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Petunia: Lily likes to win. When she was 12, a little Girl Guides friend of her bragged she could sell the most biscuits. Petunia: Damned if Lily didn't walk the neighborhood till she got blisters on her feet, and won by 10 boxes. Petunia: Best part is, Lily wasn't even a Girl Guides
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muttsandmustelidae · 1 year ago
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you say apbt because it’s efficient, i say apbt because i can never remember if pit bull is one word or two
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umblrspectrum · 1 year ago
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i love learning cursive just to write text for exactly one character
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fee-phy-fo-fum · 5 months ago
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(...) (You pick up a card at random.) (Got the Drawn Card.)
i pull out my drawing tablet- ....i can't even pretend this one's unintentional bc i pulled out my tarot cards to reference for this. and took pictures. and drafted. and actively searched up the exact line.
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f4ngt4stic · 2 months ago
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Romam cum matre condamus
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catttttyfandom · 2 months ago
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bottomjayceweek Day 4: Lingerie ❤️‍🔥 fic collab with ruinthatboy!!
FIC RIGHT HERE / OTHER LINGERIE ART HERE
You can find the full version on my spicy twit
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crsssie · 1 year ago
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Dreaming of College Roommate!Leon
college roommate!Leon who dorms with you because the two of you happened to have selected to be okay with co-ed dorming and the university wanted to test it out
college roommate!Leon who tries his best to stick to his own, polite nods sent in your direction as you send the same back, nodding back when you give him a little wave when you get home
college roommate!Leon who catches a glance at the upper skin of your thighs when you tiptoe to reach for something, flushing red immediately as he snaps his neck to turn the other way, trying his best to stay respectful of the shared space. He'd hate to ruin it for you
college roommate!Leon who is forced to pick you up at the strike of two because you got hammered at a party — stealing you away from whatever fratboy was about to get his hands on you
college roommate!Leon who would rather die than admit that the warmth of your skin and breath was enough to have him lose his mind and flush red
college roommate!Leon who holds both of your wrists with a hand as you reach to pull him in, certain that you should be sober to do anything with him even if you were muttering about how much you needed him
college roommate!Leon who receives his thanks from you rather... kindly.
"Can't believe you're letting me... do this." Leon whispers, hand spreading over the small of your back as he pushes into you, breath caught in his throat as he sinks into you, heart racing in his ears as you exhale with him.
"Mm... least I can do to thank... you." You mumble, voice coming out muffled from the pillow you've decided to cling to. "As long as you don't tell the RA."
"Oh, of course not." He mutters, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you flutter around him. "You just feel... so... good."
"Good." You mumble, lips parted as you shift slightly to get used to the feeling of him inside of you. You wonder if he knows just how full he's making you feel, the sensation resting at the tip of your throat as you catch your breath. "Go ahead. Go ahead."
Leon starts slow, hand on your back forcing you to arch further, string of curses slipping past your lips as he eventually drunkens himself with the feeling of you around him, hips snapping to meet yours quicker and quicker, desperation reeking off of him as his fingers slide down the skin of your pelvis to brush at your clit. Theat earns him a reaction from you as you tighten around him, gasping as your body shakes from the intensity of the orgasm, Leon following shortly after.
"You think they'll separate rooms for us now?" You grin at him coyly as he forces his eyes away from your back to meet yours.
"God, I hope not." He mumbles. "Even then, they couldn't stop me if I tried."
"Wow, Leon. You're not even going to ask me out? How cruel of you."
He lifts you by the hips, turning you around as you yelp, pressing his forehead to yours as his brows furrow.
"I was getting there."
"They're going to ban co-ed dorming because of us, just watch."
"Then it can be our little secret." He mumbles, lips pressed to yours as you lean back to get comfortable. "Would you like to get breakfast?"
"At the dining hall?" You raise a brow, lip quirked up in amusement.
"Unless you'd like something better?"
You pretend to think, running your hand through his hair, giving it a gentle tug as he tilts his head to blink at you.
"Please?"
"Since you asked so nicely." You hum. "Sweet boy."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm." You pinch his cheek. "Mine?"
"Mine." He mumbles back, sighing as he rests his head in your collar.
His.
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glassrooibos · 2 years ago
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JUNIOR YEAR HERE WE COME
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bookshelfpassageway · 5 months ago
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"You tell them a lie, and then when you don't need it any more you tell them another lie and tell them they're progressing along the road to wisdom. Then instead of laughing they follow you even more, hoping that at the heart of all the lies they'll find the truth. And bit by bit they accept the unacceptable. Amazing." -Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
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saltynsassy31 · 4 months ago
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Full disclaimer, I have to read any of the fics written for Shockwave and the kids yet as I've been busy and off Tumblr for a bit for my own mental health lol
But I recently saw a photo of an abandoned carousel in some underground area filled with puddles and it reminded me of that one deleted scene from Detroit: Become Human where the Jerry's make a broken carousel work again for Alice and they all just watched her happily play on it as the world around them crumbled.
And, with that thought, it also reminded me of Shockwave and the kids and I simply HAD to write a small drabble fic of it. Sorry if it isn't accurate for the characters or the story already made, but I hope it's enjoyed regardless :3
And, I hope, with all the angst going on, this fluffy story will satisfy yall a bit XD
[This is the post I saw that inspired me to write this, if anyone wants a visual of the place: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGog_W_vDiR/?igsh=b3FsYm50enJhM3ln ]
AU belongs to @keferon
Carousel
~☆~
As the days went by, the situation they all found themselves in was slowly starting to get far too real. It was fun, at first, running around abandoned buildings and scavenging for whatever they could find, spending time with their newly acquired aquatic dad friend who kept them safe and well fed.
But then things started to show up and it scared them. Shockwave tried to avoid the areas with the most floating bodies, the children having seen enough of that (and he hoped they hadn't seen any they would recognise), but every now and then something would float up and startle them. Other times they'd run into bigger problems while scavenging and they had far too many close calls for Shockwave's liking.
They tend to keep themselves entertained, for the most part. Shockwave only occasionally indulged. But, usually, he could simply gently float on the surface of the water and let the kids tire themselves out. However, they've become more quiet lately.
It was hard to tell what caused it. Could be a myriad of things, as listed before, maybe it was finally starting to dawn on them how the situation was far from ideal. Maybe it was the conversation they had with that Orca - Jazz, was it? Shockwave couldn't tell, and it bothered him.
He missed their lively chatter (it still happened, but few and far between). A part of him was starting to wonder if the humans who called him out on the fact that this wasn't normal behaviour for human children were right, a small pang of regret reaching the back of his mind.
But he shook those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time. Nothing about their situation was normal anyway, he was already providing more than enough for them to survive this cruel world.
Shockwave was aggressively pulled out of his drifting thoughts by an ear piercing screech that immediately put him on high alert.
“Guys! Guys! Look!” He heard Skids say. Turning to look at him, he followed where the boy was pointing at.
It looked to be some kind of fair or theme part, it was a little hard to tell. Half of it was submerged, but there were some areas in which the water had receded. Shockwave relaxed once he deemed the situation safe, but still gave a small scrutinising glare at Skids for causing unnecessary concern - which went, of course, completely ignored.
“Oh wow, it looks pretty banged up, huh?” Tc noted, crawling closer to the edge of Shockwave's back to get a better look.
“But there might still be some things left over. You know how much they tend to sell in these places? And now we can just snag them!” Warp argued, already getting excited at the thought.
“Do we really need more useless things to carry around?” Trailbreaker argued, the bag he carried strangely heavier on his back.
“There are other things we could do there.” Skids quickly chimed in. “We could check out some of the games they have.”
“Would there be any still working?”
“Carnival games easy to fix, Soundwave up to the task.”
They all turned to look at Soundwave, seemingly to silently fall into an agreement.
Warp turned to face Shockwave, clasping his hands together as he pleaded. “Can we go there? Pretty pleaaaase?” Before he could even answer, the others had joined them.
He wasn't going to say no. This was the exact type of fun distraction they needed, maybe it would help them go back to their usual, energetic selves. So the theatrics were unnecessary. Still, he couldn't help the small amusement it brought him. He pretended to think it over, as if he didn't already have their answer.
“Hmm, I don't know…”
Those simple words were enough to make them all Start to plead harder, making their eyes as big as possible, throwing promises he knew they'd never actually follow through.
That broke the façade he was trying to play up, causing him to laugh. “Alright, alright. We can go.” The kids erupted into celebratory cheers, hugging each other and jumping on Shockwave's back. “But don't stray so far where I can't reach you, okay?”
They all nodded, but he only had trust in some of them to actually obey his orders.
Regardless, he swam over to the abandoned park and waited until they had slid off of him before crawling over onto land. The ground was still pretty wet, so it made it easier for him to slide around and follow them, keeping himself to the more deeper puddles when possible.
He watched as they all went to different directions with their own, small group. Tc and Warp, always tied to the hip, ran over to some of the stands that still had some prizes hanging. Windcharger and Trailbreaker followed Damus as he ran to play some of the games that didn't require power to work. And Skids and Soundwave went…
Where did they go?
Panic immediately followed the realisation. Shockwave stood up straighter and began to spin his head around in search of the two missing kids. The others didn't seem to have noticed their absence, too enthralled in their own activity.
He was about to start calling when he heard a familiar boisterous voice call from not too far. “Guys! Over here! Come see what me and Soundwave just discovered!”
Immediately, all of the attention was on Skids who had a smile so wide Shockwave was worried he'd hurt himself with it. The others looked at each other briefly before making their way over, Damus hesitating a bit before putting down the fishing rod he held and following the rest.
Shockwave did so as well, to the best of his abilities anyway. The further they went, the tighter the space became and less water reached the surface for him to easily slide around. He wanted to voice his complaint of them going too far, like he had explicitly told them not to before coming here (and really, he thought Warp would have disobeyed first before Soundwave. Skids made sense, but him?) But before he could even think of what to say, Skids noticed his struggle and seemed to remember something.
“Oh, right! Almost forgot.” He jogged over to the mer shark and gently grabbed at one of his fingers to guide him elsewhere. “There's an opening that takes you directly to the area we found. You have to swim underneath some rubble, but it should fit you.”
The boy took him to some dilapidated attraction of the park, it was too broken to tell what it used to be, but it did create an opening that allowed Shockwave to fit through perfectly fine. “Just swim straight ahead and it should take you to the area, we'll meet you there.”
Immediately, Shockwave didn't like that idea, and he didn't need to voice his thoughts for the teen to catch on, his glare doing the job just fine. “It'll be fine, don't worry! It's not that far. Less than a minute, probably less than a second for you since you're so big you'll just have to slide in and out. Besides, there's nothing here, the place is completely barren.”
Shockwave was still unconvinced.
Skids took to pleading. “Please! It'll be quick, I promise you. And worth it too! It's the exact thing we've been needing, and Soundwave put a lot of work on it. I know you don't like leaving us alone for even a second, but give it a chance?”
They stared at each other for a moment, Skids making his eyes as wide and innocent as possible and Shockwave hoping the stubborn teen would dispel this idea with his glare alone.
In the end, Skids guppy eyes were far too powerful even for a great shak such as Shockwave. And the kid was right, wasn't this what he wanted for them to begin with?
He let out a heavy sigh of defeat and reluctantly agreed to it. “Fine. I trust you, but if anything shows up–”
“We don't engage with it and call for you, yes, I know. Now go! Soundwave is waiting!” Skids ushered Shockwave to submerge himself into the large opening with the wave of his hands and only joined back with the others once he could no longer see the large mer.
One relief Shockwave had was that the tunnel formed was large enough that he could easily turn around and pop back out if he heard any of the kids in danger, though it also lacked any proper escape for him as it only had one direction for him to go. Straight ahead or backwards. 
But Skids was right in saying the trip was short, he could already hear the muffled voices of his children. Soon enough, he found himself resurfacing, the lively chatter being the first thing his senses picked up on.
When the children heard the splash of water, they all turned to look towards the source of the noise, their excitement almost blindingly radiat in contrast to the dark, murky room they found themselves in.
The place was closed off by fallen buildings that created a sort of cave around them, plenty of fauna already making its home here. It was fairly empty as well, save for the large, round attraction in the middle of the room. It had horses stuck to poles inside it, a dim pink and gold decorating the whole thing, the paintings that littered it had long since faded and it was hard to tell what it once was.
“Okay, you're here, good.” Skids turned to Soundwave, who was standing next to what looked to be a control panel. “Soundwave, would you do us the honours?”
The other teen nodded, bending down to start pulling at some wires in place of pressing the buttons offered. Warp scoffed, crossing his arms and looking skeptically at his friend. “There's no power here, how in the world are you going to get it to work? I swear, if you brought us all the way here for nothing I–”
Before he could finish his sentence, a blast of music and light echoed loudly around the empty space, causing everyone to flinch back and cover their ears. Shockwave nervously looked around, worried that the loud noise might have attracted some unwanted attention. Once the shock faded, Skids ran up to Soundwave and gestured proudly at the now working carousel.
“Ta-da!”
“Wh…how is this possible!?” Warp questioned, looking at Soundwave for answers, to not only be ignored, but shoved around by the other kids who ran towards the attraction. “Seriously?! Is no one else even a little bit concerned on how this is possible?”
Tc placed a hand over his shoulder, bringing his attention to him. “Warp, just enjoy the miracle. When are we going to get another chance like this?”
Warp could only grumble. Tc was right, they wouldn't, not for a long time. That didn't mean he had to accept it though.
Shockwave watched as they all walked over and picked their favourite horse, Tc and Skids fighting over the same blue one before Trailbreaker broke their fight up and offered his to Tc, walking up to help Damus up and sit with him instead. Shockwave observed the way Soundwave continued to pick at the control panel and looked up at the other children, waiting for their confirmation that they were ready before clicking something and closing the panel. As soon as he did that, the carousel began to slowly move, the horses bobbing up and down in gentle motions, causing the kids to excitedly cheer.
Soundwave stepped on the moving platform while it was still picking up speed and sat on a random horse near Windcharger. Although not as vocal as the others, he was clearly enjoying it.
Shockwave couldn't quite get what was so entertaining about the thing. It was slow, even after it picked up some speed, and the music was painful to the ears. But that didn't quite matter, did it? They were happy, and they were having fun.
It clearly was something they knew about before the tsunami, before their civilization fell apart. A simple joy of life that they missed.
And, in a world dimmed by tragedy and destruction, where at every corner something threatens their very existence, isn't that all they could ask for?
So, in a small moment of peace, Shockwave let himself relax. He bent forward and rested his chin over his crossed arms and watched as his children sang along with the screechy music, bouncing on their fake horses and pretending they were in some high chase in their little imaginary world.
In this dreary reality, even the artificial light of a broken past could make it all worth it. 
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humblefryingpan · 7 months ago
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"Jason would make fun of dicks fashion choices" This guy?
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You think he could get out a single sentence before Dick pulls up all the embarrassing shit he's worn?
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sunlight-shunlight · 3 months ago
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i don't have an excuse for this. woe. young solas be upon ye.
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machveil · 9 months ago
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Can't believe you're gonna make me simp for this man while I'm at work-
LET ME KISS HIS SCARS BETTER REPEATEDLY DAILY ON THE BED ON THE DESK ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHERE NO GOD CAN SEE OR JUDGE I WILL WORSHIP THE MAN WITH WAR WOUNDS THE WAY HE OUGHT TO BE -🐸
Kiss it Better
sometimes a kiss makes things feel better— or a few dozen! headcanons for smoochin’ their scars: Simon “Ghost” Riley, John “Soap” MacTavish, König, Sebastian Krueger
Simon “Ghost” Riley:
Simon Riley has been on the receiving end of a lot, he’s used to it - mishaps during training, wounds during deployments, not to mention the occasional bumps and bruises from daily life. what he wasn’t used to receiving was the feeling of your lips on the rough, patchy parts of his skin
”What’chya doin’, love?”, voice warm as he watches you press kisses to his scarred chest. he’d told you about some of them, grazes and nicks, close calls with blades, “Nothing, Si.”. a content hum resonates in his chest, a hand resting on the back of your head as you continue - kissing from scar to scar
he was indifferent towards the scars - a part of his job, but when you littered kisses over them? the warmth that bloomed in his chest was welcomed. lounging in bed with you, the tv idly playing in the background as he combs his fingers through your hair, the domestic moment is pure bliss for Simon
pressing his own kiss to your hairline, he cracks a smile when you chuckle, nipping at his collarbone. “Careful, you’re supposed t’be kissin’ ‘em, lovie.”, he says, tugging your hair a little.
“Could leave a couple new marks for you.”, you mumble, smiling against his skin when he gently scratches your scalp
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John “Soap” MacTavish:
for every kiss you place on his scars he’s doubling them and giving them back. Johnny is a sucker for when you kiss his scars - getting them can be horrifying depending on what happened, but when you’re pecking his arms? peppering kisses over his scarred muscles? he’s thinking about banging his knee into your coffee table ‘accidentally’ so you’ll kiss it better
“Wait, go back— missed a spot, mo ghaol.”, Johnny happily says, hand cupping your chin as he smiles at you, guiding you to press a kiss to his shoulder. the scar is barely visible - probably a nick from training or bumping into something, but he’s more than happy to feel your lips against the small mark, “Ya started this, gotta kiss ‘em all.”, he insists
he’s living for the attention, thumb pressed to your cheek as he gently guides you to each scar - some completely visible, others you have to squint at. and he’s gushing, cooing sweetly at you about how nice your lips feel against his skin, how you should do this more often
and he when you’re done? he’s pressing you down against the couch, a hand holding your wrists above your head as he kisses you silly - he’s laughing, dopey smile on his lips as he sloppily pecks you. “Hold still, mo chridhe! You’re squirmin’ too much—“, he chuckles, accent thick between quick kisses
“John! John— let go! It tickles!”, you complain, his stubble rubbing against your neck as he playfully bites at you
König:
it took a while for König to reveal his marred skin to you - scars, freckles, and moles all hidden beneath his uniform and civvies. despite his confidence and cocky nature as a Colonel, behind closed doors König worries. ever since his childhood people had pointed and mocked him, and back then he wasn’t charging into the field receiving wounds
but he trusts you, and when his sniper hood is awkwardly tugged off by large, calloused hands? his icy blue gaze meets yours, his face on display - a small scar over against his eyebrow, a cut across the corner of his lips, a scattering of roughed up skin against his cheek. he doesn’t explain what happened, how he got his scars and wounds, but you don’t pry. instead, when your first instinct is to press a kiss to his long since healed cheek?
he freezes, breath hitching - König was expecting you to be appalled, to leave his apartment with knit eyebrows and disappointment in your eyes. he wasn’t expecting such gentle, careful adoration. and when you move to kiss his crooked nose, the bridge slanted slightly, he feels his chest tighten with relief, heart hammering. “Oh, liebling—“, shaky hands moving to hover above your hips, he swallows, “You don’t have to.”, he murmurs
his stomach flips when you kiss the corner of his lips, right where the nick against them is. he lets his eyes flutter shut when you tell him you want to, the he’s handsome and ever so charming - words he never thought he’d hear
“So pretty—“, you mumble, moving to peck the small scar the splits his eyebrow, “You look perfect, König.”
Sebastian Krueger:
prideful bastard, he’s showing off each and every scar - telling you exactly what happened. it doesn’t matter that his body has a reminder that he was nicked by a blade, “Ja, the man that did this won’t lay a hand me again, meine Herz.”, it’s almost like he’s bragging about them
Krueger cracks jokes about some of his more serious wounds, waving off anything he considers boring. the small scrape on his hip? ignore that he accidentally hip checked the corner of a table, look at this one! it’s the size of your thumb, you want to know where he got it? no? oh, you don’t want to listen to his stories, kleiner Vogel? you’re hurting his feelings, you should kiss his scars to make it up to him
he just wanted to share some stories with you, isn’t it mean that you’re denying him? he’s holding your face, palm to your chin and his thumb slightly digging into your cheek, “Du willst mir nicht zuhören, kleiner Vogel? Fine, how about you give me some attention then, Klingt das gut?”. he grins when you press a kiss to the scar on his chest, humming at the feeling of your lips against his skin, “Schau dich an, isn’t this nice?”
in fact, Krueger likes it so much that he’ll seek you out just to feel you kiss his old wounds - settles you in his lap, crowds you against the kitchen counter. his eyes light up whenever you initiate, chest twisting with excitement as you peck his collarbone, where a nasty little wound had been years ago
softly smiling as you press kisses to the healed, rough bit of skin, you glance up at Krueger, “Tell me about this one?”
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I love these silly little guys - I hope you enjoyed these fluffy, domestic interactions with these soldiers🎀✨
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martinsorbit · 1 year ago
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Finders Keepers warm up sketches b4 I start designing some character stuff
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I missed themm
The DCAs arms/hands keep breaking because of how much they move and do silly acrobatics, pairing that with some leftover water+fire damage, it is one of the things that Y/N has to repair often;
New compatible parts are hard to find + expensive (considering how old the DCAs model is), so Y/N normally has to go to old faztech electronic trash dumps to find something that might work, which is usually pieces of other similar-looking Attendants from some old FAZCO animatronic line. You really hope sun and moon don't know about this, or else things will get awkward
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tiresomespaceplant · 6 months ago
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venti lore stuff i like to think about a lot bc brainrot <3
he's good buds with morax and they play catch with mountains sometimes [teapot landforms descriptions]
he was made into an archon by andrius, who gave up the title because he saw how much venti loved humanity and saw that he'd do better than he would. i love this because he was never destined to be a god, just a wind wisp who wanted to do good
despite being the god of freedom, he is eternally bound to his role of being an archon and looking after his people and his nation
however, despite being an absent god at that, monstadt lives up to it's name of being the city of freedom thanks to him
some people who worship him thinks that drinking is bad yet their god is a drunkard and downs 37 bottles of wine on the reg
he terraformed the whole of mondstadt, reduced pilos' peak (the highest mountain in teyvat at the time) to musk reef (a small island in the ocean), led his people to new land to remake their city better, and then went to sleep for 1000 years???????? Honestly i get it
when he saw how self sufficient his people are, he entrusted the freedom of his own people to themselves because he never wanted to become a tyrant -- which is super interesting as this realization took morax and ei a while to acknowledge
he's allergic to cats and he hates cheese
he says he knows every song from the past, present, and even the future. he's either a branch of or IS the god of time, in this essay i will
barbatos's past was recorded in books and epics but he, as a bard, decided to write ballads about his own mischief which came off as blasphemous to his devoted nuns... so he got kicked out of his own cathedral
the moment he became a god, he used his power to liken his image to his late friend so he could live out the dream of said nameless bard and roam the land outside old mondstadt
that said, it makes me think that the last sight he ever saw of his nameless bard friend was him dying no wonder he needs a drink or two when he decided to gain a corporeal form
he forged a treaty that said the old aristocrats sold mondstadt to the geo archon and liyue, only for the people to realize years later that it was fake and was only made to prank morax and overthrow the aristocracy LMAOO
in one of mona's voicelines, she tried getting a reading on 'that bard who sits around all day' only for venti to send a strong gust of wind at her so she wouldn't find out he was the anemo archon
xiao's voiceline about him implies he could play the flute, which leads me to believe he could play any instrument he wanted his hands on
venti's hobbies voiceline: "i like to drink! and i like the wind! if only there's such a thing like wind-brewed cider"
guys i might like venti idk tho
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daezedglownut · 1 year ago
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