#IT HAS TO BE DELICATELY HANDLED FOR MANY NUANCED REASONS!!!

[smaeemo]

On the topic of s8 buddie speculation, I think that it’s important to recognize that they are actual adults.

Like these are fully grown men, who are inherently recovering and still mentally growing, but they are not teens or even young adults at this point. With Tommy specifically, my guy Tommy is a fully grown 40 year old, comfortable stable person who is experienced and confident within his identity and relationship. And while Buck has always been a little more immature, he is growing and getting healither and healthier as the seasons progress.

So as of right now Bucktommy is ideal for the two of them, but when it comes to Eddie it is a completely different ordeal.

Eddie’s emotional and mental states are in crisis mode, with chris, SINCE shannon, PTSD, all of above. And with adding in Marisol, and specificlally his relationship with God, this is now a perfect avenue for his queer identity. HOWEVER, With the Chris timeline, there has to be closure on one before the other, most likely chris first.

Here’s what I think will happen BRIEF IDEA

Chris -> Eddie Queer -> Eddie realizes he loves Buck -> Bucktommy break up due to TOMMY realizing this -> Buddie fight -> Eddie & Tommy talk + Eddie and team talk (or carla)-> Buck realizes/eddie tells him(but not fully establishedor resolved) -> DRAMA UNRELATED -> Big emotional AGGHH (Possibly to do with Chris) -> resolve that issue -> Circle back to the topic of their love -> Buck talks to peeps -> DRAMA -> Buddie Canon

(Buck and Eddie can be interchanged in specific parts due to the general theme of the dramas or perhaps the “confession” of sorts)

However my point is…

- Tommy will not be a bad sport and is NOT a bad person or bad for Buck. Wrong person wrong time, but a lovely couple as of right now. Specifically for Buck’s development. (I really hope they strengthen and continue Tommy’s character because I love him, and because I don’t think he should be known exclusively as a catalyst for Buck’s identity, kind of like Taylor was :()

- For Buddie to go canon, the Chris issue has to be resolved first WHICH could come before or after Eddie’s queer realization. Specifically after, perhaps due to his repressed feelings and idenrity becoming a prominent figure in his self care, and willingness to change. AND let go of Shannon IN A HEALTHY WAY. (also parent stuff)

- This is not high school, they are adults. BUCK HAD HIS ARC!! Eddie needs to figure out his shit.

- They are flawed and complex characters, so while yes, this is 9-1-1 so it will be theatrical, it will not be immature.

- It will be MESSY and DRAMATIC and with REALISTIC (ish) themes

-> Think of Bathena, Henren, Madney

- Buddie is a longstanding want from the Fandom, ergo, if executed wrong, there will be an actual outrage (look at how they reacted to Tommy) so this was/will be a very complicated and complex writing!

- OR casually dropped in (I highly doubt this option)

- Most of all, Chris is the main priority within Eddie’s life, so the Chris Arc and EDDIES arc need to take place PRIOR to canonical Buddie.

- Buck has suspiiously not gone through anything this seaosn.. so keep an eye out for that…

- TOMMY IS NOT BAD. I REPEAT TOMMY IS NOT BAD.

-> Not the right longterm relationshup for either of them, but a HEALTHY one

- Buddie may not go canon this season, but it’s still possible THEY HAVE ALL THE BUILDING BLOCKS

- But on a more media related note, please take into account:

-> Actors comfort

-> ABC’s policies

-> And of course, plotline: due to the NATIONAL/GLOBAL want and demand for Buddie, this arc would over shadow most other arcs, so other character arcs need to take place, and really develop before canon buddie

-> Also, please be respectful of other people, actors, and of course writers. As viewers we don’t see so much, and of course all media can be intperetted in many various ways, and even if you don’t agree, please respect and have compassion for your fellow 9-1-1 enjoyers (specifically regarding all of the listed items).

Ok, Stay safe, stay respectful, stay on the watch for potential buddie themes, be patient and most of all, have compassion for all parties involved, fictional and production wise.

[charrfie]

no offence but the fact that normies found clinical trial is my 13th reason

Please forgive me anonymous, your use of the word "normies" made me giggle quite a bit..... but rest assured I understand your sentiment and I most definitely agree with it (even if I wish you had been a little nicer about it, lol). I have a lot of issues with the way clinical trial has been approached by a vast majority of fans, honestly. It's hard to know what to start with even. But I do feel that at least part of the reason people have had such a hard time understanding the source material is due to popular creators covering the game and exposing it to a general audience that otherwise would not engage with the game. Not to say I find said creators themselves at fault for this, since it's partly the reason I discovered it as well. It is a double edged sword, for sure. And there are a lot of people who DO understand it! Excellently, at that! This just sometimes seems difficult to appreciate if you- like me- check the tags every morning/night like the newspaper and come across multiple posts in a row either misinterpreting characters personalities, intentions, or.... you know. A million other things. Expected for a game with layers of nuance intertwined with each story beat, but still. For those that do understand, I appreciate you haha

One thing that I believe a lot of people don't understand when analyzing the game is that..... it's not exactly meant to be. Pretty? I guess? And that's part of the reason I connected with it as much as I did. In a majority of the media I've come across in my lifetime that has to do with people who aren't "good" at being people (for lack of a better term), never have I seen something so shamelessly depict the way isolation and mental illness make an impact on every single little aspect of someone's life. There is no self-censoring, no cushioning of the blows, nothing. And its fucking genius!!!!!!! I have seen so many arguments about angel's reactions to certain things being outlandishly stupid, lee's actions making him undeserving of his true ending's fate, etc, but I couldn't disagree more!!!!!!! People are weird. Weirder, when they are lonely and often taken advantage of. And that is SUCH a core part of what clinical trial is all about. The game makes you sit down and swallow the fact that lee is not an innately evil person without feeling the need to make his actions more palatable. Without making angel need to excuse it. Clinical trial has such respect for both parties and their feelings/experiences/autonomy, while not needing to say "this is bad" or "this is good" about anything. And especially when handling such a delicate topic. It's fucking genius. And I could talk about it for forever. But before engaging at all with ct, people HAVE to acknowledge this shit. That maybe good people can do bad, bad things, and that maybe "good" and "bad" aren't concepts applicable at all sometimes. Maybe sometimes, people are just people.

This sums up my thoughts on the general game here well enough for now (especially given how short of an ask it was haha), but before I conclude this post I do have to speak on how much the common perception of angel's identity bothers me. Especially considering how much of a core element of the story it is; I would be remiss not to bring it up at least once. Please note that I very intentionally use the word "identity" here rather than "gender" because that's only a singular element of who they are as a character. I'm talking about everything: their identity as someone that's mentally ill, as someone who's physically ill, as someone nonhuman, and as a nonbinary individual. Even still, I leave certain facets of their identity out that I can't possibly cover in the scope of this ask right now!!!! But bear with me in what I do feel equipped to talk ahout currently.

It is- without hyperbole- IMPOSSIBLE to understand angel without taking into account all the external and internal factors impacting who they are, what they think, and what decisions they make. IMPOSSIBLE. You, the person reading this right now, are an individual with YEARS AND YEARS of experiences, memories, and interests. The way your brain works, how you label (or don't label) yourself, how you think and do things, how you even talk... ALL of this is a culmination of the people you have known and the experiences you've lived through. That is a beautiful thing. A gift. Would it not be ridiculous of someone to claim that all of that is entirely irrelevant in the way you live your life? You might think that asking you to understand everything intricacy of a character before engaging with the material they're from is asking too much, but I disagree!! Clinical trial is about complicated people and complicated relationships that have been molded by their surroundings. I do not feel that asking that be acknowledged is a bad thing. Do your reading homework to prepare for the quiz, essentially.

All this is to say that I wish- just once- people would consider why angel chooses to act the way they do. I wish I could see even one piece of art of angel having to get up slowly from seated positions or wearing compression stockings all the time lest their orthostatic hypotension gets the best of them. I wish the shit that messed with their every action in the game had more of an impact in the fan media I see. I wish people might stop addressing them as human at all, because when angel says that they feel inner peace thinking of existing as an animal, that's not symbolism, that's not metaphor, that's truth. I wish every other post I see of them wouldn't address them as a girl or a boy. I wish nonbinary people stopped getting fucking erased. I get wanting to project. I get wanting to see yourself reflected in fiction. Trans representation is much more rare than cis rep, but I promise you there are infinitely more binary/binary-leaning trans characters for you to project onto than the things that I and others have. I wish people would GET who angel was before bothering to have anything to say about them.

I think angel and lee are some of the most authentic and transparent real life people I have ever seen in fiction. It is a crime they are difficult to be recognized as that.

I fear that I sound sort of pretentious talking about the game in such a manner as this but....... alas. I am allowed to be a little bit pretentious about media that speaks to me on such a level, I suppose. Please don't think I mean to diminish the efforts of those who DO get it. All of your work is fantastic. At the end of the day, this is just the internet. You are allowed to have fun on it. I am in no position to stop you. I even hope that you might find the joy you seek in doing so! But if I might ask you to consider the story and characters with a bit more depth.... I would very much appreciate the effort :^]

I hope that for both your sake and mine, anonymous, that people will start engaging with clinical trial in a better, more earnest way soon! Thank you for your ask~ peace and love

[marvel-wlw-ah]

Perfection (Casey Novak x Alex Cabot)

A/N: Another day, another Calex fic :p But I am thinking of writing more than just Calex; what do you guys think?🤔 I have an idea for an Alex x reader fic that I want to make beautifully devastating and angsty, but it will probably be a bit lengthy, so stay tuned!

Warnings: 18+/ NSFW content ahead! Also brief-ish depictions of a fictional SVU case.

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Alex has always prided herself on maintaining her image of polished perfection, but with Casey, can she feel free to be herself?

Alex and Casey have been together for slightly over two months. And Alex is whipped.

Alex adores everything Casey does and still can’t quite get over how lucky she feels. Every day is a dream, and she never wants to wake up. Alexandra Cabot never imagined herself to be one to gush over anyone like a schoolgirl, but with Casey, all preconceived notions of what she wanted or what she deemed as reasonable behavior were thrown out the window.

Since they made things official, the couple has spent nearly every day (and many intimate nights) together. However, because both ADAs are swamped with complex, onerous cases, the pair have gone an entire week without being with one another for a meaningful amount of time. The most time that they’d share would be crossing paths in the D.A.’s office or quick, shared lunches.

The time apart was driving Alex mad.

She wondered how someone could become such a large, integral part of her life in such a short time. Alex had been trained to be pragmatic, strategic, and direct all her life. However, managing these feelings for the redheaded ADA is everything Alex has virtually zero experience with; as Alex soon realized, romantic attraction is practically the antithesis of pragmatic, strategic, and direct. She wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of such visceral, intense, unconditional infatuation.

Sure, Alex had been hit on and chased after in the past, but such advances only made her uncomfortable and caused her to scoff internally in disgust. Yet, strangely enough, with Casey, she felt content with allowing herself to open up and slowly began to embrace being loved.

It was a Friday night, and Alex was alone in her home office reviewing her closing speech for court tomorrow. Alex has been incessantly trying to perfect the delivery and impact of her argument.

Alex cared about this case the slightest bit more than previous ones. A schizophrenic man assaulted his girlfriend after being off his medication. The victim, Carrie, was in an immense state of denial and wanted to protect her boyfriend, Carson.

Carrie’s response was a mixture of fear of Carson and partial belief that Carson hadn’t done anything wrong. After assuring her that the days of coverture were long gone, Carrie started cooperating with the detectives.

Alex was very impassioned by this case. She wanted to ensure Carrie got justice while also handling the nuances of Carson’s mental health issues delicately. She was so determined to handle this situation as perfectly as possible because this case reminded her of Casey’s relationship with her schizophrenic ex-boyfriend, Charlie.

Alex was the one to be there for Casey when things with Charlie reached their climax a few years ago. Alex was the shoulder for Casey to cry on. Alex helped Casey heal.

It broke Alex’s heart to see the strong-witted, stubborn, sharp ADA reduced to an uncharacteristically insecure, shaken, and vulnerable mess.

At the time, Alex told herself that feeling so invested in Casey’s love life was normal and platonic.

She thought it was perfectly appropriate to feel so profoundly empathetic about her friend’s relationship to the point that Alex would spend several nights embracing Casey so tightly while the redhead slept that Alex could hear her breathing. She thought it was analogously appropriate to feel a slight bloom of warmth within herself whenever Casey would give Alex a slight squeeze in her sleep.

Of course, in hindsight, Alex knows her feelings for Casey were never truly platonic, but she never allowed herself to acknowledge that to prevent herself from getting hurt. It wasn’t until Casey kissed her during a movie night in Alex’s brownstone that she could even consider the possibility that Casey was attracted to her.

Just as Alex was fondly thinking about their first kiss, a sharp knock snapped her back to reality.

After the mild shock from the noise wore off, confusion took its place. No one ever comes to visit Alex. Well, no one besides-

“Allleeex, it’s me!” A cheerful, familiar voice called from the other side of the door.

With great haste, Alex got up and opened the door to reveal the redhead that was just occupying her mind.

“Hey, you,” Alex said, with a smile gracing her face. “What’re you doing here? I thought you needed to prep for court,” she asked as she ushered her lover inside.

“I decided I needed a break. I'm in desperate need of an ‘Alex-fix’ ,” Casey answered cheekily as she turned to face the blonde and leaned into her. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck, idly playing with the loose hairs that had gradually escaped Alex’s once-tight ponytail.

“And by the looks of it,” Casey started while turning her head to face the direction of Alex’s office, “you could use one too,” she said as she turned to face her lover once more, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Alex melted into the embrace and realized just how much she missed being around Casey.

Casey deepened the kiss and dipped her hands to rest at Alex’s waist. Alex sighed into the kiss before pulling away. “Casey, I really need to finish preparing for tomorrow.”

In response, Casey groaned hyperbolically before leaning forward once more to fling her arms around Alex’s shoulders, embracing Alex in a hug. She then quickly transferred her weight to push into Alex, essentially going limp around her lover’s shoulders.

Alex smiled at Casey’s dramatics and adjusted to support her weight. Alex then led them both to her couch. As soon as the blonde sat, Casey climbed on top of her, knees pressing into the cushions on either side of Alex's thighs, and draped herself over her like a warm, petulant blanket.

"Casey," Alex sighed, exasperated but not really annoyed. She tried to shift, but Casey's arms hung limply around her shoulders, a deliberate, heavy weight that kept her pinned in place.

"You put too much pressure on yourself, baby," Casey hummed. Though it’s not the first time Casey has called her that pet name, it still sent Alex reeling. “Plus, I have seriously been missing my Alex time."

Though she knew how much she’d been missing Casey as well, Alex really needed to practice more in order to feel confident in court.

Alex huffed, her hands hovering awkwardly in the air as she debated whether to push Casey off or give in to her antics. "Casey, you know I have court in the morning," she reminded her, voice firm but lacking real bite.

"And I have a girlfriend who's been neglecting me," Casey countered, pressing a quick, teasing kiss to Alex's jaw. "Guess which one of those feels more urgent right now?"

Alex sighed again, but this time, her hands settled on Casey's waist. "You're impossible," she muttered, though her fingers betrayed her, tracing small, absentminded circles against Casey's back.

Casey proceeded to plant kisses down Alex’s neck until she decided on returning to Alex’s lips. Casey kissed Alex with such fervor that made the blonde’s head spin. Casey slipped her tongue into Alex’s mouth, making her let out a mixture of a grunt and a moan.

Once again, Alex pulled away, contemplation written all over her face. Reading her mind, Casey said, “Alex, you need a break, and I guarantee you already have that entire speech memorized.”

It’s true; Alex already knew what she wanted to say and precisely how she wanted to say it. Most ADAs would’ve stopped and called it a night. But Alex, sometimes to a fault, was not like most ADAs; she needed to be perfect. She couldn’t let Carrie down, she couldn’t jeopardize the opportunity to get Carson help appropriately, she couldn’t-

“Please, baby,” Casey muttered against the skin of Alex’s neck, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Just let me take care of you.” And with that, Alex surrendered. How could she say no to a request like that?

Alex gave Casey a slight nod of her head, which prompted the enthusiastic redhead to gently tug Alex’s top off. Casey was met with a simple black bra that deliciously hugged the perfect peaks of Alex’s chest. The sight made Casey salivate.

She reached behind Alex to unclip the garment then proceeded to gently cup her breasts, admiring how the weight of them felt in her hands. Casey then rubbed her thumbs against her pebbling nipples; she loved watching Alex’s body react to her touch.

In an instant, Casey’s lips were on Alex’s skin once more, hastily kissing and sucking every inch of exposed flesh. Casey was touching and kissing Alex as though she was trying to perfectly map out every dip and curve of her lover.

“Lie down for me, baby,” Casey said as she climbed off of Alex. Alex complied by lying down with her head aligned with the couch’s armrest, shakily breathing with anticipation. No matter how many times the pair makes love, Alex will always feel a spur of excitement when she sees that hungry look in Casey’s eyes.

Casey lowers herself and reaches for the waistband of Alex’s pants. Then suddenly-

It hit her.

Alex remembered she hadn’t shaved.

Alex is always sure to be perfect for Casey and is entirely shaved anytime she anticipates sex with her. An old boyfriend of Alex’s told her how gross he thought it was whenever she wasn’t entirely clean-shaven, and ever since, it has been drilled into Alex to stay shaved for Casey in fear she would also think her hair is gross.

However, since they’d both been so busy and Alex wasn’t expecting to see Casey, she hadn’t prepared.

“Wait!” Alex stated a little louder than she intended to. Casey immediately pulled back and looked up at Alex with concern and fear lacing her face.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” Casey said hurriedly. Alex couldn’t decide what would be more embarrassing: letting Casey see her when she was indecent or practically shouting at Casey to stop.

Alex looked down, ashamed, and Casey, growing more worried by the second, asked again, “Alex? Are you okay? Did I do something?”

“No! No, God, no- I just,” Alex began to explain, “I just… haven’t shaved in a while.” Alex mumbled the last part of her sentence so quietly that Casey could hardly make out what she said despite no other noise being present.

“What, baby?” Casey asked with a gentle curiosity.

“I haven’t shaved, Casey. You know… down there,” Alex responded while gesturing towards her groin.

Casey lightly chuckled at the confession. Embarrassment and fear simultaneously ran through Alex’s body. Was she laughing at her?

Alex began to hastily cover herself with her discarded shirt from the ground and get up, but before she could push Casey off, the redhead stopped her with a firm grip on her legs. “Hey! Hey! Baby, hold on,” Casey said with mirth still evident in her voice. “Honey, I’m not laughing at you, I promise,” Casey said, more seriously but still maintaining a reassuring smile.

“I was laughing because it’s funny that you think there’s a problem with you not being shaved.” Casey calmly and earnestly said. Alex looked at Casey as though she had two heads. “Alex, I think you and everything associated with you is perfect. Body hair isn’t going to change that perception, silly.”

Still slightly red with embarrassment from the entire exchange, Alex finally made eye contact with Casey. The redhead’s smile widened at her lover’s gaze finally reaching her eyes. “Look, if you are uncomfortable and do not want me to touch you right now, of course I won’t. But if you don’t want me to touch you because you think I have a problem with your hair, please let me assure you, that is not the case.” Casey said with the utmost conviction.

“No, no I- trust me, I definitely want you; I want this,” Alex said while still feeling slightly insecure but more assured than before.

“Yeah?” Casey asked with a cheeky smile and a cheerful tilt to her voice, making it apparent that she was hoping Alex would say that.

“Yeah,” Alex responded, matching Casey’s smile.

With that, Casey propped herself up, planted both hands on either side of Alex’s head, and leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss. Casey then grabbed Alex’s shirt, allowing the garment to retake its place on the ground. It was as though Casey was trying to kiss away any doubt Alex had, and if that was her intention, it was working.

Casey worked her kisses down Alex’s body, and her hands came to rest on Alex’s waistband once again. After receiving a nod from the blonde, Casey gingerly pulled her pants and underwear down her legs and off her body to join Alex’s other clothes on the ground.

Casey was now face to face with Alex’s sex, which was lightly covered in cute, light brown pubic hair. Casey traced the natural flow of her hair in adoration and uttered, “You are absolutely perfect, Alexandra Cabot,” and proceeded to place a kiss on the hair present on her pubis mound. Alex flushed in a combination of fleeting yet ever-present shame, the feeling of being so vulnerable, and mere bashfulness at the compliment.

With her right thumb, Casey spread Alex’s slightly glistening folds, gathered the arousal from her entrance, and began to rub at Alex’s nub of pleasure. Alex let out a quiet whine from the stimulation. “That feel good, baby,” the redhead asked while lowering herself to suckle loving kisses into the flesh of Alex’s inner thigh.

“Yes, Casey,” Alex practically breathed out, the embarrassment from the past ordeal practically nonexistent; how could she be concerned with anything when she had her tantalizingly sexy girlfriend between her legs and touching her in all the right ways?

Casey lowered her right pointer and middle finger to Alex’s entrance, slowly inching their way inside of her. Casey was studying Alex’s face to search for any sign of discomfort to which so found none, in fact, quite the opposite. Alex’s chest bloomed at the thought that Casey was so careful with her and so attentive to ensure she was okay. Her girlfriend’s consideration only turned Alex on more.

Casey then stuck her left thumb up and moved it toward Alex. Getting the hint, Alex opened her mouth to allow Casey to collect her saliva on her digit. With that same thumb, she then started to draw quick, tight circles around Alex’s clit while still pumping mercilessly into her with her right hand.

“I love how you feel wrapped around me, baby,” Casey said adoringly, “This perfect little pussy wrapped around my fingers…” Casey muttered slightly absentmindedly, entirely absorbed in her lover. Alex flushed at the vulgar choice of words and felt the heat within her rise even further.

“Come on, baby- come for me,” Casey said, and that was all Alex needed to come undone around her fingers. With a high-pitched, girlish cry, Alex climaxed and swore she saw stars. Casey gently let her ride out her high before removing her fingers and leaning forward to kiss her girlfriend. Alex started to reach for the hem of Casey’s top so she could begin to undress her very-much-so-still-clothed body. But Casey reached for Alex’s hands, stopping her.

Alex pulled away from the kiss, looking puzzled. She was met with a kind smile from her lover. “Tonight is about me taking care of you, okay?” And before Alex could protest, Casey continued, “Let me run us a bath, order some food, and maybe we can watch a movie, yeah?”

God, what did I do to get so lucky, Alex wonders.

“Yeah, Case, that sounds perfect,” but as Casey stood to make her way toward the bathroom, Alex said, “Thank you, Casey. For everything.”

Casey sat back down next to Alex on the couch and planted a chaste kiss on her lips. “You never have to thank me for loving you.”

With that, she gave another peck to her lover’s lips and started to walk away.

Alex was used to being rigid and careful and calculated. But with Casey, she doesn't have to be the hard-ass, bitchy ADA Cabot. She knows it's more than okay just to be Alex. And knowing that brings more comfort than she’ll ever let the redhead know.

A/N: With every fic, my word count nearly much triples 😬 at this rate I will be writing 6 million words by my 10th fanfiction!!!!! (I think… I dont know- I’m a social science major, not a math major😓) Also this is not really proofread, sorry!

[forzafe44ari]

I'm genuinely obsessed with your writing, it is so perfectly thought out and nuanced when exploring the intersectionalities of race and gender in your Omega!Lewis work, I literally never see it mentioned or explored in any of the fics. It's so refreshing to see someone consider how important of a factor race relations would be on Lewis and his relationships on the grid, especially when exploring sewis or brocades. I check my emails every day waiting to see if there's an update.

I love the exploration of anger in the lastest chapter, that almost explicit acknowledgement of the difference in how black men and white men have to perceive their anger, especially when in the spotlight like Lewis is. Literally the embodiment of "you don't understand the violence it took to be this gently," and Charles not quite understanding that because whilst he can share the omega discrimination experience, he has no idea about the equally painful experience of racism.

The only other author I think who writes as beautifully as you would be 'eldritcher' on AO3 and their Love: a Diptych series. It's got pieces for many drivers and in particular, "All the lonely people," "A line of beauty," "the swimming pool library," "babadook," and "in search of lost time", are the most relevant to Lewis & sewis. I think its the only other work on AO3 that dives into the impact of race and different people would have had on Lewis, and why his relationship with Sebastian worked so well compared to others.

I love reading your anaylsis of your own work, the way you explain the thought process and intersectionality of certain aspects of the plot. I was wondering (hoping) if you ever have the time, if you could read the aforementioned works and do a little review on them. I love your reviews almost as much as the work itself.

Simply cannot wait for the next chapter!!!

Thank you so much for reading! Race, gender, class, and religion cannot be separated, and I don’t think a lot of people are that interested in exploring all of those things in fic which FAIR, but that’s also why i feel like some people don’t write about Lewis, because it kinda scares them. But, it certainly doesn’t scare me! If anything all of those things just make me wanna write about him more.

And as for Sewis and Brocedes…oh man, there is one fic I think about that perfectly handled the Brocedes and how it relates to race, like…there’s one scene that lives rent fucking free in my head. it’s the night we held on til the morning. yeah that scene….woo, definitely one of the reasons i ended up writing this because i was like, now…what a banger way to bring it up.

and the exploration of anger, yeahhhh, like charles being able to loudly declare how frustrated he was. the whiteness of being able to express that and only deal with fines. like will he become called unruly and unbecoming of an omega? sure. but will the racial implications of that impact with it? well, no. but yes, very “you don’t understand the violence it took to be this gentle” indeed. he is always angry. he lives that way. he simply cannot move that way. he has to really navigate that space delicately (as seen irl by how ridiculous australia and china were in terms of media coverage of his and ricky’s radios).

i love eldritcher! i’ve read so many of their fics, and they all make me cry lol. like boohoo bawl. i could do a little review of all of those though, i’d love a reason at all to re-read them!

next chapter is being worked on now! hopefully up before sunday’s race? i can’t make promises though!

[mikethebrave]

Bravery is literally one of will's core traits, so your side trying to erase that and make him into some powerless, delicate, dainty crybaby is genuinely depressing. Will stans are constantly in the trenches to rescue Will from these unfair boxes, and it's like your taking all the things will haters believe about will and then saying, "actually, you're right," instead of challenging those assumptions/stereotypes.

But of course, Will can't be brave and also be the eternally vulnerable feminine damsel in distress y'all clearly want him to be, so you erase Will's canonical bravery in favor of exaggerating Mike's bravery. They both have shown bravery, and they both have shown fear as well.

Why would you even ship byler if you believe will is eternally helpless and wimpy and mike has to step in and save him all the time??? If that was actually their dynamic, that would be weird and lopsided. But that's just... not what happens in the show?

They both are equals. Within the canon of Stranger Things.

It's not about making the characters into "yaoi" whatever, nor is it about buff byers or anything like that. It's about actively making Will out to inherently be cowardly, equating sensitivity with weakness, and then claiming you're following canon, when no? You're viewing things through an incredibly biased filter. And it's very backwards.

have you ever interacted with someone in the real physical world? for extended periods of time? perhaps even through turmoil? do you remember what school was like and the other kids you went to school with? have you ever looked at the world, the horrors that occur in it, and how that changes people? have you ever gone to a nursing home or an assisted living center? have you ever met someone with a disability? have you ever met multiple kinds of gay people, including the ones that fit stereotypes? have you ever looked at gay history and the people that made it up, many of whom are what we based stereotypes off of? my final question was going to be, have you experienced enough growth and development to understand this thing called nuance?, but i can see by your elementary, defensive, and frankly unrealistic way of thinking, not to mention the "sides" comment lol, that the answer to that question is no.

will is a crybaby, because he cries a lot. why is that a bad thing? is it because he's a boy? his life fucking sucks. of course he's going to cry a lot.

he *is* mostly powerless. he can't defend himself against bullies or monsters or vecna. he always needs help and that's okay.

he is delicate. he requires careful handling which is why everyone approaches him differently than they do others. this isn't the same as babying him, it's just having tact. he's also a sensitive kid. emphasis on sensitive, and emphasis on the fact that he's still a kid. also, he is liable to break. he's gay in a small town and feels alone and scared and is in love with someone he not only thinks he'll never have a chance with but who is in love with his sister/other friend. he's in a very vulnerable position to be approached again by vecna, not even counting the other reasons like ptsd, abuse, etc.

no one is erasing will's bravery. in my rb i even mentioned that i think fans were voting will bc they were thinking of his ability to persevere. still, that's different and the poll asks who's bravER. as in who is more brave. and i think that mike is more brave, because even when it comes to stuff like internal struggles... you still need to pry that shit out of will and he only comes clean at the last possible moment when he can no longer keep it to himself without hurting someone.

like i said, he chickened out of telling mike. he didn't want to believe or trust himself in s3 and only said smth when it could no longer be denied without people possibly getting hurt. in s2 he keeps it to himself until joyce makes him talk by telling him she already knows. etc etc.

will is brave. he's brave for wanting to get his truth off his chest even though he can't. he's brave for telling mike that yes he did want to spend forever with him n bringing it up again a year later. he's brave for saying WHO CARESSSSSS abt your relationship problems. he's brave for sticking up to the shadow monster. he's brave for running to the shed to load that gun as a last resort. he was brave to spy back on the shadow monster. but that does not mean he was able to see that bravery through all the way every single time. and you know who does? mike.

also, it is possible to be brave and be a damsel in distress. remember when will told them to close the gate? he was in trouble and he was still willing to go down if it meant saving everyone else. it's almost like your black and white thinking is nonsensical, not even canon-based, and not at all what i've ever argued.

mike's bravery doesn't need to be exaggerated either. it speaks for itself. i and everyone else defending mike in those tags just stated point blank what he did. we didn't need to exaggerate anything lol. but hey it's kinda funny and cool for him that you think just listing his accomplishments is a brag in and of itself lmaoooo

will and mike are complementary, and it's their complementary matching puzzle piece parts that once put together make them equal. i mean, obviously they're equal human beings on their own. but they have qualities that balance each other out and work off of each other in ways that make them a formidable duo. that's why will is so in love with him and even aside from the romance trusts mike more than anyone, and why mike feels at home with will by his side, most himself when with will, and why he can't make it work with el.

also, you sound like a dumbass insinuating that i believe sensitivity is weakness. you're talking to a damn war vet lmao that's why i couldn't tell if you were mocking me with your first message. i've been yelling for yearsssss that will's sensitivity that is perceived as a weakness by antagonists in canon is precisely his strength and what has saved his life.

you sound like a dumbass in general by acting like any of these "negative" traits are bad. newsflash dude everyone has moments when they're cowardly! not everyone in the world is a fighter! sometimes people have ptsd and other disorders that make them freeze up! some people, including boys/men, cry a lot! sometimes people are more brave than others! that's just life!!!!!!! i literally don't know what to tell you. these things make will more real. they make mike more real too. i don't know why you think they're such bad things.

[knowledgequeenabc]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week: Day 3

I have not been making posts for this week because heehoo what is energy or time to remember what I’ve read BUT I have a few suggestions for today if not many. Enjoy First fic is Saturniidae, an older fic from ShinyShiny9, author of Fantastic Mr. Walker! Angst fic about the ninja team having outgrown each other post-s4, and the Ultra Dragon, and the dismay of growing up. Has a dark subplot with Kai that you’ll be familiar with if you read Fantastic Mr. Walker. It’s technically my fault this fic exists and I will never stop regretting/being thankful for that

My second fic is ALSO from ShinyShiny9, only posted on her deviantart and flagged for mature themes, so you will need to log in to read it. ^^; but if you’re willing to do that, Two and a Half is a deceptively angsty fic about Lloyd’s favorite number and all the ways it’s served him through his life, and what the Golden Master prophecy means for him in Rebooted.

I’m going to be that person and toot my own horn just because I’m genuinely proud of this fic but if you can handle eye horror, See No Evil is a dark Kai fic about a mission in a rural forest gone wrong due to supernatural reasons. Comes with pictures!

My main purpose for making this post was to rec Shiny’s fics so now I’m struggling to add to this post without adding the Fandom Greats that everyone will probably recommend already, because my memory sucks, buuuuut...

I’ll start this next one by saying that I would recommend basically all of @scrambledfluffmuffins fic (Dr. Fluffmuffin on FFN)’s repertoire of fic, for their lovely, nuanced takes on all the characters, from the main 6 to Wu and Garmadon! In keeping with the angst theme, I am specifically recommending In Warm Colors for a delicate but devastating exploration of grief in the wake of Kai’s death.

Genuinely unsure how to summarize this one, but Whisper is a long, epic tale of the ninja and their fight against darkness, with extensive lore and magic. Lots of deep moments to let all the ninja shine, but Kai and Nya in particular play a huge role.

@lloydskywalkers is an author who needs no introduction, but presented with the chance to terrorize you all with some of her less-known fic, I can’t refuse. Introducing the fic that literally gave me a nightmare, fears is a bad-end AU of season 2′s finale. Lots of angst, lots of death. Lloyd is a broken boy.

This untitled oneshot by her is also an extremely good angsty fic exploring Jay’s psyche after he runs into Cliff Gordon but fails to speak to him until after his death. :’) Wonderfully painful

This is a whole SERIES but I still recommend it; the Remember series by Bluepaw265 documents Kai’s journey, trying to keep his family alive through each foe they face, and the difficult path with Lloyd as their destinies drive a wedge between them. It’s hard to summarize, but the writing style is light but gut-wrenchingly effective.

struggling to think of anymore I am so sorry almost all of these are on ffn but that’s how you know I’m Old

[technicolorfamiliar]

Technicolor Familiar Watches Too Many Conrad Veidt Movies Part 2 of ?

(More on what this is all about in Part 1)

Disclaimer: I think I get into more plot spoilers here than I did in my last post, incase that matters to any interested parties reading this.

We're getting into the titles where I mostly went in cold, no expectations or even general ideas of what these movies were about beyond brief descriptions on IMDB or Letterboxd.

Oh and, Disclaimer #2: If the creators/editors/scanners of any images used see their work here, please let me know so I can give you proper credit! 🖤

The Thief of Bagdad, 1940 Dir. Ludwig Berger, Zoltan Korda, Tim Whelan, Michael Powell, William Cameron Menzies ⭐2/5 Watched Oct 24, Max Ehhh, I don't know. A lot of people really love this movie. I did not particularly enjoy really anything about it. Sure, it's a groundbreaking technological marvel that set the standard for a lot of future fantasy films. But the story is messy in a way that couldn't be rectified by Movie Magic. All those directors probably account for some of the problems there, but I haven't done a ton of research into the making of the film (what is it with large scale, big budget movies made around this time all having multiple directors?). And, I have to say, putting white actors in brown face is always a tough sell. The third act was partially saved by Sabu and Rex Ingram, two actors of color, having some extended screen time, but only just barely. And frankly, I think Connie, although absolutely glorious in Technicolor, was largely wasted on this one.

Der Student von Prague (The Student of Prague), 1926 Dir. Henrik Galeen ⭐4/5 Watched Oct 29, Archive.org Poor Balduin. All he wanted was a hot, rich girlfriend and what did he get? His evil double chasing him around Prague like Michael Myers. I really loved the old school mirror effects and filming tricks. The updated score in the version I watched was pretty good, too. The final act was excellent. The suspense, the build up -- it's all so well-crafted. And an excellent bridge between high German Expressionism and dramatic period romance. We love to see Connie as the tormented romantic hero. Especially when he's giving face, he's giving eyes, he's giving shapes. I'm having a hard time finding anything negative to say about this one. My only gripe is that it's just a little long, could have had maybe 20 - 30 minutes chopped off (but which 20 - 30 min I could not say).

The Passing of the Third Floor Back, 1935 Dir. Berthold Viertel ⭐4/5 Watched Nov 1, Archive.org This film... it's timeless, actually. I may be a grumpy old so-and-so, but stories where one kind and gentle character comes in and leaves a lasting influence on a bunch of deeply flawed or even outright awful people always get me. For some reason, this is the first of Connie's films from the 1930s on my watch list. Not sure what took me so long, but I was really pleasantly taken aback by his delicately nuanced and subdued performance here. His measured gestures and restraint are so great in this film, and so appropriate for the character. I really appreciate the way the Stranger takes time to consider and see the folks at the boarding house in a way they're clearly not seeing each other. I also love that there's not a lot of exposition or explanation like there usually is in similar pictures: Why is the Stranger there? Who/what is he? Where did he come from? The audience kind of gets an answer at the end, but ultimately nothing more than what we're given matters and wouldn't affect the story anyway.

The Last Performance, 1929 Dir. Paul Fejos ⭐4/5 Watched Nov 4, Youtube Gooped and gagged! Somehow we go from adding a fourth to Erik's polycule to MURDER? I'm so mad so much footage (and a voiceover??) was lost. Can we please talk about the big bisexual energy Connie has in this movie, maybe more than any other film on my list so far? From how he physically handles his costars to how he's styled with the heavy makeup, the tails, the dressing gown, it was a lot to take in, and I am living for it. I'm realizing that, as a performer, he really is a master technician, somehow without anything he's doing on screen coming off as inauthentic or too studied, without "showing the work." Erik's face journey when he kisses Julie's hand and wishes her all the best with Mark is worth watching the whole movie for.

Dark Journey, 1937 Dir. Victor Saville ⭐3/5 Watched Nov 12, Youtube Please believe me when I say I really tried very hard to pay attention to the plot of this movie. But it was extremely difficult as I nearly swallowed my tongue because of how stupidly attractive Connie is as Von Marwitz. He's charming, intense, vulnerable. He really has the range, darling. He's kind of using his lower vocal register a bit which apparently does things to me. (Sorry for all the parentheses in this post, but I was shocked years ago when I saw Casablanca and heard that voice come out of that person. It… it does not go. He's like a early 20th century German Jeremy Irons and I guess I half expected him to sound like that too.) Also, I wasn't into monocles before. I am now. So I have to apologize, I know I said I was going to keep the thirst posts to a minimum but can you blame me? Really? But uh, the movie itself? The story is fine, the script is just ok. There's lots of eye candy with the production design. Vivienne Leigh is doing Vivienne Leigh. And she got that man, so good for her I guess.

Part 3 is going to be all over the place in terms of genre and tone, so we'll see how that goes as I piece together all the stuff I wrote.

[soapoet]

hey soapy! I was curious: what tarot decks do you use and also what's your favorite cards?? I want to get one myself but there are so many options and I don't know what to get 😫 could you maybe give pros and cons of yours or some advice for choosing the right deck? thank you sm❣️

Hiya ♡ this might be a little long sooo...

Here are some of my favourite cards represented by my decks (oracles and lenormands excluded):

Rider-Waite > Dreaming Way > Shadowscapes

Crow tarot > Heaven & Earth > GOT tarot

The following are just my personal experiences and opinions on these decks and how/when/where I use them:

Rider-Waite

I tend to recommend this (or similar) to beginners because it's very easy to follow, and many other decks follow the same concept and I find it easy to use other decks because I know Rider and its symbolism so well, and then easily pick up on how other decks may present things differently, which adds a lot of meaning and variety. Rider is my most scuffed up and beat deck because it has been loved and used for a long time. Even though I have 'prettier' decks (ones that appeal to my aesthetic tastes more like Dreaming way as an example), I always come back to this one. It's my true ace and all-rounder, and I reach for it for a variety of reasons. Bonus: I have a lenormand deck which is built from the imagery in Rider, so they pair beautifully together! 10/10

Dreaming way

Gosh, the imagery in this deck is so precious, like the picture books from my childhood. Differs a little bit from Rider, and those differences are usually very relevant in the readings I do with it. I tend to reach for this one when I do interpersonal readings or need a little more nuance than Rider. The deck is predominantly made up of female characters, even some of the Kings are presented as feminine. Very playful and also easy to read. There's a lenormand deck that pairs with this that's been sold out in the shop I get my decks from, and I'm waiting for them to restock because I need it in my life. Also a 10/10.

Shadowscapes

I really treat this deck like a delicate flower, and tend to only reach for it for more extensive or significant readings, like my annual overviews or spiritual guidance/healing type of stuff. The imagery is very detailed, the kind that you might not always notice everything at first glance and it takes quite a while to acquaint yourself with everything present in each card. It thus requires a little more observing and connecting to each card, but it also gives a lot more if I have the patience. Very soothing deck to use, and I adore the little tales that come along with each card in the book! I wouldn't necessarily recommend this to a beginner because of how many intricate details each card has and how, at least in my experience, it seems to require a higher degree of a meditative state to make the most of readings. 7.5/10

Crow tarot

You'd think this deck would be darker than it is, but it's very vibrant and I have found that it really helps make sense of some darker themes. I tend to reach for this deck specifically for readings that are a little heavier or the querent feels a little anxious about something. It has a very stable and secure energy. A lot of the 'negative' cards (I don't consider them negative but iykyk) have a good amount of hope layered on top so it's not so easy to spiral into unnecessary worry and fear. Despite that, it's still very honest and clear. I'd say Rider is the most brutally straight-to-the-point, no flowery filler or sugar-coating type of deck, whilst Crow is that, just more gentle. The deck does follow similar symbolism, but is a little more abstract which is fun because it really opens up more doors, so to speak. It's slightly larger than the standard sized cards, but I also have very long fingers so I don't have too much of a problem handling the deck, but I know people with smaller hands sometimes struggle with it. 8/10

Heaven & Earth

This is my most recent addition, replacing several decks that I previously owned but gave away to people who needed them more. And boy has this quickly become my go-to. Rider can finally catch a break because this is the deck I bring along when I have somewhere to go, and it's the one I seem to default to often. Very strong and vivid imagery, reminds me of paintings I'd find in a museum. Closely follows Rider's imagery, but also has some additions like symbols for different planets and zodiac signs, Hebrew letters and elements and such. Some cards also have their name changed, like 5 of Wands is called Strife, 10 of Swords has been renamed to Ruin, 2 of Swords is Peace, etc. I find this deck delightful, very thorough yet easy to read and I connect to it very quickly and effortlessly. 10/10

Game of thrones tarot

Listen, this was originally just a suitable type of merch for me (I got my brother the hand of the King pin bottle opener at the same time) but honestly? A surprisingly good deck even though I didn't get it necessarily to use consistently, but the cards are very good quality, even beating some of the above decks in how they feel and could take a serious beating without damage (useful for someone who shuffles like I'm at war). The cards themselves follow the tried and true imagery, but using moments and characters from the show, and I was taken aback a bit by how well they chose some of the cards. This deck produces very vivid imagery and, as I should've expected, is a good story-teller and really takes me on a journey when I use it. It doesn't get a lot of use, but it's still always a nice experience when I do. 8/10

What deck to get is very personal, though most readers would likely agree that starting off with something that has clear imagery and teaches and helps reinforce the basics of each card is the best bet so that the beginner's journey starts with a solid foundation.

Ex. The Kawaii tarot, as adorable as it is, probably isn't the ideal place to start, because it doesn't have much for you to go off of, and would require you to memorise everything without any clues in the cards themselves for everything the card represents. Whereas the Modern witch tarot has the basics that the majority of decks follow and have a lot more for you to pick up on:

Learning tarot is only partially about knowing the basic meanings, and studying the cards and their intricacies just builds the foundation to the craft. Ultimately you will see each card differently every time, notice different things, find alternative meanings and see how they are altered by different combinations with other cards, and depend on the context at hand. Tarot is a tool. You can train your intuition and benefit from using divination tools like tarot to help it along, but ultimately it is your intuition that observes energy, not the cards that dictate what's what, it just gives you something more tangible to tie what you pick up on to.

So really, choose a deck that appeals to you and you'd enjoy using, yet is thorough and clear and has a lot of symbolism, but not too much *cough* Shadowscapes *cough* so that it's too messy, requiring too much focus to pick up on what you're looking at. You can move on to more stylised and abstract decks once you feel more secure and confident in your ability to wield your intuition.

Note: Not all decks are identical to Rider, but many are, so it can be beneficial to know how they work. I know people who learned the basic meanings of cards without anything remotely similar to the imagery presented by Rider, and use highly abstract decks very successfully, and that's perfectly okay too!

But yeah, that's just my two cents. Hope it helps :') ♡

[knightabl]

The Double Solution for a Smooth Home Transition

Moving into a new home can be one of life’s most exciting milestones. Whether it’s your first time buying a house or you’re relocating for better opportunities, the process of packing, organizing, and transporting your life can be just as stressful as it is rewarding. That’s why more homeowners are turning to a two-fold solution: hiring professional movers and combining those services with secure storage options.

This double-pronged approach doesn’t just make your move easier—it offers flexibility, peace of mind, and efficiency throughout the transition. Here's how the right combination of services can turn a chaotic move into a smooth, seamless experience.

Why the Right Movers Make All the Difference

When you begin planning a move, the first task is often finding help to transport your belongings safely and efficiently. It might be tempting to enlist friends or rent a truck, but as many discover the hard way, this route often leads to delays, damage, and frustration. That’s why many people begin their search with a simple query: professional movers near me.

Choosing experienced movers in your area ensures you get a team that understands the nuances of local moves—traffic patterns, city regulations, and neighborhood access. Local professionals are also more likely to offer flexible scheduling and faster service.

But beyond logistics, professional movers offer expertise in handling furniture, delicate items, and bulky belongings. They come equipped with the right tools, materials, and training to ensure your items arrive in the same condition they left. With the added benefit of insurance coverage, you’ll have peace of mind knowing your valuables are protected throughout the journey.

The Overlooked Hero: Storage Services

While hiring movers solves part of the problem, many homeowners underestimate how valuable storage can be during the transition. There are countless reasons why you might not be able to move everything in at once—your new home might still be undergoing renovations, closing dates may not align, or you may want to stage your current home for sale with fewer items inside.

This is where moving and storage services come into play. Combining both services with one provider streamlines your move and eliminates the need to coordinate with multiple companies. You can store your belongings securely in a monitored facility until you're ready to complete the move. Then, when the time is right, the same team that packed your items can deliver them to your new home with no added complications.

Having this option reduces stress, offers scheduling flexibility, and provides a buffer between moving out and fully moving in.

Flexibility for Unpredictable Situations

Every move has variables, and rarely does everything go exactly according to plan. Perhaps your new place isn't ready on time. Maybe you're waiting for furniture to be delivered or a contractor to finish remodeling. In these situations, flexibility becomes invaluable.

A company that offers both moving and storage provides the ultimate safety net. If things change unexpectedly, you don’t have to scramble to adjust your entire plan. Instead, your possessions are kept in a secure location until you're ready. You won’t need to delay your move or compromise your comfort while waiting for everything to align.

Cost-Efficient and Convenient

Bundling services often leads to savings. Many companies offer discounted rates when moving and storage services are combined. More importantly, working with a single provider for both services can avoid duplicate charges for pickup, delivery, and logistics coordination.

Convenience is another major perk. There's no need to handle your items multiple times or transport them from one company’s truck to another’s storage unit. This minimizes the risk of damage and saves you a great deal of time and effort.

Tips for Choosing the Right Partner

Not all moving companies are created equal, and the success of your move will depend heavily on the provider you choose. Here are a few things to look for when selecting a company that offers both moving and storage:

Licensing and Insurance: Make sure they are licensed and insured to protect your belongings.

Transparent Pricing: Look for a detailed quote that outlines all costs—no hidden fees.

Security Measures: Ask about their storage facility's security features such as climate control, 24/7 surveillance, and restricted access.

Reputation: Read customer reviews, testimonials, and ratings on independent platforms.

Experience: Prioritize companies with a proven track record of handling moves similar to yours.

The Emotional Benefits

Beyond convenience and cost, there’s another critical factor: peace of mind. Moving is one of the top stressors for families and individuals. Knowing your possessions are being handled by trained professionals and are safely stored during transitions can dramatically reduce anxiety.

Whether you're juggling work, children, or other responsibilities, this double solution allows you to focus on settling into your new home and life—not the chaos of moving.

Conclusion

Your move doesn’t have to be a logistical nightmare. With the right support, it can be a smooth, even enjoyable transition. By working with professional movers near me, you gain reliable help for the heavy lifting, expert care for your items, and efficient relocation logistics. Pair that with moving and storage services, and you’ll have the flexibility and peace of mind needed to handle any situation that arises. Whether your move is planned months in advance or coming together quickly, this combination gives you the control, security, and simplicity that every family deserves during a major life transition. Choose wisely, plan smartly, and let the double solution turn your next move into a success story.

[zoeyrushed27]

Why Professional Cleaning Services Are Better Than DIY

Cleaning is an essential part of maintaining a healthy and comfortable living or working environment. While many people prefer to tackle cleaning tasks themselves, hiring professional house cleaning services can often be a more effective, efficient, and stress-free solution. Below, we delve into the key reasons why professional cleaning services outshine the DIY approach.

Expertise and Training

Professional cleaners are trained in the latest cleaning techniques and use specialized tools and products to achieve superior results. They understand how to handle various surfaces and materials without causing damage, ensuring that everything from hardwood floors to delicate upholstery is cleaned safely and effectively. DIY cleaning, on the other hand, often relies on trial and error, which can lead to subpar results or even permanent damage to your property.

Time-Saving

Cleaning can be a time-consuming task, especially when it involves deep cleaning or tackling stubborn stains. Hiring professionals allows you to reclaim your valuable time and focus on other priorities, whether it’s spending time with your family, advancing your career, or simply relaxing. Professional cleaners work quickly and efficiently, delivering spotless results in a fraction of the time it would take an untrained individual.

Access to Specialized Equipment and Products

Professional cleaning services have access to industrial-grade equipment and high-quality cleaning products that are not typically available to consumers. These tools and products are designed to deliver a deeper clean, removing dirt, allergens, and bacteria more effectively than standard household items. For instance, a professional service might use steam cleaners, HEPA vacuums, or eco-friendly solutions that offer superior performance while being safe for the environment.

Health Benefits

A clean environment is crucial for good health. Professional cleaners are trained to eliminate allergens, mold, and bacteria that can accumulate over time and pose risks to your well-being. They target hidden areas like air vents, under furniture, and high shelves that are often overlooked during DIY cleaning. This comprehensive approach helps reduce the risk of allergies, respiratory issues, and other health problems, creating a safer and healthier space.

Customized Cleaning Plans

Every space has unique cleaning needs, and professional services offer tailored solutions to address them. Whether you need a one-time deep clean, regular maintenance, or specialized services like carpet cleaning or window washing, professionals can adapt their approach to meet your specific requirements. DIY cleaning, by contrast, often follows a one-size-fits-all approach, which may not be sufficient for addressing the nuances of your space.

Cost-Effectiveness

While hiring professional cleaners may seem more expensive upfront, it can save you money in the long run. Professionals extend the life of your furniture, carpets, and appliances by maintaining them properly, reducing the need for costly replacements. Additionally, the time you save can be redirected toward more productive or rewarding activities, offering intangible yet valuable returns.

Stress Reduction

Cleaning can be physically demanding and mentally exhausting, especially when dealing with tough stains or extensive areas. Professional cleaning services take the burden off your shoulders, allowing you to enjoy a spotless environment without lifting a finger. This peace of mind is invaluable, particularly for busy individuals or those with physical limitations.

While DIY cleaning has its place, it often falls short of the results achieved by professional cleaning services. With their expertise, specialized equipment, and commitment to excellence, professional cleaners offer a level of cleanliness, convenience, and peace of mind that is hard to match. Investing in a professional cleaning service is not just about keeping your space clean—it’s about enhancing your quality of life.

[waikikimumbai]

Indulge in the Ocean’s Finest: Why Seafood is Considered a Decadent Cuisine

When it comes to upscale dining, fish frequently takes centre stage. From luscious lobsters to delicate oysters, seafood has long been linked with decadence, elegance, and a hint of the unusual. But why is shellfish considered such a sumptuous cuisine? If you enjoy discovering nuanced flavours, let’s look at what makes seafood such a popular option among aficionados around the world.

The Freshness of the Ocean:

A Taste Unlike Any Other One of the distinguishing features of seafood is its unparalleled freshness. Nothing compares to the crisp, briny taste of a fresh catch from the ocean. Seafood stands out from other sources of protein due to its unusual freshness. Quality seafood may carry the subtle flavours of the sea, providing a one-of-a-kind eating experience that transports you to coastal shores even when you’re miles away.

Why does seafood taste so fresh?

The secret is in its natural environment. Seafood absorbs the aromas of the waterways in which it dwells, whether they are salty Atlantic waves or tropical Pacific currents. This gives each type of seafood a particular taste profile, making it a popular component among chefs who appreciate the complexity and purity of flavour.

Nutrient-rich and Surprisingly Healthy

Despite its sumptuous reputation, seafood is more than just an indulgence. It is also one of the most nutritious protein sources you can incorporate into your diet. Seafood contains vital nutrients such as Omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins B12 and D, and minerals like selenium and iodine. These nutrients not only promote overall well-being, but they are especially important to heart health, brain function, and bright skin.

Why does fish have the ‘guilt-free enjoyment’ label?

Compared to rich red meats, many seafood recipes are inherently reduced in calories and saturated fats. They provide a delicious meal without the added heaviness, making them an excellent choice for a decadent but health-conscious lifestyle.

Versatility: A Culinary Playground.

One of the reasons shellfish has such a distinct place in the realm of fine dining is its extraordinary adaptability. It can be grilled, cooked, roasted, seared, or eaten raw. From deep buttery sauces that match lobster tails to light, acidic ceviches that cleanse the palette, seafood responds well to a variety of flavors and cooking styles.

How does seafood inspire chefs to innovate? Its adaptability enables cooks to be

inventive and experiment with flavors from throughout the world. This is why seafood dishesare frequently featured as highlights on high-end menus—there is always a new twist to discover, making every dining experience memorable.

A symbol of luxury and exclusivity.

There’s a reason why seafood is frequently associated with celebrations, special occasions, and high-end eating. Certain varieties of seafood, such as oysters, caviar, and Alaskan king crab, are not only uncommon, but also need specialised expertise to collect and prepare. This provides a sense of exclusivity and dignity to seafood dishes.

Why does seafood have a higher price?

The delicate handling, quick perishability, and meticulous preparation required to deliver fresh seafood to your dish add to its high value. Furthermore, sustainable fishing practices and ethical sourcing can raise prices, but they also provide a guilt-free eating experience for environmentally conscientious clientele.

Common Doubts About Seafood—And Why You Shouldn’t Worry.

Many potential seafood lovers are hesitant due to concerns about freshness, preparation, or ethical considerations. Here’s why you may unwind and enjoy:

● Concern for freshness: High-quality seafood restaurants, such as Waikiki, prioritize fresh, daily catches to ensure the best flavours make it to your plate. Our ingredients are acquired from reliable sources who share our commitment to excellence.

● Concerns regarding preparation: Preparing seafood may appear overwhelming to amateur cooks, but our skilled chefs have mastered the procedures that bring out the best in each dish. Whether it’s delicate scallops or strong tuna steaks, you’re in good hands.

● Ethical and sustainability concerns: At Waikiki, we take pleasure in obtaining fish responsibly. Our commitment to sustainability means that each mouthful you take assists the environment-friendly practices, ensuring that ocean ecosystems remain healthy for future generations.

Are you ready to experience the ultimate seafood delight?

If you’re interested in the world of seafood, now is the time to discover our menu at Waikiki. From rich and creamy lobster bisques to refreshing seafood platters, we encourage you to experience the elegance and sophistication that only the ocean’s best can provide. Visit Waikiki for a one-of-a-kind seafood experience, with each dish celebrating quality, flavor, and the natural abundance of the ocean. Reserve your reservation today and allow us to take you on an exquisite and amazing culinary trip!

Explore Our Menu | Reserve Now | Join the Waikiki Seafood Lovers’ Club!

[gr8ntaire]

Hi I just read ur most recent fic and ur writing style is just UNREAL. I was gonna leave an anon comment on the fic bc I’m shy but u have them turned off so here I am on your blog! rly obsessed with how you make every single line feel loaded with meaning – there’s subtlety, like u are letting the story breathe while keeping this undercurrent of tension & I could feel the weight of everything left unsaid between Carl and Pete, and the way you write their emotions is so vivid but never feels overdone like every word you chose has this impact, like a quiet punch but leaves you thinking about it afterwards.

also, the way you handle perspective changes? just brilliant. It’s rly hard to write dual perspectives effectively but u capture both Carl and Pete’s voices so naturally, making them distinct but still tangled up in each other which is a mirror of how they are in the real world. It’s not just what they’re saying ,it’s how you show their inner conflicts and let their thoughts trail off or collide with each other, and I really love it. U have a uniqueknack for making each perspective feel layered without ever losing the flow or it seeming stilted. It makes their relationship feel so nuanced and real, like you’re letting us in on moments that are raw and private and honest. when I first read this I was SURE this must have happened, that’s how realistic your writing is

there’s so much tension and unspoken words simmering beneath, even in the smaller scenes, like the detail feels intentional, like the glass of water or the silence between them. It’s restrained but SO full of feeling.. GAHHHH it’s the kind of writing style I could read forever. youve taken this famously complicated relationship and made it feel almost delicate. it’s super hard to write Peter and carl (I have tried!) but you write it like its breathing. you clearly have an insane knack for characterisation and I’m excited to read whatever u write next! (Sorry if this message made zero sense I’m tired from my night shift hahahaha)

hi!!!!

Oh my goodness, this is the nicest message ever, thank you so much for sending it! I feel like you really understand what I was trying to get across in that fic so I’m really pleased and grateful haha. I tend to write things very intentionally and inherent in that is like, the point, or a meaning — a reason for writing, if that makes sense — and I think in that fic I really wanted to explore the idea of communication and how, for example, Carl’s active choice to not talk things out with Peter is, indeed, an active choice (rather than things passively happening to him or it all being Peter’s fault for example) and that silence is almost a communication tool within itself.

I’m really glad you liked the perspective choice! I was fairly nervous about it for a while but it goes back to that idea I just mentioned: the complexity of that whole situation was both Peter and Carl’s opting into it (however unwillingly Carl likes to act like it is, in the fic, it’s again his active choice to do so and he has to accept responsibility for that as much as Peter does/has to for it to work in any capacity) and so it felt important to have both their voices in the conversation of the story. I guess it was also important to me to have the voices almost on the edge of sliding together or colliding as you say (again thank you for writing so many beautiful words about my words I can’t believe it) because again it’s that dual responsibility aspect and also that it’s such a complex situation with everyone’s differing emotions and opinions almost ricocheting off each other from conflict points — the only way to solve it is by communicating through it rather than blaming each other.

I really try very hard to make them seem realistic - I find them so fascinating in their Real True Forms, if u will, that I kinda just want to explore that and the messiness of the reality (which is, tangentially, also why you’ll probably never see a fic from me with the traditional sense of romantic love in it between p&c, since I’m not trying to put them into a simple box in that sense, just exploring what I see, I guess) - so it means a lot to me that you felt that!

I’m glad, too, that you point out the glass detail specifically, since that’s one of my favourite moments I’ve written haha. It was the first scene that came to me in that story and it always felt super clear in my brain. There’s a few bits of just what I’d just ���Typical (Peter especially) Dramatics’ in that scene in particular, which is just fun as a writer personally, he makes it very easy to expand on seemingly random things like that.

To be honest equally, I love writing Peter and Carl, it’s many things but certainly the biggest one is incredibly interesting and complex which is a fun game of exploration as a writer (& sometimes a challenge too). I kinda feel like writing Peter especially is just allowing myself to write as Romantically and expressively as possible - emotional and larger than life in a way only Peter can make seem believable haha. I find Carl way more complex, since he’s on the surface a lot more restrained - it’s an act of almost holding two narrative in at once, just to write Carl and both of them have to feel real, so thank you for this, I’m glad it actually worked haha.

I’m really hoping to be able to publish a new fic soon - I’ve been working on one for like two months at this point but it’s sooooo close to being done - it’s unfortunately been a bit of a larger beast than I expected but I think I explore new (for me as a writer) territory with it so I’ll be excited to show that aspect of my writing too.

(Please don’t apologise for this!! I accept any form of discussion on my writing in any case but certainly this was the most lovely thing to read so no apology is necessary haha. And also for my part I don’t know if this answer is a massive mess haha, I could talk about writing all day so this was very exciting to me!)

Thank you again for reading!!

[employment-lawyer-netherlands]

Guide for Employers in Amsterdam

Amsterdam, a bustling hub in the Netherlands, has become a focal point for employment issues, intricacies, and legal solutions.

This post offers a perspective on how an employment lawyer in the Netherlands can assist employers, whether local or international, with Dutch employment law.

Understanding Dutch Employment Law: What Makes Employment Law in the Netherlands Unique?

Dutch employment law presents a mix of protective measures for both employers and employees. A sound understanding of these laws is essential for businesses operating in the Netherlands, especially in vibrant cities like Amsterdam. It's crucial to be aware of the latest developments in employment law and the balance it strikes between employee and employer rights. With its deep-rooted values, Dutch employment law ensures fair employment conditions, making it distinct from many other jurisdictions.

Decoding the Dutch Employment Contract: What Should Employers Know about Employment Law in the Netherlands?

An employment contract is the bedrock of the employer-employee relationship in the Netherlands. Dutch law ensures that these contracts are transparent and protect the rights of both parties. There are several types of employment agreements, and understanding each can help employers avoid legal challenges. Expert employment lawyers can provide legal advice on drafting contracts that align with Dutch legislation and best practices.

Termination of Employment: When and How Can It Happen?

In the realm of Dutch employment law, termination is a topic that requires delicate handling. The termination of the employment contract should adhere to strict procedures. Whether it's a summary dismissal or a mutual agreement, understanding the legal procedures is crucial. Employers seeking to terminate an employee's contract should always seek legal counsel to ensure that they're acting within the boundaries of the law.

Dismissal Procedure in the Netherlands: A Step-by-Step Overview

Dismissal in the Netherlands is a comprehensive procedure that mandates adherence to the legal framework. From providing valid reasons for dismissal to respecting the notice period, each step should be meticulously planned. An employment lawyer may offer invaluable insights into the dismissal procedure, ensuring that employers remain compliant with Dutch employment law and avoid potential legal proceedings.

Settlement Agreements: Are They the Right Choice for Employers?

Settlement agreements, often used to resolve employment disputes amicably, have gained traction in the Netherlands. They offer a way to part on mutual terms, but drafting a robust settlement agreement requires legal expertise. These agreements should cater to the unique employment situation while protecting the employer's interests and legal rights.

How Can an Employment Lawyer Help? Legal Expertise to Your Rescue

Navigating the complexities of Dutch employment law can be challenging. An employment lawyer in the Netherlands brings legal knowledge, experience, and a nuanced understanding of both local and international employment norms. From offering legal support in contract drafting to handling employment litigation, their assistance is paramount in ensuring that employers make informed decisions.

The Role of Labour Law in Employer-Employee Relationships

Labour law, or "arbeidsrecht" in Dutch, plays a pivotal role in defining the dynamics between employers and employees. By addressing employment matters like work hours, safety regulations, and employee participation law, it ensures a harmonious workplace. Engaging with a law firm specialising in employment law can help employers stay updated and compliant with these regulations.

Field of Employment Law: Tackling Cross-Border Employment

Amsterdam, being an international hub, witnesses a plethora of cross-border employment scenarios. Understanding the legal matters related to international labour law is indispensable for multinational companies. Employment lawyers provide legal advice and services tailored to the challenges of cross-border employment, ensuring smooth operations.

Legal Assistance and Employment Issues: Why Expert Legal Counsel Matters

Employment issues, if not addressed promptly, can escalate into costly legal battles. By seeking timely legal assistance, employers can prevent these scenarios, safeguarding their interests and reputation. Law firms in Amsterdam offer a wide variety of employment law services, aiding businesses in resolving legal issues efficiently.

The Best Law Firms in Amsterdam Specialising in Employment Law

Amsterdam boasts some renowned law firms proficient in Dutch employment law. These firms offer legal services ranging from employment contracts to complex legal proceedings. Engaging with a reputable law firm in Amsterdam ensures that employers receive top-tier legal support in all employment law concerns.

In Conclusion:

Dutch employment law offers a unique blend of protections for both employers and employees.

Proper understanding and adherence to employment contracts are vital.

Settlement agreements, when executed correctly, can benefit both parties.

Legal assistance from experienced employment lawyers is invaluable for navigating the intricacies of Dutch employment law.

Amsterdam houses top-notch law firms specialising in employment law, ready to assist businesses with their legal needs.

[thebluedragoncave]

Valentine’s Day

I don’t like this holiday, for so many reasons, but it’s hitting different this year after the worst breakup of my life. So I’ve decided to reframe it as an opportunity to highlight and uplift some of my favorite fics and writers in this post and show them some love on this stupid day about love. 

From @unbecomingsposting there are so many to choose from, so many that I love, but I’ve narrowed it down to a few, Tis’ the Damn Season reminded me so much of the emotions associated with my own hometown and dumb high school mistakes, Good Things Fall Apart hurt me in just the right way, Talk is Cheap is one of my favorite portrayals of Rose and Sonnett’s dynamic, Reckless Driving has amazing emotional nuances in one of my favorite liminal spaces (stuck in a car together) It Flickers is in here of course, enough said (it’s also the first time I ever saw a Lindsey/Rose ship and I fell in love with it and ran to read All the Love You Ever Get) And OF COURSE, All We Are (Is Time That’s Counting Down) is my current obsession and I jump for joy every time it’s updated.

From @serviir Tired and Wired was the first Ronnett fic I ever read and fell in love with immediately, I still go back to it all the time, Born to Beg features some of the hottest smut I’ve ever read, along with an incredibly vulnerable Sonny and Kelley, and in my best clothes, trying to think of you has some of my favorite Rose and Sonnett dialouge and kiss descriptions.

From @xofantasycloud I re-read Second Chances probably once a month because I’m in love with it, Dancing With the Soccer Star has me finally excited for Mondays again, and Soaring is the first rpf I ever read and loved so dearly, as a trans person my relationship with Harry Potter is so complicated but this fic made me feel that same warmth for it that I felt as a child. ALSO a special thank you to @xofantasycloud on this day for chatting with me on here, our conversations always make my day better :) 

From @bagelbongos I’m totally enthralled with Mind Over Matter and will soon be writing a line by line review for it when I get a moment because it’s some of the best writing I’ve ever read, Heart Shaped Box for angsty Rose and all to willing to go along with it Sonnett, Burning Red for being some of the best kink fic I’ve ever read, handled in such a delicate and beautiful way that shows just how much Sonny cares about Rose.

From @emalemaleigh Head Over Heels (for Something That Ain’t Real) is some of the best and most vulnerable Kelley I’ve ever read, where she goes (i’ve got to be) is such sweet Soran, and I’ve got the Instagram exchange at the end on a sticky note on my wall because it always makes me laugh, La Vie en Rose is another comfort fic for me, which I re-read often and a heart like that, you deserve the world  because I’m a sucker for fluff and for the detail about where Sonny was when Kelley called her. 

From @homoeroticsubplot the fic that completely shifted my perspective on Sonnett and broke my heart and mirrored my own trauma and anxieties, the one and only infamous I Wake in the Night, I Pace Like a Ghost (Room is on Fire, Invisible Smoke) and it’s accompanying sequel Candle Wax and Polaroids on the Hardwood Floor (You and Me, Forevermore) for which I do not have the words to describe how much these fics mean to me, I will forever be in love with every fic you write. 

There are so many others I love that I’m sure I forgot, but these are the ones I’ve chosen for today. 

If you’ve made it this far, congrats! I hope your Valentine’s Day can be uplifted by some of these suggestions, or maybe you can spend it like how I’m spending mine, with Tumblr posts, a bowl of Lucky Charms, a Lavender Candle, a beer, and Noah Kahan’s Stick Season. 

[blockmengobrr]

Logged on to Twitter for the first time in a few weeks and I'm not surprised at what I’m seeing from mcyttwt. I have a lot to say about why the environment of mcyttwt and kpoptwt is the way it is (prepare for long post).

I honestly feel bad for a lot of the "toxic" kids on Twitter. They're going through the same "edgy middle school clique-y phase" a lot of people went through like 10 years ago. Except there is no parental supervision, they have the "protection" of anonymity that prevents them from facing any actual consequences, are fed constant validation through their peers and their algorithm-fueled echo chamber, and are told that their behavior is a form of social justice.

When I see some 13-14 year old "stan" participate in or justify harassment, death threats, or doxxing, I no longer have it in me to get angry at them individually. I just feel sad and honestly a little worried for them. How did they get to a mental state where they think this is ok?

I think this pandemic has proven that while social media can replace real life interactions in the short term, it really doesn't work as a long term substitute. When you rely off algorithms to provide you with human interactions, it's very easy to get caught up into "doomscrolling" and being constantly bombarded with controversies from across the web. When you are limited to 280 characters per tweet, nuance is removed from very delicate subjects and misunderstanding prevails. Being angry keeps you engaged.

Twitter is a corporation that wants to make as much money through their sponsors, so if feeding people a stream of negativity will keep them on the site for longer, that is what their algorithm will promote. While this is a profitable business model, it is very damaging to the mental health of much of their (especially young and vulnerable) userbase. Unless you are excellent at self-regulating the content you consume and the time you spend on Twitter, if you are mentally ill it is very easy to fall into a death spiral if you just happen to stumble across the wrong crowd. It isn't healthy, and I'd wish The Kids™ could understand this. (A large part of the reason I mostly use Tumblr is that the algorithm is so scuffed that I can put it down waaay easier when I need to lol).

It's worth noting that the worst Twitter communities tend to have the most dedicated and overly parasocial fans -- the most socially isolated and terminally online people are drawn to online personalities that provide a lot of comfort and direct interaction with their audiences. This is why Minecraft streamers and Kpop idols specifically have very toxic user bases, because many of their fans that spend a lot of time on twitter are probably very isolated (or at the very least bored) and spend far too much time seeking validation from complete strangers.

I hope that they go to therapy, and I mean this genuinely -- it's not an insult. Our brains are not built to handle this much stimuli, and we're all getting screwed by it.

TL:DR - Blue corporate bird makes mental illness and harassment go brrrr

[yeoldontknow]

Sheltered Hearts: 4 (FINAL)

Author’s note: for @iq-biased​. i hope you all enjoy the last part in this series as much as i enjoyed writing it! Paring: Yoongi x Reader (oc; female) Genre: enemies to lovers; vet!au; angst; romance; fluff Rating (this chapter): PG Warnings (this chapter): angst; some discussion of surgery but nothing graphic; a sick doggo who deserves so many kisses and is a good boy; a very soft first kiss; a very soft yoongi :( someone hug him Word count: 7.5K

masterlist

Talia’s hands tremble when you reach out to hug her, the strength in your joints equally as unwavering as the strength of your gaze upon your fingers. For now they are clean, gloves discarded and with them Casper’s blood, but that does not change where they have been, does not erase all that they have touched. You hold her gently, instinctually used to soft touches and gentle movements; lingering in a place and time when any pressure, too hard or too coarse, would cause malleable sinew to sever. The relief in her breath against your shoulder is immeasurable, perhaps her first genuine exhale in hours, but you remain silent, altogether still too aware of your hands, haunted.

‘He’s recovering,’ you hear yourself whisper, though you are unsure of the purpose of this statement. Is it to tether you to the earth? To reassure Talia? You cannot say for certain. It erupts from nowhere, a confident murmur, dawning in the center of your chest and desperate to greet the air within the same second. It is unprompted and likely unprofessional, but it matters, brimming over from the place where emotion latches onto blood. 

Dr. Hague stands behind Yoongi, observant and encouraging, as he details Casper’s rehabilitation plan, voice bright and clear with sunlight nestled into the corner of his words. Even without looking at him, you can hear he is smiling, that boyish yet professional expression he wears when he is proud, still love-drunk from the concept of recovery. She breaks away from you, hanging on his every word and forcing herself not to celebrate too soon.

Casper will be held for several days in observation, the first three days the most imperative when infection or rejection can set in. Should he come out of these days unscathed, he will then be transferred to recovery therapy and then spend five weeks on lead, unable to freely play. It will be hard, he advises, and Talia nods, prepared to try to understand, chewing at the only question love ever allows to settle in a space like this:

When can I see him?

You don’t wait for her to ask the question, air in the room becoming thin and altogether too stale for your liking. Pulling off your surgical cap, you turn abruptly, moving through the waiting area to push your way through the doors and out to the parking lot. In the field across the street, the sun has just begun to set, blood on the grass that illuminates the earth like wildfire. A single breath is not enough to contain this, you think, a moment of fierce victory and delicate, unfathomable frailty. It could snap, this sense of pride and pleasure, one white blood cell rejecting the next would bring this moment to an endless, perpetual night. 

Breathing deep, the smell of the wild flowers finds its way to you, a Spring evening that will eventually fade and fade until other victories and other failures render this moment painfully ordinary. Breathing deep, you cling to this feeling, the understanding that Gods never marvel at their miracles - the knowledge that surgery is not the act of playing with fate and instead is the summation of human suffering, a desperate plea to continue in life’s brief and limited smallness. 

All things live, all things die, and it is a blessing to be present at both. 

The clack of the door closing breaks your thoughts, but you do not open your eyes. You want this moment to last a little longer, regardless of who sees you, aware that these kinds of successes look almost the same as defeat, brutal and unforgiving. Yoongi’s presence lifts the hair on your arms to standing, an energetic cascade of safety and understanding. He moves behind you, drifting from your right to the center of your back to your left and off, somewhere away from you and carried by the doppler effect of his even footsteps. 

He doesn’t speak, and even in this silent awareness that you are being observed you don’t feel pressured to speak with him. Yoongi lets you be, allows you to continue, uninterrupted, and lets you stand in the ever lowering sun, the warmth from the day giving over to a cool breeze, demanding nothing from you. He lingers at the edge of your awareness, a watchful satellite ensuring you are whole and that, if you do break, you do not break alone. When you finally open your eyes, your turn to face him, hands at your sides too full of blood and swollen, now, with excitement. 

Leaning against his car, now in his street clothes, Yoongi stands, arms crossed and expression placid, watching you with a whisper of a smile. Liberated from his scrubs and hugging himself in a thin burgundy hoodie, he no longer is the surgeon or the doctor or the student battling for recognition. Instead, he is simply Min Yoongi, young and handsome and magnificent, watching you as though you are the fading light of the earth, intent on memorizing all your nuanced shades.

For a while, you are content to linger in this silence with him, observing him with the same unfettered focus. Eyes wired, the dimming light catches his irises, making him appear as though he glows from within. Thin lipped, he no longer appears severe in this light, instead he is curious and mercurial, hungry for the truth of things - the truth of you. The last strands of light hold tightly to his hair, lighting him on fire, burning the edges of his aura. 

‘How about that diner?’ he asks with a gentle nod of his head towards his car, recalling his earlier suggestion.

The rumble in your stomach at the suggestion makes you giggle, though you are unsure if it is food you desire or if it is him, moments alone with him to truly see who he is when he does not have to fight to be seen. 

Yoongi orders pancakes as though it would be a sacrilege to eat anything else at a diner, unbothered with the pretense of looking at the menu. In the pale fluorescent light, a pink blush settles on his cheeks, teased to life either by the rush of blood beneath his cheeks or the soft reflection of the red vinyl seat. You feel his eyes on you as you scan the menu, his inquisitive stare taking its time handling your frame. Gripping the edge of your seat, your eyes glaze over, scanning the words and the pictures, idly wondering why you bother with such false shows of interest when, much like Yoongi, you know you will order the waffles - something slightly different, but similar enough in its texture and form that you begin to see Yoongi as your mirror image.

His gaze remains trained on you even after the waiter has departed, arms folded, again, across his chest in a congenial display of interest. You’re not used to such unbridled attention, the kind of focus that comes from learning a person rather than witnessing them. The steel in his features has disappeared, rendering him soft and human and altogether too sincere for your liking, but the stillness in his focus tells you he is disassembling you. Fidgeting in your seat, heat crawls along your skin, joints tense and tongue heavy against your teeth. 

You watch him too, watch the way his head cocks slowly to the side, a small smirk pulling at his lips. Watch the way he lets himself be painted by the light, different now to the sun and do the red and pink and blue kaleidoscope of the sky but equally as mesmerizing. No one is meant to be offered a metamorphosis in this kind of light. No one is meant to become beautiful, but he is. Of course he is. 

Tearing your eyes away, a small act of desperation, you think, you glance around the diner. People are scattered, the empty spaces between occupied tables perhaps larger in number than those seated altogether, but you are glad for the quiet hum of life and motion. Thursday evening, and you would not say this particular location is prone to a rush hour, but it’s peaceful, a reminder that the weather turns, hearts beat, and lungs breathe.

A reminder that some things do not change even if the way you are feeling about Yoongi is.

‘I’m realizing,’ he announces, calling your attention back to him with his smooth, low drawl, ‘that we have only spent time together in the context of work.’

‘You’re just realizing this?’

‘No,’ he admits. ‘But I’m saying why haven’t we? In five weeks, amidst everything, why haven’t we?’

It’s not an unfamiliar question, one you have been mulling over for days at a time. At the clinic, things have changed - even before Casper’s surgery, the way you move around Yoongi has shifted not unlike the planets around the sun. But then, it is not just you who has been altered, moved by this sudden unified desire to help. Yoongi, too, smiles more - the kind where his teeth are on full display and for one, precious moment, he is not afraid of being himself; laughs louder; allows the creases at the center of his eyes to form without worrying he is being unprofessional.

In the past several weeks, you have found more reasons to be beside him, more reasons to ask for his advice, found yourself craving the very concept and theology of more - not necessarily love or a crush, but the threatening start of one, the thunder of your heart just a little louder when he laughs. Some days, it is no longer Dr. Hague’s praise you crave but his, as if he has any bearing on your success, as though a word of approval from him holds more weight than any paper rewarded to you by the nature of your own hard work - as if hours spent challenging him are as valuable as hours alone in a lab, giving over and giving in, allowing yourself to become better because he requires it.

Clearing your throat, you let your eyes wander over his easy smile and his cool, collected demeanor. ‘I don’t know,’ you shrug, a casual display of nonchalance. ‘You never asked.’

Yoongi chuckles, unfolding his arms as he leans a little closer to the table. ‘You didn’t ask, either.’ 

Cocking your brow, you feel yourself smirk, pulling at his words the same way he pulls as yours. ‘Are we calling a truce?’

For a long moment, Yoongi considers your words, mulling them over as his cheeks inflate with air. Folding his arms on the table, he regards you in a playful contest, the diner becoming little more than a boardroom for your false negotiations. Mirroring his position, you rest your arms on the table and narrow your eyes. Chewing at the inside of your cheek, it takes work to swallow the smile you want to offer him, the sort of smile he so badly hides at the corner of his mouth. 

‘At work?’ he says, finally.

You nod, resolute in your role and your intent.

‘Never.’ He falls back into his seat, reclining into the cushion with his eyes full of promise and mirth. You wait for him to speak, somehow hanging on every word, relieved that this rivalry can continue as is, uninterrupted and unchanged, yet still expectant. ‘But outside of work,’ he continues, slowly, his wide smile blossoming, ‘I’d like to be friends.’

Everything about Min Yoongi is infectious, the light in his eyes a dangerous glimmer that demands your surrender. Taking a deep breath, you prepare your words, aware that your acceptance of this offer is a commitment not unlike love, yet carrying with it the potential to last longer, eternal, the purest form of connection that could exist.

 ‘I can do that.’

The arrival of your food ceases all conversation, the growling in your stomach a reminder that you have not eaten since before Casper’s surgery. All morning you had felt uneasy, not nauseous and not queasy, but unable to shake that you were standing at the precipice between fantasy and reality. The statement of wanting to be something is entirely different than the process of becoming, said so long and so often throughout your life that you had almost forgotten that the experience of growth is just as important as the commitment to the desire. And so you had not eaten, certain that the comfort of a meal would distract you from the weight of importance. 

Taking your time arranging your plates of eggs and bacon, gathering your napkin and utensils, you greet your waffles with an enthusiastic smile. Glancing upwards, you find yourself laughing at Yoongi and his childlike glee. He falls into his meal the same way he falls into surgery, with diligence and an edge of impatience, as though the plate itself carried a seduction he found irresistible. Hands idle over your fork and knife, you wonder if this is the enthusiasm with which he falls into everything he desires, unbridled though careful, unsatisfied until he has born witness to and tasted it all, with a fidelity of devotion large enough to cradle the sun.

He cuts into his pancakes with diligence, holding his fork and knife with surgical delicacy as he makes elegant cuts, shaping his pieces with precision. You’re sure it’s just a habit, something he can’t quit after so long of learning to be careful, but you feel the onslaught of your sudden similarities in the center of your chest, a weight becoming harder and harder to disregard. 

‘What you did for Casper was impressive,' he announces, penetrating your thoughts with the cool tones of his voice. 'The foresight required to make that kind of suggestion...to invent something…’ His words evaporate as he chews, glancing from his pancakes to his bacon and back again, unsure which deserves his attention more. Swallowing, he nods, assuming you have already agreed with him. ‘Remarkable.'

The magic of the moment is broken by the implication this is an unusual occurrence, reminded now that, had you been more vocal, more demanding and less angry that the clinic already had a rising star, there would have been more chances, more opportunities to prove this kind of medicine is not a miracle. Briefly, the sterilized antiseptic scent of the graduate school lab hall floods your synapses. All the bones you watched break, only to be put together by someone else; all the innovations, the universal mystery of 3D printing no longer so out of reach; all the advances humanity makes simply because they want to, and because they can. 

What you did for Casper, you think, was not as much impressive as it was the morally correct thing to try. Long ago, you decided magic is real and magic is man made. Magic is the decision of recognizing something is broken and taking the initiative to fix it. 

Casting your attention to your waffles, you grip your utensils with the same tender reverence as Yoongi, hands giving pause to make your first incision. ‘It wasn’t really,' you murmur with a shrug.

Yoongi halts his movements and swallows, blinking at you momentarily bewildered.

‘No?' he snorts, disbelieving. 'Tell that to Talia. That dog might walk again, with all four legs mind you. That never would have happened without you.'

Humming, you nod in mild agreement. ‘I mean sure, objectively, it is.'

Dropping your shoulders, you consider your words, wondering how anyone could explain the way careful hands and cold metal can create structure - not necessarily life - but still something vital, necessary, and powerful just the same; the offer of a new life, created and manifested simply because you want it to be. How could you ever, you wonder, explain that you are not bringing someone back to life, but adding to the concept of it, extending it- challenging, not death but, life itself.

‘But,’ you continue, meeting his eyes once more as you decide on a worthy enough explanation, ‘you have to understand that’s the standard for orthopedics, this kind of specialty.’ 

He eyes you expectantly, hands poised and still, knowing that there is more - so much more you want to say - and leaves you the absolute freedom to say with, unhindered. 

‘In our surgery labs, you should see what you can build. What you can make with your own two hands.’ Relaxing into your seat, your mind races, remembering. ‘It’s a fusion of all the sciences really - bones and soft tissue, metal and construction. You’re not trying to resurrect - yeah, sometimes it can feel like that, but that’s not the point. We aren’t bringing someone back from the brink - we’re pushing them over the limit and ensuring they survive.’

You aren’t entirely sure when you became so hungry - for food, for life, for Yoongi - but it does not escape your attention how painfully emphatic you sound. Nothing, you think, has ever been so important for him to understand, so important for him to feel.

‘I have no interest in playing God,’ you continue, quieter now but just as determined. ‘Not the way you would in cardio or…’

‘Oncology?’

He offers it almost like a challenge, and, perhaps, on a different day, long before you truly could say you knew him, you would have felt as though there was no way to escape the unintentional insult he means to force on you. Instead, you see the way he watches you, considerate and gentle, fully aware this is not a slight at him or his choices, managing instead to leave you room to breathe in the space of accepting his statement.

‘Yeah.’ You hold his gaze, smiling as though you cannot help it, as though smiling at him is the most natural and wonderful thing - made for it, you think, made for the wonder of his pleasure. 

Yoongi smirks, watching you intently, eyes alive with something that makes him look playful and joyful, content to be sharing this moment with you; honored, if only because you decided to let him in.

‘Makes sense,’ he says with a shrug, leaning forward once more to return his attention to his pancakes.

Bewildered, you cock your head to the side. ‘What does?’

‘Why you were resentful before.’ Yoongi reaches across the table, taking the syrup from beside your glass, pouring more over his pancakes and letting it spill onto his bacon. ‘About working here.’ 

Your jaw falls open, mock offence mixing with genuine abjection. ‘It’s not that I was resentful,’ you begin, asserting that you were  neither ungrateful nor bitter. ‘It’s just hard to rationalize how badly you want to help, and how much you know could do, with the limit of your role.’

Even as you say the words, you know they are little more than platitudes you tell yourself - have been telling yourself - to rationalize the level of dejection you experienced. It seems like ages ago, moons upon moons having passed, a dying age when you accepted your stagnancy and put the blame on Yoongi, choosing him as your scapegoat simply because he took control of his life with both hands.

Cocking an eyebrow in your direction, Yoongi laughs, amused and disbelieving. Pointing a strip of bacon in your direction, he refuses you the comfort of your placating sentiments. 

‘You were resentful,’ he states plainly. 

The mischievous glimmer in his eyes is infectious, your cheeks warming with a sheepish blush that has you giggling. ‘Okay, maybe I was,’ you concede. ‘All the typing and filing is wearing out my perfect hands.’

Eyeing you through his lashes as he cuts more of his pancakes, he considers you for a long while, as though you are a mystery he is only just beginning to solve.

‘You did good,’ he says eventually, words gentle and voice full.

The genuine affection you find in the statement catches you off guard, chest tight as your heart stumbles over its natural rhythm. More and more, he has become tender - someone who offers support in the form of silence when you need to be heard; someone unafraid to give encouragement or honesty when you need it most; someone who, after everything you have seen from them, from their strength to their arrogance to their dedication, is nothing more than a boy with a heart too big to be contained in the cage of his sternum. 

Now, with the lights reflecting the neon of the diner and putting the rainbow in his blonde hair, skin pink and warm and eyes almost brutal in their kindness and their candor, Yoongi is a vision - one you do not think you will ever stop admiring.

‘You did, too,’ you murmur, cheeks hot with a blush of embarrassment. You wish you could be loud, unafraid of him hearing just how much it means to you, but softness is what he has pulled out of you, a compassion for people rather than animals you thought had vanished long ago emerging from deep within.

You want to be as confident in this expression as he is, but the fragility of your tenderness is not unlike a fawn, keeping you close to Yoongi so that you can learn. 

‘So here is what I know about you,’ he begins, biting down on his bacon strip and breaking your thoughts. ‘You’re smart, passionate, competitive as hell.’ 

‘You say that like it’s a threat,’ you laugh, cutting into your waffles, the thickness of the atmosphere diluting down to one of amicable comfort.

‘It’s not a bad thing,’ he laughs. ‘In this profession you need that edge. Life doesn’t wait.’ Swallowing, he takes a sip of his water through the straw, lips forming a soft circle that makes you melt, eyes wide and focused on yours. ‘But,’ he continues, ‘I’m still trying to make sense of you.’

Pouting, you grimace. ‘You mean you’ve spent all that time looking at me and that’s all you’ve figured out?’

Yoongi nods with an affable smile, but he does not allow you the comfort of teasing deflection. Instead, he folds his arms on the table and regards you with a tenacity that feels weighted, too heavy for the jovial, easy comfort you have found yourselves in. ‘I think that’s all you let people see.’

Had you not known him to be incisive, the direct comment might have startled you - months ago, you would have been insulted. Now, you find you have to stop yourself from swooning. In the days and weeks you have spent learning Yoongi of your own accord, he has been doing the same - only, he makes it clear he has been watching, witnessing you, and you, usually so careful and professional, find that you want him to see you. You are desperate for his eyes on you, his eyes watching you in the morning after your coffee; his eyes, studying your lips and your skin in the sun, basking in the post-surgical bliss that comes with risk; his eyes, learning the way you move when you do not know you are being watched, when you do not know that you are wanting him to watch you, or wanting him altogether.

Months ago, you’d have been upset, but now you are relieved, yet still uncertain he has done you justice. You deserve more, you think, than just idle watching. You deserve to be consumed.

‘Then,’ you begin, placing your utensils on the plate and leaning forward, mirroring his posture, ‘maybe you’re not looking hard enough.’

His eyes widen, sparkling as they take you in, his smile brilliant and combating the light - every sliver of it, natural and unnatural, demanding he power the universe. ‘Seductive,’ he announces, gleeful. ‘Like a little imp.’

Chewing the inside of your cheek, you take a slow, shaking in hale at the way he lingers on the word seductive, clinging to the S as though he is reluctant to let it go, to let you go. The world shifts on its axis in the aftermath of his sentence, and you both are aware of it. He waits for your reaction, impatient in the way his joints seem to tense around his fork, unblinking in his desire for your response. Tongue heavy against your teeth, you smile, lowering your gaze and regarding him through the thickness of your lashes, watching the pink swell of a flush creep up his neck. 

Yoongi is not ensnared but he is waiting for you to hold onto the moment, to clutch it with both your greedy fists, coming to him like the snake in Eden, ready for you to bite.

‘If only you knew,’ you offer, coquettish and dark.

Yoongi tips his head back against the seat, pleased and reassured that you are just as unforgiving in your lust and flirtation as you are in competition. A vibration has commenced in your nerves, the humming in your skin a foreboding sense of vulnerability and the expectation that these exchanges will continue - somewhere, somewhen, not in the clinic but elsewhere, created by your own accord, because you both wish them to be so. You can feel it, and you are sure he can too, though it is still young - a warm, threatening heat that whispers its demands for you both, not yet large enough to consume you.

But it will. You want it to. 

Yoongi smiles, and you smile back, letting it take root deep within your soul, its reach far more sweeping than you ever let this kind of expression reach. Yoongi smiles, and the earth moves, and nothing, you know, will ever be the same.

It continues like that for a long while, days and weeks passing with you watching Yoongi and Yoongi watching you, a silent contract that promises you will kiss one another's thoughts before you will kiss lips, these exchanges somehow more intimate and tender than the exchange of skin to skin. The clinic notices the change, the shift from rivalry to competitive understanding to a friendship that borders, tauntingly, on the barriers of romance. Your colleagues watch you both with smiles tucked into the corners of their mouths, knowing everything because you neither hide nor deny anything at all, rejoicing in the sensuality that comes from the force of finally living.

Day in and day out, you trace the bones and the bodies of the animals that come to you, the end to your service at the clinic looming ever closer, a date you deny but do not dread if only because it means you will have him, all of him exactly as you want him. There was no discussion of your eventual transition from friends to lovers, something as inevitable as the movement of the sun over the earth's horizon, but you felt it. In the way he smiled and the way he waited behind you, watchful and awed, you felt it. Somehow, some when, on a night or a day when you both felt comfortable, placated by one another's presence and more alive than you had ever felt simply because he was at your side, you both had decided it would be so.

But not yet.

For a long while, you hold hands through your surgical gloves, fingers touching fingers for the briefest of moments, only to break apart as quickly as you had come together, choosing the airs of professionalism over the airs of romance; evenings spent beneath his parent's peach trees, reading medical books and medical research, pretending your toes do not touch, that the warmth on your skin is from the blanket and not from his skin. In those moments, he is pink - pink as the blossoms and pink as your blush, breathing in unison and waiting, almost too impatiently, for the thrill of being young and being in lust.

The danger of these feelings is that they always feel immortal, immune to the wear and tear of life itself, a blessing that endures. In these sentiments, you are invincible - but the are dangerous because they are more fragile than your own soft tissue, than the supple muscle of your beating heart. They are dangerous because they always end, and when they end, you are always left bereft.

It ends on the hottest day of the summer, mid-day in August with the sun high in the sky and no clouds to cover it. Yoongi had come to work early, the air conditioning of his apartment broken and the sweat on his neck lingering in a tantalizing shimmer. You watch him scribble notes from a medical lecture onto a thick pad of paper from your seat at your newly earned desk in Dr. Hague's office, a small table with a computer and too many charts and notes scattered across it to be remotely organized, too warm to focus.

You are meant to be writing a pathology report for a cat with a broken femur; you are meant to be running labs and inputting charts for Dr. Hague's review. And you will, you tell yourself you will, but only after you memorize the way the contour of Yoongi's cheek seems to catch the light, golden and bronze and almost too ethereal to belong to man.

The phone to Dr. Hague's office rings, making both you and Yoongi jump. He laughs at himself, sheepish, and you laugh with him, though something in this moment makes your stomach drop, your skin slick now with a sense of dread that refuses to leave you. If he feels it too, Yoongi does not let on, reaching for the phone with a confident hand that does not shake as he pulls it to his ear. It's almost inevitable, the way you start to grieve, though you are unsure why the sadness in your chest has begun to spawn like spores. You are grieving, but for what you cannot tell, you can only sense that you are supposed to by the way Yoongi's brows furrow and his lips drop into a frown, cascading downward, almost sauntering lower alongside the trajectory of your heart, before he expresses his acknowledgement and hangs up the phone.

Without a word, he drops his notepad to his deserted chair and moves past you, knowing you will follow hot on his heels, and you do, rising after him with fire in your veins and an ache in your chest, knowing. Somehow, knowing.

In the clinic waiting room, Talia sits with Casper at her feet, pale and lost. Eyes downcast, she is dark, gaze unfocused as she breathes almost too quietly, so far away from you and this moment she does not lift her head on your approach. You and Yoongi halt your steps by the reception desk, simply watching. Hands fisted at your sides, you feel as though you knew, as though you might have always known that they would be back, that somehow it would be different - another day, another war, another reminder that you are human and humans are not meant to solve the problems of mortality.

It's Dr. Hague who breaks the silence, moving past you and Yoongi with somber footsteps as he calls her name. Talia raises her head, eyes no longer simply dark but wet, attempting a hopeful smile as she rises to her feet.

Before she speaks, you know what she will say, certain you do not want to hear it and, conversely, certain that you must. It will be the fire, you think, the fire that will insight another battle out of you, another way to win the day and, perhaps, even the war.

'The vet,' she manages, voice broken and uneven and so terribly small. 'They said his cancer came back. It's in a different part of his leg...worse now, I guess.'

Her words leave you bitter, as though you have been pressed and completely released of your youthful, jovial glow. In the aftermath, you are hardened and battle-born, angry and lost, the tears threatening to burn at your eyes because you saved him. You saved him once and you will do it again, the sheer force of this sentiment vibrating down through your joints, your fingers, deep into the atoms of your blood. You saved him and you will do so again.

The very nature of your will is unflinching, uncompromising as you take a deep inhale, readying yourself. Turning to your side, you expect to see Yoongi, the blood beneath his skin ablaze with the same relentless passion for victory, but he is not there. At your side, there is nothing, just the long tails of his lab coat as he departs from the room altogether.

Bereft, he departs from the clinic with ferocious speed, your own tongue running dry as you struggle to fathom words and reason for his sudden absence. Talia looks to the door, your eyes meeting at this central point, bewildered yet somehow unified in understanding. If she could leave her skin, departing from this moment with a completeness that leaves no discernible trace, you imagine she would. And so it is unfair, you think, for Yoongi to have the liberty of escape.

Gingerly, you follow him, reminded of the day when he followed you, orbiting around you in the evening sun as he watched and waited. The difference, you suppose, is not the circumstance as much as it is the timing. He gave you space, distance, minutes with just yourself to collect and gather your thoughts; and so you are too soon, almost cruel in your interruption. It washes over you, the understanding that to feel something, anything, is a pain that defies the simplicity of language but to be witnessed in the state of that emotion is an act of unmaking, an unforgiving vulnerability.

But right now, you need him just the same as he likely needs you; consumed, at once, with the need to remind him that the experience of defeat only matters in the actions you take in the aftermath.

Crouched against the back of the clinic, Yoongi holds his head in his hands and trembles, small and shy, defenseless as though he naked and raw. You approach him cautiously, footsteps careful as you train your eyes on the curve of his back, catlike and poised to withdraw at a moment’s notice. He looks as distraught and desperate as you feel, gripped by the fear and the remorse - the magnitude and the full breadth of it - as he takes long inhales, demanding that the air itself grows claws within him. 

Stepping forward, a twig snaps beneath the soles of your shoes and he bristles, aware that he is no longer alone. Your gaze departs from him, searching other points of interest, sheepish as you bite the inside of your cheek. The silence is deafening, the breeze refusing to rustle the leaves and the birds refusing to sing. Time moves slowly in this space, inching ever forward and yet you seem detached from it, waiting and waiting and waiting.

‘I know it’s wrong,’ he announces suddenly, alarmingly clear toned for a man so broken. ‘It makes me a bad doctor.’

Softening, you are drawn to his side, leaning back against the clinic as you keep your eyes forward, not wanting to upset him further should your presence be a discomfort. ‘What does?’

‘Attachment,’ he spits, resentful that the very concept could exist. ‘In oncology we learn it in year one. You don’t get attached. You’re not God. You can’t save every animal. This kind of thinking will do you in.’ 

‘Then,’ you try, keeping your voice low and soothing, ‘why this dog? Because it was special?’

Yoongi shakes his head. You can hear the rustle of his hair as he moves, the sound making your chest constrict in affection.

‘It’s not just this dog,’ he retorts sharply.

‘No?’

‘It’s every dog.’ Behind the bitterness and distress, you hear the truth - the anguish of heart that knows too much benevolence, too much affection; the pressure of a heart too willing to love. ‘Every dog and every cat and every rabbit. Each time, I love them.’

‘You have to love them, Yoongi.’ Lowering your gaze to his crouched form, you keep your words calm and even though their meaning is tenacious in its ardent determination. ‘You have to love them enough to take the risk, and you have to love them enough to do what’s morally right - even if that means letting them go.’ 

‘I know it’s stupid.’ He continues, as though he did not hear you at all, as though you had not spoken. ‘Day one, they say it will make you a terrible doctor. Thinking like this will break you before your career even starts.’ Rising to a stand, he wipes his palms over absent creases in his trousers before he, too, leans against the clinic, arms folded and chin tucked against his chest. ‘Want to know the truth?’

‘Tell me.’

‘I think human doctors have it easier,’ he explains. ‘You’re not going to love every patient. Some are assholes, and some aren’t very good people. Hell, depending on the case you might not want them to live - they might be a goddamn criminal.’

‘It’s easy not to get attached to people,’ you agree with a nod. 

‘Fuck, I don’t even like people very much.’ At this he turns to you, worried and wide eyed, uncertainty tainting his features. He looks to you as though you can help him understand, pleading and so endearingly lost. ‘I don’t do this,’ he whispers. ‘Letting people in…,’ his voice fades as he turns away again, walling off one fear for the next. ‘You don’t get that choice with animals,’ he continues, clear toned and persistent. ‘No animal exists or acts out of bad intentions.’

Looking out over the horizon, you watch the early afternoon sun cast its golden rays over the grass, dappling the field. Something in this experience for him is two-fold, the fear of risk wrapping itself around separate, yet not altogether innocuous, events and ensuring they can no longer be parted. A smile pulls at your cheeks, bemused that you had been learning to trust and breathe through the same fear as he, learning to surrender to someone other than yourself. 

And so you offer the same lessons to him, if only because you find the easiest way to fight your battles is by looking in the mirror. 

‘I don’t think this is stupid.’

‘No?’ he breathes, turning to face you once again. ‘Because I’ve not even started yet, and I can already feel it ending.’

You’re unsure if he is referring to his feelings for you or his career, though you are confident it does not matter. All risk is risk, regardless of the direction. 

‘It’s not stupid,’ you repeat, shaking your head. ‘It’s human. I don’t think any vet truly understands why someone becomes a people doctor. People suck.’

You finish with a shrug of your shoulders, a non-committal sign of agreement you hope informs him that people do suck, but he is the exclusion. Always the exclusion.

At this, Yoongi laughs, casting his gaze downward to his feet as his tell-tale blush wanders across his neck and into his ears. Encouraged, you continue.

‘Even the worst animal has a reason for being, well, the worst,’ you explain. ‘Lots of times, it’s people who made them that way. People and their bad habits and their neglect and their inability to understand or care.’

Sidelong, he looks at you through the curtain of his eyelashes, lips pulling into a small grin that gives your heart wings. ‘I see this furthers your point that people suck.’

‘It does,’ you giggle, unable to help yourself and the way you softly swoon at the sight of him, boyish and young and learning to try. ‘But that’s not my main point.’

‘Then what’s your point.’ 

‘My point is…’ Your words fade, carefully choosing your words, aware that this is the pinnacle, the moment between now and tomorrow, the moment of change that ensures everything is different. And you, just as guarded and so full to the brim, ready to learn to love, tell yourself you are prepared. This is for you as much as it is for Casper as it is for him. ‘We learn this too, but in Ortho we call it something different. For us, it’s failure to rescue. For us, it’s not about who failed less or who failed more. It’s merely who rescued more, that’s the separation. In surgery, things will go wrong - you cannot take a risk without the probability of failure, otherwise it isn’t a risk. You have to be ready for it, the failure, because it is naturally inevitable. The difference between triumph and defeat, rescue and failure to rescue, is what you do after it.’

Yoongi regards you intently, eyes glimmering not unlike the sun at dawn, watching you with enough attentive vigilance you feel valuable, important, the single most important thing in his small universe at this moment. It’s an odd feeling, the knowledge and acceptance that you matter, that you matter and that you are wanted. The world spins, and you feel it, the lightheaded dizziness that comes from the motion of things rather than the lack making you root your feet to the earth, emboldened.

‘Obviously, you continue, chest full and impassioned, ‘you became a vet to save animals, we all did, but this is the moment you take to heart and try to rescue again. And when you get like this...you have to talk about it with somebody.’

‘Ugh,’ he groans with a soft chuckle. ‘People.’

‘With me,’ you offer, leaning to nudge his shoulder with yours, watching as he tucks his bottom lip between his teeth. The very sight warms your blood, heat wandering down your spine and into your core.‘I wouldn’t say I’m people.’

‘Oh, right,’ he nods, the flirtatious candor in his voice just as raw as his emotions. ‘A person.’

‘I’m serious!’ you laugh, allowing yourself the moment of mock offence and amorous teasing. ‘What do you normally do, go home and drink the night away to forget this?’

‘Well,’ he nods with a grimace, ‘you’re not wrong. Can’t usually forget though. I remember every single one I’ve failed.’

Reaching forward, you take a hold of his right hand, letting your thumb graze over the knuckles. It’s so unlike you, so unlike your careful distance and professional stoicism, but the risk of it is a thrill that sends an electric shock up your arm, breath shuddering in your lungs at the feel of his soft skin. Almost immediately, his grip tightens over yours, holding what he can of you with an unwavering stare, demanding that you feel just as much, that you feel just as vulnerable and exposed. Like this, you let the pad of your thumb explore the ever warming expanse of his hand, learning the smooth texture until you are certain, if demanded, you could remember and explain it in such detail all the world would feel it too.

‘Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?’ he murmurs, breaking the moment with a shallow breath.

Cocking your head to the side, you smile impishly, just as he knew you were, and are, all those weeks ago. ‘What, that your heart is the size of a house?’

‘I meant that I cried,’ he laughs, ‘but yeah, that too.’

Breaking from his hold, you turn to lead him back to the clinic, grinning as you offer him a wink. ‘One of those secrets is safe with me, but I won’t tell you which one.’

‘Wait!’

Yoongi reaches for you once more, pulling with such force that you collide into him with a huff. He’s faster than you, somehow three steps ahead and prepared, holding your face with both hands as he presses his lips to yours, skilled and soft and ensuring his gratitude cascades down and down into your soul. Instinctively, your arms wind around his neck, fingers coming to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss as you step closer, close enough you’re certain there is no air between your chests, certain that it would not dare separate you. He hums against your lips, a deep roll of thunder through your opens that has you opening for him, his tongue dipping in for one brief caress against yours before he departs entirely, separating, once more, as though he had not been there at all.

But you feel him. Oh, do you feel him.

Catching your breath, you lose yourself in the honey of his gaze, waiting for the rhythm of your heart to return to its normal pace. But you do not relinquish your hold, and nor does he let you go, both of you gripping one another as though seeking purchase during a fall.

‘I’ll keep both those secrets,’ you whisper, lips still wet and tingling with the force of him, ‘if you come back in and find a way to help Casper.’

Yoongi smiles, a wide gummy expression that makes you feel, yes, you are indeed falling. ‘Deal.’