#I hate using my brain for super complex stuff

[yellowwwcrayon]

god sometimes I wish I could just stay home with my fat furry little eunuch and write fan fiction forever, and never work. but then my depressed and equally stressed out and underpaid coworkers wouldn't get to experience the sheer deranged joy that is me. duality of man I guess.

[rie-092]

OURS.

[ yandere! stanley snyder and xeno houston wingfield ]

summary: your good ol' yandere but this time it's a jack of all trades and a mad scientist.

note: ahhhhh! i just finished reading dr. stone and i'm dying to make a yandere headcannon out of this duo! and this is the prompt! i want to add senku here but i decided to make a separate headcannon for him! then i'll do wind breaker next and the manhwas that i read during my christmas vacation and while i'm drowning with my school works then your requests! yeyyyy! (I'm just escaping from the reality, pls don't mind me.)

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

Have you ever wondered what it's like to have a super genius and talented best friends? Like having best friends who excel with everything they do and give you an inferiority complex. Well, you should ask (reader) because that is her everyday life with Xeno and Stanley.

No offense; you really adore both Xeno and Stanley. But sometimes, you couldn't help but be jealous of their talents, brains, and skills. You spend countless nights studying and training to be able to catch up to them. But you always end up falling behind.

While Xeno always ends up getting a perfect mark on every test. You, on the other hand, were in the middle rank at your school. While you tried to follow every training that Stanley was doing, you always ended up with a broken bone, scratches, and bruises.

But you don't have to worry! Xeno and Stanley was always here for you! Do you remember the serial kidnapping case that happened in your school before? And how all of the victims was those people who talk shit about you? Well, you thought it was just a coincidence. But you see, Xeno needs some test subjects for his experiments. And man, Xeno hates hurting animals at all. So why not use humans? Pretty fun, if you ask him. While Stanley who happened to be free during those times did all the physical works in exchange of hearing the desperate pleas and seeing the blood of those people.

Oh, you also don't have to worry! Since those two knew how to hide their traces. Xeno just needs to mix some dangerous drugs and then boom! They can watch how the body dissolves along with the other evidence. A pretty fun sight, to be honest.

Meanwhile, Yandere! Xeno is the total opposite of Stanley. This guy doesn't even hide his tendencies that well. Don't blame him; you're too loveable! He really likes how you always try to catch up to him and Stanley all the time. (It's just a secret, but he really likes it when you cry—it's one of his secret pleasure.)

Anyway! They are both possessive and obsessive. Stanley is overprotective and overbearing, while Xeno is manipulative. Wow, yes! You are stuck in the middle of this mess. But you don't have to worry! Just like the center of the storm, both Xeno and Stanley are always calm and collected when they are around you—but please don't ask why they are practically clinging to you when you are around, please. You are the only thing that keeps them sane.

Oh, are you wondering why Stanley seemed to always know where you were? Ask Xeno. Because that little sly fox planted some tracker on your stuff that he gave to you as a gift. There are some who contain the chips who can measure your heartbeat, temperature, and voice recording so he can be aware of who you are talking to.

Are they a jealous type of yandere? No. Because you see, they are both aware of how dense you were. So aside from them, you unconsciously shut down every advance of your friends, acquaintances, and colleagues. Which is a good thing, according to Xeno.

A few months before graduating in highschool. You made up your mind on becoming a doctor, thanks to Xeno's advice. And the two of them were more than happy to help you.

They both like how you gain the world's attention with your skills and wit. You easily became one of the best doctors in the world. And man, they are so proud. But when you suddenly said that you wanted to go to Japan and become a school doctor—they lost their minds.

Are you going to abandon them? No way in hell. Over their dead gorgeous body, okay?!? Have they done something wrong? No, as far as they remember, they only shower you with love and affection—okay, they are a little overbearing, but—!!!

When you assure them that you will only stay there for five years and will finally move in with them. They finally calmed down. Okay, deal. They will shut up for now. But they swear that they will surely visit you every month!

Spoiler alert, you've got yourself a pretty cute lettucehead student who somewhat recognizes your abilities and follows you around. Okay, sure, he sees you as an older sister—nothing more and nothing less. Sure, he spends his time in the clinic whenever he's not in the lab room, but it doesn't mean anything at all. Sure, he somewhat ends up tearing up the love letters that students leave on your desk and taking the chocolates that they give to you. But it doesn't mean anything at all, okay?

Anyway! When the petrification happened and you were stuck in Japan without your lovely “best friends,“. Let's just say that they became worse after they were de-petrified. You were not there. They don't know what happened to you. What if your body got destroyed into pieces? What if they will not be able to revive you even if they try? What if—

Let's just say this time they won't be as lenient as before. They will make sure that you stay with them this time. Even if it means they have to tie you down with them or lock you up.

“saving the world? no, love. you always comes first. while everything else is secondary.”

“you know that i don't want to hurt you, baby."

[gatheringbones]

[“Kai Cheng: Oh yes, this could be a book on its own (laughs). Yeah, I mean, the harm, it could be a book because it’s vast. The harm of the binary right? And it is sort of just the same harm as the binaries that you mentioned that we’re so good at naming. We’re good at naming that the gender binary is harmful and the biological sex binary is harmful. Why? Because it erases people, it dehumanizes them and at its extreme, which we have seen many times in history, that the binary also then gives way to excuses for heinous actions on the part of the medical complex or the police complex or the justice, the supposed justice complex, and binaries have been used like that for many, many, many years to various extremes. And they can’t all be compared because they’re not all comparable but when we start to sort people into binaries, we start to dehumanize because we lose individual context. And it’s a very kinda slidey scale there when we attach moral worth to a certain part of a binary, like maybe males are better than females, or maybe straight people are better than queer people, that moral attachment really quickly becomes, then maybe all those other people who are not that valuable maybe they should disappear, or just shut up, or become subservient, like all these kinds of things.

So I want us to talk about his carefully because it requires care. The binary of good and evil, or like pure and problematic, those binaries, they do that same thing. I get why we need them or why we want them. I was just talking about values and integrity, standing in your values, and it’s so hard to stand in our values in this confusing, horrible, violent world, traumatic world. And there’s biological reasons for this too, like our brain becomes attenuated to this black and white thinking, this quick sorting, who’s a friend, who’s a foe. It becomes very tempting and in some cases very strategic to say I am just going to write this category of people off. Anybody who’s problematic they’re never going to harm me again, that’s sort of where that comes from, they are never going to hurt me again. And I’m super sympathetic to that, but we lose the context and we start to lose our discernment and that discernment is if we’re always saying that we’re going to get rid of all the problematic people, what’s going to happen when we are problematic? Well we’d have to be gotten rid of, so then we develop a complex around well, I can never be problematic.

And this is where all kinds of weird, bizarre, painful stuff can happen, our collective delusion that anyone could ever be pure, like politically pure, or not harmful. Being a human is to harm others. I harmed something today by eating a hamburger, right? It is just, that is part of our existence, that we hurt others. It’s not a good thing but we have to admit it and it is so difficult to do that work of integrating that reality that we lash out at others. And then there is lot of writing about this, I’m probably going to get cancelled just for saying this but Sarah Schulman writes about this mentality in “Conflict is Not Abuse” when she is focusing on the Israel/Palestine conflict/occupation. The idea that having suffered horrible, horrible ancestral trauma and social violence and genocide could justify a colonization of another indigenous peoples, right, that’s sort of where this binary starts to take us. And yeah, I’m not there for it. And the last binary you mentioned is the survivor/perpetrator dynamic and that’s the one that requires the most care, at least I think it does, as it’s so sensitive.

And I want to be clear, there is a lot of really shitty ways that my work and Sarah Schulman’s work and Porpentine Charity Heartscape’s work, anyone who is writing about nuance, and conflict, and transformative justice even adrienne maree brown, there’s many kinds of way this work could be used to delegitimize survivor’s truth and I hate that, I’m not there for it. There’s so many ways that any rhetoric can be used to deflect real accountability or honesty, and that’s disgusting, I hate it. But it’s also a truth, we can hold more than one truth at the same time, that being human is to harm and as Mariame Kaba says, “no one is introduced to violence as a perpetrator.” No one is introduced to violence as a perpetrator. So when we start to ask ourselves the question, how do we end violence? Actual, I just don’t believe it is a functional answer to say, we’re just going to get rid of the violent people. That’ll just be this endless cycle of trying to get rid.

We have to start talking about why do we do violence, and what does it look like when we do violence, how can we tell the truth about that? And that is so much messier than there is a group of predatory people who are all evil and they’re just hiding among us, waiting for the opportunity. The truth is that that harmful being is usually someone lashing out in their own attempt to survive, often misguided attempt to survive. And the only way we’re going to not have that problem in such a present way is to ask what is it that we need to survive and then make sure everybody gets that.”]

[eleu22]

i saw ur tt about barracks bunny ocs and i felt super weird replying to ur story about it so i ran to tumblr to put it in ur ask box.. sorry if it’s super freaking long

literally like. barrack bunny ocs (every time ive seen them) have always had super deep themes to them ON PURPOSE. like it’s such a cool concept especially for special forces i think where rules are already a bit stretched. like obv i understand that women can be treated negatively in fandom spaces anyway (oversexualized etc) and i think maybe that’s why people don’t like them?? esp in fandom as it’s started moving into more purity culture themes (😟) and maybe it’s considered eugh to make a female oc that’s sexual / femme fatale-esque. yk?

like that used to be a status quo thing, esp in superhero comics and the like. where women were either civilian wives or sexy villains etc etc. so i assume it’s to kind of get away from that.

BUT BARRACKS BUNNY OCS HAVE POTENTIAL. obviously ocs of any kind are super cool and i love them, and ocs don’t have to be deep. but there’s so much raw potential there that people are ignoring because they see characters on a surface level. head in hands.

anyway if u ever decide to cash in on that idea urself, im vibrating with excitement. also as a side note i love pear i love her dynamic with nikolai i have her lore tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. live laugh love pear 5ever. pls post more pear forever. i love her <3

I’m gonna start this out with that one thing i saw i forgot who said it

it was a thread that was like “im so tired of the beauty as a weapon trope” and someone else replied “it is, against women”

that literally altered my brain chemistry.

I think with cod especially writing a barracks bunny oc has to at some level be tactful. Beauty is not a weapon women can use and I think it needs to be framed that way. I think in general ‘whore’ characters are incredibly interesting. I think it’s firstly, really interesting to challenge the madonna-whore complex, especially in video games and secondly, view these situations as what they are. Whether it be a response to trauma or trying to assimilate to a culture in which your worth is based off of your fuckability. I think the debate is just as to whether you depict them as a victim or as empowered.

Imo this is SUCH a rich topic for some amazing characterisation here, because this culture is SO pervasive it even permeates fandom spaces, where we are usually better about these things. Again and again I see male ‘whore’ characters be praised, it’s always framed as some cute character trait. Whereas, I rarely see female ho characters and when I do people have such an intense hatred for them.

We’ve created an entire genre of meme (like the whole yn thing) to make fun of this (which i highkey think the yn videos are funny but still u see what im saying).

anyways im just always here for the bitches everyone hates, sluts out there i love you.

I just generally (not that people aren’t) want people to kind of think outside the box with characterisation!! there are no rules, just do your research and write a character genuinely.

and OMYGOSH TYSM :DDDDDD it alwats makes me so happy when people say they like pear and her lore it means to much to me!!!! I make a lot of content for cod stuff, so it’s really nice to see people engage with something IVE made myself and enjoy it so thank you sosososososso much!!!!!!! :))))))))))

[poloswoolish]

Initial Thoughts on Spider-Noir

A new Spider-Man show? A new LIVE ACTION Spider-Man show?? You know how LONG it's been since we've had a new live action Spider-Man show?? 87 years. Time flies. Anyway, wow, I'm pretty interested in this. Well, of course I am. It's Spider-Man, why wouldn't I be? It's always exciting to see new Spider-Man stuff that looks good because it gives me that the wonder and whimsy I had as a little bitty boy.

I think a live action Spider-Man Noir show is a pretty great idea. The setting and tone just works perfectly for a TV show, right? Well, most comic book things work perfectly as a TV Show, so what I just said is just common knowledge, but its true. There's been a HUGE lack of adaptations focused on this version of Spider-Man and his world so this is a breath of fresh air. We've heard of this show for quite some time now. According to my brain, I THINK??? since 2021? 2019? Somewhere around that time frame. Though we never knew much so, naturally, I just completely forgot about it. UNTIL, LIKE, 3 DAYS AGO, I THINK??? Where the teaser was dropped so now this is fresh in my mind. 

Nicolas Cage reprises his role as Peter! Except it's not Peter. It's Ben Reilly. But only in name. This is just Noir Peter. Now I don't think this has been confirmed but I don't give a shit. The insanely complex and confusing rights with Spider-Man have rules that they need to follow. One of those rules is that Peter can't do, uh, wild ass shit. Noir is a much more violent Spider-Man than the one we know so it would make sense that they would give him a different name. And that name would probably be Ben Reilly. TIME TO RANT!!11

Ben Reilly has gone through SO much shit. No matter what it just seems like things don't get better for this character in and out of universe and it MAKES ME SAD.

His first ever appearance in a big budget animated movie just used him as a parody of early 90s comics' and how edgy they were. Just super lame and unfunny and not how Ben is at all? Describing him as "muscle-bound", a "meathead", and "follows orders without questioning" pisses me off SO much THAT'S NOT WHO HE IS AND HE HAS SUDH A GOOD FESGN AND HE LOOKS SO HOT FICK YO U

Marvel Editorial fucking HATES him. They brought him back as Spider-Man only to turn him into a villain. AGAIN. They don't see Ben as, like, apart of the Spider-Verse but they will GLADLY make 50 other Spider-People and dump them in 616 or shitty Spider-Verse events that nobody is going to remember in years. 

Sometimes he's just used as a Easter egg!! A reference!! Meant to make people point at the screen and say "I KNOW THAT GUY" and nothing more. Now I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that. It can be fun but Ben just doesn't feel like a character that's actually loved so I can't really appreciate these as much. OR they'll just, I dunno, USE HIS name for a DIFFERENT CHARACTER for NO REASON??? NOTICE HOW ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN IS HERE TWICE FUCK THAT FUCKING SHOW. There are more examples but, like, these are the biggest examples, or whatever.

I'm madly in love with Ben Reilly and the way he's been treated makes me very sad because it feels like the higher ups don't appreciate this character as, uh, a character when he deserves to. God. This is way too dramatic.

And, here we are, with this show. Using his name. For a different person. Again. This is FUCKED up. 

Anyway, uh, I'm sure Nicalois will do a very good job as Noir-Man. It's kinda cool that he's, like, playing this character again. Though the contrast of the silly funny man from the Spider-Verse movies to this grimy and gritty TV Show will be very funny. 

Remember when he was Ghost Rider? That was pretty cool. The 2007 movie is, uh, the way that it is but there's a lot of charm to it that makes it a very enjoyable watch. Same can't be said for the other movie, Spirt of Vengeance, though. Despite the crazy chaotic action sequences and the excitement, in more ways than one, that comes from seeing Ghost Rider in that movie is very cool but, oh my fuck, the movie is SO boring when that stuff isn't happening. 

I like the atmosphere this show has so far. Definitely captures the style of Spider-Man Noir. I was kinda concerned that the cinematography wouldn't be very good because I'm skeptical of everything but from what we've seen it looks very cool. This suit is VERY good, like, that's just him in real life. Someone on Twitter pointed this out but if you look closely you can see that the mask's fabric replicates a web pattern and I find that detail super cool. They didn't NEED to do that but they did and it shows care and passion for this. The fraction of a milsecond we saw with that action scene looked VERY nice, good camera work, snappiness, quick, very good. 

Uh, that's kinda all I have to say. We still don't have much information but now that we have a teaser I'm interested in seeing what this show will be like when it releases and hope I won't be disappointed somehow.

[starfanatic]

Crafting the most controversial ranking of the olympians (including Hestia and Hades)

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST WAS INSPIRED BY @wanderingmind867

APOLLO: He's just fucking AWESOME???!!! What can I say? He's such a easy to like god when you don't let the stupid retellings poison you. He's the god of writing and music (both topics that I love) and just SO much more. I can't even grasp how much the greeks fucking loved this guy and so do I. In a more fanon-y way, in my head he's the best possible protagonist out of all the olympians for a story. There's so much nuance with him, and I just love psychoanalyzing him. I also think his relationships with other gods and every mortals is so INVESTING and intense if you think about it in the right way. Also I love blondes. Blondes are hot.

ARES: The more people hate him, the more I defend him. He gets so much undeserved bullshit, he should've been the Hades of our modern generation, he deserves it way more imo. He's a great father, a great lover, and he dances! DANCES! He's probably the god with the most misinformation besides maybe Hades. Ares kind of gives me the underdog affect? Yes he's this big huge god, but he loses FAR too much to be considered the "bully" like the myths advertise. And I get that it's supposed to be a message "brain over brawn" but quite frankly I could care less. Ares is treated bad by his parents, he just deserves so much more I love this guy. I love paralleling him with other gods too like Athena or Apollo or Zeus. He's just so fun to write.

APHRODITE: I feel the exact same way for her as I feel for Ares. I used to hate her SO MUCH, until I realized how misled I was. APHRODITE IS FUN. The only thing is that I'd defend her wrongs because I don't give a shit. "Aphrodite was petty" IDC!!!! I hate how authors (Rick.) write her. She's SO much more then what she's reduced too. She's SO powerful. I think the only reason she's not equal to Ares because I don't know a lot of her myths. She's serving cunt ALWAYS.

POSEIDON: Poseidon being so high is probably a disservice to society. BUT HES SO COOL AND SO POWERFUL????!!! Yes he does shitty stuff I'm not gonna pretend he doesn't, but seeing him in stories is just so entertaining. I typically like reading fanfics with him during the titanomachy or just fanfics where he's being a great uncle (so... super not accurate but it's entertaining). Ngl I giggled when he asked Apollo to fight him during the trojan war and Apollo said "nah im good". Poseidon is a BEAST in the fight with cool ass powers and a BEAST in bed (um.. when it's consentual... fuck I hate greek mythology sometimes). STORMBRINGER (i hope that's Poseidon and not Zeus???) GOD OF THE SEAS

HERMES: Hermes is kind of low, but NOT BECAUSE I DONT LOVE HIM. I tend to like gods who are a bit... violent if it wasn't obvious by the top 4? And even though I know Hermes can be violent I never see him BE violent. He just seems too perfect for me? Name one flaw he has that the other gods don't also have. HOWEVER he's so fun to read about, I don't like Percy Jackson but when I saw Hermes in the tv show I jumped out of my seat. I really like him with Apollo though, it brings a level of complexity that I LOVE.

zeus... I can explain. OKAY SO, I LOVE COMPLEX CHARACTER RIGHT AND GUESS WHO IS A VERY NUANCED GOD IN MYTHOLOGY??? ZEUS! I specifically like him from the titanomachy, because I like to think he was just... different when he was younger. Kind of like one of the typical heroes until the power he has changes him over time. I wish someone wrote a retelling because I'd love to see Zeus and Rhea or Zeus and Cronos interactions during the war. Disclaimer, I'm aware he does shitty shit but so does everyone on this list besides like Hestia and...that's it.

DIONYSUS: His low ranking is more to do with the lack of knowledge but also I'm not too interested in the domains he involves himself with. Never went to a party, never did drugs, never drunk alcohol, etc. HOWEVER I love when Dionysus is completely unhinged. God of MADNESS GUYS!!! ITS IMPORTANT! I love the myths where he's genuinely just being scary as fuck, I love how powerful but underestimated he is.

HERA: She deserves better. If I was her I'd do worse, but like... not to innocent children and women. That's all.

ATHENA: I don't find her that interesting. She just kind of reminds me of that one girl in the class who reminds the teacher they have homework. I am aware that I AM biased though, my top 4 gods consisted of 2 gods that are at odds with her. I just don't like how biased the myths were in her favor, it kind of makes her boring. If Ares or Athena lost equally I wouldn't mind her, but she wins every single time. Even when she loses, Zeus doesn't care and let's her get away with it anyway. Athena, for me, absolutely requires other gods to add complexity to her character.

DEMETER: I like her out of spite because I don't like Hades x Persephone shippers from modern retellings. In particular I don't like the Hades x Persephone shippers that hate on Demeter as if they know anything about her. She's only low because I like a lot of other gods better and I just feel like I'd never be able to write anything with her as a main character because I've never "psychoanalyzed" her like I did the other gods.

HESTIA: *shrug* I don't know her that well, and she doesn't seem to really have any myths to jump off from. The lack of myths and personality puts her low on the list. Though I do love how sweet she is.

HEPHAESTUS: ...he bores me. He doesn't offer anything to me whatsoever. I don't necessarily feel bad for him for the Aphrodite situation either, and I hate when a lot of people who like Hephaestus ignore VERY IMPORTANT details on the myths to serve their purpose. The majority of it is just plain boredom, but I hate how everyone villainized Aphrodite and Ares.

HADES: ...sigh. He's a bit of a unfair one. I'm not someone who can seperate the god from the people who like the god. A lot of Hades fans tend to just piss me off based off the most obvious misinformation in the entire world. I HATE how they try to hate on the other Olympians as if Hades is somehow better then him? He has no myths that doesn't make him better, we just don't have a lot of him. I don't find him necessarily interesting, and I desperately wish for the retellings for him to end. It's not really fair because it's less the god and more the "fans" but whatever it is what it is.

[docholligay]

Wait, people watch Bluey as a fan thing, not as a ‘watching with my kid and getting surprised by emotions’ thing? My only context for it was a comic of parents watching it with their kid and being surprised at their own tears.

Boy, I regret to inform you that over my grand tenure on this glorious and horrible website, I have seen fully grown adults get into the vagaries of so so many shows for children. And that’s not ALL bad--i don’t think there’s a problem with occasionally vastly overthinking a show that just is not designed for it, and even it can be a little fun. But I was under the assumption that we were all agreeing that WE were doing a lot of the work there. 

I fucking love both Sailor Moon and Overwatch, but I am doing the heavy lifting there, let’s be perfectly fucking clear. 

It wasn’t until i spent a lot of time here that I was like, “uh, I think you all need to read a fucking Russian novel, or something.” I have seen an INSANE amount of effort thrown after things that were mostly made to be nice for eight year olds, which is, again, totally fucking fine, but it’s like eating fried food all the time: At some point you need something of nutritional value. Cut your teeth on stuff that actually is presenting some of these things. 

Because then we get this weird interplay of, “Uh, this show about sentient rocks is the pinnacle of queer theory, actually, and the value of communicative restorative justice” and then we start using the language of analysis to basically fight each other: “hmmmm troubling that the white sentient rock chooses to forgive genocide on behalf of others, etc, etc, I have been super super guilty of using academic language to hate on this show because I hate everyone who watches it”. But you know what we’re all being? Idiots. It’s a show for fucking eight year olds. It’s about being nice. Let’s all calm the FUCK down. 

So here’s the core of my resentment. When all you watch is kids’ shows, when all you read is YA, when you put your brain on the kids’ menu…you have this natural desire to stretch and play and fuck around. And when that is focused on analyzing a show that is, y design, of mild complexity, we all end up looking the stupider for it. You can write stuff that’s more complex, but it generally has to be transformative. Write about the Australian dog committing war crimes. Or whatever. I’ve read Sailor Moon fic that was EXTREMELY adult, and VERY good, and AMAZINGLY complex. But the show is, you know…not? Can we sort of agree on that? 

We bring ourselves to the things we watch and that can be fucking amazing, but I think we need to also make sure that we aren’t literally fighting over Goodnight Fucking Moon. Or at the very least can we sometimes fight about The Green Knight or The Fall of the House of Usher or something. 

Thank you for listening even though i’m sure this made you want to die and barely answered the question posed.

[foxfairy06]

Look I was like you before. I thought that there were only two genders for a pretty long time. That gender euphoria wasn’t a thing, that you had to suffer to be trans, etc. But I spoke with my psychologist and she said to me that the SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS is that gender is more complex than male/female.

This was a hard pill to swallow but it’s real. I don’t hate you at all, after all that would mean that I hate myself from 1 month ago. I wasn’t transmed back then because I was a bad person, I just genuinely believed that I knew the truth and that everyone else didn’t.

And I’m not even super “radical” now. Stuff like alterhuman, otherkin etc. I still have some doubt towards.

If you’ve been in the transmed ideology for very long I can totally see how hard it is to even fathom that transmed doesn’t reflect how gender actually works. But I sincerely believe you can make that step.

Even if you don’t change your beliefs I still wish you a good day.

The entirety of your comment is inapplicable because you fail to realize that I'm nonbinary. I am non-binary and do **not** believe that there are only two genders.

1. Transmedicalist ideology does not mean that you believe that one must suffer to be trans or that euphoria doesn't exist. We as a community have a majority which agrees that any sort of incongruence is dysphoria, and that euphoria is just a positive expression of dysphoria.

2. There are a significant number of sources that suggest that transmedicalists are right about a lot of things. Such as Dysphoric trans women having very similar grey matter structures to cis women. The people who make avid claims about nonbinary not being real have likely not read the documents that hold a basis for our beliefs. In fact: the neurological gender perspective (which is THE transmed perspective), has several studies to boot that strongly suggest the sexual spectrum of brain sexual dimorphism. Even one study in particular marking the brain waves of people who call themselves "bigender" and experience different brain activity in specific halves of the brain when dysphoric or euphoric about specific parts of their bodies.

3. Transmedicalism isn't inherrently against nonbinary people there are many nonbinary centered transmedicalist groups. Most of us don't genuinely agree that there are only two genders. There are some bad actors and in general, we don't claim them as representatives of our core ideology. The only thing that transmedicalists believe, defining them as transmedicalists is "Dysphoria and transness are one in the same, and there is some kind of biological cause for gender dysphoria, which proves objectively that transness is not a choice, for no argument to make against that. This would be good for Nonbinary people such as myself who feel disadvantaged by the systems that tucutes support. Even then, the systems that they caused, regardless of whether they support them or not.

I believe you're confused about what transmedicalism actually is because you're talking to a transmedicalist who is nonbinary, seeking treatment for their dysphoria, believes that euphoria is an effect of gender dysphoria, and believes that gender is a spectrum far more complicated than simply "M/F". None of my ideas are antithetical to the core values of transmedicalism nor are they contradictory towards the main community. Transmedicalism at it's simplest terms is "trans men and cis women are different on a very fundamental biological level" and so versa for trans women and cis men. Therefore transness is not a choice, and cannot be taken on. One is simply born that way."

[shsl-heck]

So because I've seen it compared to Worm, I started reading The Boys by Garth Ennis. It's bad! Like really bad! It feels like what would happen if you let an edgy anti-feminist atheist youtuber from 2015 write a comic book. I finished the first volume of the omnibus in large part because it was a train wreck I couldn't look away from, and am debating starting the second since I hate myself. The most interesting parts are actually the little forewords. Through them I learned both that it was supposed to be a comedy, and also a critique of the military industrial complex/police (or at least that people read it as one). This was surprising to me since it is neither funny nor incisive. Anyway, now I want to ramble incoherently about my problems with it because this goddamn comic broke my brain.

Okay, so one of the most common ways it shows you which characters you aren't supposed to like is by having them do comically "gross" sex stuff. Notable examples include cocaine fueled orgies, mentions of shitting during sex, bestiality, masturbating in public to the sight of disabled people, and a little person using sex toys. One that shows up repeatedly in this context is characters being bisexual or gay. Now, I don't wanna get controversial, but I think any claims that your work is a critique of capitalism, police, the military, or whatever are rendered moot when your villains are a group of secret hedonistic sex-freaks. Like we can't pretend that doesn't sound a lot like regressives and their obsession with "degeneracy". Sexual assaults, misogyny, and slurs also appear pretty often, mostly as the punch line for jokes. Victims are rendered down into objects and denied any sense of interiority so we can instead focus on what really matters (gore porn, and middle school 4chan posters' sense of humor). Never once does Ennis deign to explore the actual impact and trauma of these things, or ask why he views these things as material for jokes.

That incuriosity is I think the real problem with The Boys. There is no actual coherent thought about why things are bad. Superheroes hurt people and are wrong because of their personal moral failings as selfish perverts, not because their whole job is to violently enforce the will of the state. It's like if someone agreed that all cops are bastards, but only because all cops just so happened to be "bad apples". The main characters literally work for the fucking CIA, and yes, I know the titular Boys are at best meant to be anti-heroes a la the Punisher. My issue here isn't that they're hypocrites who are frequently also horrible. It's that this premise for is absolute nonsense if you think for half a second. Superheroes do not function without the legitimacy granted to them by the state and it's monopoly on violence, so why would the CIA need these 5 randos with zero oversight working to take out the supers? Is the force Homelander and the others can bring to bear so great that even the apparatus of that state can't deal with them? If so, why does this group of assholes change that? Normally I'd be willing to give the story a lot more of a pass when it comes to questions like this, except I'm being told that this story has things to say about systemic problems involving the government and corporations! So I have to ask, where? Where is the commentary? What does it actually have to say about the state of the world circa 2006-2012? The only answer I can come up with is "not a whole lot". It's a story which dares to ask the tough questions like "what if the world was made of pudding" and then ignore answering those questions so it can instead recite Ellis' favorite slurs in alphabetical order while showing you a woman's tits.

On a lighter note, it's also just not very good. The plot (as mentioned) falls apart under any amount of scrutiny, pacing is bizarre in a bad way, the characters aren't compelling, themes remains stubbornly unexplored, and Ellis is allergic to doing anything interesting or creative with the premise he's decided to base a whole comic around. I genuinely do not know what people enjoy(ed) about this comic.

[canmom]

brain operating notes

the thing with ADHD is that it's super paradoxical. I've spent the last 72 hours or so doing almost nothing but making minute tweaks to this fansub, stuff like hand tracking signs in perspective at 800% zoom. it's the 'hyperfocus', and it can feel like a superpower. only the thing is I have no control over when it kicks in and what it chooses to focus on.

I had work to be done on Friday, work I enjoy and is novel and interesting, but this fansub project just jumped into my brain and took over the wheel and said 'you will not do anything else until this is finished'.

this is why the notion of 'executive function' is useful. I think of it like a unifying thing required to both get myself to do a thing that is not particularly novel or engaging in this moment, and to stop myself doing a thing that engages the hyperfocus because I have to eat or whatever. this feels like a finite resource, that gradually replenishes over time.

of course we're all in metaphor here. I don't actually think there's a finite reserve of some substance that I can use to get me to do things that aren't immediately stimulating. but being equipped with this metaphor lets me think of it like... ok, I will let my brain just do its thing and ride the rollercoaster now, so that I can have the wherewithal to do (difficult but important thing) down the line. or, I've been really pushing myself to do stuff recently, I need to take some time to recover the reserves. how good is this model? i'm not sure. probably not great, but it is a model.

anyway things that trigger hyperfocus are a bit arbitrary but common features tend to be...

novel: a thing that I haven't done before is intrinsically exciting - as long as I have some idea of how to get going. in my previous job I'd find excuses to do stuff like 'animate in Blender' or 'hack the graph drawing tool' just to add a bit of spice to rote tasks. thankfully my current job is full of new exciting things.

a steady drip feed of small successes: a big, daunting task is hard to get started on. something that has a clear avenue for recognisable, steady progress is a lot more manageable. 'write the animation controller' is unclear. 'make another animation' feels like progress, and I know where I'm at with it, so I will tend to choose that one given the option.

urgent: if the deadline is imminent and there really is no other option but to crack on with it, the anxiety gives a force multiplier on executive function. which results in a lot of procrastination leading up to mad last minute crunch. it's a pattern that I hate, not least because it's hard to say how long anything will actually take, but is hard to shake.

social: if it is for the benefit of a friend, or I get to show off a bit, it is way easier to get going with it. is it because I am kinda lonely and any time someone wants to spend time with me it feels like I dare not refuse because who knows when they will again? is it because I love to be praised for doing an impressive thing? idk maybe. however this is double-edged because if I feel I'm making something unimpressive I will be motivated to try and make it bigger and more complex, dragging things out, which might lead to not finishing the thing at all.

you can probably kind of see how computer games are a bit of a cognitohazard. especially open-ended games that don't have a finite built-in endpoint. I've gotten better at managing that now.

there are degrees of hyperfocus. there is the maxed out 'I will not eat or sleep until I finish this' mode. there is also the 'I have a new obsession' mode, which is a bit less intense.

the other thing with hyperfocus is that it is time-limited. at some point you just burn out on it and after that it's really hard to jump back into a thing. the unfinished projects on my hard drive are in most cases things I went nuts over for a few weeks and then dropped like a hot stone. this sucks because making anything worthwhile requires sustained effort over a long period.

I've been trying meds but so far no luck. they've currently got me off the meds taking baseline measurements while they figure out what to try next. though apparently the dose of dexamfetamine they had me on is like... so low that it's not surprising I didn't feel it.

gonna have to ask them about it next time I see them. because right now this whole thing feels like a bit of a mean joke. I'm staying in London for the sake of meds that could help, because it would take upwards of a year to get into another clinic, but what's the point if they're not even giving the meds a real shot?

but if there is any chance I can get working meds, I've got to try for it, because I don't think I'll ever achieve much of anything within the limitations of adhd, at least not without finding some new mechanisms to keep me on track. (though 'if I don't do this I might lose my job/the game won't be as good as it could be' works a bit as an extrinsic motivator)

[agentlove]

for the warriors ask game :D

🗺 : first map you ever watched?

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched?

(I used to watch MAPs religiously those are my jam)

yay thank you! warriors ask game except the questions are all weird and niche as hell!

know: my memory is bad. i've been into wc for... well over a decade now, so these are probably not accurate xP my first warriors video was i believe a spoof video about ashfur and squirrelflight, but my first map and amv? uhhh unsure!

🗺 : first map you ever watched? - i didn't actively watch maps as a small kid, or at least i don't think i did? the first map that i entirely remember watching was during my second major warriors phase by the time i was closer to... 15 maybe?? as opposed to my earliest memories of wc which are from when i was 10 or younger lol. little fang, which is making me genuinely super misty eyed to rewatch, it's just so so good, from the style to the designs to how well it gets into jayfeather and his family with only animation and music, the composition of every part is so good, the designs, all of it. the sole reason little fang is one of my favorite songs to this day it might, miiight, have also been evelyn evelyn? that one was certainly one of the first maps i ever watched that stuck with me. the dovewing kinnie has entered chat

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched? - i cannot remember. i watched sooo many amvs as a kid. not my FIRST amv, probably, but one of the earliest i recall is ashfur's revenge, which is delighting me so much to rewatch. this one was formative for me, i miss the style of flash-animated warriors amvs that (obviously:() aren't around anymore. i also have such a soft spot for tigerclaw is not one of thunderclan, one i was thinking about the Entire Time i was writing the exile scene in spottedfur's pride lol. i still love it so much, this is my first time rewatching it in like... a decade, im sure. its so good. im kind of blown away as i rewatch these that they ARE as good as they are, cuz i feel like it's common in the warriors fandom to treat old amvs as some cringeworthy lost art (in general i have strong opinions on how (unintentionally)cruel the internet starts being to things as soon as they enter "nostalgia" territory) - but there's still, like, genuine talent in these. there's a reason these amvs were as popular as they were, and not because we were all cringe 10 year olds who didn't know better, lol. also reminds me of tigerstar and the dog pack(be prepared) - which is one i have the most vivid memory of watching on my family computer, hehe. in general i love corvus katana's stuff, past and current oh my god i will never get this ask posted because i keep remembering ones that helped, like, form a lobe of my brain growing up. HOW TO SAVE BLUESTAR'S LIFE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!! I AM TOTALLY NOT CRYING REWATCHING IT. YOU ARE. YOU ARE. cant believe i had a phase where i hated bluestar - i think everyone did because they spontaneously realized she was imperfect, immoral even at times, and made mistakes but hadn't developed the media comprehension to realize she was... actually meant to be complex and troubled and not just a perfect leader. god. bluestar. god. god. g (im also gonna use this question as a chance to gush about old amvs that i remember that are unfortunately lost to time: a hollyleaf one to hurricane by thirty seconds to mars (!!!! THIS ONE WAS SO FORMATIVE BUT IM LIKE 80% SURE ITS LOST MEDIA), bluestar heart heart head (PLEASE tell me im not the only one who remembers this one!!! i was devastated to learn it wasn't iconic or reuploaded anywhere (as much as i also think, again, in the nostalgia-sense, people act entitled to things like old amvs or people's art or whatever else)), NIGHTCLOUD GIRL WITH ONE EYE CHANGED MY LIFE?and... probably more of course that aren't coming to me now xP

i. didnt expect to ramble as much as i did with this? i just can't put into enough words how formative warriors amvs and the like were for me growing up :'DD they were my major start for digital art and animation (something i did a lot when i was younger but fell out of over time, but god i'd love to animate again, maybe do a classic wc amv to spottedfur's pride or something lol)

thank you for the question! I am so incredibly normal about warrior cats.

[imuybemovoko]

so I made a language where the consonants have daily pileups and the noun cases hate you

H̵̫̰̤̝̣̥̻͍̘̱̰͎̭̅̏̽̃͐̃̊͂̐̕͜͜͝ẽ̴̖̾r̶̨̯͌ę̷̨̛̛͎͔̰͓̹̠̣̦̝̻̞͔͇̔̈́͒̆̆́̆̽͘͝͠ ̵̛͍̞̲͔̺͓̗̞͉̘̻͆̏̽̄w̷̡̧͚̠̟͉̳͇̼̯͗͂̾̄͝ë̸͍̹̟̬̩̗̹̼̩͇͇͈̇͌̂͆̒̃̕̚͘ ̸̳̫͍̖̙̬̮̫͚̻͙̱̲̍̈́͋͌̑͑g̵̛̪̼̻͔̜̮͑̈̓͐̋̊̏̄̒͊̚ǫ̶̡͕̗͕͕͍̟̯̞͇̂͊̈́̓̀͗̃̎ ̶̢̛̠̦̣̝̩̖͎͈͚͊̒̄̌̒̃̀͊͂̍͊̽̈́ͅą̸̛̣̳̫̣̱̫̘̔̏̈̒͠͠͠g̸̢̡̖̟̝̠̲̤̙̣̳̣͓̰̃̒a̶̛̛̬͛͆͒̀̃̾̇̐̈́͒͌̋i̵̝͚̩͍̤͚͐̍́͐̀̆͑̔͌̽͗̚͠͠͝ň̶̢̡̛͙͎̿͒̍̔̐̕͠͝!̷̙͓͓̭͖̝̔̍̀̍̍̑̿̍̈́̏͌̓́

Want your brain cells boiled? you've come to the right spot, because same apparently.

This post is about my latest linguistic creation, Câynqasang [ˈt͡sɐːjɴasaŋ]. It's an isolate, set in a fictional distant future near the outer edge of the Milky Way. This one comes with an in-universe linguistic fringe theory linking it to Scots of all things and trying (very falsely) to frame Old English as Proto-Milky-Way. That theory is bullshit, but the language does in fact happen to have a few dozen loan words from English, which has been kept around for diplomacy across all the millennia somehow.

Yeah. It's weird. Also, as much as I have and will shitpost about it, I'm super proud of this one. It's efficient in ways English isn't, and clunky as fuck in other ways English isn't. It's got all kinds of weird irregularities. There's loads of stuff I have to work around a little bit to translate directly, and a lot of beautiful metaphorical extensions and derivational morphology and so on. I really like this one. Though it can sure be obnoxious to use, as accustomed to not-this as my brain is. One of these days I might fuck around and learn it to fluency. One of these days.

Let's get into this.

PHONOLOGY

Yeah.

So if you're familiar with this kind of stuff, you might've caught that the first phonotactic rule means that any combination of consonants is allowed in the onset of initial syllables. This is not consistent across all speakers, in fact being one of the major sites of dialectical variation in Câynqasang, but it does mean that many speakers have, for just one of the wilder examples, ngsa [ŋsa] as the third-person paucal and second-person singular forms of the causative auxiliary verb. Many speakers shift nasal or liquid initials to syllabic consonants, i.e. in this case, ngsa [ŋ̍ˈsa], but that's a dialect thing and not within the main scope of what I'm covering here (though my recordings will likely have many of these realized as syllabic consonants). Also, this doesn't really happen with /j/, which just becomes the vowel /i/ in those situations.

Aside from that, the only properly wild things are the uvular nasal with this small of a consonant inventory and the absence of labial stops other than as allophones of /v/ before the voiceless alveolar stops and affricates. The rest of what's going on is some stress variations and palatalization, basically.

I'll spare an analysis of Câynqasang's phonological evolution here, but suffice it to say that the syllable structure has become far more complex, and that *q, *h, and the old central vowels give rise to considerable irregularity in some grammatical structures by the modern language, ca. 52: 8639. So expect some surprises. For one example of that happening in a noun, the word so means "hard vacuum". (Culture is spacefaring and has been for actual geological timespans, so it's an old, common term.) Because of various sound changes, this comes from *seqɞ; e was lost because short vowels before a stressed syllable are usually lost, short ɞ became o, q was lost, and so on. But this one gets weird with any suffix. Take for example what happens when the instrumental case is applied. In the protolang it would be *seqɞ *seqɞbuj, but through the same set of sound changes, the instrumental case form in the modern language is semuy [��eˈmɔj]. The vowel, and in this case thanks to the palatalization, the consonant as well, mutates. Another result of all this is visible in a derived term, using an affix whose meaning I'll descrive as ḻ̷̍i̴̼͛v̵̭̓ḭ̸͌n̶͙͂g̴̹͂, sehîng [ʃexɪːŋ] "dangerous extradimensional entity". In this case *q surfaces as /x/ because it was between two vowels and *o was lost. Suffice it to say that what I'm going to outline later as the grammar is kind of just the "regular" rules, and some crazy shit goes down in some roots including this one.

ORTHOGRAPHY

Câynqasang has two writing systems in modern use. For the purposes of this post, I'll be focusing primarily on the Latin alphabet system; someday I will make a follow-up post about the other system, which is in declining usage in-universe.

In both cases, most relevant today in the Latin alphabet, Câynqasang shows some considerable historical spelling, mostly resulting from the palatal series and central vowels in the protolanguage, though there are some other quirks that will quickly become visible in examples. I'll list the "regular" rules and then explain exceptions.

Modern Câynqasang uses the circumflex accent to mark long vowels. There aren't really exceptions to that. Anything with a circumflex means the vowel is long.

The regular forms are as follows:

/m n ŋ ɴ t k d s~ʃ x ɣ v t͡s~t͡ʃ l j r i iː e eː o oː a aː/ <m n ng nq t k d s h g v c l y r i î e ê o ô a â>

However, long /iː/ is sometimes also written <û>, and short <u> and <o> appear for short /o/ in fairly similar proportions regardless of stress.

Also, when /v/ surfaces as [p] before alveolar stops, it is often (not always) written <p>.

/ŋ/ sometimes is written as <ny>.

On rare occasions, /m/ is written <b>, but this is falling out of use.

Sometimes ɴ is written <mq>.

Also, in some environments where a historical voiced fricative has been lost neighboring a nasal, the former fricative is still present in writing, i.e. sumga [suˈma] "hormone" .

So that's pretty rad. Now let's get even wackier with it.

GRAMMAR

Main word order is subject verb object, with descriptors typically following what they modify aside from converb clauses, which vary in position. Articles precede the noun. Auxiliary verbs precede the lexical verb and carry TAM and person marking, while main verbs are marked with a participle. Relative clauses are marked using a pronoun.

NOUNS

Câynqasang nouns mark for singular, paucal, and plural number and take seven cases. Here's a table of the regular forms:

The plural dative is either -h or -o depending on the presence of a final consonant in the root, or -ho in some nouns with final nasals or approximants or in some short vowel only roots. The paucal allative and genitive and plural genitive change considerably depending on where the stress falls in the root. If the root is all short vowels they'll take that -CV form because of the final stress, and the final vowel in the root will typically be lost; if there's a final long vowel it's just going to be the consonant.

It's also worth explaining some details about how each of these cases works; there's a bit of weird variance with them in addition to the fact that all of them sometimes appear marking the subject of the sentence.

The nominative is the unmarked case, common in both subject and object. It might make more sense to call it something like nominative/absolutive for that reason; there isn't really an accusative. Examples: i ongdo = the seed; yi ongdoho = these several seeds; nê ongdohê = these (many) seeds

The vocative is typically a way of calling out to something or someone like "O gods" and so on, or indicating that something is addressed to something or someone. In these uses, an article differentiates between such cases, i.e. Rayelto = "Hey, Rayel" vs. i tarto = "Addressed to this summit". The latter use is far more common in situations like correspondence or formal speech. Additionally, it's used as part of a naming convention for spacecraft and similar vehicles, i.e. i Galcît, a name referencing the galcî, a sort of balloonlike plant that hovers in the sky like a hot air balloon in large clusters for most of its life and is native to one of the three life-bearing worlds in the system where the language is spoken, known locally as Ulîtu. Additionally, the vocative case is used in imperatives where no other case marking is present on the subject, i.e. îlto kaylisûl i amdî! = 2S.VOC explain-2S DEF.SPEC 3S "Explain this!" (In the formal register, this same phrase would appear as îlto nîlvîn kaylsetadêv i amdî!; the auxiliary verb is not mandatory here in the informal register.)

The allative is a prepositional case referring to motion towards or into something or, especially if less permanent i.e. not referring to landforms, anatomy, and so on, location at something. Examples: ve tongin dênysumin = DEF.NSPEC transformation-ALL beautiful-ALL "towards a beautiful transformation"; Vo nrêdti ômdrây îdêv i Hîvin-ôyvêltêvusin = INDEF.NSPEC war-ABL NEG.HAB.3S live-PTCP DEF.SPEC city-ALL unbreakable-ALL "No war lives in Ba Sing Se" (lit: "the unbreakable city"; I tried to calque it). The allative case is additionally used as a subject marking for motion away from the "object" of the sentence (it's funky, but that's how it operates syntactically) in motion verbs and for negative volition in stative and action verbs. Examples: îlin nîlvîn cudêv! = 2S.ALL IMP.2S go-PTCP "Go away (from me)!"; mon mtâmtûlvu mka = 1S.ALL cut-PST.1S 1S.DAT "I have accidentally cut myself". (mtâm- "to cut" here is a stative verb, by the way. That's why the second pronoun here takes the dative. The dative is not necessary in the informal register here, and sometimes poetic registers that otherwise lean into formal speech will play fast and loose with this. Also, this kind of thing is the proper way to construct reflexives for stative verbs.)

The genitive is most often used as a possessive, i.e. lâmhu mol = leg 1S.GEN "my leg". However, it's also the main way of constructing reflexives for action and sensory verbs, i.e. sro mândengsa = 3Pa.GEN blame-3Pa "they (several) blame themselves".

The dative case is most often used for indirect objects, i.e. cdânyvu nâ lâh amdûk = give-1S DEF.NSPEC.P bread 3S.DAT "I gave some loaves of bread to them". It is additionally used to mark the subject of sensory verbs when the sensation is "passively" taken in as opposed to if someone is "actively" looking for something, i.e. mka sîtûlvu ven sedon = 1S.DAT see-PST.1S INDEF.SPEC spacesuit "I happened to see a spacesuit".

The ablative case is a prepositional referring to motion out of or away from something, sometimes to a more static presence outside of something. It can also refer to the source of something. Example: mon cumo Anqêsyat = 1S.ALL go-1S Anqêsya-ABL "I am leaving from Anqêsya (a city)". Additionally, the ablative case can mark the subject of a motion verb to show motion towards something, i.e. mti kenymo = 1S.ABL come-1S "I am coming".

The instrumental case indicates benefiting from, using, or accompanying something or someone, i.e. mon cûlvu Ancimoy = 1S.ALL go-PST.1S Anci-INS "I left with Anci". The instrumental also marks the subjects of stative and action verbs to show "positive" volition, i.e. the intent to do something, and sensory verbs to show that the sensation was actively sought, i.e. moy sîtûlvu i sedon = 1S.INS see-PST.1S DEF.SPEC spacesuit "I found the spacesuit", sîm lamnyutûsa mka = 3Pa.INS calm-3Pa 1S.DAT "they (several) took steps to calm me".

So that's noun cases, and a window into something I'll discuss again in more specific detail later that verbs do. Subject marking is wild.

Let's move on to the articles you'll doubtless have noticed by now. They're kinda funky.

So, they agree in number to the noun they're attached to. There's a definite and an indefinite.

And a specific vs. non-specific distinction that applies to both.

From top to bottom, indefinite-specific refers to a defined object or set of objects but it's not clear which one, i.e. ven cnguy = INDEF.SPEC bird "a bird". It's not unlike the English indefinite article. Definite-specific refers to a defined and clearly specified object or set of objects, i.e. i râkum = DEF.SPEC tree "the(/this/that) tree". It carries the senses of the English definite article, but also a couple of other determiners. But unlike English determiners it can't stand alone, so if no noun is specified then a pronoun must be included, i.e. i amdî = DEF.SPEC 3S "this/that". Indefinite-nonspecific refers to an indefinite object without subset or other context, not unlike the English term "any", but again it must refer attach to something in the way an article does, i.e. vo hâptôuy = INDEF.NSPEC person "anyone". Definite-nonspecific refers to any member or members of a defined subset of objects, i.e. ve vênyay = DEF.NSPEC laser.rifle "one of these laser rifles. English doesn't have a single term for this, but "one of these" is a solid direct translation. And in this case, though it's defining a subset of many items, the noun must be singular, unless the article is paucal plural in which case you're referring to more than one of a subset. The noun would then agree to the article.

Also, here's a quick table of all the personal pronouns.

It's rare in the modern language that the allative case pronouns are used in the same capacity as the old accusative case, but some older speakers will do this in relative clauses and converb clauses with objects and so on. This can also be a more common feature in some dialects. Also, Câynqasang lacks gendered pronouns.

ADJECTIVES

Adjectives are relatively simple. They follow what they modify and agree in case and number if it's a noun, i.e. Ôdamoy ôtahiraymoy vuynomraymoy nola = mandate-INS self.destructive-INS cursed-INS 2P.GEN "By way of your accursed mandate"

Alright. Let's see what other madness this language has to offer.

VERBS

First I'll cover what you can do without needing an auxiliary verb. You can do imperfective, past, present, and future without an auxiliary verb, and there is a paradigm for person-marking, agreeing in person and number, singular, paucal, and plural, to the subject.

The imperfective was marked in the protolanguage by reduplication of the first syllable of the verb stem. However, sound changes have in some cases severely obscured that relationship over time, and it's rather common that a random vowel will appear in the reduplication that isn't present in the perfective stem anymore, i.e. mco- to rot > mamco-. Often, not always but often, that same vowel will be retained when the verb takes an ending, i.e. masvâv = rot-2Pa "y'all (several) rot".

Here are the endings for person marking including simple past and future. Bear in mind that I include two of each category, but the endings are the same; this is mostly to remind myself that the imperfective exists and is reduplicative. I make these posts with screenshots of my own kind of messy documentation.

Again, some of them change with the stress patterns. The alternation between m and v in the first-person singular is because it was *b in the protolanguage, and what the modern reflex is changes based on stress patterns in the same way as the vowel does, becoming /m/ in stressed syllables and /v/ elsewhere.

For everything else, you need auxiliary verbs.

I'm going to share the sum total of those in the form of several tables, one set for the formal register and one set for the informal register.

These are the formal register auxiliary verbs. Notice how the other forms have compounded or juxtaposed with the passive and negative auxiliaries. Most of these forms have by now lost other semantic meanings entirely and serve only as these auxiliaries.

Here are the informal register ones:

In these, the ones that were juxtaposed are blended together instead and many of them have eroded away some syllables, so that just about all of the informal register ones are disyllabic at most.

When these are used, the lexical verb is marked with participles. I'll include the table I have in my documentation that has the formal and informal register forms of these side by side:

Notice again that a syllable tends to be eroded in the informal register. This notably does not happen in converbs even in the informal register, even though the participles serve double duty as-is for three of them. Anyway, that's participles.

So, with all of that information, we can finally construct a sentence using other TAM than just simple past, simple present, and imperfective. The imperfective, by the way, still marks on the lexical verb when these are used. Example: ômdîn agaltîl nê cêh = NEG.3S IPFV-eat-PTCP.PST DEF.SPEC.P 3P "They should not have been eating those"

We also have to touch on the four classes of verbs, though. This is what determines how those subject case-marking paradigms I was discussing earlier operate. These classes don't strictly follow what you'd expect, both because Câynqasang just handles some concepts differently and because semantic drift makes them funky sometimes. For one example, tkâranco- "to sabotage" seems like it should be an action verb, but it's a sensory verb, because it meant "to deceive" in the proto language. That's one of the wilder ones.

Stative verbs deal with states of being. Their subjects take the nominative case, the vocative in imperatives where the others aren't present, and for volition marking, the instrumental to mark a willing subject and the allative to mark an unwilling one.

Verbs of motion deal with motion, either physical or in some cases, metaphorical. Their subjects take the ablative for motion towards the object or destination, the allative for motion away from the object or destination, the nominative for unclear direction or motion that doesn't change distance, and the vocative for imperatives that would otherwise be nominative.

Sensory verbs are the only verb class that can't take a nominative subject. They take the dative case for passive perception, the instrumental case for intentional perception (so a slightly different volition paradigm than for statives), the genitive case for reflexives, and (sometimes) the vocative for imperatives. The vocative is in somewhat less common use in the modern time.

The class of action verbs contains all other verbs. They take the allative to mark unwilling subjects, the instrumental to mark willing subjects, the nominative when volition can be assumed from context, the genitive for reflexives, and the vocative in some imperatives.

These categories are something a learner would mostly just have to memorize. Like, there are some vague patterns you can pick up from semantics, but they're very far from consistent and it doesn't work the same way you'd think it would in English.

One last little footnote before we move on to converbs, to negate something other than a verb, simply use the stem form of the negative auxiliary following it.

Alrighty.

CONVERBS

I'm not incredibly familiar with the typical nomenclature for these, so I list their etymologies and meanings to the left of the table here:

Converb clauses most often precede the main verb phrase. If a converb is used, also, a separate participle need not be if the clause involves an auxiliary verb. They are derived from participles.

Example: Ye i côl sanqe kamesîtêl, yâkînghê ola lamnyunqicêh = And DEF.SPEC 3P.GEN PERF.3P happen-CONV.GEN.P soul-P 1P.GEN peaceful-FUT.3P "And having felt all of these things come to pass, our souls will know peace".

So those are pretty rad.

RELATIVE CLAUSES AND INTERROGATIVES

Relative clauses are constructed with the relative pronoun (below) and, where relevant, an interrogative.

Relative clauses can either precede or follow the main clause, but in either case the relative pronoun agrees to the subject of the clause in number. Also, when they involve an interrogative (below), it precedes the relative pronoun.

Example: gôv nâs sâyin nola cîldîsang rircâmtatîl, ang onqûnqinqa ven nymûm sunyul. = where REL dust-ALL 2P.GEN PASS.PERF.2P IPFV-imprison-PTCP.PST 1P.INS build-FUT.1P INDEF.SPEC meeting.place love.GEN "where your ashes have been imprisoned, there we will build a meeting place of love."

Questions are constructed with one of these interrogatives immediately preceding the verb or, if the question is related to the nature of the subject or object, in subject or object position. Examples: galtûlûl kay? = eat-PST.2S which.P "Which ones did you eat?";

IMPERATIVES

Imperatives are constructed somewhat differently in the formal register than in the informal, in at least some cases. The subject of the sentence often takes the vocative case, but where other subject case marking is present, it can be omitted. If the vocative is present, in the informal register the imperative auxiliary verb is not required; in the formal register, the auxiliary verb is always mandatory. Here I give three examples assembled from elsewhere in this post, first one using an allative subject, then the same sentence in the informal and then formal registers:

îlin nîlvîn cudêv! = 2S.ALL IMP.2S go-PTCP "Go away (from me)!"

îlto kaylisûl i amdî! = 2S.VOC explain-2S DEF.SPEC 3S "Explain this!" îlto nîlvîn kaylsetadêv i amdî! = 2S.VOC IMP.2S explain-PTCP DEF.SPEC 3S "Explain this!"

That's just about it for grammar. Now for a brief discussion of derivational strategies.

DERIVATION

Most derivation involves a set of suffixes, most of which a screenshot will sufficiently explain, but I'll go into more detail about a couple of these.

The profession derivational produces a set of nouns which in the formal register double-mark number, i.e. sînqangâtmoy = pilot.INS, sînqangârmang = pilot.INS.P and in the informal register have an entirely separate paradigm derived not from the regular one but from the historical imperative, present in the protolanguage but no longer functional. In the informal register all noun cases will attach to these nouns in the singular form, i.e. sînqangât "pilot" but sînqangârmoy = pilot.INS.P

That -îng(i) suffix often has fairly abstract meanings, though it can very much function as simply making a term for a plant or animal. From the same suffix you get such things as nâlkîngi "rabbit" from nâlk- "to flee" galîng "dissociative state" from gla- "to sleep", kalîng "waterfall" from kali "water", râkmîngi "the mood or atmosphere of a remote, dense forest" from râkum "tree", teyresnîng "a type of extradimensional entity that operates by ensnaring victims' minds and molding them to its will" from teyrsin- "to be uncertain", and so on. It can get fairly wild.

The suffix -uy can also create a term for a plant or animal, as in cnguy "bird" from cong "air", though it typically ends up as a type of person.

So that, in a nutshell, is Câynqasang. I'm still developing it, but nearly all of that work anymore is happening in the lexicon. I'm really proud of this one. As always, I'll wrap this up with a couple of fun translations. And, this time, also a rather long original work in Câynqasang.

TRANSLATIONS

Cave Johnson rant:

Nre dês sanqe cîl ngûyinytinyutêv ûyûngamang nûlul gônîngudêv: cdânyvu hâyrunîhê mûlîhê ye vâyâhê [nre dɛːʃ saˈɴe t͡ʃɪːl ˈŋɪːjiŋtiŋuteːv ˈɪːjiːŋamaŋ ˈnɪːlul ɣɔːniːŋudeːv ˈt͡sdɐːŋvu ˈxɐːjruniːxeː ˈmɪːliːheː je vɐːjaːxeː]

2P.VOC REL.P 3S.PERF PASS.3P inject-CONV.PURP DNA-INS.P mantis-GEN.P volunteer-PTCP.PST | give-1S message-P good-P and bad-P

"To you all who have volunteered to be injected with the DNA of mantises: I give good and bad messages." I vâyâ: ang cingvûnenqa sînin ôykîvringtatîlin nê ûngsânê [i ˈvɐːjaː ɐŋ t͡ʃiŋˈvɪːneɴa ˈʃɪːnin ˈɔːjkiːvriŋtatiːlin neː ˈɪːŋsaːneː]

DEF.SPEC bad | 1P.INS delay-1P day-ALL unknown-ALL DEF.SPEC experiment-P

"The bad: We delay those experiments until an unknown date." I mûlî: nyuenqa ven ûngsâny mûlu mûlu; hînûnqinsa ven lvêng nûl-hâptôuymang [i ˈmɪːliː ŋueˈɴa vɛn ˈɪːŋsaːŋ ˈmɪːlu ˈmɪːlu | ˈxɪːniːɴinsa vɛn lvɛːŋ nɪːl ˈxɐːptoːujmaŋ]

DEF.SPEC good | have-1P INDEF.SPEC test better REDUP | fight-2P.FUT INDEF.SPEC army mantis-mantis-P

"The good: We have a much better test; you will fight an army of mantis people." Ngasvîn ûmqemdêv ven înîv ye mîdêv i tânyôy sîm. [ŋasˈvɪːn ˈɪːɴemdeːv vɛn ɪːniːv je ˈmɪːdeːv i ˈtɐːŋoːj ʃɪːm]

IMP.2P carry-PTCP INDEF.SPEC rifle and follow-PTCP DEF.SPEC line yellow

"Take one of these rifles and follow the yellow line." No mgnônqinsa nâs gî i ûngsâny nyamnyumdî. [no ˈmŋɔːɴinsa nɐːs ɣiː ˈɪːŋsaːŋ ŋamŋumˈdiː]

2P.DAT know-2P.FUT REL when DEF.SPEC experiment start-3S

"You will know (without seeking) when the experiment starts."

Recording of the above. It's kinda mid tier but it'll work.

Partial translation of the Ea-Nasir complaint tablet:

And a link to an original work. It's long as fuck, so putting it directly in this post would feel a bit ridiculous.

Anyway, I really did do the thing, didn't I.

Cheers!

[mdhwrites]

Are Belle and Wise Special? HSR vs ZZZ's Main Characters

TL:DR: I think people have had the buzzword of "Chosen One" and the like hammered into their brains so often that it's bad without anyone explaining that the trope itself isn't bad. It's the lazy expediting and simplification of the work that comes with lazy use of the trope that people actually have a problem with. In this regard... Belle and Wise are WAY worse than Stelle and Caelus ever were and are about as special as the people with literal god blessed bombs in their chests, just on a scale that is more appropriate for their setting.

This is kind of in response to someone telling me that they adored Belle and Wise for being normal people who ran a Blockbusters. That they weren't chosen ones, super special, etc. like that but is bluntly not true... But I also don't care. I think WAY too many people are aggro about chosen one tropes because they have been told it's a trope to hate on sight. The thing is that chosen ones aren't bad for being chosen, they're bad for being given preferential treatment by the narrative and its characters above and beyond what would be expected of a main character. These elements rob complexity and satisfying storytelling from the narrative and so cheapen all elements that require this effort to be enjoyable.

In this regard... No, Belle and Wise are WAY more treated like chosen ones than Stelle and Caelus are. I'm going to go by a couple metrics for trying to showcase this rather than try to start by describing one duo in its entirety before then going to the other. Here are the normal axis in which narrative preference is given:

1: Do characters show them kindness above and beyond what is earned?

2: Do they have powers and abilities that are above and beyond what is earned?

3: Are they given clout and access beyond what is earned?

A running theme of all three is essentially just the normal sorts of axis that any normal person has to be challenged on in normal society. Do you make proper connections with other people? Do you earn your talents? And do you earn access to spaces that normally only the privileged are allowed into?

1: Kindness

It's really telling that the second my brother heard Wise speak, he immediately went "I've heard this guy as like a half a dozen isekai protagonists." People flirt with Wise. It's one of Ellen's worst traits because this closed off girl IMMEDIATELY is into you and most of her trust events are about being into you.

Now admittedly, this is not entirely a character thing but part of ZZZ's tonal priorities. It wants everyone to be your partner/best friend and so EVERYONE comes onto you to some extent. There is no one who is just casual buddies with you... But also why isn't there anyone like that? Why does Soldier 11 call you out for wanting to know her relationship status when she seems like someone who probably never even thinks of romance? Phaethon, either one, are much closer to being treated as general gacha protagonists in this way in that everyone who meets you who isn't a grade A douchebag is immediately real into you.

For HSR, this isn't true and I think it's most indicative of their version of trust events: People showing up on the train. They talk about their lives, their ambitions or about other members of the train. Very few are there for you. They are living their lives and the same goes for meeting them on their individual planets. You're a friend but you're not really more than that. Of course, plenty of people do still do the "Something makes me trust you," sort of stuff that's ALWAYS awkward in stuff like this but it feels more like it's so during their companion quests they can properly portray all sides of themselves rather than it being "Man, I took one look at you and DAMN!"

The closest to an argument against this is Firefly. One might argue us being given a place on the Express but it's explicitly what the Nameless do. They accept anyone who wants to come on board and yeah, Himeko likes the cut of your jib. Firefly genuinely has a severe interest in you from go... Except also no. Our backstory includes having been, in some way, a part of the same organization as Firefly. Of being a Stellaron Hunter. This is why both her and Kafka give us preferential treatment because, as Blade said, we are one of the longest running coworkers of Kafka's which inherently makes us one of the people who has spent the most time with Firefly and we don't know what our relationship with her before our amnesia was. It's one of those tricks that HSR pulls with us being special, having our amnesia, that deepens the narrative.

2: Powers

Caelus is actually really fucking weak. Like amongst the express, he MAYBE beats March or Dan Heng once he has more forms but until then? All he is is a good swing. There's a reason we've lost the vast majority of our fights and have to get bailed out during a cutscene. When we do get wins that no one steals, it's a group effort and takes EVERYTHING we have, like with Cocolia and Sunday. In both of them, it takes everyone doing everything they can just to eek out a win.

Now whether our powers are earned or not is more questionable but it works thematically so far. We get our Harmony powers from harmonizing with an old trailblazer and standing up against that which would destroy the Harmony. We get our Preservation powers as a last stand from a world always guarded by Qlipoth against a force that wants to erase all there was before for the sake of their new world order. Not only that but we get the power because we are willing to fight to our last breath trying to preserve the fire that is within Belobog. We earn that transformation not when we take the spike to the chest but when we stand tall against Cocolia at all, despite the fact that the Engine of Creation is still on her side at that time and we are several magnitudes of fucked royal.

The HDD is a cheat. Phaethon doesn't seem actually that impressive as far as actual abilities go. I mean, one of the first things to happen to them is getting hacked. Good job guys. Tech is the one thing you all have and you're maybe not the best at it and that'd be okay if the game wasn't constantly telling us we'd been the absolute best of the best of the proxies for years? Not a short amount to put it bare minimum. We have had hints that we had a mentor who probably made the HDD and taught us to some extent but that they've also been gone for a long while. So... We're just good. The best by what everyone says but not because of Wise or Belle's ingenuity. They don't really have much in the way of answers or plans, especially ones that are theirs. They're just good at executing other people's, and especially Fairy's, plans.

Playing as Wise, I never feel like Phaethon because I know it's not me who is the key to all of this. Meanwhile, when I play as Caelus, I 100% believe I am the nutjob who claims to be the Galactic Baseballer and can back that up, even if it ends up with me getting my ass kicked.

3: Clout and Access

We can't prove we're Phaethon but are given the level of respect that we had back when we still had that account. Meanwhile, we ARE a member of the Astral Express and Himeko backs that claim up with proper legitimacy. One feels like the mechanical requirement of having a proxy level to grind up, in universe, which is purely mechanical while the trailblazing level in HSR is purely mechanical but also is never referenced in universe so it doesn't matter that it's only mechanical. That's kind of the long and short of it.

Why can Trailblazer meet with the heads of the Loufu? Well, because we are part of an organization that is deeply respected across the cosmos and just by being a member, we gain that credibility. Why can Phaethon name drop who he is and people believe him? *shrug* Your guess is as good as mine. It's not the biggest deal currently in ZZZ, a lot of people work with us even before knowing our name because of common goals, but like... Why does Belobog believe Nicole when she claims to know Phaethon and then not bother asking us for any sort of proof to that claim despite Phaethon being a big deal and we don't even have that name on Inter-Knot? It's expedient storytelling to make them not care but it also just raises the question of why.

And that base question is at the root for why people dislike chosen ones. So many of them evoke this question of why. What does the story gain by making this person special? Making them more than just an average joe? And a lot of lazy storytelling won't provide answers, or at least interesting answers, to that question. A LOOOOOOOOOT of isekai have the main character be Super Awesome McGee because holy decree is a lot easier to write than actual relationships. Actual politics. Stuff like that. Even something like Shield Hero is actually using it for the sake of expediting why everyone hates him. It's a shortcut and not much else.

HSR meanwhile shows the strength of that decision. Our backstory allows so much room for speculation that it lights the fandom on fire every time someone from our past interacts with us. Us having a Stellaron, something that is theoretically connected directly to an Aeon, explains why we have this deeper connection to the Paths that then lets us shift what path we're on and commune with the aeons themselves, even if briefly in those small interactions. It is subtle but on the flipside, we're not so special that it can't be subtle. Most people treat us like a normal person because we're not actually that special. There are special questions about us but the game never tries to sell us as more than we are and that actually lets us be far more human than I would argue Phaethon gets to.

Admittedly... Part of this comes down to preference. I think the Trailblazer has way more personality than Belle and Wise put together. We're a deranged lunatic, slightly more as Stelle. Belle is a nominally silly girl who's only real flaw is letting her room get dirty while Wise is an asexual robot made of cardboard and programmed with a light touch of snark. These are two of the most boring, normal, plain ass protagonists you can ever get and so them being Phaethon is kind of required to explain why anyone gives them the time of day because it's not their winning personalities.

But I think even if you find Belle and Wise attempting to be grounded more charming than "THE GALACTIC BASEBALLER!" that doesn't change that the narrative treats them as the main character more than HSR does. That they are special and not just regular people who happen to be good at a dangerous job. That describes a LOT of ZZZ's cast... But not the main characters. There's a reason why Random Play stands alone. No one is joining our faction anytime soon but the Express keeps its doors open to everyone, regular or not. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[ragnar0c]

Part 2 of comparing my EO ocs to my Mage Prophecies ocs

Tank and Tankei

The similarities in their names is purely a coincidence. Also Tankei is pronounced T-awn -KAY vs Tank just being said Tank. Plus... is Tank reaally his name? 🤨

Tankei was such a big supporting chara she could be elevated to main status. Subplots in most arcs focused on some aspect of her. And she was the fan fav.

She was an asshole, my favorite asshole whose reckless actions get the main girls in and out of trouble.

She needed to be watched bc when alone she was always misbehaving-- she hates authority, and she REALLY HATES injustice/unfairness.

Tankei melded so well with Mio bc she was the more real version of her. One that knew not everyone could be her friend bc she learned the hard way. And the reason why she is so harsh to Mio is because she never wants ANYONE to be like her. To be taken advantage of.

She has one of the absolute most DRAMATIC backstories ever. And it's one that shapes the plot.

If anyone has a more dramatic back story than Tankei it's probably Tank BAHAHAHA.

He is also a drunk asshole who has the be watched bc he misbehaves (thank you for watching Enid.....). But unlike Tankei. He's super... meticulous about what he does 🤨

His back story also leads a few subplots I have in mind. Actually maybe like 3. He was supposed to just be a side chara but the more I characterized him? He's actually so much more intelligent than Tankei when it comes to people. (I think). And his arc is sweet too. Yeah that guy is an asshole but I personally think he says so to trick people.

If they met: also at a bar. (They both use alcohol to turn off their brains).

They would beat the shit out of someone who was rude at the bar and vaguely remember each other afterwards.

He'd call her "chick" tho. Different than how he calls Alope and Hana kids... he'd definitely view her as more adult than those too bc he knows that she has seen very much.

Tank when Tankei calls him old man (he is tasting his own medicine)

Enid and Kai + Kiemi

Okay so Enid... Enid is one of my only EO ocs that embodies a few ocs rather than just 1. I have like 4 ocs that remind me of him. But narrowed it down to 2... the other 2 are more closely related to other EO ocs anyway.

Anyway Kai is another OC's son. Lady Micah's son!

I don't have comics of them interacting but it's. Oddly in character. Lady is the leader of a like police force, the specialized knights of the nation, the Royal Guardians. Kai is the highest ranking RG member. He is so ridiculously talented, powerful and awesome. But none of this stuff means anything to him bc his self esteem is soooooOoooo LOW.

Yeah. He can control gravity in a certain location. Yes he's a skilled swordsman. But what if hes faking that? ☹ he feels like an impostor...

He has all these achievements, but since he's so... insecure people dont know and view him as some average guy. Most don't even know he's rank 1. Which reinforces his inferiority complex.

Enid... Well when I rewrote chapter 1 I wanted to make it more obvious they were similar.

Like. You see Enid but not really?? Like. WHOA. That's a person. But... then you look at something else. They are the most vibrant in the room but surpress most of their personality. So people just view her as some guy.

Can't get into all Enid's problems bc Enid is a rare character who's backstory isn't super important. Maybe like 2 notes of it are. But other than that, all Enid is in the main story.

If they met: I think Enid would see Kai having a bad time and give him a pep-talk. Only to find out bro is basically capable of killing demigods and get SUPER PISSED OFF.

It's okay Enid. Post game, you can kill demigods too.

The other MP character is Kiemi.

Also one of the Royal Guardians. One who dedicated her whole life to the king. She represses her emotions like Enid too. Acting regal when shes really really upset that she's spent her life this way. Kiemi masks it and usually just tries to make sure no one feels like her. Giving confidence to everyone else and supporting them. (Including Kai)

She reminds me of young Enid. Before Enid became a monk they were unhappy in the same way Kiemi was.

If they met: ENID WOULD NOTICE HOW MESSED UP KIEMI'S QI IS. Kiemi's energy is so out of whack. They are repressing so much more than Enid.

They would talk and be good friends. Also if Enid ever lost confidence Kiemi would gas him up SO HARD.

Also! Kiemi and Kai are the main two who baby sit Tankei. So Enidcore. You know with Joe they babysit Tank. (Though... who is rlly being babysat between those two????)

That's it for this one!

I'll do more charas once I actually introduce them. :3!

[emailsquid]

ok spiderman p5 au thing that infests my brain is coming out

mostly based on ultimate spiderman and spiderverse since those are the 2 im super familiar with.

akira is spider-man obviously. after getting sent to tokyo because of the normal p5 reasons he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and gets the normal spider powers (proportional strength, spider sense, heightened agility), with the addition of being able to get a better read on people's thought process (i dont think spiders can actually do this but i wanted to reference the personas in some way) and induce a low level of delusion in other people, making them more likely to tell the truth with a spider toxin thing. you know the deal i can make shit up. hes initially unwilling to be spider-man until stuff really gets bad with kamoshida, and then is only willing to do it whilst disguised to avoid fucking up his criminal record even more. loves actually being spiderman tho.

sojiro is almost unchanged except stuff with wakaba is different but hes still gruff but comes to love akira in more or less the same way as in p5. hates when theres supervillain fights outside his cafe (oops)

ryuji learn's akira's secret immediately and encourages him to be a hero, partly bc he thinks its cool, partly because he thinks he has a responsibility to use his powers for justice of some kind, partly to get back at kamoshida for being a massive piece of shit. he stays akira's best friend throughout his time in tokyo and almost has his side.

ann is 2nd to learn akira's secret and also encourages him to fight kamoshida (im getting to him btw). She designs the suit as well and makes it with akira. she also wants akira to be a hero but is much more cautious and worried about things than ryuji

i have no idea what to do with morgana but im thinking hes gonna be another superhero, idk what tho. probably like a shapeshifter or something? more thought is required.

Kamoshidas like. a superhero who double times as a teacher, still an abusive shitbag but now hes like publically worshipped. hes akiras first big fight after akira spreads the truth about him with calling cards and gets him to admit to his crimes publically, at which point he has to run away in shame. partly i based him on kamoshidaman (although i dont actually know anything abt pq2 im just assuming) and also mysterio in far from home.

shiho is basically the same except ill bring her back into the story later for something. havent planned that far ahead. she will date ann tho.

most other characters i only have vague ideas for, such as makoto having an alive father (nothing bad could happen to a police captain father in a spider man story surely) and futaba developing tech for akira. its the only way i can think to get him webslingers tbh. for akechi i have something cooking as well but im writing a fic for this so i kinda dont wanna spoil that bc i think its cool. im trying my best to be accurate to the characters personalities ut akira will probably be more quippy than usual bc it just feels wrong for any spider man not to quip. so yeah. other than that i think he maps onto spider man pretty well tbh, hes got the public hate campaign, the saviour complex, the sense of justice, hes stylish and hes got a social life going on to manage at the same time. haru also has some specific stuff i wanna do with her.

also this is a marvel like au so other superheros exist but its an americacentric phenomenon however the phoenix ranger feathermen are real. idk what ill do with them but they are bc it felt wrong to only have like 2 superheros. there might be others too. idk. maybe its more of ust a superhero au with specific marvel ideas. wahtever.

if i had the time and skill to do art for this id love to do it in the style of the original p5 intro with limited colours other than red and black to white spectrum. it would look cool and set it apart visually. also it would look a bit like the guy she was intereted in which i love visually so yeah.

anyway yea this is a pretty specific crossover so cant wait for no-one to care but yea ill update this with more later

[dirtfrosting]

Do you have any drawing tips? I’ve been doing it all my life but I’ve been in a block recently. I haven’t quite found a drawing style that I like. How do you go about drawing anatomy?

ngl I was also in a block but then I found rhett hehehe

whoops im a yapper so I'll put it under the cut!

tldr: Kaycem vids, anatomy for artists drawing form & pose by tomfoxdraws, copy a little, draw a lot, use references, try a bunch of stuff, and have fun :D

-------

For style, I look at other artists that I admire and break down what specifically I like and try to do the same. Is it their line art, color scheme, composition, or their stylization? If its stylization, then is it the proportions, facial features, etc.? Its easy to say you like everything, but narrowing it down gives you something to focus on.

Yoinking one aspect from one artist prevents you from copying one person, but there's also more to style than what you like. I think Kaycem mentions this, but your art style is an amalgamation of the shortcuts you take. Some you learn from other artists, others you make on your own based on what you like to draw and what you know how to draw.

idk what im trying to say😭 My style woes come from a lack of technical and fundamental proficiency. Stuff looks wonky because the anatomy, proportions, or perspective is wrong. I can't always tell what's wrong, but it still looks wrong ya kno? So learning from other artists can give you a good starting point, but ultimately, your knowledge is the deciding factor

.....speaking of......

I like Kaycem's art bootcamp series on youtube. There's 30 videos, mostly around 2:30 hrs long. I watched them on 2x speed and drew along, pausing if needed. The vids are recorded livestreams, so there's some off-topic stuff, but I just use that time to catch up or skip past it. He has some edited versions, but not for all 30 days. Lowkey forgot everything, but my drawings at the time were some of my best imo! (i fell off 😔)

I also found anatomy for artists drawing form & pose by tomfoxdraws really helpful for understanding 3D form! (there's pdfs online if you know where to look👀) I read the text, copy the drawings, and apply what I learned.

I only got through the head section and haven't touched it in months 💀oops I definitely need to get back to it

Some of the stuff Kaycem mentions are also in tomfox's book, so its a nice introduction! I've also tried proko's anatomy vids but they're a little more complex. Sinx also has some good vids. EmilioDekure's videos are also helpful and he has a slightly simpler style if that's more your vibe. Just try a bunch of stuff and see what works!! The stuff you absorb will combine with stuff you like to create a style you can tweak as you learn and experiment.

(ngl I feel like the only anatomy I've kind of figured out is the upper arm 💀so I use references to fill figure out the rest)

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Sometimes I like studies bc you mostly copy stuff, but other times its soo draining. Trying to apply the knowledge can be especially frustrating so remember to take breaks to have fun!!

I loove drawing straight in pen, sometimes without construction lines at all. It trains you to be more intentional with your marks, but it's also super relaxing/meditative for me. I just copy what I see, which takes less brain power imo. It's not as helpful for learning form bc I'm only thinking in line. It is good for observational skills, though, which come in handy for copying refs when you can't figure out the anatomy teehee

(also i hate pencil smudges)

Like everyone always says: just gotta practice! The time will pass anyways!! Sometimes a drawing turns out good, then the very next one looks like garbage, but who cares! Enjoy the process! The next one will be better!!! Never stop drawing!!! Yippee!!!!