#I added more examples of pictures bc it is actually SO HARD TO EDIT THE COMMISSION PAGE😵‍💫

[myokk]

✨COMMISSIONS OPEN✨

ALSO INCLUDES DIGITAL ART NOW♥️

I’m opening up 3 slots, first come, first serve. I do the commissions in order of being contacted but it will be done within a few weeks🫶

I think everything is pretty self-explanatory, but if you have any questions please feel free to ask!!!! I don’t bite😇 when you send me the request, please be sure to be pretty detailed, and I’ll ask any follow-up questions if need be.

I expect half paid up-front (I do other types of commissions and…I’ve learned this is the best way🥺), and once I get it I start on the commission. I’ll send the initial sketch and there can be one revision, then I’ll start on the final piece.

I’m not sure that anyone will want one, but I wanted to put this out there anyways!! Thanks for reading🥹🫶😙

Also, this isn’t HL specific!!! It could literally be for any fandom, any characters etc.

If you’re interested you can message me here or on discord (myookk) 🫶🫶🫶

[canmom]

I've been watching so much youtube lately bc it's brain numbing when in executive dysfunction stuck in bed mode. i say, I'll just watch a video to calm my brain down and then I'll do stuff. or, I'll start this video and then watch it as i go downstairs for breakfast. usually it ends up being two or three videos during which i don't go anywhere and i lose an hour.

anyway that means i have a bunch of thoughts about videos in my head.

firstly, a whole lot of art pedagogy these days takes place on a handful of youtube channels. these are... mostly pretty solid for addressing the teachable parts of the major artistic styles that most people want to pursue: academic figure drawing, illustration for Instagram, japanese commercial illustration, anime keyframes, concept art... mostly the ones I've watched focus on digital drawing and painting because that's my medium, but i know there are others targeting traditional media.

some of them are very dry lectures with minimal imagery, such as Tonari Animation's videos on the anime pipeline. others are pretty slick affairs like Proko, where a short scripted and edited lesson on a specific subject will be mixed with a brief bit of comedy and an ad for the extra info in the paid course. some of them are clearly run as a business that effectively functions as an ad for paid content, with clickbaity titles and framings (levels from noob to pro, n ways to improve your painting), others upload when the artist feels like it (Sinix and dong chang are very infrequent uploaders but generally very good content). some are long and rambling, mixing practical drawing advice with philosophical meditations on being an artist (Steven Zapata is the one I'm thinking of here, more on that momentarily). there's clearly a whole ecosystem of Japanese videos as well, notably Naoki Saito whose videos are subtitled in English, who mainly makes paintover videos where he advises artists on composition and technique. some of them lean much harder on the comedy and character performance, such as Ethan Becker, who frames his videos as critiques of other art advice, but also overloads it with irony and jokes to the point that it's hard to work out what he's actually advising.

on the whole this is probably a good thing, in that each of these artists tends to bring some specific insight into the process. for example, the concept of 'shape design' developed over a variety of videos by primarily Sinix and Marco Bucci but also inspiring various others to elaborate on it including Borocg, Moderndayjames and Kenzo of Love Life Drawing, has been one of the most useful framings I've found for thinking about the elements of pictures, simple and complex. and there's an immense utility in seeing a time lapse of the artist applying the principles they're espousing, it makes it considerably more concrete.

the problem - of course i would say there's a problem - i think comes with the way this becomes a kind of scripture laying out the right and proper way to do art. i see a lot of very young novice artists telling each other to 'use forms' or 'practice gesture' in this almost ritualistic way. very few of them talk outside of the specifics of technique onto any broader talk around making art, and so it tends to push people towards the idea that 'good art' is teachable art; it's measured by its ability to correctly apply the principles, whether the sacred twelve principles of animation or the more vague set of principles of perspective, line quality, gesture, and design.

this gap only really became obvious when i watched some videos of Steven Zapata, whose videos tend to be long time lapses of incredibly technically adept pencil rendering which talk as much or more about forming a fulfilling 'art practice' as the how of shading etc, all delivered in a very soothing voice. Zapata argues that it's important to work out what specifically appeals to you in art and develop strong aesthetic opinions, and drill down on that motivating thing rather than spend years trying to take a 'broad shotgun approach' where you gatekeep actual art-making behind a certain number of dry technical exercises. when i came across this, i was pretty deep into grind flagellant mode, and it was a breath of fresh air. but anyway he's kind of said his piece now, and most of his recent videos are streams.

instead the artist whose caught the most of my time recently has been Naoki Saito. his videos - despite the translation being a little wobbly - have an almost too compelling frame: an artist writes to the master for help, and he edits and repaints the picture, explaining the reasoning behind each stage, and at the end you see a picture which (the majority of times) carries the spirit of the original with more appeal. it helps of course that the people writing in are almost all working in what we could loosely call '2010s anime style', maybe even moe; there are certain idioms of stylisation (face contours, proportions, ways of painting eyes and hair, ways of rendering surfaces) common to a lot of them, though he generally seems good at honouring the specific quirks of a picture in his corrections rather than impose a uniform style. anyway thanks to him i learned the term 'atsunuri' ('thick painting'), which is a useful way to understand 'more than cel shaded but not fully rendered' style prevalent on sites like pixiv. i don't want to only be able to draw anime, but i do want to be able to do it at all convincingly, and get better at digital rendering beyond cel shading, so i think i can siphon out a lot from him.

anyway, the thing with all these art channels is the thing with everything: exercise judgement, take what's worth keeping and drop what isn't, a judgement that will vary from person to person. the more styles that are represented the better. i don't think perspective and rendering are the measure of art - indeed, some of my absolute favourite illustrators disregard them to great effect - but for me, being able to draw in a way that looks refined and 3D is important in a way i can't justify or explain, a deep part of the appeal of the seinen manga artists that make me stop and go 'wow' like shintaro kago or suehiro maruo or hideo yamamoto or junji ito, or the 90s realist school of animators who worked on projects like memories, ghost in the shell or satoshi kon's films, or more recently takeshi koike. i just don't know how to thread the needle of pursuing such a project without accidentally upholding the cult of realism!

anyway. that's probably enough for one post. tomorrow let me talk about that folding ideas guy.

sure are a lot of blokes in these videos...

[actual-fucking-clown]

Take your time then.

Aizawa x gender neutral reader

Story under the cut :)

Unedited but like edited but still not properly edited :)

Hope you enjoy!!!

a/n: it’s been a hot min since I’ve written a fic. I think the last time i was 14 and it was shit and on wattpad. Ha. I hate myself. N e way, I was recently writing some shit for an au me and my friend thought up and in the back of my mind I was like, “you should start writing fics again bc this is kinda fun”, soo lo and behold I made a post asking if anyone would be interested, shared a little too much personal shit in it but whatever, and have now decided to write this mother fucker. (3/25/21)

a/n: not sure if anyone will care about this series of a/n’s but I’m just chronicling thoughts ig. rewriting rn bc my first draft was short and ass. Also I’m thinking about opening requests after this is posted, will go into detail in a diff post maybe. (3/28/21)

a/n: deleted everything, rewriting. I just want to make something that might be decent and if I can give that feeling, y’know those chills you get when you read something utterly gorgeous, but I’m bad at writing. sadge (3/28/21, like several hours later)

a/n: ugh (4/1/21)

a/n: ugh pt 2 electric boogaloo. I can’t seem to move forward with the writing. I realized something like this might happen bc to solve a problem feelings need to be discussed and I fucking hate doing that so you can see where I’m fucking up lmaooooo (4/2/21)

a/n: I read angst to fuel my writing brain. So, read some angst, finally writing agian. This first section is probs as long as the story itself LMFAO(4/5/21)

Started: (3/25/21) Finished: (4/5/21)

Warnings: uh angst, curse words, like a lot, (i saw someone else put this as a warning, do I actually need it?), avoiding problems instead of actually facing them, mentions of shit so-so parenting, mentions of not being able to live up to high expectations, y’know, the works

Synopsis: Aizawa takes in Eri without running it by you first and expects you to be okay with it. That’s funny. He was wrong.

Can I preface this with a thought? I’m going to anyway,

all the fics I read paint him as the sweetest partner and I’m sure he is but I think they miss out on how blunt he is and his whole “Mr. Rationality” thing. So as much as I adore him I think there are situations that he’d be a bit more colder towards, a bit more straightforward about. Maybe even like a bit insensitive about but maybe bc he doesn’t have the full picture or something. so I guess this is another warning but aizawa is a little insensitive in the beginning (but like not really but kinda. it’s complicated)

~

Rain pattered softly against the window. The smell of some old random Bath and Bodyworks candle you’d dug out from a box you’d never bothered to unpack smothered the room. Some Netflix show idly played on a low volume on your computer, you’d lost interest in watching tv awhile ago. You needed a break. After the eventful month you’d been having you really needed this. 

Now of course your whole year so far had been eventful. What with all the villain attacks on you and Shouta’s class and the kidnapping of one of your students, to just dealing with the more mundane problems with your students. No. You had no problem with that. The villains, although not easy, were something you were trained to handle. The smaller problems with your students weren’t arduous either, after all you weren’t too much older than them. 

When reflecting on your situation, from and outside perspective it could be seen as the straw the broke the camels back, which sure, makes sense. After all, you’re bound to be stressed out by everything else, so why would this seemingly insignificant thing weigh heavier than a villain attack? Well if that is the situation why does this single straw feel like it weighs a ton? This is not that. This is not culmination of the events of this year draining the life from you. This is something entirely different. A panic inducing life change that completely took you by surprise mixed with your inability to actually face your problems. 

You don’t blame them. You can’t. They’ve done nothing wrong. A child. A small, probably mentally scarred child is your problem. Well not her personally but the fear taking care of her instills in you. Despite working in the field that you do, you cannot for the life of you handle actual children. Sure you’re a little awkward with your class but at least they’re young adults and (vaguely) mature and independent to a certain extent. The fact that your long term boyfriend just came back one day, small child in tow and said “Hey I’ve gotta look after this one now” not verbatim obviously, for a lack of better words, fucked you up. He basically solo adopted a kid and, let’s be honest, he probably expected you to help out. But how could you? How could this man look at you and think “I want this person to help me raise an already fucked up child?” Ok sure, he doesn’t at first give off the “I’m totally father figure material” vibe but in the end he is extremely competent. You on the other hand, not so much.

You’d never been good with children. Tried your best to steer clear of them. Didn’t matter the place, didn’t matter who’s kid, you couldn’t handle them. You would just stand there, awkwardly, not entirely sure of what to do and petrified that there was the possibility of making some mistake which would upset the child and then oh wow look, your head got chopped right of your shoulders. That’s hyperbole of course but it does sum up the insurmountable fear that overcomes you whenever you have to deal with a child. So considering the fact that your long term boyfriend had suddenly decided to adopt and not at least warn you, didn’t sit right with you.

So, the best and most obvious choice, was to avoid your problem. Avoid Shouta, avoid Eri. Avoid the mention of them and you, avoid it all. And honestly you’d done pretty well so far. You were able to have as little contact with them as possible considering the close proximity of your living quarters in the teacher’s dorms. After all they were legally supposed to give you two separate rooms but you never actually used yours, well until now. You were living it up honestly. Did you feel awful? Of course. He is your boyfriend after all and you were sure Eri doesn’t deserve your cold shoulder but this is probably for the best. What could you offer her? You weren’t sure that you were a good role model for her or anyone for that matter. What did you know about raising kids? it’s not like you had parents to set a proper example for you. Of course they might have shown you what not to do but where do you go from there? Is shit like that really avoidable? You don’t want to be like them. You strive to be better but what if you can’t be. There’s also the added bonus of the fact that raising a kid seems taxing on a relationship. Now matter how strong you were sure that the stress of a kid could break a relationship down that then festers into something toxic and unrecognizable. You didn’t want that. God you couldn’t let that happen. No. This was definitely for the better.

Of course Aizawa didn’t feel the same. He was confused on why his partner had been so blatantly avoiding him. Did he do something wrong? He doesn’t remember doing anything that might’ve upset you. So why now? Why pull away now? He had to get down to the bottom of this but catching you was the hard part. You had been taking on more work, offering more assistance to the other teachers, picking up extra patrols, doing everything and anything to stay away from Shouta. It took him a month but he finally caught up to you. You were tired, worn out he knew that. Instead of loading yourself with work you’d decided to hole yourself up in your room. It was now or never.

You were pulled out of your peace at the sound of a few gentle knocks to your door. You really didn’t want to get it. You honestly couldn’t be bothered. 

“(N/n)? Are you in there?” He hadn’t gotten it wrong right? He hadn’t been too distracted earlier and missed you leaving right?

“What’s up?” You hummed from your place by the window, not bothering to actually open the door.

“Can I come in?” Shouta asked, voice soft. You could barely hear him above the patter of the rain and the low humming of your laptop.

“Uh, no, kinda busy. Got loads of work to do. Need to focus, sorry. Maybe later?” You hesitantly spoke. Not sure if you were convincing enough. 

Apparently you weren’t.

He sighed. “It’s been “later” for an entire month. Please (Y/n) just let me in. Whatever this is we can talk it out.” You had predicted that eventually Shouta would start to try to crack down on whatever the issue was but you didn’t expect it so soon. 

“Uh...no?” You tried, hoping that maybe he’d just give up but that wasn’t Shouta.

“No, you don’t get that option, now please, open the door.” Although it was still soft his voice had taken a more stern tone.

“Oh no I’m dead. I guess I can’t open the door. What a shame. I guess the only way to talk with me now is in the pits of hell.” You quipped, trying to lessen the tension that already ran thick.

“(Y/n).” Aizawa sighed.

“Jeez fine. Talk about pushy.” You quipped once more to no avail.

Opening the door you were met with, well exactly what you expected. He stood there, arms crossed, a stern yet gentle look in his eyes, his lips pulled into a slight frown. 

“Come in.” You mumbled as you stepped further into your room.

“So tell me. What’s wrong?” The sentence stirred so much. Of course you wanted to tell him. You wanted to spill your guts to the man you loved in hopes of comfort but you just can’t. You know you’ll just scare him off. You know you’ll make things worse.

So you stay silent.

He says nothing as he grabs your hands gently and leads you over to your bed. He sits the two of you down on the edge, muting the movie on the laptop sitting behind him.

“You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you right?” Shouta sent you a warm smile. 

You weren’t very comfortable with discussing your feelings sometimes, it mostly stemmed from the fact that you never really could discuss them with anyone growing up which made it harder to confide in anyone now, as at this point bottling things up was a habit. But this was also just something that you were sure that you couldn’t talk about.

Silence answered him once again.

Now he took sometime to think about his approach, think about what could’ve happened that made you pull away. What did he do that was different from his norm? He was genuinely stumped and the fact that you weren’t helping him confused him even more.

You decided to take this time to lament the situation too. What was he going to do? Should you actually tell him or play it off? If you play it off will he still insist that something is wrong? If you tell him will he leave you? If you don’t tell him will he leave you? You risked a glance at him, he was still deep in thought.

Why did you have to adopt this fucking kid without at least warning me?

“What?” Your head shot up at the sound of his shocked voice.

“What?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Eri’s the problem...?” He spoke slowly, not entirely sure if he’d heard you right.

“Did I say that out loud?” You squeaked.

“I’m pretty sure you mumbled something along the lines of “why’d you have to adopt that fucking kid”.” Shouta said, unsure if he’d heard wrong. Wanting to have heard wrong.

“No no no no no no! It’s not like that! I mean it is like that but not like that!” You frantically waved your hands in hopes of defusing the situation.

The way he looked at you made you want to cry. You felt horrible. You felt like the biggest asshole in the world and, at this point you probably were. He looked at you with such a look of heartbreak and disappointment and confusion it made you sick to your stomach. You felt light-headed and started shaking. You were right. You were right. You were always right. God why did you have to be right! Why did you have to be like this? Scared of raising a fucking child! It was asinine and irrational and you could probably move past it  but thanks to your stupid fucking brain you just sealed your fate.

You scooted away from him still waving your hands frantically as no’s tumbled endlessly from your lips. You tried sputtering an apology, anything so that he wouldn’t look at you like that but nothing stuck. Nothing was comprehensible. Nothing worked. Nothing would work. Nothing will work. You were hopeless. It was hopeless. 

“If it isn’t like how it seems then tell it to me straight.” Shouta finally spoke up.

You took a second to come down from your panic. You steeled your nerves as much as possible before you spoke. 

“Um well, I have nothing against her it’s just that a little heads up would’ve been nice? I’m not all that great with kids so this is just kind of weird is all.” You were purposefully being vague in hopes that he’d understand what you meant and also maybe drop it.

“Not great with kids? You’re literally a teacher.” He pointed out.

“Yeah you know but she’s like a kid kid and let’s be honest I’m not too great with the students either.” You awkward laughed. So he wasn’t getting it.

“Wha-you’re fine with the students and I’m sure you’ll be fine with Eri, there was no reason to avoid me over this.” Shouta sighed. As good as he was with dealing with people, he was equally as shit. Or maybe it was just the fact that you gave him very little to work with. It was probably a bit of both. Still his dismissiveness was not helping you right now.

“No, no, no, no. I think I’ll stay here. Uh, good luck with your parenthood escapades and sorry to leave you high and dry like this but that’s going to have to be a no from me.” You rambled. He seemed to be getting a little tired of this.

“(Y/n) stop being irrational. She’s not even our kid I’m just looking after her for now. Why are you being difficult? I told you you were fine with the students and you’ll be fine with Eri, what else do you want to hear?” Shouta grumbled.

“Well uh I don’t know, uh...” You trailed off, this seemed to be going in a direction you really didn’t want it to go. A slight hostility settling in the air.

At your lack of a proper answer he clicked his tongue. He took a moment to reassess the situation. There had to be something he was missing. After all you were getting really worked up but if you weren’t going to talk to him there was nothing he could do. He shook his head before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“(Y/n), please, please, just be honest with me. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell me. But I won’t be able to understand if you don’t.” Aizawa sighed, deciding that getting worked up about this was not the way to go, especially when you seemed to be especially distraught.

“Uh, god the thing is I don’t know entirely what to say to put the shitshow in my head into perspective.” You mumbled, trying desperately to figure out what to say that could clear the air but nothing seemed to be coherent enough.

“Take your time.” He decided that this was the best approach to things, making sure neither party got too worked up lest this turn into a fight.

The rain continued to patter softly against the window and your candle continued to burn an slightly off floral-ish scent.  A deafening silence hung in the air because even though he was being as patient as possible some of his frustration leaked through, it was bound to though so you couldn’t exactly blame him. After all, you were probably equally as frustrated with yourself too. 

“I’m just not good in a position like this. I’m not good with kids, especially someone like Eri who’s already so broken. You have that nurturing nature, it comes natural to you but I’m not on that level. I  don’t know the first thing about caring for a child let alone one as already traumatized as her. I’d fuck it up and only make things worse. I don’t want you to reassure me that I’ll be okay with her, I want you to understand that I’m not comfortable with this and that it might take me awhile to come around. I’m sure I sound like the biggest asshole ever but please understand that this just isn’t something I’m ready for.” You had rambled a bit, you were aware of that, but it was the only way that you could properly express your feelings without making things too complicated.

Aizawa said nothing. Trying to figure out how to go about things.

Was he upset? Yeah, you two, even after several long years of being together, hadn’t discussed moving forward in your relationship in depth. And if he’d tried you seemed content with the point you two were at so he left it be, no reason to try and move forward when what you had was already fine the way it was. But recently he’d been craving more. Some mornings, when he’d be the first to wake, he’d study your features in the soft light of the sunrise and wonder what it’d be like to properly settle down with you. Get married, start a family, all that jazz. He’d taken in Eri only because it was the most rational decision. His quirk would be good for quelling hers had it ever gotten out of hand. But it also seemed to quell his musings of something more with you. He had imagined you being a good parental figure for the little girl and it made his heart flutter and his stomach explode with butterflies. But now seeing that that wasn’t what you wanted and how you weren’t ready for it, it stung. But in the end, he loved you. He’d easily give his life for you. So, if that meant waiting he’d wait. He’d wait a million years if he had to. He could do it.

Once again he spoke,

“Take your time then. I can wait.”

Tagslist?: @captainchrisstan (I think you said you wanted to be tagged but I’m also just small brained lol If u didn’t want to and I misinterpreted things just let me know :) )

[pateldevs]

Hi! I hope I'm not bothering you, but I love your mood board edits and was wondering if you could explain how you go about making/colouring them? I see lots of places to find gifs but turning them into a set is so hard. Thank you in advance!

hi! first of all thank you so much and second of all it’s not a bother at all! i am happy to give some of my own tips even if my explanation probably isn’t super helpful. i won’t give like a ps tutorial but below the cut (since i included example gifs, it’s VERY long) is my process for my latest jily aesthetic:

i keep track of all my ideas/sets in a spreadsheet (which i won’t show bc there’s a lot of info i’d have to blur/black out) but i always have a list of what scenes i need to gif/what gifs i’m editing and where i’m getting them from. i also include a couple extra ideas in case the gifs i have planned end up being too hard to color or don’t fit in the set. i’ve found it’s best/easiest to start w the list bc there is literally nothing worse than spending hours on a set and then not being able to complete it.

as for actually finding the material, i have a pretty healthy number of scene packs saved in my giffing folder, esp. for things i know i will gif frequently. most of the time i will peruse youtube, vimeo, and instagram for any aesthetic scenes. i also have a lot of gif packs saved specifically for the purpose of making mbs (usually i mix my own gifs w gif packs), if you msg me i’m happy to direct you to some gif packs i use regularly or you can check my #resources tag. a couple tips for finding material: 

always opt for download when possible, i used to screen record and the difference when i switched to downloading was astronomical. (it’s easy to lose quality and esp if you’re on mac, quicktime duplicates frames so either you have to manually delete those extras or you get sort of choppy gifs when you load them into ps.)

always use 1080p or better, 720p will work in a pinch for 268px or 177px gifs since you can make up some of that resolution loss with sharpening, but don’t go any lower than that, just love yourself. 

for pale sets, look for the right colors. i tend to look for scenes w high color contrast especially if it features poc so it’s easier to color without whitewashing, ie if the subject is a person then i look for light colored or blue/green/violet/white backgrounds. it’ll make your life wayyyyy easier. this also means if you’re making a set try to find scenes with already similar lighting bc you won’t have to work so hard to make it look cohesive.

here’s a quick rundown of what i do before coloring:

import all frames and save all the files in a folder together!!

play around with frame delay so all the gifs are moving at about the same speed, usually keep it between 0.03-0.05s

crop and resize gifs (i use 268x145 most of the time)

convert to timeline

when it comes to coloring it can be really hit or miss, i’ve recently gotten back into my groove but i was having sooo much trouble earlier this year. in general, don’t stress yourself out!! sometimes it’s easier to just find a new scene/gif (hence my list of extras!) than to try too hard to fit a gif into your set. i color all my gifs by scratch (ie no psds) but i tend to follow the same pattern, i’ll explain using these gifs/psd as an example since then i can also explain how to fix white-washing:

first off when you’re coloring gifs with poc always always always make a layer mask so you can compare the edited and unedited skin tones directly! i use the marquee tool to make a selection in the middle of the character’s face, select the folder of my adjustment layers, and hit ‘add vector mask’ (the third button from the left on the layers panel, it’s a white rectangle with a circle in it). 

i almost always begin by using hue/saturation layers to highlight and delete certain colors. here i highlighted red and raised the lightness on yellow by a lot since it’s a very yellow scene. then i use a combination of brightness/contrast, levels, and curves layers to brighten the scene. here’s what i have now:

i add a gradient map set to black/white, change the blending to exclusion, and lower the opacity to between 5-10% (depending on the scene) to lighten the contrast further:

then i add back a little depth with selective color in neutrals and blacks:

now i have two main goals: 1. add contrast between the background and the subject, and 2. brighten the scene into a pale gif. to do this, i use color balance to tweak the color of the background, taking out the yellows. this step works best if there’s at least some shade difference between your subject and background, otherwise isolating the two will be impossible. here’s what i have after adding color balance:

i use hue/saturation to selectively highlight the background color. in this case i chose to adjust magenta and used the color picker (the first eyedropper on the left) to identify the exact shade i wanted to lighten. now i have a fairly neutral background and a colorful subject, which gives a sort of pale effect:

and now i use a curves layer and a selective color (white) layer to brighten further:

before i go further, i start fixing white-washing. keep in mind that some variance is normal since you are naturally changing the lighting of the scene; this gif shows it rlly clearly bc of how yellow and dim the lighting is, so some lightening is to be expected. however, both because the vector mask shows a lot of whitening and because i’ve giffed dev patel before and have a general idea of what he looks like in this type of lighting, i know what needs to be fixed, so i go back in under the psd/adjustment layers with a combination of selective color (red and neutral) and hue/saturation layers to darken his skin again:

now that some more contrast has been added in, i can go back to working on the psd and use curves and selective color to play around with the background again:

i use another hue/saturation layer and a black/white gradient to tone down oversaturation:

usually i leave those layers on top, so if i want to make any adjustments (like lightening the background more), i go in under those two. in this case i tweaked the whites and reduced the contrast a little to get this:

again, you can see his skin tone has changed from the original, but variation is to be expected given how much brighter the room is, the fact that i took out a lot of yellow lighting, and the brightening effect of the computer screen in front of him. some other things to keep in mind when coloring:

when you add layers to correct white-washing, you’re likely to end up with overly red/orange skin tones (red-washing). this can be fixed by upping cyans in the reds, desaturating/darkening the reds, or adding b/w or desaturation later on.

when in doubt, it’s better to be darker than lighter (the issue with white-washing is that it promotes colorism, and there is nothing inherently wrong with a darker skin tone) but really. just put in the effort to color poc correctly.

when changing the lighting a lot it helps to look at pictures of the subject in natural/bright lighting, since you get a better idea of what their normal skin tone is. 

don’t try to squeeze all your selective color layers into one. you’ll get less grainy gifs if you separate them out and work one by one. 

TURN OFF NIGHT SHIFT/NIGHT MODE! yes i KNOW it’s bad for your eyes (especially if you’re like me and gif at night, when the lighting outside isn’t changing every 20 seconds) but your gifs will look VERY different under f.lux or night mode compared to daytime screens. especially if you’re giffing at different times of day, blue light filters can really change the way your coloring appears. best to keep it consistent.

my sharpening settings vary depending on what i’m giffing but in general i do two layers of smart sharpen (500% with radius between 0.2-0.4, 10% with radius at 10px) and then gaussian blur at 2.5px and adjust the opacity so it’s somewhere between 15-20%. i try to strike a balance between smoothing out the graininess from selective color, and sharpening details like clothes and hair. here’s what i ended up with for the gif above:

then i rinse and repeat for the rest of the gifs in the set! i tend to start with the gifs that i know will be hardest to color, which is usually the darker ones (coloring is limited by how much i can brighten the scene) and those that include poc (again, limited by how much i can brighten and adjust the scene’s lighting without white-washing). then i check set cohesion as i go, using those first few gifs as benchmarks. once i have all 8 (or 9 or 10) gifs, i play around with composition and try to balance and vary the subject, colors, and composition of gifs next to each other. i go back and make a couple of adjustments here and there according to what i observe and what i think might improve the overall appearance.

and that’s pretty much it! i hope this was helpful, if you have other questions feel free to message me and i’d be happy to help/troubleshoot. happy giffing!

[des-dabbles]

𝕊𝕋𝕆ℝ𝕐 ℙℝ𝕆ℂ𝔼𝕊𝕊 ℂℍ𝔸𝕃𝕃𝔼ℕ𝔾𝔼

by @herpixels

The challenge: show a certain part of your story process based on you being tagged by other creators!!!

I was tagged by the amazing @poetic-falls​. Since they answered all, so will I. I feel like lots did this not too long ago, but I’ll tag: @nova-plays, @junktrait and @rainbow-llamas​.

Long stuff under the cut.

1. Your writing process - show us a part of your script or explain how you write your scenes. Do you write in screenplay format or novel format? Etc, etc.

It depends. When I was working on my Wilder FDC, that was mostly unscripted. It was purely based on gameplay. Same with my current gameplay, the Harding’s. With the Tuhoro’s, I have done a lot more scripted writing. My google docs are filled with the various scenes and such.  

2. Scene building - show us you in the middle of scene building through pictures, gifs, or a video. Explain what is the best thing about scene building and what is the worst!

I have a love/hate relationship with building. I love creating something special for my sims but don’t think I’m that great a builder. It’s a struggle. lol. I delete most off my WIP pics, so don’t really have anything to share. And I don’t think I do anything special when building. Just adding those little touches that make it unique for that sim/scene.  

3. CC/Pose Making - do you make your own cc/poses for your scene? If so, what is your process like to create? Do you just go off the top of your head? Do you use reference photos?

I definitely do not create my own poses. I have so much love for the amazing cc creators out there. @nova-plays has made a few poses specifically for me and some of my scenes (ILY).  I will occasionally do recolors of photos/frames to add that special touch to a sim’s house.

4. Getting in the zone - What do you do to get in the zone to work on a scene? Examples include: show us your playlist you use when working on a scene, what’s your go-to scene snack/drink, etc.

Depends on my mood. Spotify helps a lot and I have a playlist I made for Tuki/Adi story. I’ve also been listen/watching a lot of streams recently. I just usually need some sort of background noise. 

5. Screenshot folder - give us a look into your screenshot folder to show us just how much goes into ONE scene for your story. (Scrapped pictures encouraged!!!)

It’s a messy organized mess. I do take lots of pictures I end up not using, but it’s more just me taking the same picture from many angles. 

6. Captions - are you a caption on the picture kind of storyteller or captions in text box type of storyteller? Why? Do you do both?

Dane’s BC was the first time I did captions. While I do like them, I also hate them. lol. I’m a writer that tends to struggle with conversation so it’s sometimes easier to write what the person is thinking/feeling vs trying to convey that in actual speech.

7. Editing!!!!! - explain and show us your process editing a scene through a video, gif, or picture. A Before and after will suffice if you aren’t in the middle of editing a scene as you answer this.

So... my editing depends on my mood. The last time I majorly edited anything would have been Dane’s BC. The before picture has my reshade on it, but from there, it’s running a few different ps actions over the image, some blurring and adding light leaks. I’ve been embracing more warmth recently in my photos. 

8. Throwback - show us an ANCIENT story scene you done in the past and explain how you would do the scene differently today!

I don’t... Besides Tuki’s story, I’m not at the point of wanting to redo my scenes. Truthfully, I have a love/hate relationship with sims stories. It’s a more personal thing of being able to display what I want to show using the things in game and never quite getting it right. I’m definitely too tough on myself and if I stress too much over things I’ve done, I’d never post again,

That said... quite a few of my scenes go through a test scene first. Usually it’s there for me to get a better feel for the scene. Tuki at Penny’s grave was one of them. I thought I had a saved version of the scene where I tried a different rain effect, but I can’t find it. (The pics for that scene show an unedited one vs the final one in the story post.) Also, I like to test outfits and sceneries. See what works. When I was doing the 15 day couple challenge with Dane and Ray, I originally thought they’d marry in Sulani. I wasn’t happy with the shots I was getting. I tried Windenburg instead and their entire proposal/wedding story hit my like a ton of bricks. (Pics below are the unedited ones) 

[glassandmetalwings]

Wings Talks Manga: A Year in Review, Part 1 (Completed stories)

Last year, I told myself I was going to actually really more manga and watch more anime, because despite it being my main style I hadn’t actually read much in awhile. And I actually managed to get a lot done for one year. So below is a list of stories I read/watched and a few quick thoughts on them. Despite having my list open, I’m still probably not going to get to all of them, but I can try.

Be warned for spoilers.

T.egami Bachi (manga)

I love. Anyone following this tag of mine knows this has been a long journey and that I loved every minute of it. The world is beautiful, the characters are great, the emotions run high...it’s incredibly cathartic and engaging. I will never stop lauding it.

Jiu Jiu (manga)

A short series I picked up from the library that I never really covered, but that I enjoyed. Sometimes it felt a little slow to work through, but it was cute and I got really attached to the characters over five volumes. Like the mangaka, I wish there had been more opportunity to delve deeper into some of the story elements, because especially near the end it got confusing. Also I’m assuming it ended in a poly relationship? The protag grows up and has babies but you can’t really tell which love interest is the father, if either are. They’re all together in the final picture and I support it but it also bugs me bc I am confused.

Dreamin’ Sun (manga)

Mixed feelings on this one. I honestly expected a modern fantasy involving a baku going into this based on the back cover. I was wrong. I was really cute, if not overwhelmingly emotionally frustrating/full of secondhand embarassment at some points. The characters are super well-developed and continue to evolve and grow through the series. I will forever complain about the protag falling in love and centering her life around an adult man, but there were also some very touching elements that I can’t help but remember fondly.

The Wize Wize Beasts of the the Wizarding Wizdoms (manga)

The first of a lot of BL I read this year, which is honestly very new to me. My introduction to Nagabe. I’ve mentioned there’s one story I’m not too fond of, but it could be my interpretation of it. Overall very much loved it and especially love the art style.

K.amisama Kiss (manga)

I series I kind of picked up on a whim and absolutely fell in love with. Cute, funny, touching, well-thought out. There were some elements I didn’t understand (like the end), but my enjoyment overall made up for it. The one thing I wish for was a little more development for some of the minor characters. Also I love Mizuki and his development throughout the series. He makes me emotional.

Our Dining Table (manga)

Another cute, simple love story about two guys making food. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this other than it’s cute and you should read it. Although I obviously have no issues with teenage protags, it was refreshing to have a love story about two working adults that didn’t have to involve sex. Also can totally understand one guy’s aversion to eating with others, even if my own isn’t as severe.

Love on the Other Side (manga)

More Nagabe. Really, really cute. I love the story with the bird (of course). The softness of the stories and Nagabe’s art style really have stolen my heart.

B.lack Butler: Book of Circus (anime)

We all know why I watched this. Sadly the ending is as gruesome as the manga, and the one or two scenes they added didn’t play well on the DVD. But still a delight (up until the end).

The Devil is a Part-Timer (anime)

Interesting. Funny. A good world base, but I feel they could have developed it a little more, and the last episode kind of soured it a little for me because there was no really wrap-up. But I liked the characters and had a lot of fun watching it while crocheting. Wish there was a season two.

The Bride was a Boy (manga)

A brief autobiographical manga about a trans woman, filled with lots of tidbits about transgender individuals and things like HRT. Short, sweet, cute, and full of love and joy. Again, not much to say other than I recommend it.

Fractale (anime)

A lot to process. I think I would need to watch it again to fully wrap my head around it, if not more than once. An interesting world, great character, engaging story, and beautiful animation. Plus just...kinda relevant in a way that’s hard to describe. Think ease of technology verses governmental control via tech. I really loved the episode about the mysterious photographer. Plus I just fell in love with the ending song.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (anime)

Yes, I’d never watched this before. Gonna say, not my favorite Miazaki, but as usual an excellent story with a lot of background and development. And of course I loved the creature design. Glad to finally have it watched, after all these years, but I also can’t help but wonder what the original English release was like, knowing they cut/edited a lot. Because a lot of that violence and death was...kinda necessary to understanding character motives.

H.aibane Renmei (anime)

Again, another series that’s been at the top of my list for forever. I didn’t even have an excuse not to watch is as I own the DVDs. Excellent, and touching, if not cutting a little too close to home at times (like self-harm/BFRB). Really my introduction to ABe, and I have to say I never saw the ending coming. But would definitely watch again and again. Kinda wish I could do a cosplay for this series (I’d probably be Nemu, or one of the masked characters), but I feel like you need a group for it.

G.osick (anime)

I didn’t complete this one, I’m sorry. I think the art is great, and the arcs in concept are amazing...but it falls through in the delivery. The characters don’t really feel like they have driving motives behind their actions, and sometimes the evidence and stuff are things you can’t discern from watching (’I can tell you aren’t the daughter of a coal baron because you walk short distances before turning sharply and walking the other way, like you’re pacing in a small psych ward cell’-yes, that’s a real example). Lots of potential, but not great. Sorry.

Wolf Children (anime)

Very cute. Beautiful anime. I don’t think I can say much about this that hasn’t already been said. My favorite part is the ending where she’s saying goodbye just because of how both painfully and empoweringly emotional it is.

5 Centimeters Per Second (anime)

Not bad, but probably not my favorite. It didn’t help that the version I was watching didn’t translate all of the writing, so I feel like I missed a lot of elements. While the story is definitely a sentiment I can get behind, it was also a little bit unsatisfying for me, especially at the end. But idk, maybe I just don’t like the idea of moving on when there’s the opportunity to not.

Colorful (anime)

It was...a film. About a suicide. Looking back I don’t particularly feel strongly either way about it. I think the ending was good, and giving the protag some sort of motivation, but it took forever to really get to a point where I cared about him (or he seemed to really care about the body he was inhabiting and the person he was trying to be). Some of the stuff was just...uncomfortable. It’s probably worth watching, but overall I wasn’t wowed by it.

Ibistu (manga)

My first shrink-wrapped manga. It ties together very well in the end, and the horror and violence elements did elicit some very visceral reactions in me (particularly the threat of the iron and, later, the staples). The short stories were also good, particularly the doll factory one, but I wasn’t the most fond of the one about the mangaka. Just know there’s a reason it’s shrink-wrapped and it’s not a ‘positive’ one.

A Silent Voice (anime)

Probably one of my favorite films. While I didn’t always understand the motivations behind some of the characters or their actions, it wasn’t in a way that made me uncomfortable like some of the things in Colorful did. It felt more natural for them to be irrational. Again, there is suicide, so be warned if you don’t want to deal with that. But the story is sweet and the characters are amazing. But I also have a weakness for things involving sign language and communication.

Children Who Chase Lost Voices (anime)

Very cool. Beautiful landscapes. Gave me very strong Princess Mononoke vibes at some points, but it also stood as its own story with interesting characters there are elements I wish we could have delved deeper into, though. Also...what war did the teacher fight in? It didn’t look very modern. Also also I will forever wince at the pronunciation of ‘Quetzalcoatl’. Death is a strong theme in it, so be prepared if you watch it.

The Boy and the Beast (anime)

Excellent character design. Excellent story. Excellent animation. My one complaint would be that the climax felt kind of thrown together, even though it tied back to the beginning in a good way. But overall a beautiful world with some great humor and intense elements.

The Garden of Words (anime)

Spoiler: again a story about a kid falling in love with an adult. From a platonic standpoint, the story still feels a little weird, particularly in terms of the woman’s motivations, but looking back her not getting too involved in him missing school...kinda feels like what I would do to, especially in her situation. It’s sweet, though. Maybe it’s just me and my preferences, but some elements feel a bit incomplete, and I wish had been explored/wrapped up.

Summer Wars (anime)

Probably a favorite on the films list. Again, beautiful animation. I’m not going to get over this style. But I especially liked the design of OZ and the excess of blank space in it. Characters were many but great (although I didn’t get the one baseball player was part of the family until almost the end, but that says more about me and paying attention). Even Mom got really engaged in it when I had her watch it with me (I also had her watch Wolf Children, which I thought she would like more, but apparently not). There is a character death, but if you don’t mind that it’s definitely a watch.

Beauty and the Beast Girl (manga)

A cute little story about a blind girl and a dragon girl falling in love-what more could you want? Their histories actually tie together in a really neat way. Honestly my one complaint would be that the ending feels a little too ideal and easily wrapped-up. But sometimes we need things to be that perfect, you know?

P.andora Heart (manga)

The other big story I tackled this year. There were points that were a bit slow/disengaging to me, but overall once I got hooked I really loved it. I think I need a second read to really fully understand it (if that’s possible), but equal parts cute, intense, and bittersweet. Elliot’s whole development was probably my favorite bit.

The God and the Flightless Messenger (manga)

My last story of 2020, and a very cute one at that. Another short story, with beautiful art. I don’t...really know what to say about it. It’s cute, and the love story feels both very natural and almost...secondary? Idk how to describe that. The relationship between the two of them is obviously key, but it’s the type of story where ‘I love you’ isn’t needed. It’s already there.

So yeah, there’s the list. It’s a long list. I probably still missed some. I might try to make a second list with ‘in progress’  series but I’ll be playing that by ear. I’d love to hear some of you all’s thoughts on these stories (if you’ve read/watched them), or which you now want to read/watch!

[hotelsweet]

HI and thank you so so so much if you got involved in this!!!! I’m so excited to be celebrating 1.5k w you guys and can’t wait to dish out some of these lil prizes <3

u guys I’ve had so much fun doing this and I’ve legit sat here for HOURS going through everyone’s blogs and tags and I’m just so,,,, in love,,, this fandom is amazing and u guys are so gorgeous and amazing! I’ve been whining at @peraltiagoisland​ all day about how much I want to include everyone and shower u all in compliments and just!!! I’m so blown away tbh  A QUICK REMINDER OF THE PRIZES WINNERS:  - a big personalised playlist from me to u (u kno how I love my tunes) - a follow from me if I’m not followin u (duh) - a mention here!! - a b99 fic from me if u want it!!! any prompt ya like - hugs and love obvs

RUNNERS UP: - a lil personal playlist from me to u - also a follow if I’m not already - also hugs and love - and a lil mention here <3

if you’ve won/are a runner up please message me so we can talk and I’ll get started on your stuff! i’m so excited to talk to a bunch of you and give u music and writing agh <3

OKAY WITHOUT FURTHER ADO (I have added notes in italics bc I am just so excited and amazed by u guys)

BEST SMALLER BLOG (a very important category bc I actually do not understand how these people don’t have thousands of ppl following them??)

WINNER: @the-pontiac-bandit​ OKAY let me tell you about carrie and her blog. I spent a solid 60 mins reading her amazing writing and admiring her theme and then I checked her reblog and she had the #under500 tag and I yelled. not kidding. like an actual noise left my mouth because HOW THIS GIRL DOES NOT HAVE A CULT FOLLOWING I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. FOLLOW HER RUNNERS UP: @theartofdreaming1​ aka Vicky who is the sweetest person and SUCH a talented artist!!! @khwabonkeparindey​ anna’s blog is so adorable and maybe it’s bc I’m type A but the layout of her navigation actually turned me on a little bit oh my LORD it’s beautiful and so well-organised @two-drink-amy​ I was only gonna have two runners up for this category but nicole and everything about her blog is so sweet!!

BEST URL WINNER: @jake-purealta​ not only does tash seem incredibly lovely BUT this url is so perfect and well-fitting!!! I feel like, given her obsession w Tswift, it fits beautifully well with jake’s obsession too??? everything about it clicks I love it RUNNERS UP: @roscoesantangelo​ because I mean!!!!! you’ve scored the perfect url of jorma taccone’s character in parks and rec!!!? like damn good on u my guy  @amysantiagone​ okay I wont lie this one is for personal reasons- although I happen to absolutely love Nate’s blog- bc for some reason the url reminds me of when u get super drunk and describe urself as “gone” (a v popular phrase here in the UK) and as a result I just picture drunk Amy whenever I see ur URL

BEST EDITS WINNER: @juliadorable​ RIGHT OKAY SO JULIA (julia) is one of these people I’ve always wanted to chat to bc she seems amazing but what I absolutely love about her edits & gifs is that she picks/ creates posts for some of the most underappreciated moments in the show!!! I love em and this blog is a blessing thank u sm RUNNERS UP: @jakeperallta​ aka @deepshadows​ !!! look at these edits immediately oh my god they are actually incredible and so creative!!! i’m not worthy!! fam I love ur edits so much thank u for providing me w this goodness <3 follow alexa immediately on both blogs seriously @brown-aces​ I won’t lie I’m not sure if these count as edits but I legit couldn’t not include you because of THE INCORRECT QUOTES TAG. this is legit one of my fave things and ur posts never fail to make me chuckle

BEST GIFS WINNER: @fourdrinkamy​ okay so not only is Emma gorgeous, talented, super clever and just all-around marvellous BUT her gifs are like... so good they’re satisfying? like I spent a good half hour just scrolling and admiring ‘em RUNNERS UP: @amesantiagos​ okay this girl has such an eye for colour and aesthetic I’m not kidding everything just looks so Good!! like I adore her stuff to the point where I followed her on insta too (hi Amy I’m darcey_wm if ur wondering where I am) bc it just looks so damn good @sergeant-santiago​ I’m just.... like.... shooketh..... I’ll get back to this later

BEST FICS (oh my god what a category I legit could NOT pick someone lol this was painful bc u guys write the best shit)  WINNER: @elsaclack​ this feels a little obvious/predictable of me bc I’ve rambled about em’s stuff before but Dear Fucking God can this woman write. her fics and the way they had me laughing/crying/glued to my phone are the reason I  RUNNERS UP: @peraltiagoisland​ MICHELLE aka the love of my life KNOWS HOW TO KILL ME NO MATTER THE TIME NOR PLACE dear god I recommend so hard,,,, jump in and give the drama club au a spin trust me u won’t regret it  @jakelovesamy​ oh my god okay so let me tell u. let me TELL U i did not realise that this gorgeous girl was on AO3 but then I clicked over from her blog and it all came flooding back once I recognised her handle!!! I recommend u go and read ‘and all my world is losing light’ bc it’s gorgeous @oceanvirus​ again I didn’t mean to have three runners up but I had to bc I’m just..... a piece of shit lol BUT ANYWAY please please go and read Bella’s stuff I love it so much

BEST ICON WINNER: @brown-aces​ GIRL THIS ICON FITS THE THEME SO WELL AND ALSO IT’S THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE ROSA LOOKIN FIERCE so obvs I’m obsessed  RUNNERS UP: @jakelovesamy​ bc it’s adorable and I adore it @three-drink-amy​ bc it’s my beautiful, smiling boy,,,, grinning at this wonderful blog

BEST DESKTOP THEME WINNER: @smolsamberg​ okay kara’s blog is gorgeous anyway (go follow!!!) but this theme is fuckin funky as shit??? navigating it genuinely felt like operating the sexiest lil website on earth and for that I am grateful RUNNERS UP: @bastillebananas​ this theme is FUCKING ADORABLE not kidding I love it omg I had so much fun w it (also hi fellow fan of bastille!! I’m seein ‘em this summer at a festival exciting) @amesantiagos​ this theme is so cute oh my lord (almost as cute as the wonderful Amy who runs this blog!!! seriously it’s just so wonderful and satisfying and Good Choice my guy I love it (and u)

BEST MOBILE THEME WINNER: @swansongcas​ MATE omg your blog is so satisfying and blue and just like.. sexy to look at so well done my guy!!! also helps that I adore ur blog in general but omg is it aesthetically pleasing RUNNERS UP: @oceanvirus​ bella your mobile theme is almost as sexy as u ;) x (I’m sorry if that was creepy I promise it was well-intended) @two-drink-amy​ okay this is partially bc of the adorable icon but mostly bc of the theme and I just... it’s so bright and sweet and honestly just reminds me of my joyous response to every b99 episode ever WHEW OKAY SO BEFORE WE DO THE BEST OVERALL BLOG,,,, I WANNA JUST THROW A FEW SURPRISE SUPERLATIVES / FUN CATEGORIES 

this is also gonna include some honourable mentions bc I am supported by some brilliant people and also bc not everyone I wanted to put in on here I could??? which is crazy so:

A big round of applause to the X-drink Amy crew who I see all the time and firmly believe should all be led by the adorable @full-santiago​ ?? like a little clan of Amy-themed URLs: @two-drink-amy​ / @three-drink-amy​ / @fourdrink-amy​ / @fourdrinkamy​ / @fivedrinksantiago​ / @six-drink-amy​ (I’m sure there’s more of you out there but these came to mind and I want u all to form a band or something)

A big fat shout out to emily aka @jakefreakingperalta​ who!!! made these valentines cards that I used this year for my friends but never knew the source of!!! another example of the funny and amazing ppl I follow here

an honourable mention for the amazing @tiadorable​ whose comments on my first works on AO3 (and my more recent stuff, too!) made me smile and motivated me so much <3 now for some superlatives!! follow these people rn!!! and if ur here please feel free to come ask me to write or make anything for u ever I love u 

most likely to lure me onto the sin train and never look back: my girl erica aka @startofamoment.... can u believe.... the creativity and the happiness/giggles this lady brings me 

most likely to literally ruin my fucking life thru writing: obviously em?? aka @elsaclack. I appreciate this is a fairly harsh title but dear god the things u could make me feel?????? also a brilliant woman i love u

most likely to always have complete faith in me, chat to me constantly, make me smile, & constantly be a complete angel w a heart of gold and amazing writing: @peraltiagoisland. need I say any more????

OKAY so the big 1:

BEST OVERALL BLOG RUNNERS UP: everyone who reblogged my first post. not a cop out. not kidding. u guys are amazing WINNER: @sergeant-santiago​  okay okay okay let me tell u about this blog. everything from content to quality stuck out to me when I was looking through everything for the blog awards and I was just completely blown away and in awe??? this girl is perfection and if you’re not following her blog then I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY get ur late ass over there bc u are missing the fuck out. I can’t stress this enough!!!!  alright!!! I think we’re about there!! thank you so much (again) for 1.5k. u guys are wonderful

[earthobservingsystem]

Sherlock Four

It’s a strange day at the office when one moment Paul Weller is sitting next to you, dressed as a Viking and the next you’re playing the violin in a mental asylum opposite Benedict Cumberbatch. Strange, but brilliant.

I had bumped into Mark Gatiss months earlier whilst walking the dogs, and he had gleefully forewarned me that season four, episode three would involve a LOT of violining. He wasn’t wrong. I mean he wouldn’t be - he should know.

A few weeks passed and a voice message came up on my phone. BC. Benedict. He had left a lovely message, asking after my wellbeing, my family and whether I’d be able to coach him in Ealing today. On the set of Doctor Strange. I like to think I played it cool, and I’m going to keep telling myself that. I was out with the dogs at the time. I should point out that I had been home in between these events, I don’t just wander the local parks, hoping for some work on Sherlock, (although that tactic has proved quite fruitful of late). Time was of the essence so I skipped home, swapped the dogs for my violin and headed to Ealing, in my muddy paw mark adorned jeans. Yeah. Super cool and not at all like a swamp creature.

Benedict needed to learn three pieces, one of which wasn’t yet written. He swished off set and called me into his dressing room to recap on all things violin. “Don’t touch the beard!” pleaded his makeup artist, “he’s back on set any minute”. His hands were covered in scars, which he insisted they sprayed with fixative away from me, what a gent. We just got started and he was called back on set. He offered me his dressing room while he was on set and to make myself at home. Tilda Swinton appeared In the doorway asking if I knew where Benedict was. This is always happening to me at home. Over the next few hours of grabbed moments, as well as in Cardiff on the set of Sherlock, and once at his house, we managed to work out 1) what he needed to play 2) that there was one hell of a lot to play and memorise whilst also delivering lines in some intensely emotionally charged scenes and 3)that he is a perfectionist and holds himself to the highest standards at all times.

But we knew #3 already.

Meanwhile David Arnold had met up with Ben Caron, the director to discuss the best way to approach the filming of this sequence. It would take some doing but it could be done.

I was coaching Benedict in his Sherlock trailer, with Ben Caron and David Arnold. We tried out timings to see how to fit the music with the dialogue to make sure we hit the right point in the music at the right time for the script.

For the first time on Sherlock there were to be two people playing the violin. Sherlock, and his sister, Eurus.

I was called by the lovely Siân Brooke, for some coaching at RADA. Benedict and Siân were both equally trepidatious of the huge task ahead of them, and concerned to find out how the other one was faring. Siân had played the cello on a film before, so had some experience of playing a stringed instrument.

Despite Benedict and Siân being exceptionally fast learners, coaching was hard at first because the final big duet hadn’t yet been written- this scene was scheduled to be filmed near the beginning of the whole shoot, so David Arnold and Michael Price, the composers on Sherlock had only just discovered they needed to write this epic duet at the same time as I was meant to be coaching. But there was a lot to be done anyway- recapping on stance and how to hold the bow, what angle to hold the arms and wrists etc. As with previous screen coaching, I’d say it’s 70% choreography, 30% actual playing and 10% bad maths.

Once the duet was written I picked some small ‘key’ passages of the music for them to learn. Learning the whole duet as well as the other two themes, ‘Irene’s theme’ and ‘Eurus’s Theme’ would be a huge ask, what with having to learn the violin from scratch and everything. I recorded video clips for both Siân and Benedict to help them practice in between lessons. Because they had LOADS of time to do that. (None).

The final scene of the series was to be a 360 shot of the two duetting together, tentatively at first, in a question and answer conversation of sorts, then beginning to build. It’s a beautiful piece of music, perfectly conveying all the shifting emotions of the series, gathering strength until the full orchestra joins for the rousing Sherlock Theme

Filming

The atmosphere around the sets was very warm and familial, people bringing in kids and swapping baby photos, handing around biscuits, that sort of thing.

But when I was taken onto the actual set for the first time, Eurus’s cell- I felt a cold shudder. That Arwel Wyn Jones certainly knows how to design a set. All cold, grey surfaces, no windows or door handles and 360 degree security cameras really created a chilling atmosphere. I was fitted with a radio in-ear monitor so that I could hear the cues from Ben, the director.

The first thing to to be filmed was Sherlock’s reaction to Eurus’s playing. Benedict asked that I play the theme there live in order to help him cry. Sweet revenge for last time when he made me cry: previously on A Scandal in Belgravia, his tearing up when playing Irene’s theme had made me tear up - which was good because the alternative would be bricking myself. I could get quite nervous in these situations - there are a LOT of people involved on set, and they all fall silent before the director calls “set, and… action” - but he is an utterly captivating actor, he draws you in so that everything else drops away. You forget yourself and all that’s left is the moment. Ben Caron helped create this warm atmosphere on set, by being incredibly calm and friendly whilst being clear about what he wanted. I was grateful given the pressure everyone was under that he wasn’t one for barking orders or steamrollering anyone. When I didn’t know what a particular visual cue was (I didn’t have a script- but there’s a scene in Eurus’s cell when Sherlock enters for the first time. She is playing a tune- Sherlock steps forward, the lights change, Eurus plays angrily, he steps back and she resumes playing the tune) Ben patiently and calmly explained those cues and we carried on- it felt like no biggy despite the massive time constraints he was under. It makes for a good working atmosphere and I’m sure it means that things get done more quickly and to a higher standard because people aren’t loaded with any unnecessary extra stress.

We all rushed off with an early end that day because Wales was playing Belgium in the quarter finals. We won 3-1 and there was rainbow over Cardiff (my second favourite type of bow.)

On the second day we were shooting close-ups for the big duet. Depending on the shot, Either Sherlock or Eurus would play the theme alone, following my movements. The final day of violining was the final duet scene again in 360, but this time they were filming full-length shots. The biggy. After all the planning and rehearsals and coaching and memorising and camera rehearsals this was it. I’d play in the eyeline of Sherlock and Eurus, because I had the track in my in-ear monitor, so they could keep in time with that. As the camera spun through its 360 movement I sometimes had to move to avoid being in shot. To their huge credit- and despite the considerable stress of the task, let alone of the scenes and plot line and all the acting- they were so patient and diligent and just totally on it. Of the violin scenes- this was the one everyone was most worried about. Once it was in the can, cheers and whoops were let out (but in a Welsh way, ŴP! ) Benedict and Siân had done an amazing job. The cast and crew then erupted into a big chorus of Happy Birthday for Ben Caron’s 40th. The relief. And the cake. He said that successfully completing that scene was the best birthday present he could have hoped for.

Recording the music

Once all the filming and editing is completed- the music is recorded. We knew we’d need someone other than me to record Eurus’s violin parts to the picture, as she had a Stradivarius and had taught Sherlock how to play, so their sounds would naturally be quite different from one another. I knew that my long time band-mate, Tania Davis would be perfect, so David Arnold asked her and she gladly accepted. Tania and I have been playing together for 17 years *cough* ( www.bondquartet.com ) and we have a natural rapport. She is a stunning player and has a beautiful violin too. Set up with two music stands and a screen in our own little space ship in Air Studios, we were set to record to the picture. We do this for a clean recording with no distracting, or unwanted background noises and because during the edit things can change synch and be slightly out of time with the picture. For example they might choose a shot because the actor’s performance is the perfect one- but the violin isn’t quite in time. Indeed, a childhood folk song was added after filming had ended, which we had to match to existing shots of a different theme being played. All fun and games!

We ended the afternoon on the first take of the duet, when Tania’s E string broke on the final chord - which spookily was the initial promo picture for this episode. It was obviously meant to be!

[nonbinary-support]

hey I'm not sure how to tell my family that I want top surgery, I'm nb and out but I just don't know how to bring it up

EDIT: it was brought to my attention that i assumed anon mean top surgery to create a flat chest rather than augmentation and i absolutely did and that was really shitty, i’m sorry. i’ve added examples for augmentation, but please keep in mind i do not experience transmisogyny and this isn’t a procedure i would be having or dealing with how to explain it to others. if anyone on this side of things would like to add on, PLEASE do!!

hey! yeah this is a super weird + tough topic to bring up and discuss.

do you have one family member you’re closer to than others? or that would be easier to discuss these kinds of things with? that’s always where i start.

even if you dont, i find it helpful to start wil one person, form that base, and then its not totally as scary when you tell the rest all together bc you know theyre there, they know, and maybe can even help you out and back you up.

as for actually going about it. there is gonna be a point where you just need to spit it out and its scary and awkward as hell. but you can start by easing into it saying things like. hey you know how some ppl transition all different types of ways. or, you know how i have dysphoria? 

if they dont know you have dysphoria (this is assuming you do. if you dont, ignore this :P) it might be easier to start with that. you can talk about you hey you know sometimes i feel weird with my body, like it should be different and it really gets me down and makes it hard to function. etc/whatever ur experience is

honestly talking about your feelings helps so much bc it helps them realize this is not some rash phase thing but that there are feelings behind this that warrant it. talk abt dyphoria/a disconnect with ur body/how it feels to not have a flat chest/to not have breasts/the desire/etc

for making your chest flat, you can say that some people get top surgery which is like a (ok just a warning im going to use the medical term for top surgery which is applied towards cis women) mastectomy, except its to make your chest look naturally flat. you have been thinking about this for a while and you know it is what would really help you and is something you need. 

for augmentation, that same last part, but it is also a more commonly done and known about procedure, so you will have less explaining/teaching to do of what the procedure actually entails. you can talk about dysphoria and/or the desire/need to have breasts and how that manifest for you like i talked about earlier, but you can also go at it from a non-purely physical standpoint.

you can talk about how maybe you already use breast forms, so you know this is something you want and you much prefer how you look in clothes with breasts to without (if applicable, you can add in the dysphoria again from being in clothing with a flat chest) you can also talk about how, if you’re wearing “women’s” clothing, most, like all, is made to accommodate breasts and not having them makes it very hard to find flattering clothing. this would allow you a wider range of clothing to choose from, allowing you again to possibly alleviate dysphoria from being able to wear the type of clothes you want to in the first place!

for a flat chest, the same goes in terms of binding. if you already bind, that offers “evidence” to them that you know what you look like with a flat chest and this is something you really want. you can talk about the dangers of binding that are inevitable, even when doing so properly. you can talk about what you already might experience, back/rib pain, trouble breathing, etc. too, you can also talk about binding under clothes and how it often does not give you as flat a chest as you would naturally have and the dysphoria possibly left over from that, as well as having to choose clothing based on how well it hides your chest/binder (material, thickness/weave, cut/looser, etc)

for flat chests, offering to show pictures can help bc often the picture they create in their mind is only from what theyve seen of mastectomies for cancer patients and they picture some weird scary mutilated image of their child/sibling/whatever (this is not at all to say that is what the chests of cancer survivors look like. this is to say they often only have that image so they use that as a base (inaccurate) and then turn that into what they perceive to be that gross Your Mutilating Ur Body cis trope)

but also, if they are not ready to see pictures, do. not. show. them. if they are not comfortable with u being trans already, this will make things worse. it can set you back a lot and that sucks but sometimes you just need to do whats gonna be best for you.

something that apparently really helped my mom was mentioning that worst case scenario, i could always get implants. of course, for me, this was and is never something that would be right for me or even be a consideration, but i needed her on my side and a parents thought is always What If You Change Your Mind. easing their worries helps your case even if it goes against you.

this goes for breast augmentation too, where you can say the same thing that you could always get them removed. you have the added benefit in terms of scars of being able to say that they tend to not be very noticeable or look different from a cis person’s augmentation. here, again, you can also show pictures. too, if theyre not ready to think of you as someone with breasts, don’t show them, because they will likely let that get in the way of letting you (if you need their permission) have surgery, and it will just affect their judgment anyway.

if they are okay with it though, you may even choose to show them cis and trans after pictures to show that it is not that different in case they are worried if you were ever stealth and someone “finding out” from your scars... idk. but pictures in general may very well be able to work in your favor because they can see how unobtrusive and natural the end result and scars typically are.

also, i would mention the size and show after pictures of ppl w/ that size and a similar body type to yours, and let them know, if applicable, that you are not going “ginormous” like many cis people first seem to think, idk why. that you just want natural breasts. and if you dont, thats absolutely your choice, but it may not be the best idea to tell them how precisely large you plan on going, though maybe a rough idea isnt such a bad idea so theyre not shocked and have time to picture you this way and become more comfortable with the idea of surgery, but yeah if you want large breasts, as in larger than typical or expected for your body type, they may see that as less "okay” and use that as an excuse to invalidate you/your needs.

i hope this was somewhat helpful. if you need anything more, feel free to msg us again :)

-emma

[hermanwatts]

Sensor Sweep: Pulp on Pulp, Sabatini, Jirel, Weird Westerns

New Project (Misha Burnett): A reminder that the collection of essays that Cheah Kit Sun and I are putting together is open for submissions. I don’t know that Pulp On Pulp will be its title when it comes time to publish it–I just needed to call it something. I am looking for essays from writers, editors, reviewers, and readers of fiction on the subject of what makes fiction fun. The emphasis should be on practical considerations–do this, don’t do that.

Writing (Amatopia): I recently put up a huge blog roll of sites I read and authors I want to spread the word about. Problem is, lots of them didn’t have websites or blogs to link to! Sure, there are alternatives. For example, I linked to many Amazon pages, either for the author or a particular book. But an actual web presence can make an author seem more official, and in the indie world, this is very important.

Review (DVS Press): Brian Niemeier’s new book is out now, and it’s a number one best seller. Let’s address one 100 IQ level comeback I see frequently when talking about shutting your wallet to the mega-corporations who not only don’t give a shit about the franchises that you grew up with, but actively hate you and your culture and want it (and you) dead: bUt yOu Use AMaZon/yOuTUbE /fAcEbOok/PAtreON.

Popular Culture (Wasteland & Sky): As you can see from the photos in this post, normal people were all over the arcades at its peak in the late ’80s to early ’90s. I know, because I was there. When the most creative and successful games from Double Dragon and Final Fight, to Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, to Time Crisis and Dance Dance Revolution, were around, arcades thrived. By the end of the ’90s, the crowds got smaller as the games were shifting to home consoles. Normal people left, and developers abandoned the subculture.

Fiction (DMR Books): When I wrote my first post about Rafael Sabatini and his swashbuckling fiction, the concept for a series about the “Forefathers of Sword and Sorcery” here on the DMR Blog was still merely a glimmer in my eye. As with Arthur Machen, it’s high time Sabatini received his own entry. In this post, I try not to retread too much ground. For a more complete picture of the man and his work, I recommend that you check out “Rafael Sabatini: King of the Swashbucklers”.

Westerns (Brain Leakage): it’s not hard to see the appeal of stories about rugged loners living by their own rules. Nor is it difficult to see the appeal of books and movies that dwell on the majestic beauty of wide open spaces. Above all, Westerns are stories about personal freedom. After so many weeks being told where we can and can’t go, how close we can and can’t get to people, and what businesses we are and aren’t allowed to patronize anymore, who can blame viewers for looking to John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and Yul Brenner for a little cathartic release?

Weird Western (Marzaat): There are new additions to the Weird Western subgenre all the time in games, fiction, comics, and movies. I’ve been interested in it for decades, starting with old Twilight Zone comic books and the Clint Eastwood movies High Plains Drifter and Pale Rider. The trouble is that, while I haven’t looked at every single example of the subgenre, I have sampled quite a few and most have been disappointing. For me, that disappointment comes in three areas.

Art (Broadway World): The Frank Frazetta The Serpent (aka “Aros”) Paperback Novel Cover Painting Original Art (Paperback Library, 1967) and Bernie Wrightson Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s Frankenstein Front Endpapers Illustration Original Art (late 1970s) sparked furious bidding to lead Heritage Auctions’ Comics & Comics Art Auction to $9,099,710 in total sales April 30-May 3. So strong was the demand that the Dallas-based auction raced past its pre-auction estimate of just over $7.3 million and boasted sell-through rates of 100% by lots and value.

D&D (Jeffro’s Space Gaming Blog): Magic is way more interesting. Tons of off the wall spells get used. Having to find magic the AD&D way creates one of the best incentives to adventure ever made. Success here– finding even two or three new first level spells– can fundamentally change the nature of the game and the balance of power between the first level classes. Exciting! With three big books of monsters instead of a “pure” edited down list of archetypes, the players run into something they’ve never seen before almost every session.

Art (Mens Pulp Mags): David is, among other things, an aficionado of men’s adventure magazines (MAMs). So, he knows that Eva is the most widely-recognized female artist’s model in the MAM genre, in addition to being a popular pinup photo model featured in various types of men’s magazines from the mid-1950s to the 1970s. He also knows that Steve Holland is the most famous male model in the realms of both MAMs and paperback covers. Holland is particularly well known for being the model artist James Bama used for Doc Savage, in the cover art Bama did for the Bantam paperback series.

Sword-and-Sorcery (Legends of Men): What makes this story bad is first and foremost the prose. Phrases are repeated in ways that only seem like that of an amateur author. In the opening scene, Jirel storms a castle and impatiently calls for Giraud’s head. Twice more we are told how impatient she is. This sort of repetition is rampant. More importantly, C.L. Moore does not follow the best practice of “show, don’t tell.” Rather than showing us that Jirel is brave Moore just writes “she was not afraid.” This frequent and another example of how the author comes off as an amateur.

Video Games (That Matt Kid): Conan has had quite the bumpy ride in his transition to the video game world. Let’s revisit some of the earliest titles in the barbarian’s gaming adventures.

Pulp Magazines (Don Herron): ere’s a shot of Kong emerging from an alley next to a news agent shop. More mags. The big model allowed panoramic shots and flyovers, but the level of detail extended to street scenes as well. Those shots are rich in every way. Relevant to our interests, there are numerous shots of newsstands, featuring a variety of magazines, including pulps.

Streaming T.V. (Running Iron Report): The world was living for real in the shadow of the fictional prophecy that forms the bedrock of Showtime’s new horror tale, Penny Dreadful: City of Angels: City of Angels is built around the seething racial tensions that simmered just below the golden surface of Los Angeles through most of its history. The planned Arroyo Seco Motorway (eventually the 110 Freeway running from Pasadena to downtown Los Angeles) will displace a Mexican-American neighborhood, just as the construction of Dodger Stadium would clean out Chavez Ravine two decades later. Nazis are infiltrating the film studios and the aircraft manufacturing plants.

Review (Paperback Warrior): After the pulp magazines disappeared, they were largely replaced by a more gritty and realistic magazine genre collectively known as Men’s Adventure Magazines (MAMs). These glossy, color publications featured stories and artwork by the same people servicing the men’s paperback original market in the 1950s and 1960s. Magazines like Adventure and Real Men were filled with colorful illustrations and stories designed to appeal to working class men returning home from the wars of the Mid-20th Century.

Fiction (DMR Books): Gustave Flaubert died on this date in 1880. While most famous for his novel, Madame Bovary, and dubbed “The Father of French Literary Realism”, Gustave nonetheless had a strong influence on the early formation of sword-and-sorcery. Salammbo–published in 1862–is loosely based upon the events following the First Punic War. The Carthaginians had lost their war with Rome and then decided to stiff the mercenaries who had fought for them. Predictably, mayhem and atrocities ensued during what has been dubbed the “Mercenary War”.

Fiction (Dark Worlds Quarterly): Fire Hunter (1951) by Jim Kjelgaard follows Hawk, chief weapon-maker for his tribe, as he makes innovation after innovation and leads his tribe to survive sabertooth tigers, rival tribesmen and grass fires. It was illustrated by Ralph Ray. Kjelgaard, who is best known for his Big Red dog books, serves up a fascinating tale of cavemen and invention that is plausible for the time but filled with action and adventure too. He attempts Burroughsian fantasy but strives for plausibility in a way that Jean Auel will make best-sellers of in thirty years. The film 10,000 BC should have used this story.

Gaming (Pelgrane Press): There’s value in seeing how a hero you know translates into Swords of the Serpentine, especially when that hero changes over time. SotS lets you play fledgling (less experienced) and sovereign (exceptionally experienced) versions of the same character, jumping back and forth in time between adventures in the same way a collection of fantasy short stories might jump between different eras of the same hero’s life.

Sensor Sweep: Pulp on Pulp, Sabatini, Jirel, Weird Westerns published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/