#I hate marvel editorials

[kurtty-drabbles]

Wouldn't be simpler to make an au where Raven raises Kurt and is all fluffy as the fans wanted? She could even raise with her pimp.

Why make that retcon?

[macbethz]

I am so sorry I do like your blog and I'm saying this as politely as I can but it really is hard to take it seriously when you "hate" on something for being slop or generic or whatever when you like marvel movies

This is literally so funny because some of my most popular posts are shitting on marvel movies. I like marvel comics???

[webshootersandwingdings]

Love Unlimited #59

No change to the status quo. Just the most godawful writing ever, is all. But apparently it’s still not over yet.

[jiniretracha]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠? - 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱 (𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬)

pairing: lee felix x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, smut, angst!!!

summary: You worked at Kim Publishing, a place you could call home since the very start. But when it faced bankruptcy, your beloved company was forced to merge with Bang Editorials an evil empire with no vision on anything that Kim Publishing represented. And that's how you met your nemesis: Felix Lee. The bane of your existence. But everything fell into place like the pieces of a puzzle when your bosses had a marvellous idea: a new position as manager director, who had to submit their report in order to be chosen for the job. And your archenemy had the same purpose as you did: get that job one way or another.

word count: 4.5k

ps: I came with a new series totally and utterly inspired/based on The Hating Game. Pls feel free to let me know if you wanna be on this series taglist !

masterlist // series masterlist // ko-fi

𝐎𝐍𝐄 - 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

There used to be a period of your life, when you started working at Kim Publishing, that you loved your job with your entire being. You’ve always been kind of a bookworm, often called a nerd, and as soon as you finished school, you knew you wanted a job that related to your love for them. 

Kim Publishing was your home, just like the owner, Kim Hwayoung, who felt like a stepmother to you. The company was known for its insistence on literature as art, just like you’ve always envisioned. 

But that was until last year.

Your beloved company Kim Publishing sadly faced bankruptcy and was forced to merge with Bang Editorial, an evil empire with no vision on anything that Kim Publishing represented. Basically known for ghostwritten autobiographies of sports stars with brain damage. 

That meant one thing: Bang Editorial workers had to move into the Kim Publishing building. In other words, war. 

You’ve had to suffer from having co-workers being fired in front of you because, according to Bang Seojun, the CEO of Bang Editorials, they were a waste of money and space. 

And that’s how you’ve met your nemesis: Felix Lee.

The bane of your existence. 

Your reasons for hating him were various. 

Reason One: You’ve seen him smile to everyone around you, showing kindness, except towards you. 

Why? You never knew exactly why, to be honest. The minute you met him, knowing you’d be partnered to share the same office, your desks being right in front of each other, you decided to gift him some cupcakes, feeling like making a good impression on your new co-worker. You knew you’d be spending an awful lot of time around him, the least you could do was make him feel at home. 

But Felix Lee just glanced at your face, grabbed the cupcake box and, wordlessly, walked towards the elevator, without sparing another glance at you. 

You stood there that day in your place, feeling so dumb and asking yourself what the hell had you done wrong. 

You’d ask your co-workers about him and they all said the same thing: he was lovely. He seemed to be so nice and kind and yet, he didn’t show not an ounce of niceness or kindness towards you. He was the exact opposite. 

Reason Two: He’s a control freak. 

His desk, unlike yours, was incredibly tidied. Every little thing had its place. You hated it, cause if somebody were to look at your desk, they would grimace and compare it to his. It wasn’t that yours was a mess, it’s just that his was likely comparable to American Psycho. 

You always had fun walking towards his desk when he wasn’t around and messing around with his stuff, misplacing the stapler, moving the sticky notes or turning the pens on their other side. He’d turn around and absolutely know that everything was out of its place. Borderline psychopathic conduct. 

The guy even wore the same shirts in the same order every fucking week. Who does that?

You had even memorized the pattern. 

Monday: light grey.

Tuesday: white.

Wednesday: baby blue.

Thursday: sky blue.

Friday: royal blue. 

So predictable, you always thought every time he arrived at the office with the same shirts on the same day. 

Reason Three: He always corrects any tiny mistake you make. 

You’d give him reports and he’d hand them back to you all scribbled over with a sharp red marker, to give you some sort of consciousness of your mistakes (his words, not yours). 

Reason Four: Probably the most important one. After the merger, he came up with a list of people to fire, making Bang Seojun almost come in his pants from the excitement it gave him saving money, and it included all of your co-workers and friends.

Who were kind of all of the friends you had, if you were being honest. 

It made your skin crawl just how unaffected by the whole thing he was, just flawlessly walking around with his stupid freckles and stupid black hair, always so perfectly combed. 

Felix Lee seemed like the perfect guy with his charms and freckles from the outside, but don’t let him fool you.

You were convinced he was the actual devil in disguise. 

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It was a bright day and you only hoped it would mean no actual death threats thrown around between you and Felix. It would happen eventually, you just always hoped it would be the exception. 

When you stepped out of the elevator, you saw Kim Hwayoung, your boss (or well, one of your bosses as Bang Seojun was unfortunately one of them too) walking towards her office. 

“Good morning, Hwayoung” you bowed handing her a report.

“Good morning, dear Y/N” she smiled at you, grabbing the papers you handed to her. “Has Bang seen this?” she asked, her eyes curiously roaming all over the papers. 

“Well, I’ve emailed it to Felix so, I assume, yes” you nodded, following her. 

“Hmm, and what about that book from the actress. Did Bang turn it down like we assumed he would?” Hwayoung asked, opening the door of her office and walking inside.

You stepped inside and shut the door behind you. “Suspiciously, no. He didn’t. I’m kind of assuming he didn’t really pay attention to the long ass email you sent to him” you shrugged.

“Sounds like Bang Seojun” Hwayoung sighed, wiping a hand over her face in exhaustion. “We need to step up and make sure that girl gets a spot in our editorial. We can’t lose her to the testosterone that seems to run in this place” 

“Yeah, I’m on it” you nodded immediately, completely agreeing with her.

“That’s why you’re my favourite” she winked at you. “Would you be a darling and tell Lia to bring me a coffee on your way out? I’m not stressed today yet but I feel like it’s gonna be one hell of a day already, and please tell her to leave it by the meeting room” 

You chuckled and nodded. “Of course, Hwayoung” you smiled at the elderly woman. “See you in a few”

She blew you a kiss and opened her computer to start working. You stepped out of the office and went to the coffee area, where you knew you’d find Lia, Hwayoung’s assistant.

“Hey, Lia! Hwayoung just asked me if you could bring her coffee and leave it in the meeting room?”

“Hi, Y/N. Sure!” she kindly smiled and immediately went to make some coffee.

“Y/N! Y/N!” a familiar voice came from behind you and you refrained yourself from rolling your eyes. 

You turned around and plastered on a fake smile on your face. “Hey Soyeon. How are you?” you said, grabbing a cookie from the tray that was on the counter. 

She bit her lip and sighed. “I just wanted to ask you for a small favor” she started with a pout.

Oh my God, here we go. 

“I need more time for the monthly report, you know?” Soyeon said as she followed your walk towards the meeting room. “My nephew ate peanut butter yesterday, and he’s kind of allergic to it. I have to go take care of him at the hospital and- it’s just been so stressful” Soyeon faked being fed up with her supposed life story. “Could you please be a sweetheart and just give me a little bit more time?”

You knew she was faking. But you didn’t have it in yourself to say no to her, or anyone for that matter. Quote Taylor Swift, you were a pathological people pleaser. 

“Sure” you smiled, wanting to grab your hair and just rip it off. “Of course”

Soyeon sighed and smiled at you. “You’re the best, It will be ready on Monday… or Wednesday at the latest” she said and walked away before you could even utter a word. With a sigh, you bit at your cookie and rolled your eyes at your incapability of saying no to Soyeon. 

You were about to step inside the meeting room when you caught Felix, staring at you with that characteristic smile on his face. 

“That… was pathetic” he said. 

“Don’t project yourself on me, alright?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“You know, Y/N. You could have her do her job” Felix said, stepping closer towards you. “But no… you always have to be the good guy”

“Well-” you shrugged. “It’s so much better than being the asshole, isn’t it?” 

Felix snorted and rolled his eyes with a smirk.

“Oh, and by the way” you said before stepping inside the meeting room. “Your tie is crooked”

Felix’s eyes widened and looked down at his tie. His tie, that was sitting perfectly on his chest.

You gave him a smirk and walked into the meeting room. 

He just pressed his tongue on his inner cheek and followed suit. 

“Oh, Y/N, Felix. So glad you guys are here” Kim Hwayoung greeted you as you sat next to her and Felix right next to his CEO, Bang Seojun. “Mr. Bang and I have an announcement we want to make. We’re adding a new position to the team!” she said happily. 

“Yeah” Bang Seojun nodded. “We’re adding a managing director, that will oversee each department, and he will pass that report to me”

Hwayoung rolled her eyes. “He or she will pass the report to both of us” she stated, still wearing her kind smile and Bang Seojun just nodded along. 

“The job is open to external applicants, of course, but… I would very much like to hire from within” Bang Seojun smirked at Felix. 

“Yeah, and we’re putting up an independent panel since we don’t always agree” Hwayoung eyed Seojun from across the table. “They will be the judge of it”

“You have… about a month and a half” Seojun said, eyeing his papers lying on the desk. “May the best man win!” 

“Or woman” Hwayoung pointed out, raising her manicured finger up.

“Or woman, yeah” Bang Seojun nodded and Hwayoung rolled her eyes again. 

You looked at Felix who was already staring at you wearing his infamous smirk.

You’re on, Felix Lee. You are so on.

⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄

“The job is mine, cupcake” he scolded you, as you made yourself tea. 

“Oh, your confidence is compelling but you forgot one tiny little detail” you said, feigning innocence. 

Felix just arched his eyebrows. “And what’s that?” he asked with a smile, amused. 

“Everyone hates you” You simply stated and turned around, walking towards the elevator with the cup of tea in hand.

“Oh, they don’t hate me. They fear me, which makes me very effective for my job” he said, following you. 

You chuckled. “You know, the day that I’ll be your boss. I will require you to smile at me at least every once in two minutes” you grumbled at him.

He walked next to you as he laughed. “When I’m your boss, I’m going to give you so much work, you’ll start using the office as your home address” he stated, firing back at you.

“When I’m your boss, I’m going to impose casual Fridays” you said and pressed the elevator button. “Hawaiian shirts mandatory”

“When I’m your boss, I’m going to implement a new dress code. No more looking like an elementary school librarian” he said, walking inside the elevator right behind you.

You scoffed and looked at him. “If you get the job, I’ll resign”

Felix pulled a shocked face on him.  “Really?” he asked, surprised. 

“Just like you will if I do” you said to him and narrowed your eyes.

“I don’t quit” Felix said to you with a chuckle. 

“All right. Then, I’ll fire you” you fired back at him. 

“Ah… but I’m incapable of giving you that pleasure” Felix smirked.

“Aww, it’s not the first time you’ve said that to a woman, isn’t it?” you asked him, with a grimace. 

Felix snorted and looked away, shaking his head.

“So we agree, then” you said with a smug smirk and he looks back at you, his eyes full of a certain emotion you couldn’t quite pinpoint. “If one of us gets the job, the other one has to quit” 

“Fine. Agreed” he said, sure of himself that he was going to be the one getting that job. 

The doors of the elevator opened and you stepped inside your office. You saw that Wooyoung, your co-worker, one of the few people that weren’t fired from the merger, was waiting by your desk with an excited smile.

“Oh, hey Wooyoung!” you smiled at him with a wave, your eyebrows raising up at his presence.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m bringing some delivery for you” he smiled at you, handing you a book.

You gasped, immediately recognising it. “Oh! The new book” you smiled widely at him. “That’s so nice of you, thank you”

Wooyoung worked in editing and even though he wasn’t technically your friend, you two had a very good relationship. Ever since all of your friends were fired, Wooyoung was kind of like the only person you found you could trust, besides Hwayoung. You tried to keep him close to you ever since the merger. 

“The designers made copies in advance, it’s not that big of a deal, so…” he shrugged, walking closer to you, trying to contain the smile that was trying to creep into his face from your words.

Felix sat by his desk and narrowed his eyes at the scene unfolding in front of him. 

You looked at the cover and frowned immediately. “Oh shit. Is this the cover?” you grimaced, showing the book to Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung let out a frustrated sigh and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Bang Seojun made us do it” he shrugged, clearly annoyed as well. 

“The book is about archeology, what the hell is this?” you stared at the book with a cover with a girl in it. “Did he even read the back cover?”

“I seriously doubt it” Wooyoung replied slowly. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t”

“Do you, Y/N?” Felix asked and you found his gaze. “I mean, I was sure you didn’t even know how to read so…”

“First grader insults, great job, Felix” You said with sarcasm, give him a thumbs up. 

“Okay… I’m out of here” Wooyoung said, noticing that you were about to get each other's throats. Again. 

“Bye, Woo” you smiled.

“Bye, Y/N. Bye, Felix”

Felix didn’t reply and just grabbed some papers from his desk before sitting on his chair and looking at the now empty corridor.

“That poor sap thinks you’re flirting with him” Felix bit his lip, shaking his head. “How sad”

“The same way people think you’re flirting with me?” You asked him, raising an eyebrow. 

“Cupcake, if I was flirting with you, you’d know” he smirked, confidently. 

“I didn’t know losers knew how to flirt, but here we are” You said, typing away on your computer. 

You saw him sigh and grab a journal from a drawer, and with a red marker, scribble something inside it and close it. He left it there and opened his computer.

Your eyes shifted down to your hands and gnawed at your lip. You were now curious at what the hell was that thing where he just scribbled something random with a red marker on a journal. 

Before you could think it through, Bang Seojun came into your office with a smug smile. “Hello, my hardworking people” he said, and you knew he had to refrain from calling you slaves.

“Hi, Mr. Bang. I have a copy of the new book for you” you said, grabbing the book that Wooyoung had handed you.

“Ah!” Seojun yelped and walked towards you, grabbing the book. “Dr. Lee, you didn’t tell me it was ready” Seojun said, eyeing the book proudly. “The cover was all me, you know?” Bang Seojun looked way too proud of the god-awful cover.

“Y-yeah” you nodded, scratching your head in an awkward manner. “It’s um… it’s definitely eye-catching” you stammered, obviously finding it very hard to lie. 

“Yeah” Seojun chuckled. “Did you send the emails I told you to send, Dr. Lee?” 

“Yep. Already did” Felix nodded, without sparing him a glance. 

Bang Seojun smiled contently and patted the book with his palm, before leaving it on your desk. “Great. See you kids later” Seojun said and left the office.

“Bye… dick” you whispered that last part under your breath. 

“Did you just refer to the cover as eye-catching?” Felix said, with laughter hiding in his voice. “It looks like it was designed by a horny fifth-grader. Not exactly delivering knowing it’s a book about the diary of an archeologist, but whatever” 

You pulled your face back, taken aback by the information he had just provided. “Since when do you read the books we publish?” you asked him, narrowing your eyes. 

Felix shrugged. “I always do it. Plus, I felt the book was so boring, I fell asleep three times reading the first page” he said, placing his macbook inside his bag.

You snorted and stood up from your chair, grabbing your purse. “Well, it’s tiring to read above your level of education” you fired back. “Maybe you aren’t ready for chapter books just yet”

“It was boring, Y/N!” Felix defended himself, standing up to grab his coat from the hanger. 

“It was a masterpiece, and then Bang Seojun had to go and cut like 200 pages from it, with the sole excuse that he wanted it to be more of an ‘airport read’” you scoffed, putting on your coat and placing your purse on your desk. “Which is totally ridiculous. He’s just trying to mask that he doesn’t have enough IQ to actually interpret what the author is saying”

“Just admit it, cupcake. It was boring” Felix said, giving you a look.

“Whatever” you rolled your eyes and walked towards the elevator with your stuff, Felix following you behind. 

“So… any plans for the weekend?” He asked with a long breath. “Probably your usual right? Watching a cringey romantic comedy while eating something greasy out of a can?” 

You scoffed and let out a little laugh. “And what about the Lee’s? Drinking the blood of a virgin and then staring at each other in silence?” you arched an eyebrow at him. 

“Ugh, how did you know? We’re looking for donations” Felix said and you were both startled when Ms. Choi came into the elevator.

Ms. Choi as soon as she saw them, let out a huff. 

“Oh, hi, Ms. Choi! You look spectacular today” you smiled at her. “Love those earrings”

“Don’t even try” Ms. Choi cut you off. “I’ve got four complaints this week. FOUR. Three alone about the break room incident on Monday” she fumed. 

Oh. Yeah. 

That… was… 

MONDAY:

It was supposed to be a tranquil day that Monday, until Felix Lee had decided to give you shit for some mistakes you had made while typing the report you were supposed to send to him. He had managed to find you coincidentally in the break room… where everyone was supposed to be enjoying just that, their break. 

“Ready for our lesson?” Felix said loudly, grabbing a donut from a box, cutting it in half and showing it to you, making you gasp. “This is a coma-“ he said and then grabbed a munchkin. “And this is a period, which is a point” he mansplained to you. “Do you know how to use it? Do you?-“

“Put that donut away or I’m gonna shove it up so far up your ass, the damn surgeons are gonna have to cut you in half to take it off!” You yelled at him, banging your hand against the table of the break room, making every single person there turn their heads to look at you.

“Aww, wouldn’t you like that, cupcake?” he teased you, pouting out his lip. 

PRESENT DAY:

Yeah. So…

“Mommy and daddy fight sometimes” Felix explained to Ms. Choi. 

“Yeah, we have discussions” you smiled with sarcasm. 

“Like when Mommy has typos similar to a fourth grader and Daddy has to step up and correct her like a goddamned teacher” Felix said with a fake neutral voice.

“Or how Daddy has a cork up his ass and sometimes needs to yell at Mommy to decompress” you said between your teeth. 

Ms. Choi looked at you with a disgusted face. “Mommy and daddy? Are you two for real?” she scoffed. “You two are the worst part of my job…”

You felt like hugging Mr. Choi and apologising. 

It wasn’t her fault that Felix Lee had to be the bane of your existence. 

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You got home at around 7 pm and about an hour later, when you were already showered and ready to make some dinner, your mother called you.

“Hey momma. How’s London going?” You asked her, sitting on the couch and crossing your legs. 

“Oh, you know… same old usual” she tried to make you feel better. 

You scoffed at her. “Mom. I’m sure London’s a thousand times better than Seoul. Less people, less flashy lights, and on top of all that, you’re there on a long ass vacation”

“Fine, fine. London’s amazing” she giggled. “I didn’t realise just how much I missed this place”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it” you smiled. “Did you, at least, buy me something nice?”

Your mother gasped. “Y/N! Of course I did. What kind of mom would I be if I didn’t?” she answered like she was offended. “I bought you a snow globe, the one you told me you wanted, and a few baby tees that you girls use nowadays with an I Love London on it”

“Great” you chuckled.

“What about you?”

“Huh?” you blinked a couple of times.

“How are you doing? Are you doing something today? You know, Friday night and all?” she asked you.

How do you tell your mom that your life is incredibly bland and dull without sounding like a pathetic loser?

“Um, yeah. It’s- I’m taking this Friday out so I can go on a full party mode for tomorrow” you lied easily. “Me and the girls are going out for drinks and then- then we’re going to a party”

“Oh, whose party?” she asked excitedly, sounding like a teenager.

Shit. “Wooyoung’s” you shrugged, thinking of the first name that came to your mind.

“I see… Any lucky guy we should worry about?” Your mother asked, knowing she was smirking on the other side of the line.

You scoffed. “Wow, you’re getting ahead of yourself!” 

“Come on, tell me! You never tell me anything!”

“No… I was seeing this guy but… we broke up like four months ago. And that’s it” You told her with a sad smile.

“Aw, my baby. I’m sure there are plenty of fish in the ocean” she told you.

“Yeah, well… it’s not that easy to find a good one” 

“What about that guy from work?” Your mom asked.

You raised an eyebrow. “Who? Felix?” you asked with a grimace, though she couldn’t see it. 

“Honey, you talk about him all the time” your mom chuckled. 

“I do not! I literally despise the guy with all my being” you said in a whiny pitched voice. “We’ve had endless conversations about how much I hate him”

“Yeah, sure, sweetheart” 

“You don’t believe me” you stated, it wasn’t a question.

“Oh, no. It’s not that I don’t believe you. I don’t think you don’t believe yourself when you say those things about Felix” she explained.

“Alright, um… I’m gonna- I’m gonna go watch a movie or something. I think this conversation is done”

Your mom let out a cackle. “Okay, honey. Make sure to call me at least once this weekend” she said.

“Yes, Mom. I will”

“Bye, I love you!” your mom called out.

“Bye, love you lots” you said and hung up the phone.

With a sigh, you rolled your shoulders back, letting your bones crack and started preparing dinner for yourself.

Once you sat down on the couch with a bowl of pasta and put on some crappy reality show to watch on TV, your mind couldn’t help but drift over to Felix and the whole deal you had made.

You just hoped to God your strategy would work, otherwise, the thought of leaving Hwayoung alone with Bang Seojun would eat you alive for life. You wouldn’t forgive yourself.

But on top of all, you wouldn’t let Felix win. You couldn’t. Over your dead body. 

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You pressed your head on the pillow with a tired sigh. 

After a couple of minutes of trying to find a comfortable position, you kicked the covers off of you, seeking some air and comfort over your legs. 

All of a sudden, you felt a pair of hands placing themselves on the sides of your head and a body pressing itself against your back. 

You gasped and pushed back against the hard and warm body. You felt your breath picking up its rhythm as you felt a hand running over your leg. The presence felt awfully familiar. 

“You make me so fucking hard” the man said, and it made you moan lowly, recognising his voice. “You know that?”

Felix’s hand drifted over to the front of your shorts and pressed his fingers over your clit. You squeezed your legs around his hand and moaned brokenly, your feet kicking the mattress. 

Your breath became more ragged as his fingers started drawing tight circles over your clothed core.

“Felix…” you moaned, kicking your head back in pleasure. “Please…”

“Please what?” his deep and sexy voice boomed in your ears, making you clench around nothing. It sounded like a tease, like he always did. 

“Touch me…”

He chuckled and the sound vibrated all over your body. 

“Wake up, baby”

With a gasp, you sat up and looked around, feeling your heart beating out of your chest. With a few blinks, you realised that you were indeed alone in your room and one of your hands was neatly placed in between your legs, pressing against your bundle of nerves.

Your hand flew away from there and you frowned, your knees flexing so you could press your forehead on them.

Felix would not leave you alone, even in your dreams. 

You slumped back on the bed, your head hitting the pillow furiously. 

“Motherfucker…”

-

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @lattyjiji  @jeonginsleftcheek   @alrm02   @skzjiiiii

i apologise in advance if i cant tag you :(

[traincat]

I'm so far deep into the 'Johnny is gay' echo chamber that I keep forgetting that's not the mainstream perception of him 😭😭😭

Like there was a comment on Twitter where someone said 'Johnny wouldn't celebrate Pride he's a womaniser he's chased almost every female superhero in Marvel' and I was like huh??? Johnny??? My misunderstood, emotionally complex, loverboy who loved boys??? Who are you talking abt rn???

Even if Johnny was straight (lol) you know his ass would be at Pride. He loves a party and a loud outfit. He's making Ben go with him. He painted a rainbow on his chest at night so now he has to. He's out there on Instagram hashtagging #loveislove with zero self-awareness.

Meanwhile the only reason Peter has ever been to Pride is because someone he knows forced him. He hates it the whole time because he hates fun and he's still grumpy about that time Jonah wrote an editorial accusing Spider-Man of being homophobic, which Jonah refuses to apologize for to this day even though Robbie really thinks he should.

[rosemaryentombed]

maybe it’s cuz im an oldhead, but i prefer this over the “there can only be one soulmate!!!” like nah bruh. after you’ve lived and died enough times and watched your families suffer and perish, that shit becomes a moot point. they don’t HAVE to fuck. they don’t even have to be friends. but they’re GONNA be friends because why not? jean’s died already. emma had scott die in her arms. there’s nothing to hate, only the inevitability that they’ll be rotating between one another once marvel editorial lets all of them be bisexual. group therapy sessions in scott’s bedroom except all of them fucking

[seilnakyle]

I remember when I was getting flamed on amino for liking MJ and then my friend defended me by saying “if you guys read comics then you would know that MJ is to Spider-Man what Catwoman is to Batman” what do you think about what he said?

Yeah I’d say that’s true. MJ is the most important woman in Peter’s life (excluding May for obvious reasons) just like Selina is in Bruce’s. I would call them both the “Female Leads” of Batman and Spider-Man comics. When you think of “Women in Batman comics” the first you think are Catwoman, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, and Selina of course having been around the longest as well as being Batman’s most consistent and beloved love interest, the MJ comparison def makes sense to me.

AND also like Mary Jane, Catwoman haters love to lie and misrepresent reality in order to make something stick. There are plenty of weirdos upset at both women’s cemented role as the endgame love interest, though Batcat has truly never really had a rival pairing with actual popularity like petermj has with p*tergw*n (thankfully lol) like, obviously Bruce and Selina have OTHER relationships, but like Bruce himself said recently, the one that actually MATTERS is Bruce and Selina, everything else is nothing filler lol

Both relationships constantly being sabotaged by idiots in editorial that hate marriage and character development at the expense of their own stories !

Dc and Marvel with their most popular, beloved and iconic couples:

[mandatory-blog-stop-asking]

brother the fucking Krakoa event unlocks data pages, with the titles being written in Krakoan and everything, it's just a direct continuation of the art philosophy of the era. It's almost positioned to be able to be read as a little official crossover around 2023. How is it so peak.

I keep being shocked this game came out a few months after the era ended. The season letter in the main menu is a fucking love confession, someone in the office whose job was reading current early 2020s comics to figure out some character docs fell in love and evangelized the team on it. They're as sad it's over as I am. The Fantastic Four letter was just a long way of saying "wow making 4 characters in one season was a challenge."

The omega fumble Marvel editorial landed by ending this fucking era for a movie that's now been delayed until like what, after 2027?, might be the single biggest wasted opportunity in the modern industry.

It's not even like I don't understand the ~20 #1s issues they released since sell like water, because that's what #1s do, and it's not like I thought they were gonna stay in an island away from teams and the regular population for more than 5 years, because I didn't. That'd be stupid.

but holy shit the footprint this latest attempt has had on the industry and fandom is so fucking miniscule. The money's in but there's so little happening, the places they're in are so forgettable, the new characters are struggling to get people into them with the same ease that someone like Rasputin IV did, or how there's a lot more Synch and Doug fans now that got little to no place to go, or the complete lack of a reaction to a myriad of other moments in the last 5 years where shit just went back to being well regarded and good.

Instead everyone I know who was super excited for Krakoa era stuff is reading maybe a couple of the new books just in case they get good and most people who didn't like the era aren't super interested in this new one either, because it keeps not being about anything in particular. We're back to X-Men being that franchise that has some great old comics with one or two self-contained current runs that are good for a single character.

Marvel rivals is really good is what I'm saying, check out those lore pages for the mutants, they have some stuff going on.

also please do not bother replying with "here's why it sucked actually" or "here are the reasons why I hate it and why it's morally repugnant to like it", I do not care what you have to say and you do not care about what I have to say, it's been 6 years since the thing started and we've had this talk once a week, be so for real lmao

[kurtty-drabbles]

Hello hi Mun

I used to love Nightcrawler but Krakoa made me wish he stayed dead all those years ago. Nothing he did in that era was worth the character assassination he underwent left and right.

And him making his whole religion had to be the most pointless plotline he's ever had as a character because at the end of the day, nobody from the writer, the fans, the characters or the setting can agree on what it was all about.

Nightcrawler insists it's not a mutant religion but it is one, the characters call it one, the setting calls it one and even after Krakoa, it's referred to as a religion. The one person insisting it's not a religion besides Nightcrawler is Si Spurrier who calls it a philosophy and doesn't know half of what he's talking about.

Fans pretend Nightcrawler didn't make a cult but even within the setting you had characters refer to the Spark he made as a cult (ex Mister Sinister). It's the only religion on Krakoa that even has a place of worship and it's in the astral plane where your mind and being get screwed around on a dime.

Nightcrawler pretends he didn't make an inquisition but his Legionaries are a religion police that follow his definitions of the laws which he never made official by the way.

Nightcrawler made a niche religion, for niche followers, with an inquisition going around following and enacting his niche definitions of the official laws that have never been disclosed to most people on the island : It's a poorly disguised cult made by a writer who defines cult as whatever he showed the Chimera Nightcrawlers doing in Sins of Sinister and nothing else.

Even if what Kurt did isn´t a cult, legally, its still a fucked up thing to do and a scream for help that no one gave a fuck...again, the X-men arent family, they arent even friends.

They are friends when it matters FOR THEM.

Hm, maybe they are family, a very toxic and horrible one.

[rei-ismyname]

Heroes for Hope 'highlights'

In 1985 Marvel and DC both decided to do a charity comic raising money for and attempted awareness of the then famine in Ethiopia. Despite Marvel having a murderer's row of talent on the book - Heroes for Hope starring the X-Men - it's godawful and problematic AF. It sold well, bringing in $150K, but Oxfam refused the donation and any association - calling the book 'racist, sexist, and reprehensible.' This led Marvel to donate to an organisation focusing on the entire African continent (?) instead. Jim Shooter hates Oxfam to this day. Seriously, he blogged about it.

The action kicks off with Rachel screaming her head off and the X-Men running out the front of the mansion to find a barren desert in place of their front yard. Just like Ethiopia from those ads! 🙄 This is how the X-Men are informed of the famine and they vow to help.

Upon arrival they witness a starving swarm of black bodies rushing into the plane's propellers, only to be held back by a handful of white people. Get used to this imagery, cos there's a lot of it - but zero black voices except for Storm. What were they thinking?

The clumsy notion of the mutants not experiencing bigotry here is presented as a thing? I have no idea what this panel is trying to achieve tbh. The people are starving to death and even Kitty can't cheer them up.

Superhero comics are fundamentally unable to do anything about famine or any real world inequality. A capitalist entity from the imperial core clumsily trying the same is a pretty good analogy for how nothing ever gets better. Nevertheless, a bad guy was chosen for them to punch. They don't cause the famine but they 'feed' off it. For some reason it manifests as Uncle Sam taunting Storm with racist stereotypes and throwing pies in her face. It's ridiculous. They defeat the bad guy and it's beyond pointless.

There's exasperation that their powers can't solve a famine. 'I don't know if there is a way of winning' says Kitty. Honestly they're just saying things. No coherent messaging or statements here, except maybe 'famine is bad.'

Each page is written by a different person (this one by George R R Martin of all people) and overseen by editorial, so I'm pretty sure the irony of this panel is unintentional. 'Shit sucks, can't fix it easily, try not to think about it' feels like an accidental metatextual statement about this approach.

Jesus fucking Christ. This is the final panel after the X-Men have helped a little and left. This white lady works for a famine relief organisation and for some reason feels hope. A single tear flows down her cheek at the thought of the X-Men/Marvel/America returning with 'the aid needed to end this tragedy.' Yeah, that didn't happen. If I was being charitable I'd speculate that this is a self aware nod to making white people feel good while not helping/actively contributing to global inequality.

I'm not being charitable though. Oxfam was right and this is some tone deaf shit. I think having the X-Men go to an unnamed part of Africa, assumed to be Ethiopia, was a mistake. Real world misery and comic books don't mix well - you end up with an insincere and uninformed mishmash of the two and it's depressing AF for all the wrong reasons. It centers mostly white people with orientalised generic African people in the background. I think a thoughtful approach is possible, but this isn't that. At least they raised some money I guess?

[are-they-a-faggot]

PIETRO MAXIMOFF - MARVEL COMICS

reasoning: Firstly, just look at him. Secondly he was SUPPOSED to be in a relationship with namor in the house of M comics but editorial shut it down because they hate him 😭. And also all of his relationships with women read as comphet with him getting together with his first wife for the sole reason that she was nice to him. That and both of his nephew's are canonically gay/bi respectively and his dad has...whatever THAT is going on with charles Xavier. Im quite sure wandas not straight either- basically what im saying is the whole fanily is full of queers and he too is one. Also he has a few scenes in the super hero squad show and in all of them hes faggy as hell. Maybe not exclusively mlm but hes either ace or some form of closeted. Either way boy kisser 💥💥💥💥

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Will people buy and read ASM be happy? No, not under this current editorial regime. Because it is betrayal pornography.

A more thorough respose to this video. Will ASM readers be happy? Under the editorial regime of the last 17+ years, it is highly unlikely, but most people enjoyed Nick Spencer's run until the tail end when editorial sabotaged him.

'Willl they ever say 'this is great, this is what we all wanted for years'?' No, because for years they've been outright betraying us. Nick Spencer put in the hustle to repair stuff, we liked that, we appreciated that, but he wasn't allowed to go far enough. When he tried, they sabotaged him.

You say long time readers dropped out but kept in the know since the Clone Saga, but a lot of those readers returned in the early 2000s when Straczynski and Paul Jenkins salvaged the title. Not everyone loved what they were doing but it wasn't the case that the Clone Saga irreparably broke the readership. Remember also, this was during the speculator bubble bursting, so a lot of people were buying because they thought the issues would be worth something someday.

I don't really know why you are distinguishing between the Clone Saga and the Ben Reilly era when 99% of people who talk about the Clone Saga are referring to when Ben Reilly showed up in 1994-when Ben Reilly died in 1996. The whole thing was understandably controversial because they invalidated 20 years of Spider-Man canon. People didn't even hate Ben Reilly himself, they hated that Peter Parker from 1975-1995 had been delegitimised as the real Spider-Man. Which only happened, in part, because Marvel wanted Spider-man to not be married. Even when they were trying to reverse gears on the Clone Saga they tried desperately to have it end in such a way that Peter and Mary Jane were not together and there was no baby, ultimately settling for 'the baby was kidnapped but Spider-Man thinks it was a miscarriage'.

You jumped to the John Byrne era, or as it is often referred to the Mackie/Byrne reboot era. I should point out you entirely skipped over the era between the Clone Saga and Byrne showing up. Two years of stories that were slowly but surely rebuilding trust in the readership, before Mackie and Byrne sabotaged it with the Gathering of Five/Final Chapter storylines which set up the relaunch of ASM. Bear in mind, relaunches back in 1999 were NOT common and it was felt that it was insulting to the historical value of ASM to ditch the numbering so close to ASM 500. As it was, we never celebrated ASM 450 or 475 as a result. In 2004 they did restore the old numbering but that was the first time such a practice had been done. As far as readers in 1999 knew they would NEVER see ASM 500, 600, etc.

More importantly, this era was once again *understandably* maligned and controversial. John Byrne was deleting and re-writing Stan Lee and Steve Ditko's run on Spider-Man. This was insulting on principle, but what was worse his 'updates' were objectively inferior. Not only did they retoactively cause problems to later storylines (ASM 200 could no longer make sense) but they also were stupid in and of themselves, for example having Spidey get his powers as a result of a radioactive EXPLOSION!, which was actually *less* realistic than his 1962 origin. This stuff wasn't just a mini-series, it was referenced in the (at the time) modern day stories, the height of the cringe being Captain Power.

The modern Mackie/Byrne stories were also cringe, depressing, incompetent and insulting. They regularly character assassinated Peter and Mary Jane, had them bleet about how they were 'too young' to be dealing with this insane lifestyle. Peter lies about being Spider-Man. MJ lies about having a stalker. MJ is killed off because Bob Harras mandated it, thereby making Spider-Man a depressed widower. Byrne had Spider-Man kiss an under age girl. The new green Goblin mystery was wrapped up by making him a clone of nobody who then melts, purely because John Byrne hated Green Goblin and wanted to spite the fans. Oh, and Aunt May's beautiful death story in ASM 400 was retconned by saying it was an actress who'd had plastic surgery. And again, ALL of this happened because Marvel editorial didn't want Spider-Man to be married and wanted him to be more youthful.

By the way, there wasn't really a new writer in between Byrne and JMS. Howard Mackie had been co-writing ASM with Byrne beginning in 1998 and Byrne left in 2000, leaving Mackie as the only writer.

You say JMS did a soft reboot. Its more accurate to say Paul Jenkins over on Peter Parker Spider-Man UNrebooted Spider-Man. He literally requested that he be allowed to ignore John Byrne's rubbish. JMS was picking up Spider-Man with his Lee/Ditko history already restored. He wasn't rebooting anything, he was tasked with rebuilding Spider-Man at a point in time when sales were at cancellation levels.

JMS' totem stuff was indeed controversial. And understandably so. Spider-Man had been defined as a grounded relatable hero born from science. JMS was floating the idea that actually he was the product of magic and a child of destiny. In a different way to what Byrne did or what the Clone Saga did, it was messing with the fundamental foundational core of the character. Now, I said controversial, I didn't say bad. Those guys in your comic shop weren't alone in feeling the totem stuff was stupid. However, they, and many others, both misunderstoof the narrative and its purpose. JMS never actually CONFIRMED Spider-Man was mystical or a child of destiny. The arc concluded by saying whether it is magic or science doesn't really matter, in fact they could be one and the same. Which is the exact same sentiment JMS expressed in the film script for Thor (2011). Thor says magic and science in Asgard are one and the same. It was a way to have the cake and eat it too, but the deeper purpose of it was to have Peter look inside himself and question who he is, emerging with more certainty about who he is, what he should be doing. Which was in turn a way to *reconstruct* the character after Byrne and Mackie had destroyed him. Additionally, the controversy drove people to buy the book and thus salvage it from cancellation. In hindsight, most fans don't love the totem stuff per se, but they appreciate the reconstruction of Peter's character it facilitated. There is also, it must be said, an age divide with the millennial fans like myself being more aprreciative and understanding of what the totem stuff was doing vs the Gen X or Boomer fans who dismiss it out of hand (much the way Boomer and early Gen X fans dismiss Venom and Carnage on principle).

You jumped straight into OMD but this skips A LOT of stuff. The totem stuff in JMS' run is wrapped up in 2004 (exempting the Other in 2005) but JMS remained on ASM until the end of 2007. A lot of people (not me admittedly) liked the Civil War stuff.

One More Day. Do I really need to explain why OMD is to this day despised? Can we honestly sit here and say this is Spider-Man fans just never being satisfied when in reality it was the actual worst example character assassination and thematic betrayal in the history of Marvel? OMD made a lie out of Peter Parker's 'with great power, comes great responsibility' philosophy because when it *really* mattered he did the most irresponsible (and btw, out of character) thing imaginable. In the process, in a way astronomically *worse* than the Clone Saga or Byrne did, 20 years of Spider-Man stories were deleted and delegitimised, which in turn retroactively made older stories more confusing. Like the OMD made the *Clone Saga* even more convoluted. And, once again, OMD only happened because Marvel insisted that Spider-Man should not be married because he is about YOUTH.

As for Sins Past, J. Michael Straczynski only wrote that story because he was under the belief that it would very soon not matter because One More Day was going to *delete* that story when it rewrote Spider-Man history. Only for OMD to not rewrite Spidey history in the way he expected. You should know that Joe Quesada at one point fully intended to resurrect Gwen Stacy with OMD until Tom Brevoort talked him out of it. JMS' original idea for OMD was going to involve altering history not as far back as Pete and MJ's wedding but actually as far back as Harry's drug problems. OMD changes history from 1987-2007 but JMS intended it to be changed from like 1971-2007. Presumably, this would have somehow involved Gwen and Norman never hooking up so no Goblin twin babies.

You aren't pro-Mary Jane all the time? Does this mean you are pro-MJ *some* of the time?

Let's talk about Brand New Day. You say they are not memorable. So, given how we nuked the character, nuked the canon, nuked Mary Jane, nuked Peter and MJ's relationship, nuked the idea of any romantic relationship Spider-man has as mattering at all (because OMD signalled that Marvel will NEVER let any relationship he has last)...I'd argue being unmemorable is actually a creative sin. BND had an unenviable task, but nevertheless, it had an obligation to *justify* what had led to it. It had to be top tier Spider-man stories almost every time and more importantly, stories that couldn't have worked in the prior status quo where Spider-Man was married.

The fact that they were unmemorable in your opinion is frankly a damning indictment of their failure to be that.

More importantly...unmemorable was the least of their problems. Brand New Day was an inferior Ben Reilly era as Spider-Man. A new version of Peter Parker created to supplant the noe delegitimised version. It was just that this was a new timeline version of Peter, not a clone. And yet, Ben was more in character to Peter Parker than post-OMD timeline Peter was.

BND era Peter Parker was a Loser with a capital L, a pathetic flanderisation of the character. Peter was previously a normal guy with as much luck as you or me, with worse things happening in his life a biproduct of his choice to be a hero (see Spider-man 2 the film for more details). Under BND they just kept piling failure on top of him. Worse, they had him act straight out of character on numerous occassions to the point where fandom dubbed him 'Spider-Douche'. The worst example is perhaps in Peter Parker Paparazzi, by Dan Slott. Putting aside how this story trolls fans by presenting MJ in a clearly intimate relationship with some new douchebag, the story involves Peter learning the lesson that, people have a right to privacy, even if they are celebrities, so being a paparazzi photographer is bad. This is a lesson that Peter shouldn't needed. He hated paparazzi photographer Nick Katzenburg from the 90s. He dated a famous actress and model who was the victim of paprazzis more than once. He himself as a superhero would KNOW the importance of privacy. His identity was public knowledge just 1 year earlier!

Peter was far from the only character assassination victim. Virtually all the villains and supporting cast got their personalities rewritten and/or flanderised, their histories ignored due to inconvenience, Harry Osborn and Black Cat being the prime victims of this. The new villains were lame. The new supporting characters were worse running the gambit from Carlie Cooper (a Mary Sue) to Michelle Gonzales, a racist/sexist sterotype of Latin American women who physically assaulted Peter and destroyed his property, moments disgustingly played off as jokes. BTW, yes a normal human woman was able to punch Peter Parker, yet another problem with thie wretched era; the utter nerfing of Spider-Man.

All this an juvenile humour and indulgant sexual fantasies. Peter can't be married to MJ because it is unrelatable for him to be married to a supermodel. BUT he can break and enter hotel rooms in order to have have no string attached festishtic mask sex with a leath-clad, platinum haired criminal nymphomaniac a chest like Pamela Anderson. The entire era was essentially a bunch of middle aged men working through their mid-life crises by living out their juvenile sexual fantasies throught he avatar of their childhood hero. It was as pathetic as it was insulting. ANd bear in mind I was well within the target demographic they were chasing at the time.

So, once again, the fans are disatisfied for entirely justifiably reasons.

Dan Slott's run. Hoo boy. I'd argue, in terms of runs, not individual stories, no writer has ever *damaged* Spider-Man as badly as Slott did. This man didn't understand Spider-Man on a fundamental level. His Paparazzi story should have proved that alone but it was systemic in his run. Just like the Paparazzi story, Slott delighted in having Peter behave in ways inconsistent with his established personality and history and then wag an imaginary finger at him for behaving in those ways. This guy was nothing more than extension of BND in the worst ways possible.

You say you liked Spider Island. I didn't because I found it belittling to Peter to have the whole city get his powers and magically be practically as good at using them as he was, with Mary Sue Carlie Cooper getting extra glazed by the story. The Jackal is back in Spider-Man for the first time in nearly 20 years and he never has a big confrontation with Peter. Jackal wrecked his life twice. He traumatised Peter. Peter doesn't think or feel any particular way about him being back now?

You enjoyed Superior. I respect your subjective enjoyment. But your subjectively enjoying it doesn't demonstrate at all that the folks who disliked it are impossible to satisfy. Not least of all because the story in its execution was incompetent and contrived. If Peter Parker simply tells the Avengers he's been body swapped, Superior doesn't happen. If Mary jane or aunt may are in character and thereby able to tell Otto isn't Peter (they've been able to distinguish the Chameleon impersonating Peter, when he was much more subtle than Otto) Superior doesn't happen. If the Avengers did a brain scan on Otto and actually brought along any of the brainy Avengers vs the brawny Avengers in Superior #8 Superior doesn't happen. If Dan Slott didn't character assisnate Peter in Superior #9 by having him *endanger the life of an innocent child* and feeling called out by it, Superior doesn't happen. If in that same issue, Peter doesn't believe he is inferior to Doc Ock because he didn't kill Massacre, Superior doesn't happen. Bear in mind, that last point is literally the opposite of what happens in Maximum Carnage so we were going all out on the character assassination. If ANYONE who knows Spider-Man even remotely points out it is extremly unusual for him to lead an army of goons in a giant mech suit and invade Shadowland, Superior doesn't happen.

Do you see? Superior's chain of cause and effect is broken. It is fundamentally contrived. This is to say nothing of how it legit turned Doc Ock into an attempted grapist in Superior #2 and had him jack off to Peter's memories of being with MJ whilst Peter's ghost screamed for him to stop. Classy. This isn't disgusting or a betrayal of the characters and readership at all. Clearly those pesky ASM readers just can't ever be satisfied.

I will add that I find it on principle to be creatively bankrupt to replace Peter with Doc Ock. Its real easy to generate new stories when you have simply started to write about a new character in the first place. Its much more impressive to tell new, engaging stories that fit the themes and history of the same character.

The same is true when you take the same character and the new thing you do is turn them into a rip off of another characcter, which is what happened with Parker Industries.

You say a lot of people were annoyed with Peter being turned into a Tony Stark character. Is this *really* a case of fans being unsaisfied or is it a case of fans when they read Spider-Man wanting:

a) Spider-Man, not Doctor Octopus, to be the main character and

b) wanting Spider-Man to act like Spider-Man, not act like Iron Man

Like bro, Spider-Man's appeal in his how he is grounded and relatable. Its why fans tend to balk at multiverse, magical, time travel, outer space stories for him. He is optimised when he is in New York dealing with stuff you could deal with in real life alongside villains who are crooks/businessmen with high tech gear/victims of science gone wrong. Similarly, his own tech is modest, something that someone smart could believably cobble together from stuff could get from a university campus of the local Radio shack. He should be noticed on the street maybe by someone who read about Mary Jane and be lower middle class at best.

Now, compare that to...

Peter Parker the internally famous head of the world's leading tech conglomorate who is also the globetrotting, nano-tech suited hero Spider-Man foiling astrological themes terrorists seeking to time travel.

Is this something bold and new and different?

Yes, but only because everyone prior to this era understood the character well enough, and wasn't stupid enough, to do this. There are in fact such things as bad *ideas* as well as bad execution.

But as it was, Parker Industries didn't even have good execution. If it did, we wouldn't have had Spider-Man *invading a country with his own private militia*.

You really enjoyed Silk. Can you in good concience not see how fans can have a legitimate problem with retconning that the dying spider that bit Peter somehow crawled all the way over to someone else and bit her. That Ezekiel never mentioned her. That She is practically as competent with her powers as Peter is despite no experience. How she and Peter are played as lovers in a creepy way because they are compelled to want to mate with one another (which is extra weird since it is the same spider that bit them, so like sort of incest?).

Again, YOU enjoying it doesn't mean the fandom en masse disliking it = they can't be satisfied. Perhaps *you* have tastes out of the ordinary for the majority of the readership? More to the point, I have myself no end of experince being told I am wrong for liking certain Spider-Man stories. Our subjective enjoyment is neither here nor there. Love whatever you want. But it is good practice to maintain a critical eye as well. I love Spider-man Torment and Maximum Carnage, but both are objectively bad, with Boomer fans blasting them and Millennials like me enjoying them. A better example? I love Revenge of the Sith, I don't even think its a good movie and still recognise Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars film.

'Make them married again. That's not a story that's a gimmick' JMS took Peter and MJ after they'd been pushed apart by Byrne and Mackie, then MJ had been killed off, then they had been seperated and wrote a whole story arc about them getting back together. So making them married again can be a story. And more importantly, it doesn't need to be a story or a gimmick. A wedding is a gimmick. A marriage is a status quo, one that represents growth and responsibility, two things that were fundamental to the foundations of Spider-Man Stan Lee and Steve Ditko laid down. The absence of the marriage and the continued presence of the Devil Deal signals the continual betrayal of those foundations. No one can take Peter Parker as a hero seriously because the foundation of his current status quo dates back to OMD, the story where he was quintessentially unheroic, irresponsible and sold out on everything he stoof for. And everything we have spoken about above since 2007 is indicative of reaffirming that betrayal again and again and again.

I will add that, it is rather unfair to claim that just having them be married again would allegedly be a gimmick instead of a story....but Doc Ock becoming Spider-Man, Spider-Man becoming like Tony Stark, everyone getting spider powers, Spidey teaming up with every version of himself in the multiverse somehow *aren't* gimmicks?

You said that it isn't that case that 'everything is concrete and if you change it, it is wrong'. First of all, this same rationale is EXACTLY why Marvel made 3 attempts to ditch Spider-Man being married in the first place. Second of all, this is rather unnuanced isn't it? Certain aspects of Spider-Man undeniably are concrete and should not be changed. Other aspects can be, but this does not therefore mean you can change those aspects into *anything*. Changes must be consistent with established characterisation, world building and themes.

Case in point. It is fine if Peter gradutes high school, moves out of Aunt May's house, moves out of a shared apartment, graduates college, gets married, becomes a parent, gets a regular job. These are all changes that are stark in comparison to how he began under Ditko. But they are all consistent with what his defined desires and goals are as a person and the themes of growth, responsibility and (relative) normalcy that have defined him. These are all relatable life experiences. Losing a year of your life because Doc Ock stole your body is not relatable, and it can't even be an allegory for something relatable.

Indeed, all the eras we have gone through have been reviled precisely because they have not simply changed things but changed fundamental and foundational things in Spider-Man. It simply needs to be understood that not all changes are born equal and the character and mythology cannot be contorted into anything and everything without losing integrity. If Spider-Man can be anything, by definition he is also nothing. Limitations are integral or else it has no meaning.

Lets talk about Iron Man and Mary Jane. Frankly, this was a case of fans being, again, justifiably salty that Spider-Man best supporting character and his equivilant to Lois Lane had been exiled from Spider-Man under false pretenses. You might not recall Superior 31 and how she was written out of the story, but it was an absolute tour de force of character assassination. Not a single line of dialogue was in line with who MJ as a person was. It was contrived to reach a pre-determined destination of jettisoning her from the book.

It really boils down to people want important Spider-man characters to be in Spider-Man's comic book, not Iron Man's. The same should be true for Iron Man. Why use Mary Jane when Tony has a plethora of interesting supporting characters who could have been used instead, ones with whom he has a long history and compelling relationship dynamics to explore? The answer? Controversy and nothing more. That and cheap novelty. Bendis's penchant was putting characters drom one franchise and sticking them somewhere else. It essentially NEVER worked. Spider-Man contributed nothing in his time as an Avenger, it was superficial. The same was true of MJ in Iron Man. It didn't even make sense because Iron Man stabbed her and Peter in the back during Civil War so she should hate hated and mistrusted Tony.

Nick Spencer. The ONLY run of modern ASM done by a writer that largely understood Spider-Man and actually put the effort into researching the character. He read allegedly every Spider-Man comic book before his run. He proved his creditials multiple times.

Most people didn't hate on Spencer's run. Even afterwards there was recognition that his final story was bad but also it was obvious it was the victim of sabotage. So the argumentation that Spider-Man fans can't be satisfied is disproved by the reaction to Spencer's run. People DID like it. Because, like I said, it was the first run since 2007 in which Spider-man was being written (mostly) correctly.

Zeb Wells. Let me tell you about this man. This man is self-admitedly just in this as a job. He doesn't care. This man was hired in 2020 to be one of 3 rotating writers after he was exiled from Spider-Man in 2010 for Shed, aka One More Day but for the Lizard, which including the Lizard eating his own son alive and maybe graping a woman. This guy was a fill in writer in 2002. In all that time he was never considered good enough for the main ASM job until 2021. Because Marvel at that point were desperate.

I was there when he came onto the scene in 2002. He was never talented. Ever. He wrote 2 decent issues, neither of which were actually about Spider-Man himself, one of which Brand New Day retconned anyway.

THEN he begins with alternate reality, magic BS. Again, this is not in keeping with Spider-Man's core values and unlike with JMS, Spider-man didn't need reconstructing in 2021.

He immediately destroyed Peter and MJ's relationship after over 4 years of rebuilding it, sending a clear 'Screw you' message from Marvel editorial to the fans as they aggressively reaffirmed their 'official policy'.

And then he proceeded to write Peter as a nerfed hero and a complete loser. It was Brand New Day all over again but with worse artwork.

Again, can you *really* not see how fans would inevitably hate this rather than just being picky babies unable to be satisfied by anything?

Joe Kelly run. I've seen the same opinions you talked about. I think its too early to say one way or the other. But I will say this. Can you not understand how, after the Wells run, the Slott run and BND (which Joe Kelly was part of) Spider-Man fans understandably have been betrayed over and over and over and over again? And therefore, will treat the new run with hostility?

Like I said, you are dismissing the discussion about the marriage as mere reguritation when it is fundamental to Spider-Man's own mini-culture war that's been raging since 2007, if not the 1990s.

Simply put the readers who make Spider-Man comic books sell and Marvel who makes Spider-Man comics for people to buy hold two mutually exclusive interpretations of the character.

Marvel believes it was a mistake for Spider-Man to graduate high school (Joe Kelly in 2009 literally said Spider-Man is mentally 15, so no wonder people don't have faith in him). Marvel believes Spider-Man is fundamentally defined by the theme of YOUTH. Marvel executive editor Tom Brevoort in 2007 wrote a 'manifesto' in which he literally says 'with great power comes great responsibility' is NOT fundamental to who Spider-Man is and never was until he got married.

Meanwhile, the readership believe Spider-Man IS about 'great power = great responsibility'. They believe GROWTH was foundational to the character. That him being grounded and street level is intrgral to the themes and world building of the character. That Peter Parker shouldn't be an adult by default per se, but that the 616 version of him aged into an adult and should be allowed to be written as such whilst moving forwards, including being married and having children. Hence Ultimate Spider-man is widely supported by the fandom and outsells ASM.

To put it another way, Marvel are forcing Spider-Man into a fundamental MISinterpretation of the character whilst the fans want him to be IN character.

So it isn't a case that Spider-Man fans can't be happy. It is the case that Marvel have instituionally been abusing their greatest character.

Speaking of Ultimate Spider-Man....bro....come on. You know it is a false equivilancy to say fans should be happy with Ultimate Spider-Man and therefore be okay with ASM the way it is.

USM Peter Parker has an entirely different history to his life and world than 616 Peter Parker. He became Spider-Man as an adult after he married and had children. If a character has different life experiences to another version of himself he is necesarilly going to be a different person with different vectors for readers to relate to him with. Fans don't simply want to see A version of Peter and MJ married, they want the versions whose life journeys they followed and tracked across the decades. They want the Mary Jane and Peter who began falling in love in the aftermath of Gwen Stacy's death and who began moving towards marriage when Mary Jane revealed she'd always known he was Spider-Man and revealed she too wore an emotional mask of her own.

"Just stop and let us be happy"

First of all you should be able to be happy enjoying whatever you want regardless of what others think.

Second of all, I'm sorry, but I and others are just not going to tolerate slop or low expectations for one of the greatest characters in American culture that has resonated with millions of people across the world. We expect better. We demand better. Slop is unacceptable.

"Why do Spider-Man fans attack the editor for just doing his job?"

Because he is doing his job extremely badly. An editor has to engage in quality control and consistenty control and Nick Lowe failed at this on Spider-Man and X-Men before that. He doesn't understand Spider-Man and his predecessor Stephen Wacker was even worse as he literally attacked fans and defended instances of grape in Spider-man as not depicting that subject matter.

Tom brevoort, executive editor at Marvel literally said in 2016 during the Hydra Cap era that pissing fans off was a marketing policy for Marvel.

So the editors are fa from innocent here. They are complicit in sabotaging writers like Nick Spencer, antagonising their customers and vandalising this beloved character. They also defended people like Dan Slott who bullied fans online.

"We're not worried about the sliding timeline"

I'm sorry. I honestly do not understand what that has to do with the conversation at all?

"Spider-Man's not broken. The readership is broken."

Spider-Man is more than broken he is currently discintegrated. Complete and absolute creatively bankrupt BECAUSE Marvel editorial refuse to undo OMD. Its not even about him being married as much as it is about his history being altered and him selling out to Mephisto.

The readership is 'broken' as a result of the betrayals.

'The readers are nto accepting that this character is kinda just who this characxter is'

That is because the fans can clearly see that this character IS NOT Spider-Man. We can literally slap down pre and post OMD comic books side by side and do a basic point by point comparison to prove this. I already did a little bit above when I compared Maximum Carnage with Superior 9.

"You grew up with the character at one point and now you are old"

This very easily disproven. I was 10 years old when I began reading Spider-Man and those stories werre the tail end of the clone saga. Ben Reilly was Spider-Man. Peter was married to MJ. He was an expectant father. So I was a kid who got into Spider-man when he was ALREADY grown up. And yet my views on Spidey are broadly similar to Gen X fans who grew up with Roger Stern single Peter Parker when he was in grad school or Boomer fans who began when he was in college and Gwen Stacy hadn't died just yet. Because we all knew GROWTH was fundamental to Spider-Man.

The Clone Saga, Byrne's run, OMD and most everything since 2007 has attempted to backpeddle on that growth and keep Peter Parker stuck at age 25 forever (he was canonically 30 circa OMD).

Heck, I was 16 years old when OMD happened, I wasn't old and I was the exact demographic Marvel were trying to capture. I was repulsed by BND as were most fans my age, not least of all because their idea of 'young people' was cringe and pandering.

"I'm older than some of my favourite characters"

This is an irrelevant argument.

As a 5 year old watching the Spider-Man cartoon Spider-Man was MUCH older than me to the point where there was no meaningful distinction between him and my parents.

I began reading at age 10 and the stories I was reading was a mixture of Spider-Man from high school, to college, post-college post wedding, post miscarriage. If written well, Spider-Man can be an engaging character at any age.

In my early 20s, when I was closest to the current age for Spider-Man I despised the character's then current status quo.

This isn't even to mention that from the late 1980s-the present day Spider-Man and Wolverine have been Marvel's top 2 characters. Wolverine was at best portrayed as his mid-30s and yet teenage boys lapped him and Spider-man up because Wolverine was bad ass and a compelling character.

Characterisation and substance are what matter.

"Are we as fans willing to accept that we are old and grumpy?"

It depends on how willing you are to accept the Lizard eating his own son, Doc Ock trying to rape mary jane or Mary Jane dating a man complicit in genocide?

But ofc, only old people hate that stuff. Its not like 90% of YT videos or tiktocks bashing Paul and Zeb Wells run are perpetuated by Gen Z as opposed to creaking Millennials like myself.

p.s. This is purely subjective, but I hated the Partker Industries suit for two reasons.

Its original design involved a green glow. Green visually clashes with the red and blue of Spider-Man's suit. It is the reason his villains have green and purple in their costumes, primary and secondary colours clash. it is why eventually people started drawing it as blue instead of gree

In much the way shoulder pads and puches were the silly cliche design gimmick of the 1990s, superficial glowing bits and extra lines were the silly cliche design gimmick of the 2010s

[jiniretracha]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠? - 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱 (𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬)

pairing: lee felix x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, smut, angst!!!

summary: You worked at Kim Publishing, a place you could call home since the very start. But when it faced bankruptcy, your beloved company was forced to merge with Bang Editorials an evil empire with no vision on anything that Kim Publishing represented. And that's how you met your nemesis: Felix Lee. The bane of your existence. But everything fell into place like the pieces of a puzzle when your bosses had a marvellous idea: a new position as manager director, who had to submit their report in order to be chosen for the job. And your archenemy had the same purpose as you did: get that job one way or another.

ps: I came with a new series totally and utterly inspired/based on The Hating Game. Pls feel free to let me know if you wanna be on this series taglist !

status: on going...

❝𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭❞

𝐎𝐍𝐄 - 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐓𝐖𝐎 - 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 - 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 - 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐒𝐈𝐗 - 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 - 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐓𝐄𝐍 - 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

[summerstrash]

someday I want marvel editorial to let quentin quire out of the closet because I think it would be extremely funny to have him just kind of go "you thought I was straight this whole time???" at someone, because, like, out of all of the currently "straight" male x-men characters, quentin is like, rachel levels of glass closet.

examples:

inspired to radicalism by the hate crime death of a fashion designer in conjunction with an identity-destabilizing revelation about himself.

has maintained a pink undercut/mohawk since 2003 and gives off exactly the same energy as the most insufferable white queer radical teen/20-something you know.

his legal human name is quintavius quirinius quire. you cannot tell me he didn't name himself that after transitioning at like, age 8, during a roman empire phase.

the only human male psychic we've seen as a destined, legitimate Phoenix vessel — a story role typically played by presumed-cis women from a specific bloodline

owned a speedo that put a radioactivity symbol over his junk

kept a reservoir dogs (the most homosexual tarantino movie) poster in his dorm room at the jgs

served as the first and only boy to ever hold the role of "wolverine's dykey teen protégé" (previous girls in the role include kate, jubilee, movies!rogue, and laura)

The now-defunct official JGS Twitter accounts included a tweet stating that Quentin tried out for the school cheer team in a skirt.

the sexy Phoenix nuns were intentionally not all girls, Jason Latour said that to my face with his human mouth.

his version of a Dark Phoenix Saga ("Tomorrow Never Learns") explored his relationships with evan and idie in ways that likened evan to new-mutant-rev!scott and clearly paralleled logan and idie, which, like [gestures]

When Evan and Idie take Teen Bobby to his first gay bar, Idie chalks up her confidence in the space to having dated Quentin.

Percy had him literally trying on bodies during a period where he was trying to find himself after a straight breakup, including female bodies.

the script for X-Men/Fantastic Four #1 included a reference to Quentin hanging out with Akihiro (notable undercut/Mohawk bisexual adoptee with wolverine-related Daddy issues) in the background

Like, I wouldn't be surprised if people at Marvel literally have forgotten he's not canonically explicitly queer yet. The vibes are just so powerful.

[popculturebuffet]

Coagula and Rachel Pollock Tribute: The Laughing Game and Shining Through the Wreckage Review: Put a Trans Lesbian on the Supreme Court

In Loving Long Overdue Memory of Rachel Pollack 1945-2023

Happy pride all you happy people! It took a bit to get to my annual pride coverage but i'm proud to finally do this one. It's one i've wanted to do for a while. As a brother, uncle and friend trans folks and with the right having made trans people their scapegoat djour, it felt like the perfect time to spotlight some trans media this pride.

So starting us off i'm looking at one of DC's most criminally underused and underrated superheroines... and their first trans one.

Kate "Coagula" Goodwin was created by trans activist, writer and pioneer Rachel Pollack. Pollack had a long career before writing the strangest heroes of all and I was plesantly suprised to find she was one of the first out trans writers, not an easy thing to do and even more stunning when you realized she was doing it in the 70's. She was an activist, tarot expert and all around neat person I need to read more of and she sadly passed two years ago, and ever since i've been trying to do this review in her honor.

Kate was a member of the Doom Patrol, one of my favorite dc teams and far and away it's weirdest. Given some of my other faviorites are teens from the future and said teens from the future's niche but loveably enduring rejects, it's not a huge leap.

For those less familiar with the strangest heroes of all the Doom Patrol started in the 60's: The Chief, an engmantic wheelchairbound genius, gathered three people who all had been the victim of a tragic accident that also gave them superpowers.. and unlike most cases in comics it destroyed any chance of a normal life. This was just around the same time Marvel came up with the thing, so it was not only a radical concept but a brilliant one. They were the negative man, test pilot larry trainor who got irradated what bad on a flight and had to be wrapped in special bandages to not die and could release a negative spirit from another dimension fofive minutes at a time, Elastigirl, no not that one but Rita Farr an actress who found some strange goop and could now grow giant and this being the 60's was considered a freak for it for some reason and Robotman, Cliff Steele a race car drive whose body was destroyed in a wreck so the Chief put it in a robot.

They became the Doom Patrol, deciding to fight for a world that hates and fears them and long before that was the x-men's main goal. Having read a chunk of their silver age run the doom patrol is awesome and mixes the kind of weirdness you'd expect with their main foes being a brain in a jar and his gorilla boyfriend, alien invaders and of course animal vegtable mineral man

I do not have time to explain Animal-Vegatable-Mineral-Man but you deserve to know he's there.

The book sadly got canceled and ended with a bang, the patrol sacrificing themselves to save a small town with a population of 14.

The Patrol ended up in limbo. Writer Paul Kupperberg spent the 70's trying to revive them. Kupperberg's heart was in the right place, but he made the team a more standard superhero team which defeated the purpose: while they did standard superhero stuff, they were people with disabilities getting on with their lives in a world that rejected and othered them.

Thankfully when editorial looked to revitalize the book, they found the right weirdo for the job: non-binary icon, writer supreme and hero to queer bald nerds like myself everywhere, Grant Morrison. Morrison's Animal Man had been really popular so they were given their pick of obscure titles and Grant wanted the Patrol, and Kupperberg graciously agreed to kill most of his team to leave the slate clean.

So Morrison rebuilt the team from almost scratch: He only kept three members: Robotman, Dorthy Spinner, one of my faviorite characters and a tween with the face of a chimp, a heart of gold and the power to summon her imaginary friends to real life, and Josha Clay, tempest a guy with temprature powers who was made support crew. Another one did come back but it was in a weird coccoon and not as a member.

Adding to the team Morrison revamped negative man, having larry merge with the negative spirit and his nurse to become the nonbinary icon Rebis, complete with triangle shades, and rounding out the trio and replacing Rita, who sadly remained dead for decades, was Crazy Jane, a woman who'd been hit by the metagene bomb that recently went off, long story that and had DiD.. and a power for each personality. They didn't add onto the team much but did make their home eventually in my faviorite member danny the street: a sentient genderqueer street and refuge for other queer people who can appear anywhere they want.

Morrison's patrol is one of the most gloriously weird, sometimes incomprehensible runs on a comic of all time: Morrison was serious in their promise to make the team not only weird again but as weird as possible: Instead of a brotherhood of evil, they fought the brotherhood of dada lead by a former brotherhood of evil member who was just.. a guy who got bent into the loveably nonsenical mr nobody who had no clear goal, spoke nonsense, used a painting to eat paris then as an encour near succesfully ran for president using a bike that made everyone trip on lsd. And that's not getting into scissor men who snipped people out of reality and spoke in nonsense, a department of normalcy, the team teaming up with 50's muscleman flex mentallo, hero of the beach with super muscle powers, and of course the beard hunter who wanted to shave the chief's beard for his collection. The Patrol was unafraid to be weird, non commerical and it made it a rousing success and the blueprint most future runs followed and the ones that didn't tended to once again try to make them more traditional heroes which how can you keep them down on the farm when they've seen a painting eat pariee? Come on.

When Morrison decided to bow out, with Tempest dying, Rebis having to go now their planet needed them and Jane being rescued from a nightmare reality by a now planet sized Danny. That left the deck clear again and a vacancy. Pollack campaigned for the role playing a fan who wanted to write the new book, aka herself just not having already basically gotten the job.

Pollack's run kept the weirdness of morrisons but made it less abstract and more about found family. What little was left of the team settled into Rainbow estates, with Cliff not exactly happy to be on the same team as the Chief as it was revealed at the end of Morrison's run he'd caused the accidents that created the original team and then tried to conquer the world.

Thankfully the team found stable loving new leadership who put up with miles but were clearly more in charge. George and Marion were two free spirits who were kidnapped by the goverment an dmade into bandage ghosts. They escaped and found a home in rainbow estates which due to a lot of weird sex related deaths had a bunch of sex ghosts around it. They became the parents Dorthy always needed, valued emotional support to cliff and a needed check to The Chief. There was also charlie, an omnius puppet what talked to Dorthy who despite having a creepy face was entirely a good guy. The team remained weird, but had more of a nice, peaceful vibe to it. It makes what happened to this incarnation so much more infurating but we'll save that for later.

For now we're looking at when Kate enters the picture and i'm not going into her too much as the issue gives us her full origin story, and her resurrection last year. Yeah she died, and it's a whole thing we'll get into after we meet her under the cut.

The Laughing Game

We begin issue 70, Kate's intro with a tale that's gotten more and more relevant with time, of a man who makes his own insecurities everyone else's problem. We never get a name for this gentlemen outside of the codename he picks and i'm letting the comic speak for itself. This chap's supervillian origin story is as pathetic as it is common

Yeah this woman made up a really thin excuse to try and turn him down.. and his result was "GRRR HOW DARE SHE SOMEHOW MAGICALLY PREDICT MY DONGER IS TOO SMALL". And look as someone whose been unintentionally creepy with women in his youth, it's better to just firmly state your not intrested.. but I also completely get WHY many women don't: Some men can turn violent and given this one in particular will spend the rest of his life paranoidly assuming every rejection is because he's not packing, she's very lucky he just stood there grimacing instead of trying to put a hand on her or shouting at her calling her a whore or some such nonsense.

He doesn't stay unshouty for long as we see him in college where he yells at a woman he was "dating".. aka just went on three dates blaming his small member for it. He upgrades to grabbing a woman and saying "bitches" in adult life. It's a slow gradual and realistic escalation and works so well because it's realistic. Had this guy just worked on himself or gotten some help, he could've seen the problem was he was clingy and obessive, glomming onto every woman and then falling back on the same excuse again and again. When a surgeon he goes to to get enlargment surgery suggests therapy, he says "You want to shrink my head make it small enough to fit the rest of me is that it?"

And gets defensive with a sex worker who isn't even mocking or caring that he isn't packing.

Okay so first, women, and any gender, .. have every right to have a size preference. While I haven't done anything myself I've picked up from media that some can be too big, some can be too small. You have to find the one that's just right for you. If your fine with oral , toys or other ways, then great, there's a workaround. Everyone is different sexually and it's clear Pollack is aware of that and uses that.

The second is what makes this character work so well.. this idea that the problem was never physical.. it's mental. The problem is in how the guy HANDLES rejection, finding a coinvent excuse instead of looking inward. I learned from the many rejections i've had and realized how I done fucked up. Sometimes I didn't they just weren't intrested sometimes I was creepy without meaning to and adjusted my behavior.

This douche on the other hand simply blames the women "Their not satisfied with someone like me. It's them. it's their problem! "

It's something we see online far too often with people like incels, who blame women for not fucking them, various assholes complaning about women "not being sexy anymore" in video games when their just.. not as fanservicy and often still attractive and frankly that's a you problem anyway, or in one case complaining about a statue's boobs.

If I had a nickel for every time i've had to bring this stupidity up i'd have two nickles.. which isn't a lot but it's infuriating and unsurprising it happened twice.

It is incredible to not only see this represented in the 90's but so well. This is a villian who could easily make a comeback for the modern eras but in many ways is so perfectly used as a one and done here, a perfect symbol of toxic masculinity and trying to "fix" the wrong things about yourself that i'm reluctant to.

And yup I wasn't just being cute this really was his supervillian origin a fun wholly realistic parody of how petty supervillians are and how petty toxic masculinity is cumilating in the reveal of his name

Codpiece is objectively funny. See the Bronze and Dark Age of comics, while not lacking in great villians like The Iron Monger, Apocalypse, and Venom was not batting a thousand. A lot of villians really aren't that far off from Codpiece in terms of rediculous gimmicks. Like a pre-revamp calculator

Or mindworm

For every fantastic villian there were 8 or so who were just mid and either got heavily reworked or banished from time and space as they deserved. The fact Codpiece wasn't some one off batman villian james gun worked into the suicide squad is a stroke of fate and satire. The fact he wasn't in the doom patrol show at all, much like Kate herself is a shame and the fact he's not in the DCU yet is simply a matter of when rather than if. I know he's already got plenty of roles showing off his talents, but please put Sean Gunn in a giant cybernetic strap on to get punched in the face by someone.

We then get to our main cast as George and Marion plan to go out for the day. Cliff is rebuffing attempts to go along: he dosen't fit in, hates his body (even though the two assure him his is lovely). It really sums up the character: Cliff will protect humanity because no one else can fight the things they fight the way they can. But he's under no illusions he'll ever be accepted and chooses to wallow in self hate and the hate around him. Dorthy is staying to keep an eye on cliff. But I love George and Marion's reasons for going out: they should be out in the world, their normal as anyone else. THey also take some of the sex ghosts with them which should be handy later.

We then meet Kate and her introduction is just perfect: casually hanging out with a friend of hers. She came into town for her birthday and they go into a bar where everyone knows their name, accepts them.. and allows Kate to do her trick: she can make things coagulate aka change a fluid to a semi solid state or change a solid to a liquid. It's all very scientfiic, very specific and a perfect fit for our heroes: Something useful.. but something weird that you wouldn't see on a children's cartoon back then.

Kate has agreed to give her friend her secret origin story. Kate is a freelancer having talked about having done trucking, computing.. and being a sex worker. There's a modern lack of judgement in Kate's career that's refreshing, with Pollack being just as caring to sex workers as she is to trans people, treating them as they always should've been treated: like anyone else. It's just what she does to get by sometimes.

One of her clients turned out to be Rebis. It was so good and weird she didn't take their payment and the negative spirit came in and out of her a few times in both ways. As a result Kate gained powers... at least as far as she figures and so far canon has just gone with this and i'm fine with it. We don't know if Rebis had other partners at the time, if Larry could do the same, because no one's really bothered to unpack this concept and for Rachel it was just a way to give Kate a connection to the team's past.

Speaking of a team's past there's a bit of the origin that's a bit thorny for me personally. When her friend brings up being a superhero Kate admits she treid that... and got turned down flat

The reason this is thorny is given the timing, it had to be during Morrison's run... it was likely the Justice League International that turned her down, aka one of my faviorite superhero teams ever.

That said i'm not so thin skinned about my faviorites that I can't imagine that some of the league would do this. And by some of them... I mean Guy, guy did this. For those who haven't googled him for his upcoming role in Superman Guy Gardner is a green lantern... and was also a right wing asshole who no one else on the team liked and was mostly kept for a combo of his powers and the fact he'd probably sneak in at night and wreck up the place if they fired him. So a guy who saw sylvester stallone as his hero, licked regan's boots and would've gladly declared war on russia if someone asked him to and once nearly created an international incident.

It's also just as likely that Maxwell lord, 80's business man who was the team's manager basically... woudl've done it. I don't think he woudl've been as bluntly transphobic or sex worker phobic as guy, but he defitnely would've wanted to make some changes or not have her be publicly trans, both things Kate would rightly find a dealbreaker. The rest of the team I think would be fine with it and at most just put their foots in their mouthes. In paticular Martian Manhunter is only not nonbinary because they haven't got around to classifying him as such (if with he/him prounouns), ice is lovely to everyone, Fire seems open and Ted isn't mean. He'd probably again put his foot in his mouth. It may just be me thinking the best of characters I love and I have no doubt they'd fumble the bag somehow in handling it. But I also can't imagine any of them being super bigoted except guy and I want to make it clear that while still an asshole, I can't picture modern day guy in the comics being transphobic. He's not a right winger anymore far as I can tell, just a douche. He's a prick to everyone equally.

So back with Codpiece whose taking his wonder wang on a test drive: it fires off like a gun, has a drill, a sonic canon and just for added subtley fires off rockets everywhere. He decides to hold the city ransom after doing some light bank robbery. NO ONE CAN STOP CODPIECE.

To stop Codpiece enter George and Marion who first just go about their day. Marion has the proper response to an obnoxious kid who wants to take their bandages off and won't ask

And one of my faviorite scenes with the issue which shows off WHY I love these two and how much this issue has reminded me why George and Marion are fantastic and criminally underated.

It's such a powerful scene.. and a beautiful one. These two would have every reason to tell this woman to fuck off, having her tell them their brave.. just for existing as they are. instead she politely tells her... their happy. They enjoy themselves. They suffered great tragedy.. but they love their lives. It's a nice counter to the core misery the patrol have often faced an acceptance that yes their diffrent, always will be.. but they can live just the same and be happy as who they are. And when the girl breaks up in tears.. they comfort her. Because alice isn't saying that to be a passive agressive bitch or anything: she shouldn't have and it was still offensive and it's good she learned, but there's no reason to laugh at her for it. It takes a big person to let that slide off and offer instant forgivenss.. but they do. It also shows a diffrence in how they handled the kid: this woman wasn't being hostile.. she was just being stupid in a way that can be all to common, pitying someone for their disablity instaed of treating them like anyone else... something i've been subject to myself with my autisim. It's fine to offer help when someone needs it.. but someone shouldn't be ashamed to be who they are or told their brave just for existing and be patronized. Just be accepting, be open and don't be a dick.

Our happy couple notice the explosions, leave their bags with Alice (though tell her to run if things get intense) and we get a neat battle. They dont' do much to cod piece, but it's still a fun action scene including them releasing the sex ghosts.

They don't scratch captain compensating for something but do distract him and make enough ruckuss Kate notices and uses a frog mask she got earlier to give cod piece his just deserts

Kate talks with the couple who are impressed and greatful. Kate brings up Rebis but they don't know them.. they'd like to though. They'd of loved them. But they do offer her a spot on the team all the same, offering to explain it on the way.

We'll ignore the rest of the issue as it's a lead in to the next arc... but the laughing game is an excellent issue, cod piece being a perfect parody of over the top villians and toxic masculinty with the pitiful ending he deserves, his dick exploding, and Kate getting incredibly fleshed out in just one issue.

Kate would join the team.. she almost says no because the Chief is an asshat, but relents and soon becomes a loved member of the family and very close to Cliff, especailly after the two merge breifly. The comic dosen't hold back either: Cliff is transphobic for a bit after finding out, claming she can't be a woman even though she removed her penis .. and she fires back he dosen't have one either so how the hell is that a qualifier. What matters is what you feel and seeing her past, feeling who she is... gets him over himself and to apologize, the two becoming very close. What's groundbreaking is they do form a relationship.. but i'ts platonic. Kate is only attracted to women, that sticks, and Cliff is effectively celebate. It's a relatoinship between a trans woman and a possibly non binary robot that's beautiful.

Now you may be wondering where Kate went and sadly talking about good storytelling is supsended for a second. Sometime after Pollack's run came John Acudi's one I haven't read that did have an intresting setup: a new corprate team including cliff using the name, that seemed to be more tradtioinal.. but it was a swerve. The problem was for no real reason Arcudi decided to kill off what was left of the previous team: While George and Marion were spared, Dorthy's powers went wild putting her in a coma and killing kate with Cliff later taking Dorthy off life support. IT was a stupid shock death and a tone deaf fridging of a beloved trans character and another beloved character for no reason.

What's weirder to me is Kate.. took till 2022 till someone tried to ressurect her. While the Doom Patrol got a big come back in the late 2010's early 2020's thanks to Gerard Way's run and the excellent TV Series i'm bound to cover some day (Possibly after I finish giant days)... the Pollack run was left ignored and George and Marion didn't return till a 2023 halloween special for a cameo. Why Way did this I don't know: it dosen't ruin his run for me but it is disapointing as while I get glossing over some runs like Arcudi's, Byrnes or Giffens, Pollack's is so perfectly in line with both what way was doing and with morrison's run whlie being it's own thing it's a shame.

An attempt WAS made to ressurect Kate with dc's first pride one shot in 2022, something they've done every year since, also bringing back dorthy to my delight.

That sadly was short lived. The next writer for Doom Patrol decided "You know those beloved characters.. their still dead so cliff can angst! And you know what would be fun? If I dug up dorthy's corpse to have the big bad use it as a weapon?"

Yeah this was awful and I stopped reading Unstoppable Doom patrol before we got to digging up a beloved dead character for shock value. Hopefully someone brings Dorthy back next time the team rolls around. The timing was not helped by the fact Kate and Dorthy were revealed STILL DEAD right before Pollock's death. While that wasn't obvioulsy planned it did make the tributes ran for her ring hollow.

Thankfully dc made up for it and in 2024 we got Joe Corallo's Shining Through the Wreckage, a story that reconciles both of these.

SHINING THROUGH THE WRECKAGE

This story picks up shortly after the whole descreation of a corpse thing and also makes it clear the previous sightings of kate were in fact canon: something is up and Will Magnus, creator of the metal men and long time ally of the patrol has figure dit out: due to their being mentally merged that one time, a piece of kate is stuck in Cliff's head.. and could be a way out for her. Their at the pentagon for two reasons: the first is that a tower of babel , what merged them once, is under it. Long story there. And during another story a copy of cliff's conciousness was sold on the internet. This story is pretty much a long cavlcade of nods to Pollack's run and I love that.

In the dreamworld or wherever she is Kate is woken up to a bunch of wild rabid children, the results of an anthro fox's evil schemes. She frees the kids, and zooms into her next memory. The False Memory a villian who parodied edgy backstories by giving kate one where she was raped.. that she rejected. So once Kate realises who it is she rejects it... though the False Memory of the False Memory hopes she finds the real one some day as she feels her real world self is probably also contrite.

Finally Kate auditions for the justice league again.. and is offered to stay by superman who naturally never would've tolerated the shit she went thorugh.. but she can't stay. She has a life to live and will see the real george and marion when she gets out. Cliff finds her after that and since she can apparently access other realities with computers

She is brought back iwth a kiss.. and some coagulation to escape the grave. Kate is back... and she was always there. Hopefully we'll see her again soon but for now thanks for brining her back dc.. and thanks rachel for giving us this gift. I miss you and I wish I could've met you but I hope wherever you are up there... your happy.

[rappaccini]

………

okay. so. i mean. had a feeling this would go the mcguire run route (twoish arcs, then a relaunch with the same creative team, same shitty status quo and a new name to try and get the sales back up).

and it sure looks like that's it. so like. disappointed but unsurprised.

making it 15 issues instead of 10 before the relaunch is still a sign that she's in better shape than she was five years ago. but god.

and marvel has a habit of canning series after 10-15 issues and relaunching them because new #1s boost sales and sales always fall off after the first arc. so it isn't like this is An Indictment Of How Much People Hate Gwen.

gwen leaping from The Bridge… fork found in kitchen.

new costume.... well she's had one every arc so far so it's not like that's a surprise, and getting new outfits is part of comics. it's an interesting twist on her design elements and at least she doesn't look like a ripoff of spiderverse movie gwen anymore. but it does not look good and i hope it doesn't stick around.

new powers.... what powers. she just got reality warping skills. are we still talking about those. or are we about to do something else. characters get new powers, it is what it is, i'm not necessarily mad about it but can we just keep her symbiote in the mix and do things with it.

reading the release and hearing that gwen’s new power is ‘actually an old one’…… is it her symbiote. or are we giving her generic spider powers again. are we erasing one of the best things about her that symbolizes her embracing her trauma. is gwen really choosing to deny her trauma in every possible respect. 🫤

new band..... ha. haaa. ha. so they know we want gwen to have her band back. but it's not the mary janes, and it's a sign that she's putting down roots on 616. hate this. replacing her friends is so foul. especially given that the last time we saw them together she was about to come out of the closet to them.

brand new day. naming it after the status quo resettle that broke peter in a way he has never recovered from... alright now that feels like a punch in the face. oh ok we're saying what this is doing to her out loud.

so the letters at the back of sgtgs 13 show that the spider-office knows gwen's readers want her friend group/home back and for her to be queer, but those are the only things editorial/creative won't do, because they're all in on gwen being on 616/the bench until she gets gwiles'd.

so we're just... stuck. spinning our wheels, getting angrier at each other. no amount of cool new costumes, flashy new powers or halfassed attempts at replacing her supporting cast can make up for the fandom only wanting those two simple things.

and the fandom's not budging! they've tried to make 616-spider-gwen happen four times now, and it's not gonna work!

so, since we're going the mcguire route, here's hoping we get canned after one or two arcs.

i don't know if we'll be lucky enough to have gwen slither back home for minis like she did last time. if so we'll probably only have time for one, so here's hoping we get another smash and she comes out before btsv likely shotguns that in the head and she goes BACK into 616 for another relaunch that'll either be ANOTHER mcguire/phillips carousel, or the official death of spider-gwen when miles gets her after all.

if anyone tries to tell me we need to fix her by ~making her more like spiderverse gwen~ i'm gonna bite their head off. making her like spiderverse gwen is why we're in this mess.