#I'm... still processing a lot of feelings
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The most Nefarious of Overtures.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan sizhui#lan jingyi#wei wuxian#su she#Woah what's this? Three PD-MDZS updates in a row? What is this? 2023? [Cue canned audience laugh track]#It's unlikely I'll be doing a fourth - the second siege has been a challenge to script for! Action scenes are tough!#I wrote a lot about my feelings on Su She in the notes of the last comic and there has been some great community discussion since!#I want to take a moment to say - Happy Make A Terrible Comic day!#I've been feeling a bit down on my work lately and I am once again reminded that it's supposed to be about the process!#Making something flawed is so much better than not making anything at all.#Here is a poorly-drawn-but-with-love comic for you all to enjoy. Including me!#Kill perfectionism! I'm still battling it but It gets weaker every day!
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So this comic and quote really describes what it feels like on flare days with chronic illnesses, and I wanna talk about it. For context, I am on a waitlist to be tested for EDS, in the process of being daignosed with POTS/dysautonomia, and I have severe Crohn's disease. There are days where i cannot stand up without my joints subluxing, my heart rate spiking, or feeling extremely sick. I cry... A lot... Like I've had these for problems for a very long time, but I still grieve what could have been, what I could have done, and what I used to do. There are so many things I have had to stop doing. So when it happens, I just sit down and cry. I give it time to process. I know I can keep going, but ignoring how it makes me feel just makes it even harder to function. Just a couple weeks ago I had to sit down in the hallway by the washer and dryer because of a heart rate spike of almost 200 BPM. I cried because I just wanted to take the clothes out of the dryer and take them to my room, I was grieving the way I felt in that moment and my past (mostly) healthy self. Every day there are these struggles, and i have feelings about it even if others do not realize it or see it. I'm never going to fully "accept" it, and I don't try to ignore the grief I have for my health... Instead, I let my self feel it and take it one step at a time, and when I'm ready, I go get the clothes out of the dryer.
I sit with my grief. I mother it. I hold its small, hot hand. I don’t say, shhh. I don’t say, it's okay. I wait until it is done having feelings. Then we stand and we go wash the dishes.
-- Callista Buchen, from Taking Care
#chronically ill#chronic illness#disabilties#disability#disabled#hypermobility#probably heds#dysautonomia#possible pots#crohn's disease#crohnie
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Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co
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You guys hear that? It's the sound of my original writing plans flying away because I got an AU idea. Mmmmm I love ADHD.
Oh well, this AU should be pretty cool and I hope you'll like it! This isn't a series I'm gonna be solely focusing on like the Eyes series. If yall wanna see more from this AU sooner rather than later, send in an ask.
To Die is to Live
Yandere!Monster!Forsaken x Reader; Yandere!Monster!Block Tales x Reader
Warnings: Obsession and other general yandere behaviors
Note: This is an AU heavily based on/directly inspired by Homicipher. @allimili 's CRK x Homicipher AU was also an inspiration (your work is so peak btw, never change). It's also gonna get really dark since it's basically a Homicipher AU of Forsaken and Block Tales.
Furthermore, I wanna say that this MC is akin to another alternate version of the Eyes MC. Teehee.
I love experimenting with my writing :D
And don't worry, I'll still fufill requests. I just wanted to write this. Enjoy!
--☆☆☆☆☆--
You didn't know how you got here.
Your memories felt like a jumbled mess, as if your head had been plucked off your body, shaken around like a maraca, and then placed back on your neck with no cares in the world.
Bruises litered your body, and you tasted something metallic in your mouth, as if you had bit your cheek. But you didn't feel any injuries inside your mouth, so you ignored it after spitting out what looked like normal saliva.
You rubbed your eyes, before your vision cleared a bit and you processed... uh.
You could only describe this place as... a mess. Mold stained the walls, cobwebs nestled in each corner, and stains covered the tile floor. This place felt like what you could only describe as a giant indoor mall as you scanned the area, wondering where you were and what was going on.
You searched in your brain, desperate for any hint of knowledge you weild to help you piece together where you were.
Then you recall the rumors online about an alternate world that can trap others within it if they enter a damaged room with no windows when it rains. You never really believed in them despite all the warnings older folk online gave you about them.
But... what if you got there?
You remember someone attacking you and you desperately fighting them off, before stumbling into a random room in the abandoned mall- soon to be torn down- to try to hide after you...
...
...
...
You don't remember what you did to that person. You can guess they beat you pretty badly, though, and you fled to avoid them killing you or worse, judging from all your wounds and how you've never been someone super strong.
You just stand up, looking for any exit and trying to recall all the information you knew about this place.
A lot of people, around your age at least, called the Other World a copy of the Backrooms. But this place, while giant, wasn't infinite. And there had to be a clear way out.
Of course, no one who went in came out according to the stories, but you could always change that.
You opened the only door and peered out, seeing no signs of life as you stared out into what looked like a giant abandoned mall. Like an alternate, larger, and more warped version of what you walked into to get here. But there were other things too, and made this place feel like a giant mashpit of so many different abandoned and damaged places.
You just walked out and wandered around, regretting that all you had on you was a black raincoat and your usual clothes. You didn't even have an umbrella.
You had no weapons in case there was anything dangerous here. And you were injured and had no clue how to fight. If there were any monsters like this was the Backrooms, you're as good as dead.
And being dead doesn't work well with your goal to go home.
Your feet pad across the dusty and dirty ground, and you look around for anything that seems familiar.
Maybe if you found the exit to the mall, that'd be the exit to this world. Maybe then you'd get home.
You weren't sure. You just hoped. And what more could you do?
You looked around as you went, trying to see anything that caught your attention. You noted what looked like green buds with leaves that you occasionally found nestled in an upper corner, but they didn't seem to special so you didn't pay them too much mind.
You did think you saw one close back into a bud when you looked at it, and you swore there was an eye at its center. You just looked away, not wanting to fuck around with the ominous plant things.
Though, after that, you tried to stay out in the open less. Hanging out near the walls and searching more intently for a weapon while hoping nothing showed up to attack you.
Unfortunately, you weren't that lucky.
A thumping sound approaching made you flinch and duck into an abandoned store-like area while peaking out slightly through the window to see whatever is wandering past.
Whatever it was, it looked like a fucked up human. It wore a hardhat that covered the entirely of its upper face, but you saw blood leaking down from the inside of the hat and staining the gray skin on his face. He seemed to be wearing a gray hoodie of sorts, but the blood that stained it made you uncomfortable.
He seemed to be looking around for something (you had no idea if he could see with no visible eyes) and you noted the hammer he held in one of his hands.
You just stayed still, hoping he would leave as you panicked over the fact there were monsters here. You just stayed quiet, not even daring to breathe.
Then his head turned to look over in your direction, then angled to stare directly at you. You didn't move, didn't breathe. Just stared at where his eyes would be while silently praying to whatever god was out there.
Your prayers were ignored.
Immediately, the creature moved, approaching the glass as it stared down at you, before raising its hammer.
You screamed, turned around, and ran through the store, hearing the shattering of glass behind you as you narrowly avoided the shards from hitting you, weaving through bare clothing racks and through aisles as you desperately sped away.
From the thumps you heard, it was following you. You just fled into the backrooms of the store and scurried into a box the moment you got space between you and the monster.
As you hoped your violent shaking wouldn't disturb the box to not give your location away, you felt tears stinging your eyes as you heard the thumps of the monster get closer happened, some unintelligible noises you didn't understand that sounded like it came from between two different beings, before the thumps faded away.
You didn't dare exit the box. Especially when you heard thumps again, these ones sounding different than the original monster's. Then you heard them pause, and the sound of boxes being opened nearby you.
Your breathing hitched as you quickly tried to bury yourself more in the box and hoped the monster would stay away.
Then some thumps got uncomfortably close, and the box you were in opened.
You stared up at this new monster, and screamed again.
--☆☆☆--
Whatever it was, it was definitely not human. Sure, this one had normal skin and was wearing glasses, but from the spider-like mandibles jutting out from the corners of its lips and the pupil-less and iris-less eyes with two smaller eyes above it, you knew this was a monster.
Its hands- with short claws on the end of each finger- rested on the sides of the box, keeping it open, as the monster stared down at you. Its mouth was open very slightly and you could see the fact it seemed to have stubble and was wearing... a burger-like hat. It also seemed to be wearing a blue sweater of sorts.
Then, another pair of near identical arms- separate from the ones holding the box open- reach into the box and pull your panicking and struggling form out. He held you out in front of him and only winced when you punched him in the head. He didn't seem too mad, though.
He just sighed and used his other pair of arms to pin your own to your sides. You squirmed, hoping he wouldn't eat you before,
"hxd xtjh? hxd dwqjavnm?"
You froze at the weird noises that emerged from his mouth, staring at him in confusion.
"...what?"
He stared at you, before speaking again.
"mxwc dwmnabcjwm. hxd bljanm. r fxwc qdac hxd. hxd bjon."
You stared at him blankly, trying to process whatever he was saying.
"hxd dwmnabcjwm vn? wx?"
You just slowly nodded, not understanding a word.
"...r cnjlq." He suddenly said, before using one of his extra limbs to point at himself, "vn." Then he pointed at you, "hxd."
Was he trying to teach you the language? Was he... friendly?
He repeated the words again and gave you an expectant look.
You hesitantly repeated the words, and he nodded and said them with the motions as if he was trying to get it into your head.
...
You decided to call him Mr. Spider, especially considering how his legs were what you could describe as four spider legs.
And god, you were relieved he wasn't eating you. But he wasn't putting you down either.
You hesitate, before motioning him to set you down. He gives you a confused look before... sitting?
You raise an eyebrow and try to pry yourself away, and he seems to finally process you don't want to be held onto and lets you go.
You back away as he stands up, looming over you. God, he's huge.
But as you start to walk away, he follows. His spidery feet tap against the ground as he easily keeps up with you.
You stare at him, face scrunched up in confusion.
"hxdan bljanm. r yaxcnlc. r oxuuxf jwm yaxcnlc." He casually tells you, staying close.
...you aren't fighting the giant spider man unarmed and when he's twice your size. You don't have a deathwish.
Though, Mr. Spider seemed to want to protect you, and you were not going to complain at all about having a giant man spider thing protecting you if anything else here was super dangerous.
...
"hxd" probably meant "you" and "vn" meant either "me" or "I". You weren't sure. All you knew is apparently this world has a whole different language compared to anything you heard.
And how Mr. Spider seemed more than willing to help teach you some of the language when you didn't understand.
You glance up at him, and he looks back at you with lidded eyes. You point at the shattered window, giving him a confused look.
"frwmxf." He notes, squinting a bit, "kaxtnw frwmxf."
...you're guessing "frwmxf" means window. No clue what "kaztnw" means, though.
As you and he went along, you continued pointing at things so he'd state what they are in his language so you'd understand it better.
It honestly was pretty helpful having a surprisingly friendly monster teaching you the language bit by bit. You didn't expect there to be friendly monsters here... at all. But at least there was Mr. Spider.
...
...
...
Loud stomps suddenly echoed through the halls, and you flinch and look around as Mr. Spider's eyes widen. Quickly, he grabs onto you and drags you close to him, and you see...
...
Oh god.
You stare up at whatever just crept out of the darkness. It's huge, looming over Mr. Spider and completely dwarfing you. It's skin was practically a neon red, with giant and demon-like horns sticking out of his forehead. A red hood and cape that matches it's skin color hangs off its body, and it seems to be emitting a glitch or fire effect of sorts, with visible and external ribs and an uncomfortably wide smile.
Black symbols are inscribed on its chest that you can't understand.
It stares directly at you and Mr. Spider, before making an excited noise and darting closer.
You flinch as it crouches down, it's demon-like tail seeming to wag as it speaks. It's black hands press against the walls, similarly-colored claws digging into the concrete, and you realize this thing is very, very powerful.
"mjm! mjm! hxd vjmn oarnwm?" It asks, it's voice loud and echoing, "mxnb oarnwm fjwc cx yujh? r fjwc cx yujh!"
You shake as it leans in close, intently staring at you. Mr. Spider shields you with his arms, before talking back at the new monster so quickly you can't even hear the words said.
A rapid conversation between the two happens, before the monster makes a happy noise and darts off, before making sounds like it's... counting?
Then Mr. Spider suddenly lifts you up and looks around, before placing you up in a gap in the ceiling and motioning you back into the dusty and dark space.
You have no idea what's happening as you creep back, barely able to see what's going on below you as Mr. Spider suddenly runs out of the room.
It's all quiet for a moment, your mind reeling as you try to process what just happened.
Then the red monster bursts back into the room, loudly giggling and toss around and open everything on the floor, as if... searching for something.
...does it think you're playing Hide and Seek with it?
As you see it throw aside a box and rip it open, you realize that if Mr. Spider didn't hide you up here, you'd probably be dead or injured enough you'd wish you were dead.
You shrink back slightly as the monster looks around before running out of the room, giggling.
...it acts a lot like a giant child. Hm...
You'll call it "Red Child".
You hear more sounds, more crashing and thuds, and eventually, you see Red Child excitedly scamper back into the room, and Mr. Spider follows after him, looking a little winded if not... slightly injured.
Red Child resumes searching for you, before Mr. Spider approaches your hiding space and gently pulls you out.
"oxdwm cqnv." He tells Red Child, who immediately perks up and bounds over.
"(You) qrmn fnuu! yujh jpjrw!" He says, trying to grab you. You flinch, and Mr. Spider thankfully pulls you away.
"fjrc. cqnhan fnjt. kn pnwcun. cqnh qdac njbh." Mr. Spider instructs, as Red Child seems disappointed for a moment before nodding and holding you like you were a misbehaving cat.
You sweat slightly as you stare at this giant, demonic monster child, who opens their mouth and shows rows of razor-sharp teeth. "r urtn hxd. (You) oarnwm."
You just frantically nod, not wanting to die.
"mjm! mjm! ljw fn tnny cqnv?" Red Child asks Mr. Spider, shaking you slightly. "cqnh odw! cqnh ldcn! r urtn!"
Mr. Spider just nods. "hnb."
Okay, judging from the nod that is clearly a version of "yes"...
Red Child makes a series of happy noises, shaking you a bit as they excitedly talk. "oarnwm! oarnwm! (You) bcjh qnan! fn yujh!"
...you're so screwed, aren't you?
--☆☆☆--
Being practically carried throughout the Other World by Red Child, who was fucking huge, while Mr. Spider stayed close was a fucking fever dream. And being brought to what you could only describe as someone who took a large closet and set some things up to make what you figured were makeshift beds with other things scattered about.
Being dropped into what was a mess of random clothes, towels, and even some blankets and pillows stunned you too.
Red Child giggles and begins to point around at thing. He starts with where you're sitting, which is the much larger one of the piles of clothes and other things.
"vh knm." Then he points at the smaller pile (which is still pretty big), "mjm knm."
"mjm"... he uses that word to refer to Mr. Spider. You wonder what it means.
Though, "knm" probably means "bed".
Red Child looks around, before his smile twitches, looking like he wants to frown and... can't.
"mjm!" He calls over to Mr. Spider, who looks up from where he was grabbing some things. "oarnwm mxnbw'c qjen (bed)! fn wnnm (bed) oxa oarnwm!"
What does "oarnwm" mean? It clearly refers to you, though. You're so confused.
"fnuu pnc oarnwm (bed). oxxm orabc." Mr. Spider says, picking up what looks like... uh... a bucket?
"dwmnabcxxm!" Red Child chirps out, "(you) cjtn oarnwm?"
"(You) fjwc (me) cjtn oarnwm?"
"(Yes)! cjtn oarnwm! oarnwm ldarxdb! bnn?" Red Child pokes your cheek, accidentally scraping your cheek slightly with his claw. You don't mention it, just staring blankly ahead. Then Red Child leans in close, tilting his head, "(you) fjwc px?"
You nod slightly, hesitant.
"bnn! oarnwm fjxc px!"
Mr. Spider stares at you, his expression calm, before he nods. Then he approaches you and picks you up, and you squirm a bit as you get carried out, Red Child waving at you until you're brought out and set down on the ground.
Are they... trying to keep you as a pet or something? They were talking about a bed for... you?
You glance up at Mr. Spider, who stares down at you before motioning you to follow him. He starts walking, and you stay still until he's a good bit away, and you book it.
So what if he's friendly? If he's trying to keep you as a pet with Red Child, that's a hell no from you.
You speed through the place, hoping your shoes are enough to muffle the sound of you running as you try your best to lose Mr. Spider as you hear him make a sound of confusion and follow after.
And somehow, you manage to do it.
You collapse on the ground, wheezing and shaking as sweat oozes off your brow and tears sting your eyes. But as the thuds fade away, you figure you're safe.
You sit there, processing everything for a long moment before you hear what sounds like digitized laughter.
"Q4Q4Q4Q4Q4Q4!" You look around in a panic, as the voice continues, "U0U. H0DAN VXA3 BL4A3M CQ4W K1AM."
Your eyes then lock with what looks like some kinda fucked up plant nestled in a corner of the wall, this one unfurled with an eye in the center staring right at you as a venus flytrap-like mouth talks.
"H0DA3 BV4UU. C1WH. URCCU3." You think it... snickers? "QXF 4A3 (you) WXC M3JM?"
"...better than you, you bitchless creepy ass plant." You mutter back, grimacing.
"FQ4C?"
"..." You just stand up and back away from the plant.
"(Y0u) BLJANM? P0XM. K3 BLJA3M." The plant tells you, "L4WC FJ1C CX F4CLQ (y0u) MR3. XA L0V3 C0 (me) BX 1 L4W T1UU (you)."
You just flip it off and run for dear life, ignoring the plant's cackles as you go.
Great, sentient plants. What's next? Headless horseman clone?
As you slow down, shaking and wheezing as you cower in an abandoned bathroom, you flinch as you hear a voice. A different and unfamilar voice.
"yvccf."
You look around, and notice something... glowing in the stalls. Something yellow.
You look around frantically and see a crowbar laying on the floor. You immediately grab it, and hold it in front of you with shaking hands as you approach the stall. You shove it open and look around, holding the crowbar above you as you're ready to swing it and...
...
You don't see anything directly in front of you...
"cffb ufne."
You flinch at the voice again and look all around, looking down and seeing the source of the yellow glow. It's a blue jack-o-lantern emitting a yellow glow, with black antlers, that seem to curl into each other like thorn vines, sticking out of it.
Then it talks.
"yvccf."
You scream and drop the crowbar.
--☆☆☆--
Somehow, despite the language barrier, you were convinced to carry around the pumpkin.
You aren't sure how. It's just when you picked up the crowbar and tried to run the pumpkin started talking loudly and quickly until you picked it up and it calmed down.
And now, you're taking it some place as it sort of teaches you the language.
"(Left)." It instructs you, and you go that way, "(forward)."
You now know "left", "right", "forward", "go back", and "no" in this language due to the instructions you kept getting. You just hoped wherever you were going wasn't a death trap.
...at least you still had the crowbar with you.
As you approached a hallway with a blank front door at the end of it, you hesitated as the pumpkin instructed you to go forward.
In the end though, you go forward and open the door with shaky hands, and you hold your breath.
The room you walk into almost bears a resemblance to a living room, with furniture that looked like it used to be display, and a table littered with...
...
Bones. And a headless, giant, robed body sat nearby.
You freeze as the body stands up suddenly, white arms outstretched towards you as you shove the pumpkin into its hands and back up, fumbling with the door in a panic.
"kyreb pfl, bzeu jkirexvi." The pumpkin tells you as it is placed upon the stump of the body's neck. It uses a hand to hold the pumpkin in place as it walks across the room.
A lump on the couch moves, and a large, humanoid shape sits up. Losely draped on its body is a black cloak of sorts, and you see dozens of yellow and white wings sticking out of its body. Its skin is feathery and yellow, and there's messy brown hair on its head.
It turns to look at you, and you don't see its eyes. But it seems to smile as it lets out a laugh-like sound.
"yr! nyf kyzj tlkv jkirexvi?" It says, and it sits up as it seems to stare at you.
You hate how sweaty your palms are as you try to open the door, too scared to turn your back out of fear one of them will attack.
"ufek befn. kyvp yvcg (me)." The pumpkin man says (you're just gonna call him Mr. Pumpkin), and you see him now holding what looks like a needle. "z evvu yvcg kyivruzex evvucv."
"z xfk zk." A new voice says, as another door in this room opens and...
...that monster wearing the hard hat walks in.
It freezes when it notices you, and you two stare with locked eyes (ignoring his lack of eyes) for too long.
You manage to open the door and stumble out.
"nrzk!" The winged one suddenly says, and quickly gets up. Before you know it, you're picked up and carried back into the room by the winged man. "nyp (you) ileezex? pfliv xfeer xvk vrkve flk kyviv."
You quake as the winged man looks at the one in the hard hat, who's helping Mr. Pumpkin stitch the pumpkin on. "nyrk uzu (you) uf kf jtriv kyvd jf sru?"
The one in the hard hat hums, before speaking. "z jrn kyvd svyzeu (window). z kizvu kf xirs kyvd kf drbv jliv kyvp uzuek uzv, jf z sifbv kyv nzeufn. kyvp jtivrdvu reu ire. kyvp jtriv vrjp."
You squirm as you're unceremoniously dumped on the couch, and the winged man (you're calling him Mr. Bird since he looks like a weird bird) looms over you, smiling as it sounds weirdly cheerful. "ufek sv jtrivu, tlkv! ef fev nzcc vrk (you). (You) jrwv."
Tears drip out of your eyes as Mr. Bird pets you on the head. "grk, grk. ef tipzex, (you) jrwv."
Why does this keep happening to you..?
#endri yaps#yandere forsaken#roblox forsaken#forsaken x reader#yandere forsaken x reader#block tales#forsaken#block tales x reader#forsaken homicipher au#block tales homicipher au#yandere block tales#yandere block tales x reader
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Cockwarming anon again! Dude… that fic was so fucking good, i’m still reeling from it. Like, read it multiple times, squealing and kicking my feet 🙈❤️❤️❤️
So, I offer you this idea as a little thank you (also apologies in advance if this sucks, i’m not a writer, i’m just extremely thirsty and bobpilled rn);
So they’re not fucking, right? But they’re also technically not not fucking.
It’s taken Bob a little while to actually process what’s going on, and what exactly he’s feeling. It takes him a little while to figure out that, sure, he’s getting comfort, but there’s something else in there, something deeper, more primal.
He develops little fixations, and right now he’s fixated on her thighs. He doesn’t know how he’s never noticed them before, how soft and supple they look. Pure comfort. He finds himself wanting to touch them at all times, and she lets him without question, of course, but it only makes him worse.
He’ll sit closer to her so his legs can press against hers as much as possible, he’ll grab them under the table at meals. He’ll even ask to lay his head on them when they’re watching movies together. Slowly escalating, pawing, rubbing his face against them like a cat, sweating, whining, drooling, until his head is enclosed between them, face pressed against against her core. Panting, shaking, eyes closed in complete bliss like he’s finally found heaven.
Just wait until he figures out that he’s a munch.
babe i know you said you arent a writer but you SHOULD be holy shit 😵💫 also thank you! i'm so so so glad you liked the last one 🩷🩷🩷
i'm thinking about doing a part two to this just so i can write about him getting pussy drunk tbh he deserves that. # bob reynolds is a munch
cw: rob bein a nasty lil freak, uhhhh scent kink(? kind of?), nsfw but no real sex, reader knows robby is a weirdo and is Totally into it, talks of addiction (not a lot but mentioned), short because i got sick 💔👎, hope you enjoy 😌🩷
It starts off small. It always does with Bob. One tiny thing that snowballs into an addiction, and leaves him reeling. Once upon a time it was morphine, and then worse, but now? Now it’s you.
Small things— things no one but him would notice. The way you smile when he tells you about his day, no matter how boring it is. The way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, the way you glow.
More recently though, he can’t stop thinking about your legs. He’ll sit in the gym and watch you spar with Walker or Yelena, not understanding why the sight of their hands on you makes his skin crawl.
Instead of focusing on that feeling though, he zeroes in on your legs. The way they tense up, strike out to catch your opponent in the gut, the way they look when you have them wrapped around someones neck, pinning them to the ground.
They’re beautiful, even when you aren’t fighting. He finds himself drawn in, big warm palm sliding over the fabric of your sweats to knead at your thigh mid movie night. He isn’t trying to be a creep, isn’t making any attempt to get handsy, just wants to feel the plushness of it in his grip.
It devolves quickly. Gentle squeezes turn to fingerprint bruises that he feels genuinely awful for. You don’t ever mind, though. Your best friend is just tactile, he doesn’t know his own strength sometimes, and it’s not like you’re complaining, so why is he upset?
He stops squeezing as much, but it leaves something of a hole behind in his day to day. An ache he can’t explain, a longing that feels bone deep. Until you pull him to lay his head on your lap one day, and he’s found a new thing to be hooked on. Revels in the way the plush skin bows under his cheek, how you always end up petting through his hair. It ends up being a surefire way to put him to sleep, eventually.
It’s just too comforting. To have your attention on him so completely, your fingers in his soft curls and his cheek smushed against your soft thigh.
One day, the tower is empty, save you and Rob. He’s twitchy, strung tight like a rubber band ready to snap, skin buzzing with a power he still doesn’t understand and doesn’t think he deserves.
But you’re there, too, and that helps. Pulling him in with gentle hands, and he expects the usual. His head on your lap, your hand in his hair, but you shift. Your knees part, and you pat your tummy invitingly.
“I wanna lay down too, goofy.” You explain, laughing softly at his puzzled expression. He can’t stop staring long enough to come up with a verbal response. You’re wearing shorts, cotton boxers that pull taut at your thighs, dimpling the skin a bit, and his mouth waters.
His sigh is heavy and tremulous when he nuzzles his face against your stomach, lays flat on his front between your legs, arms wrapped up beneath your thighs, his hands splayed under your lower back.
“S’better.” He mumbles, lashes fluttering as he breathes in the scent of you. That’s where it starts, really. Your scent.
Warmth, clean sweat and a heady musk that makes him a little dizzy, he seeks it out. Noses down your tummy, wriggles southward until his face is buried between your thighs.
You giggle— honest to God giggle— and heat licks up his spine.
“Sorry-” He mutters, not making any attempt to actually pull away. “M’sorry. You smell so good,” He whispers, hands sliding to press your thighs closer around his head, nosing at your cunt through the soft material of your shorts. “S’so fuckin’ warm here.” He croaks out, just on the edge of a whine, nails biting into your supple skin.
“It’s okay, Robby,” You murmur, ever so indulgent, especially when he’s whining against your clothed core, already drooling into the fabric. “You can stay. You’re good, bubs.”
He almost sobs at the reassurance, brain going blissfully empty when you squeeze your thighs around his head gently.
He’s trembling just a little bit, huffing these shakey breaths against your core like he can’t quite catch his breath, pretty blue eyes unfocused and heavy lidded. Blissed out on just the smell and the feel of you, the way your thighs block out the sound of the room and the constant buzzing in his brain when they press to his ears.
He falls asleep like that, mouthing at your cunt through the shorts, letting out short little whimpers and huffy groans, your fingers in his hair and your thighs pressed to his ears.
You can only sigh, slip into a nice catnap as well, knowing full well the whole process will begin again when he wakes up.
#certified loverboy robert reynolds#robert reynolds x reader#robert reynolds#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds#thunderbolts*#lewis pullman#my angel baby#he's so gross *sighs dreamily*#he'd be a real eater too#'what d'you mean you need to shower :(' type shit#why cant he be mine dude im crashing out
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I really like the approach your blog takes towards shifting in this community full of "Just assume" "Just decide that you're in your DR" yada yada. Although that does work, and the law of assumption sure is real, I do believe in it. But its application (keyword: Application) to things like shifting is something I have no idea how to do and I'm sure I am not the only one who has this issue, especially if the DRs are very "different" from our CR (fictional DRs most of the time fall under this category) Our ego does indeed play a HUGE role in what our awareness experiences through the physical plane. The "Assume you're in your DR" does work but it then also has many other supporting factors for those it does work and I realized that by reading your posts. Its okay if it does NOT work for some or is really hard to follow through with lets just be honest rn instead of blaming people for "not persisting" or some other crap 😭😭😭 Because straight up using LOA, esp for a place you haven't even felt a breeze of, aren't even completely sure is real??? Can be really wonky.
I thank you for making posts that give ACTUAL STRUCTURE to shift.. that, simply using the LOA logic lacks. And I love how you do state that it is not a process but rather like an instant flick of a switch.
Honestly, I relate to this so much. I used to believe much more strongly in the law of assumption, but the more research I do and the deeper I go into shifting, the less I fully trust it as a universal explanation. I do think it's a tool, and for some people it works great, but assuming it's a one-size-fits-all rule is extremely misleading.
If we take the law of assumption seriously, then we also have to recognize that people have vastly different abilities to assume. I have a highly rational mind and tend to resist anything that feels irrational or unproven. For me to accept something as true, I often need either an explanation or a heavily altered state of consciousness (ASC) where my mind allows it.
Even when I practice hypnosis , I see very clearly how differently people respond to suggestion and belief implantation. For some, one session is enough to accept a belief. For others, it might take dozens of sessions,and still, some struggle. The mind's critical factor doesn't work identically for everyone.
If I still fully believed in LOA, I'd probably say it's been extremely oversimplified, and that some advice can even be harmful. For example, telling someone who's feeling frustrated to "persist" with no nuance can easily backfire and feed into a frustration loop, especially for neurodivergent people or people who cognitively analyze their emotions deeply. The problem is that a lot of LOA advice assumes everyone processes things like belief, assumption, and persistence in the same linear way.
Obviously, for someone who has shifted often, assuming "shifting is real and natural" will be a much easier belief to hold than for someone who's never consciously shifted before. Their awarness already has experiential confirmation. For someone without that, it's a different challenge.
Also, I 100% agree with you that shifting isn't really a process, it's instantaneous at the moment it happens. The "process" is the preparation beforehand. I don’t believe at all in the "3D lag" concept; not only is there no proof for it, but almost everyone who shifts describes it as immediate once it occurs. I think a lot of these "lag" beliefs are more like coping mechanisms or ways to comfort oneself when it's taking longer than expected.
As someone who practices hypnosis, I can confidently say: assumptions and belief implantation are way more unstable and nuanced than people realize. Teaching people that assumption alone is enough, without considering individual differences, does more harm than good for a lot of shifters.
I honestly had a lot to say on this, but to sum it up: I fully agree with your take, and i think it's a part of the spiritual meritocracy and individualistic tendancies.
#fulfillment#reality shifting#shifting#reality shifting community#self concept#shifting methods#shifting help#desired reality#shiftinconsciousness#dr self#shifting reality#shifters#kpop shifting#shifting memes#shifting stories#shiftingrealities#anti shifters dni#black shifters#marvel shifting#reality shifter#shiftblr#shiftblr community#shifter#shifting advice#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting consciousness#shifting diary#shifting motivation
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This is so real.
for myself, I've just had to realize when I'm talking to someone who has no desire to understand me.
because yeah, ableist people be ableist, bigots be bigots, selfish people be selfish, and it will be a losing game every time trying to make them come around.
i had this happen with a friend who had hurt my feelings. I kept it very short and polite because I didn't want to be angry with her or make her feel bad. and then she interpreted that negatively and had a lot of questions for me about my feelings. so i tried to take that in good faith, and explained myself in more detail. I tried to be both empathetic but clear, but really explain and answer her questions. she kept asking me to explain my feelings and at some point I felt that I was being asked to justify having an emotion, which I explained why that hurt. She wasn't getting it, so I explained with more words in an attempt to be clear while being honest how what was happening was frustrating and hurtful to me. she took that as aggression and an unwillingness to work things out with her (the precise thing I was attempting to do). and then she blocked me.
that stung and for a while i thought, hm did i fuck up. but the thing is, no i didn't. really, what it was about is that she refused to accept that she had done something hurtful. so the issue wasn't how i was communicating. it was that she refused to accept a world where she hurt my feelings - even if I had told her it was okay and that I know she didn't mean harm and that I had moved on. Instead, she needed to dissect why I was hurt to begin with and challenge it, rather than accepting that she was a human being who made a mistake. that person wasn't interested in my feelings or my take on the situation. they were interested in being right. and when they couldn't find a path to that with me, they just bounced.
I've also had this happen when requesting disability accommodations after getting a job offer. I requested clarity. I got obtuse replies. I gave more clarity. I got more obtuse replies. That was interpreted as me not wanting to participate in a good faith process. The reality was, the process was not good faith, and it never would have been, no matter what I said.
This feeling of no matter what you say it being wrong can be crushing and frustrating. because at least for me, I feel my autistic brain is really set on there being a solution, a right way to say something to get through to someone or to bridge a connection. and a sincere desire and deep need to be understood and heard. what I've had to come around to is that... sometimes people do not want to hear me. and if they don't, yeah, no matter what I choose, it results in misunderstanding.
I give it a genuine good go once or twice but if they're still interpreting me in the worst faith way possible or choosing to not really hear me then, yanno, time to not bother talking to someone who isn't listening and go talk to someone else worthwhile. I just try to remember that the failure is not mine, here. Someone who doesn't want to listen will never hear me. And people who don't actually want to hear me are never, ever worth my energy in the long run.
The people who really want to listen are out there. I say my thing, I be myself, and I see what the other person does with it.
I LOVE being autistic and trying to communicate because every time it’s

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When you finish writing a big story and you became very close the characters, was there a time after where you were like "i kind of want to revisit these characters again, but i should probably just let the story be, they deserve to rest" Im not talking about wanting to write a sequel, is more about still coming up with fun ideas for them, maybe a little scene or something, but choosing not to do anything with it because it'd feel disrespectful to the ending you gave them?
This doesn't happen to me, no.
The reason is that, once I finish the story, my sense of "being close to the characters" suddenly vanishes. And, although there are rare moments where it (briefly) returns, it mostly stays gone.
I can't remember if I've ever talked about this in detail before, but – when I'm in the process of writing a story, especially near the end, the characters feel "real" to me in a very strong and kind of uncanny way.
I don't actually believe that they exist as independent entities from me (much less sentient ones), but it does almost feel like that's true, when I'm in the thick of the writing process.
I have no trouble intellectually distinguishing fiction from reality, even in the state I'm describing. But my emotional and intuitive relationship with my characters, when I'm in that state, is pretty similar to the one I have with real people I know in real life. And there are a bunch of... uh, mental phenomena?... associated with this that I'm slightly afraid to describe because I worry they'll sound like hallucinations or delusions if I don't add a lot of caveats.
For example, when I'm alone in a room writing (especially if I'm writing in the middle of the night), I sometimes feel like it's not just me in the room, that the character I'm writing about is "there with me," in much the same way I'd be aware of someone real person's presence if I knew they were in the room but didn't happen to be looking in their direction. Or: sometimes I feel like the characters' voices are "flowing through me," that I'm merely taking dictation from them – and will sometimes even think to myself: "man, I'm so grateful that the character is helping me write this part, because if I tried to do it all by myself there's no way I would get it right." And it takes a moment before I realize, wait, no, I am writing it by myself – at least in a literal and physical sense.
Basically if you read this post, and then sort of read between the lines of it under the assumption that I'm downplaying how weird the experience actually is because I'm worried an accurate account would make me sound kind of unhinged... then you will have roughly the right impression of what the writing experience is like for me.
Whatever is going on here, it feels like it's probably on some kind of spectrum that also contains stuff like tulpas, multiple systems, and maybe also the way that children can sometimes get really deeply wrapped up in their imaginary play. I don't know how common this stuff is among writers (maybe it is common but rarely talked about?). It's not something I've experienced anywhere else in life; I don't experience it with other people's fictional characters or stories, or with fantasies I have that aren't associated with a work in progress, and I don't remember ever experiencing it before I started writing fiction as an adult.
Anyway, as I said at the top, the moment I finish writing a story, this phenomenon simply turns off, suddenly and completely. The transition is very noticeable when it happens, and makes me feel something akin to grief or loneliness over the brief span between the moment it starts and the moment it is fully completed – like I've just lost a bunch of close friends at once.
With Almost Nowhere, I remember a very specific feeling – on the evening of the day when I finished writing – that the characters were "departing 'into' the finished book," reverting to a lesser existence as "mere words" rather than "real people," as though they had been plastic toys animated by Terra Ignota's Bridger, and were now turning back into toys again. It made me sad, for a little while, but once they'd fully "lost their reality" I no longer cared, because it was that same sense of reality that made me care, and now it was gone.
So, to finish answering your question: I don't feel an urge to return to my old characters, because it feels intuitively obvious that doing this is impossible. That anything else I wrote about them would be inauthentic, somehow, in a way that the original work wasn't. They were "there," before, but they're "gone," now. This difference is very stark, and very hard to ignore.
(As I noted above, they do sometimes "come back" to me – very rarely, and very briefly, but that is enough for a proof of concept. Perhaps, if I were to try, I could find some way to "bring them back" for longer intervals. But I doubt I will ever try that. I feel a bit afraid of the concept for several reasons – for one thing, the "inauthenticity" I just mentioned squicks me out and I'd prefer not to come too close to it, and I also have a baseline wariness of doing stuff that seems too much like messing around with my own mental health. There's also a "catch-22" involved here, where I don't feel motivated about the characters the way I used to, and that means I'm not even motivated to do things that would generate that motivation. The "target" of the effort won't appeal strongly to me until I've already gone to the trouble of obtaining it, which means the effort doesn't feel justified in the first place.)
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I’m also a writer, of both fanfics and works I hope to publish someday, and I was wondering if I could ask your advice. I have a number of larger projects that I want to undertake, but thinking about how long it’s going to take to finish them makes me anxious and then I won’t even start. You’re an incredible writer and you have so many finished works; how do you do it? What would you recommend for someone who feels incredibly daunted by the lengthy and disheartening process that is writing a novel or series?
Also thank you for your Accidental Warlord series; it brings me inexpressible joy every time I read it
Oooh okay this is a complicated one. Let's see.
First off, and this is hard: don't compare your output to other authors. I have what my friends affectionately refer to as Wordy Bitch Disease. I write a lot, I write fast, and I write clean enough copy that Rose isn't doing copyedits, she's doing plot and characterization fixes. I start a new WIP...pretty near daily some weeks, and they do not all get done. My WIPs list is frankly fucking terrifying. But it's important to note that I have been writing pretty consistently for twenty years at least, and I was not as fast, coherent, or skilled when I started. For that matter, when I'm tired or stressed or just feeling blah, sometimes the words don't come, and it's important not to beat yourself up about it when that happens.
Second bit of advice: start smaller. I really, really like flash fic challenges and themed prompt lists and tumblr ask memes, because they make me limit my story to what can be told in a few thousand words. That lets me improve my craft without getting bogged down in enormous plotlines. (Yes, sometimes the story still grows a plot. But it's less frequent.)
Third bit of advice: take little bites, and accept that it's going to take a long time and possibly several drafts. When I started MBTT, I genuinely thought it would be 50K. (I am bad at estimating finished lengths of stories.) But I still took it one chapter at a time, and tried to have each chapter be a coherent whole, a chunk of story that needed to be told. When I'm working on the AWAU, if I think about the whole overarching storyline too much, I get overwhelmed and have to go stick my head under a proverbial rock for a while. But one story is doable, most of the time. I've had to restart drafts for some stories two, three, four times to get the voice and style and plot to cooperate. Be willing to say, That's not working, and try something else, even if you're really fond of what you've written so far.
Fourth bit of advice: learn what style of planning works for you. Some people like to outline in great detail. Some people like a sketchy outline. Some people, like me, can't outline - it kills the story for me. The WIP I started this morning has a notes section for important characterization details and the single plot point "Bandits?" Anything more than that, and I won't write it, because in some sense I've already written it so why bother doing it again?
Fifth and final bit of advice, because this is getting long: if you can find a cheer-reader, cherish them. Having someone in the doc leaving comments or emoticons helps immensely with knowing how my readers will react and with keeping my own enthusiasm for a story stoked high, which vastly increases the likelihood of it getting finished.
Good luck! Be brave! Thank you for the compliments!
I hope to read your stories someday!
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A page from my sketchbook from May, after getting my bolsters taken off, but while my chest still looked like I'd been in a car wreck.
Getting diagnosed with a genetic mutation that increased my breast cancer risk meant that my gender affirming top surgery had to go hand in hand with the preventative removal of quite a lot of other tissue, and my oncologist didn't leave as much skin for my plastic surgeon to work with as she'd expected, and so my appearance has been causing me a lot of emotional ups and downs throughout the healing process. At the time I drew this, I was still in quite a lot of pain and my chest looked very sunken and strange.
It still doesn't look natural, and I'm looking forward to revisions next year, and planning to put in a lot more time at the gym to build up my now-noticeably-absent pectoral muscles. Some days now, I still feel really terrible about how it looks. I hate that I once again had to compromise on my appearance. On the other hand, I'm starting to sometimes feel that euphoria I could not find a month ago.
Things are getting better. Slowly, steadily.
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Your horus x very stressed reader post is rotating so much in my mind.
So have some scenarious that have popped into my mind.
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The serfs going through different stages of opinions:
"ugh she is so incompetent. At least she isn't mean"
"oh she is trying. Why was she put in charge without anyone to guide her."
"Oh no, our lady is going to die from stress at this rate."
And more.
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Horus decides to have a few 'vacation' days with his wife.
Day two she is very sick because after so much stress all the possible bugs her body might have accumulated but was unable to deal with from stress are now being dealt with.
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Horus takes his wife on a date. She is performing the being a good wife but slowly relaxs
Horus ends ups mentioning off hand that she should try a bit harder, while talking about different things.
Lady yn goes back to performing the act of being a good wife, now uncomfortable, unhappy and self-conscious. And wanting to leave.
Either Horus doesn't notice or when he notices he doesn't know how to fix it because he doesn't know what was the thing he said that caused that.
Following this. Lady yn trying to work through exhaustion or the start of being ill and just fucking collapsing on her desk.
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Horus trying to play with his wife's hair and different possibilities:
a bunch, not a lot, falling off.
Him seeing grey hairs, I'm sure he wouldn't know that stress causes grey hairs.
The hair texture is different.
The scalp feels weird?
All of the above
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Somehow horus learns what prolonged high amounts of stress can do to a human and panics.
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Lady yn just missing home so much, even if she still loves her husband she starts to resent the relationship itself, and maybe him too just a tiny bit, and regretting meeting him.
One dat Writing down her thoughts on a diary of sorts, or a sparenotebook, that se may or may not feel bad about.
Horus finds it and starts snooping. Even if it is clearly private.
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THIS! ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE FREAKING LEGIT!
Geez, I'm so glad you shared these with me, because these things are the ones I wanted to point out!
Horus wife is becoming miserable that even waking up and realizing that no, it is not a dream, you are indeed Lady Lupercal, and yes, you still need to fix all those monetary issues that are, in fact, part of your job.
I'm going to go on all of these because they are GOLD:
1) Yes, like YES YES YES. The serfs know that she was struggling with this position from the beginning, and this can cause some trouble for them. But she's trying, okay? She's trying to be a good lady, acting nice to them, trying to mold and play the act, but everyone can see that she's slowly crumbling.
Also, 100 points if she's hearing all of this and just walks away because she knows that this is just true.
2) It's a cute thing, okay? a small escapade, a small run away in some nice place (Fulgrim suggested it, helping to bond more with her)—enough to forget! But the situation is already so bad that a few days on a beach is not like that can help. Also, as soon as she sets foot back on Terra, the problems will come back, so…
3) On his part, Horus did try to make a nice night for both of them. Again, was this maybe suggested by his sons? Like, "You should need a small date! Clear your evening, spend time with your wife!"
I would go with the option that he did not notice it because, in his mind, he just wanted to help her! He didn't mean anything bad! I mean, of course he knows that she's doing her best; she just needs to try a littleharder!
But he will notice, of course...when she collapsed like a dead body in front of everyone, like her brain just shut down in front of all his sons, while he still held her hand, still trying to process the event.
4) ALL…ALLLLL. Things went wild when he heard her crying in front of her vanity, a bunch of her hair stuck in her brush, and the clear view of her scalp.
She'll start wearing some veil on her head, while he'll try to present the issue with some apothecary, hoping for a solution.
5) The realization, when he realizes that all of these are not some strange illness, is not something that you could have gotten on that vacation; this is all happening because you're struggling with your work. He'll start to ask questions, asking about her personal serf and people around her. Then he remembers that date, and his brain just goes wild.
6) He'll do it. He knew about that diary, the one you kept on yourself, that no one touched.
He took it, and he read it, because he wanted to know how deep the thing was going.
He learned about your true emotion, how you started to develop some resentment about everything, about him, and he doesn't know how to react to it.
He failed you? But how come? He did everything right.
How could it be that he was the cause of your pain?
#warhammer40k#warhammer 40000#warhammer 40k#40k#wh40k#warhammer#warhammer x reader#horus lupercal#horus x reader#primarch#primarch x reader#primarch x oc#reader#x reader#reader insert#female reader#fem reader#x yn
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no crying in baseball ⭐️ what was that writing process like? also as someone who reveres middle school and that age just on the cusp of innocence lost, i felt a kinship with the way you wrote those kids. do you feel sentimental about that age?
on march 24th i said "imagine tommy jogging in the park and nearly getting brained by an errant softball thrown by a middle schooler and then he ends up coaching a softball team which allows him to work through the issues that have been holding him back from this relationship" and over the next 3.5 weeks i really wrote like a man possessed. you said something about it being a bucktommy fic without any buck in it which really was true: it had to be entirely about tommy undoing the knots that were keeping him stuck in his own personal ruts, because that was how this version of tommy was going to solve the underlying problems. he has to be able to figure out what his desires are and then give a voice to them.
my middle school era was painful in the way everyone's is, i think. puberty, behavioral issues, family drama, the works; the things i'm sentimental about from that age are summer camps, the books i read, the hours i spent wandering around the woods alone. we had a family friend, a gay man who was involved in community theater, who was often driving me around places. i can't even remember why, half the time, just his boxy 80s volvo with a tape-to-cd converter and the weird conversations that a 13 year old girl can have with a 30-something man she's not related to while they're driving to the next county over to do some random errand or he's picking her up from school in lieu of her parents. that's the vibe i tried to capture with tommy's relationship to emma: the family friend, the car, the forward-facing talk.
i don't know a lot of children; i don't have a lot of children in my life right now. neither my brother nor i intend to be parents, and i'm not especially close with my cousins that have kids. i graduated high school when cell phones were still somewhat of a novelty. i have no idea how kid-adult interactions go, these days. but i spent a lot of time with adults as a kid, and i really appreciated the ones who interacted with me like i was one of them, and that's what i was trying to recreate.
#i wonder what jared's doing these days. i'll ask my mom next time i call her#the family friend!!! a very important relationship for a child to have with an adult.#thank you newtkelly this made me think very deeply!!#my fic#no crying in baseball
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Creme filled ;)
Part 1
A/N : this is absolute filth and I'm not sorry.
Warning: smut . 18+ minors dni. Creampie. Cumplay. Dom bucky . Daddy kink. Bucky is thicc.chubby bucky. Inappropriate use of Bucky's cream.
Pairing: chubby bucky x baker reader.

You were currently laid on your stomach, bucky fucking you from behind, his soft tummy moving on your back with every thrust .
"Bucky..." You moaned his name. Bucky smirked as he kept pounding into your poor pussy.
"does that feel good sweets, is my cock making you feel good . " His grip on your neck loosened.
"yes daddy feels so good, your cock is filling me up so nicee." You whimpered.
Bucky loved teasing you, he stopped mid thrust , just to reach for the cream filled donuts nearby , he took a huge bite of it , "hmm tastes so good sweetheart.". You were desperate for him to move , but you knew he wouldn't. So you started fucking yourself on his cock, moving your ass up and down his member, making him almost choke on the donut. "Jeez sweets what's gotten into you today, you're usually a patient girl when daddy fucks you." He went back to taking charge now, gripped your hips tightly slamming into you making you go limp on his dick, he loved using you like this, he knew you loved it too.
" daddy ..." Bucky smacked your ass a few times ,before fucking into you again.
"tell me sweets, does it feel good ?" You only manage to yes. "Do you want daddy's cream? You want daddy to fill this hole? Like you filled those donuts . He knew the right dirty talk that would get you going.
"yes daddy want you to fill me with cream .".
" you're gonna come along with daddy yeah? Let go when i tell you to." He grips your ass firm enough to leave marks, bouncing you on his cock so swiftly, he didn't even break a sweat yet, tet you were so far gone after 7 orgasms .
"come for daddy sweets." And you both came his cum spilling into you, your combined juices leaking out of your pussy. Bucky gathered them with his fingers , and slipped it into his mouth.
"fuck we taste to good together sweets, wanna try?" You whimper out a yes. He took more of your cum and let you suck on his fingers, making you taste it. "Doesn't that taste good sweets?"
"hmm it's soo good baby ." In the middle of tasting it you got an awesome idea.
"are you sure about this sweets ?" Bucky really was still processing the level of filth you were doing , bringing him to your bakery telling him you were working on a few flavour. The next he knows you pulled his cock out jerking him off , then you explained you plan to him.
"oh you're so unbelievable sweets, you wanna put my cum on a donut?" Bucky loved the idea .
"yes barnes now be a good boy and cum in that bowl, don't waste it." He did as you said.
Bucky usually came a lot due to his enchanced abilities. And it was just enough to dip your donut in the bowl, you took a bite , savouring the taste.
"you like that sweets? Maybe you can sell it in your bakery as a special." He joked.
You furrowed your brows. " Nooo it's only for me ".
"really my sweets doesn't wanna share her new favourite flavour with the world? "
"no barnes , if they want it they can get their own super soldier." Bucky smiled at your possesiveness. "Don't be so jealous sweetheart you know I'm all yours." He pressed a loving kiss to your lips. " I know daddy ."
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#stucky#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan#sebastian stan fandom#winter soldier#chubby bucky smut#bucky smut#bucky x reader smut#chubby bucky x reader#chubby bucky#bucky x reader
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Kari sniffled, looking into her papa's eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks as she just sniffled and listened. She looked down for a moment, processing what the hero said and gave a nod while her eyes narrowed a bit in thought. "I... Think I get it." She muttered, voice still slightly trembling as she spoke. She looked back at the projection and sighed. The child slowly backed away from Hawks and went back to look at the journals again, one last time.
There she read a few more journals from her mother. A few from when she was pregnant with her siblings.
"Today is September 29th, I gave birth to my little boy Kitearo a few days ago. It's been exhausting but he's worth it. Lynx has been a huge help in taking care of our son. I looked into Kite's future and I saw he was going to have a lot of siblings. Not my first choice honestly. If you asked me five years ago I would have said two or three kids would be enough, not seven. But it feels right at the same time. While I saw his whole life unravel I couldn't help but feel helpless... But a part of me knows it can't be messed with, even though I want to save my son from an early grave. I'll have to wait until all my kids are born to get the full picture."
Kari frowned, figuring out pretty quick that her mother knew the whole time, or at least had an understanding.
"It's Febuary 23rd. Flo and Fino are a few days old now. I got a bit more of the picture since seeing Kitearo's future. They meet a similar fate. It hurts, but seeing them work hard to protect their youngest sister, a little girl with white hair, something isn't adding up. I know I can't stop it but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a whole lot."
"It's been a rough few weeks, Shade has been a bit of a handful. Always curious but always quiet which is a bit unnerving. Sure she cries and makes noises but she's more quiet than not. The doctor says she has nothing wrong with her but I still worry. I was able to see into her future. Lynx has his work cut out for him that's for sure. So far I know all my kids and my husband die on the same day, doing the same thing. I can't say for sure where I am but I can make a few guesses. Again that little girl with white hair makes a big appearance. I'll name her Kari. Kari Kana Lee Himura, long name but it looks like it suits her. When she's born I'll hopefully get all the answers and try to write them down."
"Another pair of twins. I'm not super surprised, Lynx had twin younger brothers after all so I think that runs in the family. That and I saw them while looking into their siblings' futures. These two look mirrored, it's kinda cute. I've named them Boom and Beats cuz the symbols on their cheeks are cute music notes. They are the loudest that's for sure, it's funny. I've had so many kids and all of them are so different even though they're under the same roof and have me and Lynx as their parents. I know why they look so different and why their quirks are different, it's a side effect of my quirk after all. But their behaviors and personalities aren't tied to it, I don't think. It's so fascinating to watch them grow and develop... I know I probably only have a few more years to live. I've concluded I die in child birth when giving birth to Kari. I know I'll be leaving behind my family and my friends... But I noted that my nephew is the one responsible for the deaths of everyone, under the control of my sister given his pupils... Something isn't adding up but I'm guessing Kari develops my quirk. If that's the case then she needs to exist. It strengthens our quirk and hopefully she'll be able to help others like I did, in someway. Though that's her choice and I don't want to force it onto her. I'm glad dad talked me into writing that one entry about my quirk, I hope she can read it one day so she can meet me... Well, a snap shot of me. It won't be the same I know but it's better than nothing. I just hope she doesn't hate me or get mad. It's kind of a selfish reason but there's so much going on... I just hope she understands."
Kari sniffled, rubbing her eyes. "I... I don't hate you mom." She whispered after a few moments of silence, hugging herself. "I just wish I knew you." The child gulped and moved to look back at the journal about All of the Above and began taking notes. "But yea, I'm glad grampa talked you into writing about your quirk too... It's gonna help me a lot." She muttered then looked at Hawks. "You think we can go somewhere I can train? I... I wanna try doing this thing mom talks about. I'm not sure if I can get back into that weird mind space thing but... But if I can maybe you can meet my siblings, well a snap shot of them... This is kinda confusing." Kari puffed out her cheeks then went back to writing. "But we don't have to do it today if we can't."
Hawks didn’t speak at first. He just let Kari cry. He didn’t try to hush her or pull her away. He dropped down to one knee so she could lean into him easier, wrapping his arms around her small frame like he could shield her from every painful word she had just read. His wings even curled in slightly, a quiet gesture of shelter.
He held her gently as the sobs came out in waves—her pain wasn’t small, and it didn’t deserve to be treated like it was.
After a long moment, his voice finally came—soft, steady, low enough it didn’t try to overpower her crying but just… sat with it.
“I know, kiddo. I know it hurts. It’s not fair. None of this is. You didn’t get a choice in any of it.”
He tightened the hug slightly, one hand cradling the back of her head.
“But I need you to hear me when I say this next part, okay?” He pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, his own golden ones steady and full of something more than just compassion—it was conviction. “She didn’t die because of you. That’s not how this works. She died for you. And that’s something only someone who loves their kid more than anything in the world would do.”
His thumbs gently wiped her tears.
“Your mom knew the risks. She was a top pro. She wasn’t someone who walked into things blind. She fought to bring you into this world anyway, Kari. That means she wanted you here. She made a choice—and that choice was you.”
#rp#Pure Tiny (Kari)#toranoya#//we can swap to Core eventually or keep going with this#//then swap back or whatever.#//i'm cool with either one.#//sorry my replies have been so long recently ^^; been having fun doing so
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Hii, I love your fics!! I think you are truly so talented showing the emotions and I love how, or like, thw way, in which you get into Bruce's head !
Do you usually think about a scene you want to write and use the other scenes to build it up, or do you start with a specific scenario and try to explain how would Bruce react and go from there?
Sorry if the question isn't really clear, I'm not sure how to better phrase it :c
Thank you so much! Yeah, usually when I'm writing out of the blue ideas, I usually get really zoned into one conversation or scene and try to build around that as naturally as possible. However, if I try to write that scene out of order, I can really screw myself up since I change a lot of details as I go. I've learned that lesson the hard way. So I tend to outline the scene I do know, but I don't actually write it out until I've reached it chronologically, if that makes any sense.
Sometimes it's really fun to play "how do we get there" and sometimes it's a nightmare. For example, my latest outsider POV where the guy stumbles across Batman and Robin locked in a closet - literally the only thing I had in mind before I started to write was 1) the guy finds Batman fighting like crazy defending a door and 2) that guy was surprised until he realized that Robin was behind that door. So I went into it hoping that something would crop up as I was writing, and it did! Luckily.
Process >>> "How do we get there?" Well, maybe there's something going on in the building. Okay, why is our POV character in the building? He lives there. No, he's the Super. Okay, why would he stick around in the building if something is wrong? He's a good guy, or maybe it's his job to keep the building safe. Okay, let's say he feels obligated. Who else is in the building? What exactly is the threat? Can he avoid it while still managing to stumble across it? Okay, let's say there's two waves of attacks and he accidentally stumbles upon Batman between them. What happens now? He's a nice guy but he's not that dumb, if it's safe at that point he'd probably leave, but what about Robin? How does he even know Robin is there, Batman won't tell him. Okay, the second wave is coming so he has to stay. Batman will put him behind the same door as Robin and that's how he figures out why Batman is defending this door. Etc etc.
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Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co
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11 • 06 • 25 11:55 pm

Wednesday recap
Note: I want to add that i actually wrote this the day the exam went on, but for some reason i forgot to update it and has been sitting on my drafts all this time and i noticed it just now 😭
I can feel this will be a long update again, i'm sorry
Today was my final exam of Clinical Practice and hopefully my last academic exam from the career 🥹. Again there is a lot of mixed feelings about that because ofc there is this relieve of finally ending this but at the same time nostalgic because wow i can't believe that all this years of curricular worries somehow end here?! I still don't completely process the idea and maybe later this will feel like a bruise
About the test... well, we had pretty much time to prepare for it (a little bit more than a week) and for that reason i felt like this sense of responsability to have to do well on it. I would love to say that said time i got under lockdown and studied, but the reality is that i started just this weekend
I wish i had administrated better my time because still this morning i was rushing trying to fit more concepts in my mind
About the dinamic of the test... it goes like this: the professors who teached and supervised us in this subject/headquarter (5) are divided in four different módulos (for visual purposes, all of this was in a big room with with smaller rooms inside, all of them conected by a station in the center) in each we had to do different procedures, first when we enter the room the teacher hands us a paper with the record of our patient and at the bottom the instructions of what they need us to do, the patients in each station are real people but they're actors so they're ready to answer questions and fake pains and complains 😭; in this occasion i have to say, the professors were pretty generous with the time, the gave us 12 minutes per module and we had to enter in groups of four and just rotate the stations everytime the alarm went off.
In past semesters i have to confess we had the opportunity to cheat a little because once someone finished the exam and went out of the room we interrogated them to know how was the exam, what we had to do, what did the professors ask etc etc, but of course the teachers knew this happened outside so this time they decided to do some changes and made us stay in a waiting room outside the place of the exam, the ones who finished leaved for another door and we didn't get to interact again because we also had to leave our phones inside our backpacks in another room 🫠
For me, the first station was a patient with a transfemoral amputation, (it was a rag doll 😭) i had to do it's physiotherapy diagnosis and then explain precautions i must have before giving them a treatment according with their record, then demostrate the procedure to do a correct bandage on the amputatėd member, and finally explain a treatment i would do to increase strength on the member. For this station i felt my diagnosis was a disaster because i was so nervous i forgot to mention a lot of things and some of the terms i had to use plus i'm not sure if i got to finish explaining my treatment because the alarm indicating the time went off
Second station, this one had a real person as a patient, i had again to do her physioterapy diagnosis after reading her record, i had to ask her a few questions in order to finish my diagnosis (i felt like i did better this time) and then do a treatment to help her gain core strength and stability, she was in a wheel chair and my creativity on the spot only lasted me enough to indicate two excercises 🥹 so at the end i had so much time left; but i felt the girl who was playing the rol of the patient was so kind with me
Third station was with a pediatric patient, for this one the actress was the mom and the patient was a doll, after reading her record i had to do the anamnesis for the perinatal history, then demostrate with the baby how to value two reflexes, for me it was moro and babinski and mention until which age it's normal for them to be present, i said the age of one of them wrong 🥲, also answer the random questions the mom had about the baby, the valoration and her worries and again i felt like i had too much time left at the end
Finally for the last station it was with the Dra. (i always adress her because she has been one of my teachers since the first semester of the career, and she actually also was the coordinator of the career at the time, she's a person that imposes me a lot but with the time i have learn that she is actually pretty gentle and that she just acts like she does because she really want us to become the best professional version of ourselves) in this one was with a neurological patient in the ICU after reading his record i had to explain what one of his patologies was: hemopneumothorax i explained it wrong because i said air insteand of blōod but i just noticed it as i'm writing this 😭; then mention again the parameters i must be cautious about to do an intervention according with his state (which i'm also just remembering i forgot to mention the most important one, the intracraneal pressure screamssssss 😭) and finally do his valoration. For the simulation there was a sound of the hospital monitor in background (you know the typical beep beep beep that indicates the heart rate .-.) so in the middle of my valoration it started going much faster and i had to call a "doctor" (another actor) who was outside the room to help stabilize it (i knew the drill because they did the exact same thing for the exam last semester 😮💨) after he helps with it the doctor introduced himself and asked me if i could help administrate certain treatment for the patient and i told him that just let me finish my intervention and i would see what i could do about it, but when he left the room i explained to the Dra. that i couldn't do what he asked me for because the administration of what he asked me to do was contraindicated for his case for all of the other several injuries the patient had on the place he indicated me, and the Dra. told me 'of course, thank you!' ; the actor patient was unconcious for his rol, but after i said that to the Dra. i saw him giving me a little tumbs up without her noticing it (he was so cute for that 🥹 and i felt so relieved and sincerely that helped me gain so much confidence to continue) still i didn't get to do much after it, and i didn't finish my valoration because the alarm went off. Again i didn't do perfect on this module but at the same time i didn't feel like a lost case
In general i'm aware i didn't do perfect in this exam and i had several mistakes which i have to improve but eventough i feel so much more confident now than how i felt for the last semester's final exam
I have hope things will going to be alright :)
If you reached this far i'm sorry it was too long or boring, but thank you so much for reading 𖹭
Good night everyone, sleep tight and rest well! ✨
#journal#journaling#journey#life journey#life#life blog#life blogging#lifeblogging#lifeblr#college life#college student#college blog#college motivation#college#student blog#student life#study blog#study motivation#studyblr#studyspo#student#study#university#university student#university studyblr#university stuff#physiotherapy#physical therapy#physiotherapy student#girlblog
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Hello!
I'm Lee (any pronouns), a middle aged queer writer from the midwest of the US. It's been a bit, so I'm doing another writeblr intro, to find more potential writeblr folks to chat with!
What I write:
- Mostly scifi! I have a bit of fantasy brewing in a collab project, but mostly, scifi.
- Queer stuff. Lots of different types of queerness.
- Community. Both in the group-hugs-and-support variety and the extreme-mess/everybodies-traumas-keep-smashing-into-each-other variety. I have training as a family therapist and am endlessly fascinated by interpersonal dynamics. This is the meat of my work.
- Grounded worldbuilding. My main project right now is near future scifi that diverges from our timeline around 2001. I'm enjoying the hell out of playing the US I know with some very key tweaks that changed society. I know a lot about medical systems, criminal justice systems, and legal systems and like using fantasy and scifi elements to show them as I know them. But like, in a way that should appeal to people who give 0 shits about US institutions.
- Disability stuff. Not that after-school-special shit. I am just tired of characters being generic pretty dolls whose physical attributes don't impact how they move through the world. That means not only writing a variety of different disabilities, but also different bodies. My characters aren't "inspiration porn" or just waiting around for less disabled characters to come save them. They are messy, with a wide array of relationships to their limitations and the things they use to cope with those limitations.
- YA into new adult. Not exclusively, but mostly. I really like taking characters from YA into early adulthood. Not just a standard coming-of-age arc, but the actually moving from a self-concept of a dependent teen into someone with legal responsibility for themselves, jobs, college, etc. Especially when combined with all of the above. I love a nice long character arc with lots of sub-arcs along the way.
What I have out, now.
- I have two books out so far, Secondhand Origin Stories and Names in Their Blood. I'm working on book 3 in that planned 5 book series now, which is currently titled Brittle Idols.
- I have a free monthly newsletter called Shed Letters where I talk about psychology, tech, queerness, storytelling, and the creative process, plus whatever random topic I've been researching for my books recently. Also contains pictures of my three very photogenic cats.
- Newsletter subscribers also have access to a novella I wrote that goes between Secondhand Origin Stories and Names in Their Blood, that's about an fictional AI (the only kind I like) trying to decide on a body for themself.
- I also draw and animate, with my first and still in-progress animation project being a "trailer" for Secondhand Origin Stories.
What I'm looking for
- writeblrs - especially writeblrs that aren't JUST writeblrs. I want to feel like I'm meeting people, at least in some manner, rather than just hearing about a product in process. That doesn't have to mean deep confessions or private information, but honestly I'm not likely to remember you for your writing project alone. Sorry. Please show me what else you care about!
- Bonus points for queer or disabled scifi or fantasy writers.
- I am white for most intents and purposes but I always want to find more AOC who write sci fi.
- Also always excited to meet more YA authors- especially the currently kinda sidelined YA scifi.
- People who care about where society is going but aren't posting that everything is doomed and pointless. I mean you post whatever you want but I don't need that on my dash. That shit is not helping me help.
I sometimes do ask games? It's fun when I have the time. It'd be fun to have more folks to do them with, provided those folks are patient.
Please interact if this has piqued your interest!
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