#I’ll be back later for the discourse

[karebear923]

WE ALL CHEERED!!!

I screamed just as loud as the crowd and scared my cats 😅

I’m so glad my boys get their happy ending!!! They deserve nothing but good things for the rest of their lives!!! 🥹🫶🥰❤️

[chrollohearttags]

thought I wanted to deactivate, I just needed to filter my tags again.

[kaciidubs]

Ass or Tits?

❣ Summary: The question of 'ass or tits' never truly mattered when you had a group of men who loved all of you. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 6.4k ❣ Warnings: Poly! OT8 x Reader, smut, humor, fluff, light Dom/Sub dynamics, creampie(s), squirting, cum play, referenced after care ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Usual first name + pet name references for the members, Reader is referred to as Baby, Mommy, Miss, Princess, Good Girl, Bunny, Bub, Kitten, Jagi, Noona, lightly edited ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist

“Hey, Hyune?”

The artist hummed as he sketched away at his desk, “Yeah?”

“What do you like better, ass or tits?”

He froze, dropping the charcoal pencil as your words ran through his head on repeat.

“Your ass or tits?”

There was no way he was about to get caught in an infamous partner discourse, not after years of being immune to other futile debates brought on by a certain freckle-faced fairy.

You scoffed out a laugh, rolling onto your stomach from your resting place on his bed, “I mean, I’d hope you’d be talking about my ass or tits, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin whipped his head toward you, eyebrows pushing to his hairline, “W-Well how am I supposed to know!?  This is one of the questions every person dreads! You’re expecting me to pick one or the other on one of my favorite people in the world? What then? Are you going to ask me ‘acrylic or charcoal’? Because I’ll have you know, those are two very different mediums and-”

“Hyunjin, baby - it’s just a question!” Stifling a chuckle, you shook your head, “It’s not like I’m going to ban you from sex if you pick something I didn’t expect - I’m just curious, you know? All of you have different preferences and even though after two years I can kind of make a good guess, I wanna hear it from the sources.”

His shoulders relaxed, visibly slumping in his chair and running his cleaner hand through his short hair, “You’re stressing me out, muse! Why didn’t you lead with that?!”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m so sorry, my little drama queen - now, pick!”

Dark eyes scanned your figure, his head cocking to the side and if you looked closer you could��ve seen the gears turning in his brain.

“Mm… Tits.”

“I knew it.”

“Wha- What’s that supposed to mean?! Are you calling me basic?”

“No, my prince, I’m calling you predictable,” getting off of the bed, you walked toward him and pinched his cheek lovingly, “you grope Changbin’s chest like it’s your job, and there’s rarely a moment your hand isn’t on my chest when we’re cuddling. Now, go wash up - we’re meeting in Chris’s room.”

With a quick kiss to the crown of his head, you walked out of his room with your phone in hand, thumbs typing away in your group chat.

|❣️: Chris’s room asap 💋

“So… Is there a reason why we were summoned? To Chan’s room, no less?” Minho hummed inquisitively, picking up a small souvenir from the eldest’s dresser and turning it in his hands.

“If this is an intervention about League, I swear I didn’t mean to yell that night - I honestly didn’t think anyone heard me!” Came Felix’s whine of defense, already making himself a home on the California king bed, “Seungmin was throwing the game on purpose and I was losing against this stupid-”

“That’s crazy.” Seungmin gaped, faux shock on his face as he purposefully rolled on top of the Aussie, a muffled groan getting caught in the midst of it all. “I told you not to put too much trust in me!”

“Lixie, hate to break it to you, but this definitely isn’t an intervention, but we’ll come back to that point later.” Clapping your hands, you took in the rest of the members who either piled onto the bed, doubled up in Chris’s computer chair, or stood against the door frame. “Anyways - I called you guys here because I have a question!”

“I’d peel a pineapple for you if you asked.”

The room went silent as all eyes shot to Jisung who was currently seated in Minho’s lap, a triumphant smile on his pretty lips.

“I… No, Jisung, it’s not that question, but I’ll remember your answer when I do ask.” Willing away the confused looks sent your way, you cleared your throat, “The actual question is; which do each of you like better - my ass, or my tits?”

The room broke into an uproar, various voices speaking over one another as some questioned the validity of the question while others argued their respective points.

“Noona, you really think we can just pick one thing to like about you?”

Minho scoffed, “I can - her ass, easily.”

“Oh… Shit, you’re right.”

“Jeongin?! Weren’t you just saying you couldn’t pick?!”

“Hyung, that was before I was reminded of how her ass looks in her pajama shorts - you can’t tell me that’s not the hottest sight.”

“I can because I chose her tits!”

Felix laughed, holding his hand up for an air high-five, “I was gonna pick her tits too, Jinnie!”

“This is the stupidest conversation I’ve ever heard,” Seungmin mumbled, throwing an arm over his face, though it did nothing to cover the redness of his ears.

“Bunny, you know you’re more than just your body parts, right?”

You nodded enthusiastically, “Binnie, I’m well aware - I’m just asking for the fun of it, it’s nothing deeper than that!”

Changbin hummed, fluffy curls shifting with the movement, “In that case, I’m team ass - it’s just so cute and round and-” He lifted his hand, squeezing the air as if it were your ass cheeks with a dreamy sigh, “-god, I love it.”

“Okay but, what if we can’t pick?” Jisung piped up, a soft pout puffing his cheeks, “There’s no way I can just choose one - look at you, you’re fucking sexy, Jagi!”

“The oral fixation says boobs, Han, there’s no way out of it.”Felix deadpanned from his place on the bed, his head turned to nail the man with a mischievous glint, “Trust me, I know.”

The latter’s eyes flicked to your t-shirt, tracing the outline of your breasts in the loose fabric with ease. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right - her tits are amazing.”

“Alright, Chan and Seungmin, you two are the only ones left - make your choice!” Hyunjin demanded lightly, gesturing his hand toward your body from his seat next to you, “Tits or ass? Ass or tits? Which one is it?”

“I’m not playing this game,” the youngest of the two mumbled, his position unchanged.

“Oh, come on, Seungmin! She said it herself, it’s just for fun, she won’t take any offense to what you choose,” Felix prodded, wiggling his body next to his boyfriend, “and we won’t make fun of you if you pick something we didn’t expect.”

“Yeah, puppy,” reaching down, you threaded your fingers through his black hair, “whatever you pick is fine with me, and if anyone makes fun of you for it, they won’t get anything from me for a week.”

That roused a small chuckle from him as he moved his arm, looking up at you with soft eyes, “Really? You think you could go that long?”

“For my Seungmin? Of course. Now, which is it, baby?”

His lips quivered, struggling between forming words and keeping his solitude until he finally murmured, “I like your thighs.”

“That wasn’t even an-”

You quieted Hyunjin with a glare, “Finish that sentence and that’s the only thing you’ll be finishing near me, Hwang.”

“Aw- I wanna change my answer, her thighs are fucking amazing too!” Jisung all but wailed, practically having a full on meltdown, “When you’re eating her out and she wraps them around your head like earmuffs - they’re so warm but you can’t hear her moans when she does it so it’s just a horrible, beautiful curse!”

“No changing your answer, Sungie, you’re still team tits.” 

Now, all the attention was directed to the only one left; Chris, still leaning against the doorway of his room with an embarrassed flush on his face - nothing preparing him for this conversation that pulled him from the sanctity of his laundry run.

“Well, Chris? What do you like?” You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing, knowing full and well that everyone already knew what their boyfriend would pick.

“Ah- You’re seriously going to make me say it?!”

“Come on, Chan, we all said ours, no matter how obvious,” Changbin sent a side eye in an unbothered Minho’s direction, “some of ours may have been.”

The eldest sighed, dropping his head before bringing it up once again, “I like your ass, baby.”

Scoffing, Felix crawled across Seungmin to get closer to you, “I don’t understand how you guys can pick her ass over these,” his hand quickly found home over one of your breasts, gently squeezing the mound over your shirt and earning a shocked gasp in return, “like, how could you not want to suffocate in them?”

“Especially with how sensitive her nipples are?” Hyunjin chimed in, claiming your other breast with his larger hand, jiggling and watching the ripples from your shirt in response.

“Oh my god- The sound she makes when you suck on them?” The bed dipped with a new weight, Jisung making his way onto the bed, causing Jeongin to crawl over and straddle Seungmin. “You guys are seriously missing out.”

Changbin groaned, “It’s not like we don’t like them, we just love her ass more, there’s a difference, Ji.”

In the meantime, you couldn’t help the small sighs of pleasure escaping you as the duo continued to fondle you over your shirt, Jisung taking the hem into his hands.

“Can we, Jagi?”

You nodded happily, “You can, Sungie.”

Hyunjin and Felix pulled back as he lifted your shirt up and off, tossing it off the edge of the bed without a care in the world - why would he, when your tits were on display for him and the men that admired them?

“Why don’t we all take the chance to really admire our favorite parts about you, my muse?” 

Hyunjin’s sultry voice easily floated through the air, the hidden implications more than enough for the atmosphere to ignite with lust.

“Are you ready, angel?”

You blinked up at Felix with dazzling eyes, a small smile tugging at your lips, “Of course, Lixie.”

In the background, you could hear the familiar sounds of panted breaths and the rustling of clothing, but you wouldn’t dare to turn your head from the scene in front - or, rather, above you. 

Hyunjin took the role of straddling your torso while Felix and Jisung kneeled at the sides of your head without even a hint of the clothing that once covered their bodies.

“Innie, can you pass me the lube?”

Jeongin broke from Seungmin’s lips with a groan, narrowing his eyes, “Why can’t you just spit on it, Hyung? I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“Because I asked you to? If I felt like spitting I would’ve done it already,” Hyunjin spoke matter-of-factly, catching the glimpse of Jisung guiding his dick into your mouth from the corner of his eye, “don’t be a smartass!”

“Smarta-”

The youngest was unceremoniously flipped onto his back, the black haired singer reaching into the nightstand and tossing over a bottle of lube with a huff.

“Seriously, it was never that big of a deal, you brat.”

Snatching up the tube, Hyunjin wasted no time in squeezing a generous amount between the valley of your breasts, humming out a small apology when you jumped at the cold gel on your skin.

“Forget what I said,” Jisung moaned softly, watching the way your cheeks puffed and hollowed with each drag of his cock, “your mouth is my favorite part.”

Pulling off of him with a pop, you pumped him with your right hand and tossed him a teasing smirk, “You’re still team tits, Sungie.”

Turning your head, you eagerly welcomed Felix’s dick with an eager tongue lapping at the precum beading the tip before taking him in one fell swoop.

“That doesn’t take away from the fact that your mouth is fucking amazing, sunshine.” Felix groaned, bringing a hand to cup your cheek as he lightly thrust into your leisurely bobs.

“Especially for the fact that we’re here for these.” Hyunjin’s lube covered hands squeezed your breasts around his length, the swells positively shining as they sandwiched his cock in an unparalleled warmth.

It wasn’t long until an unplanned rhythm was found between the four of you; alternating between blowjobs and handjobs for the sunshine twins while a certain artist busied himself with a simple rhythm of humping your chest.

In the meantime, Changbin managed to swap positions with Minho for the chair, sitting the second eldest in his lap and littering slow kisses paired with sharp nips along the length of his neck while he watched the show before them.

“Chan, you’re not going to just stand there the whole time, are you?” Minho mused with a raised eyebrow, noting the way the eldest hadn’t even moved a muscle from his spot near the door.

Chris hesitated for a moment before shaking his head, “No, but I’m doing laundry - I don’t wanna get sidetracked and forget about it in the wash, you know?”

There was a disinterested hum followed by a huff he knew all too well, and he found himself pushing off of the doorway with a breathless laugh.

“You have such a way with words, you know that?”

Smirking, Minho shrugged, “I know, it’s a talent.”

Standing in front of the two - and inadvertently blocking the once flawless view - Chris planted his hands on the armrests of the chair before leaning down to catch Minho's lips in a slow kiss, just to part a moment later to do the same with Changbin over his shoulder.

“A-Ah- Tighten your hand a little, Jagi.”

“You have hands,” Hyunjin panted, licking his lips as he watched his pink tip repeatedly disappear and reappear, “help her out- fuck, Lix…”

The blond hummed against his neck, licking at a blossoming hickey, “‘M sorry, just feels so good.”

“Hyune, move your hand a bit.”

Abiding the request, Hyunjin slid his hand to the outer swell of your breast while Jisung licked his fingers before easily finding their way to your nipple, gently rolling the nub between his finger and thumb.

The moan you let out was instantly muffled by Felix’s cock, which in turn made him grit out a shivering groan, “F-Fuck, I’m gonna come soon.”

“M-Me too,” Jisung nodded frantically, eyes trained on the way his hand enveloped yours as he fucked your fist, “gonna paint those pretty tits of yours, Jagi.”

It only took a handful of strokes before Felix was drawing from your mouth with frantic breaths, Jisung slipping from your soiled hand to take over the rest of the job as they both aimed for your chest.

“God, look at how gorgeous they look wrapped around Jinnie’s dick.”

“They were just made to have a dick between them, huh?”

You groaned helplessly, bringing your hands to cover Hyunjin’s and squish your breasts together more, “C-Come on, show mommy how much you love her tits.”

If there was one thing to get them to fall, it was that title - and, like a harp string being plucked, they both came with a sharp gasp and a guttural groan, cum spraying across your breasts and a few drops even landing on your fingers.

Hyunjin shivered above you, eyebrows drawing together with the silver eyebrow piercing catching the glint of the light.

“I can see you’re close, Hyune,” squeezing his hands lightly, you watched as Jisung and Felix flocked to him, hands wandering his chest while lips danced along his shoulders and neck, “come for Miss, my prince, make a mess of me.”

A choked moan fell past his lips as his hips stuttered before he lifted himself onto his knees and came against your breasts, his cum joining the mess of the other two with ease and creating an intricate pattern of white along your skin.

Jisung dipped down to lick a fat stripe through the cum, collecting as much as he could onto his tongue before pulling Felix in for a beautifully messy kiss above you - then repeated the process with Hyunjin, leaving you in a state of horny awe.

“Seungmin, you’re up next.” Felix called happily, swiping his thumb along your breast before presenting it to your lips and watched as you eagerly licked it clean. “You’re so kinky.”

You stifled a laugh, giving the pad of his thumb a soft kiss, “You’re one to talk.”

The trio moved away to make room for the thigh connoisseur, watching as he untangled himself from Jeongin and shuffled between your legs - your pajama shorts and underwear having already met the same fate as your t-shirt moments ago.

“I… I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” he mumbled quietly, a strawberry blush turning his ears as he nudged the leaking head of his cock against the plush of your inner thigh. “Might’ve pushed it a bit too close with Innie.”

“That’s more than okay, pup,” reaching your hand out, you grabbed the lube before handing it to him, “if it bothers you, you can always have a round two later, okay?”

Seungmin nodded dutifully, taking the lube from you while tapping your legs, prompting you to lift them both and lean them on his chest; pouring a generous amount of lube in the palm of his hand to coat around his length.

With a bit of maneuvering, he had both of your calves resting on his right shoulder with his dick nestled in the tight space between your thighs and just above your pelvis - if you focused hard enough, you could feel the heat of his balls against the lips of your pussy.

“M-Mm, fuck…” Wrapping his right arm around your legs, his left hand went down to grip the outside of your thigh, squeezing the flesh as he jutted his hips forward with a quiet moan.

You watched on as he fucked your thighs in quick, sharp thrusts, brown eyes fogged and unfocused as he began to chase the high that was undoubtedly close.

“Good puppy, my good puppy - love my thighs so much, hm? Maybe one of these days I should get you to hump one, would you like that?”

You could clock the faint twinkle in his eye from a mile away, catching the subtle pout of his lips as his body rocked against yours without rhyme but with the sole reason of finishing.

His blush now crawled across his face, tinting the apples of his cheeks as his eyes found yours, “Really?”

Humming, you flexed your thighs, “Really, pup, I’d love to watch you ride me.”

He whimpered, blunt nails digging into your skin as his head dropped to nip at your ankle, “W-Want that, bub - want it so bad.”

“Then it’s yours, Minnie. I’m all yours.”

The next thrust forward had ropes of white streaking up the length of your stomach, breathless moans hidden behind firmly pressed lips as Seungmin shook against your legs, tensing and shaking with each wave until he finally relaxed with a shaky breath.

“You okay, pup?”

Nodding, he gave you a soft smile, “Yeah, but you better not forget your promise.”

You laughed, accepting a kiss to your ankle as a parting gift as he moved away from you and into the arms of a lounging Hyunjin - the comment of him being “disgustingly sweaty”, and Hyunjin’s response of “Then get off of me!”, not going unnoticed in the process.

Turning your gaze to the ceiling, a knowing smile grew on your lips, “Do I even have to ask who’s going next?”

“Nope!” Sliding into view came your darling bread, a smug grin on his lips as his face hovered over yours, “You don’t even have to guess, I’m already here.”

Bringing your hand to his jaw, you lightly scratched your nails under his chin, “Of course you are, maknae - so, how do you want me? Doggy style? Reverse cowgirl? Some secret third position I have yet to learn?”

Judging from the sparkle of his eyes the instant the second option left your lips, he had his decision already cut out and you laughed at his inability to be discreet.

“Alright, I guess this is to make up for slacking on leg day, isn’t it?”

Jeongin rolled onto his back, watching as you straddled him with ease, “You’d have to ask Changbin Hyung about that, Noona - you were the one who suggested it anywa- ah!”

You didn’t need to waste time in teasing yourself as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, lining it up with your severely neglected pussy before sinking down in one fell swoop - a satisfied moan leaving your lips.

“O-Oh god, maybe this wasn’t a good idea…”

“Oh? And what makes you say that, baby?”

Of course, you already knew the answer judging from the way his calves tensed, his toes curled and - less externally obvious - the way his dick twitched inside of your warm walls.

“Noona, please-”

“Have a little too much fun with Minnie, huh? Got yourself all excited while you were waiting?” Clicking your tongue, you rolled your hips teasingly, “I bet you were touching yourself while Seungmin was having his turn, weren’t you, baby boy?”

He whined, tossing his head back with a groan, “Just- Just give me a minute, I swear I’ll last!”

Humming, you waited a few seconds before shaking your head, “Sorry, Innie, if you come early then that’s just how it is - just lay back and enjoy the view, okay? This is what you wanted, remember?”

With no other choice, the sounds of your joined moans soon filled the room as you rode him with one goal on your mind.

“Fuck, look at that view…” Neither one of you were aware of Changbin’s sudden presence beside the bed as he leaned beside Jeongin, basking in the sight of your ass jiggling with each bounce. “I’ll never get over it.”

“I-” Jeongin whimpered, short huffs of breaths escaping him, “T-This is the first time-”

“-she’s ridden reverse cowgirl?! IN-ah, what were you waiting for?!”

“It’s not that he was waiting,” you laughed breathlessly, though the clench of your pussy earned a moan in its wake, “he was just too excited to try everything else that normal positions were at the bottom of his list.”

“What a shame, wasting his chance like this.”

Lifting your head, you were now met with the sight of Minho directly in front of you, keen eyes unblinking as he took you in with a smirk.

“Is it a waste, Min?” Slowing your bounces to languid strokes, your head tilted prettily to the side, “I’d like to think of it as an introduction to what future chances would be like.”

This time, his smirk reached his eyes, brown irises sparkling with amusement, “You naughty kitten.” His hand cupped your cheek as he dipped down to steal a kiss, nipping at your bottom lip in the process.

You preened at the sensation, but the moan that followed came from the firm grip on the swell of your ass cheek, the hand and the pressure stemming from two different forms of familiarity.

“See? What did I tell you?” Changbin smirked, squeezing his hand over Jeongin’s to tighten his grip on your ass, “You can watch all you want, but the real fun is in touching.”

The younger groaned out a desperate sound, “‘M g-gonna-”

At the hint of his confession, you forfeited the feeling of Minho’s lips on yours for the opportunity to go back to bouncing on Jeongin’s dick without abandon, fisting the sheets to distract from the unyielding burn in your thighs.

“-a-ah- p-please- N-Noona, oh god, I-” He cut himself off with a choked gasp, hips canting as his orgasm took him by storm.

A hum of satisfaction vibrated past your lips as his warmth filled you, stilling to spare him the overstimulation for the time being. “Feels so good baby, you never disappoint.”

Once the incessant twitching of his cock died down, you lifted yourself off of his lap, shivering at the sensation of his load slowly seeping out of you and dribbling back onto his spent dick.

“So,” you breathed, looking between the two men currently surrounding you and shooting a glance toward Chris, “who’s next?”

The answer to that question was a very smug Minho, excitement thrumming through your veins as he nodded his head toward the edge of the bed - the silent command leading you to find yourself to where you currently were now.

“Minho!”

Your nails clawed at the sheets, the mattress rocking along with your body as the black haired man fucked into you like a man possessed.

“It’s only fair that someone gives you your first orgasm of the night, kitten,” he drawled, thumbs digging into the small of your back as he held you impossibly tighter, “why wouldn’t I make sure that it’s me giving it to you?”

Your body couldn’t decide between attempting to run away from his powerful thrusts, or submit yourself to the fiery pleasure that hoped to consume you, until you felt the warmth of his hands sliding up your back, past your shoulder blades, and along your forearms.

Like a slab of clay for him to mold, he maneuvered your arms behind your back and pinned them with one hand, the other going back to its home on your hip as he aimed long, precise thrusts to a spot he was well acquainted with.

The side of your face melted into the mattress, tears of pleasure blurring your vision, as any sound you’d hoped to make dissolved into hiccuped breaths and encouraging mewls.

Minho grunted, clenching his jaw as he felt the telltale signs of your orgasm begin to shine through, “That’s it, kitten, give it to me.”

Your legs trembled, pussy fluttering and clenching with each passing second until your body tensed with a cry of his name falling from your spit-shined lips.

He welcomed the new wave of arousal coating his dick and adding to the already sloppy glide of your cunt, wet slaps sounding through the room as he fucked you through your high with a breathless chuckle.

“There it is.”

Grip tightening on your wrists, his hips met yours a number of times before he pulled out with a gasp, jacking himself off with his free hand and coming along the curve of your ass and thighs - much to your delirious chagrin.

“Why…?” You whined breathlessly, wiggling your hips for further emphasis - not that he needed it.

Minho released your wrists to land a swift smack to your unsoiled ass cheek, a satisfied smile curling his lips from the squeak you let out. “Because I wanted to - you still have two people to fill you the way you wish, kitten, let’s not get too greedy, hm?”

There was a slew of giggles and chuckles from the onlookers, and you tried your best to send them your best glare, though your efforts were in vain as you felt a pair of hands caressing your thighs.

“Get up on the bed for Binnie, bunny.”

You obeyed with no hesitation, already knowing which position you would be set in for the remainder of the session as you turned to tuck a pillow under your chin, bringing your knees up and out to sit your hips high in the air and dip your spine into a fine arch - pretty and presentable.

“God,” Changbin groaned, scrambling to fill in the space behind you as fast as he could, “I’ve been waiting so long to get you like this, bunny, you would not believe.” His firm hands instantly went to cup your ass, spreading your cheeks further and sucking in a breath at your glistening hole. “So fucking pretty…”

“Binnie.”

Your insistent, warning whine hadn’t fallen on deaf ears, and he wasted no time in notching the fat head of his dick to your fluttering walls.

“Alright, bunny, deep breaths for me.”

Of course, you already knew the drill, having grown custom to the mind numbingly delicious stretch only he was capable of giving you, but the reminder never failed to stir the swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

With a deep inhale, your slow exhale was followed by him sinking past your walls, each inch slowly stretching your cunt around his girth.

It wasn’t long until he was fully seated inside of you, and with warm hands kneading the flesh of your ass, he drew his hips back before snapping them forward, punching a moan from the depths of your lungs.

Even if you were still tingling with the aftershocks of your orgasm, you were still begging for more with each whimpered moan and choked gasp as your body seemed to melt deeper into the arch you had set.

“Look at you, can’t get enough of us, can you?” Changbin goaded, though his tone was soft and warm, “It’s okay, we can’t get enough of you either, bunny.” He lifted his hand to slap the swell of your ass, before gripping the flesh, “You and this ass of yours.”

A shiver shot down your spine as his hand slipped, his thumb caressing the inside of your cheek and just barely grazing your asshole - a temptation that had shown its face among a few of the boys before, but was never fully dwelled on by them nor yourself.

“I’m curious, bunny,” he hummed, slowing his fast thrusts for laxed, deeper ruts, “would you ever let one of us use this other pretty hole of yours?” Sliding his hand further, he pressed his thumb against the tight ring just enough to burn the fantasy into a possible reality, “Would you let Binnie fuck this pretty ass?”

You nodded frantically, your hands gripping onto the poor pillow below you, “Y-Yes! Yes! I-It’s all yours, Binnie - want it so bad!”

His signature, triumphant laugh filled the room as he tossed a glance to his boyfriends, “Hear that? I get first dibs.”

“You can’t just ask her questions like that!” Jeongin groaned, a stern pout set on his lips, “She agrees to anything if you fuck her long enough!”

“Yeah, how else do you think Felix managed to stay up late enough for his Apex tournament that one time?”

“How am I always being brought up here?!” The blond scoffed as he lightly shoved Hyunjin, crossing his arms over his lithe chest, “But, I mean, yeah - three orgasms can get you a pretty good deal.”

Jisung hummed inquisitively, before narrowing his eyes, “But did you win?”

“He won,” Minho huffed, a smirk curving the corners of his lips, “and he gave her head the next morning, I could hear her moans from the kitchen.”

Muted thumps of the headboard began to grow in frequency until a low groan interrupted the riveting conversation - Changbin hunching over your body as his muscles tensed, shivering while he filled you with his seed.

“God, fuck,” he hissed, rolling his hips against yours while your walls fluttered around him, clenching from the orgasm that was just moments away. “You’re too good to us, you know that, bunny?”

You huffed out a breathless laugh, stifling a moan as his hands massaged your lower back out of its arch for a moment of respite, “I-I’ve been told once or twice,” turning your head, sultry eyes landed on the final man of the hour, “but you guys are worth it.”

Chris flushed under the heat of your gaze, just barely catching Changbin’s teasing “Don’t break her back, Chan.”, as he climbed onto the bed and took the space previously occupied by the rapper.

“Think you can stay in this position one more time, baby?” He mused softly, caressing the warm skin of your back before gliding his hand down to the curve of your ass.

Without answering him, you spread your knees and tucked yourself into a deeper arch, wiggling your hips to further entice the man behind you.

“Yeah,” Seungmin chuckled, lazily crossing his arms over his chest, “he’s blowing her back out, it’s over.”

As much as you wanted to turn your head to respond, your train of thought flew out the window as you felt the bed dip slightly, before the pressure of Chris’s blunt tip nudged against your cunt, bumping against your clit tauntingly.

“Alright, princess,” he breathed, dragging the tip along your slit, “why don’t you give them a show for daddy, hm?”

This time, your reply came in the form of an elongated moan as he sunk into your heat, the stretch coming with ease after Changbin’s size, yet the length making your toes curl.

“Oh, god-”

There was no opportunity for a pause, not when you were miles beyond prepped and ready; the orgasm Minho previously gave you, paired with the second one Changbin gently guided you toward yet kept from tipping over, leaving you with a bubble that was ready to burst within minutes.

“F-Fuck, daddy,” you keened, pressing your hips into his own in feigned hopes of getting him impossibly deeper, “please, please fuck me.”

Chris ran his tongue over his bottom lip, eyes glued to the way your pussy wrapped around his length, as he nodded, “Hands, baby.”

A shiver of excitement shot down your spine and you complied almost immediately, using the pillow to keep your head propped up as you worked your arms behind your back, the warmth of his hand easily finding your wrists and pinning them.

With you set up to his liking, he slowly pulled out just about halfway before driving his hips forward with force, the added balance of his right foot planted on the bed adding to his power.

He was definitely going to blow your back out.

It didn’t take long for him to find the perfect rhythm, nor did it take long for the room to be filled with your high pitched moans and gasps, and the slap of your ass against his thighs - the ripples slowly, but surely, turning your limbs to jelly.

“Our perfect girl,” he gritted out, the grip on your hip and wrists tightening marginally, “letting us admire you for the beautiful gem you are - take turns with this gorgeous body of yours.”

It wasn’t news that they were constantly in awe of you, with and without your clothes on - you were the brightest star in their night sky, you were the puzzle piece they finally found to complete their lives separately and together - and they never failed to remind you of how loved you were.

“But, you know you’re so much more than that, don’t you, princess?” Chris tilted his head to catch a glimpse of your face, eyes fogged and unfocused, lips parted with endless moans tumbling through, “You’re so much more than just your body to us.”

“C-Chris!” You managed to choke out between a whimper, his loving sentiments paired with the unyielding strokes of his cock to your deepest, sweetest parts turning your brain to mush, though your body responded in the best way it could.

He hissed at the telltale clench of your walls, a shiver running down his spine as he nodded mindlessly, “Already? It’s alright, baby, you can come for me - don’t hold back, yeah? Give it to me - give it all to me.”

Your body reacted faster than your mind could at his command, your orgasm barrelling toward you at a speed that had your hands balling into fists; every muscle in your body tensing and clenching until the thread snapped with one more well angled thrust. Mouth falling open with a silent scream, the only sound you were able to hear was your own heartbeat as your vision went white.

The first thing to return to you was your hearing, the muffled thumps of your heart fading out into loud, heavy pants - though you knew for a fact that breathing wasn’t just you. The next sense to return was touch, the slightly damp sheets underneath you grounding you back to reality as your eyes fluttered open only to land on an unexpected face.

“Sungie?”

“Jagi, if I swap to ‘Team Ass’ can you do that for me, too?” Jisung’s face was ripe with blush, though his eyes were wide and wild with lust that had your abdomen clench almost painfully.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you frowned lightly, “Do what?”

“You squirted, muse,” Hyunjin murmured beside him, awe laced in his tone, “that was so fucking hot.”

Oh.

It wasn’t until you went to move your arms that you realized Chris was still keeping you pinned - and a second later you realized he was still inside of you.

“Channie?”

“I-I’m okay, I-” Relinquishing his hold on you, his hands instantly went to your hips, thumbs tracing nondescript shapes against your skin, “I just… I need a minute, ‘m sorry.”

“No, no, baby, it’s okay, take your time.” Working yourself onto your hands, your lower back eternally grateful for the relief, you took a quick scan of the empty room, “Where’d everyone else go? Did I genuinely pass out?”

“No - honestly, you were only out for like, a minute, but after you, uh, came, we started the aftercare checklist.” Hyunjin’s hand reached out to wipe away a hint of saliva at the corner of your lips, “Hannie and I are on talk-down duty, Felix is running you a bath, Jeongin’s getting you a washcloth, Seungmin is getting you water while Minho’s starting on dinner, and Changbin is getting the laundry Chan was too fucked out to get himself.”

“I’m not fucked out,” the eldest groaned as he lazily turned his head toward the artist, “it was just a really intense orgasm, alright?”

With enough energy worked up, he pulled his hips away from yours as his softening dick slipped from your pussy, a shared hiss of overstimulation escaping you both in the process.

“Holy shit… Intense is a fucking understatement, she’s dripping so much.”

You bristled at Jisung’s words, though you could feel the reality of the situation currently oozing its way down your clit and undoubtedly landing against the stained bed sheet.

“Fuck, it’s like a river… Am I allowed to be jealous right now?”

“Han, please.” Chris groaned, embarrassment evident in his tone, “We get it, I come a lot, but I really don’t know what you have to be jealous about.”

Ducking your head with a barely contained laugh, you shook your head before meeting Jisung’s stare, “Next time, you’ll be the one almost folded in half and stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, okay?”

“I got the water, but it’s gonna cost you-” Seungmin stopped in his tracks as he rounded the bed, his eyes locking onto the mess between your legs, “What- You turned her into an overstuffed twinkie!”

“Seungmin!”

✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @maximumkillshot, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @specialstay, @s00buwu, @tinyelfperson, @jj-stay, @katsukis1wife, @inlovewithmusician, @keen-li, @armystay89, @main-character0, @vampcharxter, @ddyskz, @prettymiye0n, @bbgnyx, @ivyisnotokay, @bahng-chrizz, @milknhoneyracha, @hann1bee, @palindrome969, @newhope8, @softkissfelix, @luvyev, @luminouskalopsia, @kpopsstuffs, @luvyev, @starquokka, @wolfs-howling, @broken-glowsticks, @j-onedrabbles, @dawninnie, @junglyric, @piercedddriver, @sometimesleeknows, @mahklathekpopqueen

✧. ┊If your username is in bold italics that means tumblr won't let me tag you. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form!

[lazysoulwriter]

proud of you. pedro pascal. ── .✦

requested! thank you. content: secret relationship, age gap, graduation, emotional reveal, going public, soft!pedro, proud boyfriend energy

---

you didn’t see him in the crowd.

not when you walked across the stage, heart pounding under your gown. not when you shook hands with the dean or heard your name echo across the auditorium.

but you felt him.

like warmth on the back of your neck. like the steadying rhythm in your chest when everything felt too loud.

and then — when the ceremony ended and you stepped into the sunshine, blinking through the blur of caps and cameras and cries of “we did it!” — you heard his voice.

low. familiar. yours.

“you did it, baby.”

you turned.

and there he was.

standing a little apart from the crowd, sunglasses tucked into his shirt, flowers in his hands and emotion written all over his face.

you froze.

“pedro,” you whispered.

he smiled, eyes soft. “hi, graduate.”

you rushed into his arms, the cap almost falling off your head as he pulled you in tight.

“what are you doing here?” you murmured into his chest. “you said you couldn’t—”

“i lied.”

you pulled back just enough to look up at him. “what if someone saw?”

he paused.

then handed you the flowers, like it was a peace offering. or a promise.

“i don’t care anymore.”

your heart stuttered.

“p,” you whispered, “you know what they’ll say.”

he nodded. “they’ll say a lot of things. but you know what i’ll say?”

you blinked.

“i’ll say i’m proud of you. i’ll say you’ve worked your ass off and i’ve loved you quietly through every all-nighter and every breakdown. and now?” he smiled, voice thick, “now i want to love you out loud.”

your breath caught.

“you’re not embarrassed?” you asked, quietly.

“are you kidding? you just got your degree. you’re brilliant. i’m the lucky one.”

you leaned into him again, lips brushing his jaw.

“…what are you gonna do?”

he reached for his phone, thumb hovering over his camera roll.

and then, right there — outside the auditorium, with hundreds of graduates and parents and professors bustling around — he snapped a photo.

just the two of you.

you in your cap and gown, beaming.

him, holding you like you’re everything.

later, he’d post it with a simple caption:

so proud of my girl today. 🎓❤️

and the internet?

the internet would melt.

IS THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND?? she just graduated?? omg he’s so proud i’m crying they look so happy together it should be illegal age gap discourse OUT — supportive Pedro IN.

but none of that would matter right now.

because he was here.

because you were his.

because, finally, the whole world could see it.

---

✦ please do not copy, repost, or translate this work. © lazysoulwriter // i write with a lot of love and care, so please respect that.

---

taglist: @sarahhxx03 @lloydmustache @lolareadsimagines @greenwitchfromthewoods @silksepia @pascalswiftie @itstokyo-cos @mani-pedro @llsister @authorbriannarae13 @introvrtedjellyfish @aj0elap0l0gist @spencercmlover @cixrosie @cherrqbaby @cup-half-full-of-anxiety @joelmillerpascal @freakbobcult @sunlightpleasure@barnes70stark @mooniscrying @ohnaurshayla @croissantbakerylws @nellispunk @kasienka @taylorswiftsrep-blog @emerencedaily @byzyz @noovaarq @kristend512 @alltounwell @libbyaller @beaagiannelli @broad-shouldrs @oceanmcu @kysosa @melloispunk @jollycupcakeblizzard @angvlicsoulll @needz1nk @daddypascal17 @agustdpeach @mrsbilicablog @k4t13ispunk @hotdadlvr95 @lnnysnts @pedropascalfan221 @queenofklonnie22 @christinamadsen @ilovecheriies @stvr-bloom

---

[bringthekaos]

I'm excited for your thoughts on the new season if/when you share them

It has legit taken me 3 days to come to terms with Act 1. Enough to be able to speak about it. Gunna apologize in advance for the wall of text, and I’m hiding it under a break for spoiler reasons. Also prefacing with these are all just my opinions. All are free to disagree with me and RB with discussions/theories etc. just don’t be a dick about it, I’m not engaging in any discourse.

Ok. So. I have mixed feelings, and I’m aware that this is because I don’t have the whole story yet. So this is all contingent on how the rest of the season plays out.

First and foremost, I’m… wildly swinging back and forth between love and disappointment for Viktor’s arc. So first the negative, and I’ll try to keep it brief because a lot of people have already expressed this and I don’t need to be beating that particular dead horse.

Viktor has had his agency, his bodily autonomy, his original ideas and nearly everything that made him Viktor stripped away. Nothing so far has been his choice. And while this could have worked just fine for an original character, he wasn’t. So there is a massive disconnect between what this character was/should have been. In League, it was all his choice (albeit with a healthy dose of mental illness thrown in, but still). AND it was very heavily suggested that many of the augmentations he performed weren’t as extensive as he lead everyone to believe (namely the controlling/dousing of his emotions). But it appears that whatever the Hexcore did to him, it’s real. He is clearly having a difficult time accessing his emotions, and if he can feel anything, it is limited to the point of him being completely stoic. And the thing with stoic characters is that you obliterate any emotional payoff for the audience. It’s very hard to make an audience feel an emotional connection to a character’s story arc when they themselves don’t feel anything (I have a theory about this though, but I’ll address it a little later in this post). And then there is the issue of Blitzcrank. Blitz was Viktor’s whole world, after his exile. How are they going to swing that? Like, I’m not even asking for Blitz to be in Arcane (that would be great, but I really don’t think they have time). But I stg if they take Blitz away from Viktor, make them someone else’s invention (my suspicion is Heimer or he finds the idea in Sky’s journal)… I’m sorry but no. This was Viktor’s idea, Viktor’s genius. I will genuinely be extremely upset if they take that from him too.

Then there is the whole situation with Sky. First, this girl was fridged. She was nothing but a plot device and continues to be just that. It feels hollow and forced, especially now that he’s hallucinating her as some sort of penance for what he did. (I have seen the prevalent theory that it’s the Hexcore using her image and his guilt to manipulate him, given that it “ate” her, and we have seen it “manipulate” him before when it punished him for trying to destroy it). But back to Sky—he barely acknowledged that poor girl. The reason for that can be argued, whether it’s because he’s gay or because he was just so wrapped up in his one-track minded research. But regardless, there just wasn’t enough setup between those two for this whole thing to have as much weight and meaning as I think it’s supposed to. Honestly to me (TO ME) it reeks of comphet. It feels like that random woman they threw at Poe Dameron to No Homo him. I’m not even asking for Jayvik canon. But the creators were well aware of this ship, after all it’s the second most popular ship in this show and it’s been around since 2012 when Jayce was literally created for Viktor. I’m asking for the bare minimum here—that it’s left open-ended as it was in League, open for interpretation.

Last negative I have is the whole Viktor Jesus thing. The first problem is I am pretty violently agnostic, and messiah narratives have never spoken to me. I don’t enjoy them, they feel weak. The whole “ordained by a higher power” thing is just… stale. Especially when this character originally had no higher power, he gave it to himself through his own hard work and ingenuity. Honestly, Viktor’s original arc is about as far from a Jesus allegory as you can possibly get. And I am absolutely terrified that they’re going to end said Jesus arc the way you’d expect—with him dying for it. Which leaves the moral of his story “disabled man should have just accepted that he was going to die despite the fact that it was the oppression and xenophobia of Piltover that left him out to dry, without proper health care, accessibility, equality, or equity that lead to his terminal diagnosis to begin with.” Which is a very oppressor-centric narrative and we do not need another one of those.

Sorry, I know I said I’d keep the negatives brief, and that was… not. My bad. But moving on!

I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, I did. I am working to embrace this new Viktor narrative and work it into my brain in a way that doesn’t ruin the ship for me. So without further ado, the positives.

Jayce.

Jayce.

Jayce.

I’d have to go back and time it, but it feels like he got more screen time in this first act than the entirety of the first season combined, and his character shined for it. It humanized him in ways season one never did. He’s caring, he’s devoted, and he loved Viktor! No matter what kind of love you think it is, it proves he loved Viktor without a doubt. He carried Viktor several city blocks to the lab to save him, and then YES, he broke his promise about the Hexcore because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him!

And he’s funny! (The scene where he picks up the regular sized hammer in the fight against Renni and made that “this is ironic” face?? And then basically the entire interaction with Ekko? The hand me a tome thing, and then when he basically pulled this when Ekko suggested “so this is all your fault cuz you pissed off the Arcane”:

GOD that shit was great. Jayce’s personality just shined, and maybe it’s too much to hope, but maybe this will douse a little of the hate. Because instead of being a subtle hint at all of those things being true about him, it’s now overt. And when people lack media literacy, the hints have to be overt.

And th-the. The h. The HUG SCENE. I don’t think I will ever emotionally recover from that scene. Starting with Viktor who, despite being clearly emotionally—I dunno, vacant I guess—sounded so lost and scared when he said “what am I?” For me, it was whispers of that scene from The Last Unicorn: “what have you done to me?” And my poor sweet Jayce, who clearly hasn’t left this damn lab except to go to Cassandra’s memorial. Sleeping on the desk and bleeding through his bandages because he doesn’t want to spend a moment away from Viktor while he “recovers.” And his euphoric response when he finds Viktor alive, when he realizes he hasn’t lost him. And I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY, goddamn. I said in a post that “Jayce will not understand.” I thought that was how Arcane was gunna start the divorce. But Jayce genuinely did not care, as long as his lover friend was alive. And just… Jayce being so affectionate through this entire scene. The hug obviously, but also blurting things he thought he’d never get to say to Viktor—“I’m resigning from the council, my place was always here in the lab with you.”

And… the hug itself. I know we’re all analyzing it frame by goddamn frame, but I see exactly what everyone else sees—there is a moment where Viktor very subtly smiles. But it’s gone in an instant, and it turns bittersweet. LOOK AT HIM.

There is something there, it’s just buried. Deep beneath the surface. It seems to say “I want this, I have wanted this for so long.” But then he realizes something, something I don’t think we’re meant to understand yet. Maybe that he doesn’t feel anything about it anymore, and he recognizes that this should upset him and it doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s something more along the lines of “it’s too late.” Whatever it is, I think this is the exact moment he knows he has to walk away. Because he knows he’ll cave to the affection, he said it himself. (Which is another thing entirely. His voice changes when he says that. Something in him is reacting to that word. Maybe he’s fighting against it, or maybe he’s fighting to get it back. But something made him almost growl that word.)

Which leads me to my final thought (for this post anyway, cuz it’s turning into a novel); Viktor is still in there. He can still feel things, I just think they’re extremely muted by whatever the Hexcore did/continues to do to him, or he has to fight to express them. Because he also smiled at the hallucination of Sky after he “cured” Huck. And if he feels nothing, he wouldn’t have been “joyous” at the thought of her being proud of him, approving of the good things he’s trying to do in her memory. He wouldn’t crave that validation, that vindication from her. So I’m hopeful that we start to see this shell crack a little, especially if those visions of Sky are the Hexcore manipulating him through guilt. It will start to erode him, no matter how stoic he has become. And literally the only thing I’m clinging to is that Jayce will see this and try to pull him out. “He’s still in there and I have to save him.” And that maybe it’ll start to work.

[jasmineandcedar]

“Put it on me” | Elriel and gendered views on lust and agency

I discovered ACOTAR in 2018. They became like comfort books during the pandemic, and I have reread them many times since then. Particularly, it was Azriel and Elain that grabbed my heart with both hands and wouldn’t let go. Still, I feel equally as impacted by their story six years later. Specifically, it’s the depiction of a deep connection developing between two quieter individuals and how SJM has written them to be the key to the other's character progression in such a tender way, that I seem unable to get over.

When I joined this fandom two months ago, a lot of things surprised me.

One thing being how parts of the fandom have framed Azriel and Elain’s relationship when it comes to lust, after Azriel’s BC. It has fascinated me and made me reflect on my own reading of the introduction of lust into their relationship, and since this blog is where I put my Elriel ramblings, I wanted to write down my thoughts on it.

Lust, agency and consent

Did Azriel feel lust in his BC? Yes. Thank the Lord. However...

I would like to start not with Azriel, but with Elain. Because what puzzles me the most is not that Azriel is at times mischaracterised as only lusting after Elain. This mischaracterisation seems mostly rooted in denial over where SJM is heading with Azriel and Elain, and the preference for another direction. I think it is rooted in shipwar discourse, and I don’t want to get involved in that. It doesn’t bother me what people ship. And after four books of sweet Elriel moments and the very clear thematic trajectory SJM has put Elain and Azriel on, we know it is an obvious mischaracterisation. I’ll just ignore it.

What puzzles me the most is not that. What puzzles me is that Elain’s agency is often removed when SJM's depiction of Azriel and Elain is criticized. And I wonder, why is Elain's lust disregarded? Elain is the driver of everything that happens in that almost kiss of the BC, and it’s so beautiful. It is such a good and heart-stopping sneak peek into the direction of her book that I was ready to join Azriel on my knees before Elain when I read it.

“It's beautiful," she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows whisk away the box as she said softly, "Put it on me?" His head went quiet. But he took the necklace, opening the clasp as she exposed her back, sweeping her hair up in one hand to bare her long, creamy neck. He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin. Letting them brush the side of her throat, savoring the velvet-soft texture. Elain shivered, and he took a damn long time fastening the clasp. Azriel's fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck. It had never gone this far. They'd exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching. Wrong -- it was so wrong. He didn't care. He needed to know what the skin of her neck tasted like. What those perfect lips tasted like. Her breasts. Her sex. He needed her coming on his tongue -- Azriel's cock strained behind his pants, aching so fiercely he could hardly think. He prayed she didn't peer down. Prayed she didn't understand the shift in his scent. He had only allowed himself these thoughts in the dead of night. Had only allowed his hand to fist his cock and think about her then, when even his shadows had gone to sleep. How that beautiful face might appear as he entered her, what sounds she'd make. Elain bit her lower lip, and it took every ounce of Azriel's restraint to keep from putting his own teeth there. "I should go," Elain said, but made no move to leave. "Yes," he said, his thumb sweeping in long strokes along the side of her throat. Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He'd beg on his knees for a chance to taste it. But Azriel just stroked her neck again. Elain shuddered, drifting closer. So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest. She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence. But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it. “Yes" Elain breathed, like she read the decision. Just this taste in the dead of the longest night of the year, where only the Mother might witness them. Azriel's hand slid up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain's mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before fluttering shut. Offer and permission. He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers.

Azriel is in the backseat in that scene. Every action of Azriel’s is a reaction to Elain’s consent. Elain is the opposite of an object of his lustful thoughts in that scenario. She’s steady as a rock, initiating every escalation of their almost kiss, even if her hands were trembling when she gave him her gift. I have to admit, I might have had tears in my eyes when I read that the first time. There was Elain, hands trembling, acting on her deeply held value that love can trump a mating bond. And Azriel is the antithesis of someone simply lusting after another when he responds to her cues of consent.

That kind of lust? Wholly dignifying. Holy and dignifying. If I had a religion, that stuff would be it. Beautiful. It's a timeless essence of romance.

This is Elriel’s kind of lust:

Elain sneaking out at night, defying the social expectations and pressures that have plagued her all her life. And when she finds Azriel there too, like a wonderful manifestation of her reclamation of agency, she acts. Confronted with yet another expectation thrown at her – the mating bond – she has decided to not fall in line this time. She is coming to know herself and her values – that “love could trump a mating bond”, that a mate is not entitled to her time and affection, that she “belongs to no one”, and that she can give her heart to whom she wishes. And then she acts. She chooses the one who always saw her.

What more? Azriel’s desperate longing, him staring at her gift for a year. Nesta noticing the pain in his eyes. Cassian noticing he is troubled. Azriel staying away for a year because they can’t have each other. And then, as he is miserably brooding in the sitting room after everyone has gone to sleep, there she is, like a lovely manifestation of the sunlight he was robbed of all his childhood. Only this time, he doesn’t stay away – because she invites him in. The substance of Azriel’s lustful thoughts? He’s thinking of her pleasure. Wanting desperately to make her feel good. Waiting for her invitation. Wanting to fall to his knees. Being mindful of how her noticing his arousal might affect her. And then, there it is – she’s aroused too! And then, her invitation - offer and permission – simultaneously one of the most beautiful and hottest lines in the series.

Elain has had such an impact on Azriel that her actions and encouragement (throughout the entire series) has him starting to slowly win his centuries long battle against demons telling him he’s not worthy of romantic love. Azriel pre-Elain is stagnant and miserable. Azriel after meeting Elain is on a trajectory towards character progression. Like Elain has done with Azriel since day one, she once again leans into his touch and encourages it in the BC, and he is fighting his intrusive thoughts of self-loathing because of her.

And what does Azriel do for Elain? He holds back and is attentive. He sees her, like he always has, and doesn’t act without invitation – he waits for her to exert that agency that is the key to her character progression. There is so much beautiful consent between them, I feel like I’ll evaporate into dust if I think too much about it because my brain can’t handle the beauty of it all... I'm starting to evaporate...

This kind of lust? DIGNIFYING.

The good stuff is in between the lines

I get that Elain and Azriel are quiet and subtle, and most characters in ACOTAR aren’t. We have to read them a little differently. There’s nearly only showing instead of telling when it comes to them. But that means we need to really look at what we’ve been shown - we have to read between the lines (which is so exciting!). SJM has shown a beautiful connection between them being built across several books. It was such a blessing to get a tiny sneak peek into Azriel’s mind and see how they communicate without words. We have seen it on page throughout four books, ever since the first dinner with the three brothers and three sisters when Elain sought quiet reassurance in Azriel, and he gave it to her without using a single word.

After all of those sweet moments across several books, if there’s one relationship that cannot reasonably be stamped with the “just lust” label, it is theirs. We didn’t need to hear Azriel describe the intricacies of his love for Elain’s personality in the BC. We have been shown how he’s drawn to her, without lust involved, for two years across several books. Lust is the natural next step.

That doesn't mean he didn't show us his love for her personality in the BC.

Isn't connecting the dots part of what makes reading exciting?

Here are some dots to connect:

The headache powder

Azriel mentions he has had it on his bedside table at HoW to simply stare at when he’s trying to fall asleep. That tells us that the headache powder is profoundly meaningful to him. It also tells us that Azriel is not just some dark and stone-cold torturer and Spymaster. He is, in fact, a deeply sentimental person. Someone who feels a lot. Someone who is profoundly impacted by a meaningful gift. The headache powder that Elain gave him, which made him feel joy that Feyre had never seen in him before, during that Solstice night which was the turning point for Azriel’s feelings for Elain. The point where his feelings for her became so strong, he had to stay away because the torment of them not being able to be together was too much (the torment that Nesta sees in his eyes during their second Solstice).

All of this is in the same BC (and in the books), and it is Azriel implicitly describing the process of falling in love with Elain because she’s kind and attentive and caring, because the gift of the headache powder is a product of those personality traits of hers.

To communicate without talking

Azriel struggles to talk about his emotions – Rhys says no one really knows how he feels. Not even his family whom he’s known for 500+ years.

[Rhys about what Azriel feels about his job as interrogator/torturer] “But Azriel … Cassian tries, I try—but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit to any sort of feeling is Mor. And that’s only when she’s pestered him to the point where even his infinite patience has run out”’ (ACOMAF).

Azriel didn’t need to be pestered. All he needed was peace and quiet, someone like Elain. Because here we have Elain, and Azriel lets us know she understands his emotional struggles without him putting them into words.

He offered her a smile back. "I wasn't sure if I should give you your present." He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days.

This is in the same BC, where Azriel also acknowledges that he has never dared to utter any of these thoughts out loud. Yet he didn’t need to for Elain to understand him. This is, again, Azriel acknowledging Elain’s attentive personality and what she means to him – what kind of connection they share.

Honestly, the BC is simply a mirror to their story so far. We don’t need it, but I’m glad we got it. It’s like SJM took a mirror and held it up to Elain and Azriel’s story across four books, condensed it, introduced the element of lust, and said: “remember what I've shown you – because here’s what’s next”. (Kind of like she did with Nessian’s bonus chapter…)

The pinnacle of SJM’s writing

To round off, I think their lust is simply a beautiful and natural progression of their clearly developing romantic relationship. I think it gets misunderstood partly to support a direction of the story that is clearly not where SJM is heading, but also partly due to our gendered views on lust and agency (which is the more interesting misunderstanding in my eyes).

The way SJM progressed Elriel’s relationship in ACOSF + the BCs (both of them) perfectly sets up Elain’s book and the external and internal conflicts Elain and Azriel will have to face to continue on their arcs towards character development. To reclaim her agency (Elain), and to acknowledge his self-worth outside of his duties and usefulness to others - to see himself as worthy of romantic love (Azriel). It challenges deeply ingrained views on gender and agency in society and is such a narratively powerful story.

For me, Azriel and Elain are the pinnacle of SJM’s writing so far. She’s outdone herself with them. This is also why I trust her fully with Elain’s book. I really, truly hope SJM writes more characters like them in the future, because she knows how to write captivating yet quiet, more introverted and introspective characters – and not many do within the romantasy genre. It’s an amazing skill, and a needed one.

I think that almost kiss is one of the best depictions of consent and mutual sexual and romantic desire in the series. I’m sure there will be much more of that beautiful offer and permission when Elain’s book is out. Come to think of it, I think SJM better take all the time she needs finishing up that book because I’m not sure I’m ready for it, even after all these years.

I’ll be questioning my belief system too when Elain goes all “put it on me” again.

[papercranesong]

Confessions of a Fanfic Writer: How and why I use AI 

So more and more, I’m seeing posts about AI and the place it has in writing. While some posts express justified concerns, the general discourse seems to be degenerating into “don’t use AI” and “if you use AI you’re a horrible person”, which suppresses conversation and doesn’t really explore the nuances of how AI can be used as a tool for writers.

I’m a fanfic writer who uses AI to help me write, especially when I’m in the throes of exhaustion or depression. I don’t always use it, and when I do, I’m aware it can become a crutch. But mostly it’s transformed my writing life, because it means I can write nearly every day now, instead of waiting for those rare moments each month when the sun comes up and I’m in a good place mentally and I’m able to write. 

So I thought I’d get specific and share some ways I use it. A couple of practical points first - 

AI is a broad term, and so when I talk about AI with regard to writing, I’m referring to a subcategory of AI called LLMs - large language models like chatGPT.

I don’t allow chatGPT to train on my fics. (There’s an option to not let it train its models on any data inputted). 

Ways I use AI to help me write 

One - to help me articulate my ideas

You know when you’re so tired and unable to express yourself properly, and you end up spewing a word cloud and gesturing inarticulately in the vague hope that the other person will understand what you’re trying to say? 

So with chatGPT I type that wordcloud in along with my half-baked ideas and unfinished sentences, and then it will make sense of what I’m trying to say and reflect back to me fully-formed ideas, giving me different suggestions for what I might mean. It’s the “make it exist first, you can make it good later” adage - chatGPT helps me to make my ideas exist first. 

Two -  for constructive criticism 

I might feel like a scene is sagging or that something’s not working but I’m unable to put my finger on it. So I’ll ask - “what’s not working?” and I’ve found it to be remarkably perceptive and accurate in identifying what and why something feels off - maybe it’s the beats and pacing, list-like repetition or lack of a character’s internal reaction.

(Could I just ask a beta-reader to do this? I could, but honestly - I’m an introvert and British. It’s just too awkward for me).

Three - as a sounding board 

If I’m stuck on a scene, it offers a fresh perspective by helping me figure out the motivations of the characters or identifying the emotional counterpoint of the scene and suggesting ways to build on it.

I sometimes ask it to rewrite the scene from the perspective of a different character, or to write the scene from a sensory point of view, just to help me experience it through fresh eyes. Other writers use it to make RPGs of their fics, for similar reasons. There’s also an audio option where it narrates what you’ve written -  the voice isn’t great but just hearing the words spoken aloud allows me to listen and visualise it and gives me a fresh perspective. 

Four - as a research tool 

I like doing research and making my fics as accurate as possible, but sometimes there’s no information available for my scenarios, e.g a character bleeding out in zero-G. So I type in the scenario into ChatGPT and receive information specific to my scene - for example, if my character is bleeding out in zero-G, is that even possible? How would it appear to an onlooker? Would the bleeding happen quicker or slower than in normal gravity? Would it still feel the same? (There’s always potential for the LLM to hallucinate though, so I wouldn’t trust it as the sole authority).

Five - for proof-reading and html code 

I can spend hours checking for typos, grammar and formatting errors, and it’s a lot quicker to ask chatGPT to clean it up for me initially and then to check it myself afterwards (or the other way round). It also speeds things up with writing html code for specific formatting. 

Six - as a writing therapist 

I have pretty low self-esteem and imposter syndrome etc. In the past I would either stop writing for a while - or worse, just delete my stories. 

Now when I feel like that, I tell ChatGPT and  then it responds by having a conversation based on therapeutic techniques such as externalisation (separating harmful thoughts from your identity), reframing techniques based on CBT etc. to explore with me what I’m feeling and to help me think differently about it. 

(Could I not just turn to actual humans for this? Yes, and occasionally I do. But I don’t want to pester my online fanfic friends with my writerly angst multiple times a day. It’s not fair on them, and they’re not counsellors. But with chatGPT I can be as honest and neurotic as I like). 

Conclusion

I guess I wanted to write this little essay because: 

it felt disingenuous not to speak up about my own use of AI when people were posting about it on Tumblr and elsewhere.

to maybe challenge the assumption that the use of AI in writing is automatically deviant, shameful or wrong. 

to hopefully be an approachable  person to chat to about the use of AI in fanfic. I’d love to find a friendly space in which to talk about how to use AI well in creating fanworks, and to discuss the angst, pitfalls and ethics that come with it. (Edit: I made a Tumblr community called Writing-with-AI, let me know if you’d like the link).

Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading and for keeping an open mind. I’m always happy to chat more - feel free to DM or leave me an ask.

Finally, you might be wondering whether I used AI to write this. What do you think?

[cringecompanionapologist]

Lucky Day and The Interstellar Song Contest Aren’t Literally Kerblam to Me and Here’s Why

I enjoyed both Lucky Day and The Interstellar Song Contest. Alright. I confess. Cancel me. It’s not like I’m important. Honestly, my reason for liking these episodes was “I was entertained and not bored at all whilst watching them”. I rarely ever consciously choose media to like or dislike based on moral principles. Sometimes I will like or dislike something based on moral principles, but that’s not always the case. I sometimes feel that people watch stuff focusing more on the potential message than anything else about it, judging it to see if it passes or fails. Instead of saying that that’s the wrong way of looking at it, I’ll say that it just isn’t something I can do. 

But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t find these sorts of situations interesting. People make genuinely good points about the moral implications of stories and I’ll wonder why it Just Doesn’t Bother Me. Why do some moral fuck-ups bother me and some don’t? 

Lucky Day and The Interstellar Song contest have both been compared to Kerblam, an episode that I actually don’t like. So I’m thinking through why Kerblam bothered me and these two didn’t.

On the surface, these three episodes do some similar things with their antagonists, either deliberately giving them a good reason for their actions or accidentally giving them a good reason for their actions…maybe. In all cases, this is, in fact, a problem. But how big of a problem it is varies. I’m not going to say the episodes I like are Completely Unproblematic. Just that the problems aren’t as big as the ones they are being compared to.

In all of these episodes, I think there’s a certain dissonance between what they want to be about, and what they are perceived as being about. You could either claim this as a case of poor media literacy on the part of the audience or poor communication on the part of the writer. I can’t judge every single person who doesn’t like a given episode, so I’m not going to dismiss it as an audience problem. So, let’s just compare Kerblam, Lucky Day, and The Interstellar Song Contest, and see what’s similar and different about them.

Look. My main motivation for this is a love of overanalyzing the shit out of shows I like and that I’d rather do that than complain. This is fun for me. Scrolling through endless takes I don’t agree with is not fun for me. Debating with the people who have those takes is so not fun for me that I usually avoid doing it. So, let’s just not. Let’s have fun.

TW: Genocide! Terrorism! Torture! Eurovision! If you’re familiar with The Discourse surrounding these episodes, you know what I mean. I’ll have to bring up Israel and Palestine but I’m actively trying to go into it as little as possible. If you want more words about it, check out All of Tumblr, okay?

Here There Be Spoilers for: Planet of the Ood, The Zygon Inversion (I guess), Oxygen, Boom, and the three episodes this thing is actually about.

The thematic problems with these three episodes, and yes, they are still problems in the two I like, mostly stem from the dissonance I mentioned before. These episodes tend to want to be about one thing, but can feel like they’re about something else to a portion of the audience, and they are usually a very bad take on that something else.

Kerblam thinks it’s about automation, but it feels like it’s about workers rights. Lucky Day is about conspiracy theorists, but it feels like it’s about mistrust of the military. The Interstellar Song Contest…Okay, that one’s a bit more complicated. Let’s leave that one and come back later.

Part One: Kerblam and Capitalist Realism (yes, really)

Critics of Kerblam often talk about the antagonist Charlie as a vilified workers rights activist, but he isn’t. His intent is never to improve the conditions of workers, but to get rid of automation to provide more jobs. He wants there to be more workers. He’s not trying to get the people who are already workers better treatment. He’s a Luddite. 

During the Industrial Revolution, jobs that used to be done by hand started to be done by machine in factories. This put a lot of craftsmen out of the job. Sure, they could go work in the factories, but instead of selling their work for money, they were working for a company that took most of the money and gave them a small portion in wages. So the best case scenario was to replace your old job with a shittier job that paid less and that you had less control over. 

Now, it’s obvious that the problem here is capitalism. It’s not the machines themselves, it’s the people who own these factories setting up a system where they take the majority of the profit form other people’s work because they own the machines and the building they’re in, aka the means of production. The stuff you use to make other stuff. If the workers owned the machines by themselves or could access them freely, the automation would save them a lot of time and energy. They’d make more stuff in less time, giving them both more time and more money.

But, Luddites picked the wrong target. They blamed the machines for putting them out of the job and targeted them. That’s what Charlie is doing. He’s trying to stop automation. In a society where all jobs can be automated, having a job to have money to survive isn’t a good system. The problem is capitalism, greedy people upholding a system that’s outlived its usefulness for profit. The choice is one between inefficient work and poor conditions for human workers or automating everything and leading to mass unemployment and poverty. 

Looking at the whole situation, Charlie’s anger is justified, but he’s taking it out on the wrong thing. On top of that, his plan to turn the public against automation is…killing a bunch of innocent people, which will probably include other people with the same problems he has. He’s extremely misguided.

The problem is that the episode doesn’t seem to understand any of that. The writing of the episode is a victim of capitalist realism. If you’re wondering what the fuck that means, it’s that people are convinced that capitalism is basically the only system that even remotely works and they can’t imagine the end of capitalism or a system outside of it working. The episode cannot comprehend the idea of “why don’t we just let the machines do everything and give everyone a universal basic income so they won’t be dependent on employment to survive?” doesn’t occur to the episode. Actually, the episode kinda sorta agrees with Charlie, because he ultimately gets what he wants. The higher ups at Kerblam mention wanting to make Kerblam a more people-led company in the future. Less automation, more humans hired to work in terrible conditions doing bullshit jobs that only exist to give them some sort of job. The episode can’t think bigger than that after presenting a scenario where it kind of has to.

So those are the problems with the overall theme of the story. But wait! There’s more!

Part Two: Kerblam and the Shitty Twist at the End

Up until the reveal that Charlie’s the bad guy, the stuff we learn about Kerblam and the problems of the company have nothing to do with the theme of automation. Instead, we’re shown that the workers have no privacy and aren’t paid enough to regularly go home to see their families. Working for Kerblam sucks. That appears to be the main conflict. Yes, the Kerblam Men have a creepy design, but they represent the evils of the company. The problem isn’t that they’re robots, but that they’re being used to spy on people and cut off social interactions that might ever so slightly decrease productivity. The company itself is the cause of all the problems we see. They are obviously the bad guys here.

And then they throw in a twist. Everything bad Kerblam does is still a bad thing Kerblam does, but the guy who’s killing people is someone acting against the company and it was the AI managing the company robots that asked the Doctor for help. What have up until this point basically been the antagonist’s henchmen, are now who the Doctor is meant to help. And we’re expected to just roll with that. The established themes of the episode were red herrings to hide a plot twist and they can just be thrown out now that the twist has been revealed. None of the bad things Kerblam has done will even be acknowledged, because they were never meant to be important in the first place.

Kerblam isn’t even trying to be capitalist propaganda. The company is painted in a negative light. Kerblam just doesn’t care. The themes of the episode are thrown away so we can have a plot twist. This isn’t politically motivated bad writing. It’s just bad writing. It isn’t a story with problematic themes. It’s a story that disregards it’s themes.

Part Three: Kerblam and the Doctor

During 13’s era, the morality of the Doctor is rarely challenged. She can be factually incorrect, but never morally incorrect. If she screws up, it’s because she just didn’t know. Other incarnations of the Doctor aren’t immune to this, especially in the new series, but 13 got it significantly worse, especially in Series 11. 

Instead of just ranting about the potential problems with this, we’re going to sort of do what the show wants and just accept that that’s just how it works now. The Doctor is the moral compass of the story who will ultimately demonstrate whatever moral position the story wants the audience to take.

When the Doctor confronts Charlie, we’re supposed to agree with everything she says. Her companions, probably meant to act as audience surrogates, just back her up. Both her beliefs and her actions are supported by the characters who are usually the moral compass of Doctor Who.

The Doctor has no sympathy for Charlie at all. She also just sort of ignores that the Kerblam system killed Charlie’s girlfriend, an innocent girl, just to prove a point to him. Kira’s life is completely disregarded. Then she gives a Big Damn Lecture about how wrong Charlie is and it sucks.

There are a few points of the Big Damn Lecture that can be singled out. She tells Charlie that “This isn’t a cause.” and “You’re not an activist”. The first of these is objectively incorrect. Even if you don’t agree with his cause, Charlie is clearly motivated by a cause. The second statement is debatable. Charlie is a terrorist. He’s committing a politically motivated act of violence for the purpose of upsetting people in a way that is meant to benefit his cause. He’s not directly targeting the higher-ups of Kerblam making the decisions he disagrees with. He’s targeting innocent people to send a message to the public. He’s doing it for a cause, but it all comes down to whether or not you classify terrorism as activism. I’m not gonna start a debate on that. I’m not taking a side here because whichever side I take I won’t come out of the discourse looking good. I’ll either glorify terrorists or dismiss activists who aren’t peaceful enough, depending on the point of view of the reader. So let’s just not.

Then there’s the most infamous bit. “The systems aren’t the problem.” This line, as much as it sucks, is also sort of taken out of context. People tend to act as is the Doctor is referring to a political system here. But, she’s arguing about automation. She’s referring to the Kerblam AI as “the system” here. What was meant was, “The technology isn’t the problem. It’s how people use it and what they use it for that’s the problem.”. But, because this story is a goddamn mess, it sounds like she’s talking about capitalism. If they were referring specifically to technology, which I think they were, they should’ve just said it. The word “system” is used to refer to a variety of things. It’s too broad. Hence the confusion.

Then the Doctor sort of deliberately blows Charlie up. She has the Kerblam Men meant to deliver explosives to the masses deliver to themselves. Problem solved. She didn’t have to make the Kerblam Men detonate the explosives. She does tell Charlie to run but she gives him very little time and he freezes up in panic. The Doctor absolutely could’ve apprehended Charlie without killing him here. She just killed someone she didn’t need to kill and everyone ignores it because nobody liked that guy I guess. This is the point where you’d expect a companion to ask the Doctor if that was truly necessary and have a moment of reflection. But, because the Doctor is considered Morally Righteous in this era, this action isn’t called out.

So, I kinda had to go through Kerblam in detail to compare the others to it. That last bit is one I want you to remember. Unnecessary violence against the villain being treated as fully justified and going unquestioned. It’s one of the two things that makes Kerblam feel worse than the other two to me. The other thing is the order of information presented. Charlie is a third act twist villain. We see the evils of Kerblam first. By the time of the reveal the audience hates Kerblam more than they could possibly hate Charlie. This makes defeating him but seeing Kerblam go unpunished unsatisfying to the audience. Charlie feels like maybe A bad guy but not The Bad Guy here.

Anyway, let’s talk about the new stuff.

Part Four: Lucky Day and UNIT

Kerblam and Lucky Day were written by the same guy, so I’ll start by saying that the audience didn’t trust the writer not to do what he did in Kerblam, so they quickly pounced on the similarities. Honestly, Lucky Day does have problems with its moral, but they’re not actually the same problems as Kerblam. Actually, they’re problems that apply to this entire era of the show. We gotta talk about UNIT.

Instead of a corporation made up for the episode that the audience is given a lot of reason to dislike, we’ve got UNIT as the thing the bad guy’s trying to take down. Throughout the episode, it’s taken for granted that the audience will see UNIT as The Good Guys. The problem is that the audience didn’t do that and had good reasons to not do that.

UNIT in 15’s era are The Good Guys and, while they were always sort of allies of the Doctor, previous eras would sometimes paint them in a negative light. This started near the beginning. The second serial of the UNIT era was written by Malcolm Hulke, a communist who didn’t really like the premise of the UNIT era to begin with. So he wrote Doctor Who and the Silurians, which ends with UNIT committing genocide. 

The titual Silurians are sort of antagonists, but it’s more complicated than that. They are beings native to Earth who evolved into intelligent lifeforms before humans did. They want their planet back. You can compare this to colonialism, but not quite. You have “the people who were there first want their land back” but also…The humans here did colonialism unintentionally. They evolved on Earth and are just as native to the planet as the Silurians are. They have an equal right to it. There’s also nowhere else for 20th century humans to go, since they don’t have the technology to reach another planet capable of supporting life. So the only way the Silurians can get their planet back from the humans is to kill them.

The Doctor doesn’t want either species to genocide the other, so he tries to negociate peace. The story is a seven-parter so a lot of stuff happens, but progress is eventually made. The Silurians aren’t gonna kill all the humans. 

Then UNIT blows them up.

The Silurians were talked out of genocide, but it turns out that the humans weren’t. The Doctor is horrified. The story ends. In the next serial he’s still working with UNIT, a bit bitter about everything, but he’s still there. Malcolm Hulke basically demonstrated why the Doctor working with the military was a bad premise by having the Doctor’s peaceful solution undermined by UNIT insisting on violence. But, the show had to go on. The UNIT era was broken two stories in and yet it continued for years and everyone sort of forgot about the whole thing beyond Silurians existing.

But, the show continued to have the Doctor butt heads with the Brigadier and UNIT as an organization. They’d eventually find a way to work together, but it wasn’t always easy. Then the Doctor regenerates and pretty much immediately ditches them.

UNIT was basically reduced to the occasional cameo after around season 13, until fairly recently. Starting in new series 7, UNIT began to cameo in the new series and the cameos got more and more frequent. By 15’s era they’re routine. Ncuti Gatwa really likes the Third Doctor, the Doctor of the UNIT era, so it makes sense that it’s happening now. The people who grew up with the classic series, RTD’s generation, grew up with UNIT from the perspective of a child, easily missing moral nuance. UNIT was cool if you didn’t notice the moments when they weren’t. This influenced the new series version of UNIT.

This isn’t always the case, of course. The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion two-parter does have UNIT on the war path and the Doctor needing to give a big speech about how war is hell because he definitely knows that now. The Third Doctor’s pacifism was an abstract moral philosophy. The Twelfth Doctor’s pacifism comes from experience of war and violence. New series Doctors are actually in a better position to deliver an anti-war message than classic Doctors are.

So, there’s that, but that was a decade ago. UNIT in 15’s era are supposed to be the good guys who carry guns but only shoot them at monsters. Lucky Day assumes the audience will view UNIT this way, and thus be against Conrad for trying to take them down. For some people, this very clearly did not work.

There’s also a certain detachment between real world politics and Doctor Who world politics to consider. Instead of thinking of UNIT as UNIT, many audience members equated them to the real world police and/or military, because they have that aesthetic. Really, if the show wants to claim they’re not as military as they previously were, they should probably tone that down. But because of this, Conrad, instead of a conspiracy theorist ruining the reputations of good people, appears as a civilian questioning unchecked military authority. But that’s only the case if you treat UNIT as if they’re the same as the real world military and you don’t really have to do that. In this era, UNIT usually isn’t used as a stand-in for the real world military, but as the people who defend the Earth when the Doctor’s not around and back him up when he is.

Part Five: Why Lucky Day Just Doesn’t Bother Me

Conrad is an asshole. As a last minute twist villain, Charlie came across as fairly likable and he seemed genuinely devoted to his cause and because of Kira we know he’s capable of actually caring about people. Conrad is also a twist villain, but the twist is revealed halfway through the episode instead of towards the end, giving more time to show Conrad being overtly evil. The way he treats Ruby is terrible in a way that feels more grounded than all the alien stuff. As for his cause…he tried to join UNIT. At some point, he did believe in aliens and the like, but when he started spreading conspiracy theories for revenge, he began to believe his own lies. He isn’t sincere and he if he is doing anything right, it’s for the wrong reasons.

Then there’s the bit I mentioned about how Charlie dies. Lucky Day doesn’t make that mistake. First, the Doctor isn’t there for the final confrontation, which means that the actions UNIT takes against him are not endorsed by him. In fact, Kate says that the Doctor wouldn’t approve of what she’s doing. Kate’s actions against Conrad are not treated as morally right, even if Conrad is a bastard who deserves some sort of punishment.

Kate is in charge of the situation here and she ends up in a situation pretty typical for the Doctor. She’s pushed too far and starts being cruel to the villain beyond what is necessary. And Ruby, the companion, the traditional moral compass of the show, tells her to stop. Shirley also tells her to stop and as a member of UNIT, she sort of fills a companion role for Kate. When the Doctor does violence that the companion doesn’t approve of, that’s the show saying he’s in the wrong. This applies to Kate in this scene. Conrad did bad things and deserves some sort of punishment, but letting him get eaten by a monster is considered too far. Ruby gets to put a stop to it. Out of everyone in the room, Ruby was the one personally victimized by Conrad the most. She still tells him to go to hell. It’s clear that Ruby, and therefore the show, doesn’t forgive Conrad. She, and therefore the show, just doesn’t believe he deserves a violent death.

Part Six: The Interstellar Song Contest and Let’s Get This Part Over With

Alright. We’re gonna need to address the elephant in the room here. Space Eurovision. Anyone boycotting real Eurovision are going to be immediately on edge just hearing the premise. By this point, there is basically nothing this episode can do to come out of this looking good to this portion of the audience. Because everything in this season was years in the making, the idea to do Space Eurovision probably got started before October 7, 2023. Big Finish already did it during the Wilderness Years. Yes, I know, people were boycotting Eurovision for including Israel because of human rights violations in Palestine before the fall-out of October 7. But, it was then that things really heating up. Protesting human rights violations became very specifically protesting genocide. You can argue about how long what’s going on in Palestine has been genocide, but this is the point where pretty much anyone can see that it is.

So, doing a Space Eurovision episode is somewhat tone deaf and the actual story does feel like it’s commenting on current events. But, I enjoyed the episode for what it is. I can break down what the episode has to say and say that, at it’s worst, it’s applying typical kid show morality to a situation that it might not apply to. 

Part Seven: The Interstellar Song Contest and the Cycle of Violence

Let’s take a moment and stop talking about specific real world atrocities and focus on those atrocities in general. This episode isn’t about a specific genocide, but it definitely has stuff to say about genocide. Like that it’s bad and stuff. Really, what we’re getting is a pretty typical message about war and violence for a family show. Please remember that Doctor Who is, in fact, a show that is at least partially aimed at children. Any morals the show teaches are usually for the child audience, not the adult audience, though they can acknowledge them.

The Interstellar Song Contest is about the cycle of violence. It’s an abnormally violent episode despite nobody actually dying. 100,000 people are nearly killed in an act of terrorism and the deaths of 3 trillion more are stopped at the last minute. The terrorists themselves are victims of genocide done purely in the name of capitalism. The Doctor snaps and fucking tortures a guy. It’s a lot.

I mentioned the order of events in Kerblam. We spend a bunch of time focusing on the evils of the company and are then expected to forget about it after the twist. The Hellions being victims of genocide is a twist in this episode. They’re terrorists and the audience is told they’re Bad Guys from the Planet Bad Guy, which is actually a pretty common trope in Doctor Who. There are these aliens and they all suck. Who cares why.

This episode cares why. Turns out the Hellions were probably totally normal people who were victims of genocide. But a lot of people say “victims of genocide” and leave it at that. The Hellions weren’t victims of genocide because of bigotry. The genocide came first. The company destroyed the planet for profit and then vilified the Hellions, convincing the public that they’d done it to themselves. They caused the bigotry, or at least played into whatever was already there, to cover their asses.

In Kerblam, we got the evil company before the terrorism. In The Interstellar Song Contest, it’s the other way round. Kerblam’s twist throws out all previous themes. The Interstellar Song Contest’s twist puts the antagonists in a new light.

But, they’re still the antagonists. The Hellions aren’t, but the two who are trying to kill more people than a single planet could contain still are. But the species is no longer what’s being vilified. Instead, the nameless company very clearly started it. They committed genocide for profit, now two Hellions are committing terrorism for revenge. Terrorism on a scale that would probably wipe out the populations of multiple planets. They plan to commit more genocide. Even if we understand what drove them to this, even if we’re sympathetic, they still have to be stopped.

So the Doctor stops them. And then he immediately crosses a line, torturing Kid, the leader of the group. This isn’t portrayed as just. It’s portrayed as horrific. Susan tells the Doctor to stop and he doesn’t. It isn’t until Belinda shows up, a companion in the room with him witnessing what was happening, that he finally stops. It is, in fact, a problem that the show kind of moves on from this moment because there’s a million things going on and we gotta set up the finale.

Then we get the episode’s finale. Cora, another Hellion who’d disguised herself as a Trion (omfg Trion reference!!!), sings a song of her planet and people and everyone’s moved to tears, stunned silence, and then applause. I’ve seen complaints that this is a message about “protesting genocide the right way”, but it isn’t. It’s not about protesting genocide at all.

Here’s the piece that seems to be missing, the part where I really think critics are projecting real world events onto a fictional counterpart so hard that they don’t see the differences between the two. The Hellion genocide isn’t portrayed as something in progress. They talk about the destruction of the planet in the past tense, as if its already happened. Hellia is gone and any survivors have gone to other planets, at least one of them hiding her species to avoid prejudice. Cora’s song isn’t an act of protest. It’s an act of mourning. She sings a song of her world to mourn it. If you want to think of it as activism, she’s mourning publicly. The public have been told that the Hellions destroyed their own planet. But now they’re mourning it publicly. Clearly they lost something. Outsiders begin to have empathy for the Hellions for the first time. 

Will this solve everything? No. It is, in fact, a problem that we don’t see or hear what this leads to. We’re never told that the company is punished in any way. There are no representatives of the company present and the Doctor has to move on. We can’t go out of our way to nuke a factory or something. The season plot gets in the way of the episode’s ending which is, in fact, a problem.

It’s pretty common for Doctor Who, when a corporation is the antagonist, to not show the corporation be taken down, even if we’re told it is. The corporation’s current evil plan is thwarted and we leave it at that. 

As usual, when I mention something in Doctor Who being common, that doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions. Planet of the Ood comes to mind. The entire institution of Ood slavery is pretty clearly dead by the end of the episode and the boss man’s been turned into an Ood and will be good now. 

So, Doctor Who can Do the Thing, but it usually doesn’t. Boom doesn’t. The war against nothing is stopped but the company that funded it…well the Doctor apparently already stopped it sometime in the company’s future offscreen. So we know it will be destroyed, at least. Oxygen has the Doctor just say the survivors of the episode filed a complaint and then Space Capitalism was ended forever and ever. Because of the peaceful, mundane act of filing a complaint.

I will say that Boom and Oxygen handle the evil corporation plots better. The Doctor doesn’t take either of them down in the episode, but we know that someone will. It is, in fact, a problem that The Interstellar Song Contest leaves this unclear. 

Looking at all the Evil Corp as Antagonist examples I gave, there’s another difference between them and The Interstellar Song Contest. In Planet of the Ood, Oxygen, and Boom, the Doctor lands in the middle of things. The corporation is in the process of doing The Bad Thing and the Doctor stops the process. In The Interstellar Song Contest, he arrives too late. He doesn’t land on Hellia while the genocide was in progress. He lands on a station after it already happened. Evil Corp here could be stopped in general. They could be shut down. But there’s no stopping the genocide that’s already been carried out. It’s too late to save Hellia. It’s already gone. All that can be done is make everyone aware of what the company did and hope they’re held accountable.

To take a moral stand, that’s the difference between Hellia and Palestine. Palestine is still there. There is something left to save.

Let’s circle back to the cycle of violence thing. None of the violence depicted here is motivated by a desire for change like Charlie’s was in Kerblam. If the genocide’s already happened, the terrorism isn’t in protest of it. It’s revenge for it. It’s killing trillions of people who weren’t knowingly involved at an event the company that did the genocide is sponsoring to maybe make them look bad, for the purpose of revenge. 

Then we reach the interesting part. The cycle of violence continues within the story. The company’s violence leads to Kid’s violence which leads to the Doctor’s violence, which isn’t treated as any more justified than the violence that inspired it. The Doctor accuses Kid of just wanting an excuse to hurt people, denying his sympathetic motivation, because the Doctor’s too angry to care. Belinda has already commented that he’s not acting like himself. The attempted murder of trillions of people including his companion completely sent him over the edge. He hurts Kid not out of a sense of justice but because he’s angry and he wants revenge and/or to take his rage out on someone. His motivations aren’t that far off from Kid’s by this point. The cycle of violence isn’t something happening purely to one-off characters that the Doctor can shame for it. It’s gotten to him too.

When Belinda stops the Doctor, it’s meant to be a stop to the cycle of violence. Because none of this violence is to achieve a real goal. It’s not a calculated strategy to achieve change. It’s just lashing out in anger, causing other people to lash out in anger right back.

Part Eight: The Interstellar Song Contest and Morals for Children

As brutal as the presentation is, the moral is simply that violence begets violence, a normal moral for a show aimed at kids. It doesn’t really apply the moral to real world situations, but to violence in general. The act of violence, lashing out in revenge, is stopped and replaced by an act of mourning that inspires compassion. The cycle of violence is stopped by compassion, meaning caring about other people, and empathy, understanding other people as people and seeing from their point of view. It’s a message that won’t solve the violence of the present, but maybe discourage violence in the future. That’s why we teach kids that violence is bad, even if there’s more nuance in practice. If a generation doesn’t believe in violence, then the acts of violence that require violence in return won’t happen. The cycle could stop someday. 

Adults engage in the political present. Children will engage in the political future. Morals for adults are about what to do in an unjust world. Morals for children are about how to create a just one. Ultimately, like it or not, The Interstellar Song Contest is normal. It was written by adults, so contemporary political issues might get mixed in, but the message isn’t for those adults. They’re not telling us how to stop an ongoing genocide. They’re trying to instill a mindset in our children that might prevent a future one.

Epilogue:

I never know how to end these things. Those are my thoughts. Lucky Day and The Interstellar Song Contest have problems, but I liked them. I hate that I felt like I had to defend them morally instead of just saying “I had fun”. It’s exhausting. But, I’ve said my piece, and now I’ll have my peace. I’ve said everything I have to say so I can stop talking about it.

I’m tired. I want to move on. Sometimes I like flawed television and don’t think flawed equates to evil. I lack the righteous blood lust to stay mad at things. I am bad at canceling people. I don’t like the feeling of hating things. If that makes me a bad person, you can guillotine me after the glorious revolution. I’m sure it’ll feel good if you’re into that sort of thing.

Anyway, Trion reference! Susan! It actually is the Rani this time!

I’m going to bed.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Series Masterlist

Chapter 17

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; blood and injury; threats of SA and abuse; allusions to past SA and abuse; sexual themes.

“Daryl.”

He reached behind himself, hand finding your arm to move you closer to his back. He needed to know you were right there. You were safe. With that threat— and that man was a threat —he trusted your safety to no one else. Not Rick. Not even Carol. 

The archer turned his head toward his shoulder, his eyes remaining forward. “If I tell ya to run, ya run.”  You didn’t reply, but he knew you’d heard. 

Jazz stood at the gate, his posture relaxed, his smile full of smug condescension. The one Daryl knew to be Todd stood beside him, arms crossed, looking every bit the bodyguard. Three men had emerged from the same suv while another five spilled from a second car— the car Daryl had traded for your freedom. They were quite clearly the lackeys, keeping the dead at a distance. 

“Is no one going to invite us in?” Jazz was staring down Rick, who gave a nod to Maggie. Her hesitance to follow the order was apparent but any sort of discourse couldn’t be displayed in front of outsiders. The eldest Greene walked the gate across, opening it wide enough for the vehicles and narrowing her eyes when they left the transportation behind. She held her ground when Jazz gave her an appreciative once over. 

“Mmm, you’d make a fine addition to my roster.” The man reached toward her face. 

“Don’t touch her.” Rick warned from the second gate. Jazz looked toward the man, disappointed to find Maggie had walked away to close the gate. 

“Rick, my friend, it’s good to see you.” The woman was quickly forgotten, Jazz holding open his arms.

“I wouldn’t exactly call us ‘friends.’” The former deputy kept his tone even, hand on the lock but not yet opening it. “Leave your weapons with her.” He gestured to Maggie. Both Jazz and Todd turned to look at her, the other men keeping their eyes forward. 

“Of course. Boys.”

Everyone had begun to gather around you, easing a portion of Daryl’s anxiety. Even Glenn had taken the spot to his left instead of pursuing a place closer to Maggie. She could handle herself. You could too, they knew that now, but staring into the face of your tormentors might have proven overwhelming for you. The archer wasn’t willing to take that chance. With Carol on his right and Beth behind you, he felt you were well protected. Not enough to lower his guard.

He had run outside with you, distracted and unprepared, his weapons back next to the mattress. He never came outside unarmed. Though he couldn’t afford to occupy his mind by berating himself at that moment, he made a mental note to do so later. 

Weapons on the ground, Jazz gave Rick an expectant look, smiling coolly in the face of the man’s hesitance before the lock and chain were removed and the gate was opened. 

“How’d you find us?” Rick kept his eyes trained on the leader, cautious and prepared. 

Jazz was walking slowly, damn near strutting while appraising the prison and the people he could see. His eyes landed on Daryl, and something shifted. Again when he saw you in the middle of your protective circle. 

The bowman inwardly cursed. 

Because he knew why Jazz was there. 

And gauging from the expression on the man’s face while he glanced back and forth between the two of you, he knew, too. 

Your feet were frozen to the ground, every imperfection of the concrete suddenly painful and grating against the skin of your bare soles. Jazz was watching you. Watching Daryl. With an interest that made you nauseous. 

“I’ll admit that it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.” Hands clasped behind his back, the club owner began an easy stride toward you. Daryl tensed in front of you while Glenn and Carol shifted with their guns. 

“Necessary?” Rick asked, glancing to ensure the other men were remaining still before following Jazz. 

“Mhm.” The man stopped in front of Daryl, giving the appearance of sizing him up before leaning slightly to direct his entire focus toward you. “Seems they’ve figured out how to control you well enough.”

The only thing you felt for a moment was confusion. Control? Oh, the bruises and cuts from training. He thought—

Daryl took a step over, blocking you from Jazz’s gaze. “Ya don’t look at her. Ya don’t talk to her. Understood?” 

There was a chuckle that made your blood run cold. You’d spent so long hearing that same sound just before something bad tended to happen. When you felt Beth’s hand on your shoulder, you realized how badly you were trembling. 

“No matter. It’s you I’m here to see anyway.” 

That in itself was peculiar, but even more strange to realize that Daryl didn’t seem surprised. 

“S’that right?” The archer asked indifferently. Jazz hummed with an air of annoyance. 

“Why did you come to see Daryl?” Carol inquired from your right. Her posture changed, body angling toward her best friend in a way you weren’t sure she even realized. 

“I’m glad you asked.” Gravel crunched beneath boots before you could make out your former captor’s back, hands still loosely held behind him. “You see, it had only been a few days since we were paid a visit by Rick and his friend here. In the dead of night, we woke to find our establishment up in flames. Lost several men, eight girls managed to escape while the others were too afraid of what awaited out in the world.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with us?” There was intentionally placed irritation in Rick’s question. 

“I’m getting to that.” Jazz was still calm, in a way that made your teeth itch. “Do you know what we found when we returned to see what could be salvaged?” It was rhetorical, and everyone knew it. While no one said a word, you saw Daryl tense even more. Jazz held out a hand toward Todd, the taller man reaching into his annoyingly clean jacket. 

A unified exclamation of whoa and easy erupted. Then came the silence; so quiet that you swore you could hear your heart attempting to restart after it froze the moment the charred bolt was held out in display. 

“Now, if you’re the sort of man I take you to be, integrity isn’t something you tend to forego. It’s important to you.” Jazz was inches from Daryl now, the bolt held between their faces. “So I’ll ask once. Does this belong to you?”

The tension was dizzying. You fought the urge to reach for the bowman, surround yourself with the veil of safety that only he could provide. 

“Daryl?” 

You could make out the slight turn of Daryl’s head as he regarded Rick for a brief moment before returning to Jazz. 

“S’mine.”

Rick’s shoulders slumped, disappointed in his friend for starting something. It was unfortunate but they would work through it. What worried you was the slip in Jazz’s flippant demeanor. It was quick, his indifference immediately schooled back into place. 

“All over that worthless thing?” The man indicated you with a dismissive wave. 

Daryl growled, ready to defend you, but you surprised even yourself by speaking up first. “I’m not worthless.” Your words lacked confidence, but speaking up in itself clearly irked the man. Daryl twisted to look at you, a small smirk lifting one side of his mouth. 

“Knew we should’ve trained you better. We were too soft with you.”

“Soft? You tortured me! Let men rape me! You let them beat me and tear me and cut me! That’s not soft, you pompous jackass!” The archer remained your steady wall, unmoving and unwilling to let the clawed hands of your nightmares raise a single finger toward you. 

Jazz threw back his head in laughter. “You finally got some bite. Maybe I’ll pull out those teeth when we get back to the new club.”

Your blood didn’t just run cold, it froze in your veins. Any and all ability to speak was lost somewhere between your throat and tongue. 

“She ain’t goin’ nowhere with you.” Daryl snarled at Jazz, bearing his teeth like an animal. Instead of stepping into the man’s space, the archer stepped backwards, nearly pressing his back into you. 

“I think it’s time for you to go.” Rick joined the small circle that protected you. Jazz crossed his arms, entirely nonplussed. 

“The way I see it is you owe me eight girls. But just give me her and we’ll be square.”

“No deal. Y’ain’t takin’ her or anyone else.” Daryl was shifting his weight back and forth, amping himself up for a fight. You steeled your own nerves, prepared to defend yourself and your home— even if you were barefoot and in your t-shirt and sleep shorts. 

Jazz smirked, unsettling every ounce of resolve you’d managed to build. “Pity.” Uncrossing his arms, he raised a hand in the air and titled his wrist forward, a finger extending toward Daryl. 

You barely heard the shot, paid no mind to everyone springing into motion. The white hot burn on your cheek didn’t even fully register. It was the blood that sprayed onto your face and clothes that held you immobile. It was Daryl’s agonized shout and the way he crumbled to his knees. You cared little for the fact that it left you open for attack. 

“Daryl!” Your knees stung from the bite of the concrete. There was already a circle of blood just beside where the archer’s forehead was pressed against the ground. He was groaning through heaving breaths. His hair shielded a little of his face but the skin you could see was a mixture of blood-splattered and pale. “Daryl, where are you hit? Let me see!” 

“Run.” He panted, his right hand swatting yours away from his left arm. 

“I’m not—”

“Run, damnit! Go!” The bowman pushed himself up, swaying on his knees. His left shoulder was steadily bleeding. When you met his eyes, the kindness you always saw had given way to fear. And you knew, you knew it wasn’t for himself. 

You reached for his face but pulled back with a nod, getting to your feet. There was chaos all around, weapons and orders being screamed. None with which Jazz intended to comply. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He was talking to you. You hesitated, remembering belatedly how Daryl had taught you that hesitation would get you killed. “My man is just in that treeline there, girly. He’ll put a bullet in your boyfriend’s brain before you can take the first step.” That had you turning, despite Daryl’s protests. 

Your face ached. The bullet had grazed you after tearing through the archer’s shoulder but that hardly mattered. If you ran now, Daryl was dead. Maybe the others could take down Jazz and his goons but not before Daryl would be killed. He wasn’t what the man had implied but he was certainly more than a friend. He was your family. They all were, but Daryl was special. 

“If I go with you, you’ll leave them alone? You won’t hurt Daryl?” 

The man laughed. “Well, we won’t make it worse for him.” Everyone was panicking, not knowing whether to lower their weapons, fire, run. “You have my word, darlin’.” Jazz’s word meant jack shit, but you couldn’t gamble with Daryl’s life. You managed a step before a tight grip encircled your wrist. You knew who that hand belonged to before you turned around to actually witness the desperation in Daryl’s eyes. 

“Don’t do it. Don’tcha go with him.” He winced. He was holding you with his injured arm. The tears that had been collecting on your lashes began to fall as you knelt in front of him, gently working his fingers loose. 

“I have to go or he’ll kill you.” You said loudly enough for only him to hear. 

“I ain’t worth you goin’ back to that hell. Ya need to run. Y’know the ways out, y’know where to hide. Carol taught ya, I know she—” His voice failed when you lifted his hand to your uninjured cheek, nuzzling it with your eyes closed before kissing the top of it. 

“Thank you, Daryl.” Gently placing his hand down, you leaned forward to kiss his cheek, ignoring the blood. “Goodbye.” He was shaking his head, eyes wide and alarmed. You squeezed Carol’s elbow in passing, sharing a nod. She ran to the archer’s side and struggled to keep him subdued, calling on Glenn and Rick to help. You passed by Big Jazz, ignoring his devious smile. 

“Y/N! Y/N, don’t!” 

You ignored Daryl’s pleas and instead listened to the first gate closing behind you, smiling gently when Maggie met your gaze with her own shining eyes. The second gate opened and you shrugged off Todd’s hand on your shoulder, refusing to let your friends see you leaving as the same broken girl you were when you’d arrived. 

You weren’t her anymore. 

And once you were gone and your friends were safe— Daryl was safe —then Jazz and Todd would be introduced to who you had become. 

“I gotta go! Fuck!” Daryl tried to sit up, a jolt of pain sending him back down to the mattress. He didn’t know where this new building was. How could he have been so careless? He had been so damn determined to keep his word about burning the place to the ground that he hadn’t collected his bolts. He had gone on a supply run, but he had already made up his mind. He had decided what he would do that first day when he carried you. 

“Take it easy, son.” Hershel advised, standing as close as he dared while Rick and Glenn held the archer down. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. You’re in shock. I can’t in good conscience tell you that I am okay with you going anywhere.”

“I don’t give a fuck! They’ll kill ‘er!” 

“Come on, man. Just let him look at you. We’ll figure it out!” Glenn pleaded, struggling to hold Daryl’s uninjured arm. 

“We all care about her, brother.” Rick wasn’t having it any easier. With each movement, more blood oozed from the wound, but the archer felt nothing other than worry and guilt. He was numb to the physical pain, the ache in his chest far outweighing it. 

“Get the fuck off’a me!”

“Daryl Dixon, you stop that right now!” Carol’s voice seemed to cut through the chaos like a knife, strong and authoritative. He froze, all the fight draining from him with one look at his best friend’s face. Carol placed a hand on Glenn’s forearm, nodding in answer to his silent question of whether or not to let go. 

Daryl rolled his head toward her, face pale and chest heaving. “They’re gonna kill ‘er. We can’t just sit here an’ do nothin’.”

“I know.” She exchanged places with Glenn, sending a calm glance to Rick. The former deputy understood and released his hold to step back. “We’ll find her, but you won’t be any good to her if you bleed out or get an infection. We’ll come up with a plan and take a group while you,” she held up a hand to silence the protests that started to roll off his tongue, “while you get some rest and heal.”

“Y’ain’t leavin’ without me.” He countered, struggling to keep his eyes open. He knew they would. They cared about you too, but he knew they would wait. They would plan carefully and by then, it could be too late for you. Losing the battle against unconsciousness, he had already made up his mind.

He would leave the minute he opened his eyes again. 

And god help every single one of those motherfuckers when he found you. 

“Looks like they learned how to deal with you well enough.” Jazz chuckled from the passenger seat without looking at you. You sat between two of his men, hands folded on your lap. 

“No.” You answered simply. 

The man clicked his tongue. “You know I don’t like that word, baby.”

“I don’t give a shit what you like. And I’m not your baby.”

Jazz finally twisted in his seat to regard you. Against every instinct, you refused to lower your head, raising your chin defiantly. 

“I’d cut out your tongue when we take those pretty teeth but then you’d be shit at sucking dick.” You curled your lip but remained silent. “If memory serves, you’re quite the fan of ol’ Todd’s knife.” There was a flinch, almost imperceptible but when that sick smile spread across his face, you knew he’d seen. “There it is. You’re still my good girl down deep. Don’t worry. We’ll dig her out of there. We have nothing but time.”

Your fingers itched to curl into fists but you stayed still, eyes narrowed. Don’t bet on that. 

You weren’t fool enough to think that Daryl and the others wouldn’t come for you. Weeks ago, while still captive in the dark cage of your mind, you would have been convinced they didn’t care; that Daryl and the other men would leave you to your fate because your scarred cunt wasn’t worth the effort. Now you knew different. There were still good people in that broken, terrifying world and somehow, you had been blessed enough to end up with the best of them. 

Your thoughts turned to Daryl, bleeding and begging behind you as you had walked away. Had they managed the wound? You inwardly smiled at the thought. Had they managed Daryl enough to even be able to manage the wound? Stubborn man. You could clearly see Carol dragging him by the collar of his shirt toward the prison door while he protested. 

You could only hope you’d see him again. 

“What did the rugged one think of that Picasso pussy anyway?” You shook from your thoughts and glared at Jazz, meeting his amused eyes. “You must have put on a real show. Shown him what you could really do. He burned down my club. Tried to shield you from me.” He laughed, genuine amusement behind the action. “Fat lotta good it did him. But tell me, did he like Todd’s artistic expression? Did he keep you all to himself or share you with his friends?”

You did smile then. “They never touched me.”

Jazz scoffed, suddenly stoic, personally offended that your abuse hadn’t continued once you were free of him. “Someone did.” You knew he meant your current appearance. 

“Not every man needs to compensate for what they are lacking. Not every woman feels the need to spread her legs to earn her place.” Your smile fell away. You were poking the bear now. “No, Jazz, they never touched me.”

His expression said he wouldn’t ask again. “That’s a shame. More work for us to break you in again.” He turned to face the windshield. To anyone else, he would appear unaffected. You, though; you could see the tick in his jaw, the way his hand curled into a fist. “We’re up to the challenge though, sweetheart.”

Me, too.

It was dark when Daryl felt the heavy weight of awareness begin to filter in dully. His shoulder throbbed, his head pulsed. But he woke with the image of you walking away in the forefront of his mind. 

He was alone. They had left him alone to rest. At some point, they must have managed to get some painkillers in him. He felt like his brain was surrounded and filled with cotton, movements slow and sloppy. 

With a great deal of effort, he succeeded in sitting up, shaking his head as if the effects of the medication in his system would somehow disappear. It didn’t matter. He was leaving. 

Heaving his tired body upright, he staggered, vision swimming. He needed his weapons. He needed the keys to his bike. But first, he needed to make it to his perch before they came to check on him. Someone was awake. He wasn’t fool enough to think they’d just sedate him and go to sleep. They were likely planning their next move. Without him. He had to be careful and quiet. And fast.

One foot in front of the other, he considered it a win to make it to his space without face-planting. Goddamn them and those stupid pills. He fumbled with the gun and knife holsters, frustrated with his slow progress. Every second was precious time wasted, every minute could mean a new mark on your body, a new scar for you to bear. It could be the moment Jazz decided you weren’t worth the effort at all. 

He damn near cried out strapping his crossbow to his back. Luckily, his right shoulder would bear the weight. There was no time for provisions, he couldn’t carry them if he tried. He only grabbed a first aid kit and a canteen of water, letting his bag hang from his right shoulder as well. The archer nearly tumbled down the steps but made it by clutching the railing. 

There was no way he could take the bike like this. He couldn’t take a car either. He wouldn’t succeed in getting the gates open and shut before whoever was on watch stopped him, not while this slow and uncoordinated. He would need to go through the tombs and exit on the opposite side of the prison. Jesus, he was probably heading out on a suicide mission. 

You were worth it. That had been decided long ago. 

As he quietly made his way through the deceivingly quiet hallways, he thought back on the day he’d met you. Small and withdrawn, barely clothed. Calling him “sir” every breath. You’d probably never know that he resented the title because the utterance of it from your lips made his cock twitch. It made him feel ashamed, guilty. You had been so afraid of him, of everyone. All he had wanted was for you to be safe. Even in the beginning when he had tried to cut you loose and you had followed. 

He had only wanted you to be safe. 

Now, you were different. Stronger, capable. And the feelings he had fought against for so long remained. He couldn’t promise himself he’d acknowledge them for what they were even once you were home and safe. 

He just wanted you back. 

Using his right hand, he sank his knife into the skull of the first walker, the growls and shuffling feet of several more signaling he was in for a battle just to make it out to begin his search. 

He would make it because you needed him. 

And he needed you to fight long enough for him to find you. 

[oldfaneworld]

I need some clarity.

I don't know how I want to start this so I'm going to ramble this out. The discourse around Lanolin is something I don't really get in all honesty. The plot we have been following since the beginning of The Misadventure arc isn't anything new. The Fandom has dealt with trickery and guile before so I don't understand why this is such a hot topic to begin with. I have a few ideas why it's a hot topic and I'll touch on it soon but first I want to make this very clear. Looking back at the few posts I have on this website, I think I've made It very clear that Lanolin is my favorite character in all of the idw run. I can say this with my chest she is tied as my number 2 favorite character in this franchise with Bunnie d'coolette from the Archie run of the comics both reboot and pre-boot. My number 1 being Sonic from the story book games specifically the sonic and the black knight game.

I have only ‘recently’ gotten back into being a fan of the franchise about a year ago and most of that time has been me sitting down quietly playing Forces, Frontiers, Shadow Generations and reading first the entirety of the Archie run of the Sonic comics and then later the IDW run of the Sonic comics(i’ll get to fleetway soon i’ve just haven't gotten there yet). As for someone who’s been quiet for most of this time, seeing the Lanolin discourse flare back up because of the Riders arc is very interesting to me.

The big thing that gets me about the majority of it feels disingenuous to me from both sides. I am someone who has been very lucky to have patient friends that are willing to listen to me for a few hours on end talking to them about all of this. I am a Lanolin defender if it wasn’t already clear, so to my fellow defenders please don't go out of your way to call people misogynist(its true that there are some who are, but please be a bit more tactful when you do it) just because they don't like Lanolin. More often than not you're just throwing the wrong label at someone and it’ll just make things worse and poison the water for everyone. To those that dislike Lanolin you need to cool your jets just as hard, calling for violence to be done to her and to kick her out of the comics entirely because she’s been tricked is wild to think about especially because we have characters that are beloved that have been tricked and done way worse then she has that never received this kind of backlash. 

My reason why I think Knuckles, Silver and Shadow haven’t received the same kind of backlash Lanolin currently has is for a few reasons. The first is because all of their mistakes they’ve done have been nearly a decade ago if not longer so there's so much real time that buffers them from receiving such a backlash on top of that. Also we didn't necessarily have places like twitter, tumblr, or reddit back then like we do now.

The biggest reason why I think Lanolin is getting so much backlash where the others never did was (knuckles got it the worst but in the end it was turned into a gag) because of the medium her story is being told in. Everyone else was in a game Knuckles (S3&K, SA1, SA2), Silver (06), Shadow(SA2)  in comparison to Lanolin her’s is in the comics. A medium that is way slower than that of the games, just because of the nature of how long it takes for an issue to come out not including any delay. So I honestly think because of the slowness of comics in general people were allowed to sit and let an annoyance at best (in a games case) fester to hate (because of the comics timeframe).  A sonic game can be done at fastest in a few hours (forces) or a month (Frontiers) and that's not including 100 precenting a game. where in the comics Lanolin’s arc is taking longer than a year and a half and it's still going. 

Comparing her story to the three above we are what 2/3rds ¾ of the way through her personal arc about learning how to be a new leader and the challenges that brings, especially when she’s forced to make a choice that feels right in the moment but is wrong in the long term. People saying you can't compare her arc to Silver, Shadow or Knuckles is being dishonest in my book. The only difference in the way the arcs works is that the three’s arcs are done and hers isn't. Silver and Knuckles were tricked by their villains respectfully and Eggman and Mephiles nearly won because of it. Once they realized what they did they worked just as hard to fix what they messed up. Shadow was ruled by revenge allowing himself to work with eggman so he could get closer to the Ark to get rid of the Earth but Amy and others were there to open his eyes and it nearly cost him his life to fix what he allowed his rage to start.

So we know we aren’t done with Lanolin’s arc yet so why is there so much hate? We are just starting with her being redeemed. Why are people so adamant with burying her? I can't imagine another character in this moment of the comics that deserves her redemption more than her. She’s been here since issue 2 of the run and has been working hard in the background since, to get where she’s at and with her first real mistake and people want to tear all her accomplishments away from her. I don't get it? What I do get is having a casual dislike for her because of the way she talked to Silver and Whisper(misadventure) and Sonic and crew(Riders).

With all of what I have said, can someone please explain to me what I'm missing? Even in the newest issue when she is at her lowest she puts herself in the same position she put Silver in! She gave Tangle and Whisper the same power as before to vote her out because she knew she messed up and she’s not holding herself above any of the consequences she placed on other people. This is admirable she messed up and is willing to lose maybe her only chance to make a real difference in her world instead of doubling down and trying to make herself look right.

[explosiontheory]

FFF308

Title: Bonding

Fandom: Carmen Sandiego

Words: 940(Really was pushing it for this one)

Rating: General

Warnings: none

@flashfictionfridayofficial

@mmaricarmen23 @backofthepencil11 Hope you enjoy some chaotic fluff!

“Hey, we’re off fighting bad guys with you now, but we hardly know you! We should change that!”

The suggestion caught Carmen off guard. True, she barely knew anything about the Boston siblings she brought along with her, but it never crossed her mind that it might be an issue. Not that she wouldn’t want to, but with V.I.L.E still out there, she didn’t think there was any time to spare in making friends. And her childhood wasn’t exactly normal.

“Yeah! Come on, surely there’s got to be some cool story as to how you’re going up against a super secret evil organisation?!” The brother, Zack, she thinks his name was, chimed in.

“Oh, uhhh, I suppoooose…” Carmen stuttered, unsure how much to reveal to these near-strangers she’s now dragging across the globe.

“Yeah Red, I mean, we’re all going to be working together now, of course you want to have a good bond with your team.” Crackled in Player from the phone speak. The betrayal, how could her oldest friend gang up on her like this.

“Ooh, ooh, I know what we could do! We could play two truths one lie!” Zack threw out. 

“Bro, that’s a kids game, except for Player we’re all adults, we don’t need something so childish to help us get to know each other.” Ivy, if she recalled correctly, joined back in again. Carmen made a note to thank her for saving her from whatever this game was later.

“No, I think it could be fun! I mean, Red, you’ve never played before, right?”

“Noooo???”

“Yeah! It’s settled then, let’s play two truths one lie!” Zack exclaimed.

Player was no longer Carmen’s best friend.

The group, minus Player, sat in a circle on the hotel floor. He had been switched to a laptop so he could better be set into the circle.

“Alright everyone, who’s going first?” Zack stared straight at Carmen, expectation on the order already set.

“I’ll go first. Red, don’t say anything if you already know the answer. Please give Zack and Ivy a chance.”

Player was closer to being her best friend again.

“So, let’s seeeee…. My favourite game is Minecraft, I have never been to a public school, annnnnd…. I accidentally fell off my bed once and slept the rest of the night on the floor.”

The answer was easy. His favourite game was MarioKart. Just as she was about to answer though, Player stared straight into her soul with a look on his face that clearly meant she was dead if she spoke. It quickly vanished into a mischievous grin. Zack and Ivy, on the other hand, were deep in thought, Ivy gazing at the floor in contemplation while Zack shifted around, constantly moving. Carmen leant back onto the floor, boredom taking hold. This was supposed to be a game! Where was the fun?!

Finally, Zack piped up.

“Surely you’ve been to public school right? I mean, you look like a Minecraft kid-“

“What’s THAT supposed to mean??!!”

“Whoa, sorry! As I was saying, the whole bed thing is too specific, so obviously you must have been to public school.”

“Sorry bro, gotta disagree with you there. The bed thing is too specific to be the answer, like that just doesn’t happen. Surely you’d wake up.”

Player’s smile grew, clearly enjoying the discourse before his big announcement.

“You’re both wrong! My favourite game is, in fact, MarioKart!”

“Awwwwww, you should have said that before! MarioKart is MY favourite game too! We should totally play!”

Ivy rolled her eyes.

“You clearly just want someone new to dominate, don’t you?”

“Hey, don’t underestimate my skills! I think you’ll find it is Zack who gets left in the dust.”

Carmen laughed at the chaos unfolding, watching the others argue over who would in fact be the best MarioKart player.

“Carmen, I think it’s your turn!” Ivy declared. Any goodwill Carmen had in her before vanished as she’s forced to join in.

“Uhhhhhh, I was raised by thieves, I threw water balloons at Cookie Booker every year, and uhhhhhhhh…… I have had pizza?”

The room went silent. Everyone just stared at her, expressions unreadable. Player was the first to speak.

“Hey uh, Red, maybe went a bit too personal there. Maybe save that for another time?”

“Oh, right, sorr-“

“You’ve never had PIZZA??!!?!!! Ivy, this is a travesty! Surely you’ve agree too, Player. We need to change this immediately!”

Carmen felt her face turn red. Was it really that obvious? She passed all her classes, she should have been flawless. She felt someone’s hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Zack, looking as if she needed consoling.

“I am so sorry for you. I will ensure you get to enjoy pizza.”

“Oook, then, Ivy, how about you go next? I will order some pizza for you, cause clearly Carmen needs it.”

As the night passed on, and they each took turns telling little factoids about themselves, and Carmen finally got to try pizza for the first time, she started actually feeling closer to the two siblings. She never would have guessed that Ivy used to love dinosaurs, or that Zack somehow stuck a backflip after falling off of a playground (whatever those were), and she even learned that Player loved collecting rocks. She also got better at what to share, and she felt more assured as each round was harder to guess that she did not, in fact, lose her skills. As they slowly drifted off to sleep, Carmen smiled to herself. She could see now what Player meant, that forming connections with the team was actually for the best.

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Pacing and True Blood

Considering the discourse I’d read about True Blood before watching it, which ranged from lukewarm to outraged by the show’s trajectory, I was so pleasantly surprised. And I’m starting to think some people just don’t enjoy stories that unfold over years. I read so many complaints that True Blood “ran out of compelling stories” by the final season and got “too preposterous” because “things just kept happening”.

Folks, things have to keep happening in order for a story to continue. Action is the backbone of narrative. Of course, there are effective and ineffective ways to do this, and many initially strong shows do suffer from repetition or lack of direction after tacking on last-minute plot devices to a completed story in order to milk more seasons out of them. True Blood is not one of those shows. But it seems to be perceived as one for reasons I don’t really understand. In fact, watching it felt like a master class in how not to do that- I’m blown away by the cohesiveness and forethought put into this show from start to finish.

Reflecting on it after watching the series finale, that is what stands out to me more than any one episode, scene, or character- and I consider that a good thing. It’s more than a set of individual moments that all have their own merit; seasons 1-7 are one entity, it stands collectively as a unit. Not only are plot lines thorough and foreshadowed well, but they are informed by and consistent with the rich characters of Bon Temps, Louisiana.

I’ll start from the beginning: the pilot alone sows seeds that aren’t harvested until years later. The circumstances in which Sookie meets Bill in the very first episode are both mysterious and highly specific. She’s drawn to him because of her telepathic abilities that have been a fact of her life from birth- she can’t hear his thoughts and that’s incredibly refreshing. She then rescues Bill from a hate crime attack, hurling a chain around an assailant’s neck with superhuman strength and precision. She herself is clearly surprised by this, but nothing is said about it for a very long time. The episode ends with a target now on Sookie’s back when she is attacked by the same couple seeking retribution. This time she’s rescued by Bill, who nurses her back to health with his blood.

By the time the details of these events become relevant, I had forgotten about them- this is good storytelling. Revelations should be hard-hitting because, as an audience member, you didn’t connect these dots yourself, but you could have. You had all the information and now that it’s out in the open you realize it’s been staring you in the face all this time.

Towards the end of season three, Sookie finally learns that she is part fairy. This is why she is a telepath, why vampires have made it impossible for her to lead a normal life, and why she had surprising success in a life-threatening brawl in the pilot. Sookie embodies many qualities of the damsel in distress trope, but there is a reason for it all, and this allows her to seize control and turn the trope on its head. She doesn’t just happen to be beloved by several suitors for no apparent reason; she isn’t just ‘different’ than everyone else for some quality no one can put into words.

Sookie’s fairy identity is at the very heart of the series in so many layered ways. Revealing this so late in the game in a show that has already broached shapeshifters and werewolves in addition to vampires could have had the disheartening effect of feeling like an afterthought (now there are fairies?! Come on) had it not been clearly intentioned from the start- and had the show itself not quickly acknowledged and dispensed of the potential fantasy fatigue (“I’m a fairy?! Well, isn’t that fucking lame.”). Not only has Sookie’s telepathy been well-established and normalized from the start, but it’s had a well-explored impact on who she is as a person. After a life of fatigue from hearing a bigoted town’s every thought, from running from every potential relationship after hearing men’s frightening intentions, it’s no wonder she’s so compelled by a seemingly open-minded vampire whose thoughts she can’t hear at all.

In addition to all of this, it turns out that Sookie’s fae blood has catalyzed everything we’ve seen so far without her even knowing it. A couple episodes after Sookie learns who she is, Eric drops the bombshell that Bill has known all along; in fact, Sookie drinking his blood after the brawl in the pilot was a pre-meditated move on his part to manipulate her into falling in love with him. This kind of attention to detail isn’t cooked up in retrospect, and the ramifications carry us through the rest of the series.  

The way fairies are handled in True Blood is unique, and despite its central importance to Sookie’s journey and the emotional heart of the story, it fits right in among the other happenings of Bon Temps. The revelation of Sookie’s identity struck me as a very delicate thing for the show to navigate- it certainly could have been a low, but I think it’s actually one of the series’ high points.

While there has always been cause to wonder why Sookie is a telepath and why vampires seem particularly interested in her, the fairy community is foreshadowed in earnest several episodes in advance when Sookie meets another telepath. At the time, she is thrilled because she has never met anyone with her ability before and wants to connect with this stranger. As a standalone moment, it serves to make Sookie feel less alone and othered, and the juxtaposition of this new, fearful telepath highlights Sookie’s strength and sense of self. In the bigger picture, it opens up the reality that there are others like Sookie and raises the questions who are they? Where are they? How many are there?

Consistently, happenings that were not out of place at the time- and in fact, had significant implications as a standalone incident- end up having long-lasting ramifications that allow a new chapter of the story to begin seamlessly.

Like Sookie herself, the fae are traditional in a lot of ways. They are deeply desirable woodland beings that lure people in with their irresistible beauty. Sookie even has a fairy godfather. Once again, the ‘classic’-ness of these qualities is exactly what allows them to be played with in a fun and different way. Sookie breaks the ice of the introduction of yet another supernatural being with her underwhelmed reaction upon learning her identity. It’s an endearing self-awareness of both her character and the show that allows us to accept this level of fantasy. The show is very silly; the characters are very down to earth.

In the season three finale, Sookie visits the fairy plane, a very classic fairy tale setting that seems like a wonderland, with the caveat of a mysterious and delicious fruit being forced on her. Sookie, never the fool, doesn’t eat it, and without its magic the beauty of the fae plane quickly falls apart. Within minutes, Sookie sees through the illusions, learns that the fairies are attempting to lure and trap their entire bloodline in their plane, and promptly breaks free of it. She also meets her grandfather, who has been missing all her life. Her grandfather is devastated to learn that he’s been gone for years- he could swear it’s only been a few hours. The absence of any familial figures in Sookie and Jason’s life has informed so much of who they are, and once again, there is a relevant explanation for their circumstances.

Her grandfather dies moments after bringing Sookie back to the human plane- eating the fruit makes it impossible to return. Despite having not eaten any herself, Sookie learns that the 15 minutes we spent with her there has translated to a year in Bon Temps. This time jump is maybe the most masterful piece of storytelling in the whole show.

One of my favorite things about True Blood is the sheer size of its ensemble. There is so much going on in Bon Temps, all of it intertwined. Characters and events weave in and out of each other with precise, seamless timing. While Sookie, Bill, and Eric explored vampire royalty and the existence of fairies throughout season three, the entire Bon Temps clan was being carefully set up to be in incredibly compelling positions after the one-year time jump revealed in the season finale.

Arlene, finally at peace with the loving Terry, discovers she’s pregnant with the late Rene’s baby and is convinced the child will be evil. Sheriff Andy has the first inklings of experimenting with V. Jason’s lustful ways have abruptly left him with the obligation to care for a backwoods, impoverished community of were-panthers. Nice guy Sam has finally snapped and shot his own brother. Tara has reached her limit and left Bon Temps in an attempt to escape her trauma along with it.

As soon as Sookie returns from the fae plane and learns how much time has passed, it struck me how deliberately every one of these plotlines have been threaded- they had all been building organically throughout the season, but they left off in a place where they will be at their most compelling one year later. Time jumps can feel abrupt and disorienting when we’re invested in the current timeline, but this timeline was crafted with the time jump in mind. One meaningful look at an evidence vial of vampire blood, and we’re ready to explore Sherriff Andy’s full-blown addiction. Now that we know Arlene is pregnant with a serial killer’s baby, we can get right to the real plot point- how she and Terry fare once he’s born. It’s all an immense trust in the audience to pay attention to detail and connect the dots on their own- and it pays off.

These long-game moves continue throughout the series: the cowboy boots gifted to Sheriff Bud at his retirement party turn out to be the fateful clue that exposes him as the center of a violent hate group; Sarah Newlin’s frantic downing of some mysterious vial during the prison revolt is only later revealed to be the cure to the fatal hep-V virus; Mrs. Fortenberry’s very in-character death proves to be a vehicle for Hoyt’s return and reunion with Jessica.

All this to say, True Blood is the most intentional show I’ve seen in a very long time. Its eventual conclusion is true to its characters and core message. At no point did I feel it had lost or gotten away from itself, and it’s all due to its foreshadowing of upcoming storylines well, well in advance in ways that are so relevant to the ‘now’ that they are remembered but not questioned.

I’ll close by briefly joining the conversation that piqued my interest in the series in the first place: I don’t at all consider True Blood’s vampires to be a queer allegory. Alan Ball, a gay man himself, has said this view is harmful and (not that it matters what I think in relation to him), I agree. Don’t get me wrong, True Blood has a rich and decisive political message, but it doesn’t hide behind its fantasy elements to express it. The blue collar, rural Louisiana setting is not a superficial choice, and everything the show has to say about race, religion, and sexuality, it says outright. The juxtaposition of high fantasy with hyper-realistic characters, setting, and dialogue is part of the show’s allure, and a big part of that is not shying away from southern culture and the political beliefs that come with it. If you really want to get to the meat of the show, we should talk about Sookie’s relationship with Christianity and pretty much everything about season 7. And I would love to! This show has been such a refreshing watch for me and I’m not ready to put it behind me, so hit me up if you have thoughts and opinions!

[spacerockfloater]

Hi.

It's so disheartening to see how a big chunk of TG turned on Aemond and Alicent and only support Aegon now. I deeply dislike most of the writing decisions this season, but people seem to forget that these decisions didn't harm only Aegon's character, but also Aemond, Alicent and Criston's, I would say even more than Aegon's. Nevertheless, after the last week episode I've seen a lot of TG hate directed towards Alicent and Aemond that reminded me of TB discourse and it's just sad.

I would love to hear your opinion on this. Thanks in advance.

Hello there friend! Thank you so much for sending me this ask!

Sigh. This is such a complicated issue. As a fellow TG supporter said recently in one of my posts, us turning against the Targtowers and hating them was exactly what Ryan Condal wanted.

They accidentally made them too sympathetic and righteous in the first season, so they had to ruin them to remind the public of whom they are supposed to hate. It’s sickening.

Alicent’s whole journey was about understanding that she needs to be more fierce and demanding to help her family survive. The first season ended with her being ruthless and ready to sacrifice everything for her children. But now she has regressed back to herself from the first half of S1, a scared little girl that doesn’t have the guts to do what must be done and loses all hope the moment the first tragedy comes her way.

Aegon’s whole journey was him overcoming his bullying tendencies and genuinely supporting his brother and his family. He may have initiated the pink dread incident but when his mother told him to cut the bullshit and stop acting like his nephews are his friends, he had no problem knocking Jace to the floor during practice. He stood tall when his brother was disabled and refused to name his mother as the one who spread the rumour(!) of Nyra’s children being bastards. He spoke his truth with his whole chest. Years later, the moment Aemond rose to answer to Lucerys’s mockery, he was right beside him, toasting with him and smashing Luc’s head on the table. And finally, when everyone turned on Aemond for taking his revenge, it was Aegon who demanded Aemond remain in his council, because that was his brother, his best sword and he wanted him there, even if their mother could not bare to look at him. Aegon rose to the occasion and was ready to become a better person, he seemed to genuinely want to serve his subjects. He loved nothing more in the world than his son and his death tore him apart. But suddenly, next episode he has forgotten all about it and is back at bullying Aemond again? That’s just none-sense. All that character development for nothing.

I did feel like Aemond burning his brother alive went from 0 to 100 real quick. He already got his lick back when he made a fool of Aegon in front of his own council. Aemond is a calculating person. He would know that talking Aegon out of the way would cause more harm than good.

Their relationship has been destroyed. Every TG member hates the others. Ultimately, I think we just have to accept this is bad writing and let go of the show because yikes.

However, if we want to discuss show canon, we should keep the characters accountable for their actions and unfortunately, I am displeased with all of them except from Criston. I’ll keep supporting Aegon, Aemond and Alicent but I must also criticise them for the things that they do if I want to be fair.

That being said, I can see why Alicent is horrified by Aemond’s actions. I can see why people think Aemond went too damn far. At the same time, I can see that Aemond would never just sit down and accept being abused. Add to that his not so secret desire to be king, and you can see why he wouldn’t think twice about turning his brother to ashes.

All in all, I think that every opinion is justified and that we must wait for the new episode to air (Aemond’s interactions with Aegon and Alicent are essential) for some additional insight on the incident of Rook’s Rest.

[everlastingremorse-blog]

The Rat Grinders are Minmaxers

I’ve been thinking through a lot of the discourse surrounding the bad kids and their immediate dislike of the Rat Grinders, and how it’s not fair and all that stuff.

And that is important to consider, but it took me awhile to realize how un-fun it would be to play in a group of rat grinders.

Like Brennan said in an earlier adventuring party (and I am paraphrasing), “this year we get to see what it’s like when being an adventurer means going on adventures.”

Like, in earlier seasons, Aguefort would go on some long tangent about how adventuring is enacting violence in order to change the world.

Not that I completely agree with that assertion, but it’s also true that there is a narrative in DND, thus there are narrative arcs. Going on an adventure in DND means having personal arcs exploring how your character’s motivations are changing and interacting with the world. One of my favorite parts of Dungeons and Drag Queens was seeing these new players get really invested in their characters.

And then there are minmaxers. Now if you don’t know, Minmaxers are players that really optimize their character to game the system. Think Evan Kelmp. He’s set up in a way to prioritize fighting over anything else.

Now Kelmp is a bit of an exception, as most Minmaxers tend to (at least from what I’ve seen) avoid roleplay, while Brennan made Kelmp explicitly for roleplay. In other words, Minmaxers don’t make good stories.

And I think that’s for two reasons:

1. If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Having a character built to fight (and that’s how most Minmaxed DND characters are built, according to me) means you’re going to use fighting as a solution. Why try to convince someone when your dumb stat is charisma and you could probably kill them easily if you tried. Murder hobos are bad for stories.

2. It’s impressive, the first time. Don’t get me wrong, Minmaxers show a strong mastery of the system they’re working in. Just like the rat grinders. They’ve gotten to a real high level by (in my opinion) a flaw in the system, and it’s a fun loophole… the first time I saw it. If there is no story (no quest that you’re going on) then it’s going to just be boring grinding. It’s like looking at a painting in a museum. You can look at it. Examine it. Think about it like a painter, and then like an art critic. Read some analysis of the work, but eventually I want to move on. I might come back later, but I’ll hit a limit on what I can do. I can be impressed by the mastery of the system, now what? Now they go back to grinding rats.

And that’s why I dislike the rat grinders. They are adventures, but they don’t go on adventures. They just gamed the system. They followed the rules without following their spirit. And I’d hate to play a game with players like that.

But hey, things are looking up. Obviously, the rat grinders have a lot going on that we just don’t know yet. There is a story there, and I can’t wait to see it.

Also they have a really hot drago———

*sounds of muffled horny screams as I’m dragged off into the distance.*

[myfairkatiecat]

nightfall was crazy, but I'm also kind of confused??? It went by sooo fast I was like WHAT? WAIT, WHAT? WAIT WAIT WAIT-

Love the fact that they went on with keefes whole "I'm not worth it, but you are, so I'm going to take over decisions we need to make (as a team) and screw them over so that they cause harm to me and not you!" Kinda vibe, honestly thought that after he came back from the neverseen in lodestar they were just going to forget about it, yk??

Only thing I really didn't like is that like...everyone has a slight distrust to keefe (at least in the start, till he apologized ) but Sophie, the person who was (in my opinion) most affected by his 'betrayal' never once had a doubt???? Like, if someone betrayed me, right? Yk they're my friend whatever whatever, ID STILL HAVE SOME KIND OF LIKE ISSUES WITH THEM???

I feel like her distrusting keefe and then slowly learning to trust him would have made the book MUUUCH better!!

Also, I'm still not getting where the Fitz discourse is coming from, like, his sibling just betrayed him, fell unconscious and WOKE UP WITH NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING?? I can see where the anger issues come from

Holy shit this was long, sorry!

-- @localburntoutkid

Had a blast reading this!

You’re so right about Keefe. That definitely doesn’t get dropped after lodestar, or even nightfall—it’s one of his character’s main flaws, and while it does shift and evolve as the series moves on, it’s kind of there, you know? And I’m really hoping it resolves in some way by the end of the series, because his arc is just… so interesting to me. Because it is NOT arc-shaped. At all.

I get what you mean about Sophie being the only one who doesn’t distrust Keefe when he comes back. I really like that too acknowledge that it’s a Sophie-specific thing, though! Too many people forget that this is a third person limited story told by an unreliable narrator, and act like Shannon Messenger herself is telling us Keefe deserves to be fully trusted. Sophie Foster decides, at the end of Neverseen, not to hate him, and Lodestar is where she has her moments of doubt and distrust, but even in Lodestar, she always believes in Keefe’s good intentions. There’s even a scene where she says something like “Yes, Keefe’s plan is horrible and I hate it, but his heart is in the right place. I have to believe that.” The part about keefe’s plan is paraphrased, but she did say she needs to believe his heart was in the right place, in that wording, and it’s fascinating to me. She’s very attatched to Keefe (obviously) and I think it’s mostly for her own sanity that she chooses over and over to believe that there’s something right about what he’s doing, because letting him go sounds excruciating, even by his own fault.

I actually have no issue with this being Sophie’s perspective, and I actually find it interesting especially in the context of sokeefe, but I wish we got to see this portion through another character’s eyes. For example, Fitz. Someone who does distrust him afterwards, and rightfully so.

As far as Fitz discourse goes, that stuff stemmed less from nightfall and more from flashback and legacy. I don’t hate Fitz in either of those books, but you’ll probably notice the moments that made people kind of go nuts about hating him and ran away with his character (personally, I think Fitz is fully understandable in both books, but don’t fully condone the way he acts in a few scenes, particularly in legacy. I’ll explain later after you’ve read it)

Don’t apologize for length, I’m literally Katie, have you met me? Everything I write is longer than I intend

I’m glad you’re having fun with the KOTLC series. Keep me updated!!!

[khaoala]

Top ten seductive/hot Ray moments according to you? 😊 You can just list them or yap about them. Whatever you want 🤗🤭

*Cracks knuckles* Anon, first of all, thank you for asking. In this dissertation, I’ll unravel all the moments Ray made me pause for a second or ten because he looked absolutely out of this world hot/seductive/enchanting/surreal. For the purposes of this, I’ll try not to overlap my Ray’s greatest hits with Sarah’s, who has already pointed out some excellent moments here. I agree with basically every one of her choices, but it’s not like we lacked on hot scenes from Ray. Because I’ll take every opportunity I have to gif Only Friends because at the time it was airing, I didn’t possess the skills to do a thing for the show, I certainly have a gifset queued for later this evening, and I hope it shows up 😀. Now, without further ado, let’s begin.

1. Checking Sand out after he lit his cigarette, episode 1.

Already starting by doing something I said I wouldn’t do, but listen, right when Sand walks off after lighting his cigarette, Ray just looks at him and checks him out with such a laid-back charm. You can clearly see he’s getting ready to hunt and his eyes are on his prey. Honestly, 10/10, no notes, super-hot.

2. Stop playing and tell me what you wanna tell me, episode 6.

If I’m not mistaken, SandRay only has three scenes in episode 6 and this one is the least angry one. Ray has been trying to reach Sand who has been actively ignoring him after the disaster at Sand’s apartment (when he was going to get birthday sex and instead got, I’m my crush’s second option). Suddenly, Sand contacts him and he thinks they’ll finally reconcile, but instead he’s faced with Sand trying to manipulate him by using his feelings for Mew. Ray ain’t stupid, he acts on his emotions quick and hot, but he knew he was being played, and right there when he sighs and rolls his eyes and forces Sand to go to the point? Quite hot.

3. Smoking in the bathtub with Sand, episode 11.

How do I describe this one? Maybe it’s the peacefulness in Ray and like, the genuine happiness from having cleared the misunderstanding with Sand and with no immediate issues in sight (we don’t count the substances abuses for this) that simply makes him glow. His hot score is high. His attractiveness score is high. Happy Ray makes him look hot.

4. Deal with him or I’ll do it myself, episode 12.

Possessive and mad Ray will always have a place in my heart. In this one, he was not only pissed, but he was also fucking insecure the man he recently realized he was in love with was going to ditch him for the hot muscular ex-boyfriend, and he still had in it him to say if you’re going to pick him let me know but if you pick me, deal with this quick or I’ll do it my way. So good.

5. The boy is mine, episode 2.

Ray being a little shit is one of my favorite types of Ray. In this case, it’s a good type of little shit because here he is making sure for the first time in his and Sand’s relationship that Sand will chose him before anyone else. The little satisfied smirk as Amm walks off because he won? Amazing. We love confidence.

6. Take the shirt off me, episode 5.

What a fucking menace, Ray Pakorn. He wanted to be fucked the whole day that day but unfortunately, Sand is working class man and had places to be and things to do. Doesn’t mean Ray can’t get his way, and he will get his way some way or another. When he told Sand to take his very tight shirt off him, I was already at the other side of the room screaming silently. I appreciate Sand’s self-control. I would have none.

7. Stop fooling yourself, Sand, episode 8.

I don’t know how many of you are traumatized by episode 8. For me, it’s pure suffering. Maybe it’s also because discourse that week literally anywhere was insufferable. But anyway, Joker!Ray is a nightmare. He’s drunk and high and very out of his mind but stay with me a little bit. The I can have feelings for as many people as I want thing? Problematic? Yes, but also kind of hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

8. He could convince you to kill someone or at least help him get rid of the body with his eyes alone, episode 8.

Ray being a little shit has a certain charm, we must agree on that. You have to admit that you need a certain level of confidence and lack of shame to show up to the person you didn’t pick and say, “hey, how about you help me with community service, hun?” And Sand folded like a wet piece of paper, and do you know why? Because Ray had his best pleading for cock 🥺 eyes on, and he was so charming and so manipulative, and so attractive. (I mean, the poking thing? It’s endearing.)

9. Just Ray, episode 2.

I think this is a serious case of lone wolf hotness or something. There’s just something especially attractive about Ray being by himself near the pool, with his sunglasses and a flask.

10. Watching Sand, episode 3.

Sand knows for sure how to fuck someone good, because Ray followed this man looking for a round 2 since that morning they woke up together, and he was sure he’d get that when he invited Sand to play at the hostel’s party. He had eyes on Sand up until Boston reminded him he should have feelings for Mew or whatever. He’s just exhaling hot energy. Let’s never forget the scene we didn’t have of Ray throwing his cup after his “confrontation” with Top, too.