#HOW COULD MY PESSIMISM COMPETE WITH THAT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

randomclam24 · 2 years ago

Text

8/29 night Taking the article with the title claiming that complex infrastructure won't survive the competency crisis into account, which calls into consideration that high-precision white people are generally what keeps the most complex machinery online in the first place, which is a very high-maintenance thing - How do I say this? Japan even has narratives like Midna at the end of the game saying, if there were a lot more people like you, the world wouldn't have these problems - something to that overall effect - but that doesn't make Japan a non-racist country. It takes high maintenance. And I'm one to believe in the potential of artificial intelligence taking over for that purpose. It still takes a minority at the very least of incredibly high-maintenance to keep these machines in peak condition.

For this first time, I've seen a reply saying that the belief in A.I. taking over every responsibility will ultimately just absolve currency of its inherent value, meaning that the elite can just reassign the values required for basic things like bread as they will it. But, that's the first time I've ever heard of that. It is what it is.

Update So yeah, persecutest thou as much as thou will the article that complex infrastructure won't survive the competency crisis, there's a cheeky opportunity for a reference to the Statue of Liberty's poem right now, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Update I wish we had something better to talk about. Is that too racist? Heh heh heh heh heh

Frankly, a lot of anons are already banking on the collapse of the economy.

Update Yeah, my younger cousin's in the tech field, but the best I've personally seen of him is a weird Python game program, so I'm not particularly impressed, yet

I don't know what I want to pursue out of my own life

Update A lot of this gameplay is goofy bullshit - if anyone takes the quip about Cuphead seriously, they're a dumbass - unless of course you catch my drift - then that's different

I'm feeling like this is bullshit within bullshit

Update It's not like I can't go at this kind of thing, per se. It's just that I figured virtually 100% of people can't do this kind of thing, so that would make doing so "antisocial".

Update I wish I could get *half* mean enough for Cuphead in all seriousness

I beat all the bosses of Kirby, minus some of the boss rushes - I'm not even able to lick the bootstraps of some of these Cuphead bosses

Update Okay, so I don't have much purpose in my life.

Update I'm giving up on getting drunk in the way that normal people experience. By the time I'm even approaching that, I feel like either just craving actual food or just throwing the stuff up. Basically, it's impossible without it getting to the point of being like food poisoning with me.

8/29 After writing out the parts I was searching for for the purpose of understanding better his core philosophy, I don't think The Portable Nietzsche is actually definitive at all. But for an introduction at a glance, it wasn't bad. We're going to have to find these texts online.

Update Okay, so in reviewing the two actual full texts at a glance, we're going to do A Genealogy of Morals. in Beyond Good and Evil is a focus on the utter falling-throughs of his times and reflects that pessimism that I've been told about him. It focuses on what *not* to do, which I suppose is less of what his core beliefs actually are.

Update Okay. It's been a lot of going back and forth, but here we have Essay 3:

"11 Only now, after having gained sight of the ascetic priest, we attack seriously our problem: what does the ascetic ideal mean?--Only now matters are growing "earnest.""

Good so we're getting somewhere

This is page 159 in-book

8/30 I wrote out the rest of that essay, which led me to another split between The Joyful Science and The Will to Power. We're not there yet, but that was a solid introduction.

Don't stop

Update Well, after short review, I've concluded that the new dawn seen by Nietzsche over the "death of God" as it might concern what he has called the ascetic priest is altogether a misconception. First of all, as I've already noted, there's no historical account of miracles like in the post-Gospels New Testament that is regarded seriously in the modern day, which is what that kind of lifestyle was largely contingent upon, leaving the only moral foundation viable left the exact described castrated mindfulness of the herd.

But let's be realistic as to the actual social forces at play in the modern day: either way, you're getting at some form of globohomo in and of itself, because the Christian lifestyle of sharing resources clearly amounts to Communism, and the death of God is clearly a nu-atheist sentiment exclusively.

What he calls the ascetic priest as an attempt to cast his own narrative about it going away finally could just as quickly be dismissed with the obvious of repeating that one article about how the deep state implicated by Trump is alive and well and how it's just a - something really stinky about it being relatable and how we need to give credence to it, but not like that, because it intended for something very stinky and - jewish

Update There's still nothing to do even though it's morning by now

Oh well, life is just a hopeless meaningless void, let's go kill ourselves

Update after sleeping Just like "ironic shitposting is still shitposting", even if its conveyed through irony in memes, being of the ascetic ideal is being of the ascetic ideal. I'm pretty sure no one knows what that means. But I don't think there's a person on this earth who isn't of the ascetic ideal. That's how I know there's no hope. There's no future.

At the end of the day, people taking it in the ass in life is just icing on the shit cake. That's why trannies for example will always and perpetually be "coming correct" in fact, when they say the right wing is "obsessed" with them: the ascetic ideal which is what is truly represented in the propaganda supporting them at the highest echelons of all of our societies parasitically is undisputed, to the degree of sheer absurdity. You're not even *looking* (something something liberal exasperation - I don't care.)

So correction: the ascetic ideal of "the Nothing" is all we culminate to as *mankind.* *Thus* is our continued pining that the deep state is to be cast out unnatural as obsession

This is the reason even 4channers trying to shitpost ironically with doge memes and the like can't even break out of the mindset that, to fix the world as it is, you would have to end up with absolutely no one left on the planet, because unconsciously, we have it absolutely established even without knowing it that there is truly "no separation between jew and Gentile" but merely more members of the ascetic ideal which culminates in the anal worship of "the Nothing". So, in that are we expected to give the "little guy" who's just trying to get by following orders from his higher-ups a little bit more of *respect* in that their ideology of herd-collectivism is, for better or for worse, the predominantly prevailing social order of human consciousness in itself. Even so, that comes off like "kiss the ring".

Update I can't deal. So, to the effect expressed by the cuckold who said it, "don't talk to me or my wife's son ever again"

Update I've been reclusive for several months because all these retards taking it collectively in the ass have long concluded based on my example that anyone who wants to fight the government is a (something I don't know or care about it) retard, making any further assertion of this mess a pure act of chutzpah that subsides as soon as it's passed. (That's not true and you take it up the ass every day - every single one of these people calling me a retard as in I'm fucking up the game has been the obvious retard the entire time, and nothing has stepped forward to even give an exception to that)

I have to go so far out of my way to even detect what wavelength you're even on making statements and memetics like that, it's like having to drive out into the middle of bumfuck nowhere every single fucking time. I want to die.

Update When my detractors that I used to frequent reach the point that they feel like they've convinced themselves so that there's nothing left to be said, what am I supposed to do when it gets beyond the extremity that I can't impose on that consensus anymore without it being such an extreme that they feel the need to impose the government on me? Because all the kinds of detraction that I take personally also happen to get along swimmingly with the new-world government. I'm then just supposed to go in there and set off all their alarms that I'm their enemy in a mortalistic sense.

So with all that out of my system, I can say I'm generally more easygoing than all them. But I know from hard experience that it's never a good thing to walk on eggshells with them, because things like that get set off.

Update I beat Rage on the highest difficulty today. My review overall is that both aesthetically and thematically, it feels like an introduction to the new Doom and Doom Eternal. Good gameplay, but frankly the ending, once you figure out the damage required to beat the new enemies introduced at the last second, all they're doing is spamming more of them, and there's no real final boss at all, and they kind of pamper you with new ammo leading in to that final mission.

Also, of course, there's some personal level to my liking this game rather than wanting to play Doom Eternal first. From renting - actually renting Doom 2016 from a video store before it closed shop - the way the new demons set the tone for the new games, it just seemed unrelatable the way everyone's jumping around like a complete retard. Rage actually seemed to have a premise (at least looming off in the distance - which resolves with the conclusion of the game itself with no further actual story) - and then the new Doom story-wise seems like what it looks like - chaos for its own sake - but I haven't played it yet

I haven't even heard the good things about Doom Eternal per se - I've heard people say they've heard good things about Doom Eternal. Actually, that summarizes the kind of review that I see of modern games anymore.

Update The gripes I thought were minor actually constitute an unironic rant: Halo gameplay, especially past Normal difficulty, where it stands out

In Project Brutality, they have ammo that starts to feel like Halo and kind of reminds me of it: it is called low-caliber rounds. What a thing to limit oneself to against your greatest enemy, the Covenant.

Also, there was a Mythbusters special where someone militarily-involved actually demonstrated that the concept of running at the same speed with like eight different weapons as in Doom 3 was actually realistic. Then what is Halo doing - you get two weapons. Right, and not only that, this is according to someone who already has to wear unrealistically-heavy power armor everywhere he goes, Master Chief. So you saying there's no weight to spare -

Update (Paraphrasing out my ass) "You know how much this gear costs, son?" "Tell that to the Covenant" Yeah

Update And, just making some attempt to mediate with that argument before the one about Doom and Halo - first of all, if it takes that long to figure out what wavelength you're on, figuratively speaking, to even know what you're trying to say, that inherently means it's not self-evident. So then on the other hand, I might not have the best valuation of the lowest common denominator in mind regardless, having my own idealism in mind with my endeavors.

So then after that comes the crux of it from their side: the lowest common denominator are (obviously) the more common! So am I obligated to be directed toward that?

Update So because of that split between focus on idealism and the lowest common denominator among the right-wing, I may react to you thinking your gay point is self-evident with a cutoff of "no"

Update Doom ammo v. Halo ammo: Literally self-cameo of the director of Pulp Fiction: "Bonnie goes out shopping, she buys *shit*"

I'm considering whether to keep that. It's stinky.

Update First and foremost, I'm going to have to atone for my sins orated against boomers The people who systemically said, I'm enjoying my wine and dinner; I don't care what happens to the untold generations after I'm dead

Realistically, a boomer forms a hot take: I'm bracing for impact. Compromise isn't about to happen there. They are ignorant. They are ignorant.

Update In grade school, we literally had a story - I don't think the racial element was intended to be a consciously-acknowledged part of the storytelling - but the narrative was about a black family in bad conditions where the man of the house thought they would start a small organization with other individuals and improve the quality of life in some way, and the ending consists of the others up and running off with the money. You expect us to be like early Christians with black people? Especially if they're inner-city blacks, just don't trust them.

Update So if it was deracialized, what does it mean? It would be that message even in rap, "trust no one", intended even for all white people. In this environment? I can't say otherwise.

Update If I catch sight of my youthful ambition again while drunk, in that moment, it's like nothing wouldn't be worth grasping it again, even in a dark sense - and that is despite the fact that most people wouldn't have taken it for what it is seriously in the first place, the same from then until now - a question of if it's the right day and age for it or not?

In a sense, frankly, I hate the artistic direction itself of "minimalism", but I had a lot of the inspiration of "cubism" as a basic structuring. Cubism even in a simple game engine could still include the rugged texture, provided the modern day's upscaling, of Doom's marble surfaces.

"God forever geometrizes" - does minimalism appeal to that or not?

I'm positive there's a realistic middle ground workable between the perspective of, we should have room to be more pretentious, and the - frankly overstated, you're "fucking up the game game game"

Because at core, I *know* there's an inspiration in my ambition where it has hit me like a ton of bricks undeniably in the past

Consider the episode of some cartoon which became a meme where a woman is saying, paraphrasing, "edgy" is where a set of corporate executives make calculated moves to appeal to their set audience - if you're "minimalistic" in the most commonly-recognized use of the phrase, it's probably more like that than what would be in taste.

My boomer dad - my boomer dad plays (all the damned time) Watch Dogs 2 on PS4, which starts with a mission with that very style of music, and, thinking about it, what does that amount to My dad still spends a lot of his time re-exploring that game to the exact same effect, just taking pictures of semi-realistic monuments

Update Okay, okay - it feels like breaking the fourth wall, but, in the time Denzel Curry made "The Game", I also made the quip that I have one job in that instance: don't come off as a narcissist. So is that distinct from screaming "that you game game game" or not?

For quick-reference, *definitely* don't want to be a narcissist. There's no value in that.

Like, I would love to be regarded as a pioneer when it comes to ideas - there's that

I referenced Death Grips - Niggas on the Moon, and there's probably justification behind the fact that Death Grips hasn't released anything in the past few years. Hey

Update I've heard recently that the age when individual men would have duels to sort out conflicts was a more unsure age, because of the lethality of the things. Honestly - if duels were non-lethal

There are things that I would love disputing that I would *never* lie my life down on the line for - at best, today's conflicts would be considered "proxy battles" - and guess why that is? Because people generally are ignorant - no getting around that

Update Drunken rants for those which I deem to be so stupid I consider us on a level playing field regardless of the fact: Halo's energy weapons: I wish your shooting devices wouldn't give out after every four seconds of initially using them, as would think anyone in their remotest right mind. "Halo: MyFirst FPS": Encyclopedia Dramatica

Update Nietzschean philosophy: boy, I wish globohomo jews would direct their will toward themselves, as opposed to through and superceding the will of the lesser-willed Gentiles against themselves Realiity: "No good" *timeline severed*

Update Fighting these "Hunters" in Halo on PC is ridiculously easier than on console

Let me tell you how much I love bureaucrats, and those supportive of that mindset, as of 2023

"niggers"

Update for sure Halo, with its bureaucratically-delegated rations of low-capacity ammo, so that artificial difficulty would rule the day on its respective platform for who knows what reason ever - you could say, how does that then compete with Siren? Well...I guess no one ever went there.

Update So then, dare I ask, what is "charm" as we call it held between Siren the series even outside of American release and Halo as an American "you can Ghillie-Suit your way through anything you want if you ambition hard enough" type of mentality?

Update If it's all forfeit for what it was anyway, /pol/ is replaced with whatever races - who knows why - where the rest went off to Telegram or wherever else, despite none of those sites constituting remotely the social media web site that the original board was. I guess I commonly represent Encyclopedia Dramatica's vision - so if I add my own narrative - to make up for every pre-prejudice of society even in spite of social justice, since, in the first place, social justice is just yet another product of what has been coined as Nietzsche's ascetic idealism.

Update So as for those medical pamphlets that were documented online, saying that, our - I even forgot the word - - see, I can't even remember the word! Meritocracy. Those pamphlets were claiming that that word being used as an appeal was some kind of last stand of white identity, or something along those racist lines - but, at the same time, before I ever heard of that, I always considered that that would always serve as a last potential middle ground between these issues. Since nobody will listen to anything else. So then I guess if that's really past, although it may have just been forced, what would be grounds beyond that? I don't think anything else would constitute a fair contest. (Of course that just highlights the inherent lack of legitimate comparison in our Western cultural divide)

I wish I could ever enter "Zen state" as it's been applied to people playing video games seriously sometimes, mainly back when they were talking about arcade games, which were much harder

Update Because there is enough rallying toward the idea of feeding the entire world and ending world hunger, wasn't there already the debacle of Bill Gates testing his own system for Africa to turn even faeces into drinkable healthy water? Why hasn't everything been solved even remotely? Why couldn't that excess money to Ukraine etc. have been donated to Africa, especially for one-time investments such as these to make the effect permanent? I don't know, and neither do - *how* close to 100% of the government's lackeys?

And in times when Common Filth re-quotes things like Shakespeare's "all the world's a stage", I wish he could manage to speak with a bit more authority. That's no insult. But there are people acting like I need to take my meds even though I already explained it was primarily just for anxiety and literally nothing else.

We don't have a good system.

Update So, to be very open about these things, they're coming out with such things as the rejection of meritocracy not very openly, but with their feelers, per se, to see if it's okay or not so that they can get away with it.

Update "A Revaluation of the Adage "Nigga" - by Friedrich Nietzsche"

I don't think he would have ever addressed black people in depth, because he was already spending his time critiquing everything wrong with European people, holding from the standpoint of all their highest philosophers and artists. Truly Hitler's philosopher.

Update If I could ramble without it getting on most people's nerves - that would be convenient for me In Five Nights at Fuckboy's, there's a line if you view a bottle of some kind of booze on the floor in the main lobby by Freddy Fazbear - "get crunk" - but actually thinking of that as the lore for Chuck E' Cheese's animatronic mascots

(and other such one-liners)

Update Rappers Nietzsche, since I read as close to his core philosophy as I could manage just recently, said personally he wishes still to see the positive aspects of the English philosophers of his time, even despite knowing in advance they all gravitate unnaturally toward the same exact ideas unoriginally. So with rappers, in a sense you already know what they mean in the "cultural sense" is that basest thing from the back of your unconscious about the thing. We (clearly) don't live in a perfect world.

What is ontology? Obviously we don't know minorities in the same sense as deep=state jews

And no one is tested in real life in any way like we've come to know, over this generation, the nature of tests of skill implicitly given in videogames

I might still have to agree with the now-non-active meme, "extra mild [sauce] for white people"

Update If I'm going to be "pretentious", I'm going to make a bigger playlist than I did on imgur

I download these on ytmp3hub.com now to get them at whatever compressed quality you can get at its highest proclaimed quality of 320kbps

4.Warbled (Level - Slipgate Complex) - YouTube

Update Select from Yuque's OST - underrated *Many* such cases

Update To preserve the ambience, we'll wait a little longer before posting for such a playlist

Update "Pretentiousness" honestly I don't even think would describe how I value my own youthful ambition - and what, I'm going to expect people to see me as not a narcissist despite that? Always a contradiction. Why I don't be productive - I'm too self-conscious.

As in, "causes my jaws to *call*: "yuh" Y'all niggas ain't doin' shit

Update There's a contradiction - even in saying, what would Nietzsche himself have had as an impression - if I'm too drunk, just plainly, on principle, I shouldn't post it because it's risky

Take it as you will, the minute thing isn't so important - Yume 2kki, back in 2014 when the (secret) Library with the musical segment (taken from Ib) was still fresh and new for what it was in the context of its present era - that was obviously more than the minute interpretation one would have like right now, long after that era - I saw it when I was first alone in college with a roommate even at the time I tried my best not to remember in the first place

Update Thinking "correct"ly, you can't hurt the corporate algorithmic oligarchs enough, even physically by your human means

They hold more power, beyond all justifiable reason, than you know

What was a lifetime? What was a lifetime? What is the total profit? Compare that to the corporate oligarchs.

A million years - guess what? - their rates are in the first place far faster - do you expect to win by a war of attrition? They win presently, by doing nothing.

I want to invent a word harsher than the n-word, because certain of these shills are so horrible. They definitely deserve it. There's no doubt about that much

And these are the run-of-the-mill, where I have to witness it online

I feel like, in a sense, I'm actually *obligated* to espouse kino

Just because of this position, and scenario

But then call to mind, boomers were legally allowed ecstacy, the drug, and felt that induced sense of unity, and went on to think that the rest of us descendants can all die for all they care - so what is that in itself

Between the prospect of being drunk at all or not - not being drunk at all has life feeling too long altogether - being drunk makes time fly by, to an extent it feels unnatural What am I trying to say? History is too slow - - [redacted]

Update Nietzsche's coining of the "spirit of gravity" - how is that related to my own sense of history (or rather the "end of history" as we're taught (*that it is*) in the modern day) and the inherent boredom that comes with it?

And I assure you - no matter how much shills will reinforce to you that you not doing anything violent against jews specifically at the present moment in and of itself means you have no capacity in you to do anything ever at any point in time - I do not apreciate jews or their ascetic priesthood, or the ascetic idealism of the - boomer, or any of such adherents, or any such people

Update Honestly, the space - not even necessarily in the sense of the word the "right", but literally just the "space" to be "pretentious"

Time takes too many days, with no responses, at least from males - in fact I get more responses from females online than males

Tired of the autism diagnosis, which people give for lack of a better understanding frankly

I don't really have a better term than Rick and Morty's "true level" for the basic concept of what I would want over the day-to-day (I never saw that segment - I just heard about)

0 notes

sketching-shark · 2 years ago

Note

I feel ya on the whole "falling out of love with the show" thing. When it first released, I LOVED Monkie Kid. Liked really loved it. I would talk about it all the time. But four seasons in, you could say I've been disillusioned. I don't hate the show or anything and still find enjoyment from it, but I'm just very much aware of it's shortcomings in terms of storytelling and characterizations (looking at you Wukong) and just see that there's much to be desired. When there's a hiatus, my feeling isn't "No, I'm upset it's over." My feelings have turned into "thank goodness because I need a break from this show." Kinda sad because I thought this show was the greatest, and it's not.

Initially, I thought going in a more narrative direction was the best decision the writers made. Now I can't help but question if sticking with the slice of life format would've been better, instead of trying (and kinda failing) to be this dramatic, angsty story. I think Season 2 had the best balance between the two formats.

Lol, I think I can sum it up by saying that I thought LMK would be ATLA level of great, and it's far from it.

Monkie Kid spoilers & some complaining below the read more

bigh sigh but yeah anon. i found Monkie Kid so fun in its first few seasons because besides the neat characters and good animation most of the stories revolved around silly adventures and issues that could in fact be wrapped up in a pretty satisfying manner within 10 minutes. And oh yeah there was also that little detail of the Monkey King being presented as at least a somewhat competent mentor. So yeah need to note as usual that i lean towards pessimism but ugh you can only go through so many instances of Qi Xiaotian getting relentlessly traumatized & a significant amount of that trauma being the result of things SWK did or failed to do all while one character after another yells at the Monkey King for being a thoughtless jerk who ruins literally everything & all of that while the plot then repeatedly trips over itself to kind of confirm this sentiment before you go from "Oh boy! I can't wait to see what goofy fun times we'll have next!" to "Oh boy. I wonder how Qi Xiaotian's going to get traumatized and SWK's going to be made even worse. Again."

#anon answered #monkey critical #also been kind of weird seeing large sections of the fandom go from doing a lot to paint swk in the worst light possible #to saying that because we have no idea what swk's take on his past is that we can't draw any conclusions #like very understandable sentiment on one hand #but on the other #besties his own terrible decisions already resulted even if inadvertently in the near destruction of all reality #in light of that idk if any measure of a tragedy filled backstory matters in comparison to his colossal screw-ups in the show's present :(#also can't be forgotten that the one(1) time we see his view of things from the past #was screwing up the fire of samadhi ritual and getting yelled at for it #so you know #that's super awesome & sets a great precedent

17 notes · View notes

elle-rosewater · 2 years ago

Note

Hello! I am actually so curious after that one post — do you have a favorite scene from Argonauts that you could give a behind-the-scenes commentary on? Your series is amazing and so well researched!

Thank youuuu for this question, I am going to explode!

You must understand how much I hated CA:TFA when I first saw it lol. Thought I was so clever when Bucky saved Steve in the alley at the beginning and I said out loud to no one, "This guy isn't making it out of the movie." When I convinced myself to give Cap another shot and watched TWS, it made me hate TFA even more.

Those Smithsonian scenes were great! I wanted more of those! Who the hell were those guys in the murals? Those missions Peggy was talking about were Steve's legacy! Those acts were the stuff of legend! WHY WAS THERE ONLY A 30-SECOND MONTAGE OF IT IN TFA?? WHY WASN'T THERE ALREADY A LONGFIC TO FILL THIS MASSIVE OBVIOUS GAP?

So I put to good use the knowledge I already had of the European Theatre of World War II. It's been an interest of mine for a long, long time, way before I heard of Captain America. Never, ever, ever will the comments about The Argonauts being well-researched not make me feel proud.

To date, I think Chapter 6 "Novara" is one of my best. The balance of action with character and emotional development was about as good as it gets for me. All the guys got to demonstrate their competency as individuals — which was very important to me when I first started writing. Everyone needed a distinct voice, personality, and their own development or emotional arc within the overall story. Told myself the readers needed to care about and be invested in at least one of the Commandos outside of Bucky. Pretty sure this is when I really found the right voice for Jim Morita. It's here where the very first seeds of doubt are planted in Jim's brain, where he thinks maybe he should say something about what he knows and what he's seen. You can see the growth in him when you compare how Jim talked with Bucky in "Novara" to the way they talked in "Plasma" (that's the chapter with the "it is your duty to be my family" speech). Jim (and Monty) used physical distance and pessimism a bit like defense mechanisms. He was relieved when Gabe took the lead when they found Bucky in the belfry. He leaned away from Bucky when he was sick. He stood aside when Steve showed up in the church. In "Plasma," Jim didn't do that. He was hands-on starting the drip and knew the right things to say. He didn't hesitate to do what needed to be done and to speak up for what he needed in return.

Cripes, Jim has endeared himself to me so much since I started The Argonauts. His story is for all the people that keep others at arm's length because they're scared, the people that have had their defences up for so long that they don't remember how to take them down.

But, yeah, the setting and tone of the Novara battle was influenced by the final battle sequence in Saving Private Ryan, right down to the belfry that I put Bucky in. Luckily, Bucky makes it out of there, unlike Jackson in the film. The medic in Saving Private Ryan was my favourite character; find "Wade" in The Torture and Rescue of Prometheus. The medic in Band of Brothers was also my favourite character/person (are you seeing a pattern in me yet?). We haven't gotten any references to him or the "Bastogne" episode yet, but we will get them.

I'm sure I've said it before, but: Let it not be a secret that the emotional climax of The Argonauts will look a lot like the scene from "The Breaking Point" episode of Band of Brothers. Thanks a lot, Neal McDonough. /s

#the argonauts #how the argonauts was born #ask eliot things #eliot writes good

10 notes · View notes

funkymbtifiction · 3 years ago

Text

6s and love

Re: 6s and intimacy/love - I think it's possible for MBTI type to affect a 6's outlook, as I am an ISFJ and have always wanted a partner, children and a family of my own. Not to imply that all ISFJs want this, but a significant proportion of us seem to. There's that relational Si-Fe emphasis on building and nurturing what matters to us, what feels lasting and permanent. I think it's why my 6 motivations manifest in a 'soft' way - the need for security does, for me, relate to love, companionship and belonging.

However, ambivalence, distrust and skepticism will still poke through. This is the fundamental difference between 6s and 2s, I think. 6s often think about their own need to be protected or to be secure in a harsh world, whereas 2s put themselves in the role of the perpetual giver and aren't consciously aware of how much they crave support themselves. Our zone of comfort is different, too.

Despite being a big fat feeler, my first instinct in relationships is to stay in my head. What is sensible? What is practical? How can I think logically about this? What dangers might lie here? In my first relationship, I made a Google Doc list of pros and cons early on, filed away information that rang alarm bells, calculated the timelines that might lead to a possible breakup, made gloomy predictions about long-distance not lasting beyond *X number* of months, and self-sabotaged due to the level of anxiety/pessimism I could create left to my own devices, lol. All this despite me being passionately in love with him! Later on, I began to date 'by the book' - going on dates where I wasn't in love, but forcing myself to go because it seemed 'safe' and 'sensible'. An absolute psychological nightmare, lol. Being an ISFJ 6 is a funny mix of sentiment and skepticism - feeling deeply, caring deeply, yet trusting my head more than my heart and struggling to embrace my heart's impulses.

2s, as Positive Outlook types, seem to be more willing to throw themselves full-tilt into emotions, genuinely trusting that 'love is all you need' (unlike a 6w7 ISFJ who might want to believe that, but will feel their mind springing up with a thousand counter-arguments :P ). I worked with a 2 recently. As the project lead, she foregrounded 'love' in the title of the project, and keeps posting on social media about our belief in love. I enjoyed the project's focus on compassion and positive relationships and found it very meaningful. Yet, I squirm every time I see her posts. Why? Because I'm skeptical in a way she isn't. A 2 writer suggested to us that we should include the idea of 'professional love' - a new model of practicing love in the workplace. My 2 colleague jumped at the idea eagerly and shares it publicly - I, meanwhile, politely demurred as my brain was too full of doubt and discomfort: "What about employee exploitation?" "How can your boss love you the same way your family loves you? If I stopped being competent, I'd be fired!" "I don't trust my colleagues to love me!" "This is unrealistic!" "We need boundaries because people are dangerous!" For me, working towards a kinder world means engaging full-on with the reality that it often isn't.

Tl:dr; An ISFJ 6 can brim with contradictions when it comes to love. There's the heart, which cares about others and is 'all about love'. Then there's our prickly hedgehog-heads, the wariness and questioning that will never go away :P

The way you responded to this is "attachment" and Fe -- this is implying 6s don't care about love or family, I need to do something about it to change the perhaps wrongful perception about us not being loving, while clarifying the truth about 6s! But that's different from a 2 doing image management (she doesn't see me as loving :P) or being 'assertive' in pursuing love/attention/dependency.

6-ness like the above is very different from this:

I spend an endless amount of time philosophizing in my head about love. Since my birth, I have lived for love. One of my favorite things is to watch romantic movies and while I watch them there is just one thought in my head “love is the foundation of everything, this entire universe is about essence of love”. I also feel like I should make others happy. I go to the store before my class and it is impossible for me not to buy something for my friends (they always call me the Santa Claus hahah), if I see someone needs help my mind forces me to offer my help even when I don’t have time or resources to help and I expect to get love in return. And anger comes rushing if I don’t get it. <- the line 8 and the core clue of being a 2 (look at all this I am doing for you, how dare you reject it/me!). More.

That's why I said 6s aren't all about "love." Being loved and figuring out how to get it is not at the center of their core need and focus, so much as the need to be secure/safe/not mislead. Love is what they do/feel, through a veil of doubt, skepticism, and questioning, it's not their primary motivation in life -- I need to do whatever I can to earn love! I think I've made this contrast before, but go watch some clips of Lana Lang and Clark Kent from Smallville. She proactively rushes after people, wanting to be as close as possible (no secrets!!!!!), and is angry and assertive when she doesn't feel loved/wanted in return (the line to 8). Clark moves toward her, then backs off, then moves toward her, then backs off, second-guessing himself 24/7 and wallowing in guilt that he can't be honest with her or love her in the way that he would want to, because it's not safe.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 2 #enneagarm 6

22 notes · View notes

natequarter · 3 years ago

Note

yonderland for the fandom ask!

Favorite character: debbie! she's such a fun and GOOD character and the fact that her secret power is essentially "common sense" is hilarious

Least Favorite character: admiral anous a.k.a captain anus. like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): i don't really ship any of the characters in yonderland but shoutout to debbie/negatus, vextan and uh. ellis of woolworth/kendall the jeweller asdfghjkl

Character I find most attractive: debbie and the two men who show up in s1 and nearly duel to the death over letting the other go through a doorway. that specific fashion and the hair and the swords is hot ok

Character I would marry: ho-tan, no justification needed

Character I would be best friends with: both elf & nick the stick. nick's pessimism is hilarious. 10/10 i relate

A random thought: i think it would be really funny if negatus' beard is actually just sharpied on. sometimes he adds a moustache or a goatee for evil flair

An unpopular opinion: there are several racist characters/settings (particularly ennythingos) and it's uh. uncomfortable!

My Canon OTP: don't have one

My Non-canon OTP: again, don't have one, but debbie/negatus and vextan are both fun

Most Badass Character: either debbie or imperatrix, largely because they're the only people in the realm who aren't like... wildly incompetent

Most Epic Villain: again, imperatrix by virtue of being even remotely competent. however the best villains of the show are obviously rita neil and jeff

Pairing I am not a fan of: debbie/pete he's gay she's got a double life in a fantasy realm you know how it is

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i don't think any of the characters were screwed up but i do also feel bad for ho-tan's wish getting reversed

Favourite Friendship: debbie & elf

Character I most identify with: ho-tan because i too wish i could magically become a different gender

Character I wish I could be: one of the evil overlords like negatus and co., one of the knights, or again one of those guys who get into swordfights over minor things because gender envy

(link)

#asks #yonderland

11 notes · View notes

tanadrin · 5 years ago

Note

Honest question: how do you expect anyone to build a life that will be just fine irrespective of politics?Everything in my life which I’ve used to try and deal with shit has been destroyed by this pandemic, and the country is about to reelect the demagogue whose policy has been making that worse. This isn’t catastrophizing - the situation is a catastrophe. Is the solution just “move to a different country lol?” Because I imagine you know that’s actually rather hard.

if you’re American, and by “reelect the demagogue whose policy has been making that worse” you mean Trump

(if you’re not, and are referring to some other demagogue-led country, ignore this bit)

then I have to point out that 538 is giving Trump about a 12% chance right now, and he’s behind in both national and swing-state polls, and while 12% is not nothing, it is also only a 12% chance. multiply all pessimism contingent on a Trump victory by 12%, and all potential optimism contingent on a Biden victory by 88%. Remember that even a 2016-sized polling error does not give Trump a greater than 50% probability of winning; a Trump victory would require a Dewey-beats-Truman sized polling error, and while that’s happened before (when Truman beat Dewey, natch), it’s happened once before in the era of modern Presidential election polling. The odds right now of Democrats winning the Presidency, holding the House, and having a slim majority in the Senate are at about 70% (again, per recent 538 reporting), so catastrophism about the outcome of the American election is... well, catastrophism! Because the situation the US is facing is not actually catastrophe.

I know dirtbag left doomerism is popular on Twitter these days, but it’s, pardon my uncharitability, fucking stupid and just as divorced from reality as Fox News-poisoned right-wing conspiracism. On balance the likely outcome of this election is Democratic control of the legislative and executive branches, and--though this would be contingent on a strong Dem majority in the Senate, and popular appetite for it--there’s a nonzero chance of Dems packing SCOTUS and having control of all three branches of government. Small chance, to be sure, but far, far larger than it’s ever been in my lifetime.

(and if you think ACB being confirmed means a 99% chance that SCOTUS will steal the election... that is also stupid. the supreme court is only relevant in a handful of very specific circumstances where the election is nearly a tie, and those are not very likely circumstances! it would be very bad if we got Bush v Gore 2.0, yes; and being concerned about SCOTUS picks to avoid that kind of thing is reasonable; but letting fear of that scenario dominate your predictions for how the election will turn out would be extremely fucking stupid. I would put more money on the Dems packing the court in 2021 than I would on the court deciding the 2020 election. Not a lot, you understand; but I’d much sooner bet 50 euro on the former than the latter.)

(again, if you’re not American, ignore all the above; but AFAIK other likely demagogue led-countries you might be from, like Brazil, Poland, Hungary, Russia, the Philippines, and the UK, do not have upcoming elections.)

You build a life with meaning outside of politics the same way you build a life with meaning in general. Dan Savage (yeah yeah I know) talks about this w/r/t people who are lonely and have no short-term, or even long-term, prospects of a romantic relationship. You read, you have hobbies, you make friends, you refuse to let bitterness and rage consume you--and in this day and age, you get off social media, if that’s where your bitterness and rage is coming from--and you develop yourself as a well-rounded person so that if you do stumble into a scenario where a romantic relationship seems possible, you are an interesting and fun person to be in a relationship with, because you have a full and complete life outside that relationship.

So too with any other sphere of life. If thoughts of politics and anger against politicians is consuming your life, fucking stop consuming news about politics. It’s not doing you any good. By all means, vote in elections, even volunteer for political organizations, but also read, cultivate hobbies, make friends, get out of the house, get in shape, learn to bake--find out who you are in all areas of life besides the one making you miserable, in short. Yeah, coronavirus makes all this harder. It doesn’t make any of it impossible. I know it’s driving us all a little crazy--me included, and I’m a married Extremely Online homebody--but it won’t last forever. And you get to choose what to do with yourself in the meantime. You get to choose how consumed with resentment and frustration at the world you’re gonna be. You get to choose every day whether you’re going to let the fear that nothing is possible for you govern your behavior, or whether you’re going to try to accomplish something (however difficult, however small) despite the circumstances around you.

If you write 300 words a day--a short newspaper column--then in six or seven months you’ll have a novel. If you do 20 minutes of exercise a day, in six months you could be in the best shape of your life. If you spend an hour a day playing with Python, in six months you could be a fairly competent programmer. And so on and so forth. Mutatis mutandis, as far as the things you’re actually interested in, but the underlying point holds: just because the world feels like it’s going to hell in a handbasket doesn’t mean you can’t build up your life in other areas. The ‘rona doesn’t stop you from having an online or socially-distanced book club, or from hanging out with friends outdoors, or from getting drunk on raid night with your WoW guild (A++ can recommend, btw).

And if you really can’t, if the anxiety or the anger or the worry or the sheer overwhelming weight of it all means you can’t even manage modest effort in the things you care about, you should assign a much greater likelihood to the possibility that your brain is broken, that your thoughts are lying to you (they do that sometimes!) and that your life might be greatly improved by some combination of anti-anxiety medication/antidepressants and talk therapy. Because God is dead, depressive realism is horseshit, and we have to make our own meaning in the world; and the human brain is, in fact, usually very good at that when it’s firing on all cylinders.

#Anonymous

538 notes · View notes

monsoonblooms12 · 4 years ago

Text

Eumoiriety (Ethan x f!MC)

Summary: Four Years of Pooja Sharma's Birthday, from her first year as an Intern to her first year as an Attending.

Eumoiriety: Happiness due to state of innocence and purity💕

A/N: It's my baby's birthday and I went overboard. This is purely self indulgent and since I have zero to negative self control, this turned out way longer than I expected it to. Anyway, I hope you still like it💙

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 3.7K (I am sorry!)

Rating: General

Category: A bit angst, A bit fluff

Warnings: None that I saw.

Prompts: @choicesaugustchallenge Day 29 - Birthday

READ ON AO3

Intern Year:

She walks barefoot on the green floor as the dews clinging to grass tips, soothe her like the cold breeze on a summer day.

A few golden rays filter through the canopy that acts as a barrier to the shining sun overhead. When they fall on the grass, the view looks like gold intermixed with emerald.

She wears a white gown, which flutters behind her, as her heart dances with the bees going flower to flower to get their prize of nectar in return for their favour of pollinating them.

There is a calm spreading through her soul, an ease, a slow infusion of tranquillity with her heart beats.

A swish makes her turn. Her eyes capture a silhouette, drifting farther and farther, as if taking her calm along with it.

It's replaced by restlessness.

There is a cajole, a whispered cajole, that urges her feet to run, her mind to think, her heart to wonder.

She follows. One step, and another.

The scene changes.

There are no more trees, no more green with the sun's shine.

At a distance, the waves crash on the sandy shore, their meet with their shore echoing in the silent surroundings.

She looks around and sees it.

The silhouette, now apparent that it was a man, standing with his back to her. He looks unbothered. As if he stole her peace and gave her his unrest in return.

She tries to walk slowly towards, footsteps imprinting on the sand, but the distance never seems to lessen or end.

She tries running, but to no avail.

The waves continue crashing, the footprints continue to get imprinted and the man continues to remain still and silent.

The only change has been in the sky, which is now leaden, dark with humongous clouds.

The thunder begins to cackle.

Once, Twice, Thrice.

She closes her ears with her hands, eyes shut to reduce the impact of the thunderous noise reverberating through every single one of her bones. But the roar keeps getting louder and louder until...

Her eyes snap open, but the echo from her sweven doesn't leave her. She turns around to find her phone ringing, straining her eyes with incredulous bright light (that she forgot to dim). The caller ID is barely registered, but the voice gives away the identity.

It's her sister.

With a flash, all the haze from the peculiar dream gets lost and bubbly happiness takes up the emptied space.

It's their birthday.

The first one since she came here. She had been so busy unknotting the twisted knots of circumstances in which she found herself tangled, that she had forgotten about the once unforgettable occasion of her life.

Maybe she has really lost that childhood she held on so tightly to, she thinks.

But not without a hope. Of a chance to get it back.

Maybe differently.

But the want to relive those carefree days, where the colour of pens you get as gifts, and the decision of who gets the piece of cake with the chocolate masterpiece on it were the only things that held importance. All other worldly, societal woes were secondary, trivial, uncared for.

She wishes her sister and she wishes her back.

3..2..1.. Happy Birthday! To Us!

They scream-whisper together, carrying on the years' long tradition.

The only thing different? They were on their cellulars, ecospheres apart, instead of snuggling and shouting together, and annoying their brother for an entire day.

Subconsciously, a tee-hee escapes her. Thinking about her brother, she takes a look at the clock. Correct 12:03 am on 12th August. If she knows him, he is probably counting the seconds.

At 12:05 am to the dot, another shrill echoes through the silent apartment. Her guess is correct.

On the other side of the screen, sits Idhayan arranging the cake so that Pooja can see the eloquent buttercream designs he has hand made on it.

In the background, there is a blurry motion. It turns out to be Alekhya.

She jumps onto the couch beside their brother, putting an end to his steady concentration.

He makes an irritated face, while she laughs.

And Pooja just watches, giggling alone.

The pang in her chest reminds her, once & once more, about just how much she misses them.

How empty, monochromatic her life is, with all these miles between them.

For the past year, every time any event took a turn for the worse, broke her, or hurt her, she wanted to go back to her safe haven.

The place where the chronicles of her life begun.

Many times, she had found herself convinced (by others as well as her self doubting mind) that she didn't belong here. That she didn't have the calibre, the skills to strive in this fight of dogs, in this race of horses where she felt like a donkey.

Or maybe a snail.

She dreamed of sleeping in her mother's lap when she first found herself in the crossroads of feelings and reason. Making her muddled head clear with words that never crossed the barrier between dream and reality.

When Mrs Martinez died, she imagined herself sitting on the swing, her brother's comfort brownies reduced to messy crumbs, as she let the mountain winds take away the burden of dread that pressed upon her heart.

And the day when Landry's backstab became eminent? She visualized her sister ripping him down, shredding him with knives of words because that's what he deserved.

She knew her father would have made them both coffee like he always did when he came home during breaks from piloting. He would have said a mere few words, which would have been enough for her to see the path ahead.

The mini virtual celebration ends, and the silence settles again. Tendrils of sleep come and go, but never stay.

She is left alone with her thoughts and worries, and a fear of the unknown which is hidden by the curtains of the future.

--------

The day passes like a swift blowing wind in a desert.

It's quiet, too quiet.

And probably for the first time in her life, she adores it. To be away from the hustle of a celebration, which would have been a noise in the cacophony, given the situation.

To get a period of silence for her thoughts to drift away, to think about the unknown, to predict a make or break.

The pages are turned swiftly by her fingers, one of which is clad with a minimal gold ring, another old ritual of hers.

The library harbours the overworked interns, who are now pushing the boundaries of time to find a way to help their friend out.

Their tired eyes pain with the lack of sleep, coffee fuelling through their veins, and mind engrossed in picking up any clue, any line, any tip that could be supportive for them.

Hours pass, no-one utters a word. Pens run on empty notebooks, hands managing to create only messy scribbles. Black and Blue fill the white as if it never existed.

The clock strikes the end hour.

They all get up.

They go home together, for discussions and relaxation.

At the doorstep, everyone enters before her, while she stands still, too engulfed in worries to notice the happenings.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Confetti pops, her reverie is broken.

The smile shines like a jewel in a priceless necklace.

The arrangements are minimal, just champagne, cake and friends, but that's more than enough for her. To make her forget the dark fog of pessimism.

Maybe there is hope left.

-------

Second Year:

12th August.

The day that is drifting closer by the minute.

It has always been Alekhya's birthday for her.

On her phone, In her diary, In her mind.

People might regard it as a beautiful flaw of her nature, the flaw of always placing others before herself.

But to her, the instinct seemed natural, obvious. She had never delved into the whys, and she doesn't want to begin now.

For Alekhya, the circumstances became vice-versa.

And this was the beauty of their bond.

Strong, Pure and Selfless.

They never seem to realize that, though.

They hold onto the strings of simplicity, of sweet uncomplexity. And that is what helps them to bridge the gap between siblings and best friends.

After the tumultuous year, that very much resembled the completion of a voyage through the rough Indian Ocean, where storms ravage through days and endless nights, thunders crack, and waves that scale the heights between the ocean and sky to become mountains of water, crash on the feeble pieces of wood barely held together in the form of a boat, coming back to her origin, her hometown is a necessity.

Especially for her to find that normalcy again.

She survived.

Even though she fell, almost drowned, gasped for a breath more times she could count and nearly accepted her fate.

Until that is, the pale faces of the ones she holds close, the endless stream of tears that scale their cheeks, their breaking hearts, came to haunt her in her reverie and prevented her from closing her eyes & from letting that almost undetectable beat of heart stop.

The wishes from last year come back to her. This time, it wasn't virtual anymore. This time, it wasn't just painted in pixels, but written in buttercream letters, one which she could taste.

This time, the hugs weren't just virtual. They were very real, and very needed.

As she sits amidst the bushes of phenomenal florals, she lets her mind project in vivid colours, the extremities of the last year.

Her heart, breaking into tiny glass pieces, not perceived by the eye but sharp enough to draw blood.

The fear of losing and letting so many others lose along.

The coming close and going away, almost kisses and slide of unassuming hands, those which could easily be perceived as a mistake, but were anything but.

Competing in a nameless competition and almost dying in the process.

Getting the lost love back. Slowly, Gradually. (even if it felt too early to call it that)

And then... Her mind stops as the playful tunes start emanating out along with florescent light from the cellular, and the face of the one who has been a regular image of the thoughts that lull her to sleep.

On the other side, his voice is soft.

She can visualize him in the Diagnostics Office, leaning back on his chair.

Most probably on a break.

The new day hasn't even started for him, yet he remembers that it has, for her.

Their talks are interspersed with comfortable silence. For them, just the knowledge that the person on the other side is still there with them is enough.

All through the conversation, she waits.

In a hope that the irrelevant and unimportant date is written in faded letters somewhere in that brilliant mind of his.

As the line approaches its end, talks slowly halt, she feels a faint pang of sadness.

Maybe he doesn't remember it after all.

She bids her farewell, and as his finger hovers close to the end call button, she hears it.

Crystal Clear but still seeming unreal.

Happy Birthday, Pooja.

Her thanks are intermixed with a light giggle, unable to hold back the pleasure that erupts within her, along with the flutter called butterflies in her stomach.

Maybe there is always hope left, after all.

-------

Last year of Residence:

There have been countless moments when she has asked the time to wait, to slow its rushing footsteps that leave no mark behind.

Sometimes it's a beg, while in other vespertine hours, it's a mindless murmur.

This moment is one of them.

When a handful of sand is slowly released on a windy day, the swooshes and swishes carry them away, farther and farther, leave them with no choice but to fly along.

The minutes were being carried away by the same current, where they had no choice but to pass.

No one had the power to hold it, not even the mighties, the richest, the most supreme.

The conditions now extensively mimic the conditions during her first year.

Just this time, it was textbooks on internal medicine and medical procedure instead of ethics.

The wishes that day are hushed, the minimal party comprising of cupcakes and mug cakes and the gang, christened "The Invincibles" after they successfully tackle one hurdle and another but remain strong and together, in their PJs.

It must be one of the first nights since who knows how long when they spent their time doing an activity that doesn't involve colour coded tabs and complicated biological drawings.

And even though some of them make faux complaints about the wasted time, they all needed this break more than they could express.

The morning sun rays filter through the white curtains guarding the windows way too fast, making them unable to pinpoint the exact moment when the black of the night ceased to exist, when the sky became melanocrysus and when the golden took over the entire stretch.

A single text message pushes her to drop the blanket of laziness, the cocoon she inhabited. Getting up and placing a smile has never been as easy as it was now.

Come Over

------

The condo is inhabited by a stark silence when she reaches there.

She knocks. The click of the doorknob on the other side is almost instantaneous.

His hand wraps around her waist like a reflex deeply etched in his encephalon. For the first time in forever, their kisses are not chaste. Or momentary.

When he whispers a happy birthday wish against her forehead, that's what she would call intimacy.

The purity of the action touches her heart and makes it swell, with an emotion that she predicts will not remain unnamed any longer.

-------

First-year as an attending:

The celebratory vibes are in the air today.

Her stride is confident, heels playing a mellow harmony on the shining floors.

No one doesn't recognize her.

The intern who nearly lost her license to the Head of Diagnostics team, it was a journey that had thrown her off-road a million times.

Sometimes the barriers were pinpricks leaving no marks, and sometimes they were boulders crushing her.

And sometimes, one of these on-lookers would tear down her faith by stabbing her from the back, the cowardice of their soul, being mirrored in the blades of those knives of betrayal.

And yet she stands strong, her resolve unperturbed, as she faces the demons, those of others and those of her own.

It's a fight she has been learning to fight since she was eleven.

To curtain her tears with a glow in eyes, to hide the broken heart behind pretty lies. And just like practice makes one perfect, she has almost perfected the art of having to hide the real her inside.

As she passes the numerous congregations, amalgamations of patients and staff, she is greeted by wishes from old acquaintances whose kindness is apparent in their smile and by wishes of employed enemies, whose disinterest or sometimes blatant hate is too, completely apparent in their voice.

But they are not the ones she is worried about.

Interspersed between these two extremities are people who speak kind and in flattery lines with a sword behind their back.

Those who know how to hide their true intentions in the modulations of voice.

Every time she hears a wish where nothing is apparent, her heart stops for a while.

Strings of thought muddle her head and she tries to figure out the reality behind their words.

Sometimes she succeeds, sometimes she fails.

And sometimes she faces vehement opposition of her tired nerves who ask her to stop caring about those who are passing by.

But she never stops.

Her legs carry her to the Diagnostics office.

Her Office.

The swell of pride, of a fulfilment she last felt when she got into Edenbrook, make her head light.

She tries to stop but gives up the efforts soon.

If she has realized something through the twists of lawsuits and turns of almost dying, it is that if you keep waiting for the turns of the clock to approach a "right moment" for a chance to celebrate, you will probably keep waiting your entire life until your breath is being taken away and all that is left are regrets and missed opportunities of happiness.

So she twirls like a princess in her imaginary ball gown, beaming with satisfaction, and taking pride in giving herself the give of success.

Of making her loved ones and herself proud.

She gets so carried away in the train of thoughts, in which one bougie is connected by another, and one more, that she doesn't notice the person who preoccupies the room.

The halt is so sudden, that she almost tumbles upon the man. Almost.

She manages to get hold of herself, her hand on his back.

He turns, eyes meet.

If someone would have asked her what is cosmic, she would have said "The melt of glowing ambers into ice blue." Sure, she has looked into them more times than she can count or recollect. But every time their orbs meet, the reactions the action produces, she can only give the word seraphic to it.

When Ethan left for Amazon, she would often wonder why is she still keeping the lamp of hope alive. His absquatulation broke her, acted like a spark to her over-thinking mind. She would lie on her bed, eyes tracing the same lines on the ceiling above her over and over again, thinking just what she did wrong. She never reached the end of the path though, never really achieved the answer, even after meandering through a hundred courses of thoughts.

But now, she thanks her old self for living through it all. For not letting that lamp extinguish. For keeping it safe in a little corner of the labyrinths of her heart. Wordlessly, she hugs him, the plethora of emotions becoming quite too much to be expressed in minute syllables.

His whisper next to her ears, the innocently simplistic words induce a shiver in her spine.

But the last word.

4 letters, 1 word.

It hangs in the air like a diamond necklace around a maiden's neck. Like a tiny pendant that shines brighter than all elaborate jewels, all lengthy anecdotes.

It's enough, more than enough for her.

And as their smiles slowly spread like the slow rise of the golden sun, gently letting the rays spread through the humble earth. And those smiles, they shine together, brighter than the Sirius.

Happy Birthday, Love.

-------

Her casual gown, bearing floral patterns, flutters along with the soft grass, she feels a sense of wonder. Whether at the shimmering moon, the stardust spread through the stretch in the woods, or at the simplicity of her surroundings, she does not know.

Her unassuming footsteps walk slow, observant of her surroundings. After walking down the trail, she stops at the clearance.

At a distance, something shines under the silver moonbeams. Her mind beckons her to return back, but her intuition asks her to move on. She listens to the latter's plea.

A small cuboidal box and a bunch of white tulips lay peacefully out of place. She usually would have left it, just in case it was a trap.

But this time curiosity overtook reason and she picks the bouquet up. A small note amidst her favourite flowers.

I love you

No name. No initials. But she knew exactly who had written it. Not because he was the one who asked her to come here, in the heaven hidden amidst the chaos, but because those flourishes of his fanciful lettering would never escape her notice. Even if the only source of luminance was distant fairy lights on trees and the faint moonbeams.

Her eyes travel away from the articles. At a distance, the silhouette stands. The same silhouette from her sweven. But this time, there is no restlessness, no rush, no tension in the air. No thunder cackles and no waves crash. This time the silhouette waits for her, unlike the last time when it was her waiting for him.

He turns, only the shine of his orbs visible. And the shadow of the gorgeous smile that dances on his lips. The last time, his stone mask was too heavy, too powerful for any of them to break or move.

But this time? This time, the mask has fallen off, it has met the end of its existence.

He comes closer, the shadow now a clear image. He goes and picks up the cuboid and hands it to her.

"Open it" He whispers in a soft voice, that disappears as soon as it appears.

She takes it and opens it, as per his words. Everything is perfect and normal.

Except for the space in the middle.

Something sparkles, in silver lustre. Her first instinct is, Diamond? She decided to pick it up

It's a key.

She looks up to him, bewildered. Is it what she thinks it is?

Move-in with me?

She places the box of chocolates down, the key held tight in her fist.

And then she kisses him.

She doesn't have to speak a word, but he understands. After all, why would two intertwined hearts need verbal responses to know what the other one feels?

Only his home, can fill the brick walls of his house with love, and make it a home.

------

They both lay side by side on the lush grass, hands intertwined, hearts beating in unison, silence filling their souls like air fills their lungs.

They look at the stars and the moon. Or more appropriately, the gaze at the starry screen, but the mind plays significant moments from their time together.

Pooja's mind however thinks about the four of her birthdays since she set foot in Boston. The mundane softness of them, contrasting all the birthdays she has had in the rest of her years.

The photo frame of the interns from the first year. The group video call, her life from the second year. The PJ party from the third year. And the key from the fourth.

They are puzzle pieces of the saga of her life, the absence of friends from early years, the gap, the void now filled.

And after years of searching, she thinks she has finally found it. Hidden in the normality, the simplicity, the mundanity of life.

Happiness.

PS: If you are reading this, I am very grateful for you. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day🤎

Tags🤎 (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed or if I forgot you):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @izzyourresidentlawyer @phoenixrising308 @adiehardfan @quixoticdreamer16 @a-crepusculo

Open Heart (All fics and edit): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010 @headoverheelsforramsey @estellaelysian @shanzay44

Ethan x Pooja: @aleynareads @choicesaddict5 @stygianflood @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @takemyopenheart @mm2305

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

45 notes · View notes

sidgenoabofest · 5 years ago

Text

Remember, you can write for as many or as few prompts as you’d like! And check out the updated FAQ and Timeline pages or send us an Ask if your have any questions. Happy writing!

1. Mpreg

2. Courting

3. Omega/Omega

4. Jealous mate

5. Lactation kink

6. Mermaid a/b/o au

7. Mail order bride!!!

8. Subversion/Inversion

9. Non-traditional dynamics

10. Very elaborative courting

11. oral knotting + cock warming

12. Geno’s first heat in America.

13. Little Drummer Girl au but a/b/o

14. alpha/alpha first time taking a knot

15. a xeno take on heat and abo dynamics

16. Geno falling for Ace!Sid in an a/b/o au

17. Mutual pining where they’re both Alpha’s

18. Hockey player Alpha Geno, non hockey Sid

19. Alpha!Geno’s dick is too big when he knots

20. Geno and Anna (alphas) try to woo Sid (omega)

21. Regency AU arranged marriage with shy omega Sid

22. Rival teammates and one goes into heat mid game

23. a/b/o dynamics based on lions, rather than wolves

24. beta/omega; first time going through heat together

25. Alpha-Alpha dynamic going into rut on the team plane

26. cockwarming as self-care and/or somebody's love language

27. Sometimes Sid will let Geno fuck his thighs and let him knot.

28. Alien Alpha Sid captures Earthling Omega Geno in his tractor beam

29. Snowed in and/or cabin fic where one of them goes into heat or rut

30. Mafia boss Geno, with husband omega Sid, who is still a boss in his own right

31. Sid's knot takes forever to go down. They work around it with cosy movie nights.

32. Alpha Sid being all worked up over pregnant geno.... and perhaps overly protective…

33. Sid being scent blind and falling in love with Geno the long way, while Geno pines and pines

34. Sid goes into a full on mating heat at the West Point hill climb, Geno fights off all comers.

35. Geno is intersex, with physical characteristics of both alpha and omega. Sid's into all of him.

36. Evgeni always goes to Sidney post heat (or rut). It’s one of many things they don’t talk about.

37. During a goal celebration, Sid and Geno experience a spontaneous bond. It freaks all involved out.

38. Alpha/Alpha rival knight au or Alpha knight and Omega squire? Just something with romance and armour.

39. Tired of being teased and the punchlines of locker room jokes, Sid asked Geno to take his virginity/knot him.

40. Geno and Sid as two alphas who pine for each other and try to pretend they don’t want each other, but they do.

41. sid has a kink for fucking new brides, so omega geno dresses up in bridal lingerie and begs sid to knock him up

42. Alphas and omegas will fuck betas, but they don’t end up staying with them. This is what Sidney knows from experience.

43. Medieval abo au, Sid's castle is small and he and Geno have to consummate their marriage in front of all of Sid's patrons

44. omega/omega pregnancy kink, no getting pregnant angst, just skip right to the good stuff: already pregnant and horny about it.

45. rookie sid and geno are still a bit too young for a real heat, so they put in some practice together and things get out of hand

46. “i’m rich and i’m not supposed to talk to servants but the person that scrubs my floor is really cute” (/smells fucking amazing)

47. New relationship during the holidays and somebody forgot to take their suppressant and goes into rut in between dinner and dessert

48. Omega Sid and alpha Geno hook up, it's a one night stand. Sid notices he's pregnant a couple weeks after and goes to hunt down Geno

49. Baby NHL omegas come to Sid for advice on omegas working with alphas, dating etiquette with alphas and what its like to get knotted by an alpha.

50. Alpha Geno courting Omega Sid to be allowed to mate him, over expensive gifts to dinner invitations to being possessive and protective on the ice

51. Sid can’t stand being touched or scent marked by strangers, but Geno’s never been that to him. (Authors choice re: what designations they each have)

52. Regency AU: Mr Sidney Crosby is as well know for his big estate and he wealth as he is for being an omega who tops all the alpha gentlemen he take to his bed

53. Sid is always yapping on the bench, but in relationships his communication skills go right down the drain when he has a cold and can't rely on scent cues for help.

54. you rescued me from the creepy person that was hitting on me in the bar and i’m glad you did because MMHMMM you are hot and smell like nothing i’ve ever smelled before

55. Sid is a beta who Geno always calls on when he goes into heat/rut. It’s fun and no strings attached and they’re friends. Only Geno slowly realises he wants more than that

56. one is an omega and the other is a beta (the inherent convenience of a self-slicking butthole; the beta figuring out how to satisfy their partner in heat, who can go for HOURS)

57. Only werewolves are a/b/o’s, humans are just humans. As a general rule human!Sid stays out of wolf business but Evgeni keeps making it his business by acting like Sidney’s *his.*

58. sid being teased relentlessly for his big alpha dick in the locker room, and loving it, kinda strutting around naked but also going all pink, and geno really LOOKING for the first time

59. Sid has been on high level suppressants since juniors and nobody knows if he's hiding being an alpha or an omega. Geno has been curious for YEARS but never asked, till something happens.

60. One of their alpha/omega statuses doesn't kick in until after retirement-- they spent a good portion of life thinking they were a beta but now that shit is going BANANAS. Puberty at age 40

61. Sid/Geno/Anna where Sid + Geno are both Omegas and have banded together like "we don't need any alpha nonsense" but then Geno meets Alpha Anna at the Olympics and shit gets real, real fast.

62. Tradition has it, your mate is supposed to smell best to you. But Sid usually smells like old milk. How the fuck is Geno supposed to work around that? Because Sid is definitely the one he wants.

63. Alpha Sid's enthralled with Geno's omega trills. Geno's kind of a picky eater (like he's picky about everything) Sid revels in the challenge of finding snacks and gifts that will make Geno trill

64. geno's heats come on fast and with no warning, sometimes in the middle of a game, so once in a while sid can help a buddy out and slip geno some fingers to just get him through to the intermission

65. Established Sid and Geno who have not bonded for some reason (is one beta? are they waiting for something?), with a side of whoops, accidentally bonded to someone else in a heat-related medical emergency.

66. You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do?? (but make it hockey abo)

67. Sexual dysfunction: Maybe an alpha who's having trouble knotting, or a bata having a hard time staying hard his fist time dating an omega, or an omaga who's having issues self lubricating. Emotional comfort through sex!

68. Camboy or porn AU where the one who does sex work specializes in alpha/alpha or omega/omega porn. Ideally the one watching is still an NHL player and has some complicated feelings around their own same-gender preferences.

69. one is an alpha and the other is a beta (first time getting knotted and being overwhelmed by it plus like LOTS of lube; or the alpha likes getting fucked but doesn't like to be knotted so a beta partner is the perfect option)

70. omega/omega sid figuring out how to top geno's giant peach ass when omegas aren't particularly well-endowed (dick-extending knotting dildo? practicing flexibility? finger-shaped bruises trying to keep those cheeks pried open?)

71. Green card heat bond au! The KHL don’t want to release Geno from his contract to let him play in the NHL. It’s becoming messy and it looks like the Penguins may lose their legal case when someone suggests a heat bond green card.

72. Trophy wife Geno: He likes to be pampered, he like his valour track suits, he likes lounging around in fur coats, and he likes getting knotted when Sid comes back from a win...and maybe even more when he comes back from a loss…

73. Heatfic PWP set during Geno’s rookie year when he barely speaks any English. Up to you which one is in heat—I just like the idea of Sid and Geno trying awkwardly to communicate & then not really needing to once instinct takes over.

74. Beauty and the beats/ or some kind of monster au. Geno is saved by Beast!Sid and nursed back to health in his castle. By the end Geno is as in love with the monster as he is with Sid's other self. This could be any dynamic combination.

75. Sid’s concussion messing up his alpha or omega cycle, or maybe delaying him from differentiating. Everyone calls him a late bloomer, which Sid doesn’t care about except when he sometimes sees Geno post heat/rut and feels confusing stuff

76. ABO specific sex toys: training knots for omega's, dilators for alphas and betas who want to sleep with other alphas, knotting flashlights, double headed dildos for omega/omega pairs? The list goes on! The only limit is your imagination.

77. Geno - omega who's never gone into heat. Maybe he never will. Despite the pessimism of his younger years, this has turned out to fine, because he and Sid have an excellent and well-established sex life regardless, and SID's heats are pretty great for both of them.

78. Nontraditional abo dynamic frat au: Either with alphas, betas, and omegas all in the same house or maybe separate different fraternities? It could be two competing alpha's from different frat houses? or maybe a beta at an omega house party feeling *very overwhelmed*

79. Geno breaks up after bonding with someone. It’s sudden and it happens mid-season and he can’t go home to lick his wounds so instead his bond-withdrawal becomes a team issue. The trainers and medics all have opinions and advice, but it’s Sid who gets him through the worst of it.

80. Omega Sid is wedded to foreign Prince Alpha Geno because male Omegas are rare and a 'sign to God'. The marriage is a sign of goodwill from the people of Sid's kingdom, he's a low noble but his Omega status makes him more worthy. They meet for the first time in front of the altar

81. Omega Sid is ‘President’ of the NHL omega groupchat/association, Sid and Seguin have a friendship forged through both declaring they “dont need no Alpha!” But cant stop having ‘issues’ with their closest Alpha on their teams. Sid-Seguin gossipy omega friendship as they explore life getting closer to alphas (Geno, Benn)

82. Beta Sid's the king of locker room talk and all the rowdy shenanigans that go on there. He flirts with everyone shamelessly and Geno has no idea how he's supposed to tell if Sid's being serious or not when he tells Geno to "take a picture, it will last longer" or something to that degree. (He really wants Sid to be serious).

83. Age difference Coach Sid/ Rookie Geno au. Geno needs to get bonded to be allowed to travel overseas and play for the Penguins. Sid agrees to be his alpha without really thinking about it until Geno shows up wide-eyed and perky at his front door and things just derail from there. (and by derail I mean office sex at the arena.)

84. Sid is an Omega but pretends to be a suppressed alpha as omegas are considered special and rare, almost local celebrities unto themselves, plus most wouldnt want to see an Omega risking injury playing professional sport. The presence of an ideal Alpha in Geno is making it harder and harder to hide his omega side and instincts.

85. After the NHL All Star Game, alpha Sid ends up with omega Geno’s gear bag. Sid doesn’t realize the mix-up until he gets home. When he opens the bag, he instantly recognizes the smell of omega arousal, and a couple of things become clear: Geno was getting hot while playing in the ASG, and Sid has unfettered, private access to Geno’s scent.

86. Pirates of the Caribbean/Black Sails au—Zhenya is a wealthy young omega hostage on pirate Sid's ship. In the end Sid can’t follow through and hand Zhenya over to the people who want him in exchange for gold. (or maybe Zhenya offers knowledge of something better for them to steal in order to save himself and they fall in love during the adventure)

87. Someone tried to take advantage of Sid while in heat/rut; it’s something that Geno hears whispers of when he is a rookie, but no one talks about it and Geno doesn’t have a nearly good enough grasp on English to try. He just stays later to practice with Sid and sits next to him at clubs and uses his body to block people when they try to touch Sid.

88. After years of dancing around their feelings, AlphaGeno and OmegaSid start ‘hooking up’ and then accidentally bond in The Playoffs bubble. This is a problem because newly bonded omegas tend to become bratty and act out in many ways and try to test their alpha, sometimes taunting other alphas to see if their own alpha will come defend them. Chaos on and off the ice ensues.

89. Werewolf/abo au: an unsuspecting Geno (omega or beta) comes across Alpha Sid's pack (maybe on a full moon run or Sid helps him with car troubles in a snow storm or maybe Geno visits Sid's pack after moving to the area as a gesture of good will.) Either way, Sid knows as soon as he sees Geno that he wants him for his bond mate, and will do whatever it takes to get him to agree.

90. Geno scent marking Sid; maybe they’re not bonded or in a relationship but Sid is *his*; his captain, his friend, the person who laughs at Geno’s jokes and exchanges knowing looks with Geno whenever one of their teammates does something dumb. It’s possessive and technically rude, but whatever. Sid likes it, Geno argues when someone (Flower, probably) tries to call him out for it.

91. Rookie Geno is ultra-competitive about everything from who goes last out of the locker room to how many eggs he can eat in a minute. Everyone sees it as Geno locking horns with Sid, competing as young alphas do. Only, Sid doesn’t seem offended or annoyed. If anything, he seems delighted and more than a little turned on. (Bonus points if everybody is wrong about one of them being an alpha).

92. Alpha sid being possessive and jealous over oblivious omega geno and maybe getting into a fight (throw in some alpha ovi shipping these idiots but also teasing sid about his and geno’s past hookups because he might be onboard the Sid geno train but he’s also a sassy bitch about it) bonus if it also has backy/ovi (if we squint not here to take the spotlight away from the two headed monster)

93. Mail Order Alpha AU: To Play in the KHL Omega Geno needs to be bonded. Metallurge team management offers him many options for Russian suitors, but Geno being Geno doesn’t like being told what to do. Instead of accepting any of those, he finds himself a nice Canadian alpha on "mail order bride" message boards. Bonus points for slightly awkward but also hot “bonding night scene” and Sid charming Geno's family with his broken Russian.

94. Sid never joins in with any of the rowdy locker room talk about hook ups/sex/knots/heats/ruts. Some of the guys joke it’s because Sid’s a virgin or frigid. Geno knows that isn’t true, because they hooked up one time when they were rookies. In retrospect he thinks it was probably Sid’s first time, and he knows he messed it up because instead of talking to Sid and seeing if they had anything real, Geno got back together with Oksana. It’s been years since then, and he and Sid are friends, but sometimes Geno wonder’s ‘what if...’

95. Geno broke an Alpha/Omega bond when he escaped from Russia to come to the NHL. He promised himself he’d never bond with anyone else ever again. He’d just have fun. And he is having fun fucking around. He was never allowed to do that at home. He probably shouldn’t be doing it in the west because he’s getting a reputation but he doesn’t care. He’s free and no one can tell him what to do. It’s his life and his choices and he’s never going to bond with anyone ever again. Only without noticing he finds himself falling for his best friend, Sidney.

96. nesting!! it can be because one of them is pregnant, or something bond/hormone related, or just a pre-heat behavior, but i love fics where the omega partner is secretly stealing the other one's clothes and small personal belongings to make a nice safe nest/den in a closet or spare room or even a trainer's room at the rink. i especially love this trope if the nesting partner is a little embarrassed or evasive about it, lol. my heart says it's sid who's building a nest out of geno's things (and being a little squirrely about it trying to keep it secret) but i think an omega!geno version would also be delightful.

97. Demisexual!Sid in an a/b/o world where designation/romance/sex has never been a big deal to him. He’s never understood his teammates stories of losing their minds with heat lust, or falling in love at first scent or losing days in bed with someone riding out their heat/rut or anything like that. Most people tell him, he’ll understand one day when the right alpha/omega/beta comes along or question if something is wrong with his designation/him. Geno never does. For the longest time Geno is one of the few friends who doesn’t think anything is wrong with him. But the problem with friends is sometimes Sid falls for them.

98. I'd love to read an a/b/o fic involving an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe they're in some kind of casual fwb arrangement off and on for years, or maybe they just hooked up the one time and had tacitly agreed to never speak of it again. I'd read pretty much any take on this prompt -- an Obvious Child-esque version where they decide to have an abortion but also realize they have feelings for each other; a version where they decide to have a baby but both think the other just wants to be friends and co-parents (not romantically involved); a version where the pregnancy forces them to reckon with their true feelings for each other... really, anything goes!

99. Loser's sacrifice / victor's prize fic, version 1: Geno wasn't drafted by the Pens, and he and Sid have spent their whole careers as rival captains (you can decide if it's a no-love-lost rivalry or just mutual respect for each other or a hatesex chemistry type dynamic). The Pens lose to Sid's team, and Sid offers himself to Geno as the victor's prize. (I'd read any version of this, but I'd especially love an alpha!Geno / omega!Sid fic where Sid's the only omega captain in a predominantly alpha league -- and this creates some weird tensions, because the sacrifice is supposed to be about the humiliation of an alpha having to submit to another alpha. Maybe Sid doesn't usually accept or offer sacrifice (someone else on the team does it for him).

100. Loser's sacrifice / victor's prize fic, version 2: Sid and Geno are together (you can decide how serious it is). After a bad loss one night, Sid offers himself as the sacrifice to the opposing team (or maybe just to their captain). Geno is insanely jealous and territorial about it and pretends to be sulky/angry, but in the days after he can't stop furtively jacking off thinking about it. Sid figures it out eventually, and somehow it becomes a thing for them. Sid starts regularly offering himself as sacrifice but always comes to Geno immediately afterwards, smelling of the opposing captain/team, so Geno can fuck someone else's come out of him while Sid tells him everything the team did to him.

101. I've been thinking about an a/o universe where non-alpha/omega pairings are still socially stigmatized, but there's an active scent-masking party/club scene, where people take blockers and go to hook up with other people without knowing what their dynamic is. Maybe the clubs themselves are a little taboo -- sort of like gay bathhouses in the '70s or private BDSM clubs -- so it's mostly people who are in the know, and there's a general understanding that you don't acknowledge people you meet there if you encounter them out in the world. I'd love an alpha/alpha fic set in this verse - could be a non-hockey AU where Sid and Geno meet at one of these clubs, or a canon fic where they don't realize the other is into alphas until they're out of town on a road trip and they run into each other at one of these clubs.

102. There are no omegas in the NHL—at least as far as anyone knows. Sid’s been taking illegal scent-blockers/suppressants and passing as a beta since he presented as an omega as a teen. The only people who know the truth are his parents, his agent, and Jack Johnson (who helped make excuses for Sid at SSM during his first heat). Sid doesn’t intend to reveal his secondary gender until his retirement—once he’s won a Cup or three and gold for Canada and proven decisively that omegas can play at the highest levels. Except something happens (his supply of blockers is interrupted, or he has a breakthrough heat, or something) and Geno finds out. I’d especially love it if this was early in their NHL careers, before they knew/trusted each other and were able to communicate well, but I’d definitely also read a fic where Geno finds out many years into their friendship, and has to grapple with how much Sid’s hidden from him.

103. old timey pirate AU! sid’s a naval officer who’s clawed his way up the ranks despite significant prejudice against omegas. he’s achieved his dream of captaining a ship, but his life is a lonely one, in part because he can’t let himself be vulnerable with anyone (in case they use it against him to challenge his leadership). the only bright spot in his life is the years-long cat-and-mouse game he’s been playing with evgeni malkin, a notorious russian pirate captain who‘s managed to evade arrest for years, often by tricking the navy or managing to cleverly conceal his crew’s stolen loot when their ship is boarded by the Navy. Geno’s an alpha, but unlike Sid’s fellow officers, he’s always treated Sid with the utmost respect—even if he also gleefully delights in tricking Sid’s men and repeatedly evading capture. in fact, after years of meeting in various port towns and at sea, Geno seems to consider Sid a friend. (Sid knows Geno finds him attractive, too, and has made it clear—always teasingly, never in a pushy or aggressive way—that he’s available, should Sid ever want to go to bed with an alpha.) up to you what the plot is, but I’d love something where Geno’s luck finally runs out, and Sid’s the one who‘s tasked with bringing him back to shore to be tried (and most likely hanged) for piracy. make Sid choose between his honor + love of rules and his unacknowledged feelings for geno!!

#sidgeno #sidgenoabofest

43 notes · View notes

halothenthehorns · 4 years ago

Text

TLTNL- GRAWP

"What I don't understand," Remus said in exasperation, "is how Voldemort was even in Nagini's mind? What on earth kind of magic allows that!"

It had taken them ages for the Marauders to finally stop talking about the twins epic leave of Hogwarts, but finally as James made to grab for the book again, Remus chose now to break in with something he'd been thinking on all morning. He glanced anxiously at Harry, and though he paled and flinched again at the reminder, he waved Remus on with a curious look in place.

"We've no more idea than how he's even alive," Sirius sighed, also glancing at Harry nervously, though in fear for what was happening to his pup, he was sure Harry could handle this conversation so long as he had them around.

"I was wondering if it was some unprecedented Parseltongue ability." Remus offered. "Nagini was telling Voldemort what happened in such detail, Voldemort was visualizing the whole thing, and Harry just happened to be present while that was happening. Just because Snape said it happened one way doesn't mean there aren't other options."

"I mean, I guess it could have happened that way," Lily frowned as she thought that through. "He'd be learning about this information and feeling the emotions in the moment, so it still counts-"

"but doesn't explain Harry's insisting fear he felt he had fangs for a moment," James disagreed.

"Harry still could have just been projecting what Voldemort was visualizing during Nagini's attack," Sirius disagreed.

"None of that explains Dumbledore's sudden no contact with Harry," Lily shot down. "This must be something, more. I can't think how else to put it, but something new must have happened over the summer, some ability Voldemort seems to have. It clearly does involve Harry in some way, his mind and connection at least, that has Dumbledore avoiding Harry."

"That doesn't track with everything else though," James said in exasperation. "Why allow Harry to even know about the Order if he really thought Harry knowing anything was dangerous?"

"He hasn't let me know much of anything," Harry shot back. He hated having to think about all this again, but it somehow felt better as well. He was no longer in the heat of the memory, being forced to listen to the idea he was turning into Voldemort. Now he instead got to hear them push around theories and ideas, and that would always feel more bearable, especially when he could feel they were close.

James didn't blame Moony for the change of subject, that had probably been on his mind since the part before Snape's memory had turned their world in a new direction, and it was a miracle he hadn't butted in with this by now. Nonetheless he beckoned to Harry, "why don't we do something nice for your mum, we'll do lunch."

Harry didn't hesitate in following him out, Lily watching them with a light frown. She didn't think Harry felt any ill will for James anymore, but clearly James had more to say. So she forced herself to remain in her seat rather than follow.

When James had said, 'do lunch,' he actually just rapped a pot on the stove to start heating leftovers, but it was the thought that counted, right? Instead he watched as Harry uneasily set the table. When both tasks were done, lunch was ready, and still neither had said a word, James finally forced himself to just spit out what he'd been chewing on this whole time.

"I am sorry."

Harry looked around in surprise, that was usually his line.

James watched Harry steadily for a reaction, hoping his continuing to bring this up wouldn't change whatever comfort Harry had taken in from Sirius, but he couldn't let this one drop without saying his piece either. "Not for that time," he clarified, "I'll never let anyone talk to Lily like that, but I am sorry I was that way, and it pushed Snape into saying that. I'm sorry if what I did to him really did push him into being a Death Eater, when I'd spent the past five years of my life showing Sirius that would never happen to him despite his family. I'm sorry for the way Snape treats you, that's entirely my fault."

Harry rested his hand on the back of a chair like he needed the support. The realizations still hit sometimes, that he was speaking to James instead of wishing it like he'd spent all his life doing, and now more than ever after such a harrowing blow to his memory was returned. "I forgave you," he told him with confidence. "It's like Lupin said, you were only fifteen. If you guys had just seen shots of my memory, me shouting at my friends for nothing, Hermione punching Malfoy, Ron's anger at me before the First Task; you'd all be thinking the worst as well. I wish I'd gotten to know more about you, but Mum's right. You changed," Harry stopped there. He wanted to say Snape hadn't, that he was still a bitter fifteen year old treating Harry like dirt because of what James had once done, but the words wouldn't fully come to him either. Snape was still a vindictive arse, but this memory had really charged something in him, leaving him very confused about his full memories to the man.

James didn't seem to notice that part though, as he roughly pulled Harry into a hug. The absolute fear Harry could have actually hated him hadn't really been felt until it was gone.

Harry returned the affection with a natural ease he never would have believed.

He also broke the hug first, saying, "I'm glad this one should be almost over, I've had a bad feeling about it from the start and I really just want to be done with this year."

James agreed at once, though Harry felt like he hadn't made himself plain enough about that bad feeling considering he was still smiling.

At least lunch was a calm affair, Lily saying they should be able to finish this book by dinner if they didn't have any more long dramatic interruptions which she tried to blame entirely on Sirius.

Sirius informed her she did this too much, but took the blame with grace by spending the rest of lunch refusing to talk about anything else by discussing with the boys anything and everything he could about Quidditch.

James and Lily managed to slip away for a few minutes by themselves to care for the baby, and James happily showed Lily a broom design made from redwood. Even if that tree wasn't native to their land, he'd import it just for his Lily flower.

It didn't actually take that much effort though to get them all back in seats, but they'd switched it up just a bit so now Harry was in between James and Sirius again simply to prove he had no ill will towards either of them. Remus took the seat next to Lily and muttered for her alone while James began looking for his place, "any bets on how long before the next catastrophe takes place in here?"

"I'd rather just pretend there's not going to be one," Lily huffed.

"Joys of being a pessimist, either you expect the worst, or you're pleasantly surprised to be wrong," Remus shrugged without remorse.

"That sounded more like the optimistic view on pessimism," Lily rolled her eyes while James began with a genuine smile again.

The story of Fred and George's was retold so often over the next few days that Harry could tell it would soon become the stuff of Hogwarts legend:

"I'm so proud!" Sirius squealed. "We've forever been upstaged by Weasley's and I'm not even upset!"

"I can hardly believe what they did, the mark they left," James couldn't stop smiling for something so momentous as the twins putting themselves into Hogwarts history like that.

For just a moment as Harry watched them react so proudly to this, he got just a touch jealous. They'd made it clear they were proud of him too, but he'd certainly never felt like he'd done anything Marauder worthy like the twins just had. Then he wondered if this was how Ron felt all the time, towards his own brothers, to his own best friend?

it stretched into the two becoming their own phrase, students could now be heard saying if they suffered anymore classes they'd pull a Weasley.

"I can't believe we were so easily replaced with our infamy," Sirius sighed.

"I think hiding our symbol in the Shrieking Shack is still good enough," Remus shrugged, that was where they spent more time than even their dormitory.

"Yeah," James grudgingly agreed, "guess I'm just jealous. If it wasn't for Lily, I'd feel like I wasted my last year at school not doing something as spectacular before I left."

Lily blushed faintly James had actually admitted aloud he'd cooled himself down just for her.

Fred and George had made sure nobody was likely to forget them too soon.

"Oh that's impossible," Sirius said firmly.

For one thing, they hadn't a clue how to remove the swamp filled corridor.

Then James promptly burst out with laughter as he kept envisioning the thing, the others joining in with delight. They hadn't thought the twins could get better and they just kept being proven wrong.

Umbridge and Filch had been seen trying all manner of things to be rid of it, but with nothing working, Filch was given the task of ferrying people across when need be, who was not at all pleased with this.

Lily gave a righteous laugh, still wanting to punt him from the school after what he'd so wanted to do to the twins, to any student. This was far more what he deserved.

Harry was certain that competent teachers could have removed the swamp in an instant,

"Well I do agree," Lily nodded, her mind boggling a bit at this stretch of magic, "I'd like to ask them how. What kind of magic even was that, an ever lasting potion, a transfiguration spell for the corridor?"

"I want to ask the twins!" Sirius whined. "Curse them not having done this yet."

Remus gave him a look for that comment even as he did agree.

but just as in the case of the fireworks, they seemed to prefer to watch Umbridge struggle.

"The appropriate response," Remus agreed.

Umbridge's door had to be replaced for the two broom shaped holes in it, and rumor now had it Harry's Firebolt was being kept in the dungeon with a security troll to prevent him doing the same.

"I actually believe that," Sirius groaned miserably.

"I wish you'd summoned it to you when they had," James sighed. "Even if you didn't fly off and join them, you'd find a way to keep it out of her webbed fingers."

"I was a little stunned at the moment," Harry protested, and no one argued the point, as they would have been as well.

Her troubles were still only just beginning.

Inspired by the twins, half the population of the school was now vying for the newly vacant position of Troublemakers-in-Chief.

"At some point the title could rest in peace," Lily said without a hope it would happen.

"My fingers are crossed for Ginny now," Sirius grinned, clearly the lot of them ignoring her, "she's got potential."

"What about that one lad always friends with the twins," Remus offered. "He wasn't mentioned going with them, but I'm sure he'd still miss them enough to keep up their legacy one more year."

"Guess it's too much to ask you tried?" James asked of Harry, who was already shaking his head in answer even with a smirk in place for remembering the chaos so constantly erupting in corridors for all this.

Such occurrences of this involved a niffler somehow getting into Umbridge's office and trying to chew off her rings.

"That poor Niffler," Remus said in concern.

"I saw Hagrid nursing it that afternoon," Harry promised.

As well as Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were dropped so frequently in the corridors that the Bubble-Head Charm became a new trend,

"I'm glad that spell's gotten some popularity," James grinned even remembering the ire of not knowing about it when it would have come in handy.

even though it gave them all the peculiar appearance of wearing upside-down goldfish bowls on their heads.

"Well, whoever said fashion isn't functional clearly never met that trend setter," Lily giggled.

When he wasn't attending tasks, Filch was prowling the corridors with a horsewhip in hand, desperate to catch someone to use it on, but the problem was there were so many around he had no clue which way to turn.

Harry watched all of them shake their heads in disgust for that, Lily even starting to get a nervous tick picturing some poor innocent kid ending up on the wrong side of him, so soothed, "don't worry, as far as I know, no one actually did get a single hit. If ever it looked like he'd pinned down someone long enough, kids you'd never believe did something to distract him so others could run away. I saw this Slytherin fourth year knock over a statue on purpose after Filch was screaming at a little Hufflepuff girl for accidentally tripping over one and 'destroying school property.'"

As if they hadn't enough reason to smile already, that gave them all yet more warmth for this display.

The Inquisitorial Squad was trying to help, but odd things kept happening to the members. Warrington was submitted to the hospital wing for his skin being covered in something akin to burnt cornflakes,

"I feel like someone got a hold of more wartcap powder," Sirius smirked.

and Pansy missed all her lessons the following day as she had sprouted antlers.

James in particular looked pleased with this bit of magic, one of his personal favorite tricks when people asked why he was called Prongs was to grow antlers on others for answer and claim that as his signature spell.

It also became clear just how many Skiving Snackboxes Fred and George had sold in their time, as soon every one of Umbridge's classes were fainting, vomiting, high with fevers, or had blood pouring endlessly from their noses, claiming to have Umbridge-itis.

"A deadly disease I would not wish upon my worst enemy," Remus kept grinning wider every second.

"I don't know, what do you think would happen if we put Voldemort and Umbridge in the same room?" Sirius couldn't help but ask.

"Either they'll kill each other-" Lily said hopefully.

"Or she'll have a new master to follow and somehow become even more terrifying," James shivered. "I still can't believe she's not actually a Death Eater!"

After putting four successive classes in detention and failing to discover their secret,

Harry sighed heavily for that one, rubbing at the back of his hand in remembrance. Madam Pomfrey had ordered whole stocks of Essence of Murtlap and had started handing them out without question, but none of that made it feel better to see others suffering what he had.

she was forced to let the droves of students leave.

In all their efforts though, no student had come close to the master of chaos, Peeves, who seemed to have taken Fred's words to heart.

James looked as if he'd found a treasure map, ticking off each item Peeves did like a new nugget of gold!

In a constant state of cackling, he was never seen without anymore; bursting through walls to scare anyone on the other side, knocking over whatever was upright, regularly shutting Mrs. Norris into anything available, smashing anything remotely breakable, juggling lit candles, flooding whole hallways, dropping tarantulas into the Great Hall during meals,

"I'll bet Ron loved that one," Remus got out in between James' breathless retelling.

and whenever he fancied a break, spent hours at a time floating along after Umbridge and blowing loud raspberries every time she spoke.

"I am actually impressed," Lily said faintly. "I never thought he could get worse!"

None of the staff but Filch seemed to be stirring themselves to help her.

"I'd be worried if they were," James wheezed, acting so giddy upon reading such massive mayhem he was likely to pass out soon. Of all the regimes going on inside their school, all the hateful new being passed around his son, finally some good was being the cause of it all!

In exact opposite it seemed, as Harry distinctly saw McGonagall pass by Peeves trying to unscrew a chandelier, and she told him it worked the other way.

Sirius fist pumped the air in triumph, all of them red faced from laughter and wishing McGonagall was here already so they could give her a hug in congratulations.

To cap matters, Montague had still not recovered from his sojourn in the toilet;

Sirius managed an extra hard laugh for that swift remembrance.

and his parents had been summoned to the school, the trio watching their arrival on the front lawn through their Charms class.

Hermione was worried they should say something about what happened to him, if it might help Madam Pomfrey cure him.

"Nah," the three Marauders said at once, while Harry rubbed at his temple in some empathy for Montague and Lily just shook her head at them.

Then they froze, and looked to Harry like any hint of no remorse upon another student would set him back into thinking the worst of them again. He however only considered this like he did all their passing comments, just them mouthing off. Even if they did mean it, he still couldn't really care, Madam Pomfrey had fixed worse injuries without anyone's help.

Ron said no at once, he'd be fine.

Harry agreeing it only caused more problems for Umbridge.

"This is true, it's not a good mark for the woman parents have to come up to the school," James smirked.

Not at all distracted, the two tried to tap their teacups and have legs grow from them. The spell was supposed to be like Hermione's, who's had grown four strong willow sticks and was trotting around happily.* Instead, Harry's grew such tiny stumps they didn't even bend enough to bring his cup off the desk, and Ron's were so flimsy the cup stood for only a second before falling and cracking in half.

Hermione repaired Ron's cup for him while still speaking if Montague was permanently injured?

Remus actually considered that for a second, again remembering the half broken cabinet and genuinely wondering if something had gone permanently wrong there.

Harry suddenly felt a heavy twitch cross his mind, some dire warning he should have paid more attention to this, because someone had...but he tried to shake that off and told, "I feel like he recovered." For some reason though, this only made him feel worse, and they easily let the matter drop, all confident Pomfrey could fix this.

Ron insisted no one cared, this was only a good thing for their already slim chances at the Quidditch Cup. If Hermione wanted someone to worry about, let it be him.

"Oh Ron, the spell's not that hard," Lily giggled, Flitwick would probably just assign them more homework practice.

While putting his finger under his cup to help support its weight, he told them he was expecting a howler any day now when it got through Umbridge's screening process.

"Why?" Sirius said slowly.

"If I'd guessed, it would have been back when the DA had been outed, but it's been far too long, he hasn't done anything more recently," James agreed curiously.

Hermione tried to ask why, but Ron was already explaining his mum was going to blame him for not stopping the twins leaving. He should have grabbed their broom tails or something to stop them, this was somehow going to be all his fault.

"Oh, she wouldn't," Lily tried to say even if her tone showed no signs of meaning it.

"I really can't see even Molly doing this one," Sirius shook his head. "I don't remember her ever saying to go after the twins once he got his Prefect badge. She's got a bad habit of comparing the youngest to the elders, but never seems to have expected the younger set to tell the elder ones off."

Harry at least fervently hoped so, Ron most certainly did not deserve that one when Harry was their enabler in all of this.

Hermione said if she did, it would be entirely unfair, he couldn't have done anything.

Harry grinned for Hermione again, thankful that finally she seemed to be on their side again in these arguments.

She was confident Molly wouldn't, clearly they had been planning this anyways if they had premise in Diagon Alley.

Ron said that was something odd though, as he wrapped his teacup to try the spell again, but he'd hit it so hard it only fell again.

"I don't think that's helping," Lily randomly giggled.

Where had they gotten the gold for that? Their mum was going to want to know.

"Did they never ask you what you did with your Triwizard Winnings?" James asked. He knew Harry had never told them, but his friends had never brought it up?

"I guess they just assumed I shoved it into my vault," Harry shrugged.

Hermione agreed that had occurred to her too, ignoring her own cup that was going in circles around Harry's cup who still hadn't tried moving with its stubby legs.

"This is just getting insulting," Lily couldn't stop giggling even while she said it.

She'd been wondering if they'd been doing work for Mundungus to get that kind of money.

"That wouldn't have been a bad guess," Remus agreed.

Harry said they hadn't at once.

"You finally going to tell them, because otherwise that was idiotic," Sirius scolded.

"I wasn't going to have their family thinking they'd done something illegal," Harry sighed. "I'd far rather Mrs. Weasley hate me than think something like that of anymore of her children."

"She's not going to hate you," James at once said with conviction. "The only thing she might be is flustered at the generosity, but she'll just have to get over that."

They asked how Harry would know that, and he only hesitated a moment before finally telling why.

Hermione was so surprised, her cup took a dive off the desk and neither of them noticed.

"Timing," Lily gave the loudest snicker of all.

Ron stated this was excellent, at once asking if he could tell his mum this was all Harry's fault!

Sirius burst out with laughter once again, James nodding along and agreeing, "Ron's priorities."

Harry agreed he'd better, especially if she was going to start thinking her sons had stolen cauldrons.

"I can see why you wanted to wait," Remus agreed, "now they're really going and she can't guilt them into giving it back."

Hermione said nothing at all for the rest of the lesson, but Harry had a shrewd suspicion that her self-restraint was bound to crack before long.

They all sighed, not particularly wanting to hear another Hermione lecture about what Harry had done stupidly lately.

Sure enough, once they were out in the quad in the weak May light, she turned to him with a determined look on her face, so Harry interrupted before she could start.

"Has that ever helped?" Sirius asked in surprise.

"Nope, but it was worth a shot after the last time she spent a whole day on it," Harry sighed.

He told her not to even start, it was over and done with, and to save her breath because he did not regret doing this for them.

Hermione sounded hurt when she said she wasn't going to say anything about that.

"Maybe if she wasn't nagging you all the time, she wouldn't be so offended when you try to stop her doing it," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh stop," Harry cut them off with a sigh. "Hermione's a bit much, I know that better than anyone, but lay off her for a bit, I jumped the wrong conclusion that time."

They gave in with a muttered apology.

Ron snorted disbelievingly and Hermione threw him a very dirty look.

"Can't say that wasn't deserved though," Remus muttered.

She insisted she wasn't, she'd wanted to ask him when he was going to ask Snape for more Occlumency lessons

"Why!" Sirius demanded. "He's been tortured enough this year!"

Once Fred and George's dramatic departure had evaporated their talk, the two had wanted to know what Harry had gone to talk to Sirius about. Still failing to explain the initial reason, Harry instead told them it had been to do with Snape stopping his lessons and Sirius wanted him to keep going with them.

James crinkled his nose at this, saying, "there are far too many holes in that, I'm not surprised Hermione's trying to get the real story."

"That's still not why she was having a go at me," Harry groaned.

He had regretted this ever since, as Hermione had then chosen to bring the subject up again when Harry least expected it.

"Ah, well honestly this one's your own fault, I could have told you not to bring this back up with her," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Especially as you still have no intentions of doing it," Remus shook his head, Harry's expression made that abundantly clear, and he felt quite sore his warning had so easily been brushed off by Harry.

Hermione snapped at him he couldn't pretend like they weren't needed, Ron had said he'd been muttering in his sleep again.

Harry gave Ron a furious look, who had the grace to be ashamed.

"I don't know, I can see the good of that one," Lily sighed as she saw some snippy comment on Sirius' lips. "He's worried about his friend, not on the same level as Hermione, but both recognize far more than you seem to this shouldn't be entertained," she finished with a look at Harry, who also had the grace to look ashamed for never trying harder at this. He wasn't sure if it was his mother's guilt trip, or something far more unspeakable that was causing him to feel this so heavily...

Ron apologetically said for both it had only been a bit, he'd been muttering about reaching further.

Harry lied he'd been dreaming of Quidditch, he wanted Ron to reach out just a bit further for the Quaffle.

Ron's ears went red, while Harry didn't feel a drop of remorse for lying.

"Brutal," Sirius laughed in surprise.

"But deserved," James sighed.

He had in fact again dreamed all the way up to the room full of glass spun orbs, but again woken up feeling he'd been moments away from the true want.

James stopped in alarm at the noise Harry made, all of them looking to him with deep concern as he groaned with misery, head in his hands again, breathing so heavily they could have been his last breaths.

"Harry!" James swiftly put the book aside at such an alarming reaction that somehow got worse each time this was brought up. "Harry, calm down! You're going to be fine, whatever is in there, you are going to be fine!"

This had no effect on making him better, as that was not what was gripping him so tight he couldn't breath. It wasn't his safety he so feared.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay," Sirius insisted, looking frantically to Lily or Remus to help, but they had no more clue what left him in such a mess. "Erm, what if I-" his mind flagged desperately for something to distract Harry with, "show you how we created the Marauders Map!"

"What?" Harry looked up in genuine surprise, the pain from his skull not yet fully subsiding which must explain the tears trickling out, but he wiped furiously at them to keep his attention on Sirius.

"Yeah," he confirmed at once. "Something to look forward to!"

James agreed at once, saying, "it took me a few days to create it, but it won't take near as long to recreate it. I've been wanting to show Lily anyways, you'll both get a kick out it."

Harry gave a slow nod, taking easier breaths now as he kept this promise tight inside him. Whatever horrid thing had happened in his past to cause this feeling, they were right, he had something he could cling to now as a promise he wouldn't have to relive his memory long.

James waited an extra moment to make sure Harry wasn't going to set himself into a full blown panic attack before gingerly picking the book back up, almost afraid of what else it was going to do to his son if this topic didn't change soon.

Hermione inquired then that he was still trying with his Occlumency?

Harry lied and said he was, but the truth was he was curious about all this and wanted the dreams to keep going.

Harry's whole center shook, he looked very much like he would collapse in a fit in moments. Clearly what he'd been thinking at fifteen, the exact opposite was trying to run through his mind now, and the two together were wreaking havoc inside of him.

James reached over again, grasping his shoulder firmly until he fought back for control, still waving him to go on adamantly for this to just be over with.

The problem was, with less than a month till exams, his mind usually seemed much more focused on stupid dreams.

"First you were complaining about them, now you want them and you're not getting enough of them," Remus tried to get a rise out of Harry instead of watching him tear himself apart for something he couldn't yet understand. "You never can seem to make up your mind eh?"

Harry offered him a flimsy smile that was as weak as the toddler upstairs.

He also suspected the more Hermioneish part of his mind was guilting him into waking up before the journey's end.

"Hermione doesn't seem so bad now she's right," James offered as Harry kept rubbing at his temples.

Sirius gave Remus a sympathetic look as well which Moony easily grasped. It wasn't just him being ignored, Harry wasn't taking advice from anyone about this.

Something new to distract him was the final match of the Quidditch season, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, which was to take place on the last weekend of May. Although Slytherin had been narrowly defeated by Hufflepuff in their last match,

"Wow, where's my description of that match!" Sirius yelped, grasping at any pleasant conversation, and this was an easy one.

"Nothing too memorable happened," Harry shrugged. "Malfoy actually caught the Snitch, for once, but he took Krum's way out. Hufflepuff was winning on points, Montague hadn't come back yet and the appointed Slytherin was a right idiot, I don't know what they were doing during training but it wasn't practicing."

"As much as they deserve," James cheered, wriggling in pleasure even as he kept a close eye on Harry to make sure he really was trying to put mention of that Department past him.

Gryffindor did not yet dare for a victory, though no one said it to him, because of Ron's goalkeeping ability.

Ron took his own outlook on the morning of, telling them at least he couldn't get any worse.

"There's the bright side," Lily snickered in surprise, while James just looked bemused at this. Better than constantly ragging on himself he supposed.

As Harry and Hermione were shuffling into the crowd, Hermione mentioned she suspected this game might just go better because Fred and George weren't around, they never helped his confidence.

"I can see that," Remus said fairly.

"They mocked him from time to time," Sirius disagreed, "but they were never so bad I think it damaged Ron any more than that horrid song. I don't think they'll make a real difference to him."

"Least Angelina already had their replacements," James grumbled, still wishing it was Harry on that pitch rather than Ginny, he was sick of reading side line events, he wanted to be back in the air!

Luna Lovegood overtook them with what appeared to be a live eagle perched on top of her head.

The boys burst out in surprised laughter Luna had indeed gone further with that idea!

It was as Harry watched this though, not at all mean spirited but that recent memory still with him, that the expression they'd first carried upon hearing of her finally clicked as he turned sharply to them. "Would you lot have done all that to Luna?"

James' automatic response wanted to be no, but he still considered the question for a moment before saying slowly, "ah, well, we certainly would have liked to have words with her, she's a fascinating thing."

"You would have mocked her?" Harry outright demanded with a raised brow.

Sirius blew a chunk of hair out of his face, but didn't deny, "guess it depends on how well we bothered to get to know her. We thought Remus was a right odd ball before we had a proper chat with him."

Harry saw they were still avoiding the question, as he'd honestly noticed outside their little group they didn't seem to 'converse' with much of anyone unless it was for a motive. Still though, he was just as fascinated they looked a touch ashamed even as they side stepped this. He hadn't realized his disapproval really meant so much to them.

Then the teams assembled on the edge of the field, and Hermione said her surprise she'd forgotten Cho would be playing. Harry grunted in response, he had not.

"Ex crush versus ex fan girl!" Sirius said loudly, very clearly trying not to let Harry linger on that last subject.

"Sadly I think Cho's got the better edge, she's played more games, actually wants this position," James eagerly put in.

"I wouldn't underestimate Ginny, we don't know how long Cho's been flying outside her house team, but we know Ginny's been doing it since single digits, she may well have the advantage," Remus offered insight.

Harry decided to let the Luna matter go, they'd yet to actually be doing anything wrong to her and there was no sense yelling at them for something they hadn't done wrong yet to one of his friends.

Across from them in the stands, the Slytherins were all filing in, and Harry hoped desperately they wouldn't have anymore chances to sing Weasley Is our King.

"I wasn't aware they needed an excuse, they just continued doing it because they're arse holes," Lily grumbled.

Lee Jordan, who had been very dispirited since Fred and George had left,

"That was it," Remus huffed for forgetting.

"Guess I can't blame him for not being in the mood to prank others when his mates up and did that," Sirius sighed.

was commentating as usual. As the teams zoomed out on to the pitch he named the players with something less than his usual gusto.

"I can just imagine McGonagall feeling sorry for the poor kid," James frowned sadly.

Harry watched Cho chat with Davies as the teams matched up, prepared to shake hands, and Harry found he only had a slight twinge of jealous as the two Ravenclaws smiled at each other before the captains shook hands.

"Guess that crush wasn't as gone as we thought," James looked to Harry in surprise, who only shrugged, he really didn't have much of a memory for this game, especially not Cho, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Surely even if he wasn't playing in it, he'd have a care? Maybe Ron really hadn't done any better and he'd tried to block the whole thing out, but that wasn't the right kind of disconnected feeling...

Lee began as usual, saying who had the Quaffle in what position, and Davies was already heading for Gryffindors goals, Gryffindor had a chance at making it, and- Lee swore.

"Least he hasn't lost all of his enthusiasm," Remus chuckled.

Ravenclaw had scored, and the Slytherins at once took up the chance with their song.

Harry and Hermione were distracted from what happened next by Hagrid sidling up to them, trying to remain crouched as if wanting to be out of sight, but even doubled over he was four feet taller than those next to him.

"Why's he trying to hide at all?" Lily asked in surprise. "He's been known to come to a few matches."

"Don't look at us," Remus shrugged even as he looked eagerly at James for this explanation that he had his fingers crossed in hope for.

He asked if they'd come with him, now, while everyone was watching the game.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," James gaped down at this, "but I'd actually go with him."

"If there's one thing to drag away a good Quidditch match," Sirius agreed, though finished rather threateningly, "but Hagrid had better finally be showing you what he's been up to, if it's for anything less, I'll find a way to curse that man through his skin for cutting this off."

Harry merely hummed in agreement.

Hagrid's nose was gently dripping blood. His eyes were both blackened. Harry had not seen him this close-up since his return to the school; he looked utterly woebegone.

Lily crooned loudly for the poor dear, all of them feeling a pain deep inside for what Hagrid was putting himself through. He must have a really good answer for this one!

Harry agreed without any thought.

Harry felt absolutely no regret for this decision, even as his face tightened just a bit, his innards promising this wasn't going to be a pleasant stroll.

The three got themselves out of the stands, Hagrid saying how much he appreciated them, and hoped she didn't see them leaving.

"Only one she I can think of," Lily spat, "and sadly she might have."

"She can't stop them from going off with Hagrid," Remus miserably tried to argue, already feeling it pointless.

Harry said Umbridge was surrounded by her Inquisitorial Squad like she was expecting trouble, there was a good chance she hadn't noticed them.

"Guess she understands less than I thought, which is saying something. No one would try a prank during a Quidditch game," Sirius heavily rolled his eyes.

Hagrid said that may be good for them, give them more time, as he started heading towards the Forest.

Lily began playing with a strand of hair with nerves. She knew Hagrid wasn't purposefully leading Harry to anything dangerous, but this was certainly not a pleasant beginning in her opinion, and it was nice to see the others faces showed agreement even as well used to the Forest as they were.

Hermione asked what they were doing as they went across the lawn, but in favor of answering Hagrid heard a roar go up from the crowd behind them and asked if someone else had scored.

Harry said it would be Ravenclaw again.

Harry winced heavily and they all felt the same, maybe leaving had been a good idea anyways, that wasn't fun to think about.

Hagrid was so distracted, he said this was a good thing.

"Now I know he's not thinking right," Sirius grumped.

Hermione tried to turn into Hagrid's cabin when they passed it, but Hagrid kept walking right to the edge of the trees where his crossbow was waiting.

"He must have just come back from whatever he was training," Remus realized.

"Think he thinks he's finally got it domesticated and wants to show off?" James asked, that didn't feel important enough to be dragged away from Quidditch, but then, Hagrid had different priorities.

"I still think there's something more than that going on," Lily sighed. "It's very clear Hagrid cares deeply for something new going on, just training a new best can't really mean more than his job?" She phrased it as a question though, none of them were quite sure of Hagrid's comments from before.

Harry asked why he needed that, he hadn't taken it with him when they'd seen the Thestrals.

"This new thing of his is less and less encouraging," Sirius agreed.

Hagrid said they hadn't been going in as deep, and that was before Firenze left the Forest.

"Why's that change anything?" Remus asked in surprise.

Hermione asked why that made a difference.

"Thank you Sirius!" Remus said quickly and with such a mocking gratitude you could almost believe it. "Really, just thank you so much for sharing that, I hadn't a clue I'd done it!"

"Alright, no need to get snippy," Sirius smirked.

Hagrid said the other centaurs were now very riled up. It used to be he could go wherever he liked in this Forest, they were always friendly, but not anymore.

"What's that got to do with Hagrid though?" James ruffled up his brow.

"Familiar loyalty," Sirius nodded to himself as he explained aloud. "The centaurs know Hagrid's trust in Dumbledore, they'll blame anyone associated with him right now for what he asked a Centaur to do."

"But it was Firenze's decision," Harry protested. "Why be mad at us?"

"For offering it," Remus sighed.

Harry felt a deep chill web around his mind, promising he had no want to deal with an angry centaur.

Angry didn't cover it, they were livid with Dumbledore and Firenze, probably would have kicked their fellow centaur to death if Hagrid hadn't stepped in, he'd had half the herd on him.

They all gave sympathetic noises for that, Harry even saw some traces of fear in them at the same time. He could hardly imagine the scene himself, but just the thought was giving him the creeps, it probably was terrifying thinking about all this in detail when he wasn't so distracted wondering why he may have seen it in person.

Harry was amazed Hagrid had stopped all that, and Hagrid said he certainly couldn't have just stood by. Then he added more menacingly he'd have thought Firenze would remember that before sending stupid warnings.

"I'm worried he was trying to return a favor," Lily muttered, still considering Hagrid's injuries. They weren't yet deadly, but if he kept at it, they may keep progressing.

Hermione asked if that's what Hagrid wanted their help with, the centaurs?

"Oh he'd never ask for your help with that," Remus said at once.

"And those injuries started up well before this," Lily agreed.

Hagrid simply said no, and kept plunging deeper into the shadows. Harry wasn't too worried, he'd been in the Forest a few times and followed Hagrid willingly, until he stepped off the path. Remembering vividly what had happened in his past when he did this, he tried to ask where they were going, but Hagrid didn't answer as he plunged into the more wild parts of the woods. Harry and Hermione had a hard time following, often getting caught in thickets and brambles while Hagrid walked right through them.

"I'm surprised he hasn't created a new path, as often as he seems to have headed to this thing," James said, his eyes still narrowed suspiciously to what Hagrid had added to a Forest he knew so well.

After several miles of heavy silence where even the snapping of a twig felt ominous, it occurred to him that he had never managed to get this far into the Forest without meeting some kind of creature.

The tense unease kept growing in here, like the book was pressing that darkness out and shadowing the whole room with its eerie vibe. Harry had yet had a very pleasant experience in this Forest in any sense, and even with Hagrid inviting them into this one, they could already feel it wasn't going to turn out much better.

When Hagrid came to an abrupt halt, Harry walked right into him and fell back into a thorny bush Hermione had to dig him out of.

Hagrid apologized and decided to explain back here before they got to the spot, and began by saying there was a good chance he'd be getting the sack any day.

"He did not bring them all the way out there to say that," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No," Remus agreed, "but we know he finds this more important than that, so at least we're finally getting that answer."

Hermione said he'd done well so far, what changed?

Hagrid said Umbridge thought he'd put that Niffler in her office.

"That's ridiculous," Remus scoffed at once, it was akin to him doing that, and he'd never put anything in her vicinity if he could help it.

"And when has she ever done anything remotely reasonable," Sirius' face was scrunched up for the ludicrousness of it even as he agreed.

Harry asked if it was before he'd thought about it.

"Harry," James said in exasperation, his son should know full well Hagrid would never use a creature for such a purpose.

"I know," Harry agreed with his idiotics. "Reflex question." This lot knew all about that.

Hagrid said no, but that hadn't convinced Umbridge, who associated any problems with creatures on him. He'd honestly leave now so that he wouldn't have to suffer in public like Trelawney had.

James didn't have to think about that one at all as he nodded in agreement, he could respect that.

He'd be useful to the Order out there helping Dumbledore.

"Hagrid knows where Dumbledore is?" That one caught Remus by surprise.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the Order actually does," Lily shrugged, "even if we're not sure now."

They had Grubbly-Plank to get them through their exams, his voice wobbled there and broke.

Lily felt a heartbreaking sigh pour out of her, she didn't want Hagrid to ever feel unneeded! She wanted him in her son's life just for being such a good man, no matter how he was in a class!

The problem was, he couldn't just leave without telling anyone, and he needed their help, and Ron's if he was willing.

Harry agreed at once asking what he needed them to do?

"You have such a big heart," Lily told her son, starting to feel a little teary eyed herself for what Hagrid was going through.

Harry had no response for that, he'd do anything to help his friend.

Hagrid thanked them tearfully, and led them the rest of the way.

"I thought he said he was going to explain!" Sirius said, the suspense was about to kill him. "He just stopped to tell them what was going on!"

"That's the same thing," Remus told him just to keep James paused for an extra second.

Sirius scowled at him, while James decided to ignore them anyways.

They reached a small clearing where a great mound was in front of them like a den, and all around were trees ripped up by the roots. Hagrid breathed sleeping, and Harry heard it too, a great set of lungs at work. He looked sideways at Hermione, who looked terrified.

"I don't blame her," Remus muttered, his mind flipping through all sorts of things that lived inside mounds, though as this could be something undiscovered even any of those may not be possible.

James was more in deep curiosity than anything. Hagrid was there, he had no fear Harry would come to any harm.

She asked who is he?

"Err," Lily began in confusion, sure she'd heard wrong.

Then she kept going, her voice shaking why he was here, Hagrid had said none wanted to come!

"What's, Hermione, on, about?" Sirius said slowly, he couldn't put together such a declaration with just an animal...

Harry looked to Hagrid, Hermione, and then realization struck as he looked back at the mounded earth, which in fact was moving in time with the deep breaths. It was a curved back.

"A giant!" Remus interrupted with a near shriek. "He actually brought a giant into that forest!"

James' voice had failed him, his mouth left hanging open so he couldn't have kept going even when the book had broken off. This truly was a new level of unbelievable.

"Has he lost his mind!" Sirius was so blown away by this one he wouldn't even deny the squeak in his voice. "A giant! A real, bloody, giant!"

Harry felt just as numb as the others from shock, but it was his fumbling fingers that snagged the book away to try and force this to keep going.

Hagrid agreed he hadn't exactly wanted to, but Hagrid had to bring him.

"It's his family," Lily whispered, her eyes still too wide from shock, but a flash of understanding lit them nonetheless.

"When he was at the Three Broomsticks," James recalled breathlessly.

"Oh Hagrid," Remus groaned in sudden understanding, genuine sympathy now for the man even if he couldn't find the air to really say it.

Sirius wasn't quite there yet, he was still putting his mind into the thought someday he'd walk into his Forest and a giant would be there!

Hermione demanded why!

Hagrid insisted that if he just spent a little time around here, taught him some manners, he could show everyone how harmless he was.

"Harmless!" Lily said near hysterics. "He's been beating the shit out of him for months!"

"Hasn't killed him yet though," Sirius couldn't help but point out as this started to fully form in his mind.

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" Lily demanded, her voice wasn't lowering in volume and starting to hurt their ears.

Hermione accused this was why he was always injured. Hagrid defended he didn't know his own strength.

"That I'd actually believe," Remus said slowly, some form of acceptance starting to set in as he really thought past the shock.

Hermione still couldn't believe this was why he'd taken two extra months to get home!

"Yeah, I'd say lugging a giant behind you could slow you down!" Lily's voice was still extremely high pitched, but at least she was making an attempt to lower it now.

Hermione demanded why he had, he'd have been happier with his own kind!

Hagrid insisted he'd been picked on while there for being so small.

"Small." James repeated the word slowly, shaking his head back and forth as he was stuck in the same vision as Sirius, their forays into the Forest suddenly being interrupted by a giant crashing through a nearby tree, no one wanted to know how Moony would have reacted to that. Yet thankfully Harry reading was putting a good distance from that image, and James got the book back from Harry without fuss.

Hermione repeated small in near hysterics.

"I suppose, by that description, he's either not fully grown, or a runt," Remus nodded.

"Try telling him that," Harry muttered, his mind still boggled at such a huge movement as his breathing.

Hagrid pleaded with them to understand, near tears as he told that was his brother.

"That, is a relation, that makes sense," Lily grudgingly agreed, finally her voice only just a touch more off than usual, but sympathy for Hagrid's situation was finally pushing past the shock. It was the same as always, she trusted Hagrid. If he said his brother hadn't meant to hurt anyone, then she'd just have to believe he wasn't going to turn on her son the moment he awoke.

Well, half-brother, he amended. His mum had another child when she'd left his dad, Grawp here.

"Grawp?" Harry repeated curiously.

"Never claimed giants had our kind of names," Sirius shrugged, his brow still set deep in thought, but now he was almost back to normal and could appreciate Hagrid's position at least.

Harry wasn't sure he'd heard that right, and Hagrid said that's what he thought was being said when asked for a name. He didn't know much English, though Hagrid had been teaching him. His mother had abandoned Grawp as well for being so small, so he was all alone, he was only sixteen feet.

"Poor Hagrid," Lily went new, her voice now coming out in a whisper as now she felt like Hagrid needed a hug, after she popped him over the head for giving her heart failure.

Hermione's voice was still in shrieking shock as she said how miniscule that was!

"Who knew Hermione turned sarcastic during these times," Sirius muttered, he couldn't get a joke to his mind yet.

Hagrid insisted he was being kicked around by the others.

Harry asked what Maxime had thought of this, and Hagrid said she'd realized how important this was to him, but got tired of fighting to get him back, so she'd just promised not to tell anyone.

"Good woman, that," James sighed, knowing he'd probably have done the exact same as Maxime, he wouldn't pretend he'd try to handle a giant, even a...small one.

Harry asked how he'd even gotten back here. Hagrid explained they could only travel by night and very out of the way, Grawp could cover quite a bit of distance when he wanted to, the problem was he didn't, kept wanting to go back.

Harry gave a pitiful sigh, he didn't need to ask. He'd been kicked around plenty in his youth but had always returned home because he'd always known he had nowhere else to go. Hagrid seemed to have a gift for taking wayward souls away.

Hermione buried her face in her fingers as she asked why Hagrid hadn't just let him, what was he going to do with a violent giant?

Hagrid defended violent was too strong, he took a swing now and again when he was in a mood, but he was getting better.

Harry asked what the ropes were for then?

"Well if he was wanting to go back, I suppose I can see Hagrid stopping him leaving when he wasn't around," Sirius frowned heavily.

As Harry's eyes had adjusted and made out more detail, he found ropes binding the giants ankles and around his waist.

Hagrid repeated he didn't know his own strength, and Harry now understood why there were no other creatures in the area.

"Oh yeah, I can see that," James finally nodded at something that made sense to him in his forest.

Hermione circled back to asking what Hagrid wanted them to do?

"Almost forgot about that," Remus shivered, he didn't like the idea of Harry around...Grawp with Hagrid around, now Hagrid was asking them to keep looking after a hateful giant after Hagrid was gone! How was this worse than the Skrewts?

Hagrid just said he needed looking after, while Harry and Hermione exchanged an uncomfortable look, well aware they'd already promised Hagrid they would.

"I feel as if at some point there's a line, and he crossed it," Lily said miserably, as she wouldn't feel right backing out of this either even with the circumstances. "A bruised rib to Hagrid could knock your skeleton right out of you! I'm sorry Harry, but I'm worried this one's above you!"

Harry certainly wasn't going to argue the point.

Harry did not argue the point, and they were just as relieved as they were upset for Hagrid Harry didn't seem gung ho to keep this particular promise.

Hermione asked for details, and Hagrid said nothing too big. He got his own food, birds or deer that traveled through,

James looked vaguely offended, even if he knew it to be true. It just wasn't helping his mind's eye as he kept imagining trying to run away from this thing.

Hagrid really just wanted them to come out here and talk to him, help teach him along in talking.

Harry said nothing as he kept eying Grawp, picking out details. Now he saw that his feet were the size of sleds and bare, his clothes seemed roughly stitched together. His head was like a boulder sitting right atop his shoulders with his ears sitting more on the area where his neck should be.

Remus couldn't deny a touch of fascination in him at Harry's description. He'd only heard general depictions of them as well, and though he still had no want to meet one in person, Harry's were always more vivid than usual texts.

Harry hollowly repeated Hagrid's want for them to teach him English. He now understood what Firenze's warning had meant.

"I almost wish I didn't," Sirius grumbled, in this case ignorance had been bliss.

He could just imagine the other creatures of this Forest hearing Hagrid's vain attempts to teach Grawp English.

Hagrid agreed cheerfully, even if they just came out here to chat with him, keep him around people.

Harry looked to Hermione and said it made him wish for Norbert back.

Sirius blanched for a moment, but after considering he told, "no, actually this is still marginally better. I'll take whatever form of intelligence this thing posses over that beast."

"Wow," Harry said towards him, as of now he'd still rather have it the other way.

Hagrid misunderstood, confirming that they'd do it?

"He really didn't get that was supposed to be a bad thing?" James muttered, that concept seemed lost on Hagrid quite a bit.

Harry uneasily said they'd try-

Hagrid beamed at him, saying he'd known he could count on him!

Even as Lily shook her head in exasperation for Hagrid, she was smiling just a bit as well now. She couldn't deny some part of her was happy for Hagrid finally having a bit of family back to him.

He insisted it wouldn't be much, just nip out here once a week, then he decided to introduce them.

Hermione said that wasn't necessary!

"Well yes it is," Remus corrected. "Much safer to be first seen with Hagrid, at least he knows him."

"And considers him his kidnapper," James reminded hollowly. "So I'm really torn here."

Harry still didn't want to say what was really on his mind, he didn't really have a want to see Grawp again with or without Hagrid.

Hagrid ignored them, picked up a long sturdy branch, and jabbed Grawp in the back with it.

"He just poked a giant!" James said faintly, unable to believe what he'd just said and stuck on that one for several moments before Harry gave him a commiserating pat on the shoulder that was probably supposed to be reassuring.

Grawp woke with an ear splitting roar that shook birds from trees. He got onto his knees to turn around and see who was here, and Hagrid greeted him as Grawpy, telling he'd brought company.

Harry and Hermione backpedaled as far as they could while keeping him in sight, as his face leaned in like a dull grey full moon.

All three Marauders blanched in shock at the description they weren't taking kindly too.

His features seemed misshapen, the nose of no real design, the hair looking more like moss even a dark brown, and his pupils were rather tiny and currently still cummed with sleep. He took to his feet with surprising agility and turned away.

"Don't ever underestimate speed for size," Remus agreed, James wanting to smack him for starting to sound more interested than resigned like the rest of them.

He went over to the nearest tree and plucked a birds nest up out of the higher branches, turning it upside down and pelting them with eggs like grenades below.

"I can see how riveted he was by the company," James said deadpan.

"Be pleased while it lasts," Lily grumbled, at least finding some small comfort Grawp hadn't at once started trying to take Hagrid's limb off.

Hagrid tried to keep his attention, yelling to Grawp about that trip he'd be going on, and these were his new friends who'd be coming to visit him.

"I thought he couldn't understand English quite yet," Sirius shifted uneasily.

"I can see why Hagrid does it though," Remus shrugged, "that's one of the ways you learn other languages, hearing them as well as practicing to speak them."

"Oh, so now it's a good idea," James frowned at him.

"I'm not saying Harry should do it," Remus defended, "I just understand why Hagrid is talking to him."

Grawp took no notice, Harry wasn't even sure if the giant recognized what Hagrid was doing was speech. He'd instead sized the nearest tree and began pulling on the top, the fascination on his face making it clear he did it for the simple pleasure of seeing how far he could go before it would spring back.

"Exactly how old is he?" Lily asked.

"Not sure," Harry muttered, "I only know what Hagrid said."

"He could be older than Hagrid, we don't know which kid came first, though I think Hagrid assumed it was himself." Remus shrugged.

"Either way, I don't see what that has to do with anything," Sirius muttered.

Lily considered this response more to do with the fact Sirius would probably try to do the same thing if he was that size no matter what age.

Hagrid tried to tell him not to, that's how he'd pulled up the last ones, but when the creaking roots could be heard, Hagrid intervened and gave him another jab with the stick.

Grawp looked down with an expression of clear annoyance as Hagrid waved to Harry and Hermione. Grawp only just seemed to realize their presence as he gazed down at them still half hidden behind a tree.

"How good is a giant's eye sight?" Harry asked wearily, he wasn't going to enjoy the experience of one checking out his hairline.

"As good as ours I'd imagine," Remus scratched at his ear. "Perhaps better, as they hunt more naturally than we do."

He introduced Harry first, and tried to do the same for Hermione, but realized her full name may be beyond him, so asked her if he could call her Hermy.

Hermione gave a squeaky agreement.

"I know I would have protested," Sirius sniffed. "If my name was the first four syllable word he'd said, it could be an accomplishment."

Hagrid introduced Hermy to Grawp,

"So does that mean we can start calling her-"

"No," Harry told Sirius flatly before he could even finish.

saying she was going to come out here as well and, Grawp no!

James nearly jumped from his chair in surprise, he hadn't intended to shout that so loud but he'd just been getting back to a place of normalcy in his mind as he adjusted to this situation, now Hagrid was scolding him!

Grawp's hand had shot out of nowhere and tried to seize Hermione, but Harry reacted a moment faster and pulled her back behind the tree as Grawps palm scraped against the bark but seized on air.

Lily gasped, watching Harry's arms tense at his side now like he was prepared to pull her away again.

Hagrid scolded he was being a bad boy, not to grab, while Hermione clung to Harry whimpering.

"Oh, he wouldn't have really hurt her!" Remus tried, and failed to say even as he'd gone a bit white in shock. "He might have just been trying to pick her up, out of curiosity-"

"And look how well that's worked out for Hagrid," Harry shuddered all over.

Then Hagrid let out his own yelp of pain, and Harry poked his head back out to see Grawp had swatted Hagrid away and gone back to his tree.

"Good to know of his attention span I suppose," James tried to say around a squeak, there was just no way he could find some fun in this one.

Hagrid stumped over to them holding his newly broken nose, saying that was enough for one day.

Some color finally started coming back to James' face, Lily was still rubbing at her chest, and the other three were still trying hard not to show they were shaking. A giant. This was a new level, even for Hagrid...

They began walking away, Harry and Hermione still struck dumb. Hagrid actually wanted them to come visit a giant in the Forbidden Forest and pointlessly teach him English?

"Now that's pushing it," Remus couldn't quite push into scolding as he was still shifting his weight in unease. "You heard Hagrid say he had full conversations with them, they can be spoken to as well as a Centaur if you give them half a chance, this one in particular just never seems to have been put into any type of situation like this."

Harry looked at him like he wasn't sure what to say to that. He'd put up with a lot of crazy things for Hagrid, and this one still felt like the worst.

Harry had never understood Hagrid's insistence the most killing things were lovable and harmless, but this was a new one fooling himself Grawp could mix with humans.

"That one is stretching it just a touch," Sirius agreed. "He'd be just fine spending his days in a far off proximity, but not unapproachable, if Hagrid shows we're not all bad." He couldn't quite put the right tone into place, he still wanted to rage at Hagrid for putting a giant into the Forbidden Forest! If the name hadn't been appropriate before, it was now!

Then Hagrid took them both by surprise by drawing his crossbow and fitting an arrow in.

"There's a giant in the forest," Lily enunciated clearly like they already would have forgotten. "I can't imagine something much scarier, and Hagrid hadn't pulled a weapon on him."

Even still, James was back to bouncing his leg with unease. He knew plenty of things Harry could expect in there, and it was good for Hagrid to be on guard, they seemed far enough away from Grawp this was necessary.

They waited in tense silence until a male voice told Hagrid he was no longer welcome here.

"Can the Centaurs do that?" James protested in further outrage, that was somehow even more offensive to him than the giant.

"By our laws, no," Remus said carefully. "The Forest is property of the school, so it's technically Hogwarts land...but the Centaurs may well recognize no such thing. It's rather a conflict that's never had to be brought up in our history, for we've never fought over the space."

"That Forest has been there since Hufflepuff sanctioned it back when the castle was being built," Sirius offered to Harry.

"The stories are unclear though, if the Centaurs were already in the area, or if the Hogwarts Founders created it and they claimed it," James sighed.

Lily was honestly impressed at their history lesson, and so apparently was Harry as he tried to keep focus on this and told them how interesting that was even as he kept looking worriedly at nothing. He didn't like this set up, Grawp not too far off, angry centaurs...

A whole group of centaurs had arrived, including one Harry recognized as Bane. Hagrid wearily greeted the foremost, Magorian, who gave no friendly greeting back, repeating Hagrid was no longer welcome here after he'd helped the traitor Firenze enter servitude.

Hagrid protested this, saying he was doing a favor for Dumbledore!

"There is no point arguing this," James said tensely. Even having Hagrid describe the fight before had made him uneasy, now Harry may well find himself in the middle of it.

"Hagrid won't really start something," Lily tried to say with conviction, "he'll get them out of there, he's been dealing with this for a while now at least."

The centaur said there was no coming back from such disgrace, and Hagrid had lost the friendship of the centaurs by helping him, he was no longer welcome in their forest.

Hagrid shot back he wasn't going to be hearing any of this 'their'. It wasn't their say who came and went here.

Magorian cut in no more than Hagrid's. He'd let him pass today because he was with his young,

"His young," James couldn't help but mutter that a second time, though they'd all long since noticed Hagrid seemed to have as unofficially adopted the kids as much as Molly had.

Bane interrupted they were not his, but students, profiting from the teachings of the traitor Firenze!

"I would not call his vague life's a mystery speech profiting," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Not helping," Remus hissed at him.

Magorian did not waver, they did not hurt the innocent. Hagrid may pass today, but this was his final warning.

Hagrid shouted he wasn't going to let these mules tell him where he could and couldn't go.

They all began itching terribly in fear of this fight. It was probably easier not being there, but they could see both sides in light, and didn't care about either! They just wanted Harry to get out of there!

The centaurs turned to leave anyways, but Hagrid kept shouting after them he wasn't going to let them scare him off. Harry and Hermione put their hands on Hagrid's back to try and force him to move along, but then he glanced down in surprise like he hadn't even felt it.

"Bloody hell," James blinked in surprise. Not that they'd ever tried, but they'd have liked to think Hagrid would have at least registered the two!

He told them to calm down, they wouldn't really do anything, then he took off again as if nothing had happened.

Hermione uneasily kept pace, trying to say to Hagrid that if the centaurs weren't letting people come through, than the three of them wouldn't be much help to Grawp.

Hagrid brushed this off, repeating their own words they wouldn't hurt the innocent. Besides, they shouldn't let those centaurs push them around.

"I see where he's coming from," Sirius said genuinely, he knew he'd have a few things to say if a centaur had ever told them off for being caught in there.

"But while I admire Hagrid for not letting them push him around," James grudgingly agreed, "it wouldn't kill him not to insult them while he's at it!"

"A little avoidance can go a long way," Remus agreed, knowing Hagrid knew this place well enough he should be able to pass by Centaur heavy areas just like they could.

Harry watched all of them with a small smile of pride in place. As if he'd needed further evidence they weren't still fifteen, but here they were actually speaking of avoiding a real life fight.

Harry told Hermione nice try at her disappointment this hadn't made a dent in Hagrid.

They rejoined the daylight to see people pouring out of the stadium laughing and cheering,

James spluttered in surprise, he'd actually forgotten a game was going on!

"Well, I found something to cheer me up next time Ron's goal keeping is mentioned," Sirius groaned. "Teaching ABC's to a giant!"

and Hagrid told them to hurry along into that so they wouldn't be missed, then he went to his cabin. Harry and Hermione trudged back looking distinctly out of place with their numerous tiny cuts and twigs in their hair, but Hermione took no notice of this as she said she couldn't believe him!

"Oh I do," Lily sighed. In Hagrid's...inflated world, she really did see where he was coming from, but did he have to drag Harry into this one?

Harry tried to get her to calm down, but she wouldn't hear it. A giant in the Forest! He wanted them to teach English to it, assuming they could get past the murderous centaurs!

"I think the centaurs scare me more than the giant!" Remus shivered harder than ever to prove his point.

"That didn't make me feel better," Harry told him, a still rather distracted look in place as he had no clue why he agreed with him.

Harry tried to say they didn't have to do anything yet, and Umbridge might not-

Hermione cut him off to say of course she'd get rid of him, and after this who could blame her!

"I can!" They yelped in protest. It was very clear Harry wasn't the only one losing his temper this year if Hermione was going to be saying nonsense like that!

There was a pause in which Harry glared at her, and her eyes filled slowly with tears.

"At least she regretted it," James sighed, letting go of his anger the moment he read that. Hermione did care, she was just scared, they all were at this news.

She admitted she didn't mean that, but the rest of her words were cut off by singing.

Insert Gryffindor version of Weasley is Our King.

James paused with his head cocked to the side in confusion, his wild hair looking more flyaway than ever as he shook it and told them he hadn't read that wrong. Hardly daring to pretend to understand the mix up, he kept going in a slow, forced calm voice.

Hermione began miserably she wished they'd stop gloating, it was already bad enough, but then Harry whispered it wasn't the Slytherin's singing as the edited lyrics continued.

"No, way," Sirius whispered, his eyes now locked on James with nothing else going through his ears.

"They, used the lyrics," Remus spluttered, a grin spreading across his mouth more from surprise than actual pleasure hitting him yet.

James ignored them both, Lily and Harry were still sitting there with their mouths open in shock as he practically shouted the rest.

Hermione whispered no in surprise, Harry shouted yes in excitement, and Ron caught sight of both of them atop many people's shoulders and shouted about their win!

Lily squealed in triumph, clapping and bouncing in place as they all began laughing and cheering loudly. The damn broke, James hardly wanted to finish he was dancing around in so much excitement, but he also couldn't have stopped yelling the words in triumph no matter how hard he tried!

They beamed up at him as he passed. There was a scrum at the door of the castle and Ron's head got rather badly bumped on the lintel,

Sirius laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his seat and banged his own head on the table, and no one stopped to notice that either in their fusing excitement. They didn't have to keep worrying about Grawp right now, this was something so immensely good instead!

They waited until the large cheering crowd had stormed past before turning back to each other, their smiles fading a bit.

Harry said they'd tell him tomorrow.

"You are the best friend ever," Remus assured Harry, or at least tried to over the din. No one would want to be the one to tell all this to Ron in such a glorious moment.

Hermione agreed as they headed up to the party, but both stopped at the door and looked back, wondering if it was their imagination a bunch of birds shooting into the sky far off into the Forest, as if something had just tried to pull up their tree by its roots.

James hardly paid this any mind, the giant wasn't actually hurting anything in the forest yet, but this was wonderful!

"I can't believe you missed that!" Sirius shouted right in Harry's ear, and he hardly even noticed. "You, you actually missed the Quidditch Cup, and they won!"

"I'm sorry, okay," Harry raised his hands in defence even as he couldn't straighten up in his seat from his shoulders shaking too hard. "I know Ron'll make sure I hear every last thing!"

James suddenly didn't want to give the book up to Sirius. This was fantastic! So many bad things had happened this year, but he was actually hoping this was a pattern that was going to keep going, and with his luck Sirius was probably going to get to read about something happening to Umbridge finally. Surely Grawp was the worst thing to happen to Harry the rest of the year.

HPHPHPHP

*This is one of those spells I genuinely question, why? If you just want to transfigure the cup, then you're in the wrong class. If the goal is for the cup to sprout legs to bring you, like a sugar bowl or something, levitate it to you. This...is just so entirely random to be an actual spell being practiced in class!

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #The Life that Never LIved #Marauders #HP #OotP #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter #Harry and James talk #reading the books

3 notes · View notes

anexplanationofunfortunateevents · 5 years ago

Text

democracy was on the ballot and it won

I am a slow-boring-of-hard-boards realist about politics. I am delightedly surprised when I get what I want AT ALL. Months and months ago, I said that my number one issue in this election was the desperate need to put the brakes on democratic backsliding in the United States. I’m not sure how to process the fact that I’ve started to get what I wanted even before the transition.

There is a real path forward for democracy reform in this country. EVEN WITH an aspiring autocrat doing everything he could to rig this election, EVEN WITH a pandemic raging, EVEN WITH malicious foreign actors still trying cause problems, EVEN THOUGH we still have not restored the Voting Rights Act, EVEN WITH all the structural imbalances built into our creaky eighteenth-century constitutional system:

Voter participation went way up! People voted over the course of several weeks from the comfort of their own homes, or on weekends, or on Election Day. And because people took responsibility and spread out their votes like that, it was safer to go to polling places. That was a huge collective choice to prevent a lot of suffering and even some deaths.

A big part of why they could do that is the enormous number of citizens who rallied to work at the polls so that the retirees who usually do the job could sit this year out.

Cities and states around the country took the time they need to count carefully.

Media gatekeepers, for the most part, had the discipline and the patience to be helpful to users about what we knew and what we didn’t. If anything, they’re erring on the side of being too cautious. This is after weeks of most media gatekeepers having the discipline to debunk a disinformation campaign by Trump’s allies and Russian backers, instead of aggressively participating in it.

Social media companies took the most aggressive countermeasures yet against election misinformation.

The person who got the most votes is also the person who won the election, which is pretty cool!

That is a huge improvement from EVERY PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IN THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY. Just in terms of how well the election itself was administered, my only major criticism is that we still did not do something called risk-limiting audits. In the case of an election, audits are basically a carefully calibrated statistical smell test. They’re not a recount. They are a reliable and cost-effective way of figuring out if a recount or some other type of scrutiny should be done for the sake of public confidence in the results – and that makes them a cost-effective deterrence against any bad actors who are considering sabotage. Audits are important whether an election goes your way or not, just like smoke detectors are important whether your building catches fire or not.

But that absolutely should not take away from the fact that we overcame all the new problems that were introduced this year and took some big steps toward solving a lot of old ones – despite the best efforts of Trump and all his enablers. Imagine what we could do under an administration that is helping democracy revitalization instead of aggressively hindering it.

The easiest way for us to make the most comprehensive change would be to win the Senate, which would allow a Biden administration to pass a revitalized Voting Rights Act and restore legitimacy to the federal courts. If you have any time or money to spare in the next few weeks, consider sharing it with the two excellent Democratic candidates in the Georgia Senate runoffs.

We should be realistic about the situation: we’re probably not going to get to do it the easy way, at least, not until after the midterms. But we’re not going to be doing it the hard way any more. The hard way is what we’re doing now. We’re about to get a Department of Justice that opposes civil rights violations and enforces what’s left of the current Voting Rights Act. The intelligence and military cybersecurity units are going to be able to work with the administration instead of around it. And we aren’t going to have to deal with a 24/7 fusillade of lies and voter intimidation coming from the Oval Office. To spin out the “it’s a marathon, not a sprint” metaphor: we’ve been running a marathon uphill carrying forty-pound backpacks. We’ve reached the top where the path levels out, and someone just took our bags and gave us protein bars.

And while we have our protein bars, let’s look around, because the view is as clear and as beautiful as it’s going to get. Donald Trump had every intention of wrecking American democracy, and the entire Republican party had every intention of supporting his aspiring dictatorship. And, while Trump himself is and always has been a clown, the person occupying the Oval Office is the most powerful person on the planet. Actually, that’s an understatement. Since Truman gave the order to drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, our technology has grown stronger and our government has concentrated more and more power in the executive branch, which means that every holder of that office has arguably been the most powerful person in the history of the world. Every other holder of that office has at least wanted to think of himself as using that power for the advancement of democracy and humanity. Donald Trump affirmatively tried to use all that power to entrench himself there permanently.

We stopped him. We stopped him peacefully. We stopped him without further harming the many vulnerable people he holds hostage in a hundred different ways. We stopped him not by elevating an equal-but-opposite charismatic demagogue for a two-men-enter-one-man-leaves smackdown, but by building a vibrant, heterogenous coalition and finding competent, experienced, principled leaders who respect that coalition in all its raucous power. We stopped him, in short, by choosing to do democracy.

That feels good today and it’s enormously consequential. It is also proof of concept. It is something that can happen, because it has happened.

Something that political scientists and democracy advocates have been saying for the past few years is that Trump has been a propaganda gold mine for dictators. They use him as a cautionary tale against liberal democracy or even against hoping that things can ever get better: see, even the Americans are no better than we are! Dictators can artificially insulate themselves from accountability in the short term, which makes them ill-equipped to think about backfire. Train your people’s eyes on the aspiring American autocrat, and they can all see his humiliating fall.

To our sisters and brothers around the world, from Idlib to Hong Kong, from São Paolo to Moscow, and along every wide country road in between: this is the only true thing your oppressors have ever told you. We are no better than you are. We are no more suited for or entitled to liberation. Look what we have done. Imagine what you can do.

There’s kind of a false dichotomy going on where people swung from “Trump is going to successfully rig the election for himself” pessimism to “oh, Biden only ousted an incumbent by a freakishly large margin, it wasn’t an immediate electoral college landslide, why did Trump get so close.” This take has set in before deep blue California and New York have come close to completing their mail-in ballot counts, which tells you that it isn’t serious, but it’s also beside the point. Trump succeeded in making the election unfair. If he hadn’t illegitimately put a whole lot of thumbs on the scale in his favor, if we’d actually had the free and fair election we deserved, I think he probably would have lost in a landslide. We did the work and showed up in numbers that were ultimately too big to rig. That led to victory, although not a victory you can quantifiably measure against the dozen or so American elections that were more or less free and fair. That doesn’t mean the rigging didn’t happen or have any impact. It means we beat the spread. As the world’s most prominent train enthusiast once said, that is a big fucking deal.

A government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the earth. One day soon, it may even exist. That is our charge. That is our choice.

So take a moment to recharge. Enjoy the view. Breathe. We got work to do.

#2020 election #democracy

18 notes · View notes

flickeringart · 4 years ago

Text

Scorpio Sun and Moon Combinations

Planets represent different energetic principals – the signs show how these energies express themselves.

Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Scorpio gives the personality an edge and emotional intensity. No matter what other placements the person has, the subtle stinger is going to come through.

To simplify;

The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-actualization.

The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and needs.

Scorpio Sun – Libra Moon

Even if a Libra Moon suggests an out-going, graceful and social character, the ideal self is cunning, shrewd, suspicious, on the lookout to uncover people’s real motives. Scorpio Sun expresses through subtle attack. Irritability and poisonous moods would be easily triggered, which would compel others to keep at a safe distance – or keep them on their side. Scorpio Sun is prone to hold grudges, to test people emotionally. This placement indicates a need to intimidate with their presence, to let the world know that they are not afraid to strike back at any violation. A Libra Moon in combination with this Sun would do it in a way that is appropriate in the social context they find themselves in - and in a way that will increase their social esteem. Recruiting allies by the use of sweet words and smooth reasoning, the person guarantees emotional safety and closeness with others. Social harmony is the number one emotional need for a Libra Moon, they need others in their lives to complement them, to be fair and respectful. Scorpio Sun would facilitate this need by being on the lookout for betrayal or disharmony. There could be biting corrections of others and a whole array of defense mechanisms to be employed in the name of protecting the most refined social image and ideal. The person would likely thrive in a relationship because of Scorpio’s need to possess and merge and Libra’s need for admiration and partnership. The negatively labeled ”shallowness” of the Libra Moon would be nicely complimented Scorpio’s capacity to feel. However, the Libran emotional needs could suffer as the person’s self-expression would be quite sharp and confronting. If the person pairs up with someone who’s incapable to deal with constant probing and poking, the person might leave and the Libran ideal is crushed in the process. Expressing one’s personality versus satisfying one’s emotional needs could be a tricky balancing act.

Scorpio Sun – Capricorn Moon

Capricorn Moon needs to achieve something of material and societal value and the Scorpio Sun facilitates this through detecting threats against success. Scorpio can be described as a sign that is on hyper-surveillance mode, and when it teams up with Capricorn, it creates a resourceful and disciplined individual. The overall mood of this combo is very serious and somber, the person would operate from a place of compensation. The Capricorn Moon is restrictive of emotions and can’t generate genuine lightness by itself – it needs to compensate through working toward a societally approved goal and get confirmation on a structural level of their worthiness. High ambitions are necessary for their emotional fulfillment. Strategizing and planning, taking precautions and never letting anyone come too close would be characteristic of this combo. Scorpio Sun makes sure that other’s don’t take advantage or try to subtly sabotage their plans. The person would likely have the feeling of already being innately deprived and separated from bliss and so the only way is out of hell. This makes the person more resilient and capable of facing hard realities but it makes the person more prone to depression and pessimism as well. If there’s a charming and radiant Rising placement like Leo, the personality might seem warmer and more content than if the Rising sign falls in a more practical sign like Virgo. None the less, the Cap Moon will be insecure and prone to emotionally protect by condemning and judging, to over-compensate in terms of constant striving. Scorpio Sun could easily serve as the emotional bully, to mercilessly make themselves feel better through undermining and pacifying others through cleverly poking at the sore spots. There’s a lot of coping that goes on within this person, but that is not to say that it won’t have it’s rewards. The person might feel emotionally castrated with a Cap Moon, have a hard time displaying affection and fondness while Scorpio Sun is very passionate and dramatic in terms of self-expression.

Scorpio Sun – Cancer Moon

With a double water combo the personality is bound to be very emotional. While the needs and instincts of the Cancer Moon is more gentle and careful when navigating life, the self-expression of the Scorpio Sun is out on the emotional battlefield – strong in their passions and desires. The person might love to test the emotional impact they can have on another person and what makes their targets vulnerable to manipulation. However, the strong ego of the Scorpio Sun might have to take into consideration and work with the Cancerian need to make sure everything is sorted as to ensure that one has a safe space of gentleness and escape from the intensity of life. The need to bolster the emotions from too much challenge and harshness in characteristic of a Cancer Moon. The person needs to feel nurtured and taken care of, preferably by a close circle of friends or a family unit. Cancer might soften the sharpness of Scorpio and make the person more approachable and more easy to confide in. However, if there’s an insult to the person’s identity, they might retaliate without a second thought. Emotionally, however, the person is not prone to feel all-consuming rage, and would much rather show sympathy and understanding while staying out of harm’s way. If insulted or treated unfairly, water signs usually don’t forget and will not overlook any attack, however subtle. This combo would lend itself well to forming relationships although the Cancerian need for safety could cause the Scorpio Sun to be overly protective and distant at first. The person would embody both intensity and softness, and would seek emotional interaction with others in life – but perhaps at a safe distance at first. There’s loyalty, protectiveness as well as sensitivity to be found in a relationship with this kind of person but a whole lot of moodiness and drama as well.

(Buy products with my art)

Scorpio Sun – Aries Moon

This combo is an interesting one. The person’s emotional and instinctual needs are to assert, to compete, to do things quickly, to be a leader, to feel independent and potent. The identity is emotional and strategic and needs to engage with others as to demonstrate power through emotional impact. This personality is very sharp indeed and runs on energy and hyper–vigilance that is beyond what one would think possible. A placement like a Taurus Rising or some other stabilizing earthy influence might take down the voltage of the personality a notch. Never the less, it’s still a bit like the person is on speed, not only energetically, but emotionally. Privacy would be valued as a general rule, but the instinctual impulse would be to just share things and not care. Aries is an extremely individualistic sign. When the Moon is here, the instincts become impulsive and rash, stemming from the desire to carry out intention without compromising. The Scorpionic ego might not be fond of this tendency as it leans toward strategic moves that is guaranteed to fulfill their purpose. Scorpio Sun is a personal expression that is careful and controlled because of the capacity for emotional intensity in relation to other people. The Aries Moon doesn’t have any other need that acting on it’s urges, it’s not particularly cautious or socially adapted. ”Me first” is the need of an Aries Moon. The person would be prone to see obstacles and threats to their will and be willing to go above and beyond to further themselves in the face of limitation and restriction. On a positive note, the energy and investment that can be put into themselves and their relationships are remarkable. There’s a lot of passion to this type of personality, a fighting spirit that is inexhaustible and a personality that is out to demonstrate it’s power.

Scorpio Sun – Aquarius Moon

This combo creates a personality that can be cool and detached from mundane existence while being very protective of their integrity and power. The Aquarius Moon with the Scorpio personality gives the person a jerky temperament that is sometimes perfectly detached and chill with everything but can switch on a dime and become defensive and biting. There person would be a bit of a loner – partly because of having high ideals, a fondness for freedom and a tendency to remain above the actual meat of human existence. It would also be because the person’s self-expression is guarded and defensive, a bit mean and threatening to others. In many ways, this personality setup presents a bit of a paradox, because on an emotional level the person stays above the battle ground, while the ego is sensitive to critique and attack. The person might be able to have intellectual closeness with others but is not instinctually suited for the more clingy, merging relationships. The Scorpionic identity on the other hand loves a good emotional confrontation and being viewed as mysterious and intimidating. Even though there’s certainly friction between the two signs, there’s also a possibility of understanding human nature in the broadest and the deepest sense. These signs combined gives the character an emotional intensity with an intellectual and original instinctual nature. The emotional needs are not concrete but abstract – just being shown understanding and recognition could satisfy the person. The basic instinct is to be reasonable, but the Scorpio tendency to be touchy could earn the person a reputation of being bad-tempered and mean. The core of the person is none the less more idealistic and cerebral than emotional.

Scorpio Sun – Taurus Moon

These signs is in opposition and are both at odds with each other and complementary. Both signs want control – Scorpio in terms of emotions and Taurus in terms of material value. Taurus Moon indicates a stable and stubborn temperament with a need for physical comfort and pleasure. The person would be emotionally satisfied through creating concrete and fixed foundations, which could be applied to relationships, work situation or any dimension of life. The person would be inclined to commit to permanent situations and dedicate themselves long-term to whatever endeavor they feel is meaningful. With a Scorpionic identity to top it off, the person would be very protective and possessive of belongings – which includes relationships. The person might have little tolerance for any kind of change in the structure of their life – reacting to the slightest fluctuation as if it was a life and death situation. Also, the intensity of Scorpio paired with the stubbornness of Taurus would make the person difficult to sway – opinions could be fixed and defended just because of pride. A mutable Ascendant might make the person more flexible, but when it comes down to it, they would probably just use the flexibility to get their own needs met. The sharpness and the volatile expression of the Scorpio Sun would be soothed a bit by the Taurus Moon. The need for things to remain the same on a physical level could however be thwarted by ego’s expression of living dangerously. The self-expression of intensity directly oppose the stable serenity of a Taurus Moon. The overall personality is aware that it is the unconscious psychological dimension that run the show and might seek to manipulate others into benefitting their material situation. Scorpios are excellent at getting down to the very core of things and Taurus has great stamina.

Scorpio Sun – Scorpio Moon

The characteristics of Scorpio applies to the identity and the emotions with both the luminaries in the same sign. The self-expression is domineering, piercing, secretive and emotional. The person find that they come into their own through these qualities, and luckily (or not so luckily) find that their emotions follow along the same lines. However, a Scorpio Moon is very different from a Scorpio Sun. All the qualities that are used as an expression of the person’s ideal self, is part of the person’s instinctive and emotional nature. Emotions are extremely intense, to the point of being physically painful. This person’s need for protection, power and defense will likely exceed the limits of what is “healthy” for the individual. The insight that there’s no where to go but through the ”fire” is not easy to deal with. Paranoia and spontaneous attacks could be directed outwardly as the person is very sensitive to any kind of violation of the emotional system. ”Everyone is out to get me” would be the experience more or less, or rather ”everything is out to get me”. Even people close to them could get a healthy dose of retaliation for something they didn’t mean to cause. No one is merely a friend – friends are enemies and enemies are friends. This realization is torture for Scorpios, they like everything to be black and white – but it’s never the case There’s no blind trust that is given from a person with these placements. Scorpios are very good at detecting the undercurrents within relationships and is usually right to react when they do. If they can’t detect a threat, there usually is none. If they detect guardedness and subtle undertones of resentment they will not tolerate it, and try to provoke an overt reaction as to reveal the person’s true nature. They would not be ones to hand out any ammunition that can be used against them later. This combo in particular will have no problem with danger and extremes – because they live on the edge between life and death anyway. Coping in crises is probably their greatest trump card – even though it looks like they could self-destruct any minute.

Scorpio Sun – Leo Moon

This is quite a combo, a lot of pride, integrity and ego to preserve with these placement. Leo Moon needs attention and admiration, they feel the need to dramatize their lives, to make everything part of their own show – bad and the good emotional experiences. With a Scorpio ego in the mix, everything that happens around the person could be blown out of proportion. Scorpio Sun has a penchant for emotional drama and likes to stir things up when the mood hits – making people uncomfortable and demonstrating their insight into other people’s inner lives. Leo Moon’s emotions will accommodate this and add theatrical streaks, making it into a performance more or less. Leo attempts to be noble and good – and above all warm. The individual will be passionate but there will be a kind of pleasant affectionate and playful spirit to the emotional nature. The stinging Scorpionic expression will assert itself but it might not be perceived to be as dark and threatening because of the person’s innate charm. The ego fulfills itself through the impact it can make – but the instinctual nature is playful and creative. The person might experience a friction between an emotionally volatile ego and a warm and radiant temperament that wants to be in the spotlight. Scorpio doesn’t really want to be in the spotlight, it deals with the emotional underpinnings and threats of separation (which is equated with attack) and the merging that is possible between people. The Scorpio personality like to keep things more subtly intense and is not necessarily craving attention and recognition on a superficial level. Leonine emotions are dramatic and take up space but they’re never attacking, probing or penetrating. They’re a display of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, not of deep seated fear. Both signs are fixed and gives the person an ability to stand their ground without budging.

Scorpio Sun – Gemini Moon

The sharpness of Scorpio is coupled with a high strung temperament that craves mental stimulation and constant interaction with the environment. This combo makes for a really good ”detective”, with a astonishing perceptive ability of the ins and outs of the human mind. The social disposition of a Gemini Moon will be modified slightly by the careful and private Scorpio Sun, but it gives the person an air of mystique. It gives the overall personality a deepening that allows the intellect to not only be used for fun but for real meaty business. However, there would be a risk of hyper tension and a sensitive nervous system. The Gemini temperament is very alert and active while a Scorpio identity is emotionally charged. The person would be difficult to pin down and very adaptive emotionally, however, Scorpio is a fixed sign and would stick to preserving the thing they perceive themselves to be. The self-expression would be that of confrontation and stinging attack, with a cleverness and an ability to out-smart other people. This really is a deadly combination because Gemini provides a quick and slippery nature, perfect for the Scorpio ego to control and navigate social interactions and warding of uncomfortable situations. It’s also a perfect combo for carrying out manipulative strategies and acquire power. Gemini has a wicked humor, which Scorpio kind of shares, although Gemini is more easy-going and is not as dedicated and Scorpio. This could present a point of conflict, since the ego would like to be squarely in the intensity of life while Gemini would tend to want to take short-cuts and cheat just for the fun of it – not for the sake of revenge or an inner rage.

Scorpio Sun – Virgo Moon

This is also a combo that is stress-prone. The intensity of the ego expression and the active intellectual temperament that has to process everything creates a person that is constantly on edge. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing – but there’s a potential for carrying the burden of needing everything to be perfect all the time, of avoiding mistakes to the point of detriment. The Scorpionic identity doesn’t help the Virgo temperament to calm down, it adds to the paranoia of spotting attack out in the world. There’s nothing glamorous about this combination, but it’s intellectually sharp and extremely efficient and to the point (with the exception of needing to process everything, which could take time). Virgo Moons, like Gemini Moons are never mentally inactive and they are working all the time even when it doesn’t look like they do. They ponder how they can fix this and that, how they should organize their everyday routines and chores as to ensure a smooth functioning of life. With a Scorpio Sun personality, this could become an obsession. These placements would point to a reserved personality and it might be a bit straining in social situations. Smaller friend groups and less stimulation would greatly benefit this kind of person. Real conversation, relevant and productive interactions would be the person’s cup of tea. Getting ”high on life” and just having ”fun” doesn’t come naturally, the person would crave more purposeful and useful activities. Diving deep into topics of interests and having genuinely valuable exchanges with others is what gets these people going. Although Scorpio is emotionally dramatic, the Virgo is not comfortable with ”irrationality” and would process things on the inside before letting it out – if ever. There would be a tendency to critique things, to correct others with the agenda to dominate them, although it could be done in a genuine attempt to help as well. The intellectual Virgo Moon needs to use information in the name of service of themselves and others, but the Scorpio Sun needs to attack and defend.

Scorpio Sun – Pisces Moon

This is a very emotional and deep combo. The dilemma of existence is felt on a daily basis. The Pisces Moon is idealistic, romantic and forever longing to live in a blissful state permanently. Scorpio Sun seeks to wield power and interact with life passionately. The need to love and be loved is very strong, yet there’s disappointment in the world for not delivering the treasures of salvation that one hopes for. The avoidant and dissociative nature of the Piscean temperament doesn’t blend well with Scorpio’s expression of confrontation and attack. The emotional nature is not black and white, more often than not very vague and abstract. The Scorpio persona likes to be either or – in or out, committed or uncommitted. The Piscean emotional nature is fluctuating and might therefore have a hard time sticking to a path of commitment. The person might feel like they’re loosing grip on what’s important to their ideal self and might be swept away by the fluctuating environment, unable to stay consistent and solid in terms of boundaries. Never the less, the emotional richness that comes with these placements would create a very intuitive and creative person, prone to lose their grip emotionally and space out occasionally, yet having the capacity to take control and not let anybody mess with them. There’s a generosity and unconditionality to the instinctual nature but a determined and persevering ego structure that attempts to keep it in check. The person would be able to love completely and intensely and would not go for shallow interactions in the first place. The person would likely be perceived as overly sensitive – soaking up influences like a sponge and desperately trying to draw boundaries between itself and the rest of the world. It won’t work, and might lead to emotional overwhelm, destructiveness and unhealthy coping mechanisms. There’s a tendency to feel like a victim, but the Scorpio identity won’t show this in the first place. Great intuition and capacity to feel into things comes with these placements.

Scorpio Sun – Sagittarius Moon

The easy-going, sunny Sagittarian temperament would add a lightness to the denser Scorpionic ego. This could very well be a deadly combo because Sagittarius is expansive and Scorpio is extreme – combining the two could create someone who can can be evil as a way of having fun. Inappropriate, morbid jokes, casual comments that is down right mean could be common expressions. Making things happen, heading out on adventures and exploring the world would be emotionally satisfying, yet it would all be done with the goal in mind to get some grip and control over oneself and others – to get some insight into the depth of existence. The person could seek to express their dominant character through engaging in a variety of activities – preferably risky ones that pushes the limits. The casual temperament might make the person unable to commit and the person would drift from one thing to the next, seeking intensity through the multitude of experiences rather than from an isolated singular experience. On an emotional level the person would crave freedom and independence – passion is fine as long as it’s not linked to a binding commitment. The Scorpio identity expresses itself a little differently, it loves and hates completely and likes to possess things permanently. This would cause some friction within the person, making it hard to combine an innate optimism and adaptability with a fixed and determined self-expression. However, the capacity for the Sagittarius Moon to perceive their emotions as meaningful in terms of a journey of unfoldment could bring some consolation to the fixed Scorpionic ego. The path toward knowledge would be pursued with a degree of seriousness and dedication. The person would possess enough spirit and enough will to explore existential dilemmas, to uncover the truth and transform themselves. Constant movement and improvement through intensity is what this person is all about.

203 notes · View notes