#Direct Support Professionals

[tameramann]

WTF Moments They Neglect To Mention

Being a DSP Direct Support Professional is an incredibly challenging yet fulfilling job. Helping adults with developmental disabilities manage their lives is rewarding work; for the most part, your work is as stated in the job description. However, there are certainly those frustrating “WTF” moments they neglect to mention in the job description. Despite these moments, the work remains important…

[worldisahouseonfire]

this is really helpful, especially the thing about case managers, so i'm saving this for later. i think there's something in particular about case managers and caregivers/service providers in the developmental disability service system that makes them swallow even well-founded client anger and pain without batting an eyelash. like they think the anger is just a function of our disability, and not a response to being mistreated.

that being said it's so, so hard to actually get in a position where one can *enforce* boundaries and consequences for bad provider behaviors. boundaries aren't magical, and enforcing them can be hard (and risky!).

freewheelin's 'How to Protect Yourself From Caregiver Abuse When You Have a Disability' highlights how critical prevention is. but some of the tips are only useful for people who have privileges like screening applicants, living on their own, affording security measures, and having existing circles of support.

tpga has an old-but-still-good guide called 'Autonomy First! Accessing Good Supports Without Sacrificing Your Independence,' which addresses some of the difficulties people with i/dd face in accessing supports. plus it includes a link to one of my favorite things ever written by a direct support worker, 'When You Are a Personal Assistant, and a Disabled Person Is Your Boss' by amanda forest vivian. i think it's helpful in highlighting good qualities to look for in caregivers/direct support workers.

and this linkspam is mainly just to remind myself of things i need to think about moving forward. a transition seems imminent for me, one way or another. and i'm going to need direct support people in a jiffy. and desperation hires can be some of the worst, most damaging ones. aaaaaaaargh.

On the topic of caregivers, do you have any tips you'd be willing to share about how to find good ones? Anything that might not be obvious about how to have good working relationships with them? Or do you know of any resources about this? Thank you.

One thing I have found is that I had to learn to stand my ground about not allowing in bad ones.  I used to think that I had to put up with anything and everything short of horrible abuse (and sometimes even put up with horrible abuse, including sexual abuse) in order to prove that I was a “good client” and not “one of those bad clients who sends their staff away”.  And I was encouraged in that direction by abusive case managers.  But the turning point for me with caregivers was actually when I filed a complaint against an abusive case manager and won.  And in general, a lot of turning points for me have involved standing up to people.

But you have to stand up to them in the right way.  If you stand up to them ineffectually, it’s just as bad or worse as not standing up to them at all.  I’ve met people who think that they’re assertive and the sort of person that nobody could possibly walk all over – while people walk all over them.  Usually they’re people who will sit there and rant at someone about how wrong what they are doing is, or threaten them with action, but there’s no follow-through in any way that actually uses power effectively and there’s often a lot of excess aggression thrown in.  (And abusive caregivers will simply let you burn all that excess aggression off which hurts you and doesn’t harm them or stop them in any way.)  And I’m not good at explaining the difference.  And there is not always a good way to stand up to them, and sometimes it is better not to stand up to them.

If that sounds contradictory it’s because it’s complicated, and maybe it’s not the kind of thing I’m capable of explaining well.

But I do know that being assertive – not wildly aggressive, and not meek – has almost always gotten me more respect from people than any other way of dealing with people.  Setting actual boundaries and keeping to them.  Things like that.  People actually respect you more when you set boundaries than when you let them through your boundaries.  Even fairly decent people will be somewhat less respectful if you don’t have clear boundaries.  Which is horrible, but it seems to be the truth.

As far as good working relationships go, one thing I learned from watching my mother interact with people is that she asks them a lot of questions and lets them talk about themselves and that seems to make people like her more.  And I’ve found in addition to that it’s good to acknowledge that they’re doing hard work for very little pay.  And in general to do little things that show you know they’re human and not a programmable robot or something.  A lot of which should be obvious but isn’t always, especially to people with social skills problems (whether those problems are innate or come from never having had the social experiences most people had growing up to practice those things, and for autistic people I think it’s a combination of both and more).

[darkkbluee]

L for Minister AU

Light Yagami is desperate to know L's name and face. To know everything about his nemesis ("So I can kill him! Ryuk, stop laughing!"). And so, he turns on the TV, sees the promo video for the upcoming elections and thinks...

L would have to show up in person, unmasked and with his real name, if he was an elected Minister.

A few hours of paperwork filed anonymously and through a shady lawyer, a few hours of hacking and anonymous donations, and The Great Detective L is the latest minister candidate, running as an independent.

L does not know how or why he is suddenly running in the elections. Was this even legal? He wasn't even a citizen! Surely no one would vote for a candidate with no public appearances, a profile page with no photo, obviously overblown promises in propaganda -

Apparently, they would.

[cosmogyros]

That moment when you have to let people be wrong about you because correcting them would make you seem like an unbearable show-off

I was at a bookstore with a friend the other day and I was looking at a book in German that I was interested in buying, but then I saw that it was a translation and had originally been written in French

I commented idly to my friend "Sometimes I don't buy a book because it's a translation and I always prefer to read in the original language when possible" and she said in an agreeing-with-me way, "Yeah it would make more sense to read it in English"

and I realized she assumed I meant English when I said "original language"

but I couldn't bring myself to say "Yeah, or French or Dutch or Spanish or Italian or Portuguese or one of the other languages I read..." because like. who says that kind of thing.

[your-local-squirrel]

What do you wish your caretakers knew/understood about you?

Sincerely, someone who wants to do right by the individuals under my care (working at a long-term care facility for people with developmental disabilities).

[sbuggbot]

Long, rambling post incoming.

I'm a DSP. I work in a group home for adults with intellectual or developmental disabilities. I'm also autistic; I just happen to need low support.

I do tangible, good work - the individuals I take care of are always happy to see me and like when I'm there to help them. (And being autistic myself, I have a unique perspective on things because in many ways, I'm a lot like them.) For many of these people, their families live not too far away but they still never come and visit or take them on home visits. (No all of them though-three or four of them do go home regularly on weekends, out of fourteen.) DSPs really are their family to them, and many view the older, longtime staff as parental figures.

But this post isn't about me.

The home I work at does not pass the burrito test. Or at least, I don't think it would. I don't think most of the individuals would even get the idea to try. Most of these people are in or approaching their fifties and sixties and have been living in this sort of environment since they first came of age. I wonder how much their autonomy has been repressed over the years. We don't have a set bedtime, but most are in bed before 8 or 9 pm (likely because of the medications they take and also many have to get up early to get assistance for morning showers). Most lack the skills to safely go out in the community unsupervised, as well.

As staff we micromanage so much of their daily lives. We have menus we are supposed to strictly follow and portion sizes we have to adhere to. We can substitute a food for a like food, but we still have to stick with what's on the menu. We can take suggestions from them but we have to follow what the dietician and doctor say, and any restrictions that come with that (like limiting junk food and pop to Saturday's Special Snack).

But even then, in training, it is hammered into our heads that these people are in fact people and that they do have rights. The individuals know it, too, and will tell you that. As staff, we can't just take away their things for misbehaving unless it's causing an immediate threat (like as a throwing projectile) or it's been laid out very specifically in a maladaptive behavior modification program, which has its own detailed process to be put in place, and it can't be permanent. Also, a number of these people are not their own guardian and there's all that entails.

They are getting to go out on outings a lot more nowadays thanks to our new house manager, and they love to do so, but that's all reliant on adequate staff. And let me tell you, the retention rate is terrible for DSPs because it's grueling, thankless work. You can easily end up running around like a headless chicken trying to keep everyone's needs met and make sure things are done on time (such as medication passes and dinner, while also ensuring showers are getting done and cleaning up any accidents or messes and making sure nobody starts a fight). I have my days where I get completely overwhelmed.

I'm honestly not sure where I'm trying to go with this post. I'm part of this massive and far from perfect system, and sometimes I wonder if I'm just adding onto the systematic oppression disabled people face...

[redheadedfailgirl]

So my favorite manager came back and I thought things would start to chill out and become more sensible and straightforward. But APPARENTLY the other managers who DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR MY COWORKERS OR ANYONE AT THE HOUSE I WORK AT (Other than the nepo baby who's a manager's son) are not happy with me for some unstated reason.

Apparently I'm not doing good at the duties they never fucking gave me training for and I'm not communicating things they never told me they needed to be looped into. And they've just been staring in this for the past two months my favorite manager was gone for, WITHOUT SAYING A DAMN WORD. And now it sounds like they're seriously pissed.

And I don't know what the fuck to do with that. Like how am I supposed to do things no one explains or even articulates as my responsibility? Why are most of these things even my responsibility to begin with?!? WHY IS IT THAT MY COWORKERS HAVE BEEN HAVING A STICKY NOTE WAR ON A BLENDER AND IM THE ONE THEYRE PISSED OFF AT?

I'm just so sick of having so many things suddenly get dropped on my lap, and being micromanaged by the nepo baby at work, and being silently judged for how I do fucking everything. I would love this job if not for who I have to work with and the hours I have to work and I have no control over either of those. And I fucking want to stab.

[joutsummer]

.

[tangerinecreationsx]

DSP appreciation drawing, I’ll be pitching to my boss as a mural project for our office.

[psychiatricwarfare]

FUCK man i shouldve applied to this job years ago!!! not only is it amazing to be surrounded by other disabled people all day but it's also incredible to be forced to not only think of what i Can do instead of what i cant &&& to help other disabled people do the same! to be able to make closer bonds with them because i Get It. to be able to have a job where i can visibly see the impact i have! to yell at ableists if they say shit to/about one of the people in my group (or myself)! my actual JOB is to advocate for disabled people! and the best part? a lot of staff there truly respect the people we help support. so many of them actually like coming to program every day because we dont force them to do anything they don't want to. we are trained to fully listen to them and their wants and needs!! i already feel so at home there, im already trusted by a few people that know im there to help them IF they need it and that's it. there is no "let me do this for you" but instead "would you like help with that?" and respecting their answer no matter what it is!!!! its treating adults like adults no matter what their disability is because They Are Adults!!!!!! i love this. i love disabled spaces. i love my community. i love being able to look at someone in my group and tell them "its okay, i need a lot of help too" and seeing the smile grow on their faces because they know im telling the truth. its absolutely incredible. they are helping me just as much as im helping them. we are living proof to each other that needing help is okay! most of the people who come to program live with adults who dont need much help and then come to program and work with more adults who dont need much help and so being able to be that bridge, that proof that they can do this too IF they want to, is incredible. not only that, but advocating for adults who want to stay in a program who have no interest in graduating or being fully independent because that's their right too. and i think what warms my heart the most is the amount of elderly people we have there. seeing people in our community grow old and hearing them talk about how things are so much better now. learning about the horrible ways they were treated when they were younger but they survived!! they survived those awful places and now just want to continue surviving, but happier.

i fucking love this job & im so fucking happy it fell into my lap the way it did. i couldnt be happier here

[tameramann]

Caregivers

There is a growing demand for Direct Support Professionals and Caregivers in our society. Many people seek fulfilling careers that provide a sense of purpose, and these roles offer just that. While these careers may not necessarily lead to significant financial gain, they are crucial for those with a strong sense of empathy and a desire to help others in need. If you are looking for a path in…

[himbo-kronk-stan]

Being ‘an authority’ should never be the goal with children of any neuro type, being the adult should be.

As in age doesn’t make one entitled to a little robot, and empathy/respect has to be practiced even when you’re firm.

"How am I supposed to tell the difference between an autistic child asking for clarification and a defiant child challenging my authority?"

You're not.

Wanting to be treated like an authority is inherently harmful to autistic people. And that's true no matter how many autism textbooks you read.

When you expect someone to obey you, you're naturally going to look for ways to interpret everything as disobedience.

And when you misinterpret something, no one is going to correct you. Your autistic child will not know how to explain things to you because their autism makes explaining things difficult, because they're a child who never had the chance to figure out how to do that, and because they'll be punished for arguing if they phrase something wrong. Other adults will most likely also be authoritarian and will agree with you. Other children will most likely be afraid they'll get in trouble too if they don't stay out of it. And when no one corrects you, you'll naturally use that as evidence that you're right.

[livescan360]

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[ipso-faculty]

Perisex allies: stop this shit

CW: intersexism

Came across this infographic during some google image searching and I'm still kind of a state of despair about it because it's not just offensively wrong about what intersex is, it was used to teach university students about queer issues:

Alt text: LGBTQIA+ are defined one by one. Intersex is defined erroneously as "These are people who were born with genital organs of both sexes (male and female). It is a genetic condition."

It's one thing for your rando perisex person to be getting this wrong on social media. It's another thing entirely when it's professionals getting this wrong in an educational setting. 😩 And that this infographic appears in a peer-reviewed publication. 😩

It's even worse to know the students that were taught with this infographic were medical students, who will be the ones traumatizing intersex people for decades to come 😩

It's so wrong in so many different ways:

Intersex is not limited to people with genital differences. Most intersex people have intersex variations that are not apparent at birth, with puberty being the most common time of life for variations to present. Many people find out in adulthood having no outward physical differences.

Of the intersex people with genital differences, they do not have two sets of genitals. Most genital differences are still recognizably female or male (e.g. spadias), and those who have ambiguous genitals have one set.

Intersex is not "male parts + female parts" or even "intermediate male/female parts", it is an umbrella term for anybody whose primary/secondary sex characteristics don't line up with what is expected for male and female bodies. Some intersex variations make women look more feminine, or make men look more masculine.

Defining intersex by genital differences doesn't just exclude most intersex people, it also sets the tone that we are defined by our genitals. To be publicly intersex is to have non-stop DMs about your genitals. This sort of framing sets up openly intersex people for invasive questions and harassment, and it keeps large numbers of intersex people from coming out.

Many intersex variations do not have a known genetic basis. Many intersex variations are caused by exposure to certain hormonal levels in the womb. Certain medications when taken during pregnancy can trigger intersex variations.

While bodily variation is necessary for being intersex, the social experience of stigma, discrimination, isolation, hyper-medicalization, and hyper-sexualization are all just as much a part of being intersex.

📣 Perisex allies: this is shit you can stop. When you see other perisex people parrot this sort of misinformation, correct them. Direct them to look up resources written by actually intersex people.

Here are some starter resources to give:

Intersex explained by Hans Lindahl

Media and style guide by IHRA

FAQ by intersex-support

A recent post I did compiling information for trans people who want to be better intersex allies

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Aha - Take On Me 1985

"Take On Me" is a song by the Norwegian synth-pop band A-ha. The original version from 1984 was produced by Tony Mansfield and remixed by John Ratcliff. The 1985 international hit version was produced by Alan Tarney for the group's debut studio album, Hunting High and Low.

In 1984, Andrew Wickham was the international vice-president for Warner Bros Records America, and their A&R man in London. He immediately signed A-ha to Warner Brothers America, after learning several previous attempts had failed to make "Take On Me" a commercial success. The next release was not successful either and featured a very ordinary performance video. He authorised considerable investment in the band: on Slater's recommendation, renowned producer Alan Tarney was commissioned to refine the song. The new recording achieved a cleaner and more soaring sound. It was re-released in the UK, but the record label's office in London gave them little support, and the single flopped for the second time.

Wickham placed the band on high priority and applied a lateral strategy with further investment. Steve Barron directed a revolutionary rotoscoping animation music video which took six months to create, using professional artists. Approximately 3,000 frames were rotoscoped, which took 16 weeks to complete. The single was released in the US one month after the music video, and immediately appeared in the Billboard Hot 100 and was a worldwide smash, reaching No. 1 in numerous countries.

At the 1986 MTV Video Music Awards, the video won six awards: Best New Artist in a Video, Best Concept Video, Most Experimental Video, Best Direction in a Video, Best Special Effects in a Video, and Viewer's Choice, and was nominated for two others, Best Group Video and Video of the Year. It was also nominated for Favorite Pop/Rock Video at the 13th American Music Awards in 1986.

"Take On Me" received a total of 95% yes votes, and is currently the most liked song on this poll blog! 🥳

[secretmellowblog]

i think it's extremely unfair for you to say the actors are spineless. the producers and directors, yes. but the actors were literally having their livelihoods and future career prospects threatened if they spoke out or refused to perform.

grennell, the president of the kennedy center said, “Any performer who isn’t professional enough to perform for patrons of all backgrounds, regardless of political affiliation, won’t be welcomed. In fact, we think it would be important to out those vapid and intolerant artists to ensure producers know who they shouldn’t hire - and that the public knows which shows have political litmus tests to sit in the audience. The Kennedy Center wants to be a place where people of all political stripes sit next to each other and never ask who someone voted for but instead enjoys a performance together.”

and, i want to point out, that acting in Les Miserables is a job, not a life commitment or a political statement.

I stand by what I said: every single person involved in putting on the Les Miserables Kennedy center performance was either a spineless coward or a Trump supporter, and they should ALL be utterly ashamed of themselves. They're an insult to the novel's legacy. I'm shocked people are defending it. I used to sometimes wonder whether Victor Hugo's actions-- speaking up against Napoleon III's attacks on democracy-- were genuinely that important. After all, it's not like Hugo literally shot Napoleon III in battle or raised barricades against him with his own two hands-- he just used his platform to publicly criticize Napoleon III's attacks on democracy, knowing that he was doing it at a great personal risk. And he was right about the risks-- publicly speaking against Napoleon III did radically change Hugo's life, it did radically alter the course of his career, he did lose a lot of the power he used to have, and he was forced into exile away from everything he knew.

And Les Miserables was the product of that sacrifice. it is the novel he wrote from exile, and it is thematically about his exile. It is a novel that was written as a defense of the principles of a democratic republic, and as an encouragement for people to speak truth to power and stand against tyrants even when it came at great personal risk. But like... I'm honestly starting to respect Hugo's sacrifice a lot more now that multiple people have reached out to me claiming that it's ridiculous to ask that people starring in a musical adaptation of Victor Hugo's novel accept any level of personal discomfort to stand up to a modern dictator. I'm obsessed with the idea that Les Miserables shouldn't have to mean anything-- that these performers can cosplay as revolutionaries Risking it All to stand Up to Powerful People, while also being spineless cowards claiming they can't accept any personal discomfort/risk whatsoever to stand up to an actual modern dictator. Even when- again!-- they are starring in a story that is literally the product of Hugo's personal sacrifice standing up against Napoleon III! No, I wouldn't care as much if it were some piece of hollow corporate trash like "Back to the Future the musical" or some other garbage. I wouldn't' even care as much if it were another hollow "stick it to the man musical" like Wicked, where all the revolution theming is just hollow window dressing. I do care when it's Les Miserables, because the original novel was written by a man who WAS willing to make that personal sacrifice, and wrote the novel ABOUT that sacrifice. I care that now these people are making their living off of Victor Hugo's legacy-- but start crying about how "they're just poor smol beans who can't do anything uwu" when asked to make even a fraction of the sacrifice that he did, the sacrifice that Les Miserables is about, the sacrifice it exists to encourage. Thousands of people were out on the street demonstrating this weekend to send a message to Donald Trump-- and when this group of artists had a direct line to make a statement to him, the thing thousands of people are out on the streets trying to get, they cowered in fear and refused. Instead they sang to make him feel good, like he was the Hero of the musical--something he already believes-- all while playing pretend as brave revolutionaries making big risks. A democratic lawmaker was shot to death this weekend, but asking a performer to care about the meaning of the art they're profiting off of is "too big of a sacrifice." give me a break. Despite everything, I do think art means something. I think art is more than "a job," I think art is more than a hollow corporate product and vehicle for profit. Les Miserables means something, and it's important that it means something.

But that means it's also important to call out the shocking hypocrisy of what the story has been warped into. The novel does have meaning and even the musical does have meaning-- and that's why I am so outraged that people are dismissing that meaning as irrelevant. It's like Orwell's description of art in dystopia as being a simply "a commodity that had to be produced, like jam or bootlaces."

Honestly, if the actors wanted to sing songs about how it's ridiculous to ask them to take any personal risks or sacrifices to speak truth to power.... they shouldn't be in Les Miserables. Instead they should just get onstage and sing this song from The Sound of Music about compromising with Nazis for three hours: