#notes for future me

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[dillyt]

Great news for uninsured adults in the USA who want a COVID-19 booster! It now appears that ALL CVS locations are now active participants in the Bridge Access Program. The Bridge Access Program gives out free Covid-19 vaccinations to 18+ adults who otherwise can't afford one, so if you have a CVS near you, please go get one! For others who don't have a CVS near them, please go to vaccines.gov, click on "Find Covid-19 vaccines", fill out which vaccines you prefer (you can mix different vaccines if you have to so i reccomend just marking all of them for the age groups you need), and when the next page loads mark the "Bridge Access Program Participant" option to see only locations that are Bridge Access Program participants. Hopefully, other places that aren't CVS will start participating soon, so just check back every so often to see if there are any updates. The CDC Bridge Access Program website also has more details on what locations will be participating, but only CVS is appearing as an active participant on the vaccines.gov location finder at the moment.

[onesingularbraincell]

okay so listen up gang i have resorted to peer pressure to motivate me to do things

we're starting off at an ambitious 30 notes to sleep at a reasonable time tomorrow (like 10:00pm)

50: drink a socially acceptable amount of water per day

100: sit down and study for 2 hours straight

150: read more

200: set my time out thing on my phone to 2 hours and STICK TO IT

300: a consistent sleep schedule (in bed WITHOUT my phone by 10:30pm LATEST)

500: wake UP at around 8 in the morning and actually get up out of bed instead of reaching for my phone

600: brush my teeth and put on retainers every day

700: consistent exercise

1k: play piano consistently and learn merry-go-round-of-life

1.5k: play guitar consistently

2k: start writing again

anything counts (comments, reblogs, likes whatever)

goal reached

working on it

done (for none-definitive goals, im going to put this when ive completed the goal consistently for two weeks, and put it back on working on it when i fail to complete the goal for 3 days in a row)

[siire314]

putting my degree into something useful for once

[worldisahouseonfire]

this is really helpful, especially the thing about case managers, so i'm saving this for later. i think there's something in particular about case managers and caregivers/service providers in the developmental disability service system that makes them swallow even well-founded client anger and pain without batting an eyelash. like they think the anger is just a function of our disability, and not a response to being mistreated.

that being said it's so, so hard to actually get in a position where one can *enforce* boundaries and consequences for bad provider behaviors. boundaries aren't magical, and enforcing them can be hard (and risky!).

freewheelin's 'How to Protect Yourself From Caregiver Abuse When You Have a Disability' highlights how critical prevention is. but some of the tips are only useful for people who have privileges like screening applicants, living on their own, affording security measures, and having existing circles of support.

tpga has an old-but-still-good guide called 'Autonomy First! Accessing Good Supports Without Sacrificing Your Independence,' which addresses some of the difficulties people with i/dd face in accessing supports. plus it includes a link to one of my favorite things ever written by a direct support worker, 'When You Are a Personal Assistant, and a Disabled Person Is Your Boss' by amanda forest vivian. i think it's helpful in highlighting good qualities to look for in caregivers/direct support workers.

and this linkspam is mainly just to remind myself of things i need to think about moving forward. a transition seems imminent for me, one way or another. and i'm going to need direct support people in a jiffy. and desperation hires can be some of the worst, most damaging ones. aaaaaaaargh.

On the topic of caregivers, do you have any tips you'd be willing to share about how to find good ones? Anything that might not be obvious about how to have good working relationships with them? Or do you know of any resources about this? Thank you.

One thing I have found is that I had to learn to stand my ground about not allowing in bad ones.  I used to think that I had to put up with anything and everything short of horrible abuse (and sometimes even put up with horrible abuse, including sexual abuse) in order to prove that I was a “good client” and not “one of those bad clients who sends their staff away”.  And I was encouraged in that direction by abusive case managers.  But the turning point for me with caregivers was actually when I filed a complaint against an abusive case manager and won.  And in general, a lot of turning points for me have involved standing up to people.

But you have to stand up to them in the right way.  If you stand up to them ineffectually, it’s just as bad or worse as not standing up to them at all.  I’ve met people who think that they’re assertive and the sort of person that nobody could possibly walk all over – while people walk all over them.  Usually they’re people who will sit there and rant at someone about how wrong what they are doing is, or threaten them with action, but there’s no follow-through in any way that actually uses power effectively and there’s often a lot of excess aggression thrown in.  (And abusive caregivers will simply let you burn all that excess aggression off which hurts you and doesn’t harm them or stop them in any way.)  And I’m not good at explaining the difference.  And there is not always a good way to stand up to them, and sometimes it is better not to stand up to them.

If that sounds contradictory it’s because it’s complicated, and maybe it’s not the kind of thing I’m capable of explaining well.

But I do know that being assertive – not wildly aggressive, and not meek – has almost always gotten me more respect from people than any other way of dealing with people.  Setting actual boundaries and keeping to them.  Things like that.  People actually respect you more when you set boundaries than when you let them through your boundaries.  Even fairly decent people will be somewhat less respectful if you don’t have clear boundaries.  Which is horrible, but it seems to be the truth.

As far as good working relationships go, one thing I learned from watching my mother interact with people is that she asks them a lot of questions and lets them talk about themselves and that seems to make people like her more.  And I’ve found in addition to that it’s good to acknowledge that they’re doing hard work for very little pay.  And in general to do little things that show you know they’re human and not a programmable robot or something.  A lot of which should be obvious but isn’t always, especially to people with social skills problems (whether those problems are innate or come from never having had the social experiences most people had growing up to practice those things, and for autistic people I think it’s a combination of both and more).

[booklovertwilight]

the death of a god savior human

[astrocafecoffee]

Astro observation (part six ) - spouse edition 💗

🌟 FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ENJOY 🌟

~~~~~~~~~~~💗💗~~~~~~~~~~~~

☞ Masterlist

Note: In the case of groom/ briede pc , if you are interested in men then check groom pc but if women then briede pc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~💗💗~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♥️ Groom/Briede sextile/trine Venus in natal chart- your fs could awaken undeniable magnetism within you , especially in social or romantic contexts. Your fs might bring out your most charismatic and charming self which will make you feel more attractive and drawing people to you, whether it's through your energy, your presence or your aura.

♥️ Groom/ Briede sextile/ trine Chiron in natal chart -

This is a unique love. It may feel like a journey of awakening and transformation. Your fs may encourage you to see love as an evolving process, not something static or confined to traditional views of romantic relationships. This could open your eyes to a new type of connection which is based on mutual healing, growth and a deeper understanding of love that is not only nurturing but also freeing.

♥️ I have seen individuals who have groom or briede opposite northnode in natal chart may face many hardships in loves before committing to their fs.

♥️ union in 6th house in your natal chart - a spiritual union with your fs. The ambience of your wedding day will be very magnetic. A spiritual union between two souls. I think you married them in the past lives too. (12th house union in derivative astrology).

♥️ Uranus opposite union asteroid in natal chart- could meet your fs through social media or after meeting them face to face you guys could connect with social media because of long distance. This placement could also indicate unpredictable relationship. People are confused how you guys meet or how this relationship works with your fs. Maybe a huge age gap, social status differences etc.

♥️ Briede opposite fama in natal chart - if you are popular/ or in the public eye in some way or if your spouse is a public figure then it can create some obstacles between your relationships. You could feel like people are constantly meddling between you guys and gossiping about you. You might want privacy but people are getting on your nerves. All the best guys 🥲.

♥️ Jupiter in 7th house in natal chart - everytime I feel so excited after seeing this placement in someone's chart. This is ideal placement for marriage and relationships. Jupiter is expansion. The relationship with your fs will be very comforting, nurturing, you will feel like this relationship changes you for better. You feel safe in their arms.

♥️ Europa in 11th house in groom/briede/juno pc - your fs could be very popular among their community or friends. In a bigger sense They could be a public figure/ social media influencer. If it's in leo then the chances of them being a famous personality is prominent.

♥️ if you have part of fortune conjunct groom in fama persona chart then there's high chance your fs might be a famous figure or even a celebrity.

♥️ Venus opposite descendant in groom pc/juno pc - your fs might feel a sense of tension between what they desire in a relationship and what they actually need for emotional balance. There could be dissatisfaction in commited partnerships if they feel they are not getting the romantic satisfaction they crave.

♥️ union conjunct Ceres in groom pc/juno pc - the initial meeting with your fs may feel like you've found someone who instinctively understands how to nurture and support you , possibly offering you a sense of emotional safety you haven't experienced before.

♥️ Groom opposite saturn in groom/ briede or juno pc - your fs might have a tendency to hold back emotionally, especially when it comes to showing affection or vulnerability. There might be a sense that they need to feel secure before fully opening up. They may appear more reserved or distant when you first meet, possibly taking time to fully commit or express their feelings. This could require patience and effort on both sides.

♥️ Asteroid spirit(37452) in Scorpio/ in 8th house/ in 12th house/ in Pisces in groom/ briede/ juno pc could mean your fs has ability to talk to spirits. They can feel spirits around them. Possibly they have interests in occult/ witchy things. Also spirits might talk to them in their dreams quite often.

♥️ Telephus (5264) in 3rd house/in Gemini of Groom/ Briede / juno pc could mean they could read others mind very well. They possess strong intuition.

♥️ if Telephus(5264) is in 12th house/in Pisces of Groom/ briede/ juno pc they this can indicate that you and your future spouse is already connected in the 5D realm. You might not aware of this very well but there's a constant telepathic connection is going on between you two.

♥️ Pintar( 33103) in 5th house/ in leo in groom / briede / juno pc could mean they are an excellent painter ( hobby or career). In general this could also mean they possess artistic qualities. If this conjunct sun then this could be their way of expressing themself.

♥️ Biblialexa (51895) in Gemini/ 3rd house in groom / briede / juno pc could mean they love to read books. Could be a bookworm lol. They could also be a writer. Check if 10th ruler conjunct this asteroid or if it's in 10th house then this could be their career as well. This could also indicate they could be some sort of teacher.

♥️ cook (3061) in 4th house/ 2nd house/ 6th house or in Virgo, Taurus, cancer in groom/ briede/ juno pc then this could mean they are very good cook. If this asteroid conjunct moon / mercury then the same meaning. They have a knack to try different cuisines.

♥️ moon opposite juno in groom/ briede/ juno pc could mean your fs is emotionally invested and nurturing but struggles with finding the balance between intimacy and commitment. There may be moments where he/she feels emotionally disconnected from his/her relationship expectations especially in long-term commitments. They need to work on this. But don't worry if they work on this your relationship will be fulfilling. Try to help them in this matter as well.

♥️ Uranus 5th house in groom/ briede/ juno pc could mean unexpected pregnancy or it could also be possible that you might become pregnant fast after marriage.

♥️ Venus conjunct Jupiter is one of the best aspect to have in your groom / briede/ juno pc. This indicates happy and fulfilling union. Your fs is that type of person who always see the best in others. This is very fortunate aspect.

♥️ makhaon (3063) in 6th house/in Virgo/conjunct 10th ruler in groom pc/ briede pc/ juno pc could mean your fs could work in healing/ medicine industry.

Or in general people comes to them for emotional support often. They are that friend when you need someones shoulder to cry they are always there for you. Also whatever work they do in a professional sense that can bring healing to others in some way.

♥️ makhaon (3063) in 12th house/ in Pisces in groom/ briede/ juno pc could mean they are into occult/ mysticism. They are into spiritual healing. Also they could be a great psychologist/ psychiatrist.

♥️ Asteroid Thalia(23) in leo / gemini/ Sagittarius or in 5th house or 3rd house in groom/ Briede/ juno pc then this could mean they are very witty, playful, possess comedian abilities and have a very good sense of humor. You will never feel bored with them. It will be like they are cracking jokes every minute and also they could be love to tease you alot.

♥️ Casanova(7328) conjunct union in groom / briede / juno pc could mean your fs will flirt with you alot upon the first metting. Hmm they have courage tho 🥲.

♥️ Casanova(7328)in 5th house/7th house or in Libra/gemini/leo / Aries in groom pc/ briede/ juno pc could mean they flirts with you alot every day. They are very bold, romantic and a passionate lover. They will tease you alot. If it conjunct Venus then it will be their love language.

Thanks for reading 💓

- PIKO 💖

[nightmarearian]

this is odydio to me

[lazer-t]

Now available on my BigCartel store: Themed Bundles

I now have a selection of themed bundles available on my store, themed after types of animals and regions. Each bundle is priced at a significant discount compared to buying all the contents individually.

Variety Bundles:

Tiger Bundle (stickers + magnets + bookmarks + prints)

Sticker Bundles:

Paleo Bundle | Bird Bundle | Fish Bundle | Invertebrate Bundle

Australia Bundle | Africa Bundle | South America Bundle

More themed bundles will be available in the future!

[rad-roche]

i figure being unable to sleep has left nick's timekeeping skills pretty bad

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

every time someone makes a counter argument to people who say 'why would edmund sell out his family for some turkish delight it's gross' with 'it was war time and there was a ration on sugar' or countless other defences of the choice of sweet my eye twitches cos like yeh that IS true (as well as turkish delight probably being a novelty in the uk at the time to feel like an indulgent treat whereas it's much more common place now, it's also quite a bit different from a lot of traditional british sweets lol... like imagine if c.s. lewis had gone for a stick of rock instead lol like the sentiment just wouldn't feel the same imo lol) but the thing is... that TOTALLY misses the point of why edmund made that decision lol

like, you have to remember that at the beginning of the story edmund is feeling resentful and bitter towards his other siblings and the rest of his family. he wasn't as confident as peter or as intelligent as susan or as sweet as lucy, he felt undervalued and under-appreciated by everyone in his life so it's fairly clear that when he meets a beautiful woman offering him (and him alone) all the sweets he could ever eat and a seat next to her ruling an entire kingdom away from his siblings and the rest of his family? like of COURSE he would have jumped at that opportunity lol!

like edmund's whole arc in the story is to being less selfish and to realise his family DOES value & love him lol it's not a complicated message to get behind lol but idk people get fixated on the turkish delight thing (a bit how people get fixated on the door thing in titanic but like that's an argument for another day lol) that they kinda forget what c.s. lewis was trying to actually say with that part of the story lol

[fatuismooches]

𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ♡

Prime Dottore: The original one who has seen and experienced it all. All the segments must answer to him. His ultimate goal besides having humanity surpass the Gods is curing his beloved.

Segment 01 - Alpha: Dottore's grumpy segment from his days in the Akademiya. The Outcast does not need friends or socialization, preferring to spend his time alone, but that feeling quickly dies down once he meets the person who changed the course of his life again. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment first was because he missed the days he once spent as a student with his sweetheart, but he'd never admit that to himself.

Segment 02 - Beta: Dottore's young and eccentric segment from his early days as a Harbinger. He can be easily irritated and impatient when it comes to working with others, but he has gained much personality due to a superb working space as well as meeting many other like-minded people, a stark difference considering he was merely an exiled student not too long ago. However, in Beta's free time, he solemnly works on yet another new gadget for his dearest to play with, adding it to one of the numerous boxes. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was because his expertise in machinery was too important to let go of.

Segment 04 - Delta: Dottore's serious and stern segment who frightens many agents solely due to his demeanor. Despite his somberness, this segment does not snap or raise his voice at others. His lack of attachment and emotion is a result of his growing loss, and simply a prelude to what's to come as things only continue to spiral. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was because of the many perfect traits an experimenter should have, despite the ways it was obtained.

Segment 06 - Zeta: Dottore's regretful segment that loathes his failure. He despises his shortcomings for being unable to prevent his dearest from centuries of suffering. Picked straight from the time when the original's loss hit him the hardest, it feels almost cruel to make this segment continuously live with such vivid, horrid memories. However, unlike all those years ago, Zeta now has a sweet voice to fill the void of unbearable silence. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was to have someone solely dedicated to working on medicines and cures, and perhaps... an uncomfortable reminder of what could be his reality if he can't save his lover.

Segment 10 - Zandy: Dottore's child segment from when he was just a boy. He is as innocent, carefree, and curious about the world just as any child would be, perhaps a bit too curious for others' liking. Although he boasts a cheerful attitude, he struggles to keep it up for certain reasons. However, Zandy continues to smile as he hasn't lost hope... yet - but the inevitable will happen one day. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was an interest in a child's perspective, but the only way he can understand it is with his darling's help.

Segment 18 - Sigma: Dottore's unusually kind segment that still retains certain unsavory qualities. He seems to be all smiles, and his softer voice tends to throw unprepared agents for a loop, but that calm smile can be turned into one of doom. Pinning down the time period Sigma is from is difficult, considering the existence of a segment like this just seems... wrong, but a good guess would be once he made his biggest step in surpassing the Gods, the pleasure and confidence from such blasphemy coursing through him. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was the understanding that a gentler demeanor was useful in dealing with certain personalities instead of his other selves.

Segment 21 - Phi: Dottore's female segment and an early prototype of Omega. Her existence is confusing but then again the idea of "segments" already breaks the rules of the world, so it's best not to question it. She is teasing and similarly selfish, though she hasn't quite reached the state the latest segment has, and she has three gleaming red gems instead. Therefore, Phi must be from a time when the original was reaching his limit with what the world has handed a special someone. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was to push the limits of what he could do once again and satisfy his curiosity.

Segment 24 - Omega: Dottore's selfish segment that has the highest authority after Prime himself, consequently outcasting himself from his other selves. Being the most selfish of them all, it can be assumed that Omega was plucked from a time when the original grew the most fed up with this world. His aura of arrogance and absolute confidence make it nigh impossible for anyone to read him, but finally being able to meet a certain someone has given him a chance to encounter a previously unachievable possibility. The reason why Prime chose to create this segment was simply the desire for another perspective, as well as needing another useful pair of hands.

[faunandfloraas]

[xxplastic-cubexx]

charles doddles

below the cut is notes for myself on how i draw him cause im SICK of being inconsistent !!!!!!!

[artisyghostlybird-gelat]

Just a chess piece to move around

1 /2 /3 /4 /5 /6 /7 /8 /9 /10 /11 /12 /💛13💛 // ALL

[marshmallowgoop]

My @heishinvalentineexchange2025 gift for the immensely kind and patient @caliowl333, who graciously allowed me to participate with a video instead of fic or art! (And wrote me a 20,000+-word piece in exchange?! Oh my goodness!)

Song is the SadBois & NIO Remix of "Other Side" by ILLENIUM, featuring Vera Blue, which you can listen to in full here. Ramblings under the cut!

When I first began seriously video editing, I didn't think much about composition or how well clips flowed together—lyric sync was arguably my main goal, and anime pieces were thrown onto the timeline pretty much purely based on that.

Now, I put much more care into the very visual elements—the effects, the match cuts, the dazzle. But in the process, I fear that I'm losing what audiences found engaging about my early videos: the actual ideas.

So, for this AMV, I aimed to put the most effort into a strong concept. The titular "other side" is a world without the Black Organization, where Shinichi can freely be himself. Heiji is waiting for that world, where he no longer has to lie and pat Conan's head and pretend that they're not peers, and Shinichi is dreaming of that world because he's always dreamed of working with somebody just like him. The thought of meeting Heiji someday, when he first learns of his existence (Episode 490), fills Shinichi with excitement. He does a lot on his own, but he also loves working on a team—and doing so, being with people, sharing his enthusiasm with others—is what he wants more than anything.

(Heck, there's even a piece of official art called "Conan's Dream Vacation" where he dreams of playing beach volleyball with Heiji and Ran and Kazuha—as himself.)

Sure, you could argue that Shinichi simply enjoys working with Heiji as Conan because Heiji treats him as he truly is. But the times he spends as Shinichi with Heiji point to the fact that no, he just really likes deducting with Heiji. Eagerness, big smiles—in "The Scarlet School Trip" (Episodes 927-928), involving Heiji in the case of the day takes precedence over solving it himself, as he immediately shares what he knows and even jostles Heiji awake when he learns more, before doing anything else, because there's no way he's going to solve it alone. He doesn't want to.

But as things are, being Shinichi is pain. He takes an antidote, but it's poison. Being Conan is what's become "normal" and "comfortable," but Conan can't be what Shinichi is to Heiji. Conan isn't strong enough to catch Heiji when he's falling. Conan can't save him from bullets. Conan can't even talk to him naturally without hiding and secrets. His dreams have become nightmares.

And it can't be easy for Heiji, either. To see someone you care about suffering. To know that Shinichi is in a dangerous situation—and involving himself in it applies that same danger to himself. It'd make sense for Heiji to walk away and wash his hands of it... but Shinichi really wants him to stay. Despite everything, he wants Heiji to stay. For that someday when they can be true partners "on the other side."

I tried to say other things in here, too. Shinichi cementing himself as a precious person to Heiji by countering his insecurities with a one truth prevails and this isn't a competition and you don't have to prove yourself to me. Heiji finding Shinichi even after becoming Conan because he'll always find Shinichi, no matter what, because he's dreaming of being "on the other side," too (even if he didn't know it initially). Shinichi pushing Heiji away with coldness because maybe it's selfish to want him to stay, maybe it's cruelty to involve him, but he can't deny that he cares, that he wants Heiji with him, that he doesn't want to do this on his own.

And while I maybe still went a little ham on the effects, I do hope my ideas are the strongest of all! "No effects" versus effects comparison can be found here!

Thank you again for all your hard work organizing this event, Cali!!