#Disecting

[poltergeist-pixels]

[em-iliart]

everything eats and is eaten

[demigods-posts]

just now connected that all of camp half-blood watched percy turn down immortality for annabeth. in front of the twelve olympians. mind you. no wonder they were waiting in the wings for them. they knew the kiss was only an hour away lol

[runwhileyoucan]

This image came to me in a vision by the way.

[saltymarshmall0w]

Danny was a half-a.

Until tragedy struck. He could tell, the moment he died. He didn't even pass out, it was just like a string cutting and all of a sudden he knew it was over.

But the battle wasn't over, and Danny could keep fighting, so he did.

With the bad guy defeated he regrouped with his friends and family. They cheered and celebrated, retelling that moment he seemed to suddenly gain a second wind to defeat the baddie, all while Danny didn't have the heart to tell the truth.

Being dead wasn't all that bad.

He just couldn't tell anyone.

Everyone knew he was the protector of the earth. The human boy turned superhero thanks to his ghost abilities that everyone secretly envied.

He just had to convince Spectra to teach him how to imitate his human form, which worked---so long as he didn't pass out or lose focus.

He had to be careful no one got close enough to see his real eye color shining through his contacts or notice that he no longer breathed unless done so manually.

His obsessions constantly buzzed in the back of his mind. If he wasn't indulging in one, he was thinking and planning the next time he could. He lost time staring at the stars and couldn't help but constantly check for unseen threats around his friends.

Sometimes, he forgot his name was Danny. Keeping two feet on the ground was hard. He no longer could digest human food and using his powers became second nature.

[fanged-unicorn]

inspiration #230: hine mizushima

[fuckit-a-rosekiller-blog]

I refuse to believe Evan isnt absolutely fucking obsessed with bugs.

[jeena-says-hi]

Nobody;

Diagrams in zoology lectures:

[lovingmayday]

blue lock chapter 300

reading blue lock was a mistake 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[ishestillapunk]

Everybody Wants A Piece Of Pedro Pascal

tags: grief, death.

a/n: it was so hard to write all this and not kick my sheets because of the whole photoshoot. he's beautiful.

I don't usually do this, well, I never done this, but today and after waking up to such a brilliant, raw and profound interview I see myself in the need of disecting piece by piece of this interview and the parts that touched a deep fiber in me.

You, of course, don't have to read this. I mean, not if you don't want to. I would say this is more mine than other thing, like, a precious stone I want to keep memory of how I felt when this article came out.

Don't you ever get that feeling that something is yours? like, not in a delulu and possesive way, but in a sort of thank you-way.

This interview—article, post. Damn, I don't know how to call it, forgive my scarce vocabulary in English—appeared like water in the desert for me. I had a long night of insomnia, very long, used to deal with it, and also with it came the lovely question that every 20 yo makes themselves at one point.

What the fuck am I doing with my damn life.

My phone buzzes when I finally decide to let go of it so I grab it again, and there it is. Our beloved pascalispunk. Oh, he looks hella good. I say looking at the pictures. Oh, it's Vanity Fair. I say and then, I think: Of course there is an interview. So I look up for it.

I read and then the first thing that moves my chest is:

Over lunch in London, Pascal is a grand raconteur who tells stories with his hands and uses funny voices and loves to swear and drink cocktails and murder a cheese plate. He doesn’t take himself too seriously. At the same time, he’ll press right up against the sad and raw and confusing parts of being alive. His insides are on his outsides. He cries easily. He laughs loudly.

Maybe it's the writing, maybe it's me that lately I've been overly sensitive. It must've been the wind. I joke in my head when I feel like I want to cry. Something I love deeply about this man that is Pedro, is that he never stops being human. You get me, right? Like, with some celebrities I get the kinda... fake feeling. Don't wanna sound rude towards others at all, but, he just gives me that genuine and true feeling. That's what I mean by human.

Personally, I never been a fan of an actor before. A celebrity, in general. It just used to ick me, like, why would I do that? I had nothing against it, it just wasn't part of my persona. But then, I remember the first time coming across a video of him. I guess, yeah. Maybe we all want a piece of Pedro.

Pascal tells me about his “give up” years, when he was a struggling actor in New York decimated by the sudden death of his beloved mother, Verónica.

I felt connected truly with Pedro when I learnt about his life. The struggle and loss. That feeling that nothing is going anywhere, you know? Like. Damn, what is it all this for? I kinda feel like humans (or some of us, dk, mind you) have to search comparisions to other people to feel okay on where they are at the moment and its something that lately has been happening to me. My search is literally:

'Directors that got succesful at an old age'

'How to publish my first book while being fucking poor'

'How do I live'

Is this non-stopping loop where everything mixes with everything and I feel too exhausted to leave my bed. Ends won't meet. Food lacks in the fridge. Mama is sad. But he has been in the same spot, and he's here to tell it.

Life hurts a bit less.

“In my 30s I was supposed to have a career,” he says. “Past 29 without a career meant that it was over, definitely.” Feeling hopeless, Pascal started researching other professions. But whenever he came close to bailing on his dream, friends and family would step in. “When Pedro would say, ‘I’m going to nursing school’ or ‘I’m going to be a theater teacher,’ it was just like ‘No, no, no, no! You’re too good!’” says his older sister, Javiera Balmaceda, now a producer at Amazon Studios. “He’s wanted to be an actor since he was four years old. The one thing we’d never allow Pedro to do was give up.”

And here it is. The first tears I shed.

I dropped out of college after a month in a course of studies that I thought it was perfect for me. Turns out, I felt like I was dying because there was no art in it and I was fucking dying. It was driving me apart of my soul, I would cry on my way to class, I would have no very very happy thoughts about life. Then, a crisis. Me hugging my mom's knees and telling her "Mama, I need art" and she sees me, the girl who only went to arts school for her whole teen years and grew up attached to her desk computer, pirated movies in the night and writing down stories that keep her awake.

And she told me. "It's okay. We'll figure it out"

I was embarrased to tell my friends what I did after that crisis. God, you went through a freaking exam, burnt your lashes studying, passed it and now you're saying you want to do cinema?

Well. Nobody said that.

What I mostly received was.

"That's awesome. You were about to waste your potential"

And something that sticks with me that a friend said.

"The world deserves to see something created by you".

If you're reading this, I want you and oblige you to take it as a signal.

 A New Yorker cartoon featured a therapist reassuring his client, “It’s not strange at all—lately, a lot of people are reporting that their faith in humanity is riding entirely on whether or not Pedro Pascal is as nice as he seems.” “Well, then,” Ramsey tells me, “I’m relieved for humanity.”

Bella. I love you, Bella.

On days when she (Veronica) didn’t have a babysitter, she’d drop him off at the movie theater. He remembers being seven and in heaven, able to squeeze in two and a half showings of Poltergeist before his mom returned for him. At home he’d reenact scenes of being sucked into the closet or slide across the kitchen floor. Balmaceda tells me, “When our parents got cable, the HBO song would come on and Pedro would run around the house yelling, ‘A movie is coming! A movie is coming!’” [...]He sat at a distance from his family as usual, preferring to be close to the screen. But then he started crying so loudly when Whoopi Goldberg’s Celie was being separated from her sister that his mother had to collect him and help him catch his breath outside. 

When he talks about his childhood memories, I become honey. It gives me the assertive feeling that he is the kind of person that talks and talks and talks, and tells and tells stories and never run off them, and never gets boring, and they are always sweet (or bittersweet but sweet in the end)

He makes me think about my childhood with another lens to look through. Less remorse. More a kind of let-go-of-it.

Drugs were everywhere. Pascal remembers being 16 and taking acid and calling his mother to check in and let her know he was going to spend the night out. “And she sighs and goes, ‘Oh.’ And that was not normal. And I was like ‘Wh-why?’ and she said, ‘Oh, no, I was just hoping that we would all go to a movie.’ I was just so drawn to that kind of maternal attention, so I said, ‘I’m coming!’” He rushed home and sat mute and paralyzed, tripping in the back seat as they drove to see John Sayles’s City of Hope.

yes, more tears over here.

“I was having a really hard time when I was 18, 19, 20,” Pascal tells me. “I was struggling really badly with insomnia. I was reading James Baldwin and watching movies like Once Were Warriors and Muriel’s Wedding. I just was like an open wound to the reality of life.” He pauses to smack the table with his hand, groaning and laughing at himself. “It sounds so fucking pretentious, but I felt at this crossroads of coming into an understanding of what an unjust world we live in. This world, and its lack of equanimity, is just too painful to bear. How do you live in it?”

This is the moment where I had to stop reading. I was literally a cascade at this point. I felt like that song Killing me softly with his song by The Fugees and the part that goes:

I felt he found my letters

Then read each one out loud

I prayed that he would finish

But he just kept right on

I felt like he just grabbed all my diaries, my letters, my notes on my laptop. Everything. And just read them out loud.

And I felt less lonely for a moment, less detached from reality. More grounded to this moment that is, maybe, a wake up call.

That there is still time.

His grief had no place in Los Angeles, with its isolating highways and traffic and sprawl. So he went home to New York City, where he’d made some headway as an actor after college, only to find that his early luck had run out. He lived in a seventh-floor apartment of an East Village walk-up. Every night he’d have a cigarette on his fire escape and watch the moon rise between the Twin Towers.

Suicide grief is something I've never had the opportunity—well, more like favour of spilling my guts out for once—to talk with anyone. I went through it alone, mostly. I always think that there is no place as lonely as oneselves head (is oneselve's a word? am I dealing already with the precious side effects of twenty years of insomnia?). Reading Pedro talking about grief is ligthening.

I use to make myself a question, every now and then:

'When does it stop?'

Maybe never. And it's okay.

"Listen, I want to protect the people I love. But it goes beyond that. Bullies make me fucking sick.”

Just wanted to highlight this. Everyone should have this kind of values.

In the car, Pascal gasps and points out the window. “Look at that cemetery, isn’t it gorgeous?” he says. He doesn’t want to be buried—just throw him in the ocean. “Fish food, fish food, fish food,” he says. “And yet, I find sometimes cemeteries are so beautiful.” So, yes, now we’re back to talking about death.

In the car to Downey’s house, Pascal points at the word “FAITH,” which someone has spray-painted on a wall. He scrunches up his face in mock disgust. He’s agnostic, practically an atheist—and yet. “I still feel like I’m being mothered sometimes. I feel her witness all around me. I don’t feel like any of this right now would be happening if it weren’t for her.” There was something magical about María Verónica Pascal Ureta. Her firstborn son misses everything about her. Her beauty. Her smell. How funny she was, and how funny she found farts. “She couldn’t get past a fart of any kind without it absolutely destabilizing her into hysterics,” says Pascal. “She thought they were the most brilliant, hilarious, wonderful thing in the world.” She was also “very deep-feeling, very complex, very, very out of reach in a way,” he adds.

I tell you that I did nothing more than laugh and cry with all this part. Is that kind of make peace with death vibe that he sometimes gives me and I just take as a life advice.

I can't get mad at something that is long gone.

That I don't know the answers to.

That is as invisible as the air, and painful as a healed fracture.

And that I have to live, for those who aren't here anymore.

So... I will finish with this:

Of all the performances in Pascal’s now formidable career, Balmaceda singles out the monologue she saw him deliver as a sophomore in high school. It was a piece Pascal had written about a bike path near their house in Corona del Mar, a neighborhood he couldn’t wait to escape. Onstage, he described how, at first, he’d cross this narrow path that went over a bridge on foot, then progressed to riding over it gingerly on his bike, then with just one hand on his handlebars, and then, finally, being able to cross over with his hands in the air.

I can't wait to escape this place. A home that keeps me warm but silences me. Hugs that don't feel comfortable or familiar anymore. A room that is too little for the dreams that move this soul. A roof that isn't strong enough to hold me from touching what it's-maybe-waiting for me.

Somewhere.

Kudos to Karen Valby for such a great article.

if someone read this whole thing, uhm, thank you!

keep loving Peps. 💜

[allramnostorage]

once again emphasizing that the way mulder and scully flirt should be studied by science. they're not even dating and yet they're asking each other about their family medical history immediately followed by mulder saying he's starting to see how scully would be a good mother. like excuse me?!!???

[screamlikeabanshee]

Another thing that gets overlooked about the Donavan thing is that while yes, it was self-defense, it was not nothing to Stiles. He actively did not defend himself to Scott because part of him thought he deserved it, that he was a murderer. Once everyone knew the facts, it was Stiles who was most upset by what he did. Scott easily dismisses it as self-defense and so do Malia and his dad (with the latter two also being accepting if it was more akin to murder.) Theo is using it as part of his goal of corrupting stiles, he desperately wants him on his side, but as scott said at his lowest when he thinks he has been betrayed by all his friends, Stiles would never fall to Theo's level. But none the less Stiles is haunted by this for the rest of the season. It is something that taps back into his insecurities about remembering how good it felt to kill as the nogitsune. He wanted donavan dead. He didn't murder him, but he didn't know that he wouldn't have. What hurt him the most was not Theo lying and Scott believing. It is the fear that Theo was telling the truth.

[spicyvampire]

Yak and Dee being there for each other

WANDEE GOODDAY (2024) EP. 9

[bibibbon]

TBHX and the disposability of man pt 4

Part 1 Nice's arc

Part 2 E-soul's arc

Part 3 Lucky Cyan's arc

(The irony of my title has just begun to dawn on me)

While I do wish the 2 episodes did give us more focus on Queen herself I do find the dynamic between Queen and Bowa to be really interesting and a major part to the 'disposability' theme that the show presents.

Bowa and Queen are two capable heroes who have achieved fantastic goals within their own right. However, society and those around them, such as Micky, keep pairing and diminishing their achievements. Bowa becoming X is seen as something that only happend because of Queen's speech and Queen getting the chance to take the X title is seen as Bowa giving it to her by the public and Micky planning exactly that for Bowa to give up the title to Queen.

Micky has made it clear that he simply views his employees as decorated chess pieces that play the game he tells them to play and this is exactly that. Yes Bowa fought for the spotlight and she earned the title of X fairly but the world isn't fair and she is going to be replaced forcibly by someone whose younger than her (interesting connotations)

While this interpretation may seem somewhat farfetched. There can be something to be said about the hero industry and the similarities it shares with the fashion industry. Heroes have to always keep in shape, be on top, be perfect, be young, and get replaced when they're old or when they lose. This isn't something new that TBHX hints at in Queen's arc but we get mentions of this in Nice's arc through lin ling's of own words " You're not going to be perfect forever as soon as you get old and ugly they'll find a new you."

Bowa and Queen two overachievers. Bowa is the youngest Commission agent, while Queen is the youngest and smartest university graduate. Queen and Bowa both have their own speeches and interviews being deemed as career aspiring and perfect. Both of them actively hold the belief to believe in yourself and to work hard to achieve your goals. Bowa the women that came from nothing. No power, no connections, just strength, stubbornness, and pure determination, getting her through what she deems necessary to achieve her goals. On the other hand, Queen a hero born to a father with connections, a power to make rules and an incredibly naturally talented individual yet she also worked hard to achieve her goals just to be beaten in a blink by a "nobody".

Even with all the similarities that Bowa and Queen share, they are pitted against one another for an absolutely unsignificant reason : the title of X. A title and role that neither get but the public officially views and actively pushes the narrative that Queen has replaced Bowa driving Bowa to insanity for a way for her to get back and reach for the role that was once rightfully hers. In this context, the title they are now fighting for isn't truly the title of X, but it is the title of the female hero. Who can be the female hero, the spot that society wants filled and only wants one person to be THE female hero, the one who can have it all in an industry that lacks diversity.

This ultimately causes a huge conflict between Bowa and Queen. Bowa who wants to cling and hold the title naturally for as along as she can considering the fact that she spent her whole life trying to achieve the perfect mix of perfection by being 50/50 power and beauty. Due to this, Bowa easily consumes the narrative that society and the industry itself have been spewing out and plans to eliminate the next threat even though at this point in time Queen doesn't have the title of X (but a man does) and Queen is only in the top 10. Public perception and view alongside Bowa's own research send her into her own downward spiral, leading her to the only solution she deems viable : kill your 'replacement.'

Bowa and Yang cheng parallels, I see!

Alongside all of this, Bowa's abilities have constantly been undermined by Micky, who literally tells her that the only reason she is a hero is because he chose her and he invested in her and now its time for him to invest into someone else : Queen.

Essentially, the people have been waiting to see someone else ever since Bowa managed to become the number one hero, and when the queen doesn't live up to that expectation, they immediately find a way to continue the cycle by trying to pit cyan and Queen against one another with the only reason a fight like that not occurring is due to Queen actively taking actions for Cyan to clear her name and for her to personally support cyan instead. Even their own public relation cyan and Queen aren't afraid to show that they are close.

While Queen and Bowa's relationship focuses on dispoabaility through the lens of who can be THE female hero, it also focuses on the idea of disposbaility through nepotism.

While the public isn't aware of it, Bowa becomes aware that Queen has connections, and she has abilities that Bowa lacks and that's one of the reasons why she gets all the support to become X while Bowa has to fight and gain connections herself. This is one of the things that drives Bowa to try to kill Queen, to fully eliminate the threat that Queen poses through her connections because at the end of the day, Bowa is a self built chess piece while Queen was given the chess board in the first place.

Within an already such a competitive industry, nepotism is actively looked down upon due to the unfair advantages it gives individuals and the reputation it has for robbing those more competent of the role they deserve and this is an aspect of Queen and Bowa's story.

[directorlyric]

I crush da ALIEN

[hegodamask]

lol he's not happy about the release schedule either