for revenge or to protect her loved ones.

Cass: i feel like she wouldnt ever kill. As soon as she was adopted into the batfam, she realised that she did not want to kill ever again, and she wont, she feels imense guilt about the lives she has taken in the past despite people telling her she was too young to know and in such a terrible situation that it was her only choice. The no killing rule is deeply important to her because it is part of what has saved her and she probably wont ever trust herself if she did ever kill again. She won't ever take another life no matter what.

Duke: i dont know anything at all about him, all inknow is that he has light powers and even fanon never brings him into conversations like this so i have no idea

Damian: this depends on where he is at with developing as part of the batfam. When he first appreared he was completely fine with killing, it was all he had ever known and the only way he was taught to deal with people as well as assert his honnor so he just doesnt understand at first why you wouldn't kill, it is efficient and the only way to do things. When he does progress though he starts to learn how killing is bad. He is still unlearning his deadly instincts so sometimes he might accidently slip. I think that still into quite a bit later he understands that objectively, killing is bad. He starts to understand the weight that killing can have on his soul however if it is to protect his family, if it is to correct a wrong (even if the wrong hadnt killed somebody but still only if its serious) then he will kill. He will go out with jason to extract revenge. Maybe at this point however he is not above threatening to kill a criminal if they are refusimg to co oporate to scare them but will not actually do it. I dont know how it would go as he gets older but his love of animals and gentle guidance from dick helps to teach him the value of life until he maybe he decides that similarly to cass, he doesn't want to kill again, perhaps he still does if absolutely nessesary but perhaps that is why he removes himself from the vigilante buisness and decides that instead of taking life he will save lives as a doctor.

[ricknmortysideblog]

i think it's interesting that i see a few people here on tumblr who feel like diane is under explored by the show. i agree that when a female character is used as a simple narrative device for other characters it's usually because the writers are falling into the classic sexist tropes of using women as (a man's) tragedy instead of actual people. but i never saw diane that way? to me, the fact that we know so little about her is more connected to the fact that she is, and has been from the start, a ghost to the whole story. she's not even here, and yet she's been haunting the narrative from the start. all we get are echoes of her, what people remember, what people think of her, and that feels like a narrative choice rather than neglect for the character, at least to me. it's not that she's not a person, but rather that *we* don't get to know her because she's haunting us as much as them. she remains just out of reach, just outside of what we're allowed to know. we can only see the vague shape of who she was, despite the fact that that person is present in every version of rick and beth, and has been affecting everything indirectly despite being literally erased from existence. i feel likes she's meant to be a puzzle. it's like hearing stories about a relative you never got to meet, and creating that vague idea in your head that is never quite right.

compare that to dreamy dead wife in john wick for example (or my extremely niche but most hated example, anne weying in the venom 2018 comic run), who have literally no significance to the plot or the audience aside from "was very nice and very dead and triggered the plot only to be promptly forgotten forever and barely ever mentioned again". we're never meant to wonder about them, to try and piece together who they were. they were sweet, and now they're gone, and that was that.

diane reminds me more of the way agnes montague is written in the magnus archives (sorry, way too niche again ;v;). in a q+a the writer of the magnus archives mentions how the fact that we never actually meet agnes was a deliberate writing choice. she's meant to be a myth, just a ghost that we have to piece together through the clues that other people give us. she's a fundamental part of the story, but we still never get to meet her, and it makes her feel like a proper haunting, both to the characters and to the audience.

all this to say: i do very much enjoy diane as a character and the season 8 finale has ruined my fucking life

[ky-lth]

@lame-cameoliob tags

Listen, I have a soft spot for Agent Kallus because he is so perfectly representative of the people who grew up conservative who didn't know better and had to grow out of that mindset. And then not only that, he gave up career progression, wealth, power, and prestige so that he could fight on the side of the rebels. He started on the wrong side of history, learned openly that he was wrong, and moved to the right side of history.

Kallus represents all of the people (because, yes, there are a lot of liberals and leftists who started conservative, and that will always be true, no matter which conservative is in office) who were on the side of the Empire/fascism, realized what they supported, and became a force for good. He's an example of "anyone can change." And I'm grateful that Star Wars didn't say that all hope is lost for the people on the side of the Empire, but that even they can be saved. Even they can realize the error of their ways and make things right

[aurae-rori]

yanqing & being a child soldier.

So. Yanqing. When we first meet him, he's a sword-obsessed, semi-cocky kid who's got an appetite for victory and a sizeable ego - for good reason. When first encountered, he hasn't tasted real defeat before - there's been only victories in battle. He's been heralded as a sword genius from the moment he picked it up.

There is so much more to his character than simply 'a guy who got his ass handed to him and couldn't take the defeat,' and this is why.

Yanqing is prideful. And he's got a reason to be - he's grown up with his peers always telling him that he's a genius at swords. Growing up, being a swordmaster was not something only that he wanted for himself, but was something that others wanted for him, too. It's true that swords are his passion, but due to his inherent talent, the expectations set for Yanqing have always been high.

What happens when you've got high expectations from others, and even higher expectations from yourself?

Expectations are healthy, of course. You can't stay stagnant. And Yanqing loves what he does - I fully believe that wielding the sword is a passion - his first love. However, you can still love something and feel pressured by it.

I just simply can't look at a prodigy and say that they haven't been under stress. Yanqing has put himself under stress - he's set these goals for himself, these lofty dreams that he thinks he'll be able to achieve relatively soon. He's based his entire identity, his entire ego, his self-esteem - all of it, on how well he can wield the sword.

To Yanqing, the sword is an extension of himself. Victory in battle is what determines if he is worthy or not.

You have to understand that Yanqing's life literally revolves around swords, in a way. He doesn't have many friends, he has trouble connecting with his peers due to his talent and how others perceive him. His soul and anchor is his passion for swordplay, and his adeptness at it.

So, his first defeat at the hands of a swordmaster who was much greater at wielding it was like having his soul shattered in half. Meeting Jingliu and Blade and tasting bitter defeat two times in a row would've left him more than simply 'defeated' - it would have left him broken, in a way. Yanqing was so attached to the sword that he let it define him, and therefore, with only one such thing as his anchor to his self-worth, one true, utter defeat was enough to set him into a spiral.

I think even though, in later updates, he's seemingly gotten back on his feet, this spiral, this train of thought in the back of his mind isn't truly gone.

Okay, we've all seen the heliobus scene, and I think in there, Yanqing was genuinely tempted to take its offer. Before, he felt like he could take his time in getting better and improving, but after seeing how powerful jingliu really is, I think he would've been discouraged, but then encouraged to do more. However, it's not a healthy kind of encouragement - it's a desire to be better born of bitterness and anger, dissatisfaction and self-hatred.

Jing Yuan mentions that he needs time to be able to curb his strength and harness it properly. Shortcuts cannot be taken in learning something like the sword, and that is a lesson that he learns. However, I think that scene where Jing Yuan puts faith in Yanqing, and then Yanqing comes back to his senses is genuinely an important one. It shows that Yanqing has a lot of trust in Jing Yuan, but also that one of his greatest insecurities is letting the General down.

Although Yanqing's ego almost entirely relies on how good he is with the sword, he also relies on Jing Yuan's perception of him in order to have self-esteem.

Jing Yuan is Yanqing's father figure. Let's not beat around the bush - Yanqing is like a little bird taking refuge on a lion's back. Jing Yuan is the one consistent adult in his life that gives im guidance and that helps him grow - how wouldn't he see Jing Yuan as his dad? And, as all children do, we seek attention, and praise from our parents - which is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do.

However, their relationship... isn't that linear. Yanqing may see him as his father, but Jing Yuan is also his mentor - and as a mentor's job, you cannot just praise your apprentices, but you also must train them and criticize them.

Unfortunately, I think the way Yanqing was raised - for the battlefield, seeking praise and validation from Jing Yuan, who could not only see him as a son, but also as a mentee - would've permanently impacted the way that he sees himself, and the way his self-esteem image was created.

What I mean to say is - Yanqing's self-esteem is fragile. All of this is just leading to say that Yanqing doesn't have a stable sense of self, and this was the first time that it was truly broken for him. And that's hard. It's really hard to pick yourself back up after being put down like that, especially because Yanqing thinks that he's failed the one thing that he was supposed to do.

So, we enter another arc. After the Heliobus, we come back to the Xianzhou, and Yanqing and Yunli meet. His ego's still bruised, and her telling him that he's unworthy of the sword was literally one of the worst insults she could have ever done, because, as I've mentioned before, his identity revolves around swords.

Of course, they bicker back and forth, and then, they have a conversation. Yanqing admits that after his defeats, he started to question himself, and he admits that it was so hard to find his confidence again and to continue on.

However, he also states something important - he wields the sword because he loves the feeling of giving it all.

This is incredibly important, because this basically states that Yanqing loves not just to fight, not just to win or to lose - but to really put himself out there. He loves to challenge himself, he loves to get better, and he just loves his swords. He loves what he does, even despite all the expectations.

Yanqing's sword is an extension of himself, and by loving the sword and what he does, I think, he loves himself. This puts into light the idea that when he lost, he hated himself. But he's learned that loss does not mean loss forever - it just means that he had to find a purpose, do some self-reflection, and to try and understand.

So, that's on how Yanqing sees himself with the sword, and how it impacted his self-esteem, his ego, and his self-perception - but there's still something else I have to tackle.

His age. Because that impacts everything I just mentioned.

Haha, did you think I was done? No. No, I'm not. I'll also be doing another post on Yanqing and PTSD. Because I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal.

Yanqing, canonically, is a teenager - a young teenager, which is why I choose to portray him from 13-15, so maybe around 14 years old. The thing is - Yanqing is very good at acting much older than he is, which I think is part of the reason why there was so much debate over whether he was an adult or not at first. This just goes to show that he is incredibly good at putting on a mature face. There's no doubt that Jing Yuan has trained him in the realm of politics and has taught him how to handle people much older than he is.

Despite Yanqing's position mainly involving battle, which he is good at, with power comes diplomacy. So, Yanqing had to learn to be diplomatic from a young age due to his increased level of skill.

This leads to a skewed vision or approach to how he should present himself. Jing Yuan even explicitly says that if you treat him like a child, he'll act like an adult - but if you treat him like an adult, he'll act like a child. This is all due to perception.

Yanqing thinks that acting childish is weak, but if someone treats him like an adult - mature, he will gain the feeling that people aren't underestimating him, and will allow himself to act more like hismelf. However, if you were to treat him directly like a child, it would make him defensive and it would raise his emotional walls towards whoever was treating him like so.

Yanqing, generally, just... doesn't really feel like he can act like a kid. He's always been alienated from his peers due to his talent, so he never had any real friendships or connections, which probably fucked him over socially. This just leads to him alienating himself from the idea of being a child - people people are expecting him to not be childish and mature due to his position.

Yanqing sees his age as a barrier. It's preventing Jing Yuan from putting his full faith and trust into Yanqing, and due to how young he is, it can sometimes make him feel like he's more of a burden to the General more than anything else, which isn't good. Yanqing owes Jing Yuan his life, and he knows this, so to let down the man who trained him would be - as mentioned earlier, due to it being a heavy insecurity of his - terrible.

This leads to an almost sort of bitterness when it comes to the topic of his age, so that's why he probably reacts in a way that makes him seem like a 'true adult' when he's treated like the age that he is.

Yanqing views his age as a hindrance. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think I covered basically everything that I wanted to in terms of Yanqing's self-perception and self-esteem, as well as how his age and his connection with swords create that development between him. Next post will be about PTSD. Thanks for reading! :)

[in-h0]

when Gi-Hun meets Il-Nam for the first time in season 1, Gi Hun says to him:'' You are first and I'm the last'' (not the exact line).

Il-Nam created the games, so was ''the first''

Gi Hun was the last player to die in the games (at least the Korean ones)

[general-yasur]

It’s really interesting to me how people tend to mix Lloyds adult and child personality (i’ve done this myself too) when in reality Lloyd is very different from who he was when he was 9-10. Which makes sense.

I’m very different from who I was when I was 8, and I’ve watched people I knew as rowdy kids grow up to be quiet adults. It’s natural but harder to accept in show form.

The script between Kai and Wyldfire at the panel implied that Lloyd can be a “party pooper” so-to-speak. Very different from the rebellious kid who pulled pranks in s1.

His personality has stayed relatively consistent since s2 when he got older though. It’s crazy how his child personality that lasted about a season and a half comes to dominate how people interpret lloyd for the next 18-19(?) seasons of Ninjago.

The character whose theme is about change and adaptability can only be seen as who he was as a little boy and not who he has come to be as a man.

[lilyandthegenshinbrainrot]

My thoughts on Istaroth's actions with the Raiden twins are a matter of her own bias, and I'll give you two reasons why; one speculative reason and one canon implication !!

I don't believe that she did this out of the goodness of her heart or as an act of goodwill. I think that it's more like Istaroth ensures that the rule of the Heavenly Principles is not questioned, and with their chosen envoys/Archons, there is an allowance. Ei has already killed herself in the name of Celestia's authority, and Makoto had brought back the memory of her sister into a new body.

I mean, really, what greater show of loyalty to the rules and standards of Celestial authority is there besides willingly killing yourself before becoming a threat ?

She gives the Raiden twins a sort of grace for their blind obedience.

Besides that, and JUST about the Sacred Sakura Tree itself, Istaroth helps because the tree protects the Leylines from Abysal corruption. The leylines are hers, as they are the manifestation of the past, and the Abyss is her enemy.

Anyways, regarding the other Shades, it isn't that I believe they are good either! I just think that they are more empathetic than Istaroth herself is. Ronova's curse of immortality towards the Khaenri'ahns reads as "You made your bed, now lie in it." to me !!

Celestia is not well known for mercy, and the Shades are why ! The skyfrost nails, the curse upon the angels, the colonization of the Dragons are the best examples of their treatment towards things they disagree with.

I think that Ronova's curse is incredibly cruel, but in the eyes of the immortal ... it hasn't been that long of a curse yet. The world is just now, 500 years later, beginning to completely recover from the effects of the Cataclysm.

As for Rhinedottir... well, that is a bit more complicated. Personally, it is my belief that her creations were specifically made with the intent of building herself up to the position that she holds now.

I think that she made monsters with alchemy (false life) to undermine the authority of Celestia, as she is the Great Sinner Rhinedottir Gold. Khaenri'ah did not worship an Archon and it is implied that they did not respect Celestia's authority, even before the Cataclysm. So she made her creations, she saw how they were received and how difficult it was for the people, the armies, the gods, and finally the Archons to handle them. She armed herself with knowledge and creations that would be able to hold their own against the Heavens... and then, using her alchemical knowledge and Abysal power to develop new life, Rhinedottir located and ate the Heart of Naberius.

In short, I don't believe it had anything to do with her intentionally trying to hurt people... I think she was ambitious and selfish and didn't care who was affected by her actions enough to stop them. She's Rhinedottir Gold, the Great Sinner, and now the Shade of Life.

Istaroth is separated from these two because we don't currently have anything to suggest a level of empathy that we can see in the other two Shades, but that most CERTAINLY does not mean that I think Ronova and Rhinedottir are innocent saints.

I like it better that they are not !! I hope that all four Shades remain unremorseful and terribly immoral by human definitions as we continue 🫶

LET ME GO ON PUBLIC RECORD AGAIN RIGHT NOW WHILE WE'RE ALL EXCITED:

Istaroth is the Worst of the Shades, especially as we continuously see Ronova and Rhinedottir be shown for their humanity, for their empathy, and for their genuine desire for things to go accordingly. For their humane nature.

We were introduced to Istaroth in Enkanomiya, as a terrifying and Eldritch deity. She is the only one to grant them mercy, and the way she does so is selfish. By splitting the realms into Evernight and Whitenight, giving humanity a way to avoid the Vishaps, she also introduced a means to measure time.

Istaroth's greatest act of mercy was granting herself a reason to be individually worshiped in a time where forbidden knowledge was ravenous and Teyvat was shaken. Because Enkanomiya fell after the war with the Second Throne That Came After.

Istaroth is not kind, or regarded kindly. She is respected, feared, and sacred beyond understanding.

Sacrificial Fragments, a second book from when Istaroth was worshipped reaffirms this perception of her holy nature.

Enkanomiya calls her Joy, Rage, Longing, Obsession. Mondstadt calls her Merciless. Ravenous. The Godkillers... call her Unrelenting. You understand ?

How does this compare to the other known Shades, Ronova and Rhinedottir ??

Ronova is... compassionate, for one thing. She is introduced to us in Natlan. During which it is revealed that she agreed to work with Natlan against the Abyss via creating the Night Kingdom.

When Mavuika's plan came to pass, Rovona was focused SOLELY on maintaining order. Mavuika will die because that was agreed upon > The Captain will die because it will uphold her curse and because it's mutually beneficial. She allows them to argue about it, she allows them to speak very informally and casually about the might of Celestial Shades without consequence. "Mavuika: After all, leadership is built on the trust of ordinary people. Without them, there is no Archon." "Yohualtecuhtin, Lord of the Night: The Captain envisions a kinder and fairer set of rules for humanity. In addition, he aims to challenge the authority of the Ruler of Death... In a word, his goal is revenge." "Ronova: I now understand that which you seek..." Of the two above lines, Ronova is remarkably silent about the way that these people under her ranking criticize Celestia decisions. We cannot presume the same from the Merciless March of Time, she who ... had the sunchildren and sacrificial dance ceremonies. As for Rhinedottir... she is the most human character in the game. I don't know how else to describe it. Everything that Rhinedottir has ever done has been for her passions and interest in the nature of life and limits of humanity, in knowing and achieving every thing that she is possibly capable of. Go talk to @monards about it, because the point of this post is not about her humanity, but about how Rhinedottir is kinder than Istaroth is. We see this in the way that Durin's recounting of his life was her encouraging him to go and show off his beauty, in Albedo being sent to live in Mondstadt under Alice's watch so that he might know what it means - for him - to be alive, and the way that she interacts with the Hexenzirkel who love her in turn. You learn a lot about a person given who their friends are, and Rhinedottir Gold turns to Alice (Friend of Adults who Still Harbors Hope), Nicole Reeyn (the Guide who Will Never Get Lost), and Andersdotter, she who taught the Hexenzirkel who wanted to share her stories of love and friendship and unending adoration with them for generations. When we compare Istaroth to Ronova and Rhinedottir like this, we do not have stories of her even remotely expressing these same sentiments, because Istaroth is not motivated by them. She is Time, she is curious, and the kindest thing about her is that she loves a good story. And well, she is responsible for the two largest killing forces in the game. Forbidden Knowledge and Erosion. It is by her hand that the Forest (the Withering) dies, and it is by her words that the gods fade. She may not have killed them herself, may not have been the one to damn the ambitious to the skies, may not have been the one who separated the twins... but she certainly is not against indulging, worsening, and Keeping Record of such happenings.

[clowns0cks]

The way the TARDIS is inherently cosmic horror. You live in a machine that is actually a sentient creature that can create and erase rooms at will. It contains time and space, all of it. It can leak time if damaged, changing your history forever and creating horrid paradoxes. It's totally unpredictable, anything could happen if it's malfunctioning. It's so big that you could get lost in it for days. weeks. years, if she doesn't let you find your way back you could die without water and food. She's able to change her architecture whenever she wants. It's a labyrinth. It could lock you in and never let you out. It's a flying bomb of history and timelines, if it explodes, the whole universe is in danger. She could very much kill you in an horrid amount of different ways. She's beautiful and she's able to help you and take care of you, but because she chooses to, not because you want her to. She has complete free will and control of your life. It's up to you to trust her.

[starcurtain]

Mydei: Legend, Reality, Agency

A while back on Twitter, I saw an excellent thread going around about how so many in-game sources of information on Mydei tell his story as if recounting an ancient myth, an unreal epic tale of a fictional hero, rather than a "real," existing being. (Thank you to @ruby019x for finding the link to the thread!)

Reiterating the point of that original Twitter thread: Unlike the other Chrysos Heirs, whose stories get treated as contemporary "real" events or whose tales are told through their own perspectives, almost everything we know about Mydei is framed through the filter of third party observers, resulting in a character that feels less like a person than a myth made flesh. Mydei's story doesn't come across as the coherent timeline of someone telling us true events--it feels like a jumbled, highly exaggerated account that might spread as rumors through word-of-mouth, or, more accurately:

It feels like storytelling.

The way Mydei's backstory and all of the sources of information we have on Mydei in-game unfurl in contradictory and overwrought manners has the ring of a legend passed down through generations, losing and gaining details over time, being misremembered, aggrandized, and taken out of context, until the heroic figure at the core of the story no longer has a human identity but has transcended to become a mythological figure, real history fading into romanticized narrative.

Mydei isn't a living, breathing "person," he's the untouchable "king of kings," the "greatest conqueror, the mightiest protector."

Overall, this storytelling effect is very apparent, in virtually every source of information we have about Mydei throughout the game:

Mydei's character stories are all third party accounts of his actions and past:

Phrases such as "legends state," "rumors swirl," "the author boldly speculates" etc. abound in Mydei's character stories, making it clear that all of the information contained in them is suspect at best--these are others' perceptions of him and the events of his life, not his own perspectives on what occurred.

Unlike virtually every other character in the game, instead of Mydei's character stories being a chance for players to get to understand Mydei's inner world, to see him from his own perspective, we're given this strange distance, these observations from "outsiders" who clearly fail to grasp who Mydeimos is as a person or real his motivations. In one character story, Mydei's own advisors struggle with their complete lack of understanding, questioning his decisions and rewriting his actions as being "bewitched" by Aglaea and the Flame-Chase Journey, instead of genuinely committed to the cause:

There's even confusion and speculation among fans about who wrote the handwritten notes at the end of each of Mydei's character stories. Are these Mydei's notes, answering the accusations, setting the records straight, and adding his own personal perspectives at last?

While I'm still somewhat inclined to say these are Mydei's notes, the fact that these notes are supposedly from books "in the archive of the Library of Garbaniphoro"--a library this lifetime's Mydei shouldn't actually have had any access to--definitely complicates that reading, not to mention that Mydei doesn't seem to demonstrate the level of self-interest that would drive him to look up and read a bunch of books about himself in the first place...

The fact that we fans can't even fully tell whether these notes were actually written by Mydei or by someone else--such as Khaslana, seeking accounts and histories of the person he cared for, trying to set the record straight even in timelines where his blade would eventually spell the end of Mydei's life--is just another hallmark of the confusion surrounding Mydei's life. In practically every moment, we're still not sure if Mydei is speaking for himself or not.

Mydei's chapters in "As I've Written" continue this exact same trend, giving accounts of his life through third party observations, rumors, and questions:

"They say," "others guessed," "rumors rife," a "wild tale," and literally "the protagonist"--this isn't a first person account of Mydei's backstory, his own thoughts on his situation, or his true life's timeline. It's a dramatized retelling of events through the lens of outsiders looking in, turning a "person" into a "protagonist," making him a fictional character in his own life (this is very meta, by the way).

The mission and journal text throughout Amphoreus's plot, even all the way from 3.1, also echo this, with second person point of view instead of first person, emphasizing Mydei's title as if that were more important than his personhood, and dictating his feelings as if they're "absurd," not earned or valid, while mission text in 3.4 paints Mydei as a completely overblown figure, a larger-than-life myth:

Even NPCs, particularly the Kremnoans, often speak of Mydei in this way, as if he was not a person but a figurehead, a symbol they are rallying behind, rather than a human being with challenges, hesitations, and thoughts of his own:

The end result of all of this together is that Mydei comes across much more like a fictitious character than nearly any of the other Chrysos Heirs. Is he a lingering hero of the Chrysos War one thousand years in the past? Is he the re-embodiment of the spirit of Kremnos itself, son of both "Queen Gorgo" and "Gorgo, the Founder of Kremnos," as the game so likes to conflate? Is he a conquering tyrant, the king of kings, an embodiment of the sea, the Guardian of Amphoreus, the beloved crown prince of his country or the patricidal traitor?

Even in the meta sense, we players struggle to separate fact from fiction, leading to the sensation that all along, Mydei's single "story" has actually been multiple stories, at least two different timelines interweaving into a jumbled, incoherent past full of made-up events that couldn't have occurred, contradictions, and out-of-context plot points coloring even the player's perceptions of Mydei and his past.

And all of this, I think, is very intentional.

If you were to ask me "What's is Mydei's real role in Amphoreus's story?" I think the best answer to that question is: Mydei's role in the story is a commentary on the nature of storytelling itself.

The theme of storytelling is essential to Amphoreus's plot, with the "As I've Written" text being treated as the core model for each character's memory-identity that the Trailblazer is inscribing and bringing with them into the past (and therefore also the future) of Amphoreus. The idea of storytelling and narrative is so central to Amphoreus that the entire plot effectively revolves around it: The Flame-Chase Journey, and therefore the entire core reveal of Amphoreus being a simulation instead of a real world, is tied to Plato's allegory of the cave, itself a story about people who believe facsimile (their shadows cast by flame on the cave wall) is reality--in other words, a moral about mistaking narrative for truth.

It is only by rejecting the false reality--breaking free of Irontomb's simulation--that Amphoreus's people can become "real," escaping the digital unreality to enter the actual universe. In essence:

It is only by escaping "fiction" that one can embrace "true" existence.

But there's a second layer of the moral quandary: If the fiction is more beautiful, more entertaining, and more glorious than reality, would it be better to stay in the story, to turn your back on reality and just be the heroic protagonist of a fairy tale epic?

The game itself asks us to confront this idea:

"Do you care how true a memory is?"

Mydei is a walking, talking manifestation of this exact theme. Are we actually supposed to care how accurate his backstory is?

If Mydei is just meant to be a narrative symbol of kingship, of guardianship, of Strife, then does it really matter if things about his past do not add up?

If Mydei is a pure stand-in for the concept of "the mythological hero," do we really need his timeline to make sense?

Is an aggrandized, dramatized recounting of his past and deeds not perfectly in keeping with the way every mythological hero's past is told?

Consider our real world heroes of yore--Beowulf, Odysseus, Gilgamesh--do any of them feel "real"? Do we think of them as actual historical figures who lived and died like we do, or are they larger-than-life heroes whose actions are all so fictionalized and exaggerated that they never could have happened in real life? Do we understand our heroes as sentient, three-dimensional existences? Do we know their thoughts, their feelings, their struggles outside the narrow confines of their legends?

Or do they exist just to be morals, role models, symbols?

In fact, there is evidence suggesting that many mythological figures like Gilgamesh and Beowulf were real kings who actually lived in our real world--but we will never know the true stories of those men, because their truth has been entirely consumed by narrative.

Fiction eclipses fact.

We take the shadows on the wall to be "truth," and never see the real world beyond the cave.

Mydei's story is a microcosm for what is happening in Amphoreus's plot as a whole, a concentrated example of what occurs when memory becomes "blurry or gets idealized."

It's a pointed commentary on the nature of storytelling, because you never tell the exact same story twice. Over time, as you recall the tale, it changes, minute details being washed away in favor of remembered generalizations, hyperbole, and shifting interests. Every person who retells the story, every new perspective on the original material, brings their own agenda to the table, further altering the original until it barely resembles what really occurred.

As Trailblazer and Co. struggle with the question of how to make Amphoreus real from the memories we have gathered--and whether we want to recreate the world accurately or pen a different, much happier ending--we see that same struggle play out in miniature through Mydei, whose true life and true voice are being subsumed in before our very eyes by myth, by legend, by others turning him into a convenient symbol or source for their own speculation.

Through Mydei, we see the dangers of what can happen when memory becomes "beautified," capturing fiction rather than truth.

But more than its reflection on his overall role in the story, I think there's a fascinating side effect of choosing the concept of "storytelling" as Mydei's central theme: Writing him as a character whose real thoughts and feelings are eclipsed by other people's perspectives puts Mydei in a position normally occupied by female characters in media--the position of having to fight for agency.

(Before I go any further with this point, because the Star Rail fandom has literacy issues, let me doubly clarify: I am not talking about the experiences of actual real world women here [although they do often reflect fictional women's experiences]--I am talking strictly about the roles and struggles stereotypically assigned to female characters in media. If you can't keep that context in mind, stop reading here, because I don't want to deal with pancakes-and-waffles people who think saying "Media frames X as a feminine trait" is equivalent to saying "Real people can't be feminine if they don't experience X." PLEASE.)

Okay, with that out of the way, what I mean is this:

One of the most common experiences of female characters in media, especially in media written primarily by men, is being unable to speak for themselves. The stories of female characters are often told almost exclusively through the lens of their male protagonist counterparts, and female characters are often given less interiority. Even in cases where female characters are able to express their own individual thoughts and feelings, those thoughts and feelings are often dismissed in favor of others' interpretations. ("Oh, so you actually mean ____" or "You don't really feel that way.")

Because Mydei is a character whose role in the story is defined by his truth being eclipsed under mythology (his actual thoughts and feelings hidden behind the game sharing only the perspectives of outsiders), he also effectively becomes a character who does not speak for himself, willingly or not.

Obviously Mydei's character stories are perfect proof of this, locking us out of his own inner world by giving us almost entirely the views of others, one of whom even rejects the very notion that Mydei could be exactly who he is, saying "There's no way such a person could exist," no way this would be real behavior, no way Mydei could be an altruistic and kind person:

The "As I've Written" chapters double-down on this notion, stating multiple times that Mydei is "a man of few words" who rarely conveys his thoughts on any matter. He is repeatedly described as "going silent." Worse, even when he does convey his thoughts, others find his words to be "absurd" and abandon him:

Hell, even Mydei's marketing materials get in on this impression:

But this trend towards silence happens outside of Mydei's written materials too. Over and over again, the game puts Mydei into positions where other people tell him how he should be thinking or feeling. It isn't that other people are always wrong about Mydei's feelings, but that the game consistently frames Mydei's emotions through other characters, rarely letting him be the one to express himself.

It happens with Krateros numerous times, but most clearly in the memory fragment after Mydei kills his father, where Krateros literally tries to tell Mydei what he's supposed to be feeling and how he should react to what just happened:

It occurs with the Chrysos Heirs several times, such as Tribbie telling Mydei how he should feel after Phainon's failed trial (no, I'm not blaming Tribbie here; she didn't do this maliciously):

We even see this happen with Phainon, who ends up interpreting Mydei's feelings on Mydei's behalf:

There's actually a running joke throughout 3.0, 3.1, and Mydei's "As I've Written" about other people (read as: Phainon) acting as historian in Mydei's stead, to speak about his past on Mydei's behalf, instead of Mydei sharing his own perspective on Kremnos's culture:

In 3.1, we get to see a Mydei who struggles to articulate his own thoughts and find the "right' words, and a Mydei who is keenly aware of the many times his thoughts fall of deaf ears, when his words fail to move the people he truly needs to persuade:

And nowhere do I think this futility in speaking for himself is clearer than in Mydei's highly symbolic relationship with language itself. It's no accident that Mydei "rarely speaks his native tongue" and the Kremnoan dictionary is jokingly referred to as "blank":

Since Mydei is synonymous with Kremnos, we can say that the game's refusal to let him speak much Kremnoan--and the game's refusal to let the Kremnoan language speak for itself--is equivalent to Mydei's inability to express his "true" self on his own terms. The emptiness of the Kremnoan language, though played as a joke, also effectively mirrors Mydei's silence as a character. Just as Mydei does not embrace his native language, he's not comfortably able to express the things he wants to say as a whole.

But how are we actually supposed to interpret this silence?

Is Mydei being spoken over or is he just choosing not to speak? Is this solely a case of Mydei making the mature decision not to respond to others' provocations, not to lower himself to deny false accusations? Does he just want to keep all his feelings hidden deep down?

I think you could easily interpret Mydei's constant returns to silence, interpret the game's decision to have all of his story told through others, as an example of classic "manly" stoicism, a male character simply refusing to be vulnerable or speak his true thoughts or feelings out loud. Maybe we could argue that Mydei simply doesn't see the point in telling the truth about himself, because he knows people will invent their own stories anyway.

But... to be honest, I think the framing is a little different with Mydei. He's not actually that stoic or detached from his feelings. In fact, he's frequently rather candid about his emotions, significantly more so than Amphoreus's other primary male characters, Phainon and Anaxa. Although he rarely speaks his own inner thoughts, Mydei readily tells others (namely Phainon) to stop trying to hide their emotions, and in 3.1, he does actually try repeatedly to share his personal concerns, frustrated by the irony that his own language supposedly doesn't even have words for the things he's feeling.

While he is certainly reserved, Mydei does not seem to ascribe to the toxic idea that men should never express their feelings, and he doesn't aggressively hold his cards close to his chest. I don't get the impression that Mydei wants his life to be eclipsed by rumors and others' distorted, biased perspectives--I don't think he really wants to be silent.

In fact, in several moments across 3.0 and 3.1, Mydei tries quite hard to articulate his true wishes and thoughts... only for others to talk over and dismiss what he is saying.

We see this happen even all the way back when Mydei was a child, trying to express his dreams:

As a joke, this happens during 3.0 with Phainon, who "translates" Mydei's lofty way of speaking for the Trailblazer into different (inaccurate) words during their journey through Kremnos, even at one point going "Yeah, to be honest I have no idea what Mydei's trying to say either. Let's just move on."

We see it happen in 3.1 with Aglaea, who (for her own valid reasons) refuses to acknowledge Mydei's feelings about the coreflame of Strife, writing his reservations and fears off as "foolhardiness and indecision."

We see this happen even with Chartonus, who questions why someone like Mydei would be "terrified" of fulfilling his destiny, only for Mydei to struggle to explain the depths of his fear of losing himself to Strife.

"Why wouldn't I be terrified?" he says in 3.1, only for literally everyone to ignore him.

We see this happen with Krateros and the Kremnoan elders, who both explicitly scold Mydei for acting like a submissive (read as: stereotypical impression of femininity) prey animal instead of an dominant (read as: stereotypical impression of masculinity) predator.

I've written about this elsewhere, but this is the direct rhetoric that feeds into Mydei's "As I've Written" story based on the proverb "Until the lion has its own historian, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter." This proverb directly targets the duplicitous nature of storytelling, where one side of the story often gets told and the other is forgotten--clearly intertwined with Mydei's case, where the truth of his story goes untold in favor of the other side's perspective, where predator and prey are switched, and the lion becomes the victim, not the victor.

In fact, Mydei taking this supposedly "prey" role (serving another's cause, where his wishes are a distant second to the wishes of others), becomes one of Eurypon's foremost complaints when Mydei is confronted by his father's ghost: Mydei is the kind of person to quietly support others (a role stereotypically given to female characters), which flies directly in the face of Eurypon's near constant attempts to project himself and his own violent, "kingly" emotions onto Mydei.

So, all together: A character whose actual feelings are dismissed, downplayed as too emotional and not befitting his station, who finds his words falling on deaf ears, who is perpetually projected upon by the men in his life, and is constantly having his thoughts interpreted by others on his behalf instead of getting to be his own "voice"?

It's literally the quintessential fight of female characters across centuries of storytelling, and Hoyo deciding to assign this conflict to what initially appears to be one of their most stereotypically masculine figures in the entire game is fascinating, because it changes what is otherwise a cut-and-dry story of the prodigal son refusing to carry on his father's legacy into a significantly more complex, gendered reading: What if the son is not intuitively an aggressive, commanding man, but someone who struggles to articulate himself, who despite being able to carry the banner of leadership whenever he must, actually seeks the quiet, supportive role for himself when given the freedom to do so?

When people say that they were pleasantly surprised by Mydei's charcter because he wasn't the macho brute they were expecting him to be, I think what they are actually perceiving is this, the incredible dichotomy of taking the most classic masculine story of all time--son surpassing his father, prince becoming king--and assigning it to a character whose central emotional conflict is, historically, feminine. This is cool! This is really, really unique and cool!

But if all that isn't enough to convince you that Hoyo is doing crazy interesting (and surprisingly gender-nonconforming) things with Mydei's role in Amphoreus's story, then that's fine, because I haven't even actually gotten to the wildest part:

Setting aside entirely whether Mydei is able to speak for himself, the game deliberately and constantly goes out of its way to put Mydei into situations where he has no say in the things that are happening to him, once again assigning Mydei a conflict typically given to female characters across centuries of storytelling: the quest to gain agency.

Despite the game initially framing Mydei as powerful leader and strong decision-maker who could never be swayed by others, a warrior who would fight against fate with his very life on the line, drilling down into his story reveals a character who has effectively had no control over the course of his life at any given point in time, both in a conscious sense and in the meta sense of being a simulation in Irontomb's loops.

From the time of his birth, a prophecy dictated the entire course of Mydei's early life, setting his path in stone in a way that he seemingly couldn't have avoided even if he wanted to. He's thrown into the sea, left with no choice but to fight every day for survival--but even inside the sea, despite actively saving fishermen, Mydei never saves himself, simply staying in the ocean he supposedly despises until... what? He achieves a level of power sufficient to fulfill his future prophecy? 🤔 Later, Mydei will go on to describe his destined clash with his father as merely an "obligation to be carried out"--not something that ultimately made him happy or felt like a choice he was making of his own free will, but a moral duty to avenge his mother, done in the service of her honor.

Even serving as Kremnos's crown prince isn't actually portrayed as something Mydei was ever excited about, something he truly wanted for himself. In his memories, it's his closest friends and Krateros constantly urging him to take up the throne, and it's of course the Kremnoan people as a whole endlessly begging him to guide them in their pursuit of Strife and glory...

Outside of just his thoughts and words, the game constantly shows us scenes of Mydei being told, as the crown prince, how he should act, what he must do:

Essentially, Mydei escaped from the sea and in very short order was thrust into the role of stewardship with little (to no) chance to choose a fate separate from Kremnos. This happens despite the fact that Mydei is personally and repeatedly framed as "the least Kremnoan of them all," a boy who seemingly never grasped the faith of his fellow Strife worshippers. In his flashback with his mother, Mydei's very first question is "Why do we have to learn to fight at all?"--not something a "normal" crown prince of Kremnos would ever be asking.

Yes, yes, before you get up in arms: Of course Mydei loves the Kremnoans and has enormous pride for his people, don't get me wrong. I don't think he hates being their crown prince at all. I think he would never give up the position unless he was 110% confident that his people were ready to lead themselves or that someone else could truly and completely rule them better than he could. All I'm saying is that it's also abundantly clear that Mydei never actually had any say in whether he would become the Kremnoans' leader; that the role was something put onto him from the moment he was born, with fate once again dictating the course of his life.

Before going into the events that take place during the game's actual plot, I also think there's one other major aspect of Mydei's overall character that should be read as a denial of his agency, and that's Mydei's "curse of immortality." 3.2 tried to reframe Mydei's immortality in a weird way that frankly makes no sense (claiming that it was Mydei's choice all along, and that he was the one deciding not to die), but literally everywhere else in the game, it's made pretty clear that Mydei's immortality is indeed a curse, one that he can't be rid of unless he is stabbed in his tenth vertebra, and thus even the circumstances of the end of his life are largely outside his control. Phainon remarks on exactly this when Mydei describes losing all his friends, sympathizing with how Mydei was prevented even from joining his loved ones in death no matter how many times life was taken from him, no matter how many times he sacrificed himself on the altar. (This is why Khaslana's parting words to Mydei in the cycles are so meaningful, because Khaslana is actively choosing to view his violence against Mydei as a way of setting Mydei free.)

Okay, now the more recent stuff: The first time we see Mydei seemingly exercise any form of agency is in making the decision to bring the Kremnoans to Okhema, but from the players' perspective, we ultimately know this is no real agency either: The simulation demands that Mydei join the Flame-Chase--"fate" was always going to guide him to Aglaea in some shape or form. Furthermore, the decision to join Aglaea is framed by literally everyone else in the story as Mydei "submitting" to her authority, Mydei giving up his power to a "usurper," and Mydei being "bewitched," all phrases once again implying an inability to make his own decisions.

This ultimately proves true not long later, when, throughout the first portion of patch 3.1, we actively watch Mydei be manipulated, against his explicit wishes, into taking the coreflame of Strife.

Even though he says he doesn't condemn Aglaea and Tribbie for their manipulations, it doesn't change the fact that Mydei was being manipulated, pushed into a corner by Aglaea choosing to use the safety of the person he cared for as a weapon against him. It also doesn't change the fact that Mydei spends the entire first half of 3.1 admitting to multiple people that he's terrified of becoming the demigod of Strife and having that fear continually dismissed by people who basically tell him to just deal with it, because that's his role in the prophecy and his fears that taking on Strife will ultimately lead his people into meaningless death are really not that important in the grand scheme of things.

3.1 was literally "Watch the entire cast strip Mydei of his agency," the patch.

And then the craziest of them all: Finding out that it isn't just Cycle 33,550,336 Mydei who was struggling with a lack of autonomy but seemingly every Mydei, all the way back to Cycle 0, where he's once again put into a situation where he functionally has no choice but to comply:

In Cycle 0, we're told that Mydei brought the Kremnoans to Okhema and then went before the Okheman Council of Elders to sue for civil rights--literally all he asked for was equal rights for his people.

In return, Aglaea pulled the strings on the situation so that Mydei would lose this duel and she could make her demand of him: Join my emo band Flame-Chase Journey. (Again, nothing against Aglaea, she was doing what she thought she had to do, but damn what a cutthroat way to do it.)

Effectively, in 3.4 we get to once again watch Mydei trade himself to ensure the happiness of others, giving away his own freedom so that the Kremnoans could just have basic equal rights. What the fuck, Hoyo?

This was extortion in real time, right before our eyes.

Hell, Mydei not getting to make his own decisions happens even the game's silliest joke media!

Can't even sleep unmolested, constantly getting dragged around by Phainon? Just shaking my head, for real for real. LET MY BOY BE! 😂

Okay, back to being serious: Overall, Mydei's lack of agency is so consistent and so clear-cut, that even Mydei himself seems to be fully aware he has very little freedom amidst the crippling demands put upon him by his station and his prophecy:

This is why Mydei's decision in 3.1, to dissolve the Kremnoan dynasty, is framed so intensely as "taking back agency for himself," as choosing to make a decision that wasn't aimed at trying to make everyone else happy:

Making a decision that isn't to please others? Oh Mydei, you are so "single female protag finding her independence" coded.

This is framed as Mydei finally getting to make HIS OWN decision, his way to make a better future for his people. We're supposed to perceive this as Mydei casting off the shackles of others' perceptions of him to take the brave step forward and do what he believes is truly right. It's not about making others' happy, but about securing the only real way forward to a future, and the game tells us that Mydei only feels comfortable with his own fate after he's able to make this choice on behalf of his people--not with their permission, but by the virtue of finally finding his own voice.

Except thatttt... the moment you actually think about what is happening here, the illusion of Mydei having free will falls apart, and Amphoreus's cruel irony sets in.

Early in 3.1, Krateros says that Mydei is a headstrong person who always does what he wants:

But as we delve deeper into Mydei's story, it becomes clear that even Mydei's most headstrong decisions (such as bringing the Kremnoans to Okhema) aren't done in his own self-interest or simply whatever Mydei "pleases"--all of his decisions, every single one we're shown in the game, are done in the service of others, doing what Mydei feels compelled to do to fulfill his duty to protect the people he loves. He didn't bring the Kremnoans to Okhema just because he personally wanted to--he brought them there because he believed that was the only way to save them. He didn't join the Flame-Chase Journey of his own free will--it was just the only path to secure any future for his people at all.

As I've written before, even this decision in 3.1 (to dissolve the Kremnoan dynasty, take up the coreflame of Strife, and go home alone to fight the Black Tide) wasn't actually for Mydei himself.

In fact, it flat out runs contrary to Mydei's most deeply held personal wishes. Mydei didn't want to become Strife. Mydei didn't want to return to Kremnos's ways and spend every remaining moment of his life at war. Mydei was seeking a home to call his own--a land to finally belong in--and then had to give away all the peace and happiness he'd found in Okhema as his final gift to his people:

The decision in 3.1 doesn't actually represent Mydei gaining complete agency over his own decision-making or finally getting the freedom to pursue his own personal dreams--it's once again a decision he was obligated to make by his own unyielding sense of honor and his (admittedly noble) sense of responsibility for his people.

The fact that Mydei's decision to become the demigod of Strife still doesn't represent agency becomes doubly true with the reveal in 3.4 that all of Amphoreus is a pre-determined simulation, running on rails, with Mydei himself being a programmed figure unable to deviate from his assigned path. Every major decision simply leads down the same exact road that was decided eons ago: Mydei was always going to become the demigod of Strife. He was always going to leave Okhema. He was always going to die to Flame Reaver's blade.

The decision to return to Kremnos and take up Nikador's role is presented initially as Mydei's free will--but all along it was nothing more than playing into the "prophecy," playing on the side of the Black Tide and Lygus's goals. Mydei's character arc in 3.1 revolves soooo intensely around exercising agency, only for us to learn in 3.4 that he never stood a chance in the first place. (If this sounds familiar to Phainon's arc, that's because Mydei's arc is literally Phainon's arc, by the by.)

Ultimately, having the benefit of multiple patches of story now, we can look back over Mydei's current contributions to the plot and see the truly fascinating dichotomy of his character.

On the one hand, Mydei is a hyper-masculine character with a design that unquestionably insists on his identity as a man. A surface-level examination of his character presents a quintessentially masculine archetype: the wayward son, rejecting his father's shadow, growing into a role of stoic, solemn leadership, suppressing his own grief and loss to unwaveringly fulfill his duty as Chrysos Heir, prince, and king.

The obscured, hyperbolic retellings of his past paint him as a "hero of eld," an unmistakably male mythological figure akin to Achilles, Odysseus, or Gilgamesh.

Mydei refuses to be or even see himself as a victim, returning time and time again from death, stronger and more full of the wrath needed to survive in an apocalyptic world. Even when he has no freedom to actually make his own decisions, he does keep trying. He keeps fighting, endlessly, to make himself heard and to try to break the shackles of his fate, situating him firmly in the (traditionally) masculine figure of the "warrior."

But despite all of this exterior masculine trapping, Mydei's core inner conflicts are surprisingly feminine (that is, they're struggles more typically given to female characters in media):

Over and over and over again, we watch others speak for Mydei, rather than Mydei truly getting the chance to speak for himself. We're denied access to his inner world by the "they say"s and the "rumors rife," every single person getting their chance to weigh in on Mydei's story but Mydei.

In real time, we watch other characters dismiss his fears and hesitation as "foolishness," and interpret his feelings through their own lenses, without Mydei stepping up to correct them. We get to see Mydei struggle to articulate himself and make others take him seriously. People constantly tell him what he should do, what he shouldn't do, how he should act and how he shouldn't... His central conflict is explicitly centered on his fears of being unable to please everyone, and his ultimate role in the story is one of sacrifice, giving and giving and giving of himself to aid others.

One of the most common complaints about the roles assigned to female characters in media and one of the core litmus tests used to determine whether female characters have agency is the question "Does the plot happen to this character or do they drive the plot?"

The truth is that, for all his raging against the dying of the light, Mydei is a character who has things happen to him, rather than actually getting the chance to freely exercise self-determination in Amphoreus's plot.

So, so, so much of Mydei's character revolves around seizing back agency in a world that seeks to control every aspect of your existence--and this a story that has been told, time and again, with female characters. That's not to say that it's never been done with male characters before, of course it has, but that there is something incredibly interesting about making "finding your voice in a world that dismisses your feelings" the plot for a (supposedly) hyper-masculine character in a gacha game with a primarily male target audience.

Mydei, by all rights, should be one of the characters with the most power and most agency in all of Amphoreus. He's an extremely strong warrior, a kingslayer, a god. He's ripped, he's got a wicked heavy metal gore-filled trailer... On paper, he's "Man" with a capital M.

But Hoyo chose to do something more complicated with his character. They chose to do some truly interesting play on the question of autonomy, placing a Hero (also capital H) into the stereotypically restricted, silenced role where female protagonists have so often been relegated in the past, then left us players with the disconnect and discomfort of watching a male character be so bound by the expectations of others that even his greatest moment of defiance and free will turns out to just be playing into the hands of yet another person oppressing him.

Like so many female characters have in the past, Mydei doesn't get to be a "real" person with fully examined interiority. The game denies us this by insisting on his story being told almost entirely through the perceptions of others, by obscuring the truth of his past in a fog of confusion, by Mydei making the choices he is compelled to by duty and loyalty, not those that truly match his own inner wishes and dreams.

Mydei almost never gets the chance freely express his thoughts, have his feelings validated, or reclaim his freedom of choice from the systems exerting pressure on his life. The lion doesn't have its own historian, and we only get the truth of Mydei from Mydei himself in brief and barest flickers.

At the heart of Mydei's story lies a fascinating conundrum that creates a truly intriguing and layered character--all-powerful and yet powerless, hyper-masculine and yet voiceless, a myth more than a man.

Say whatever you want about Amphoreus's plot, pacing, etc., but geez, Mydei is a cool character.