#I need to be in a different field
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ivan-fyodorovich-k Ā· 1 year ago
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these papers...
not good
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 1 year ago
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Unsolved Mysteries.
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sapphosclown Ā· 1 month ago
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ellie’s grief in the show is different than in the game because the show is on a new timeline.
ranty/rambly character analysis kinda idk
i keep seeing discourse ab this show and. i’m trying so hard not to care bc it’s all annoying to me lol but the one that keeps coming up is ellie wasn’t angry enough. but, the reason it feels that way and that maybe she’s ā€œhappierā€ in the show is because the timeline is different
in the game, joel dies, ellie is on her revenge path after a few days. in the show, ellie is physically hurt. she cannot go find anybody right now, she’s being held in the hospital while she recovers. also, she just lost the most important person in her life, she’s being kept under as much surveillance in that hospital as they can get. this whole process takes three months. that’s three months that ellie has already been actively grieving. all that rage is building inside her, probably venting in very strange ways as she’s being held up, but ultimately she’s trying to suppress it. why? she wants to leave, because she wants to fucking kill abby.
that’s why they make her talk to gail before she goes. that’s why she’s happy as a clam during the whole conversation. if you genuinely watched that and thought ā€œwtf why is she so okay right nowā€ i fear you were not the intended audience for this show. it’s been said over and over which is why it’s fascinating that people are still missing the whole point.
Ellie. Is. Lying.
She is lying to Everyone. she is fucking livid. she’s heartbroken, so much so that she’s numb. she’s coasting. the whole time she’s just coasting, waiting for the moment she explodes—the moment she finds abby.
that’s why you think she’s ā€œout of characterā€ā€”but she’s not. think about how she acted in season 1. she was silly and aloof and chatty and witty; and she was grieving. she had just lost her best friend and first crush and first kiss, the most important person in her life at that point had just died. but she put on that face. that goofy smile and stupid puns, that is the face she puts on while she grieves because she doesn’t want her devastation to be anyone else’s business. this is also interesting when you look at her behavior after the david situation, she is not herself. she’s fully dazed over and quiet. that was the tipping point for all this trauma that she just shut down. she couldn’t hide all of it anymore
you can also see it in the flashback episodes. she becomes more and more reserved (not necessarily angry, but certainly pulling away a lot) as she begins to really sort through truth and lies. that anger does come back until it has a reason to (eugene).
the timeline of ellie’s grief is so important because is shows that she has had ample time to put together a version of herself that works publicly. that falls apart when things start to get real, because what’s real is she is murderous and she is going to do terrible things (which she will end up regretting but that’s a whole other thought i have). dina’s ā€œpep talkā€ wasn’t explaining to ellie why ellie needs to be angry, it’s her explaining why she, dina, wants to be a part of this. ellie knows why she is there, but she doesn’t want dina to be apart of the horrible acts she’s going to commit, she wants dina to remain her safe place and her sense of self—the self that still had joel. but selfishly, she can’t make dina not go, because she wants her there.
i also think that’s why ellie wasn’t mad about the pregnancy like she was in the game. it’s been months, the grief has settled into being familiar at this point, she’s not constantly on the edge; unlike the game where the wound was still fresh and that news was shocking, so since she’s hurting, she reacted hurt. but since in the show she has a bandaid on, she was able to avoid the hurt reaction.
lastly, to act like game ellie was constantly the worst version herself every minute she’s in seattle is just so dramatic and wrong. ellie and dina have nice moments, ellie has moments where she is sad and happy and angry and bittersweet. her grief is not simply rage—it’s human. that’s how the show is doing it too. it’s weird when someone you love dies because somehow, the world keeps spinning. it feels unfair, how dare life continue without someone i cared about with me. but it does, which means even as you miss someone you’re going to have happy moments, and excited ones, and silly ones. that doesn’t mean everything is ok, it just means something is right then in that moment.
anyway. i think the show is fine, it’s entertaining, it has solid enough plot, and more than anything it’s goal is to provoke thought and feelings, the same thing the game wanted. if you don’t like how they did it that’s fine, you can play the game. but if you’re giving the show a chance, give it a real one. contextualize s2 within the show, not the game, because they are different and if you keep mixing up content then yeah, it’s going to feel like a bad show. so everyone chill out and just have fun watching a little show damn
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fanficmaniatic Ā· 1 month ago
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I dont know if this is a hot take but, I dont think Lloyd is a good teacher... And I think that might be the point. I feel like the show has a very good oportunity of pulling a parallel with s1 ep "The Green Ninja" by, in a similar way Kai believed he was the green ninja, have Lloyd believe he needs to be the greatest teacher, but ultimatly relize is not all on him. Have him realize that he can be a great leader, and a great teammate, but others could guide his students better than him.
After All, the 4 elements were meant to guide and protect him. He is not alone and is not all on him, and I think he having that realization about being a teacher could be a cool arc for Lloyd.
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thechy-fychannel Ā· 1 year ago
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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jumblejee-afaik Ā· 3 months ago
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if you want to watch the stars, let’s just watch the stars, or so he says.. šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ’«
an extra doodle of mithril and march under the cut ^_^
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mithril’s physically mute due to an injury during the earthquake but can get around fine with aldarian sign language! i made it so that he learned a spell (kind of like spell of tongues in dnd) where people get to understand him for a short time. im writing his backstory in a longform fic and hope to explore his relationship with march (and his past!) then :- )
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danandfuckingjonlmao Ā· 1 year ago
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the way that i can always tell if dan is saying ā€œphanā€ or ā€œfanā€ rattles me to my core every time. he aspirates the FUCK out of that voiceless labiodental fricative so violently it’s practically a voiced consonant am i right, ling phannies šŸ˜
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dykedvonte Ā· 2 months ago
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A crazy thing about Mouthwashing is that Pony Express lost communication with one of its freighters for months and didn’t send anyone to check.
A genuinely reputable company, or at the very least a decent one, would have sent someone, something out to check after about two weeks of silence. Two months is when the crew start questioning if they are even being looked for which implies they were already expecting it to take a while cause P.E just doesn’t care.
They don’t care about who they hire. They don’t care about the conditions they place their crew in or how safe the safety measures actually are. They just don’t care, made rules and regulations so they can care less and succeed in getting away with it with how little those ideas are discussed.
#back on remembering how little blame we give P.E very the real organizational problems that led to the interpersonal ones#there’s many facets to talk about MW in but it’s that people really down play the working class factor and that everyone on the ship are no#too far off from each other and you have to incorporate that into how things play out like the false prestige of being captain and curly#exudes creates this inflated idea he had unlimited capabilities to do much more when it’s clear he is ruled by the same restrictions just a#a slightly different angle same way Swansea as the mechanic can’t fix a vent not because it’s likely difficult but because he just lacks th#rescources and constant clearances needed so it’s a stagnant task#same way even when Anya gets to do nurse stuff it’s limited by what she is given#it’s all reflective about what they have to work with not being enough not even being barely enough#both on an aspect of actual tangible problems and subjective issues#something something boss makes a dollar the crew makes a dime curly makes a quarter and they all still struggle to stay above water#idk it’s very important and interesting and more tragic to me that they were all in the same bubble but their perceptions of each other and#priorities made them walk each other off and feel levels of resentment that should have been towards P.E like how Curly mainly resents them#but the others clearly take it to a more personal level like he got fired with them#is at the same point of starting over with nothing cause all his experience is worthless in a dying job field and all he got was papers tha#say he’s great at a role no one wants except for the one guy that forced him to exit#all of it for nothing all those years for nothing and he didn’t get to choose#I think it’s interesting that people assume curly got what he wanted when he wanted a choice in his future to continue as is or change just#because they feed so heavily into the birthday argument where a projecting Jimmy says Curly got what he wanted when curly corrects him ther#saying what he wanted was a life he didn’t have to escape from being forced out of something isn’t escape if you have no where to go or#everyone got to kinda make a choice whether we consider Jimmy crashing the ship or Anya telling Jimmy and later killing herself#curly being trapped feels so minimal cause it’s hard to recognize how he’s caged in by being the in between of the head and the crew he can#move freely through either as he has the power of boss to them and subordinate to the other he has to do what the company says to an extent#and hopefully mitigate anything the crew might do and the ā€˜perks’ of being captain are just different leashes he’s on with the crew and P.E#it’s like so hard to understand when you aren’t used to working in these type environments or have been in similar organizational power#structures but the crew being on the same sort of economic scale and class is so important to why and how they act the way they do#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#pony express#curly mouthwashing#captain curly
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thesummerstorms Ā· 11 months ago
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The other thing that I think I would want in an Annabeth Wayne AU that I don't think I've seen so far is Bruce being absolutely pissed at Athena.
It was bad enough with Talia and Damian, but Athena is a literal god of wisdom who should know better AND he doesn't even have the "culpability" of having slept with her.
She one hundred percent saw Batman, tactician of the Justice League, was drawn in by her aspect of the Goddess of Strategy, and proceeded to create a child without his consent, a daughter who she didn't even raise before the child became a weapon.
And like whatever else, however fucked up Damian was by his own training to become a child-weapon, at least Talia loved Damian.
Whereas Athena loves Annabeth in the way a Goddess loves, not the way a Person loves, and I don't think Bruce, whose entire identity is so fixated on his relationship with his own parents, would recognize that as love at all.
And, like, Talia put Damian through a lot of shit. I think Bruce would be angry there too. But when push came to shove, she at least at some point brought him to Bruce because she thought it was in her son's best interests.
Athena actively lead Annabeth away from Bruce and into the streets at the age of seven, which Bruce would never see as in her best interest, whatever Athena's godly perspective is, however badly he reacted after Jason's death, even though he couldn't see (and dismissed the idea of) the spiders and the monsters. She was seven. In the streets of Gotham.
Athena let Annabeth fight a major role in two wars back to back without being there to train her or protect her or love her or even advise her. Athena advocated for the cold blooded murder of the other children who had actually tried to keep his daughter safe. Athena sent Annabeth against Arachne when Athena's children have universally died on that quest for a thousand years.
Athena let Bruce think he had gotten Annabeth killed because of his own inability to handle his grief. Let him think his daughter was dead or worse for years. Would have let him keep thinking that if the Fates didn't have other plans.
And just, in true fashion for all of my ideas on a PJO x DC crossover, everyone really comes out more traumatized than before. This includes Bruce.
Because now he wasn't just used unknowingly for a child just once, but twice. And in both cases he's going to have to live forever with the guilt of not having been able to protect his kids from what their other parent wanted to make of them
(On top of all the ways he has directly failed them and made any complexes worse, of course )
#bruce wayne#annabeth chase#annabeth wayne#athena#pjo x dcu#dcu x pjo#again I have to reiterate that I actually do think Athena loves her daughter#I just think that to a human a god's love is inevitably going to look cruel#because they don't and can't love in the same way#giving your child opportunity for Kleos and sending them to a teacher is a love to a goddess#whereas a human parent might never want their child to fight or suffer at all#and even with Bruce's whole Batman and Robin situation#he a) still felt guilt and went back and forth over it multiple times#and b) he was at least trying to guide them and accompanied them into the field and deliberately tried to give them whatever tools they#needed to be both moral and safe#Athena doesn't see a difference between what she did and Bruce's crusade but he absolutely doe#this post is obviously very much more Bruce's POV of course#Athena would have her own but I am biased#'love the way a goddess loves not the way a person loves' - but Rev aren't the gods people#Not fully#I don't think they can be; they're too vast#Behind their personalities they're all personification#so yes and no but not enough#as for bruce reacting badly after Jason's death#I generally don't think he *hurt* her which I've seen some choose to write based on him hitting Dick#but someone in fic wrote a HC that he blamed her at first bc she knew Jason was sneaking out and didn't say and I took that and ran with it#& after his initial outburst he freezes her out bc his anger scares him & he thinks keeping her at a distance will protect her from that#not knowing that she's already internalized that guilt AND already felt prior to this that Bruce was abandoning her in favor of being Batma
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inchidentally Ā· 3 months ago
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okay prefacing that this is only referring to a small but loud part of the community... to follow up on the thing of supposed Lily Z fangirls turning around saying how she's "better than other wags" (????) bc she's "silent and has no public communications and doesn't take up space apart from looking beautiful" (???) (bc apparently we're not even internalizing the misogyny anymore it's just right out there saying a woman should be seen not heard, publicly beautiful but only serve her man and not want attention for herself) but then after praising that she clearly does not want a load of public attention, proceed to freak the fuck out IN. ALL. CAPS. in comments sections everywhere that she appears even in the background and draw attention to a woman who's clearly does not want be in the limelight....
so yea speaking in that vein can the other incredibly obvious fake fangirls of wags please stop using AI beauty filters on these women's pictures and posting them where they can see ?? that is not Lily Z's real jaw or mouth shape, that is not Alex's real nose and that is not Lily H's cheekbones or eye shape. guess what you aren't selling the whole I'm only here for the girls claim when you make it blatantly clear you don't think they're naturally pretty enough and have to run them through digital plastic surgery and yes we can all see how blurred and weirdly smooth it all looks when you do it so I guarantee the women themselves will go 'yikes that's me but... not me'
and reminder that a woman's college degree is not a Barbie accessory nor is it a "selling point" for her boyfriend that's rly disgusting to talk about it that way !!! pls just leave a like on the original photos of wags posted by official accounts if you're unable to inadvertently demean women whenever you post about them (and yes I know a lot of ppl aren't being weird but it's getting way too comfortable in very public spaces !) and also no she doesn't believe you when you claim you hate Oscar and think he's ugly and stupid and wish she'd just... randomly walk where he is but somehow not have him present when how would that work when you never even see her if she's not with Oscar like wtffff are ppl even doing anymore can we calm down and be normal and actually respect women and not treat them like commodities wow
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fmluder24 Ā· 3 months ago
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Hate "The Field Where I Died" something fierce (not because of the father/daughter stuff most shippers do; I'm actually incredibly annoyed about more Holocaust appropriation targeting Duchovny but I digress) but Mulder wanting to believe in true love and soulmates so hard so instantly with so little "evidence" because he just wants to love and be loved so deeply and unfortunately that need was never fulfilled by his family or any major relationships (Phoebe, Diana, other work relationships like prior colleagues and bosses) in his life (including Scully at that point in Season 4 (and possibly ever imo)) is so SAD and COMPELLING
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why-bless-your-heart Ā· 1 year ago
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My mom sent me a watercolor she just did and I’m going a little crazy over it, tbh.
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fisheito Ā· 1 year ago
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let him speak
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maaaxx Ā· 3 months ago
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Studying social work means that i will never have any faith in a mental health provider ever again. Ive seen the type of people they give these degrees, the standards arent existent
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lordofrattay Ā· 2 months ago
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I don’t know if I’m having a crisis or what but I’ve been genuinely thinking about leaving my job all day.
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ancha-aus Ā· 7 months ago
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Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAu - Q&A
As I said! I totally wasn't scheming :3 @spotaus
But i had to wait until you uploaded your drabble about very sneaky Cross to make sure I got more references and a better idea about his character :D
So... here we are :3 Also yes the name of the drabble is a very bad joke but i thought of it and it was too funny.
*------------------------------------------*
Cross just sits there... He is such an idiot!
Getting caught?! As quickly as he did? that must be a record on how incapable he was.
It wasn't as if Cross had an excuse. Dream and Blue warned him! Warned him that the Knights were very skilled and watchful. That he had to leave as soon as he got the information and plans. Do not linger!
That had been the mission!
Instead he was a coward and just. Took too long. He spend too much time trying to form a plan instead of just acting. And then He tried to solve mysteries himself instead of just grabbing and leaving as soon as he could!
But he just... Cross groans.
He hadn't found anything fitting the brief. He hadn't been able to find anything that spoke about hurting people or raising taxes to hurt the poor or anything!
In matter of fact.
All he found was plans to improve the infra structure. To tax the nobels more and lower the taxes on people who earned less. He found information on how the king had contact with farmers to work on more structures and installations to help farmers recover from the change in weather and to fully utilise the land without exhausting it.
Projects on testing mixed crop planting and stricts rotation schedules to make sure the soil itself wasn't exhausted from nutrients or risks infections or fungi growing which would hurt the soil and specific crops.
There was even this whole program about apprentices!! something about orphans and children and teens on the straights and a way to offer them schooling and housing and even training with the people helping them! That the crown would pay these people for helping those who don't have family to count on!
It is still in draft clearly as it had been covered with sidenotes in this very elegant and curve handwriting. notes about how to pay for it. where to start it. which people to ask for posibilities. but also notes about how to check the children. how to make sure the children and teens weren't use or abused or even worse!
And... well... not too shortly after that one of the Knights just... Sat in the chair and spoke casually... Scared the shit out of him at the time.
How was that dude so quiet?! or so strong for that matter?
How could his magic had backfired so badly?
Cross sighs as he turns to his side. He is an IDIOT. How could he have gotten so reckless?
Drema and Blue would have already been happy with him getting anything back from the king's plans... maybe he just couldnt see the danger in them clearly? Hell if he knows what the state in the country is. He knows nothing about this place.
Maybe the things he saw was a bad thing? Maybe there was some... weird way to make them look bad?
Like.
Maybe there was already little nature? Sure Cross saw a lot of it on his way here but hell if he knows? maybe there is little in the cities or soemthing?
Maybe the nobels are already being taxed a lot? maybe this will make the nobels all poor? and euh.... Cross isn't sure how taxing the poor less could be bad but maybe there is some way?
the farming thing... Well... Cross isn't sure... maybe the farmers don't want him to micro manage or soemthing? maybe the king is being too controlling about it? that works...
The children are obvious. those are vulnerable kids and teens! Who are being used and exploited!! Well... he would have to ignore all the sidenotes about the kids wellbeing... and the notes about banning child labor...
Cross groans. Why is it so hard to see the things he is doing as bad?! Dream told him that Nightmare is corrupted and the thing ruling now is evil and terrible and needs to be removed to save his twin!!
Then why are the plans good? Maybe he is faking it? But why? XGaster never bothered to fake anything... He was just rightfully the king and people should respect him.
Cross frowns as he turns on his side. Ignoring the guard standing well guard outside of his cell. He tugs on the magical blocker on his arm. Making him unable to use his magic to summon any weapon or try to take control over someone elses magic again.
Well... Not like he can try that with the guard guarding him again anyway. Seeing as it is Dust guarding him...
Cross tugs on it again and Dust speaks "Don't bother. Those things can't be removed by the wearer."
Cross freezes and looks over. He thought he had been sneaky enough. The one with the panther mask stares back.
Cross frowns as he turns back to the wall.
The Knight goes quiet again.
Cross tugs on the band one more time. Just to be spiteful. Before laying back and staring at the wall.
Fuck... He is going to die here? Isn't he?
Maybe they will just starve him...
Or maybe they will first torture him to figure out who he works for.
Cross is going to have to withstand it until he dies. He can't give up Dream and the fact he is planning a revolution.
He can't ruin another revolution that could save and help so many people.
He will have to be strong. Not give in. Not even an inch.
"I apologise I took so long Dust. Thank you for keeping watch."
Cross freezes at the new but familiar voice. Cross had heard the voice before. He had seen the owner walk around and had been getting information on him.
The king.
The fucking king.
Nightmare himself!
Why was the king here?!
Sure Cross had been spying and stealing information. But was that really such a big deal to get the king himself to interrogate him?!
Then again... Shed's tail had aparently been removed and used for cat toys...
He is so dead.
A click and the door to his cell slowly creaks open.
Cross's pulse is beating so fast.
Footsteps walking closer. before the door creaks closed. and is relocked.
He is so dead.
A few more steps and then silence for a moment as Cross tries to keep his panic at bay. He regrets staring at the wall.
"I know you are awake. Speaking will be a lot easier if we face each other."
Cross keeps laying there. What does he do?! He can't ignore him. Come on Cross. Be brave. You faced down scarier threats!
'But you had magic back then.' his mind whispers 'You had a way to defend yourself.'
Still. Cross sits up and turns around. Making sure he is glaring. He is not going to give in. "What is there to tell?" His voice holds the challange. He isn't afraid. He will not give in. He is not going to give this so-called king anything!
Nightmare tilts his skull slightly. intrigue clearly. Cross doesn't like the fact that he seems just so... unbothered by Cross. Cross is the enemy! He is sitting in the cell after Nightmare's forces found him snooping around, trying to steal information.
So why is this king staring at him with just intrigued! No rage? No disgust?!
Nightmare speaks again. Seemingly taking his time to think about his answers. trying to be actually truthful? or trying to think of an answer that Cross wants to hear? Wait... Is the king already in cross's head and mind? is Cross already being tricked?
Nightmare's voice breaks him out of his spiralled thinking "I think I disagree. there is a lot to talk about."
Cross tilts his skull upwards. stubborn energy in his soul "I won't tell you anything about who send me or why. No matter what!"
Nightmare looks slightly amused "I don't exactly care about who send you or why."
... what?
Nightmare continues, at his aparently obvious confusion, as he explains "I know there are people who wish to know what I am doing. I know people are scheming against me. It is nothing new. Even a spy as yourself is nothing new." he looks amused "The fact they even send you implies they know close to nothign about me, my land or my home. Or, that they don't care about you at all."
That.. that doesn't make any sense?!
Ngihtmare nods "I do apologise you swore your loyalty to those who know nothing of the target they send you to spy on. Otherwise they would have known that I am aware of what goes on in my castle and land." he smiles "they would have known that my Knights are everywhere and good at their jobs." he shoots Cross a look "They would know that i am aware of who is suposed to work where at which moment."
Cross feels his mind lock up as the information filters in... How... how hadn't Dream known this?
Ngihtmare waves a hand casually "You are a rather inexperienced spy. Not that it matters. As there is very little any type of skill could have done against me and those of mine. Either your employers know nothing of me which means they aren't much of a threat quite yet. Or they were willing to throw you away as some sort of test against me or you. Which just makes me unimpressed with them overall."
Cross just stares at the ground.
The Knight speaks softly "Way to ruin his worldview my king."
a moment of silence before "I apologise. I shouldn't have said those things. You did not deserve to hear those or have to worry about which case is true."
Cross snaps "Why am i not dead yet?!" He had heard about the terrible punishment this parasite of a king does. How he hurts people for jsut the hell of it... From Dream... form the guards working here... It makes no sense that Cross is still alive. Unless he wants to torture him of course...
A moment of silence.
Ngihtmare speaks a bit softer but still sure and confident "You meant no harm. You were here for a few days and no one was attacked. Neither myself, my knights, my servants or my people in the city. I do not see why i would punish you with death if you did not do a crime earning such a thing."
Cross glares up "And if i had hurt someone?" So he was just doing this own test?! this is just a test. That Cross can deal with. Cross can deal with someone trying to trick and test him!
The king chuckles and shakes his skull "It is very bold of you to assume you would have been able to hurt anyone. Just because we aren't obvious you were not walking around unnoticed or unwatched. If you had made a single move to hurt someone you would have been stopped and caught right away. I must admit however if you had tried that this conversation would be going very differently."
Cross frowns, wait... "If i moved to hurt someone? Anyone?"
Nightmare nods "Of course. The people who work for me are people who's safety i take very seriously. They are willing to work for me. in trade for their servitude i make sure they have what they need and want and more importantly. That they are safe to live their lifes." He sounds so certain and the answer is instantly.
He didn't even need to think about it.
Cross's mind is swimming as he tries to focus. This makes no sense... Why is he implying that he only punishes those who deserve it? That isn't waht others said. This... this is weird. This is the weirdest interrogation he has ever been part of. But he manages to find his voice again "What do you then even want to know?" It isn't like he knows anything.
Nightmare watches him "I am curious about the Lost Kingdom."
Cross flinches as he looks away. "It isn't called lost..." it isn't lost... it isn't! His... his brother- Nine is trying so hard to fix the mess Cross left behind. the mess Cross helped cause. It may be broken and a bit of a mess but it isn't lost. Lost implies there is nothing that can be saved from it.
A soft hum before he speaks again "I apologise. It is a name i took over from others." a moment of silence "I supose I am just curious what made the most loyal of knights of that land leave the country he was working on protecting."
Cross freezes. huh?
Nightmare waits for a moment but when Cross doens't answer he continues "It doesn't make sense to me. Your every move and motivation was from trying to protect the country you served. Yet here you are. Instead of there."
Cross looks to the side. He... he had tried to protect but he failed everyone. He always failed... He made the most terrible mistake of mistakes... How could he stay? they didn't want him to stay. He didn't deserve to stay after that.
Cross looks to the side and speaks "No one wanted the loyal dog of the tyrant to stay. so i left." there.
a moment of silence. "Seems a bit of a harsh name for someone who was loyal to the country."
Cross glares "I wasn't! I just did what the old tyrant wanted!" Like an idiot who can't think for himself. He just did whatever his father told him. Too blind and too stupid to see that XGaster was hurting others.
Nightmare continues to look at him "And you believed in him to make the right choices for the country. That is the job of a king. Make sure that what is done is done to improve the land. improve the country. improve life for the people. It is not your fault that XGaster didn't honour his rule. That he did not do what he was suposed to. What he was sworn into."
Cross can't hear this. Not form sometone who is suposed to be eveil but seems to know so much. Who seems to know what it means to be king yet who isn't suposed to care. Why is this thing who is possessing an innocent acting as it he cares? How would this thing know what makes a good king?!
Cross asks him as much. "Why do you care!?" it is more of a snap than a question.
Is it... Is it Nightmare? Influencing the thing brainwashing him and controlling him? Fighting back?
Dream would be happy to hear that.
Nightmare still thinks about the question. He looks ahead of himself with a tiny frown. Seemingly thinking.
Cross however can't help that notice how blue the cyan eye is. Clearly unnatural. Toxic even... Yet calm. There is no rage hidden that Dream warned him about. No edge of insanity or madness. Just calm and insightful thoughts. Control over his mind? but that makes no sense if he is brainwashed...
The body is not at all what Cross even expected to once see. Ngihtmare had this imposing presence. The fact his form was covered with a goop that had melted over one of his sockets didn't help. The way those tentacles on his back moved and idled. Seemingly without a single thought- wait... didn't octopusses have like... brains in each tentacle. Did that mean that Nightmare had five brains working and thinking for him?
Still... The corruption is so clearly... strange. Dream had told him that the powers given by the ritual was suposed to make a king and warrior of light. Of good. This form is proof that Nightmare wasn't suposed to gain this power. It is dark and moving and changing... But Cross can't help but think it doesn't look that bad, that the name corruption doesn't quite fit. It doesn't radiate any harm in anyway. Not like that time in the hall... Is... Nightmare able to control the presence it gives off? Why wouldn't he use it now? The slight magic he can still feel is potent and strong and unlike anything Cross ever felt before... But it isn't like other poisonous magics Cross had learned about. That he had trained to recognise. It is strange...
Cross decides to focus on the clothes he is wearing. It is clearly high quality stuff. not to forget the golden accents and actual bands around the tentacles. the clips with apple motifs. the detailing of branches like swirls in the same cyan colour as that eye, just less obvious because the fabric is slightly see through.
It makes for one intimidating image. One that the king carries with confidence and familiarity.
Nightmare speaks "I care because i wish to understand. We learn by understanding others. Even if i don't agree with someone doesn't mean i don't have to understand them. In matter of fact. the only way to truly disagree and be against something is to understand or at least know about the concept. When it is about why people do certain actions it is important to learn their motives and reasons. to understand why they did what they did before casting out judgement."
Cross can't deal with him... how is this suposed evil tyrant so understanding?
He is nothing like XGaster.
Nothing at all.
Cross can see that so clearly and so easily. This is someone who knows what he is talking about and who doesn't just say what you want to hear. Cross thought he knew what he was going into. He thought he would meet a man simular to XGaster.
Someone who manipulates. Someone who lies. Someone who turns every answer into a small insult. Someone who tells you how to think and why you are an idiot for not thinkinf like that from the start. Someone who believes himself to be perfect and not capable of fault.
Cross believed his father to be rightful in being this way and thinking that way for so long. It wasn't until after the revolution Cross finally noticed the cracks in the facade.
Cross thought... he figured he would be able to see through whatever mask Ngihtmare is wearing. Metaphorical of course. But he can't... he is failing. He can't figure this out.
Is... is cross being an idiot again? is Nightmare lying to him and is Cross still just unable to see it?
Or is there no mask to see through? no mask to spot the cracks in?
What does he do?
Nightmare waits and remains quiet until Cross actually focusses on him. When he does Nightmare speaks again "I wish to know what happened there. In your home."
His home...
"It isn't my home..." not anymore...
Nightmare nods and speaks again "Then what happened to the country that you used to serve and protect. What caused the downfall?"
Cross looks to the side "A revolution obviously..."
Ngihtmare nods and waits.
Cross glares "I was an idiot and could not pick a side. I couldn't fight my brother who lead the revolution but i could also not betray my lord. I ended up trying to help both yet messed everything up." he glares at the king "I made everything worse." all because he just couldn't pick.
Ngihtmare tilts his skull "Rather extreme. Thinking just one person can make or break a revolution."
Cross blinks.
Nightmare nods calmly "I am not saying that you couldn't have made it go better. That is always an option. However. A revolution... a rebellion. It is the same thing, and it is messy. it is dangerous. One person can not make things go perfect. that is impossible."
Dust coughs lightly into his hand. The king shoots him a look but nothing else happens.
The king turns back to him "You are not responsible for everything that happened. could you have helped? Yes. But... the choice that you made also enabled you to do the few things you could. the little bits you did to help your brother. If you had picked to defend the old tyrant. You would have had to hurt others."
Cross glares down "I know i should have helped."
Ngihtmare shakes his skull "That isn't what i am saying. the point i am trying to make is. You never know what you would have done in the other two situations. You could have joined your brother. but then you would have had to fight the very people you trained and fought beside before. The same people who know you through and through. who know how you fight and move." and he looks at him. "You helping them. either side of the conflict. would have meant you would have been at a different position at any given point. The things that happened wouldn't and couldn't have happened because your actions in this... neutral choice also had consequences and effect. It meant that XGaster stationed you as a guard. if you hadn't been available he would maybe have used two others to gain the same protection you gave him. You didn't stop the revolution when they got to you. instead there would have been two guards guarding the door." And nightmare give shim a moment to let that information sink in.
Cross stops... he... hadn't thought about... all he could think about is how he could have made things different. Thinking about how his skills could have helped specific moments... he hadn't considered that... him helping them from the start would have chanced everything...
and the moment where he could have helped... may never have even happened.
Cross shakes his skull "Things would have been better if i had picked a side."
The king considers it "Maybe it would have. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe by not picking a side you were able to do enough damage control for both sides that enabled it to even be successful. Maybe not picking a side made it last longer. You can not know which choice would ahve been better as you never saw the options."
Cross isn't sure what is even going on anymore. He had believed... He had been sure that him not making a choice just made everythign worse. Everyone agreed. Everyone must have agreed or else they wouldn't have made sure to remind him about his mistake each moment they could...
right?
Nightmare nods before getting up. Cross only now notices that Nightmare had been using his own tentacles as a chair "But I think I have pushed you too far already with my questions. You need rest and time to process and calm down. Food will be brought to you later." he turns towards the cell door and exits.
The king nods to the guard and starts to walk away.
Wait...
Wait!
Cross jumps up and rushes to the bars "Wait!"
The king stops and turns back to him "yes?" and he waits.
Cross pants "You said... Way before... at the start... There had been others like me. other spies. Where are they now?" Dream said others had been send before right? Or maybe even other forces. That Nightmare killed them?
Nightmare tilts his skull "My knights or I myself spoke to them. Much like I am doing wiht you. Those who meant no harm and held no wish to hurt those here... They were offered a change of scenery. They mentioned they couldn't and didn't want to return a failure to their old leaders. There is always room and a need for people willing to work and help."
Cross frowns "And those who did wish to return home?"
Nightmare looks unbothered "After making sure they were no threat they were released at the border. With a warning to not return. Once is an happening after all, one people can learn from. However if it turns out they lied or wished to return to do harm after all they were punished for their crimes."
Cross looks down as his mind spins "Oh..."
Nightmare waits for a moment longer before nodding "Rest up. I will come back either tomorrow or the day after to continue our conversation." he turns and leaves.
Cross slowly lets go of the bars and goes back to the bed in the cell... He can't help but notice that it is actually rather comfortable here.
Sure there are bars and he is locked in and unable to use magic...
But there is fresh air. Some natural sunlight comes in through the barred windows. It isn't cold or wet. There are warm blankets and soft places to sit...
Even if it is a jailcell. It is comfortable at least.
Cross rolls back up on the bed and thinks.
His mind going over the past conversation and thinking about what he learned. For it having been suposed to be a way for the king to learn about Cross it was just Cross learning about Nightmare.
What had the king even wanted to learn? All Cross told him was how he thought about things and experienced it. Not even how the revolution happened or what events took place.
If Nightmare had wished to know those it would make sense. Then it would gain Nightmare insight to how the revolution managed to be successfull and what to defend against.
And yet...
and yet...
He didn't. All Nightmare wished to know was what Cross did.
It doesn't make sense.
None of it does.
It doesn't take long but eventually a maid comes along. a human and she bows in respect to the Knight before turning towards Cross with a smile "Hello there. I brought you some food. It are roasted potatoes and a salad." she puts it on the little opening to push it into his cell "Once you are done please place it back in this same area. Makes us able to clean it up which will leave your area a bit cleaner!" she smiles happily before nodding once she sees Cross paying her attention.
After that she turns away, bows to the Knight again,before leaving.
Cross makes his way to the food slowly but the Knight standing guard doesn't make a single move to take or mess with it.
Cross grabs his food and takes a seat on his bed again. He eats it slowly and feels his hand shake once he realises it is actually good.
It is taste and warm and filled with nutrients.
Why are they treating him so nicely?
Cross just... doesn't get it...
Maybe he can ask the next time Nightmare comes to him to talk?
Maybe he can get some answers after all...
*------------------------*
In case you guys don't get the title name. It is a joke. Because Cross is being interrogated but it is more a mutual Q&A...
I will leave now.
#utmv#NewAgeAU#nightmare sans#Cross sans#dust sans#Cross freaking out about the cell door being opened and him thinking he is about to die.#meanwhile nightmare thinking: oh. that is creaking loudly. we need to send someone down here to oil the doors.#Just. the differences in energy here people. So funny.#But yeah. Nightmare? Just wants to understand.#He learned that the best way to know what people think and do is just to... ask them and try to understand the why they did something.#by understanding he gains more insight in what people do and want and need and what they can do to gain these things.#It helps him to udnerstand the more normal people from his place as king.#Also he is just curious how someone as loyal as cross could end up so far away from the very people he swore to protect.#(doing a bit of research to see why loyal people would leave because of his knights.)#but all he learns is that... cross felt like he had failed in his job and so left on his own as a form os self punishment.#So now he is trying to understand why he would feel like this.#all so he knows waht to watch out for with his own knights and to know how to reassure them.#To make sure he knows how to let them know that he trusts them and mistakes are allowed.#Cross is just having many crisis because well...#he isn't used to someone this powerful just having an honest normal conversation with someone so low in comparisson#Which for nightmare is normal (he got rit of the old advisors for experts in certain fields who were originally much more normal civilians)#It is a whole culture shock that nightmare is causing because he works so very different from the people in power cross is used to.#but yeah.#the first conversation between nightmare and cross which eventually lead to a career switch for cross.#that is the one i wanted to play with and explore :3#I had to change it a bit after Spot uploaded their drabble but i am proud to say most of it still worked :D#Enjoy <3
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