#Irish Humor

[rendakuenthusiast]

I was amused by this Irish joke in this book of jokes from 1906.

[the-august-one]

Irish people taking the piss out of each other is the funniest shit ever.

"I like how much you like me."

[tmarshconnors]

50 Irish Proverbs.

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything."

"May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door."

"A friend's eye is a good mirror."

"May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."

"The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune."

"It's easy to halve the potato where there's love."

"A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea."

"When the cat is away, the mice will play."

"God made time, but man made haste."

"A light heart lives long."

"A change of work is as good as a rest."

"Wisdom is the comb given to a man after he has lost his hair."

"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest."

"You’ll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind."

"Continual cheerfulness is a sign of wisdom."

"Time is a great storyteller."

"It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life."

"Put silk on a goat, and it’s still a goat."

"If you want an audience, start a fight."

"Experience is the comb that life gives a bald man."

"A little fire that warms is better than a big fire that burns."

"Beauty doesn’t boil the kettle."

"A man who holds good cards would never say if they were dealt wrong."

"It’s no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking."

"A silent mouth is sweet to hear."

"If you lie down with dogs, you’ll rise with fleas."

"Many a ship is lost within sight of the harbour."

"The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot."

"Two people shorten the road."

"The longest road out is the shortest road home."

"Don’t be breaking your shin on a stool that’s not in your way."

"It is often that a person’s mouth broke his nose."

"There is no luck except where there is discipline."

"Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat."

"The well-fed does not understand the lean."

"Better fifty enemies outside the house than one within."

"The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely."

"If you do not sow in the spring, you will not reap in the autumn."

"Patience and perseverance overcome the greatest difficulties."

"Where the tongue slips, it speaks the truth."

"A little bit of bread with peace is better than a feast with strife."

"A lie has no legs."

"It is not a secret if it is known by three people."

"Beware of the anger of a patient man."

"Every man is sociable until a cow invades his garden."

"There’s no need to fear the wind if your haystacks are tied down."

"Bricks and mortar make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home."

"A wren in the hand is better than a crane to be caught."

"You must take the little potato with the big potato."

"The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey."

[crazycatsiren]

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[uniquinpaints]

(via ""I'm not Irish but I drink like I am - Beer Splash Design"" Sticker for Sale by uniQuin)

[thisdrinkinglife]

Becky wants her school knocked down!! Irish wit!

[kevinpsb00]

I am a member of Toastmasters and had to do a speech, and I'm on the Engaging Humor Pathway and this speech focused on 'Know Your Sense of Humor'. I titled my speech "Humor in a Cup of Tea" about humor and jokes in Ireland and my family visits there when I was kid. It was also about St. Patrick and my thoughts on the holiday. What made it work was that I was able to do the entire six speech in an Irish Accent, specifically a Northern Irish accent. This redo of the speech here isn't as good, but doing in front of people live actually turned out better than I expected. People laughed, Wow. I can be funny. ;) #Toastmasters #Toastmasters4Writers #Speech #Humor #Irish #StPatricksDay #StPatrick #SaintPatrick #Ireland #NorthernIreland #TheTroubles #IrishAccent #NorthernIrishAccent #Acting #VoiceActing #VoiceActor #VoiceOver #VoiceOverArtist #Ulster #UlsterFry #Tea #Shamrock #greenbeer #green

[big-edies-sun-hat]

“And Granny was very upset, and she says to me, right, away you go, out of the village …”

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[harrywavycurly]

I love every single one of you and just remember if you ever feel alone, don’t.

[fairweathermyth]

Is Kai-Ming dead? I don't know. She was in the bathroom, and Eleanor went in to check on her. So, uh, by the time I could check, they were both gone.

BLACK DOVES 1.05 ⌁ The Cost of it All

[binabadaboom]

Rereading Dracula, and without fail, every time, I am shocked at JHs naivety in Bistritz before meeting the count.

“Everyone looks at me so wistfully, almost as if they pity me, and my hosts have pleaded and begged me not to go, the wife going as far to give me her personal rosary. Gee I wonder what all that is about. Now it’s time to head off to this obviously cursed and terrifying castle. (Mem. to ask the count about these strange legends of ordog-devil and pokol-hell and stregoica-witch and vrolok-vampire, surely he knows where these silly little superstitions started)”

Like bruhh you really working hard to be this oblivious

[krumpkin]

Happy Saint Patrick's Day 🥳🥳🥳🥳😁😁

[cherryishappy]

Writers: the only beings who do shit like learn a dying language because they want one of their characters to sound cool.

[driveintheaterofthemind]

Vintage Magazine - The New Yorker (June22nd1957)

Art by Charles Addams

[sgt-toasted-bug]

Was at the grocery store and saw a certain brand of soap and it made me think of if Johnny and Simon had to spend time in Canada and buy a bar of Soap. Simon, thinking he was a comedian, bought a certain brand just to piss Johnny off.

Soap, from the bathroom: Uhm, Simon! There's something weird in the bathroom!

Ghost (knowing full well what it is): Really? What is it?

Soap, holding up a box of Irish Spring soap: An' what the hell do ya think you're playin' at then?

Ghost: I haven't a clue what you're talking about, Johnny.

*Meanwhile in the common room.*

Gaz: Captain, do you hear that screaming?

Price: Don't mind it, Gaz. Ghost just bought some toiletries.

Gaz: I don't see why-

Price: He said it was for the leprechaun.

Gaz: Oh.