#I PROMISE I’M DONE WITH THE THOMAS POSTING

[oddfamiliar]

St. Thomas, herald of the Obelisk, and patron saint of tax assistance for the citizens of Sornieth

Happy anniversary Flight Rising, and happy birthday Thomas :]

[lisired]

love jones

pairing: photographer!haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, strangers to lovers, hollywood!au, photographer!haechan, model!reader, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wr- [gets hit by a car])

summary: After breaking off your engagement to your fiance, you move to Los Angeles to pursue a modeling career. There in the fairytale land where stars go to shine you meet Haechan, an aspiring photographer with a penchant for mischief and flirtation.

word count: 12.4k (/25.5k)

a/n: inspired by love jones; the song by leon thomas featuring ty dolla $ign and the movie by theodore witcher. this is a repost of an old fic that i will be publishing in 2 installments; it is also the prequel to supermodel, which you do not have to read. installment two will be linked here when posted. as always, feedback is appreciated!

The air was different in California. 

“The land of make-believe,” you sighed, holding the cold metal bar in your hands. This was your new home. Sine die. 

Better than New York City, you muttered crankily to yourself. Everything there reminded you of him. Every street, every scent. You would rather not think of the asshole that cheated on you with another woman while you gave him everything. California, on the other hand, was a brand new slate. Free of assholes that showed other girls their penises while being months away from vowing forever to you. You had let out a massive sigh of relief when your doctor confirmed that you didn’t have any infections.

Still, you fondled the engagement band on your finger. 

“I know you’re not out here thinking about he who shall not be named,” Chaewon chided in disapproval, hands on her hips. 

You turned around. You hadn’t heard the door open. When she came beside you, you turned around again, facing the busy street just below of you. 

“No. I’m not thinking about him,” you lied through your teeth. “I’m just brooding.”

“Same damn thing.”

You rolled your eyes. 

Chaewon back-hugged you and wrapped her arms around your waist snugly, making you giggle. “I forbid you from thinking about that asshole any longer. The whole point of you coming here was to forget about him.”

“And the new opportunities,” you added. 

“Exactly. He was holding you back. He wanted to be the man and bring home the bacon, and couldn’t stand the thought of you being a successful independent woman perfectly capable of taking care of her damn self,” Chaewon said without taking a single breath. 

You mulled it over. That was a little too true. Your ex-boyfriend always talked about having kids and taking care of you and them, but you hated to think that your independence might’ve driven him away. “But you don’t just forget about the life and broken promises of the future you made,” you whispered sadly. 

Chaewon let out a little sigh. She was sad for you. Her heart, too. 

Then, she backed off and said, “You know what? We’re going to the club.”

You gawked and did a one-eighty. Full speed. “What?”

“You heard me. And put that ring up, girl. You’re not gonna get any dick if a man sees that on your finger. I don’t know why you haven’t given it back to him yet. Better yet, you should throw it off a mountain. We have plenty.”

“Oh, please,” you replied boredly. “I know these Los Angeles boys don’t give a damn. They would fuck the hole between the ring if their dicks were small enough.”

“Oh, don’t bring your Manhattan bullshit over here. The boys I know have decorum,” Chaewon replied matter-of-factly. 

“I’m sure,” you deadpanned. 

Chaewon cocked her head at you and planted her hands on her hips. “When you’re done being a drama queen, you need to go change into something risqué. I’ll be back in an hour to pick you up.”

“Yes, Mother,” you said coolly, in spite of not being even the least bit inclined to bump and grind at a club tonight. 

“I’m serious. If that ring’s not off your finger by the time I get back, I’m kicking some ass.” Then, she went back inside. You shook your head. Los Angeles, you thought. What am I going to do with you?

The club was packed with people, which was to be expected given that it was a Friday night. You paid them no attention, sticking close to Chaewon like a toddler kept close to their mother’s bosom. 

“And I told her, ‘but that doesn’t make any sense. Gladys Presley popped Elvis Presley out of her coochie eighty-six years ago. There’s no way you could be his mother.’”

The group laughed at Jeno. 

Jaemin hurled back a shot of vodka and added, “Gladys Presley didn’t look happy in a single picture I’ve seen of her.”

“Shit. If my son was Elvis Presley, I wouldn’t exactly be exhilarated either,” Ryujin quipped. 

Mark covered her mouth. “Lower your voice. You cannot say that too loud out here.”

Ryujin shoved him off. “Get your hands off me, freak,” she hissed, narrowing her eyes at him. 

The group laughed again. Except for Mark. 

And Haechan. 

Winter casted a glance at Haechan. “What’s up with the sun man?”

Jaemin, who was to the left of Haechan, nudged him and asked, “What’s wrong, my man?”

Haechan didn’t even blink. He was too busy staring past the tables. Something had evidently caught his eye. 

Jeno followed his gaze and snickered. He spotted you, sitting at the bar with Chaewon. “I know what’s got my boy’s attention.”

Everyone glanced where Jeno was looking. There you were, obliviously laughing and chattering with your best friend. You were wearing a flimsy black dress now in lieu of the dolphin shorts you’d worn while moving the last of your stuff inside your new condo. 

“Damn, she’s bad,” Jaemin murmured under his breath. 

Winter angrily hit him. 

Jaemin immediately stammered, “I mean, you’re badder. She’s nothing compared to you. I’m just saying she’s a little cute. For someone like Haechan, maybe.”

The table erupted in laughter. 

“Mm-hm,” Winter hummed doubtfully, crossing her arms. 

“Come on, baby. You know I’ve only got eyes for you,” Jaemin said, giving Winter a smooch to the cheek. “Billions of girls in the world and I still choose you. You’re the only one I want.”

Mark deadpanned, “He’s so smooth.” 

“He must get it from you,” Ryujin shot, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Mark shot her a glare. 

Jeno draped an arm around Haechan’s shoulder. “Come on, man. You just gonna sit and stare at her or what? You gotta make a move.”

Ryujin quipped, “And what do you know about making moves?” 

“August twelfth, two years ago.” 

Ryujin narrowed her eyes at him. “Only losers who get little play remember the exact date they fucked somebody.”

“Well, that says a lot more about you than it does about me, doesn’t it? I could have been talking about anything,” Jeno quipped, smirking. 

The boys, especially Mark, laughed. Winter fought a chuckle in female solidarity. 

“I pieced it together,” Ryujin mumbled. 

“It’s okay to admit you’re a little lonely, Ryujin. I mean, after Sunwoo fled to Chicago, I can only imagine it’s been a long minute since you’ve gotten any attention downstairs,” Mark crooned like potent venom. 

There were a couple of ‘ooh’s from the boys. 

“You guys are annoying,” Haechan finally said after having not spoken for the past few minutes. Which was unusual for someone like him. “I’m going to go get her number. Watch this.”

The table whooped and hollered, cheering him on. Meanwhile, he approached you stealthily, popping a stick of gum. 

Haechan sat at the available seat to your left (because Chaewon was to your right) and greeted, “Hello, ladies.”

Chaewon took one glance at the handsome stranger to your left and had raging heart eyes. You, on the other hand, were wishing you would have ignored her and brought your ring to deter any unwanted visitors. The one thing he was good for, you grumbled to yourself. But if you were being honest with yourself, the stranger was pretty cute. Pretty brown eyes, like your ex-fiancé. Smooth skin. And he had the cutest, most kissable lips. If you hadn’t already written him off as bad news, you would have let yourself be interested. 

“Hi, handsome,” Chaewon flirted, giggling like an idiot. You stiffened. You knew your way around men, but you weren’t in the mood. 

Haechan smiled, but he was all eyes for you. Ironically, you were wishing he would disappear. He asked, “Can I have your name?”

“You haven’t done anything to deserve it,” you replied with complete disinterest. 

“Hard to get. I fuck with it,” Haechan noted. “What do you want me to do?”

You pretended to be in thought. “You can start by removing yourself from my vicinity. Please and thank you.”

Chaewon winced and told him your name.

“Chae,” you groaned.  

Haechan repeated after her. “A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

“Oh, could you be any more original?” you deadpanned. “By the way, I’m engaged.”

Haechan laughed. “You are definitely not engaged. I know that and I know nothing about you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “And how would you know that?” 

“Because engaged people have engaged people vibes. You have painfully strong ‘I hate anything that has to do with love and romance’ vibes,” Haechan answered slickly, then leaned close to sing for only your ears, “And I don’t see an engagement ring on your finger.”

Chaewon was having a laugh at your expense. Meanwhile, this stranger pulled back and smirked at you, reading your thoughts. You wanted to be mad that he was right, but you kind of liked his voice in your ear.

“She’s single,” Chaewon added, as if it were necessary. “Maybe not ready to mingle though.”

You were fighting the most irritated groan at this point. 

Haechan raised his hands and backed off, taking the mean scowl on your face as a firm ‘no’ and the rejection coolly. “That’s cool. Look, I’ll leave you ladies alone. Have a good night.”

“You, too,” Chaewon said, waving him goodbye as he stepped off the barstool. 

When he was finally gone, you let out a breath of relief. 

Chaewon gave you a look. “He’s so into you. I’m not even mad. You fumbled so bad. He’s fine as hell.”

“You’re forgetting that I didn’t ask to be dragged to this club in the first place. I don’t want to get dicked down by some dude whose name I don’t even know,” you grumbled, finishing what was left in your cup. 

“I’m sure he would have given it to you if you asked,” she replied teasingly. 

You rolled your eyes. “He can keep it to himself. I don’t want to fuck and forget.”

“Ugh, lame,” Chaewon groaned. “Fuck and forget is every young model’s motto.”

“Well, not mine,” you huffed, vexed. With a smidge of attitude. 

Chaewon noticed your tone and frowned. “Okay, timeout. Babe, listen. I’m not trying to pressure you into doing anything you don’t wanna do. If you don’t wanna fuck around then don’t. I was just suggesting it might be nice to get to know somebody else. See where it goes.”

“I know,” you sighed, squeezing her hand. “Tonight’s just not a good night.”

Chaewon bobbed her head. “I understand. Take your time. You’ll know when you’re ready.”

You gave her a weak smile.

Meanwhile, Haechan was doing something adjacent to the walk of shame as he approached his clique’s table, empty-handed.

Jeno immediately taunted, “What a snag, man.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jeno,” Haechan hissed, throwing Jeno his middle finger. 

Mark gave Haechan a compassionate look. “You get an ‘E’ for effort, dude.”

“L for loss,” Jeno murmured under his breath none too quietly.

“She looked like she wanted to kill you with her bare hands,” Jaemin retorted, holding Winter’s hand under the table.

Winter snickered. “And how would you know what that looks like?”

“Because I see Ryujin look at Mark like that everyday,” Jaemin quipped, earning a couple laughs around the table. 

“Whatever,” Haechan said, feigning nonchalance. “You win some, you lose some.”

Jaemin braced his hand on Haechan’s shoulder. “This is just the trials and tribulations, buddy. You’ll get her next time.”

Haechan downed a shot of liquor. “We’ll see.”

When Tuesday morning arrived, you were up bright and early. You slipped on a minimalist outfit and got a taxi to the record store. 

Ryujin was working the cash register when you walked inside. You didn’t recognize her, but she recognized you, smirking in amusement. “Good morning. Can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for a Michael Jackson vinyl,” you replied, holding your purse. 

“Vinyls are back that way,” Ryujin said, pointing her finger. “Good luck. He still sells fast.”

You thanked her and headed straight for the back shelves. Your record collection was a vinyl away from being finished after a number of years spent putting it together and you were desperately on the hunt for the finishing piece. Not a second later, Haechan meandered inside clad in denim jeans and black leather. He looked like nothing short of any parent’s worst nightmare. 

Ryujin beckoned him over and whispered, “Aren’t you the king of good timing? Your girl’s in the back.”

Haechan furrowed his brows. “My…” Then, he faced the back of the store and saw you carefully sifting through records, trying your absolute hardest to find the one you were looking for. From the looks of it, however, your efforts were in vain. 

Haechan glanced back at Ryujin in shock. “Shit. Should I shoot my shot?”

“I mean, the last time you shot your shot, you missed,” Ryujin replied, propping her pretty face up on the counter. “Like Michael Jordan against the Toronto Raptors in 2002 missed.”

“And he still won. So, watch it,” Haechan shot back. 

Ryujin rolled her eyes. “Whatever. But don’t make me get the buff Johnny guy from next door to escort you out of the building. The cute one that’s pretty tall.”

“Everyone knows who Johnny is, Ryu,” Haechan muttered, making his way towards you. Again. 

You didn’t even give Haechan the chance to speak when you noticed him. Your face scrunched up and you droned, “You again.”

Haechan lifted his hands. “You know, most people usually greet others with a ‘hey’ or a ‘good morning.’”

“Not in New York City.”

Haechan gave you a curious stare. “You’re from New York City?”

You grimaced. You didn’t mean to let that slip. “I’ve already said too much.”

“You’ve said just enough, girl,” Haechan replied with a smirk. “Whatchu looking for?”

“A Michael Jackson Thriller vinyl. It’s for my record collection,” you answered absentmindedly, ransacking the shelves for the record to no avail. Which was irritating. It’s like his most popular album, you grumbled to yourself.  

That certainly got Haechan’s attention. “Oh,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets. “I have a signed Thriller vinyl at my crib.”

You scoffed. “Please. As if.”

“I’m deadass,” Haechan insisted, but the untamed twinkle in his eyes made him hard to believe. 

“Right,” you droned. “And I’m guessing this is the part where you invite me back to your crib and try to persuade me to hook up with you.”

“Hey, I’m not that type of guy. Scout’s honor,” Haechan said, though sensing your raging skepticism, he called out, “Look. Hey, Ryu! Don’t I have a signed Michael Jackson vinyl?”

“It’s like you won’t let us forget,” Ryujin shouted back, annoyed. Then, she leaned over the counter, noticing the reluctance all over your face. “Yeah, he’s got one. It’s legit. I’d tell you if this punk was bullshitting.”

For whatever reason, Ryujin’s words of confirmation finally pushed you to believe him. You badgered, “How in the hell did you get your hands on a signed Michael Jackson vinyl? He couldn’t have given it to you. You were how old when he died?”

“Legends never die, baby,” was Haechan’s witty reply. 

You almost rolled your eyes, but settled for stubbornly folding your arms instead. “Okay. What do I have to do for it?”

“Go out on a date with me.”

That didn’t surprise you at all. Haechan had been trying to ask you out from the get-go. He was nothing if not persistent as ever. “A date,” you repeated with a smidge of boredom. 

Haechan bobbed his head. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date-date. My friends and I are having this get-together tomorrow night. You should come. Ryujin has been bitching about how there’s an uneven boy-to-girl ratio.”

You arched a brow. “And you want me to even things out?”

“Well, with you we’d have four boys to three girls, but if you find me worthwhile you can start bringing your friend and then we’ll be as even as a figure eight.”

You mulled it over. One date wouldn’t be so bad, you contemplated. It wasn’t as if you would be alone with this boy. There would be five other people in the room with you. Not to mention Haechan truly didn’t seem that bad. And if you were being honest, under better circumstances, you probably would’ve already taken him to bed. 

Besides, after spending most of your dating life with a cheating bastard, you definitely deserved to move on. Something fresh. If you decided that you didn’t like Haechan after this date, you could cut him off. Matter of fact, you could cut him off afterwards whether you liked him or not. Anything for the vinyl. 

Haechan watched your lip tuck out in thought and thought it was the cutest thing ever. He could tell you were really mulling it over. The gears in your brain were spinning quicker than ever before. 

“Fine,” you finally said after a while. “I’ll go on a date with you.”

In his head, Haechan was doing a very, very strange victory dance. But instead, he played it cool, and said, “Sweet.”

“Cool.”

Haechan pointed to the vinyls behind him with his thumb. “Can I play you something?”

You shrugged. “Sure.”

Haechan did a smooth one-eighty and grabbed a Michael Jackson Bad vinyl before popping it into the record player beside you. You watched him skillfully set the needle, as if he had done it a thousand times before. A song you knew very well started to play. 

“I just can’t stop loving you,” you exhaled, noting the song name. You knew every word. 

Haechan nodded and smiled at you. Then, he stretched out his hand. “May I have a dance?”

You giggled and took his hand in yours, putting your other behind his shoulder as he wrapped his around your waist. You wanted to be mad that you liked how his hands felt on your body. Ironically, you couldn’t remember the last time you had felt the touch of a man. 

In little to no time, you were slow dancing in the back of a record store with a stranger. A very handsome stranger at that. You locked eyes and it was enough to make you hold your breath. 

Neither of you took your eyes off of each other afterwards. You were just swaying to the rhythm, breathing in the sweet, titillating scent of him. Sharing the warmth of your bodies as they touched. 

It was almost romantic. Then, a thought struck you. “I never got your name.”

“My friends call me Haechan,” he replied, flashing a smile. “But you can call me ‘baby.’”

“Haechan,” you said, tasting his name on your tongue. And ignoring his attempts at flirting.

Haechan’s face faltered for half a second, but he was quick to recover. “Because I like the way it rolls off your tongue, I’ll let it slide.”

You snickered. 

That sound was music to his ears. “So,” Haechan started. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at seven. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” you chirped. “I’ll give you my number.”

“I hope you like motorcycles,” Haechan replied with a chuckle. 

“You drive a motorcycle?”

Haechan pointed to the entrance with his shoulder. “Parked right outside. She’s my baby.”

You stared over his shoulder and right through the glass window, spotting his motorcycle parked directly out front. It was a sleek, black motorbike that coupled perfectly with his mischievous attire. 

Oh, boy. 

For an entire hour, you carefully planned your date night outfit with Chaewon (who after loudly celebrating your secured date agreed to assist with the wardrobe assembling prep) over FaceTime. 

Not that it was a fancy date. Which was exactly why you were conflicted. You wanted to dress to impress, but you also didn’t want to seem like a try-hard. Like hell you were trying to impress Haechan, but you knew men like him perceived the slightest things as sexual advances.

You went for jeans and a crop top with a cute puffer jacket in the end, and called it a night. Just in case it got chilly, which was unpredictable in bitter Los Angeles evenings. Over the night and throughout your day, you caught yourself thinking about the handsome stranger that liked motorcycles. 

The slow dancing in the record store. The eye contact. The warmth of his body beside yours and his perfect scent throttling you. And you found yourself smiling. When Chaewon asked you how the dance was after you confided in her about the little event at the back of the record store, you’d replied, “It was magical.”

You were standing on the fence. Haechan was cute and could be an excellent distraction from your mess of a love life. But you weren’t exactly ready to risk getting your heart broken again. 

So, you decided you wouldn’t be getting your heart involved. Haechan was harmless fun.   

But you were still counting down the hours until he arrived at your front door. 

Haechan arrived punctually at your front door with two minutes left to spare. You grabbed your phone off the charger and dropped it in your purse before racing to open the front door. “Hi,” you said. 

Haechan waved. “‘Sup, baby.”

“You’re on time,” you commented, maybe slightly surprised.

Haechan chuckled at that. Seemingly not offended. “Yeah, I am.” He cocked his head.  “Should I have stood you up?”

A part of you somewhat expected him to and you would be lying if you said it hadn’t. Sue you for being cynical. After all, your last relationship had taught you to be a little more careful with your heart. Deciding you wouldn’t be answering that question, you gave him a quick scan and concluded that you liked what you saw. “You clean up nice.”

“Is that your way of saying I’m handsome?”

“It means you dress up well. Take the compliment before I retract it,” you replied, crossing your arms. 

“You already said it. No take-backs,” Haechan teased, grinning all smug-like. “You look pretty. But you’re always gorgeous.”

His flirting was going to be the death of you. “You’ve seen me three times and not once without makeup.”

“Take the compliment before I retract it,” Haechan mocked, giving an impersonation of however your voice sounded in his head. 

You gawked. “I do not sound like that!” 

Haechan snickered and grabbed your hand, shutting the door behind you with his other. “Listen, baby,” he started. “While I would love to get on your nerves, we’re going to be late.”

Realizing he was right, you dropped it. For now. “Okay,” you sighed. “Well, let’s go.”

Haechan led you outside to where his motorcycle was parked, making small talk with you along the way to fill the silence in the air. You didn’t talk about anything special - most of it turned into him being endearingly aggravating - but you noted that you liked his voice. 

When you got there, Haechan passed you a pretty pink helmet and told you, “I bought this for you. I hope you like pink. You gave me a pink girl vibe.”

“Because you’re just so good at knowing what vibes I give off,” you deadpanned, realizing this was the second time he had told you what vibes you gave him. And had been correct. 

Haechan didn't do shit but smirk. “Well?”

You sighed. “I love pink,” you admitted, attempting to put it on. 

Your confession made him grin even broader, but instead of teasing you, Haechan opted to help you put the helmet on correctly. “You a virgin?”

The use of that word made you shudder a little bit in surprise, but you quickly realized what he meant. 

Your faltering didn’t go unnoticed by Haechan, no matter how brief. “I meant a motorcycle virgin,” he added.

“I know,” you replied, chuckling. “And yup. Nobody has ever taken me for a spin on a daredevil before.”

“I’m glad to have taken your motorcycle virginity,” replied Haechan, stepping back after clasping your helmet. “Ready, babe?”

Your voice wavered, “Sort of.”

Haechan mounted his bike and gestured for you to mimic him. When you were straddling the seat, he gently steered your hands around his waist. “Don’t be scared. You’ll be fine as long as you hold onto me really, really tight.”

You narrowed your eyes. “And you liking me touching you has nothing to do with it?”

“Those are the pros.”

“And what else are the pros?”

“On a motorcycle, we get to dodge all the traffic,” Haechan replied with a grin, securing his own helmet. “Now, like I said, hold on tight.”

You did as told, tightly clasping your arms around his waist and holding on for dear life when you felt the motorcycle jerk alive underneath your shared weight. 

And it was exhilarating, flying past the city lights at the speed of light itself and watching splashes of color bleed into each other. You could feel the wind on your face and whip through your hair. You found yourself laughing as Haechan quite literally took you on the ride of your life. 

He weaved in and out of lanes adroitly, avoiding stationary cars with a technique only years of training could upskill. Which was reassuring. You weren’t sitting on the back of the bike of a total amateur. 

Hearing your noises of excitement made Haechan crack a broad smile. She likes it, he thought smugly. It was a step up from the night he met you and he would gladly take any tiny accomplishment. He couldn’t wait to see the look on the boys faces when he popped up with you in tow. No one believed him when he said he’d scored a date with you. 

Well, of course Ryujin did, because she saw the whole thing go down. But she wouldn’t support him nor deny that he had snagged you. So it would be a huge surprise. 

With some minutes of driving out of the way, you and Haechan finally dismounted his bike, arriving just shy of Jaemin’s house. You both caught your breath for a second, leaving your helmets behind. When you knocked on the door, a man you obviously had never seen before answered, a cup in hand. He saw you and his features instantly twisted with surprise. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he muttered under his breath. 

“I told you so,” were the first words to leave Haechan’s mouth. 

Jeno stepped aside, making room for you. And ignoring his friend. “Come on in, beautiful. The party’s just getting started.”

You weren’t wooed by the pet name, which made Haechan snicker as he walked inside the party, arm locked with yours. 

The look of surprise on everyone’s faces did not go unnoticed by you and you quickly turned to Haechan, asking, “Did you not tell your friends I was coming?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t shut up about it. We just didn’t believe him,” Jaemin answered for your date, shock promptly fading into amusement. He held out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Jaemin. The host of this shitshow.”

You kindly shook hands with him and told him your name. “Nice to meet you.”

Haechan took over from there and pointed to his friends in the order that they appeared on the couch as he introduced, “Winter, Ryujin, Mark. And I guess the fuckward that opened the door for you is Jeno.”

Jeno lifted his middle finger. “Oh, fuck you, Haechan.”

“Love you too, man,” Haechan replied smugly, ushering you to the couch. 

In little to no time, you were socializing with Haechan’s clique as if you’d been good friends for ages. None of them made you feel like an imposter, which you appreciated. Jaemin and his girlfriend Winter, who was sitting squarely on his lap, encouraged you to get comfortable. You felt right at home, laughing at their shenanigans. Many of which were Haechan’s, who was quite the shit-stirrer and troublemaker. You weren’t at all surprised. He screamed chaos. 

His friends had a noteworthy amount of individuality and magnetism too. Jeno was everything you thought Haechan would be, but hilarious. Maybe even charming depending on who you asked. He liked taking turns hurling insults with Haechan. They were like brothers. 

Jaemin and Winter were absolutely smitten with each other and were insufferable when apart, but grossly cute together. She was glued to his lap most of the time, but added a unique sense of humor to the conversation in between kisses. 

Ryujin and Mark were mortal enemies and couldn’t go a half second without bickering and endless banter, but they were a killer Spades duo and gave you and Haechan a run for your money. Their similarities to an old married couple were reminiscent of your grandparents and you made a mental note to check on your grandmother later.

“Talking to yourself is not weird,” Mark whined some hours later. 

Ryujin shot, “Maybe on whatever planet you come from.”

The pack (and you admittedly) let out a laugh at poor Mark’s expense. 

Jaemin set down his drink and took a hit from the joint you had all started to pass around not too long ago. Everybody was at least a little buzzed by now except for Haechan, which surprised you. You didn’t expect him to be responsible. “Okay, okay. Chill. Every man deserves to give himself a good pep talk in the mirror.”

“Okay, so are we talking pep talks or having full-blown conversations with yourself?” asked Jeno. 

Winter turned to Jaemin and asked, “You give yourself pep talks?”

Jaemin bobbed his head. “Sometimes,” he said. “Like when I asked you out. I gave myself a long speech of encouragement.”

Ryujin furrowed her brows. “Didn’t she say ‘no’ the first time you asked her out?”

Everybody laughed. 

Haechan turned to you and explained, “Jaemin asked Winter out in our freshman year of college in the courtyard. He pulled out all the stops - flowers, chocolates, the whole nine. She rejected him and the whole campus talked about it for weeks.”

“I thought he was so weird!” Winter exclaimed. 

“She thought Jaemin was weird. Jaemin talked to himself. I’m connecting the dots,” quipped Ryujin, passing the joint.  

Mark hissed, “You didn’t connect shit.”

“I’m connecting them.”

Jeno pointed to you with his drink. “What about you? Do you talk to yourself?”

“Sometimes,” you admitted. 

Mark leapt up and exclaimed, “Yes!”

“But only when I’m self-deprecating.”

“Oh,” Mark replied darkly. Ryujin had to tug him back down. 

Haechan grabbed your hand and said sweetly, “Never talk to yourself.”

You rolled your eyes. He was such a flirt. Maybe you were starting to like it. 

Some more colorful banter later, Haechan decided to connect his phone to Jaemin’s bluetooth speaker and everybody got up to bust a move to his wonderful music selection. He volunteered his hand and you took it gladly, in a world of your own as you each danced. 

Haechan quickly became talented at making you laugh. He shimmied his hips in a very, very unattractive way and you almost snorted. “You know,” Haechan started a couple minutes later, your bodies much closer. “I can’t shake the feeling that you’re really familiar. Like I’ve seen you before.”

You shrugged. “Maybe. I do modeling.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hm,” you hummed. Your faces were dangerously close. One wrong move and your lips would be touching. “Mainly in New York, but I’ve decided to come here for a fresh start.”

Surprise was Haechan’s initial reaction, but he quickly responded, “That checks out. You are breathtaking, after all.”

You groaned. “It’s like you have some compulsion to flirt with me.”

“I do,” Haechan replied with a grin. “I’ll keel over and die if I don’t flirt with you.”

That checks out, you were tempted to mock, but instead you mimicked monotonously, “Must flirt. Will self-destruct if I don’t flirt.”

Haechan laughed loudly and you smiled at the sound of him. As the night carried on, you were finding less and less to dislike about him. He also only got even handsomer at this range. You could see every little detail on his pretty boy face. 

Needless to say, Haechan was also hyper aware of the lack of distance between your faces and bodies. His eyes kept flitting to your plump lips and all he could think about was how kissable they were. “I think it’s really interesting that you’re a model,” he began. 

You casted him a glance. “Why?”

“Because I’m a photographer.”

“Really?” you asked, somewhat shocked. 

Haechan bobbed his head. “Mm-hm. My whole life kinda. It’s my passion.”

“Interesting,” you replied, though it wasn’t a lie. You were thinking over his admission. He was splurging your assumptions of him, dime by fucking dime. Haechan screamed spoiled rich kid at first glance and you’d doubted that he even had a job. 

“Tell me something else about you,” Haechan said, locking eyes with you and doing his best to keep them there. You tested the limits of his self-control and he didn’t know whether he liked it or not. 

“Like what?”

Haechan shrugged. “Anything.”

You thought long and hard about it. His weighty stare didn’t help in the slightest. After a minute you confessed, “I like cheesy movies.”

His eyes flickered with surprise. “Seriously?”

You smiled coyly and replied, “Yes. It’s a character flaw, I know.”

“Wow,” he said, shaking his head. “The model with an attitude that collects vinyls as a hobby likes cheesy movies. You amaze me, you know.”

You gasped. “I do not have an attitude!”

“You have lots of attitude, baby. Snark for days. And I love every minute of it,” flirted Haechan for the umpteenth time this night alone. 

You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you kept them on his face, realizing again how good-looking he was. His lips were calling your name and you wondered if they were as soft as they looked. “Relax,” you said, feeling your hold on the reins slacken. You didn’t like it not one bit. “I’m only going out with you because I want that Michael vinyl.”

Haechan seemingly didn’t take offense to that and replied, “I know, but I thought that maybe if we went out on a date you would realize there’s actually a lot to like about me.”

You had already reached that conclusion on your own, feeling yourself become attracted to Haechan the longer you spent time with him, but your heart had intricate security and you were in no way inclined to let your guard down. 

“Like what?”

Haechan didn’t waste a second on hesitation. “We have similar music tastes. We both like cheesy movies. I’m a photographer. You’re a model. I mean, come on. We go together like pancakes and syrup, baby.”

Him likening you both to pancakes and syrup made you snort. “Is that the best analogy you could come up with?” you asked. 

“Cut me some slack,” Haechan groaned. “The last time I ate was ten this morning. I’m starving.”

You laughed. 

He squeezed your hand affectionately and said, “Speaking of which, there’s a diner down the block that serves really good pancakes. I can vouch. Wanna go grab some?”

You pretended to mull it over and eventually replied, “I would like that.”

Haechan sported a victorious grin before disclosing to his clique that the two of you would be seeing yourselves out. Ryujin bid you goodnight and Winter pouted, asking when she would see you again. You and your date barely managed to escape the party, slipping outside into the cold after a solid five minutes. 

The sky looked a little darker now, the city a little brighter. Time really did fly by when you were having fun. Among other things. “C’mon,” Haechan said, grabbing your hand. And you both held hands as he walked you to his parked bike. 

The diner was bare, given the early hour as the clock transcended past midnight, but the food was delightful as promised. Only a pair of employees were working their shifts, but you and Haechan tried to keep it down as you talked over an early breakfast in the booth. 

Which failed tremendously. Haechan was just so hilarious. Your laughter rang out through the breakfast joint in spite of how much you constantly reminded yourself to be quiet. You weren’t even paying attention to the pair of co-workers increasingly losing the will to live. You and Haechan talked about everything under the sun. The city and its shallow. Work and speeding vehicles. The best spots in the entire city. Your heart sped like how it did when you were speeding on his bike. 

“Your friends are cool,” you told him after a while. 

“But I’m cooler, right?” Haechan asked jokingly, earning a roll of your eyes. 

You picked up your coffee and droned, “Very.”

Haechan laughed playfully but sobered a little to confess, “I’m glad I met them. It’s kill or be killed in this city. It’s hard to find people that don’t share the same three superficial personalities.”

“Oh?”

He bobbed his head. “Yeah. It’s brutal.”

“Tell me about them.”

“Shit, where do I even start?” Haechan said, chuckling a little, but soon finding the answer to his question. “Jaemin is a complete geek. Don’t be fooled by his looks. There’s a reason Winter turned him down the first time, but he’s a chill dude that doesn’t bother anybody. He’s studying to be an engineer.”

That surprised you and tempted you to laugh. “Really?”

“Yup. Ironically, he’s probably the most regular person out of all of us. He doesn’t like to draw attention to himself,” Haechan ranted, pausing to sip from his drink. “Winter is the complete opposite. She’s a model, like you. Been in Vogue. When she’s not feeling up Jaemin, she loves to tend to her garden.”

So that explained the abundance of flowers in their front yard. It was vibrant plant galore. They looked nurtured, obviously a lot of love was being put into taking care of them and keeping them healthy. 

Haechan continued, “Ryujin is a unique blend of art kid and debate club survivor. She works part-time at the record store obviously, but she has big hopes for her paintings. She’s really talented.”

You were genuinely intrigued. “Wow. I would love to see her art.”

“That painting in Jaemin and Winter’s living room is hers. It was a housewarming gift when they moved in together,” Haechan told you like he was giving you the inside scoop. “Mark is a single pringle with way too much time on his hands, but he makes great music. He wants to be a famous rapper.”

“Mark and Ryujin aren’t boning?”

Haechan snickered loudly, shaking his head. “Nope. They’re like brother and sister. Ryujin has a boyfriend, but they’re dating long distance. He lives in Chicago or something like that.”

You made a face. “Commitment. That’s impressive. I respect it.”

“Yeah, same. I couldn’t handle it. I need too much stimulation for that shit,” Haechan said. 

“Hypothetically, you wouldn’t be willing to make it work for me?”

Haechan thought over his answer, chewing over his words. “I would at least try,” he told you admittedly. “But I can’t say for sure I could make it work.”

You admired his bluntness. His ability to be straightforward was something you genuinely respected. You knew he wanted to impress you, but on top of all that and his acute need for humor, Haechan was incredibly honest. Unlike somebody you knew. 

Curiously, you cocked your head, realizing you were missing somebody. “What about Jeno?” you asked. 

“What about him?”

You cocked a brow. “You were telling me about your friends?”

Haechan made a face of remembrance. “Oh, right. Jeno is single, but Giacomo Casanova reincarnated. He could have been written by Shakespeare. Another aspiring model.”

Why aren’t you a model? You took one good goddamn look at Haechan and not very subtly licked your lips until they were dry. He was so breathtaking. You couldn’t believe he was the man behind the camera. “You’re kinda handsome, you know,” you admitted. 

Haechan snickered. He hadn’t expected those words to come out of your mouth, but with how you were unabashedly checking him out, it was no secret you found him attractive. “Is that what you gathered from what I said?”

“No. I gathered that you’re fine enough to be a model and yet you are not. I think you even have the charisma,” you told him blatantly. “Why stand behind the camera?”

Haechan shrugged. Feigning nonchalance. “That’s just who I am,” he said. 

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” he replied with zero hesitation. 

You shot him a smile. “Then, I guess that’s all that matters.”

Haechan nodded in agreement. He wouldn’t trade his job for the world. He liked being able to do his favorite hobby for a living. Not everybody had that luxury. You were the same way, but damn it you couldn’t take it off your mind how Haechan looked straight out of a magazine. You had seen hundreds of handsome men in your lifetime, far and up close, but he took the cake.

It was hard to believe Haechan was anything but a casanova himself, considering your first impression of him was that he was a player trying to get into your pants. Which was fair because he was, and he couldn’t deny that. But in spite of his good looks, magnetic personality and charisma, Haechan had some admirable personality traits. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, accusing, and asked, “What do you think about debauchery?”

There you went with the random statements and questions again. Haechan snorted, leaned back in his seat, and replied silkily, “I am quite the debaucher.” 

“You mean debauchee,” you corrected. 

Haechan groaned, “Who gives a fuck? I love pussy.”

You snorted back a laugh. Again, honesty. Noted. 

Haechan finished what was left of his pancakes in one final bite and chewed without any particular rush. “Listen, if you’re asking me this because you think I’m a player, you’ve got the wrong guy,” he said eventually.

Your mind was racing. You were plagued by doubts. “Do I?”

“You do.” Haechan dropped his fork, reaching for a napkin. Then, he added, “I fuck. I fool around. I’m not gonna lie and act like I’m a fucking prude. But when I’m tied down, I get tunnel vision.”

“Something tells me you’re not tied down often,” you remarked, never taking your eyes off of him. 

Haechan met your stare and shot back, “Something tells me you don’t like being tied down.”

He caught you there. You wanted to be upset, but you couldn’t. Not when he was so right about you already. “I don’t mind being in a relationship but… I don’t like it when men act as if a woman being in a relationship should deprive her of her individuality. I want to be independent.”

“Then, we’re the same in that regard,” he replied, grinning at you. “I would never try to control you or anything like that. You’re a grown ass woman and I’m a grown ass man. I just hate feeling stagnant and I need constant stimulation. Hypothetically, could you handle that?”

You pretended to mull it over. “Yeah.” You nodded your head. “I could.”

Haechan grinned wildly. He was liking where this was going. And he definitely wanted to see you again. Little did he know, you felt the exact same way.

Haechan checked his watch and frowned. “It’s late. I should take you back home.”

You quipped, “What kind of grown ass man has a curfew?”

Haechan snickered and started to tidy up his things. 

You left the diner a couple minutes later, hopping back on Haechan’s sexy motorbike. He drove you through the city, besotted with how your arms felt wrapped so tightly around his waist as he sped through the night. 

When he dropped you off at your doorstep, fingers laced through yours the entire trip there, something bittersweet came over you. You didn’t want the night to be over. Haechan had won you over in just one night alone. 

“I guess this is goodbye,” you said when you’d reached your door. 

“Goodbye for now,” Haechan corrected you, smirking. He could hear the sadness in your tone you tried to veil. “By the way, I’m free tomorrow. You can swing by my place to pick up the vinyl. I’ll text you my address.”

Confusion twisted your features for the briefest second before you remembered the reason you’d even agreed to go out on a date with him in the first place. You had forgotten all about your record collection. “Sounds great,” you chirped, reluctantly taking your keys from your purse. You were glad you would finally get your hands on the vinyl, though still crestfallen that he had to leave. 

Haechan didn’t want to leave until he was certain you were safely inside your condo and he heard the door lock, but you surprised him when you unlocked your door and turned around to say, “I had a really great time tonight.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m glad.”

You pointed inside your place with your thumb. “Do you… wanna come inside?”

It was no secret what that meant. You wanted to fool around with him, there was no doubt. “I shouldn’t,” Haechan said. 

Not that he didn’t want to. But it was the first date and he didn’t want to seem like he was only after one thing.

The disappointment on your face was noticeable, but you forced a smile. “Right. You probably shouldn’t.”

Something told Haechan to bid you goodnight and leave it at that, but then he thought, Who the fuck am I kidding? And with all his self-restraint parked squarely beside his bike, he smashed his lips against yours. 

Your first instinct was to be surprised, but then you kissed him back just as hard. Fuck, you had been resisting the urge the whole evening. It was so satisfying to finally know what his lips felt like pressed to yours like a mold. You lost your mind a little at how romantic his kisses were. They were hard, but slow. You met him halfway, feeling something shift in your body as the kiss steadily grew more and more heated. And you couldn’t fight the heat that wafted over you as his hands kneaded your hips. 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’s a great kisser, you screamed internally. It drove you mad. It made you crazy with burning ache. 

Naturally, Haechan ultimately ended up slipping past your doorway, locking it shut behind him and kissing you through the hallways. “Bedroom?” he asked between kisses. 

You pointed, although you were losing your sense of direction as you became drunk with the taste of him. You panted, “Over there.”

Each of you were both half-naked by the time you charged through your bedroom door. You were reduced to your underwear, your clothes scattered across the hallway in your wake. Haechan pulled you towards your bed, collapsing over you as your lips synced messily. 

His warmth made you moan, little noises escaping you at the meeting of your bodies, skin to skin. Then, his lips attached to your throat, sinking lower and lower until you could feel his breath at your abdomen. “Can I taste this wet fucking pussy?” Haechan growled while flitting his gaze to your eyes. 

One look at him between your thighs and you were tightening around nothing. There was no reason that should have been as attractive as it was. Please, your body begged. “Are you any good?” you asked. 

Haechan cocked a brow at you and chuckled, reaching for some pillows to hand over to you. “Get comfortable,” were his only words. 

You tucked the pillows he passed you underneath your elbows obediently and lifted your hips. Haechan started to slip your panties off, pulling them right down your ankles before they were tossed into oblivion. All it took was a single glance at your bare cunt for Haechan to dive between your legs. He gripped your thighs, spreading them apart and holding them in place. Your thighs were plush and it was no doubt he liked the way they fit in his palms. 

Haechan spent a moment wandering, just getting a feel for what made you tick. Not a bunch of time was wasted idly and he caught on quickly, reducing you to moans and squirming quicker than anybody before him. It was infuriating. His hold on your thighs tightened, keeping you rooted and still. You bit your lip, trying to smother the sound of your soft sounds in an endeavor to wipe the smug look off his wet lips, but to no avail.

Haechan was eating you out like he just couldn’t get enough of you. Which wasn’t far from the truth at all. Your moans were pornographic and made him crazy with a burning, all-consuming flavor of lust. You covered your mouth flat with your palm, tense when he sucked your clit, moaning, “Fuck,” into your own hand. 

You were already unbelievably sensitive. Maybe because it had been a while since you’d had sex. I’m so busy, you thought. Work had taken priority in your life. In between being pursued by Haechan, you were also becoming high-demand in shoots. None of that changed the fact you’d been maybe subconsciously hoping that this would happen though. You even shaved in the shower just before throwing on your clothes. 

Your whole body was unstill. You clenched your hands into fists, over and over again, before finally letting yourself run your fingers through his dark hair. His lips felt so good, tracing the skin around your thigh. He was disarming you. Slowly but surely. Or maybe not that slowly at all. 

“Haechan, shit. Fuck,” you cursed, your tongue tied in knots. Nothing could articulate how he was making you feel, how the walls of ice around you were collapsing in on themselves.

Haechan merely groaned against your cunt with a mouthful of pussy and the noise was powerful enough to kill you. You were already seeing god. 

Your back arched off the mattress, your hips driving into his face. You couldn’t get enough either. He was making you greedy and you didn’t even understand what for. All you knew was that you wanted him and the attraction was so fervent it was undeniable now. The boy between your thighs had a mutual thought. The room was a hundred degrees hotter than it had been before, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t feel the heat from the outside, too engrossed with how besotted and hot for you he was internally.

He was going to get you to climax even if it was the last thing he did, not that you were far from finishing. And when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any better, he stuffed a pair of fingers inside your pussy. 

The bedroom was too hot to breathe in. You kept panting, kept crying out Haechan’s name, pulling at his locks of hair as you pleased. And he let you. Your body was so indecisive, arching into him but flexing away involuntarily, as if it couldn’t decide what it wanted. 

“Don’t stop. Please,” you cried out. 

Your body only knew him right now, on the verge of going numb because of how sensitive and swollen your clit was. Haechan did the opposite of slow down. He was undeterred and absolutely nothing would stop him from bringing you to climax while he went down on you like a madman. You could feel the heat gathering in your thigh, like it would consume you at any given moment. 

It was practically over for you when he continued to finger your sweet spot, dragging his fingers in and out of your perfect cunt. You were a whirlwind of excitement, less and less able to keep still the longer he sucked and fucked, and touched on you. You could feel sweat on your back and chest. “I’m gonna cum,” you warned. 

“Cum,” Haechan told you, voice a little deeper. “I want you to cum, baby.”

The pressure was building. And it kept coming. There were no peaks, no limits. Like steady rainfall in the forest. 

You cried out his name one last time before your orgasm got the best of you, making you shudder and shake, and tangle your fingers deeper into his head of hair. The whole world stopped for a second. But Haechan kept tasting you through your climax, not stopping until it was over. You arched off the bed, too many sensations hitting you at once. 

When the last of your high faded your back hit the mattress with a thud. You were completely out of breath, a couple of tears forming a shroud in your eyes while they gathered at your lashes. You were finally broken. 

But with your permission, Haechan went down on you one final time after that. For safe measure. Haechan finally pulled back once you’d cum for a second time, meeting your stare, but the eye contact only lasted for a couple of seconds because you couldn’t take yours off of his slick lips. He licked your release nonchalantly and something primal took over you. You were feeling less and less like a woman. More like a beast.

Haechan, grinning to himself as he took notice of how defeated you looked, cocked his brow at you expectantly. “So?” 

Ah. You had asked him if he was any good. “Mind numb,” you panted. “Can’t think.”

Haechan laughed. Feeling a little less lethargic than before, you clambered over to him, tugging at his boxers. You could see the print of his hard dick against it. 

“Someone’s impatient,” Haechan teased. 

“Someone’s not moving fast enough,” you shot back, pulling them down for him to step out of. You gawked, licking your lips at the sight. Fuck, he was huge. You should’ve known. 

You glanced up at him with a little glimmer in your eyes, asking, “Can I suck you off?” 

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” you replied, your lips dry from how much your tongue passed over them. He was just so fucking mouth-watering. You wanted a taste badly. 

There was no way Haechan could tell you no when you looked at him with that sexy gleam in your eyes. Plus he wasn’t at all against feeling your mouth on his dick. “Alright,” he said, playing nonchalant. 

Haechan moved to sit on your bed and you crept between his thighs, sitting on your knees. You spat in your hand and grabbed his dick, only pumping him in your fist for the meanwhile. 

Then, you slowly transitioned into swirling your tongue around his dick, though not yet drawing him inside your mouth. You were toying with him, trying to see how much he could take, and Haechan realized very quickly that you were pushing his buttons. Which was strange. That was his thing. But he kinda liked it. 

A high-pitched moan left him when you finally - fucking finally - started to take him past your lips, hollowing your cheeks, and he fisted your hair behind you. Giving you a full scan, Haechan realized how sexy you looked sucking him off, kneeled between his legs with that sexy ass stare in your eyes gazing up at him. You must have known it was his kryptonite. 

And you did. Meeting his stare, you could read him just by looking at his handsome face. It was your time to be a smug little bitch. You wanted to break him, just like he had broken you. “Fuck, baby. Like that,” Haechan grunted, throwing his head back. Which meant you must have been doing something right.

You were feeling benevolent and took him deeper inside your mouth while wrapping your fist around whatever was still available. There were many sensations on his dick and it was doing something inexplicably unhinged to his brain. 

One look at his face made you feel extremely accomplished. His features were tensed and his lips were parted. I’ll suck the soul outta that dick any day to see that face, you thought very amusedly to yourself, resisting a chuckle. 

You pried yourself away for a while, still looking into his eyes, and taunted, “Too much for you, baby boy?”

“Never,” Haechan retorted, voice airy and light. Like he was on some fucking cloud. 

You lifted a brow, amused, though in that case, decided it was time to up the stakes. You sucked him a little faster, taking him a little further until he hit the back of your throat. Very eager and deliberate. 

Haechan was losing whatever was left of his goddamn mind. His thighs trembled, cock twitching inside your mouth. You were doing unspeakable things to him right now and he was absolutely obsessed. Your tongue touched the base of his dick and your free hand squeezed his bare thigh. God-fucking-damn, was all Haechan could think. Literally. His mind was numb, thanks to you. In a matter of minutes, his legs would probably be as well.  

A couple of tears gathered in your eyes, but you willed yourself to power through. You couldn’t be finished until he was finished. You were way too resolved to make him unravel. At the sensation of your warm mouth, Haechan whimpered, “Fuck,” grabbing and using your hair. 

His sounds were just so fucking hot. You wanted to record them so that you could put them on loop. Arousal seeped between your thighs, but you ignored it, just for his sake. 

Some time had passed since your last blowjob. It was good to know that your mouth was still spectacular, if his sensitive movements and high-pitched moans were any indicator. You squeezed your thighs together. There was throbbing between your legs. Mutual chaos. Mutual destruction. The two of you were a very, very unlikely duo.

Haechan was warm to the touch everywhere you touched him, blood circulating through him swiftly like a Shanghai maglev. You traced your fingers up and down his thighs, giving them a little pinch, and were surprised to find he was incredibly pliant. You little freak, you thought teasingly. You jotted down a mental note to playfully scold him later, too concentrated on stringing him to climax. 

The male before you looked a total of seconds away from malfunctioning altogether. You were making short work of him like no other girl and it was giving him much to think about.

Your nails found purchase in his thigh, dragging your nails down the flesh and leaving little red lines, just before you brought one of your hands to his cock again. You’d been pulling out all the stops to chase him closer to the finish. Every other thought on your mind vanished as you fixed all of your attention on making him cum. Haechan had the same thought, involuntarily bucking his hips as he tried to fuck your mouth.

You let him control the pace, let him do whatever he needed to finish. You moaned around his shaft again, sending vibrations that shook him. A little longer and he wouldn’t last. 

“I’m coming. Shit, babe. Keep going…,” he mumbled, winding his fingers through your scalp again. His pace was erratic. It was all you could do not to choke, giving him permission to use you to get himself off. And it was too fucking hot. You were in disbelief. 

Haechan tried to be careful, not wanting to trouble you, but you knew what you were doing and he couldn’t exactly control his impulses. His impulses controlled him. You sucked and swallowed, all good and pliant. 

Seconds later, Haechan was orgasming, painting the back of your throat with cum. His thighs shook and you could physically feel his dick twitch inside your mouth as he released. He moaned your name loud enough to wake the neighbors. 

You took as much of his load as you could fit inside your mouth, but as it turned out, Haechan came a lot. Some dripped from your chin and you wiped it with the back of your hand. When he let go of your hair, you pulled back, just watching your handiwork smugly. You mocked, “So?”

Haechan blinked, like it would clear the invisible haze. He was barely handling the stimulation. You were undoubtedly one of the best he’d ever had and he was officially sprung with you. “High fucking hell,” he groaned. 

You giggled. That was answer enough. 

For an uncertain amount of hours (nobody was counting), you and Haechan took turns finishing each other, even sixty-nining once or twice till you needed a break. 

“Okay, timeout. I can’t feel my dick,” Haechan sighed after a while, surprising himself. Usually, he wore other people out. Not the other way around, but the two of you were in a competition to see who could exhaust the other first. Haechan realized then and there that you were matching his energy and it shocked the hell out of him, because that was a first. He was even more interested in you now. 

You chortled and collapsed on the bed. You were also having some revelations, but you kept them to yourself. He hasn’t even asked to put his dick in me, you realized after a moment. He was definitely a pussy fiend, but he hadn’t even fucked you and it’d been ages. 

That was a first. 

You held your chin in your face while staring at him. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

Haechan looked high as hell and he hadn’t done a single drug in your presence. “Not as we speak,” he replied quietly. “Other than playing pool with Jaemin later and giving you that vinyl, I don’t exactly have plans.”

“You should still rest,” you told him assertively. “Do you wanna stay the night?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

You smiled, resisting a squeal to contain your excitement. You patted the spot beside you, gesturing for him to come over. Which he did. “Goodnight,” you whispered.

“Goodnight, beautiful,” Haechan said, blowing a kiss your way.

You rolled your eyes, but quickly devolved into giggles and tangled yourself in his arms. 

Sleep came easy for you that night and had you not forgotten to turn off your alarm, you would have slept past noon. You could feel the sunlight on your face and flipped over, desperate to escape its brightness. 

That was when the memories of last night slammed into you like an eighteen-wheeler. Haechan’s fingers tangled in your hair and his mouth between your legs. Sleep had sobered you, the inebriety of lust distant, save for the ache that lingered in your thigh. Your heart fluttered for a second, but it was gone the second you noticed the man you’d spent all night with had disappeared, his arms no longer thrown around your waist. 

You started to worry then. There was no note on your nightstand. You immediately grabbed your phone from your bedside table, hopeful of finding some sort of message, but Haechan didn’t even have the courtesy to leave a text or voicemail. Bitterness seeped into your chest as you assumed the worst. He’s had his fun and now he’s done, you thought disdainfully. Why you expected him to be any different was beyond you. 

You threw on your robe and slipped on your slippers before stomping downstairs, full of attitude in large quantities. Maybe it was for the better that you didn’t exactly let him hit. But you still felt stupid, because you would have. If he would have asked. 

But he didn’t. 

Thoughts of hunger broke your reverie when you smelled eggs from the kitchen, which was strange, because you were certain that nobody was there. You grabbed a vase off a nearby table and approached the kitchen with slow, cautious strides. 

A part of you hoped it was only Haechan, but surely enough, you were taken aback when you got an amazing view of his back while he faced your stove. 

Haechan is here - and he’s cooking? 

You shook your head. This man was full of surprises. 

Haechan was none the wiser, humming to himself, and didn’t even realize you were present until he turned around to grab something from the island. “Good morning,” he said sweetly. He pointed to the vase in your hands. “Thought I was a killer?”

“You scared the shit out of me,” you sighed, walking over to the island and sitting the vase down. 

Haechan grinned. “Why - you didn’t think I was gonna still be here?”

You didn’t have to answer that question. And you wouldn’t be. You didn’t like that he saw through you so clearly, it made you feel transparent. Changing the topic, you asked, “What you cooking?”

“Omelets,” he replied nonchalantly, fixed to the stove again. “I know we technically had breakfast not too long ago, but I saw how much you liked omelets.”

Something fluttered in your chest. It was sweet, dare you say. 

“That’s really thoughtful of you,” you whispered, getting comfortable at the island. 

“I’m a thoughtful guy.”

“That you are.”

Comfortable silence enveloped you in its wholeness. For the first time since you met him, if it was worth noting. Neither of you liked the quiet very much - silence gave too much room for thinking - but you didn’t mind it right now.

Haechan slipped a steaming omelet from the pan to your plate masterfully, handing you a knife and fork. You opened your mouth to thank him, but he beat you, finally starting, “Speaking of thinking, I been, well, thinking. And I need you to not go ghost on me after this.”

Your eyes flickered, but you glanced at your plate to hide your surprise, cutting off a morsel. “Why would I do that?” you asked. 

Haechan shrugged his shoulders, but ranted, “I just hate when you think shit tight with a girl, and then after you hook up, they don’t wanna keep in touch anymore.”

“Huh,” you mumbled. “Funny. I feel the same way.”

Haechan took the seat beside you. His eyes met yours, something sober in them. “I say all of this to say that I like where this is going and I want to see you again. But if you’re not on the same page, let me know right now.”

“I’m on the same page.”

He pressed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Haechan,” you replied, setting down your knife. “If I didn’t want to keep seeing you after this, I would tell you in no uncertain terms. I’m having fun.”

Haechan nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you repeated. “This is really, really good, by the way. Where’d you learn to cook?”

The boyish smile was back on Haechan’s handsome face. “Everything I know I owe to my parents,” he said. “This particularly to my mother.”

You taunted, “Ah. You a Momma’s boy?”

Haechan chuckled. “Something like that, yeah.”

Almost endearing. You got a mental picture of a tiny Haechan peaking around the corner, watching his mother cook, and it brought a smile to your lips. 

Both of you talked over breakfast. You got orange juice out of the fridge for you to drink and spent what was left of the morning chattering incessantly. You finally accepted that you liked Haechan. Maybe unconsciously, you’d been fighting it because of your ex. 

As of now, you were playing tug-of-war with your heart. On the one hand, there was a part of you that lingered over him and it still felt forbidden to be interested in other men. But one swift reminder that he was interested in other girls while apparently being interested in you, and all the feelings you had for him dissolved into resentment. 

Plus you weren’t exactly ready for another relationship, nor did you completely trust Haechan yet, but on the other hand, he made you forget all about the bastard that hurt you. And how it felt to be hurt. 

Needless to say, you would be seeing him again. Haechan made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

You were sad when he had to leave, picking up his clothes that were scattered across your entire condo and redressing himself, but gladly kissed him goodbye. On the cheek. For various reasons.

Besides, you would be seeing him later on that day anyways. You both had things to take care of. 

Chaewon was sporting the biggest smile you’d ever seen when you climbed into the back of the taxi with her. You expected a stern reprimanding, given that you hadn’t returned any of her calls or texts since last night, but somehow this was worse.

“Don’t even,” was the first thing you said when you entered the backseat. 

Chaewon grinned mischievously, singing, “You’re glowing.”

“Yes. There’s this cool thing called a skin care routine. You may have heard of it,” you deadpanned. 

Chaewon wriggled her eyebrows. “Does this skin care routine consist of Lee Haechan’s semen?”

You grimaced. “Gross.”

“You guys totally boned, didn’t you?” she asked. Though it was less of a question and more of a declaration. You hoped the driver was tuning both of you out.

“Jesus, Chae. Good morning to you, too,” you replied boredly. 

“Good morning, bestie. Now did you or did not you bone Haechan?”

You just rolled your eyes. She was relentless. “Okay, fine,” you started, sighing out a little. “We hooked up.”

“I fucking knew it,” Chaewon exclaimed. 

You added sharply, “But we didn’t have sex. It was strictly head.”

Chaewon gave you a look. “Girl, seriously? How was it?”

You pretended to think about it. Memories of last night plagued you. You couldn’t get the image of Haechan strumming you to climax out of your head. You admitted quietly, “He made me see a star or two. Maybe a galaxy. Maybe another universe.”

Chaewon clasped her hands together and made a squealing noise of excitement. 

All you could do was shake your head. But you couldn’t deny that all of your doubts and hesitations about Haechan had been converted into an inexplicable will to see him again. You had an impulse to smile and faced the window so that she couldn’t see. 

“You’re smiling,” Chaewon teased, watching your reflection. 

“I’m not.”

Chaewon nudged you with her elbow. “Come on, girl. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy.”

“I am happy. And I don’t need a man to be happy,” you quickly replied. 

Chaewon frowned. “You know that’s not what I meant. You’ve obviously been down in the dumps since you called off the engagement and I think it’s a good thing you’re letting yourself be a little more lax.”

You let out a disgruntled groan.

Chaewon slipped her fingers through yours and continued, “No one’s saying that you’ve gotta jump the broom. With how hard you’ve worked all these years, you deserve to play.”

“I know, and that’s all he is. We’re just playing around,” you assured her in spite of the fact that nobody questioned it in the first place. “We’re just kickin’ it.”

Chaewon squeezed your hand. 

Meanwhile, Haechan was across town with a friend of his own. 

“I’ve got a question for you, man,” Haechan started after a total of three minutes of silence. 

Jaemin slung his head back and whined, “Oh, brother.”

He had seen it coming from a mile away. Haechan treated silence like the black plague and when he wasn’t chatting his friends ears off for every second of every minute, he was thinking. Of course, Jaemin knew his friend well enough, so it was no doubt he had a question. 

Truth be told, Haechan hadn’t stopped thinking about you since he left your condo. The endless hours of chatter, you dancing in his arms, the sex. All of it was giving him a lot of shit to ponder. 

“It’s been weighing on my mind for a while,” he continued, choosing his words carefully. “Do you think you’re with the someone you’re meant to be with?”

“You mean like my soulmate?”

Haechan gave him a nod, although Jaemin was too busy resting the cue between his fingers. “Yeah, like your other half or some shit like that. The one you’ll live for and die with.”

Sparing his friend a couple seconds worth of a glance, Jaemin paused his endeavors and mulled the question over. “You know, not everybody wants to be in love. But everybody wants to be loved,” he began. “People who get in relationships solely to feel loved don’t know what love is.”

“What’s that gotta do with my question?”

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. “I wouldn’t trade the love Winter and I share with each other for the world, but what nobody tells you about love is that it has its fair share of ups and downs. There’s bad days and disagreements. Not everybody wants to deal with that.”

“That’s some profound shit, brother,” Haechan teased. 

“Whatever, man. I’m just saying that the idea that love has no bounds is false. I’d give my life for Winter and I wanna marry her someday, but we’ve both got boundaries because love is mutual respect.”

Haechan’s mind was adrift again. He was thinking.

Jaemin connected the dots, blocking the corner pocket with his hand. “Now wait just a second. Don’t tell me this is about that girl.”

Haechan groaned, “What are you doing, man? Can I get my shot?”

“No, no, no. This is about that girl you brought over last night, isn’t it?” Jaemin asked. 

Now, Haechan was officially caught. He heaved a breath, stood to his full height, and said, “You just don’t get it, man. We were talking for hours and she could actually keep up with my bullshit. Not only that, but she understood. Then, I get her in the sheets, and man.”

Jaemin snickered. “I’m guessing it was good?”

“Understatement of the year,” Haechan sighed loudly. “I mean, we didn’t even fuck. She volunteered to suck me off. She left me mind-blown, you hear me? Mind-blown. I can still feel my thighs shaking.”

Jaemin whistled. “Goddamn. So, you think she’s your soulmate?”

“Nah, man,” Haechan replied nonchalantly, setting his cue back on the table. “She’s impressive. That’s all. We’re just kickin’ it. You know I don’t do the whole love thing anymore.”

Jaemin could sniff bullshit from a mile away but shifted his hand. “Alright, man. But when those jones come down,” he started, blunt. “It’s a motherfucker.”

Haechan’s eyes flickered.

[just-a-girl-who-loves-tmr]

Random Tmr Head-canons because it’s been a while since I’ve done this

- We need more appreciation for the idea that it would have taken Newt and Thomas forever to get together. Months and months of pining because they’re both too scared to mess up their friendship.

-Minho being stuck in the middle and having to listen to them both separately, but he just keeps saying ‘I’m sure he feels the same way, just tell him’. And yes, when they finally get together Minho would say ‘I told you so’ at every opportunity.

- In the safe haven, Newt has a small garden outside his and Thomas’ hut, separate from all the greenhouses so he can have a little area to himself

- he started teaching Thomas a bit of gardening but Thomas gets distracted really easily and just ends up sitting next to Newt and yapping while he watches Newt do his gardening

-After Newt and Thomas get together, every one of the gladers personally promise Thomas that if he breaks Newt’s heart then he will be murdered in his sleep. And Thomas just be sitting there like ‘if I break his heart, I’ll kill myself first’

-Thomas is and will forever be that one person who, if they are in the car and they pass by a field of cows or sheep or smth they will shout ‘COWSS!!!!!’ At the top their lungs. If you disagree, you are incorrect :)

-Newt has a really low alcohol tolerance. Like he will have like 5 shots and be completely out of it. Mentioned in another post but he gets soo clingy when he’s drunk. He hangs onto Thomas’s sleeve or arm and will not let go..ever and Thomas has to carry him up to bed

-for the first year or so in the safe haven Newt struggles with insomnia, so he doesn’t sleep well at night, and he and Thomas both get nightmares very often, so they’re lucky if they get 4 hours of sleep. Therefore they spend a lot of the day taking naps together or just cuddling in bed and watching a movie or smth because they are so sleep deprived they don’t feel like doing anything.

[wowowokay]

Alright after forever here are some fic recs!!! (Note at the end like always lolol)

Keepsafes - metroidspeedrun

Okay so ngl haven’t read this in a min like last time I read it they had 55 chapters out now it’s at 91 lolol anyways but it was honestly an amazing fic at least where I left off basically it’s about if Martha and Thomas Wayne survived and what all their lives would be like but it has such amazing writing and it’s just so good!!!

Words: 124,918 Chapters: 91/?

Sparky Sparky Boom Brain - alchemistsarego

Okay I love this one if you’ve looked back at the fic recs I’ve posted you can probably see an abundance of sic fics and this one’s a good one basically Tim Drake gets diagnosed with epilepsy and the fic is him trying to come to terms with it and the whole family trying to help out and it’s just so amazing, amazing writing and pretty realistic when it comes to the seizures in the fic I’ve personally seen and assisted while someone was having seizures multiple times and it’s always a pet peeve of mine when done unrealistic in fics (even though realistically I know most people have never seen a seizure happen in real life) but in this fic the protocol is really accurate from what I’ve experienced sooo yeah definitely give it a read!!!

Words: 71,924 Chapters: 23/23

(Also! It’s just one of a five part series so far but the series is still ongoing!

Note!:

I am so sorry for not posting for so long!! Life honestly just got insane and my depression decided to kick in along with the stress of school and work it just got super difficult but I’m gonna promise y’all a not super consistent schedule but kind of a schedule lolol basically my plan is to post every one to two weeks and my minimum will (hopefully) be two fics a post! I’ll hopefully be able to post more in a couple of months since I’ll be done with school soon and I’ll only be taking one summer course but that will only take me like a month to finish so yay! Hopefully I’ll be able to give y’all lots more fic recs and rambles soon!! Enjoy!!! <3

[bonewaryreblogs]

I’ve decided how Batman meets Danny Phantom.

While connecting characters between DC and DP, I came across the DC villain Pariah, who shares a name with DP villain Pariah Dark. I’ve decided that these two are the same person and fighting him will bring Danny Phantom into contact with Batman, or at least get Danny onto his radar as someone to look into further.

But first, some backstory...

Since we don’t know much about Pariah Dark, other than being sealed away a long time ago, I’ll mostly be pulling his backstory from Kell Mossa, a scientist who accidentally brought his universe to Anti-Monitor’s attention and watched it be destroyed as the only survivor, renamed Pariah by his savior, Monitor (Anti-Monitor’s “good” twin brother). He involuntarily watched Anit-Monitor destroy several other universes, blaming himself for (supposedly) releasing Anti-Monitor, though he is later assured that Anti-Monitor was just doing what he had always done and Pariah had simply diverted his path of destruction. Pariah is dropped off in a random universe, where he tried to live a normal life, though he was constantly drawn to impending disasters that he had no hope of preventing, as no one heeded his warnings (like a mix of Pokemon’s Absol and Greek’s Cassandra); he was killed and revived a few times, only to eventually fall through the cracks of reality and driven insane. Instead of being found by Flash and sent to the “paradise world” called  Earth-Flash.1, Pariah became the first inhabitant of the newly formed Ghost Zone pocket dimension and declared himself the Ghost King, sometimes calling himself Pariah Dark. (He may or may not have connections to the cosmic Great Darkness, I haven’t decided)

Pariah decides to use the ghosts of the Ghost Zone to invade the living realm of Earth but now he needs a lieutenant he can trust...

After turning completely evil, Eclipso was replaced as the Wrath of God (yes, THAT God, cuz apparently He exists in DC) by Aztar, who instead calls himself the Vengeance of God, and is bound to a human host to keep him from turning evil like Eclipso did. He’s had many hosts over the millennia and his most recent host, James “Jim” Corrigan, had been the hero Spectre with Aztar since Jim’s “death” around 1940, but he was getting old and had chosen Detective Crispus Allen of the Gotham Police Department as his replacement in 2005. The ritual to transfer Aztar’s host was interrupted by Pariah Dark and Aztar was “recruited” as Pariah’s lieutenant, killing Jim and leaving Cris unpowered and in distress. Pariah convinces Aztar to join him by promising freedom to choose his own path rather than be tethered to some goodie-two-shoes human and Aztar accepts. Danny is called on to defeat Pariah by the ghosts that don’t want to serve the self-proclaimed King (most of whom end up being Danny’s various Rogues Gallery) and is thrust into leading the resistance; meanwhile Cris enlisted the help of Batman and the rest of the Batclan (and maybe some members of Justice League Dark), who join the resistance as well.

I’m thinking this will be the first big crisis Damian will participate in as Robin, though I’m not sure if I want Duke Thomas (Signal) to have been recruited yet or not; if he has been recruited already, he’s still in training and hasn’t become Signal yet. I’ll get my timeline ironed out for my next post.

Various other connections:

There is a Pandora in both continuities, so after she “accidentally” released the Crime Syndicate (evil JL) into this universe, she decided to move and found the new Ghost Zone to be acceptable, as the inhabitants amused her. She recognized the ectoplasm that saturated the pocket dimension as being related to the Fountain of Life but didn’t bother looking into it or telling anyone because she didn’t want to risk them ruining her fun. She let the Box Ghost steal her box and toyed with Danny before agreeing to help him retrieve it. She could probably take down Pariah on her own but that would be really hard and this resistance thing sounds like more fun than she’s had in ages anyways.

DC Cronus is more-or-less the same as the god from Greek mythology but has also been equated with Chronos, the Greek god of time. After Cronus was imprisoned in Tartarus by the Olympian Gods, Clockwork was given his duties as the God of Time by Hera, loosely working with the Quintessence’ Observants.

Speaking of, DP’s Observants seem to fulfill a similar role as DC’s Quintessence, so I’ve decided that the Quintessence are the gods in control but they employ the Observants to catalogue and categorize events for the Quintessence so they don’t have to do everything themselves. The Observants are the ones who decide what deserves the attention of the gods in charge. I’ll probably have the Quintessence decide the fate of the Ghost Zone after Pariah Dark is defeated.

The Guys in White are an obvious reference to the Men in Black. Looking up various government agencies in the DC Comics, the Bureau of Normalcy (formerly Bureau of Oddities) seems to serve a similar function, so I’ve decided that GiW and BoN are both departments of the larger Department of Extranormal Operations (DEO), where the GiW are specifically focused on eliminating threats from ghostly (and similarly paranormal) origins, while the BoN handles cover-ups and convincing the public that everything is “normal” and work both in the field and in cyber security. BoN people often accompany other agencies to run interference so the other agencies are able to do whatever they need to do without fear of being seen or regular people getting in the way. The GiW was beginning to investigate the uptick of paranormal activity in Amity Park and would have contacted SHADE if they ever discovered Danny Phantom was anything more than an ordinary ghost.

Other departments include Knightwatch (general military enforcement), the Suicide Squad (generally works with Knightwatch, enlisting the aid of established heroes and villains alike, the roster constantly changes), Squad K (which is specifically designed to take out Superman if he ever went rogue), the Super-Human Advanced Defense Executive or SHADE (focused on talent acquisition), Project Cadmus (technically Research and Development, but actually trying to clone heroes for SHADE), the Department of Metahuman Affairs or DMA (the public face of SHADE), and probably others I couldn’t find in my quick search. 

[detectivereads]

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures Vol 4 by CRC Payne & Starbite

100/5 (hahahah this one was gold!)

This post is for Fan entertainment, I’m not being paid.

Now when I am talking to my friend on who in the DC Universe scares me the most, granted I know I said Professor Pyg is up there. But no, number one spot of who scares me the most and I won’t dare cross in a fight is…. Alfred Pennyworth.

Stick with me here I will give my reason, he is an ex-British agent, and he has raised Bruce when both Martha and Thomas died. The man can beat on Superman (yes I know he had help with Bruce and what he did in the Injustice comic series.) and walk away. While Batman has the no kill rule and wont use a gun, Alfred has not made any promise, you threaten his family this guy will rock you.

One of the chapters in this volume proves my point, when it comes to a snowball fight, he will show no mercy to anyone.

But mostly this volume is more funny family times, and how cruel the kids can be to Bruce. Batman got done fighting Condiment King and he needs a new suit. Leave it to Batwoman, Nightwing and Red Hood to pick the legendary Rainbow Batman Suit!!! (We also see some honorable mentions.)

Also, Bruce is not a saint either, Bruce is part of the PTA and after some miscommunication (Yeah right that Marge woman is evil.) Batman has faced down evil villains, and he would not stoop to a level of pettiness that some villain. However, Bruce is not about that, in pure spite and being the richest man in Gotham calls on an army of ice cream trucks to take the dreaded Marge down.

Now I haven’t talk too much about Nightwing/Dick Greyson, but in volume it showed a side that we normal don’t get to see. Dick is normal all smiles and jokes, but when he talks about his old life in the circus, before his parents died and when they did died, he has insecurities about talk about it. That he better than anyone knows how it feels, just like Bruce.

Something that this volume did which I loved was taking a break from the Waynes, we got to spend some time with the Kents. Mainly Conner, Clark and Jon. I am not well versed in the Superman methos so I didn’t know that can’t get their hair cut like earthlings, so they have to laser it off.

Now the ending chapter I just have to say I pity Aquaman.

[fanficsbysteve]

To Live In Hearts We Leave Behind

Authors Note: I was feeling my angst when I decided that I needed to write this. Hopefully everyone forgives me for this. I’ll post more happy stuff soon I promise (I have half a dozen WIPs going). The title is from a quote by Carl Sagan.

Summary: Its been 4 years. Evan decided that he was going to visit Tommy.

Rating: G

W/C: 1201

Also available on AO3

***

Evan sat on a blanket, absently trying to smooth it out over an uneven ground. He had done this same ritual every year for the past four years, and he would likely continue to do it every year until the day he could no longer come.

In front of him was a headstone, simple marble, no adornments besides a little sconce on the side to hold flowers, with black lettering, ‘Thomas Kinard II, Loving Husband and Friend. 1984 – 2030’. Evan had to come visit Tommy every year, multiple times a year, but today was important. It was their tradition, “Hey Tommy,” he said as he reached out and laid a hand on the cold stone, there was a light dusting of frost on the top still, it had gotten cold overnight and the sun hadn’t reached this part of the cemetery yet to melt it away, “Another year come and gone since you left me. You would have been 50 this year, old man,” Evan laughed.

“I miss you everyday since you left,” Evan continues, “I know it’s not your fault. Everything just happened to unfold in such a way that you were taken from me well before you should have been,” a single tear rolls down Evan’s face, “It just sucks. I had so many plans for us. We’d retire, we would travel the world. See the ruins in Greece, visit some castles around the world. Now I’m a 43 year old widow.”

The tears started to fall from Evan’s eyes in earnest. It happened like this every year when he came to visit Tommy, he would try to remain brave and strong, but would always end up breaking down into tears within minutes of talking, “Why did you have to be the one to go? Why didn’t Lucy or any of the other Harbor pilots? Why did you have to go into that storm that night? You were an experienced pilot, you’ve flown into a hurricane, so you know what you are doing. So why did you have to not come back to me?”

The tears were falling freely now, “They’ve never told me exactly what happened. Just that you went down. I don’t even have answers. They say we were lucky to even get you back after, that your body just ended up floating back to the shore after the storm passed. But,” Evan went and hugged the headstone, “One day I hope to see you again. Then when we are sitting together again, you can tell me what really happened that day.”

“Maddie has been trying n to set me up,” Evan continued, “Men and women. I just don’t know if I feel ready. It’s been 4 years, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to move on. You completed me, and I feel I won’t experience even 1/100 of what you made me feel. We were each others soul mates. That won’t ever be erased.”

“I know if you were actually here you would be telling me that it would be OK,” the tears had stopped, but his voice was strained, his throat constricted by his sadness, “That you don’t want to see me sad and alone. You would want me to be happy with someone. And I love you for that. I just don’t know if I could.”

Evan chuckled, “Talking to you does help some with the sadness and the loneliness. Brings it down a little. But it’s still so lonely at home without you. I still have Pickles and Marlon. But our bed is so large and so empty without you.”

Evan sighed, “Maybe I just need a sign. A sign that you want me to go ahead with dating. If you approve of it then maybe I won’t feel so guilty,” Evan looked around, “Any sign will do,” At that moment a small blue Jay landed on Tommy’s headstone. Evan smiled. Unbeknownst to most people who knew him, Tommy had a small tattoo of a blue jay on his left shoulder blade. He said that it symbolized protection and luck. And that it was that luck that brought them together, “That’s a sign I guess,” Evan continued to smile.

“Fine,” Evan looked at the headstone, “I’ll see about going out on maybe one or two dates. But don’t you think I’m going to just start forgetting about you. I have to find you again in whatever the next life brings.”

Evan reached into a bag he brought with him, “Oh before I forget,” Evan pulled out a couple items. Some flowers because, while Evan didn’t like the idea, leaving flowers at a grave was a tradition. Tommy wasn’t a flower person but they did look nice, “I know you don’t like them, and prefer them to be left in the ground but they do make it nice for when others visit you. I know that Lucy and Sal come by sometimes. Hen, Chim and Bobby do as well. Eddie comes when he can but he has his family in Texas now,” Evan put the flowers into the holder that was attached to the side, “Did I tell you? Him and Mariella are expecting a baby. Chris is so excited to have a sibling.”

Evan also placed a small helicopter on the front of the grave, “I also brought you this. To remind you, and everyone who comes by just who you are. You are the most badass pilot that ever flew over the skies of Los Angeles.”

Evan smiled at himself as he traced Tommy’s name on the headstone, “Are you waiting for me in the afterlife?” Evan asked, “I want to think so. I want to think that you are watching me right now, laughing at me because of my superstitions.”

Evan started to cry again, “God I miss you so much,” He scooted across the blanket to lean his head against the headstone, “I know I shouldn’t but I do. And I’ll never stop.”

Evan sat there, head against the cold stone for another 15 minutes, tears silently falling, before he sat back, “Well I have to get going, my love,” He started to pack his blanket up, “Maddie and Chim have invited me over to their house for dinner. Jee also needs help from her favourite uncle on a paper she is writing for English class.”

“I’ll come visit you again soon,” he was standing now, “I’ll update you on my dating adventures next time.”

Evan brought his hand up to his mouth and gave it a gentle kiss before placing it back on the headstone, “I’ll love you forever and always.”

Evan grabbed his bag and started to walk towards the truck that was parked in the distance. Evan had kept Tommy’s truck for all these years. It still worked so why get rid of it. Keeping the memories around helped Evan. Once reaching the truck, Evan pulled open the door, tossed the bag with his blanket and various other knickknacks into the backseat, put on his seatbelt, and drove off, already planning his next visit.

***

Note: Just something short I had to get out of my head. Hopefully it makes sense. I was just thinking of something angsty and this whole idea said “Hey you should write a fic that had Buck and Tommy happy and in love, and then Tommy dies and Buck has troubles moving on.” Please don’t hate me, I just had to get this idea out of my head. I promise I'll post happier stuff soon (and the last chapter of my smut story comes on Wednesday). I have a few WIPs I've finished work on and just need to edit.

As always, comments and likes are appreciated.

[inkdemonapologist]

What are your thoughts on joeys character in batdr and his redemption? If you ask me I like what they did with him. They gave him redemption without excusing some of the bad stuff he did. And I think memory joey could grow to be somewhat of his own character. But the redemption isn’t perfect though. Even though I said the it didn’t excuse some of the stuff he did it felt like they swept the bad stuff under the rug. But who knows. Maybe they’ll fix this in future.

But enough about what I think, what don you think?

I’ve talked about this before – the TL;DR of that post is that I think this is, conceptually, a promising way to portray Joey moving forward to be better for someone new, but in actual execution it fails to do that.

TBH I’d love to stop categorising this as “redemption”… I've grown to dislike this framing, debating whether it’s a Good Redemption or a Bad Redemption or whether Joey is Really Redeemed or Not, because it assumes that Redemption™ is even what’s happening in this story. BatDR is a story where we’re given reason to believe that Joey may have had a change of heart. That’s it! We can question and analyse his supposed change of heart, but it doesn’t have to REDEEM HIM to be real, and I think measuring things on the scale of REDEEMED VS NOT REDEEMED is not only gliding over some pretty complex ideas of What Does Redeemed Mean In The Context Of Fiction (it is the sort of concept that it is so, so easy for people to have vastly different unspoken definitions for, making discussions of “he was redeemed” “no he wasn’t” especially futile), but also not really useful here.

For one thing, this isn’t a story about Joey's change of heart. Tbh, he barely features – Memory Joey can have a change of heart and work to be better if you believe/headcanon that he has OG Joey’s attitude, worldview, and personality flaws (which I do), but he has no crimes to acknowledge or repent for other than MAYBE reluctance to get involved. You might as well ask a person to repent for the crimes of their kins!! We hear about the choices original Joey made, and we can judge those choices postmortem, but he’s not here to redeem himself through this story; he’s dead.

As to the actual spirit of your question: The big thing. The really really big thing. Is that the CYCLE IS STILL GOING. It’s still going and it’s still bad and everyone in it is still miserable!! He didn’t fix that!!! The only evidence we have of ANY attempt to make it nicer in there is that he added Allison Angel, which like, “i’ve created a new life to keep you company in the torture dimension, so it’s less bad” is NOT ACTUALLY BETTER.

It’s important because it’s the only thing Joey could still try to do. He clearly doesn’t have any money to give restitution to his victims or their families, and I’m not gonna be a cop about demanding that he return the ink machine to the corporation that’s even more evil than he was. There’s not a lot of tangible steps he could take to perform penance for what he’s done, beyond fessing up publicly to his crimes and turning himself in and definitely going to jail, and like, maybe that would be a good thing for him to do, but if we’re going to hold Joey to that standard we really should be making the same demands of, say, Thomas Connor, or Sammy Lawrence in every Escape AU.

He can’t go back and un-ruin the lives he ruined years ago. But he didn’t do anything about the cycle, and that’s something that’s still happening NOW.

That was his responsibility, sapient life that he created to suffer and should have felt a huge obligation to – yet, we have no evidence that Joey was like, trying to fix it (in fact, he seemed PRETTY FOCUSED on spending his limited time creating and then raising Audrey), so every assertion that he was a changed man falls a bit flat, because being a sweet, loving person to your family and friends while running an endlessly looping torture dimension in your basement is actually quite sinister! Even Memory Joey asserts that the only reason he can’t fix the cycle now is because he’s not really the OG Joey who made it – does that mean the OG Joey could? Audrey says she wants to make the cycle kinder; could Joey have done that? Why didn’t he? We know from Allison's appearance in the original BatIM that the hellish experience of the first game IS the version that came from Joey’s change of heart, and it’s not great for literally anyone!!

Joey was a better person to Audrey, his daughter, and I do believe he genuinely loved her. If it were just that, it would be pretty good – Joey disappears from public life and stops obsessing over Bendy and instead of barging into his past victims’ lives to demand forgiveness, he just wants to be a better man and a good father to this daughter he created. That’s a compelling story, and I think it’s probably the best direction that “Joey wants to be better” could go. But once we realise he was actively ignoring suffering that he both caused and was responsible for fixing, it’s hard to take that love in good faith anymore. Joey being good exclusively to people that he likes who are doing what he wants isn’t anything new; Joey’s delight in The One Who Came Out Right feels less like a change of heart when we see Memory Joey echo his complete lack of sympathy for The One Who Came Out Wrong.

The reason it feels like Joey’s wrongdoing was glossed over isn’t because Joey needed to record an audiolog saying “I acknowledge that my actions were without excuse, and I’m deeply sorry for the harm I’ve caused” or whatever… it’s because there was something he could’ve changed, or could’ve at least TRIED to change, and he didn’t do it -- and it feels like we, the audience, were not supposed to notice that, because the story didn’t notice, either. It'd be possible to address it; like, what if Joey's change of heart instead involved him trying to fix things for the people in the cycle, and Audrey was created accidentally in that process -- then his love for Audrey would also be a picture of how far he'd come, taking responsibility for this person he'd brought into being and seeing her as a beloved daughter instead of a mistake. Or even just an audiolog where Joey says some kind of “oh god I can’t end it, it’s just going to repeat forever, what have i done, what can i do,” and it might actually feel possible to believe in his change of heart, to believe that he really tried as hard as he could and just never succeeded. But this huge thing is barely acknowledged. It's fine. He put Allison in there, so now it's fine! Don't dwell on the past!!

Anyway, like I said in my first post, if all this were intentional, I would LOVE it, conceptually. The idea of Joey Drew being a good father to Audrey who really genuinely loved her, but also was not actually a better person in a lot of ways, was still the same guy who was uncomfortable with guilt and glossed over his wrongdoing in order to prematurely Move On from the things that made him feel like a failure and focus on the relationship with his daughter that made him feel like a success, is a compelling, difficult character! The way so many people fell in love with Memory Joey just seems like, how everyone in original Joey’s life must’ve felt about him, the way they all kept believing in him despite everything, the way they wanted so badly to believe him. Impose this lens upon the whole game, and it all fits in. But since there’s no sign it’s intentional – and, with the archive, actually some signs that it wasn’t – it sort of sits weirdly. Memory Joey isn’t framed as an unreliable narrator. The tone of his final scene clearly isn’t MEANT to be dissonant.

---

So, uh, that’s what I think. I think the concept of Joey having a genuine change of heart and being better for his daughter could be good; I think the concept of Joey presenting himself as a changed man when really he is Just The Same, He Just Likes You This Time, could also be good. But he was handled clumsily enough that I think we didn’t quite get either thing, and, as usual, you have to fill in the blanks with headcanons and inferences to get one of these stories -- so which story you get kinda depends on which way you decide to interpret everything. Nothing tells us for sure that Joey didn't try his hardest to fix everything, so if you want that story, you can simply headcanon that he tried his hardest. But my personal preference is definitely for the reading where Joey believes himself a changed man because he really does love his daughter, and that's genuinely sweet!! but he remained the same man he always was, dodging guilt and responsibility in favour of a narrative that made him feel good about himself. I'm still quite proud of the frustrated little indictment Memory Joey gives him in that one creationship comic I made:

[zer0brainc3lls]

tmr angst headcanons!!

0k yall, the promised angst head canons have arrived and if you wish to check my sweet ones they are here

Gally:

oh gally.. poor gally and his absolute guilt and fear of losing himself again and killing another..

after he killed chuck for MONTHS he was terrified he would somehow lose himself again and kill someone else, he literally refused to even have physical contact unless absolutely necessary for so long, once he slowly got over his fear he never really got back to normal, hugs are EXTREMELY rare from him, even rarer then before.

gally refused to let himself grieve over chuck and the deaths of the Gladers that stayed behind until he literally couldn't because he believed for a long time he believed he didn't have the right to.

He refused to talk about them too, like if someone just asked about the maze or about what happened he would refuse to answer them

one day frypan brought up something about one of Gally's old friends on accident and he just started BALLING, it wasn't loud or anything just silent tears as he started insisting he didn't mean to hurt anyone, after talking it out with frypan a bunch and a few more times after he felt a bit less guilt.

After a long time he carved his old friends names onto the stone with the help of frypan, and him overall just being supportive and cheering him on :)

(As you can tell Gally and frypan being friends is like my fav thing ever)

Minho:

after Minho was rescued he couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't, sometimes he would insist that the safe haven wasn't real and that people were trying to hurt him or that wicked was going to come back and kill him

i also wouldn't be surprised if he developed some form of hallucinations along side it, long making him spiral further. slowly though they became less frequent and intense and he learnt to ground himself, occasionally he just squeezes his friends knees or shoulders to remind himself they are actually there or asks them "this is real right?"

Minho ended up with permanent insomnia and night terrors though, for the first month or two in the safe haven he would wake up kicking and screaming but soon it just turned into silent sleep paralysis.

he never gained all his muscle and stamina back, DONT GET ME WRONG HE IS STILL EXTREMELY FAST AND STRONG but not the level he was before. (slightly chubby Minho post death cure will forever be one of my fav head canons omfg)

He and Newt talk about hallucinations and not being able to tell what’s real and find a massive comfort in each other because no one else actually knows what it’s like. (Don’t get me wrong so many people in the safe haven have trust issues but it’s not the same yk?)

Newt:

Before I even get into the mental impacts of just EVERYTHING I’m just gonna mention the fact of how WEAK he would’ve been afterwards, the flare would’ve done numbers on his body that the cure couldn’t have fixed. He was probably weak for awhile (like a month or two) and his limp was significantly worse and he used a cane (after he got better he kept it because it just made everything significantly easier)

Also I feel like even thought he got the cure he still struggles with hallucinations and paranoia, mainly about him getting the flare again or the cure somehow not working

When he gets sick (like a cold) he’s SUPER on edge because it just reminds him of the early hours/days of the flare, especially if he gets phlegm in his throat or something. Thomas and Minho have caught him mumbling to himself saying "you don't have the flare you don't have the flare-"

he doesn't talk about when he had the flare to many people, maybe Thomas and Minho a few times but he wont go into detail.

Thomas:

the TRUST ISSUES. OMG. during the scorch trails he only trusted Newt, Minho and Brenda indefinitely, he trusts Jorge and everyone else to an extent but he occasionally has his doubts.

he's entirely desensitized to blood and gore, along with Minho and Newt. his pain tolerance is extremely high and if he gets hurt he never realizes to extent, like he could sprain his ankle or something and say "i just need to walk it off" as it turns purple and black

he got VERY protective of himself and the few people he does trust, especially Newt and Minho. anyone he doesn't know he has a fear that they are always lying and that everything they say is bullshit. basically a massive "trust no one (except like 3 people)" mentality.

even though he isn't a leader anymore he still feels the need to keep up this facade of being strong and fearless, even though there is no danger anymore.

he's super jumpy, always on guard and ready. constant state of fight or flight, anyone who's sitting around him he constantly as an eye on. sometimes even Newt or Minho on a bad day, for weeks post death cure if you touched him without warning he flinch and if he didn't he adrenaline would go through the roof until he realized "oh its just ____"

[monsterrae1]

🧑🏽‍🍼tease tidbit Tuesday 🧑🏼‍🍼

Tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @spotsandsocks @dangerpronebuddie @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13 @wikiangela thank you besties!!

A little something something from my abo fic and also a question:

This fic is a wip and idk when I’ll be done but would you guys like me to start posting now and update as I write or wait until I’m done?

Anyway here’s the snippet:

Buck chewed on his lip again, the same spot that was already raw, Eddie balled his hands into fists to resist the urge to press his thumb against it and break the skin free, to soothe the irritation with his touch.

“Okay,” Buck said after a while, and after Eddie thoroughly washed his hands he hesitantly handed his baby to Eddie.

“I’m not gonna go anywhere,” Eddie assured him, “I’ll hold him right here while you eat.”

Buck nodded, and finally let go completely of Thomas. They both held their breath waiting to see if Thomas was going to wake up and start crying, but all he did was nuzzle into Eddie, his little nose pressed to Eddie’s chest, and settling back to sleep.

“Uh,” Buck tilted his head, looking at his son confused, “He hasn’t done that with anyone before.”

Eddie tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest at the implications, “He must recognize my scent from the ambulance,” Eddie said, “That’s all.” Buck nodded but he was still staring at them with a little awe in his eyes, “C’mon, get some food in you, you look like you’re gonna pass out any moment.”

Buck chuckled, “You’re not wrong about that, I feel like I haven’t slept since I went into labor.”

“Well, I don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours, and I did promise to help you paint too, so you can get some sleep while I’m here, I promise to be quiet.”

Buck stared at him, stopping wolfing down his food for a second, “Listen, Eddie, huh, that’s very nice of you, and I appreciate it, but you don’t need to.” He took a deep breath, “I just had a baby, I’m not really looking for courtship or anything like that.”

Eddie blushed, “No, I know, I promise I’m not gonna try and court you, I genuinely just wanna help, from one single dad to another, okay?” Even if Eddie had wanted to court Buck, he knew that right now wasn’t the right time, if ever, for all that Eddie knew Buck’s alpha might come back any day now and he wouldn’t need Eddie’s help anymore.

Tagging if they wanna share anything:

@loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @bi-buckrights @prettyboybuckley @eddiebabygirldiaz @saybiwithme @doublecheekedkinard @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @spaceprincessem @bidisasterbuddies @jacksadventuresinwriting @jesuisici33 @evanbi-ckley @911onabc @housewifebuck @wildlife4life @rogerzsteven @loveyouanyway @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @father-salmon @giddyupbuck @devirnis @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @spagheddiediaz @sunshinediaz and whoever else wants to do it

[sunnyy3d]

All I Want for Christmas is You|

Thomas Thorne x Reader

A/N: I wrote this incredibly late (like I’m posting it at 12:30 Christmas morning) so I hope you enjoy it, and it doesn’t suck… I also had to try and post this at least three different times, so that’s great. Anyways, merry Christmas! Requests open!

"Wake up, it is Christmas!" Thomas gently shakes me awake. I open my eyes to see his bright smile above me. I love waking up beside him every morning, even if we are dead. "Oh, I cannot wait for you to see your gift," he states as he ushers me out of the bed. Thankfully, I am already fully dressed, so I can go straight to the family room where everyone will be waiting.

Usually, I dread the upcoming holidays. There's not much that you can do as a ghost. There's no Christmas dinner, gifts, Christmas crackers, or anything of the sort. The most you can do is participate in one of Pat's games or talks. But that all changed when Allison showed up. She helped us start to enjoy Christmas again. Before Allison, the ghosts and I would just hand out and play some of Pat's games. And then after, Thomas and I would do something special together.

Because of Allison, we've been able to do much more for Christmas. Allison can help with gifts, and we can do more traditions than just Pat's made-up games. I mean, no hate to Pat, but after so many years, you just yearn for more.

This year, I've asked Allison to hang up some mistletoe that I can go under with Thomas. It may seem small and insignificant, but Thomas has always loved the mistletoe tradition and has been begging Allison to put some up around the house.

Before we reach the family room, I let Thomas know I plan to give him his gift in private. His eyebrows raise in shock, and he lets out a tiny "oh." I laugh as he clearly interprets my words in his own way, but don't correct him as we've already reached the family room.

After everyone has exchanged their gifts, I finally get to open Thomas'. Well, Allison gets to. At this moment, Thomas tells me that he actually wrote a poem that he will recite to me.

Thomas starts his poem with great emotion, "I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own, more than you can ever know. Make my wish come true; all I want for Christmas is you."

My smile falters as I recognize his poem from somewhere else. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I know that Thomas will be devastated when he finds out that he has given me a plagiarized piece.

Luckily, I don't need to be the one to break it to him, as Allison has already started. "Thomas, that's 'All I Want for Christmas is You,' by Mariah Carrey..." Mike starts laughing but quickly stops when Allison glares at him. He can't see me, but I am also glaring at him. Thomas will already be upset; there is no need to make it worse.

Thomas is quick to break down. "Oh no! I have done it again. Please send my most sincere apologies to Mrs. Carrey. I did not mean to steal her beautiful work. My dear, I am so so sorry. I did not intentionally give you stolen work, I swear!" he sobs.

"Oh, Thomas, dear, it is okay! You did not mean to. I promise that I don't see you any differently now. You are still a great poet. It happens to the best." I pull him into my arms, shushing him and rubbing his back. "Here, why don't we go get your gift," I whisper.

I stand and dust my clothes off, even though I know nothing is on them. I hold out my hand as an offer to help Thomas up. He gladly takes in, and I pull him up. Now standing, I start to lead him to the mistletoe. I asked Allison to place the mistletoe at an arbor near the lake. Thomas and I love to sit and watch the waves together, so I thought it would be the perfect place to give him his gift.

When we finally reach the arbor, I lead him directly under it. I smile at him as I take both of his hands in mine. His eyebrows scrunch in confusion, and I only look up, prompting him to do the same. Noticing the mistletoe, he looks down at me with a huge smile.

I nod at him, encouraging him to follow the tradition. Quickly, he lets go of one of my hands, instead cupping my cheek with it. His lips crash onto mine. He passionately kisses me like he has been dying to.

He breaks from the kiss after a minute but still holds my face. "Thank you. You know that I have been begging Allison to put some up. And I truly am sorry about the poem. I shall write you another poem-original this time- in order to correctly express my love for you,” he promises with a tight lipped smile.

“It's okay, my love. It's the thought that counts. I would love anything you give me, especially if it is another kiss," I reassure him. His smile widens, but I don't get to look at it for long as he quickly pulls me back into a passionate kiss.

[moonsgemini]

seeking arrangements - iv

summary: With just two days left of before the wedding the celebrations continue. Going to a bachelorette & bachelor party when you’re a fake couple might cause some issues. Especially when Lola can’t seem to stop taking tequila shots & the liquid might have given her too much courage.

warnings: escort!rafe x oc, alcohol, angst, insecurities, fluff, thomas (he deserves a warning), shitty family, kissing

wc: 5.1k

an: I’m gonna be real I kinda hate this part, I feel like I lacked in every aspect lol. But it is done, & there’s two more parts to goooo. ALSO HELP I cannot get my comments to work. Like I can’t reply to people or comment on other peoples posts. It’s on in my settings I’m pretty sure so idk what I’m doing wrong.

series masterlist - previous part

“What’s on the agenda today?” Rafe asked before taking a bite of his bagel.

Lola was sitting next to him squinting at her laptop. She may have had the week off from work but she couldn’t help but try and catch up on some pieces that needed to be read. She hadn’t felt focused enough the last few days to try and squeeze in any work because she’d been so anxious. After the engagement party and the boat day she felt a lot more relaxed. Rafe managed to put a sense of calm over her.

After they got home from the party they spent the rest of the night in bed watching another movie. This one was Rafe’s pick. He made her watch The Godfather, but they didn’t really pay too much attention. Lola kept asking questions during the film and of course Rafe answered all of them. Never once did he get upset at her for talking during the movie, something Thomas hated that she did. The conversation ended up leading to them talking about everything. Rafe opened up a lot more to her and she felt closer to him.

It scared her because it meant that even if they continue to be friends after this she’ll never have him in the way she wants. When this whole thing began Lola was unsure about it because what if she got caught but she never thought that there’d be a possibility she’d fall in love with the guy. Of course it had to be Rafe that she reached out to, the most perfect guy.

“Ummm we have the bachelor and bachelorette parties today. Girls are going to one bar and guys are going to another,” She turned to him giving him a weak smile. This is the first time they’ll really be separated from each other.

Rafe groaned, “I have to be with those frat boys all night.”

She threw her head back laughing, “They aren’t that bad. Well except for you know who, he’s that bad.”

“Oh they are that bad sweetheart,” He took a sip of his coffee before continuing, “Except Harry, he’s been pretty decent. I don’t know why you ran with these crowds.”

“Please I only saw them when we came here because they’re all my sisters friends or Harry’s. They met them in college.”

“Explains why you and Tabitha are the coolest,” Rafe smirked at her. She rolled her eyes playfully turning back to the laptop in front of her.

“So that’s why my ears were ringing,” Tabitha said as she walked into the kitchen.

“Good morning to you Tabs,” Lola grinned watching her cousin pour herself a big mug of coffee.

Rafe chuckled, “Went a little too hard yesterday?”

“Possibly,” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the supplies for a bagel.

“Hey you better be able to go out later I’m not doing that alone,” Lola scolded.

Tabitha sat in the seat in front of her, “Relax I’ll make it. Takes me back to college, drunk every weekend.”

“Okay so what am I supposed to do with these guys for a whole night?” Rafe was not excited at all for the bachelor party. Ever since the boat conversations he’s been trying to avoid them. Everything was a dick riding contest to them.

Tabitha waves her bagel around, “Just get drunk, talk about sports too.”

“Getting drunk does sound promising,” he shrugged.

Lola laughed, “You can also talk about finance, you know they love that stuff.”

Tabitha nodded her head, “I’m always having to tell Andrew to shut up when he starts giving me financial advice.”

“I definitely don’t need financial advice. Sometimes I’m glad I don’t have many friends. The less friends or people close to you the better,” Rafe shrugged.

“You two really are made for each other,” Tabitha said looking between the two with a playful grin.

-

Lola had come up with a plan. Maybe it was a stupid plan and would end horribly or it could go amazingly. She was going to go out and take a few shots to earn that liquid courage before ubering home if Rafe was back and then try to seduce him. She couldn’t stand being around him and not be able to touch him.

Of course they did subtle stuff to convince her family, but it was never enough. When he’d place his hand on the small of her back to guide her around the engagement party her body felt ablaze. Her fingers itched to run through his hair and pull him closer. They hadn’t kissed since the boat and her lips ached for his. She missed his soft touch, the things he would make her feel with something so simple as his hand on the back of her neck.

Sleeping next to him at night was the hardest. He slept shirtless and it was incredibly distracting. There had been moments where she’d wake up to his arm around her, his nose tucked into the back of her neck. Rafe knew what he was doing, he’d blame it on him doing it in his sleep. He was really like half asleep and she just looked so cute and soft laying there he couldn’t help himself. If she moved away or anything he would have pulled away but she never did.

He was very disappointed that he wouldn’t really get to hangout with her tonight when their time playing boyfriend and girlfriend was almost over. He’d rather spend the day at the beach with her than drinking with a bunch of guys he didn’t know.

He was sitting outside on the deck going through his emails while thinking about the girl that was inside. Lola insisted on making margaritas for them to pregame. They didn’t have to leave until six so they had time to just relax. Lola came out with glasses and a pitcher of the alcoholic drink.

“Woah there cowboy, we’re gonna finish all that?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Well we can try, or it will just go to waste.” She smirked shrugging. Sitting down next to him she began to pour the watermelon margaritas into the glasses. He smiled at her just looking at her. Rafe liked watching her just do stuff.

“What?” She asked with a nervous laugh. His blue eyes made her nervous because when he looked at her she felt like he was actually looking at her. Not the girl everyone thought was weak because of her breakup. Not the girl that lets everyone walk all over her.

He shrugged, “Nothing, just like looking at you.”

She looked away from his tense gaze, a small grin forming at her lips. It was hard to deny the fact that he didn’t have an effect on her, “You’re too much.” she said because it was true. Everything about him was so overwhelming.

“So Rafe what’s your next job after this one? Or should I say who is your next job?”

He adjusted in his seat. Scrunching his nose as he looked out at the backyard, “Uh no one right now. I-I don’t know I’ve been thinking of retiring.”

“Woah really?” She looked over at him a bit shocked.

“Yeah this week has given me a new perspective you could say,” he took a drink from his margarita.

“How so?” She asked her voice quieter now.

He shrugged, “I guess I just realized I want more. I don’t want to be a paid companion anymore, I want to be just a companion.”

Butterflies of hope flew around in her stomach. Lola’s delusions were starting to get the best of her. Maybe it’s because of me, she thought. Rafe takes her silence as not a good sign.

He feels like maybe he had said too much and scared her away, “Uh so I’ll probably try and get myself out there more. Ya know when we get back to the city. Find a girl finally go on dates.”

The butterflies were crushed at those words. Find a girl. Those words hurt her but she couldn’t show it. Rafe could read her better than anyone even though he’s only known her for a month. Her furrowed brows and the way she couldn’t look at him gave her away. He knew what he said hurt her, maybe he had been reading everything wrong.

She cleared her throat to try and get rid of the lump in her throat, “That’s uh great Rafe. I-I think that sounds great.” She smiled at him the best she could. Lola started chugging the rest of her margarita not really in the mood to sit and drink with him.

He watched her with concern. Rafe wanted to shove his words back into his mouth to get that pretty smile back on her face “Lola I..”

“I-I’m gonna go and get ready now. I’ll see you in a bit okay Rafe,” She gave her another fake smile before walking back inside.

“Fuck,” He muttered rubbing his face out of frustration with himself.

The whole time Rafe felt like he thought he knew what she wanted. She had even asked to just be friends after this. He didn’t want to overstep and tell her the real reason why he wants to give all this up. It was because of Lola, he wants her by his side. He liked the way she made him feel and he loved the person he brought out in her. He loved protecting her from people who don’t deserve her.

-

Lola was beginning to think her plan was going to end horribly. Especially after what he had said. She felt like things were maybe going somewhere with him. She has had more fun the whole week than she’s had her whole life. And she knows it’s because she’s had him by her side.

She looked over herself in the mirror. She felt hot, she felt like she could go through with her plan to seduce Rafe. Yet it wasn’t enough because that voice was still in her head telling her that he doesn’t like want her more than a friend. Or even possibly more than a client. Her outfit consisted of a black mini skirt and olive green long sleeve that had a small pink bow in the middle of the square neckline. She also wore black boots that made her legs look longer, her makeup and hair were done. She felt amazing on the outside but on the inside her insecurities were starting to take over her thoughts.

Rafe had been in the shower while she changed into her outfit. They hadn’t spoken much since he came back to the room. Things seemed a bit tense, a sort of unspoken tension between them.

Lola was switching purses to one that would better match her outfit when Rafe opened the door to the bathroom. He stepped out in nothing but a light blue towel around his waist. His chest and stomach still slightly damp from the hot shower. He had been looking down at his phone. Lola looked up at him from where she stood and gulped at his appearance. He was not making this easy.

“What should I wear? I’m guessing polos and khakis is the bar dress code,” He smirked putting his phone down and going to his side of the closet to look through the shirts he brought. He glanced back at her and stopped skimming through his shirts. He wished she didn’t look so incredible, how was he supposed to spend the night away from her when she looked like that.

He looked her over his eyes moving slowly taking in every detail, “You look unreal,” he said once he met her eyes.

Lola gave him a shy smile as a blush creeped up her neck, “Thank you, and uh you should just wear a button up and some black pants. Casual but nice.”

He just nodded his head only half paying attention. Rafe couldn’t concentrate when she was standing across the room looking like his future wife. He snapped out of his thoughts at the word wife. She was really doing something to him if he was thinking about marriage. He looked through his shirts and decided on a green jacket and black carhartt pants. Grabbing his clothes he went back into the bathroom to change.

Lola felt like she could breathe again. Having to watch the muscles in his back flex as he grabbed his shirt was too much. Especially since his skin was sun kissed from the day before she just wanted to run her hands all over him. He walked out of the bathroom and she clenched her fists. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“You look handsome,” Lola said as she started to think about all the women that would get to see Rafe tonight. Jealousy took over her as she thought about how she couldn’t be by his side all night to show people that he was with her.

“Thank you sweetheart.” She was going to kill him.

“Alright lets go,” She sighed and began walking out the door.

“I’m not going go drink tonight so I can drop you off and even pick you up,” Rafe said following behind her.

“Okay, you decided on not drinking?”

“Yeah I just don’t really feel like being drunk with a bunch of people I don’t know. I also want to make sure you’re safe,” He shrugged and opened the front door for her.

Lola turned to him before walking out the door. Standing almost toe to toe, he was much taller than her. She was feeling intimidated but she tried her best not to show it. But like always he could read her so easily. He could see the her fingers twitch and her breathing pick up a little more.

“You’re kind of frustrating Mr. Cameron,” She said with a sigh, her eyes squinting teasingly at him.

“What am I doing?” He asked pretending to be clueless.

She ignored him not wanting to answer him, “Come on we can’t be late.”

The drive there was comfortable quiet. The tense atmosphere from earlier now gone. Rafe pulled into a parking lot on the main street and parking. He had been struggling since he first saw Lola. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

There were a lot of people on the main street going to the different shops, restaurants, and bars. It was a popular area in the summer. Rafe walked around her to walk on the side closest to the street, and hgrabbed her hand so he wouldn’t lose her in the throngs of people.

“Where are we going?” He asked her following her lead.

“The girls are going to Porter’s and the guys are going to Birdie’s. Porter’s is right there,” She pointed at a bar a few shops down, “And then Birdies is across the street.” She pointed at another bar on the other side of the street.

“Ah so we’re close to each other,” Rafe smirked liking the idea that she’d be close by in case she needed anything.

“Mhmm I think all the girls are there already.”

“If you want to leave early for any reason call me okay? I’ll be right over,” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Okay Rafe,” She smiled. Once they got to the front of the bar the bridesmaids immediately spotted them since they were all sitting on the patio out front.

“My favorite couple!” Penny shouted as she saw the pair walk up.

“Took you guys long enough. I wonder what you guys were doing that made you laaaate,” Tabitha said teasingly.

“Tabi!” Lola exclaimed.

Penny turned to Rafe, “Hurry and let your girl go so we can get drunk!”

“Alright alright,” Rafe said and turned Lola to face him. He cupped her cheek, “call if you need anything. Have fun and be safe.”

“Always,” She said breathlessly because his eyes kept going down to her lips. She knew what was coming and she couldn’t be more excited.

Rafe leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips, he didn’t want to do too much since they were in public but he wanted to show everyone that this was his girl. He pulled away only to go in one more time, she smiled against his lips.

“Rafe,” She laughed pushing him away playfully.

“Sorry babe couldn’t help myself,” He shrugged with a lopsided smile that made her want to kiss him a million more times.

“I’ll see you later,” She squeezed his hand before pulling away to walk onto the patio.

“Bye,” He waved at her and all the other girls who had been watching them.

“Byyye,” They all said in synch with laughs

Tabitha turned to Lola as she sat down next to her, “Girl that man is obsessed with you.”

“I really hope so,” She laughed. The girls not knowing the way she really meant it.

“Okay ladies lets drink!” Penny said clapping her hands, “Tonight in honor of me we’re having tequila!”

“This is going to be the best night!” Olivia laughed excitedly.

-

Rafe arrived to the bar the guys were at, he walked inside and spotted the group around a table in the back. He walked over and Harry immediately spotted him.

“Rafe! Dude you made it,” Harry said getting up to greet him.

“Of course, just had to drop off Lola.” Rafe walked over to the empty seat between Mateo and Josh. Thomas say directly in front of him.

“Hey what’s up man,” Josh greeted followed by the rest of them Thomas only nodding at Rafe to not some completely rude. Rafe found it amusing how much he pissed Thomas off. He liked it.

“I’m gonna go get another round. What are you drinking Rafe?” Josh asked him.

“uh just water, I’m driving tonight.”

“Shoulda ubered man.”

-

It was nearly midnight now and Rafe wanted to leave. He had bern having a good time for a while but now all the guys were pretty drunk and he just wanted to be with Lola. He hadn’t heard from her all night which he took as a good sign. The guys were playing pool now, some of the single grooms men were flirting with some women at the bar.

“You ever miss that?” Harry asked him as he lined up his stick with the white ball.

“What? Flirting?”

He nodded his head, “Yeah like picking up girls at bars.”

Rafe shook his head, “Not at all. I like Lola a lot.”

“I feel the same about Penny. Guess it’d be bad if I didn’t since we’re getting married,” He laughed patting Rafe on the back.

“You guys are sooo whipped,” Thomas laughed.

“And what about it?” Harry slurred.

Thomas shrugged his hooded eyes meeting Rafes, “The same boring girl forever? The same average pussy forever? noooo thanks.”

“I’m convinced you’ve never actually talked to a woman. I think you just like women who don’t like you,” Rafe shook his head with a smirk.

“Hey all girls love me. Look at me,” He stood straighter and smirked. Rafe wanted to hysterically laugh but he held it in. He started to feel a vibrating in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and saw Lola’s name across the screen.

“Saved by the bell,” He said before walking away to a quieter area, “Hello?”

“Rafeyyyy,” Lola sang on the other end of the line.

He shook his head with a fond smile on his lips, “This is him. What’s up sweetheart?”

“I’m ready to go Rafey. I wanna see you,” She said breathlessly.

For the last few hours the girls had moved to inside the bar where they drank too many shots of tequila and danced. Penny even did karaoke at some point. Lola was actually enjoying herself and she might have enjoyed it too much. She was definitely drunk by now which meant her plan to seduce Rafe sounds like a very good plan.

“God he’s just so hot,” Lola said her chin resting in her palms as she leaned on the bar. She was currently talking to the bartender and Tabitha.

“He is incredibly hot,” Tabitha agreed, “You should see him, he’s like one of those stone statues of the guys with the abs.”

Lola laughed loudly, “he does look like that. Beautiful. You know he’s a really good kisser.” Her brain started to get even fuzzier as she thought of the kisses from earlier.

“Call him girl, get your man.” Tabitha encouraged as shebsaw the look in her cousin’s eyes.

“I will,” That’s when she had decided to call him and let him take her home.

“You’re drunk huh?” He asked with a teasing tone.

She faked a gasp, “I would want to see you even if I weren’t drunk thank you very much. Especially when wow,” She sighed dreamily, “Especially when you look the way you do tonight.”

Rafe had quickly and quietly bid goodbye to the guys as he all but sprinted out of there to get Lola. He knew she was drunk and he didn’t want her to go outside by herself.

“I’m coming sweetheart, did you have fun?”

“Very much of it,” She smiled to herself.

“I’m outside now,” He as as he was getting closer.

She squealed, “Coming!” She hung up the phone and ran outside before Rafe could even made it to the walkway up to the bar doors.

She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him tightly, “Missed you.” Lola nuzzled her head into his neck breathing in the smell of his cologne.

“I missed you,” He had hugged her back and was stroking her hair with one of his hands, “Let’s get you home babe.”

“Kiss?” She asked looking up at him with those doe eyes. How could he say no? He was eager to do anything for her, to please her. He was there to fulfill all her needs how could he ever deny her?

“anything for you,” He mumbled leaning down and kissing her. He wanted it to be a soft kiss but when her fingers went into his hair and tugged him closer he couldn’t hold back. She kissed him hard and he was of course going to reciprocate. Their lips moved together in perfect synch yet a little messily. She wanted him and it wasn’t just because she was drunk.

Rafe was reminded of what she had been doing earlier when he started tasting the tequila on her tongue. He pulled away and kissed one more time softly, “Let’s go home.”

She nodded her head in a dizzy trance. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Lola wrapped her arms around his waist and happily hummed. She was practically leaning her whole body weight on him and it wasn’t even phasing him.

“So how many shots did you take huh?”

“Ohhhh just a few. And a couple tequila sodas.” She laughed.

They reached his car and he helped get her in, making sure she didn’t hit her head. He buckled her in, she just watched him with a dopey smile. Rafe jogged over to his side.

The ride was once again filled with comfortable silence. Mostly because Lola had fallen asleep. Rafe heard her light snores and smiled to himself. Once they got back to the house Rafe rushed over to get her. He ended up having to find her house key and then carry her inside.

He was glad he didn’t drink tonight because he gets to spend the night taking care of Lola. Once he’s walking through their bedroom door the girl in his arms starts stirring awake. He laid her down on the bed as she opened her eyes. Squinting as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Rafe you brought me up,” She mumbled and sat up on the bed. The sleep had sobered her up a bit. Enough to remember to take her makeup off and brush her teeth.

“Of course I did. You need anything?” He sat next to her rubbing her back.

“I’m gonna wash my face,” She mumbled rubbing her eyes, “Can you get me water and ibuprofen please. It’s in the cupboard on the left of the fridge.”

“I’ll be back,” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her head. He went downstairs to get whatever she needed. Rafe also took it upon himself to make her a grilled cheese and bacon knowing she hadn’t eaten since earlier in the day. The greasy food will help her feel better in the morning.

Lola washed her face and brushed her teeth. Feeling more sober and clean. She hadn’t drank that much in a while and now that she was older it hit her harder and worse. She went to her dresser to look for pajamas. Her eyes lit up when they came across the small floral tank top and matching boy short underwear. They were long enough to be considered very short sleep shorts. The part of her brain that was still a little drink was screaming at her to pick that set.

Her plan from earlier coming back to her. She didn’t think twice and grabbed them going to change. Lola looked like she was barely wearing any clothes, just what she wanted. If Rafe felt something for her then he would make a move on her or not reject her if she tried first. And she was almost positive that he did feel something for her. She fixed her hair a bit and put on some more lotion and deodorant.

“I brought you food too,” Rafe said as he entered the room. When she heard him shut the door she stepped out of the bathroom.

He looked up at her and froze. There she was standing in front of him in practically nothing. His hands were itching to touch her. The curves of her body and her pretty bare face were doing too much to him.

He cleared his throat and looked away going back to pulling the covers back, “I uh made you a grilled cheese and some bacon.” He motioned to the food on her nightstand. She smiled at him and mumbled a thanks. Lola walked over to her side and sat on the bed.

As she ate Rafe put on a movie for her before he went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. While he was gone Lola was giving herself a pep talk. She could do this, she’s almost 100% sure that he won’t reject her. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. She quickly finished her food before he came out and got herself ready adjusting her pajamas and her fixing her hair.

He stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but sweatpants. Lola took a deep breath as he sat down next to her.

“You feel better?” He asked looking over at her.

“Yeah I am, thanks for the food.” She turned to lay on her side, holding up her head on her hand.

He mimicked her position, “You’re welcome, how did your night go?”

“Hmmm it was good. The girls are crazy. I miss you though wish I had you by my side,” She said trying to give him her best puppy dog eyes.

Rafe swallowed hard, “Yeah? I missed you. What’s tomorrow’s plan?”

She shuffled closer to him, “Tomorrow we have family brunch and then rehearsal dinner. Then it’s the big day.”

He reached forward and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, “Easy last couple days then.”

She sighed deeply, “mhmm can I ask you a question?”

“Always.”

“So do you make all your clients feel like this?”

He tilted his head questioningly, “Like how?”

She shrugged looking at the white sheets under her, “Like they’re the only girl in the world.”

Rafe’s heart had started to pick up speed the closer she got. He didn’t know what game she was playing but it was a very dangerous one. He looked at the tv afraid that if he looked at her any longer he would do something he would regret.

“I think I like only making you feel that way,” He mumbled as he continued watching the movie.

“Rafe?” Lola asked in whisper.

“Yeah?” He finally turned to her and she was a lot closer than before.

Instead of answering him she cupped his face and leaned in kissing him softly. Slightly hesitant in case he didn’t want this, but then he cupped her face and pulled her in harder. She sighed satisfied with his response. Rafe felt like his lungs were going to explode, she was so suffocating in the best way. He grabbed her thigh and pulled it so that she was now on top of him. The very minimal clothes they had on made them be even closer.

Lola tugged on his hair as she arched her back slightly to get closer to him. Rafe ran his hands all over her, touching wherever her could. This was much better than he imagined. Yes they’d kissed a few times but it was never just them and it wasn’t like this.

When Rafe’s lips moved down to her neck he came to a realization. She had been drinking earlier and he’s pretty sure she’s at least tipsy still. He pulled away gently resting his forehead against hers.

He cleared his throat and quietly spoke up, “Sweetheart I can’t.”

Lola pulled away a little. Confusion taking over her features, “I-I thought you..” Her face flushed in humiliation. Had he read his body language wrong? Had she interrupted his words wrong?

“No no Lola I want to, but you’ve been drinking and I think you should be sober. I don’t sleep with drunk women,” Rafe tried to reassure but his last sentence made her nauseous.

She sat back farther, “But it’s me Rafe. It’s not some random client that paid for you.”

Rafe laughed softly not really reading the tension in the room. He thought she was just messing around, “Babe you paid for me.”

Lola rolled her eyes and got off of him, “Yeah you’re right, I’m really tired.”

“Lola,” Rafe said knowing something was wrong.

“Rafe I’m tired can we just not,” She mumbled as she tucked herself under the covers. Her back towards him so he couldn’t see her biting her quivering lip. Had Rafe just been doing all of this and acting this way because it was his job? She couldn’t blame him but Lola swore she saw something between them for just a split second.

Rafe watched her for a few seconds before turning off the lights and laying back. He had fucked it up somehow and he was going to do everything possible to make it up to her.

He had to fix it.

-

tags: @rosal1nd , @magicwithaknife , @f4ll-for-you, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp, @loveu-always , @weareatthebadlands

(if you would like to be tagged or removed let me know!)

(also if you already asked me & I missed you I am so sorry pls send another message)

[la-gotica-fantasma]

who you been kissing?

characters - fem!reader x brenda (i can’t help myself)

setting - safe haven (movie version (sorry))

word count - 1k

warnings - supposed cheating, crying, mention of being drugged (consensually, semi?), mention of alcohol, cussing

summary - after making it to the safe haven you find out thomas and brenda kissed, heart broken and angry you and brenda communicate, not just by words.

second warning - if i used any words incorrectly, please correct me. english is not my first language and i am not confident in myself, but im also too confident to check every word i use in a dictionary.

song used in picture above - “Man” by SOMOH

authors notes - i am so sorry this is shit i needed to post a fic before i blasted off. brenda and you are supposed to be a little bit spoken but not super official. yeah, i made newt survive. frypan and you are like bestfriends i suppose, and you and newt are close too.

“Oh come on!” A male voice rang from outside of the kitchen you were working, Frypan having asked you to help clean the dishes after dinner.

“I don’t have anything for you, Thomas. I didn’t mean to-” That was Brenda’s voice, you knew that. You could tell her voice from anywhere.

But why was Brenda arguing with Thomas?

“Then-” A long sigh escaping his lips. “Then why did you kiss me?”

Brenda kissed Thomas? Why? When? Where? What.

Shock swallowed you whole, shock and anger. The color drained from your face as you frantically tried to organize yourself.

You knew you promised Frypan you’d clean up the dishes for him, but you don’t think you could bare listening to their conversation any longer.

Slamming the sponge and soap on top of the counter, you made your way to the pantry where Frypan was sorting food.

“Something came up, don’t ask. I don’t want to talk. Just- its about Brenda.”

Frypan took enough from that sentence, he had an idea of what you heard.

“Yeah, don’t worry [Name]. It’s fine. Newt offered to help too, on your way out if you could just grab him and let him know?” He smiled, it was a reassuring smile. You were thankful for that kid, he knew you well.

On your way out, reality started to kick in even more. Tears brimming your waterline as you made your way to the hut Newt should be.

Why would Brenda kiss him? What did Thomas have that I didn’t? I thought I was hers.

Knocking at the door, Newt let you in. He almost immediately noticed your crushed state.

“Hey, hey? Are you okay? What happened?” His voice was hard to discern through your dissociated mind. You knew his pressing and prying was all from a place of care but it only made your tears fall.

You didn’t know how much longer you could keep it together.

“Oh- no. I’m fine-” You started, lifting your head to look at him.

“Bloody hell, you don’t seem it.” He spoke.

“No, I am. Fry just needs your help washing the dishes. That’s all.” Your voice cracking every now and again.

“Okay,” He began, surveying you.

You knew he knew that you weren’t fine.

“Is it about Brenda?”

Told you so. a little voice in the back of your head echoed. How come everyone knows?

“Yeah. Yeah. She-" hiccup, "She kissed Thomas.” You mumbled.

“I think you need to sit down with Brenda and have an actual talk, to learn when it happened and why.” He said, calmly nodding.

And then, that’s what you were doing.

You weren't done being upset but you needed an explanation. now.

Marching your way up to her hut, you didn’t even bother to knock as you pushed her door open.

“[Name]?” Brenda said, she sounded urgent.

She looked a bit disrupted by your arrival, or maybe it was your appearance. - The tears still streaming down your blushed face.

She sprung up from her spot on her cot. “What happened?”

Can’t believe she’s asking.

“You kissed him?” You gasped, disheveled and ripped of breath.

Her face switched from concern and confusion to concern and understanding.

“Are you okay for me to explain?” She asked.

You slowly nodded your head as you looked down at your feet.

“It was at that party, the one where they drugged us,” Her words were gentle, comforting. Even though what she spoke of was nothing comfortable.

She continued as she closed the door and you both went to sit on her bed.

“I was in some hallucinatory state, and I know that that doesn’t change anything. And I know this all just sounds like excuses,” Her eyes looking to you for any chance you would hear her out. “But [Name], it was you looking at me. To me, it was your hand I grabbed. To me it was you who I pressed my lips against. The moment it was over and done I had passed out.” She sighed a long sigh, she searched in your eyes to find direction. To find if she said something wrong, needed to shut up, or needed to continue.

“But, why didn’t you tell me?” You were broken, you’ve been through hell and back but you’ve never felt that broken. Why did it hurt so damn bad? Why did it feel like your rips had shattered

“Because, I didn’t remember it. It all came back to me when Thomas told me earlier today, outside of the kitchen, I’m sure you heard...”

You nodded slowly again.

“Y/n, I promise you, no man will ever come between our friendship.” Her words stung.

She had just told you she hallucinated kissing you when she kissed some icky man, and now she wants to label this only as a friendship?

“Yeah. ‘Friendship.’” You sarcastically muttered, looking off to the side with annoyance.

“Here, just let me prove it,” She confidently answered. And before you knew it she had grabbed either side of your face and was on you, kissing you?

Shock subsiding, you kissed her back.

Her hands wove around your neck, one arm falling down your back and the other twisting itself into your hair from your nape. Your hands resting on her hips.

She pulled back and gazed at you, her lips red and puffy from the kiss.

“Real you is a way better kisser.”

[just-a-girl-who-loves-tmr]

Headcanons

Recovery, Post death-cure, safe haven

(I’m sorry in advance)

Tw: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts/attempts, self harm, panic attacks etc

Thomas

- This man has some extreme survivors guilt from everything.

- He gets flashbacks, especially in dreams, of him working with WICKED, helping them build the maze and having to watch his friends through the beetle blades.

- He feels responsible for everything his friends went through in the glade and for not trying harder to help them (even though the others have continuously told him that they don’t blame him and it wasn’t his fault).

- Even through the scorch, he feels guilty for not doing more to help because if he had only acted faster, they might not be there at all.

- He sometimes has panic attacks because of this and on the worst days he wishes he could have died instead of his friends because he feels like their deaths were his fault.

- Occasionally he turns to self harm, believing that he deserved to feel the pain he put his friends to.

- Newt found him once with the knife in his hand and immediately stopped him, cleaning the cuts and making Thomas promise never to do it again because nothing was his fault and he doesn’t deserve to feel pain.

- Newt then makes it a regular occurrence to draw little butterflies on Thomas’s wrist and arms (iykyk)

- Newt got really worried the first time Thomas had a panic attack in front of him because he didn’t really know what to do to help but he slowly figured out little ways to calm him down.

- Taking him to a quiet, familiar place, helping him breathe, making him tea and cuddling up with a blanket and a movie on in the background

Newt

- I think I already covered this in another post but being sick is a huge trigger for Newt. He gets super edgy and Thomas can tell. He continuously checks his arms just in case the veins are black

- I’m convinced he’s got Emetophobia (fear of throwing up) because it triggers memories of when he had the flare and he felt nauseous all the time.

- His immune system is weaker than everyone else’s so he gets sick a lot more often than the others and even a simple cold would have him shivering in bed all day with tea and five blankets

- Newt also doesn’t like to acknowledge the fact that he’s sick because he doesn’t want people fussing over him and asking him if he’s okay so he will just say ‘I’m fine’ as he’s actively throwing up.

- He usually distances himself whenever he’s ill because he’s scared that he’s not cured and is going to snap and hurt someone but Thomas isn’t having it.

- Thomas will wrap him up in a blanket and hug him until Newt stops struggling to get away and melts into a little shivery puddle in Thomas’s arms

- Once he’s finally accepted that he is ill, Newt becomes very very clingy towards Thomas and stays in bed all day with tea and a hot water bottle

- I also think Newt and Brenda would be really good friends in the safe haven because they’ve both had the flare before (obviously Brenda was cured relatively quickly but still) so they can relate to each other and Newt sometimes feels like Brenda’s the only one who really knows what he went through, so he talks to her about it when he doesn’t want to go vent to Thomas or Minho

- He has a lot of nightmares from when he was a crank, often dreaming that he had died or else had cracked and hurt someone and more than once has woken up screaming with tears in his eyes and blood in his mouth because he bit his tongue so hard.

- His broken leg gets better over time but it never fully heals. Jorge told him that he should really be using a cane or a crutch but Newt done right refuses either because he hates people making a fuss over it and he will still work even if the pain is so bad he literally has to hop around (Thomas isn’t having this either and drags Newt to bed and massages his leg for him)

- Newt still had suicidal thoughts. They aren’t as strong as they were in the glade and he doesn’t seriously consider trying anything but it’s always in the back of him mind. Thomas is the one who gets him his little safety pin necklace because he knows it’s something Newt struggles with ( and yes Newt did cry when Thomas gave it to him. Tell me I’m wrong)

I will do Minho, Gally, and everyone else but I’m splitting it up into different posts just so y’all aren’t waiting forever <33

[moxie-starre]

Ok I’m not posting the next design today cuz ya boi is tired so how about I lore dump instead? Cool? Cool.

(Btw this AU was brought on by a long hyperfixation on the GUILTY TEARS AU by NotExactlyLaborious so go watch that and I’ll be trying make it as different from that as possible I promise 😅)

VIRGIL/ANXIETY:

Design Inspired by: honestly idk I just thought the mask was cool

Videos would be inspired by: LaceyGames or maybe The Painter (except not done completely awfully/imo)

Virgil is 100% convinced Thomas is a horrible person, but is now untrusting towards anyone’s ideas on how to improve him. He desperately tries to warn Thomas of what he’s ‘becoming,’ but isn’t sure how to make him listen except fear. Logan isn’t around to help Virgil anymore so he’s on his own.

PATTON/VIRTUE

Design: Old rubber hose/ horror mascots like The Cartoon Cat with some Spinel inspiration , as well as general Priest-wear

Videos: imagine old black and white PSAs or those fucked-up church/cult cartoons. Obviously, spooks ensue

Patton is also convinced that Thomas is a bad person, which make him go full catholic. He tries to convince Thomas using the imagery of heaven and hell, which only fuels his anxiety (virgil is always suffering:)). All the while, Patton is trying to act as Thomas’s Temporary Logic, which means he had even MORE control, which means Virgil is a gust of wind away from a nervous breakdown.

ROMAN/pride

Design: alternates/doplgangers (Mandela catalogue)

Videos: I’m not 100% sure rn but I’ll think of something soon

Reminder: Thomas(in universe) is a content creator, so a lot of his LIVELIHOOD depends on his creativity and his ability to make. Roman, however, has deemed himself unworthy of having the title “creativity” after Thomas learns about Remus. He thinks Thomas is going to replace him, that he has no further role as creativity. Janus has convinced him that he’s the reason Thomas is a bad person, and so he’s distracted himself with trying to prove his worth as a good person, while also trying to reclaim the role of Creativity, even though Thomas never said he wasn’t (cuz even in horror, he’s still extra). All of the stress causes his body to break, becoming abstract art.

Playlist for this AU:

Virgil-

AMYGDALAS RAGDOLL-Ghost

YGIO-MiaRissy

IRREVERENT GIRL-WeevilDoing

Patton-

HAPPY DAYS-Ghost

LOVE-Creepp

MISS MISERYGUTS-the Rip

Roman-

CALIBER GIRL-Weevidoing

KARAKURI PIERO-40mp

GOMENNE-Kikuo

Also I’m calling this AU INNOCENCE LOST if anyone was wondering lol

[subjecta5newtella]

some nalby for @mazerunner-rarepairs month - AU square

It’s late evening after a light post-season practice, and Alby and Newt are headed for the dining hall when Minho catches up with them. 

“Alby!” he calls, jogging over and blocking their exit from the soccer fields. 

Alby sighs. “What?”

“Three of the freshmen challenged Thomas and I to a scrimmage, and everyone else has already left.”

“I’ve already cooled down, I’m not going to start running again.”

“Aw, come on. Thomas and I could beat them two-on-three, but that’ll damage their morale.”

“Call someone else back, then. I’m done for the day.”

Technically, he’s done in general. He’s a graduating senior who doesn’t have to come to practice at all anymore, but as the outgoing captain, he still feels a sense of responsibility. And maybe he’s not quite ready to let go, but that’s another thing entirely. Still, he draws the line at getting all sweaty again because of Minho’s pride or whatever. 

In a stunning display of self-restraint, Minho concedes that battle, then turns. “Hey, Newt?”

“What?”

“If we all promise to go easy on you, do you wanna join?”

Alby catches the exact moment when something sparks to life in Newt’s eyes.

It’s probably a bad idea. Newt can run on his bad leg, but only short distances, and his ankle and hip both have a tendency to hurt the next day. The shift in his balance makes dribbling more challenging than it used to be—he can do it, but it’s not the simple thing it once was. Newt knows all that intimately, of course, but Alby also knows he misses soccer like nothing else, had spent an evening on the bathroom floor in tears between bouts of throwing up vodka on the anniversary of the day he’d been told he’d never play competitively again. He’s a student coach now, and a damn good one in Alby’s (admittedly biased) opinion, but that’s far from the same. 

“You’ll go easy on me, eh?” Newt says, with a smile that looks a little dangerous.

“Well, you know, it’s been a while, we don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to convince me to play against you.”

“Aw, come on. The freshmen are getting way too cocky.”

“Fine. But if you mention anything about going easy on me again, I’m betraying you and joining them.”

He hands his backpack over to Alby, who can’t help but say, “Be careful.”

Newt rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.” He jogs out onto the field, managing his limp with relative smoothness.

Thomas does a little bit of a double take when he sees Newt joining them, but he drops back to take up a position on his right. He’d played right midfielder when he’d transferred to their school, before Newt had moved him to the left to cover a skill gap, and that combination of Thomas and Minho on their left flank had scored them the game winning goal in conference championships. 

It’s not just Alby’s biased opinion, really. Newt’s a good coach. He’s already gotten an offer to stay on next year as a paid position, and he’s probably going to take it, which means Alby needs to find a job here, even though neither of them have actually talked about that out loud. It’s the two of them. It’ll always be the two of them. 

A couple minutes into the scrimmage, Newt strips the ball from George and sends it up to Minho to do the rest of the running, and in that fast, fluid movement, Alby remembers the way he used to be. Starting lineup, number five, center forward. Quick. Vicious. Glorious. Other teams complained about facing him, and every time they did, Alby felt a stab of pride. People watched him, people admired him, but there were times when Newt would pull off something impossible and look back with a smile that was sharp and wild and beautiful and Alby had known it was for him.

Alby loves this version of Newt without question and he knows he will for the rest of his life, but sometimes it’s hard not to mourn the way things were supposed to be. It’s selfish, maybe. His life is not the one most affected. Knowing it’s selfish doesn’t stop him from feeling it sometimes, 

Newt’s alive, though, which is something Alby doesn’t take for granted, and in the present moment he’s celebrating Minho’s goal. It’s a little tasteless, maybe, but it’s also their first time playing together since sophomore year and they’ve already scored, so they might be entitled.

The game continues and Alby loses himself in it, watching the way Newt and Minho click back into being a solid offensive unit, how Thomas works well with the two of them even in a position that he hasn’t played in a while. It’s easy to forget that he and Newt have never actually played together. They’re a good team. They could’ve been a great one, but that’s the kind of unproductive reasoning Alby tries to shut down whenever Newt gets caught up in it, so he does his best to close it off within himself as well. 

After about ten minutes, Newt slows, then stops, mimes bowing out. He joins Alby on the sidelines as the others keep messing around, retying his hair as he does. “Can’t keep up with the youth anymore.”

“Hurt?”

“Nah. Just old. No stamina anymore.”

Alby’s not sure he believes that, because Newt’s barely even breathing hard, but Alby lets it go because he also doesn’t look like he’s in pain, either. He’ll take an excuse over a breaking point any day.

“You looked good out there,” Alby says, handing Newt’s backpack back to him. 

Newt gives him a sarcastic little salute. “Thanks, Captain. I was awaiting your approval.”

“Shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Newt says, then after a moment adds, “Thanks.”

Things will never be what they used to be. It’s a waste of time to pretend otherwise. But he has Newt, and Newt has him, and they’ll get through together. They always do. 

Alby laces his fingers through Newt’s, and they head off for dinner.