#I'm really worried honestly
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Anyway I want to watch House but will Hulu play anything right now? It sure won't!
#is it ublock or is it something else? who knows!#isabel.vent#i should probably sleep anyway i have work at 8:15 and the inventory is a by volume one#which i thought we got rid of! but apparently not!#and i thought i blacklisted this customer too#I'm really worried honestly#I'm kinda expecting that the job will go as long as the worst job in the history of the company#even though steve who is very professional and also 37 years old (ie not a scared 20something) is on the job
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sound off, soldier, how we holding up? 🫡
not dead!

#sorry for not posting it's honestly been a blur lmao#if you worried then A: i'm sorry but also B: that's nice thank you#sergle answers#in hindsight not posting for 4 days when i have been talking abt wishing to be dead#really does make it look like i did some type of thing
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Seeing as we're at the halfway point of the year and some of these situations are (hopefully) no longer ongoing, I can actually talk about them. So, new Marlin Life Lore in no particular order:
- Left a cult (don't worry about it)
- Kissed someone who was enbyphobic (boo)
- Quit my job part 2 electric boogaloo
- Tried manifesting as a joke and think I got cursed instead
- Three month long situationship 🥳
- Five older people were hitting on me, but at least 2 of them were actively evil (3 if we count enbyphobic woman)
- Burned bridges with two long-standing industry connections within 3 weeks of one another
- Gathered a Google Drive worth of evidence on my ex-boss (because we can always nuke the remains of the bridge)
#my boss tag#the conclusion of this is I have so much like. wild shit to talk about but oh my god does she suck#cult/pyramid scheme idk what to call it; when the music industry is involved it's all treated as normal#I honestly didn't have 'Joined and quickly left a cult' on my bingo card of Things My Mother Did In Her Twenties That I Will Also Go Through#unreality#<- to be clear this all happened i just don't want anyone to stumble across the manifesting joke without context and worry about it#I think I jokingly thought Yeah I'd Like A Hot Blonde Gf when I'd already met the woman I ended up Briefly dating#and who know? maybe we'll get back together at some point#it's just really bad timing As Accelerated by the Toxic Workplace/Cult vibes#can't sleep and I'm just processing things#delete later maybe#personal log
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So I've had people be weird with me about my religion in the past, but last night, I had some be so egregiously shitty that I low-key didn't know how to respond. They referred to one of the deities I worship, Dionysus, as a character in a "canon" and that they so firmly rejected the "canon" that they were upset when people refused to acknowledge their "headcanon" (they firmly believed that Haides and Persephone were the sole parents of Dionysus; this is not confirmed in any mythos, and they eventually admitted that). They first tried to play it off as some "old myth that was later changed" that I had never heard of, and when I called them out on this, they got incredibly defensive. It was incredibly disrespectful, especially since I had told this person beforehand that I was a worshipper of Greek deities.
You wouldn't walk up to a Muslim and call Allah a "canon character" then proceed to tell them your "headcanon" about Allah. That's weird as fuck! That's abhorrent, even! Regardless of whether or not you believe in someone's religion, it's legitimately not hard to be respectful.
#helpol#hellenic polytheism#hellenic pagan#I'm honestly pretty upset with this person because of this and it makes me want to just walk away from them entirely#it just feels really shitty#but part of me worries that I'm just being dramatic or something you know?
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felt silly and decided to make a cowboy/outlaw oc :]
creed (other guy in the second pic) belongs to my loving wife @downsteepy ❤️
#they have animal features bc they're part of my partners little oc universe and that's just how ppl are like there <3 creed's there too#and yes we did in fact made cowboy ocs to together. just for funsies#not really 100% sure abt all their backstory and stuff yet. i will have to find time to write about it another day#honestly i'm not even 100% sure with his design yet. if i ever have time to do a proper sheet i might just change stuff lol#for now! i will have this to convince you guys i do in fact do oc stuff (even if its once in a blue moon)#allyart#other's oc#my ocs#tac (oc)#i might change his tag later to something more unique#he has no name which means i can give him 10 million cool names. so ill think up something cool perhaps#im so good with oc stuff you guys i have ideas that are so original and definitely not stolen from characters i like#do not think abt the fact that i suspiciously made a cowboy oc after playing a cowboy game dont worry abt that
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seen one too many snide posts about this in the last week or so but did you know that if you don't enjoy scenes in smut establishing consent or checking in then you simply don't have to read them and you don't have to go online and whine about how they're Consent Posturing and Purity Culture and Sanitizing Everything and God Just Kill Me Now. like you can have a preference without making it into a three act morality play, which is ironically what you are accusing other people of doing.
the same goes for like, detailed content warnings on fics. or content warnings at all. you can just skip those. they're not a sign of Purity Culture Gone Too Far or Those Damn Puriteens or whatever. you can dislike things without being an asshole about them or implying they're Taking Away What's Good And Correct About Fic Or Creativity.
#gav gab#sex ment#there's a running thread in the L2L cinematic universe shower sex fic#about consent and checking in and like. being cautious and careful and Aware of the other party#and whether they want to be doing what they're doing#and it is there for a reason and it is extremely meaningful to the context of what's happening#and if i see one more post mocking the entire concept of addressing consent in a fic#i am gonna heap my lid#i really do think 'consent posturing' is one of the most enraging phrases i've ever seen online tbh#and there's some stiff competition#like. wrow. lot going on THERE.#i just hate that i'm so anxious about this part of this fic#i mean im anxious about the whole thing for various reasons but#seeing those posts some of which have been reblogged by people whose opinions i do respect#has made me really embarrassed and worried about honestly one of the most Meaningful parts of this fic#and i feel like i need to pre-emptively go on the defensive or else people will think it's Bad and Stupid and He Would Not Fucking Say That#etc etc etc#like i have to pre-emptively defend myself against accusations of bad writing#and i know the answer is just to care less about Posts On Line but i would like to cordially suggest perhaps the answer is also#stop being an asshole about a preference and asserting it like it is not in fact a preference#but is instead you speaking some kind of Good Take onto the stupid brain rotted puriteen masses or whatever#i am doing better about not letting the ocd win and caring less about Posts#whatever it may appear lmao i Am doing better with that#but that doesn't mean those posts arent still mean and shitty#and generalizing a lot of weird shit into things like#'establishing consent in a sex scene' which apparently is Inherently Boring And Annoying
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Important tip for trans men/transmascs/whoever needs the reminder: Even if you pass as a man to cis people, you still need to have either some form of self-protection on you (e.g., mace, knives (if you can use them effectively), ect.) or know some form of self-defense. Please take it from me, you don't know what will happen out there at any given time.
You might assume that if you pass as a cis man to cis people, you will be safe from any harm. While I wish that were true, it simply isn't the world most of us live in. Please do whatever you can to protect yourself out there.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#ask to tag (genuine)#there's this idea that once you start passing as a man as a trans guy* that all your worries about attacks... disappear...#...but i'm going to be real my fears of being followed/sexually harassed/heckled/ect have increased by double...#...and i never felt the need to have self-protection before (which was kind of foolish even if i felt certain i was physically safe)...#...but honestly i think i really ought to start investing in this shit the more i pass#anyway please learn from my mistakes ♡#i talk about this a lot but it is a life-or-death level of importance to me#yes this goes for all trans people...#...i just call out other trans guys specifically because so many of us assume or are told we're immune to this type of violence
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bunter keeping peter from being swallowed up by an evil bog with the kind of hysterical strength otherwise only known by mothers deadlifting cars to save their tender babes is something that can actually be so personal
#lord peter wimsey#mervyn bunter#so jigencore of him honestly. if lupin or peter were inside a irrevocably burning house jigen and bunter would be running#directly and determinedly into the fire to get to their personal Little Guy and that's just the way it is#with the slight distinction that I think bunter might genuinely and uncomplicatedly be *gentle gasp* straight (??? listen i KNOW)#I'm only just about to start book 3 so my opinion is by no means conclusive or comprehensive of course. but those are my vibes#you know how rarely and hesitantly I bestow the 'heterosexual' headcanon upon a beloved blorbo but I think this is one such situation#his attachment and devotion to his silly lil guy seems to come from some far deeper and less readily explicable source#than any such humdrum motives as human sexuality or romantic feeling however sincere could account for lol#it's not exactly parental but sometimes it feels like peter has two moms. his mom. and bunter who actually does most of the mom stuff lol#(or arguably also the wife stuff if we start to look uncomfortably deeply into the overlapping roles in traditional gender politics)#also wrapped up soooo much class stuff and the politics of caretaking physical AND emotional inherent in that#don't worry tho I am seeing rampant queercoding in plenty of other places lol (can we TALK about parker marrying peter's sister.#like ok king. I'm sure that means nothing. also everything about sir impey biggs. what a delight of a character I'm obsessed with him)#(one thing I really noted in clouds of witness is that denver's valet doesn't note Anything about his employer's mail or general mood#can you IMAGINE for even a second bunter not being on top of all of peter's correspondence. not attuned to his emotional state#or interested in his well-being at any moment in time. no you cannot. that is a thing that just would not happen.#I suppose denver does not have the sheer pathetic sad wet cat energy peter has that awakens the protective instinct in people lmao#I jest but I do have deeper thoughts about for all the fantasy of financial independence and freedom from worry he represents#wimsey is right from the getgo a character defined by his vulnerability and interconnectedness -- in being dependent#on the people in his life to help him manage his mental health. he is so fundamentally not a lone detective he's so deeply entrenched#in a social and societal context right from the beginning!!! he seems lonely in many ways but he NEEDS people around him#in a way and with a urgent fragility I feel is rare in the genre and with the tropes at play. and bunter#is in many ways the emotional center of that here in the early days. he keeps peter's world together more than anyone. fascinating stuff#(peter holding on to parker's trenchcoat at the end of whose body hit me so tenderly right behind the ribs my god)
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Do you like my art? Do you wish I would draw something specific? Great news!
~COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN!~
If you are interested in commissioning me, please fill out the google form and I'll reach out to you as slots become available!
[Ko-fi - Google Form Link]
#Commission info#PLEASE NOTE ONCE AGAIN: These prices are not USD - these are cheaper than you may think.#I have put a ton of work into this and I am so thankful to everyone who helped me out!#There are still probably bumps I need to iron out as I go but I will try my best. Feedback is very welcome!#If there are a lot of people interested I may have a waitlist but I doubt I'll have that many offers. I'm still pretty new here!#The money I make from this is honestly mostly going to go back into funding this art hobby of mine. Ink is expensive!#Thank you also for all the love and support for my comics. Without it I'd never have the confidence to do commissions.#Even if you can't afford it right now - know I really appreciate it all. From the lurker to the frequent commenter: thank you <3#Don't worry about the horse by the way. She's just here to keep watch.
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I talk a lot about my partner being hot and both of us getting more confident trying kinks together, but also they make me feel so comfortable and confident in myself that now we're talking about me dominating them. Ive done it a little bit, but it's usually just when I'm flirting/teasing them.
I'm still very anxious, which will probably never go away, but it's a lot easier to manage when their immediate response to me telling them I want to put them on a leash and give them commands on how to touch/fuck me is "I would pant and bark for you."
#i am. a little nervous about being in control like that#i know id enjoy it but i also get flustered really easily and i worry about ruining the mood#but also the image of them on their knees being so *eager* to do exactly what i say is. unbelievably hot#also we already talked about why im nervous and they told me either i get to have fun and be hot and in control#or I get too flustered and they get to have their fun with me instead. win win!#which honestly was super reassuring??#thats what makes them so wonderful to me#no matter what the situation if I'm nervous or uncomfortable they will find some way to either reassure me or make the situation better#I'm not scared of getting too embarrassed and freezing up! because i know there will be zero judgement#and I'll get railed and worshipped like a goddess no matter what#my post#queer nsft#nsft lesbian#lesbian nsft#mildly nsft
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Have you considered selling merch? Some stickers pins or patches of the boys would go hard
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#I get asked about merch sometimes and yes it's something I think about every now and then#but I'm not sure how that would go#small businesses are a lot of work#I'm forgetful and get overwhelmed really really easily#I'm a socially awkward introvert so I reckon I'd have challenging time on the customer service side of things#but it's not a hard no maybe I manage to get gutsy enough in the future who knows#would honestly love to design some stickers pins or patches#been considering it for a few years already weh#answered#anonymous#I'm worried people would be put off by the Finnish shipping fees. our postage rates are pretty high unfortunately#and not to get too deep into it but I also have some internal ideological rules about what kind of objects I want to put out into the world#it'd have to be good stuff I don't want to sell people anything that would become junk in five years if I can avoid it
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SONIC RUSH! 💙💜
Double-sided, 3.5” acrylic charm, available now!
#Sonic the Hedgehog#Blaze the Cat#Cream the Rabbit#Miles Tails Prower#Sonic Rush#I love the DS and the Rush games so I'm really excited about this one!!#They're big charms since I was worried the little text would be hard to read otherwise but honestly they're really cute!#Tiny baby DS#It's one charm btw it's just double-sided I'm realizing this pic makes it seem like two different things lol#Shop
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There's a Pokémon Presents on July 22nd . . .
Maybe they'll tell us what happened to Friede then.
#provided there are no breaks between now and then we'll have 8 new episodes of Horizons#so like. honestly. finding out Friede's fate from the Presents is as likely as finding it out in the show by that time#pokemon#pokemon horizons#pokeani#anipoke#professor friede#lmao imagine it opens with like#''Before we begin we would like to have a moment of silence for our dearly departed Professor Friede.#We have prepared a memorial slideshow to honor him. Please take a look.''#honestly that would be so shocking it would loop right around to funny. i would feel bad laughing at the confirmation he was dead#but can you *imagine*#they'd need to play some really cheesy song over it too#like that one that goes ''I will remember you . . . will you remember me . . .''#and it's not even clips it's literally just still images. bonus points if they were sepia tinted#ok i'm sorry this post wasn't supposed to be about this but it popped into my head and now i'm laughing about it#the idea of a cheesy memorial slideshow for Friede during the Presents is just sending me#and if you're like ''what about Amethio'' don't worry fam I gotchu#since Amethio didn't get a death scene and we've all but been told that he's just missing / still has people looking for him#then after the Friede memorial slideshow they'd be like#''Next we would like to announce a new product line. We are releasing special edition cartons of flavored milk in all 7-Elevens.''#(see bc 7-Eleven is in Japan *and* the U.S.)#and then they would show the milk carton and on one side it would have a HAVE YOU SEEN ME? with Amethio's portrait#and a fake phone number you can call. or bonus it's a real phone number but it just goes to a recorded line#where Hamber asks you to please leave your tip / info at the beep.#see look they should hire me i have all the best ideas#why am i not on the payroll#they're missing out
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Bendy and Cup go to therapy but only because the other is SO sick and tired of their emotions that they DRAG each other to therapy arguing about who needs it more
#orb ponders#the inky mystery#Bendy: That's it! I can't take your moodiness anymore! Scratchensniff!!!#Cup: MY moodiness!? LOOK IN A MIRROR! YOUR THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO SEE HIM! NOT ME!#Honestly surprised they haven't complained about the inconvenience of being stuck with each other's emotional wellbeing#Actually now that I think about it that's so sweet of them#They just get worried about each other#They're my fav characters and fav dynamic#Platonic dynamic I can't say I'm interested in shipping them really#I'm prob jinxing it and they'll complain here soon#Ik there was a throwaway of “WTH WAS THAT EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER CUP?” tht one chap but I don't rlly count tht
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the training montage in crossroads re-ignited a headcanon i had of geralt waking up and doing gymnastics, performing kickflips and mid-air spins around on a fencepost outside an hour before sunrise to ‘limber up,’ and bleary-eyed dandelion wrapping himself up in a blanket to be like "heyyy... what the hell are you doing 💖"
#if you're wondering what kind of moves he's doing he's standing on a fencepost and doing your typical flexibility stretches#but alternating between reps of stretches with kickflips from one post to the other#like ciri training in kaer morhen#i'm not going to lie witchers are cool but fandom ruined them a bit for me and now crossroads has given me that childlike wonder back#because fandom heard 'physical ability and stamina' and did you know what with it#but the agility and precision of witchers remain so underrated. as part of the deconstruction of the superhuman trope#geralt doesnt really show off as much in the books and does cool stuff only when needed but#like when (mentioned) he hit the rat in the darkness with his thrown fork... as a party trick#and killing renfri's men in the market at blaviken... and killing the scoia'tael on thanedd#and RUNNING ALONG THE BRIDGE on the battle of the bridge#and the nilfgaardians were amazed and they WERE AMAZED AS THEY DIED!!!!!!!!#and killing rience's mercenaries who didn't know who they were fighting so they were like hey what the fuck... what the fuck#i'm literally back to witcher 101 basics here. nothing interesting to contribute but like a little boy i am just smiling and saying#'dude geralt of rivia is soooo cool he can like fight a bunch of guys with his sword'#half of me wants to seek deeper themes and half of me is just like YOOO GERALT SO COOL !!#listen... there is a time to plant a time to reap#a time to analyze and a time to geek#i should probably just watch a bunch of ballet or best of gymnastics comps and i'll find what i'm looking for#also sorry CROSSROADS OF RAVENS SPOILERS artamon dying was a hilarious moment i know it was like oooh this will have consequences#but it was nice to have the evil antagonist get merked in the sme chapter as he's fucking introduced#and not even by mature experienced geralt but by some literal eighteen year-old who he tried pulling a fast one on#1) i was happy that sapkowski didn't drag it out terribly. this was humorous and refreshing after in season of storms#2) geralt almost riding off but having a feeling to go back... listen i know it's so cliche and it's giving lady of the lake chapter 4#where he eavesdrops in the caves under castle zubarran and just happens to hear stefan skellen reveal that vilgefortz was in castle stygga#but it also was satisfying to me because after reading the hussite trilogy#where reynevan (stupid and young man; like geralt here) DOES NOT LEARN after several. SEVERAL lessons#i was honestly worried for a second that we were going to get a reynevan moment. but no. because this is geralt and not reynevan#and seeing geralt develop critical thinking skills in real time was not only satisfying but a bit funny#and yes nostalgiabaiting me#like omggggg yesss his detective skills yesss that's so geralt of him
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Since it's probably been done a million times already, would it be kinda stale if I drew my own version of the "Fallen Angel" painting (that famous one of Lucifer) but with Astarion?
#I hate to ask stuff like this cuz I know should really just do whatever#but idk' it just... seems so tired and like I'm stealing someone else's idea#but idk I really really wanna do it still though#-and please do not worry!!!! My miggy phase isn't over lmao' far far from it#this one idea has just kinda been swimming in my mind for a while#-it's just the 'tiredness' of it that has been holding me back lmao#and I mean' hell' honestly' I could draw it of Miguel too or instead#I do know that has already been done though' a while back
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