#FOR LEGAL REASONS THIS IS SATIRE

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

My SICK and TWISTED mind sees Astarion and goes "what if his dark circles were darker? What if he had claws? What if his eyes glow? What if he was even more clearly vampiric? His skin even more pale? His fangs more pointy?"

None of you would survive a day with my brain. I think evil thoughts like this all the time. I'm messed up.

[cuntholicism]

throwback to when i met dnp a few months ago <3 i felt so happy that i'd finally be able to tell them how fun i thought their new era was! i can vividly remember their reaction after my rambling being a very loud "oh so we're having fun now?" in unison, followed by phil slapping my phone out of my hands and swiping my legs from under me, ending our interaction with a forty minute long session of the both of them taking turns slamming my head onto the pavement. a core memory moment, for sure! <3

[mistermalaprop]

do you ever feel

like a plastic toy

sitting on a shelf

watching your owner cry

[afterartist]

Tfw the 5 minute sketch is better than the 5 hr drawing 😮‍💨🤭🤭

I mean

Can you believe the original artist had the gal to post such shitty art?? Lmao!!

Dw tho, I hashtag fixed ur art for them <3<3

Get better art before you decide to draw crap next time idiot 😝��

[sarasometimes]

I think you should legally be allowed to kill Athena.

hard agree :)

[jaidenmaybe]

I'm gonna pull out a comically large hammer from behind my back (so large it would not realistically fit behind there), which I will hit ceo of tumblr, photomatt, over his head with, which will cause him to form tall, cartoon-ish bumps on top of his head. I will then proceed to let go off a rope, which will quickly swivel around and dissapear off the top of the screen, the camera will then proceed to pan back to photomatt before a giant safe falls from the sky, right before it falls on him, his eyes bulge out of his head and become huge as he stares up at the safe with fear. The giant safe crushes him and forms a small crater where it landed with smoke coming from around it, he opens the safe door, he is revealed to be inside the safe, covered in ash, stumbling around as if dizzy with spiral eyes and stars and birds circling around his head.

[I am forcibly removed from tumblr for threats of violence]

[nekomimithoughts]

I am upset that when I ask for pets and scritchies on here I am rarely sent some. Only my trusted catgirl mutual offers, since she knows how terrible the withdrawal feels for a catgirl.

Where are the pettings and treats and scritchies in my inbox? Why do you all want a catgirl to suffer and be starved of affection? Why are my followers so cruel? I show you my fluffy tail, and no pets? I am upset. Grouchy, even.

[quietwingsinthesky]

kinda problematic to like castiel tbh. it’s like saying you wish all gay people would die instead of find love. homophobic much?

[robottko]

Politicians just aren’t afraid of assassinations like they used to be.

[phannie-elvis]

Phwoah dads, who’s morticia gonna kill today?

[drowningparty]

valid & based. I have severe chronic pain & I'd probably kill a guy who tried to cut off access to my pain meds / nerve blockers. don't fuck with people who have extreme pain or terminal illnesses and nothing to lose, there's a level of physical pain where you start tripping your brain cannot cope with the level of pain you're in anymore and we aren't logical when we're in that state you cannot reason with us.

[lewishamiltonstuff]

James aeiou💀💀

I just write James and my keyboard suggests AEIOU itself. I'm not lying 😭 look:

[aria-greenhoodie]

Happy July 13th

[hyumjim]

It’s crazy how people continue to blame Chappell Roan for Kamala attempting to win an election based purely on vibes without a single concession to anything that the overwhelming majority of democratic voters actually wanted to see. That woman could have gotten every celebrity imaginable to endorse her and she still would have lost because she had agreed to never say a single thing against her extremely unpopular former running mate and her campaign was cobbled together at the last minute from popsicle sticks and toothpicks. She never gave anything but the barest hint of lip service toward trans people and did not make a single promise to protect us. But yes let’s blame celebrities who have no business being involved in politics either way

[cherryribbcns]

when in doubt, always blame a man

[callmeend]

My friends want me to kill myself