#Merlin's book reports

[waykeeper-girl]

Review of Notes from underground: ★★★★★

one can generally trust me to not be terribly moved by a book. regardless of the quality of a novel, I am simply not a particularly effected person.

so when I tell you that I sobbed while reading Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, I mean it with my full chest.

This novel is about a strange old man with a terrible problem, he is so bloody anxious that he cannot properly connect with his peers. this leads to strange obsessions with being seen and respected by others, as well an internal refusal to every allow himself to be accepted.

our nameless narrator would led us to believe that all he associates with are terrible bastards, but they are simply regular people - his old classmates, his servant, his coworkers. In order to avoid the possibility of admitting of social vulnerability, or perhaps because he feels he does not deserve kindess - our man pushes all away.

this cycle is cold, and you can do nothing by turn the page as he burns down each new relationship. this is what broke me - never have I felt so seen within a character - and to have it be someone created by an old man from 18th C russia. oh dear me, I couldn't handle it.

The prose is beautiful and simplistic. our narrator is an intelligent and literary man, and within the first-person narration, he speaks too us directly. I believe that this would be a fantastic place to start with Dos, or Russian lit in general, as the language is not difficult - at least not in my translation, by Andrew R MacAndrews. (please do tell me if there are preferred translations I should seek out!).

It's a little over 100 pages, but packed with action, emotion, and that Dostoyevsky magic. (how I love him). Underground also allows Dostoyevsky to examine his impressive understanding of female characters - something you see less in this era. There is an understanding of mutual melancholia between sexes.

"Love is a divine mystery and must be hidden from the eyes of the world, as must whatever takes place between lovers. They have respect, for each takes place between lovers."

This narrative was not made to comfort you. perhaps it is a cautionary tale, perhaps it is just one man screaming out, trying to find companionship. Perhaps it is like the narrator tells us, at the end, "We're still born and for a long time we've been brought into the world by parents who are dead themselves; and we like it better and better. we're developing a taste for it, so to speak. soon we'll invent a way to be begotten by ideas all together."

there is a reason I can only manage a few Dostoyevsky a year.

[chronurgy]

Yay my hold on The Coast Road finally came in!! So excited to read it

[viperify]

1k celebration | ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍɪᴄ ʀɪᴠᴀʟ!ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

✧₊⁺ Prefect’s Orders.

Short Summary: Tom doesn’t quite appreciate you consulting someone else for tutoring lessons. He could help you way better, right?

Warnings: 18+ only! dubious consent. jealousy, semi public sex, rough sex, unprotected p in v, slight blood play, creampie, edging, orgasm denial. barely proofread. I am half asleep.

A/N: this is for @poetry-beauty-love-writez’s request!! For some reason it didn’t want to let me answer your ask and it’s getting late so I figured I’d just tag u! Thank you so much for requesting and your sweet words babe!!! I hope you’ll like this :33 also u r not jobless for req. u r acc hilarious lmao

wordcount: 2,5k (🫠)

It’s not that he had intended to walk past you that evening. However, hearing your voice from the back of the library, softer than usual—and unmistakably joined by another male—sparked his interest. He was a prefect after all, responsible for order.

The library was not part of his responsibilites, no, that wasn’t his job at all—rather the librarian’s, who didn’t necessarily appreciate students mixing into what she considered to be her business. Still, this evening he felt a strange obligation to help where he could—and what would be better than to dissolve a possible distraction, right?

He had never really cared about the library, not until now. But what could you possibly be laughing about the whole time? It was starting to bother him. And the sound of your voice, sweet like honey, not laced with venom whenever he talked to you, had an unwanted effect on him—the fabric of his trousers strained over the very visible dent that had formed.

For Merlin’s sake.

He shut the book in front of him with a sigh, and slowly turned his head to look around him—as he had expected, there weren’t many students around, not at this time. It was dead silent as well—until another soft giggle disturbed the peace. Tom sat still for a moment, trying to identify the voice of the guy accompanying you.

A Hufflepuff, he figured. He recognized the voice instantly. It was the same guy he handed two detention slips in the past week.

Oh, this was going to be good.

He packed up, returning the books to where he took them from and gathered his supplies. Fixed his tie, casually tucked his hands into his pockets and crossed the library with unhurried steps—following your voice.

Tom could see the both of you now from where he was walking—and he had been right, it was him.

Perfect.

“It’s half an hour past curfew. You have again failed to follow the rules.” Tom remarked, voice cold as ice as he stared at Haywood, stopping in front of the desk where you two had been working—or not working.

Your guard snapped up immediately as you spotted Slytherin’s prefect in the dim light of the library at the late hour.

You had paid the Hufflepuff for tutoring lessons so you could catch up on what you had missed. Tom and you had been rivals ever since you started Hogwarts—and over time, every single exam became a competition. So, you decided to ask for help of one of the few people who could even keep up with the both of you—a Hufflepuff student.

You scoffed. This idiot. Everyone knew that curfew was pushed back an hour during exam season. Whatever he was up to—he did it to bother you. As always.

“It’s exam season. You, as a prefect, should know that.” You snapped at him, but he didn’t even spare you a glance.

“For students who fail to follow the rules year-round, this does not apply—or has your boyfriend not informed you about how he got caught sneaking around past curfew twice this past week alone?” Tom sighed, eyes still locked on the guy next to you. “If he doesn’t comply now, I will have to report him to the headmaster. Which would be a shame, really.”

Your face burned the instant Tom assumed Haywood to be your boyfriend. Boyfriend. Who did he think he was? Even if he were your boyfriend—that was none of his business.

“I don’t think—“ you started, voice laced with anger—but Haywood stopped you, already packing his bag. “I am sorry! Don’t worry, I will leave. It’s really not a big deal.” He said quickly, getting up from beside you and hurrying away. “Sorry again, Riddle!”

It worked. Of course it did.

Did he just make up a new rule to have you for himself? Maybe. However, by the looks of how angry you were—totally worth it.

It definitely did not help the visible bulge in his trousers—in fact, it only made it worse.

Before you got the chance to leave, he sat down beside you, practically trapping you between him and the wall on the other side.

“I am not scared of you, Riddle. You had no fucking right.” You sneered, aggressively stuffing your textbooks into your schoolbag. Just like he had done before, you didn’t look at him.

Venom. 

Hm. Perhaps he did like the sound of your voice when you were angry.

“You know, if you had just asked me for tutoring sessions, you wouldn’t have to waste your time with some random guy.”

You were so close to lashing out on him. He always acted like this around you, as though he knew exactly what would make you lose your temper. Because that’s what he wanted—make you feel pathetic and weak.

“And you aren’t just a random guy?” You snorted, trying to find a way out of the situation you were in—but except for crawling across the floor, there wasn’t really anything you could do.

As always, Tom didn’t pay your question any attention. “What business does he have sitting so close? He is trying to seduce you, nothing else.”

Then, it clicked. Great Tom Riddle was bothered by another guy actually caring about you. Interesting.

“Careful, you are starting to sound jealous.”

He raised a brow at the word. Jealous? Merlin, what a word to throw around. He was anything but jealous. How could you even think—

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Very convincing answer, you thought to yourself, rolling your eyes at him. You definitely hadn’t noticed the redness on his face, or the, at this point painfully obvious dent tightening the fabric of his uniform. Maybe, if he had been just a little bit nicer… you would have helped him out. 

Hypothetically.

Tom was handsome, you couldn’t deny it. A dream if he wasn’t an obnoxious asshole whenever he interacted with you. Your friends loved to tease you how your rivalry with Tom was so “hot” and he “definitely found you attractive”. 

Even if he did, his way of showing affection was more than questionable.

“You're too good at acting innocent. I'm not falling for it anymore.” You muttered, finally managing to shove past him, almost tripping—but a firm hand wrapped around your wrist, steadying you.

How he had gotten up so quickly, you didn’t know—but the next second, he had you pressed against the nearest bookshelf, hand tight around your throat, rough edges of the wood biting into your shoulder and back. He stared at you for just a split second—and there was fire behind his eyes. Desperation. Hunger. Want. Everything at once.

Then, his lips crashed onto yours—capturing you in a fiery kiss that left you breathless when you broke apart, lungs burning from the lack of oxygen.

He softened his grip then slightly, just so you could breathe—though making sure to keep you still. His lips lifted into a condescending grin when his eyes roamed over your smaller figure—hair messy, lips swollen, thighs trembling. Just how he had wanted you for years.

“We shouldn’t— not here, Riddle.” You breathed, trying to keep silent as to not draw attention towards the both of you. If you got caught— your reputation—

He shushed you, leaning in again, stopping mere millimetres from your lips. “You are mine, do you understand? Mine to touch, mine to kiss, mine to fucking ruin.”

In his wildest dreams, perhaps. And you did want to tell him that—but as soon as his hand made contact with your thigh, a ghost of a touch really, only his fingertips trailing over your heated skin—your brain short-circuited. The complaint got stuck in your throat. 

Up, higher, just a little further—until he reached the hem of your skirt, and scoffed.

“Chose the shortest one in your entire wardrobe, didn’t you?” He mocked, hand slipping underneath the thin fabric. “And here I thought you cared about school rules.”

At this point he was playing with you. Like a predator toying with his prey.

“Dumb little girl,” he tsked, his breath hot on your cheek. “I would hate to give you detention for this. Got something to offer?”

That bastard.

A scowl crept onto your face. “Fuck you, Riddle.”

“That will work.” He grinned at your words, and only then did you realise what you just said. Before you could take it back, his lips were one yours once more.

And God— when his fingers slipped underneath the lace of your panties, hooking into the flimsy material and slowly easing them down your thighs—you could no longer keep the moan in you had held ever since he first kissed you.

As soon as they dropped to the floor, his hand was between your thighs again—inching towards your center, ever so slowly. So slowly, you almost begged him to speed up.

He granted you your wish. His middle finger circling your clit, making you shudder—before he dipped between your folds, teasing back and forth, pressing against your entrance, just enough to make you gasp and writhe beneath his touch—though never actually pushing inside.

You tried everything—arch your back, rock your hips on his hand. Nothing worked—he continued his ministrations, slow and deliberate, teasing you. Looking at you, gaze sharp and eyes darkened at the sight of you falling apart on his fingers.

Merlin, you were so easy.

Just when it started feeling good, he pulled away. You opened your mouth to object, but he used the opportunity to slip his finger into your warm mouth, pressing down on your tongue. 

“Spread your legs and tase yourself for me, sweetheart.” He purred, voice low and intimate. You obeyed, of course you did. Too far gone to draw back now, too worked up to want anything but him.

Fuck.

“Good girl,” Tom breathed, gently withdrawing from your mouth.

“He would have fucked me already.” You teased him, tired of waiting—and this time, it seemed to work. Tom spun you around, fingers digging into the curves of your hips, and flipped your skirt up in one smooth motion. “Still can’t behave. Pathetic.”

You barely got to catch your breath before he lined himself up with your entrance—tip thick and flushed, leaking a bead of precum.

He had wanted to take it easy on you. But now, his plan changed.

 “Keep your voice down. Or don't. Let them hear.” He sneered, and thrust forward—a quick motion, not giving you any chance to adjust until his hips were flush with yours. God, you had underestimated him. He was bigger than you thought—the sudden stretch on your walls knocking the air from your lungs.

So perfectly tight, wrapped snugly around his cock. So warm. So wet. He withdrew inch after inch, making you feel just how much you were taking—and snapped his hips forward once more—another sharp gasp escaping your lips.

When he found a rhythm—deep and sharp thrusts, pace merciless, a fistful of your hair in his hand to pull your head backwards—you swear you saw stars right in front of your eyes. Each thrust of his hips pushed you against the creaking bookshelf.

His cock slammed into you again and again, pace never faltering. So deep, he kissed your cervix just the right way—pleasure and pain bleeding into one, sending shockwaves straight to your core. And even if you hated to admit it—your orgasm was in reach. The knot in your lower stomach coiling tighter and tighter, walls clenching around his invading length.

A deep, low sound somewhere from the back of his throat left his lips as you did.

“Look at me when I make you feel good.” Tom growled, grabbing your face as his fingers dug into your cheeks. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

You did—and the expression on his face was exquisite. Lips swollen and slightly parted, eyebrows drawn together, enough to form a crease. Curls stuck to his damp forehead, all dishevelled. And his eyes—a storm, one that draws you right in—one that you wish you could survive. 

But you still hated him. For ruining your evening. God, for seducing you in a library with people around. Why was it so damn easy for him to get anything he wanted?

“You are such a smart ass. Act like you own the entire school—fuck—“ you managed between sharp breaths, trying to keep yourself steady—an awfully hard task.

“You love it.” He replied. All smug and condescending. 

You gasped when his palm connected with your ass, leaving behind a stinging feeling. 

“I— dont.” 

With a hand over your mouth, he slammed into you harder, faster. Fingers gripping your hips so tightly, you were sure they would leave bruises for days to come. At this point, you were biting down on your lips so hard, you tasted blood—anything to keep yourself quiet while he abused your walls.

He knew you were close—and you did too, by the way his rhythm faltered, cock twitching inside of you. But then, with his hips flush against yours, tip pressing uncomfortably at your cervix—he stopped.

“Sounded so sweet when it was just him and you. You think you can do that for me?” He rasped, breathing heavily against the soft curve of your shoulder. “Use that pretty voice to beg? Beg me to make you cum and feel good?”

You shook your head no. “I am not— begging you, Riddle. Not in this lifetime.”

He scoffed. That’s all you got before he thrust into you once more—this time clearly with a different goal in mind. Pulling you back against him, fucking you how he liked it. And just a minute later, after a few more deep thrusts—his hips stuttered against yours, and with a low groan he spilled inside of you, painting your walls white with his release.

You were so close—and he knew. Turning you around, his fingers dipped to your swollen clit, swirling his fingers just right—until you were at the very edge, legs trembling, eyes rolled to the back of your head.

Then, he kissed you. Intimate, fierce. Tasting your blood on his lips.

Just as you were about to tip over, fingers tingling and toes curling in anticipation—he stopped, withdrawing his hand.

“Riddle, don’t you dare—“ you warned him, trying to keep your voice down, holding onto his wrist.

“Learn to beg, and you get to cum. Simple rule.” He grinned, fixing his tie and dressing himself. “And remember to stay away from that Hufflepuff. You are mine.”

He was gone before you could properly react. Left you behind with your blouse halfway unbuttoned, tie loosened, hair a mess and your panties—

Where did they go?

thank you for reading! feel free to reblog and leave feedback <3 — masterlist. | 1k celebration. <- masterlist

©2025 viperify. please do not copy, translate or claim my work as your own.

[evermoreness]

if you wrote somethin about flirting with boyfriend remus and he slips his hands in ur back pockets…..just sayin i’d love you forever

— Anon, you gave me such good ideas! Here it is, hope you like it.

back pocket | remus lupin

pairing: remus lupin x reader

summary: your boyfriend doesn't like much public displays of affection, but he still likes to put his hand in your back pocket.

obs: feel free to send any requests!

masterlist

Hogsmeade weekends had always been something special. The crisp autumn air, the scent of butterbeer wafting from the Three Broomsticks, the distant chatter of students wandering from shop to shop—it was all perfect. But nothing made it better than having Remus by your side.

You and Remus walked side by side down the cobbled streets, the occasional brush of your shoulders sending warmth through you. He wasn’t one for grand displays of affection—no dramatic kisses in the middle of the street, no loud proclamations. But the way he loved you was in the small things.

Like now, when he casually slipped his hand into the back pocket of your jeans as you strolled past Zonko’s Joke Shop. It was such a simple gesture, but it made your heart stutter. He wasn’t even looking at you when he did it—just talking to you about some book he wanted to pick up at Tomes and Scrolls—but the touch was grounding, warm, undeniably intimate.

It was casual, effortless—just his fingertips resting in the fabric, his palm warm against you. Yet, the simplicity of it made your heart swell. Remus had never been one for grand displays of affection. He wasn’t the type to kiss you in the middle of the Great Hall or pull you onto his lap in front of the Marauders. But he had his own ways of showing love.

Like this.

Like the way he always made sure to walk on the outside of the path, keeping you away from the street, even if it meant switching sides every few minutes.

Like how he always carried your books when you were too tired, even if he already had a pile of his own.

Like how he always saved you a seat next to him, no matter where you were—class, the common room, the library.

Like the way he looked at you, like you were something rare, something he couldn’t believe was his.

You turned your head slightly, just enough to catch the soft flush creeping up his neck. "Smooth, Lupin," you teased, grinning.

He didn’t falter, just raised an eyebrow at you. "Oh? You don’t like it?"

You hummed, pretending to think. "Didn’t say that, did I?"

His lips curled into a smirk, and he gave a gentle squeeze where his hand rested. "Good."

You nodded, leaning in slightly. "Hand in the back pocket, Lupin. That’s practically scandalous."

He chuckled, his grip tightening just the slightest bit. "Then I suppose I’m becoming reckless in my old age."

Unfortunately, moments of peace like these never lasted when the Marauders were around.

"Oi, Moony!" Sirius’ voice rang out, followed by his loud, obnoxious laughter. "Hand in the back pocket? Really? Are you two in a bloody romance novel?"

"Merlin’s beard," James groaned beside him, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "That’s even worse than when Lily and I hold hands in class."

"Nothing is worse than that, Prongs," Peter chimed in, looking between you and Remus with amusement.

Remus, however, remained completely unfazed. He barely even glanced at them as he continued walking, his hand still comfortably in your pocket. "If you lot are so interested in my love life, I could give you a very detailed report of my last few dates. Would you like that?"

Sirius gagged. "Absolutely not."

Peter chimed in. "Yes!"

James scrunched his nose. "Ew! What exactly is wrong with you, wormtail?"

"I'm just saying" Peter shrugged while the others laughed about it.

"Hey, baby" Lily appeared out of nowhere, hugging James. "Hey, everyone" She said, turning to give each one a little wave. James definitely lit up just by having her there.

"Lily, my love, finally!" James dramatized, kissing her cheek.

Sirius groaned dramatically. "Ugh, please, can you two flirt somewhere else?"

You grinned. "Oh, don’t be jealous, Black."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I would never be jealous of such a boring couple."

"Then shut up," Remus said simply, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

"You’re both still gross," Sirius muttered.

"And you’re still single," Remus shot back, making you laugh.

James doubled over laughing, and Remus let out a quiet chuckle, his thumb grazing against your hip through the fabric of your robe. You shivered, not from the cold, but from the simple touch of it, the way he always seemed to know how to make you feel warm even in the autumn air.

"You want to go inside?" he asked softly, tilting his head toward the Three Broomsticks.

You nodded, and just like that, he guided you toward the door, his hand slipping away from your pocket only to rest at the small of your back. Another small thing. Another gesture that said more than words ever could.

The Three Broomsticks was crowded as usual, but the six of you managed to grab a corner booth. James and Lily sat pressed together on one side, while Sirius dramatically sprawled out beside Peter. You and Remus took the other side, you had to sit in his lap since there was absolutely no space left, your back comfortably against his chest as you both sipped your butterbeer.

"You do realize you’re using me as a chair, right?" Remus murmured, though his arms around you suggested he didn’t mind.

"You’re comfortable," you replied simply, tilting your head up to grin at him.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "You’re impossible."

"And yet, you love me," you teased.

Remus smiled against the rim of his mug. "That I do."

Lily, who had been watching with an affectionate smile, turned to James. "See? Why can’t you be that sweet?"

James put a hand to his chest in mock offense. "Lily, love, I am a dream boyfriend."

"You’re an overgrown Golden Retriever," she corrected, though she was smiling.

Sirius snickered. "He really is. I bet if you threw a stick, he’d fetch it."

"You lot are just jealous of my charm," James declared.

"Of course, Prongs," Remus said, completely deadpan. "That must be it."

Lily leaned her head on James’ shoulder, laughing softly. "He’s lucky he’s cute."

"See?" James beamed. "She admits it."

The evening passed in comfortable warmth, laughter mixing with the hum of the crowded pub. You and Remus shared quiet smiles, your fingers tangled together under the table.

The walk back to Hogwarts was filled with the kind of easy, warm chatter that only close friends could have. The evening air was crisp, carrying the lingering scent of butterbeer and the faint smokiness of fireplaces from the village. The sky above was deep blue, speckled with stars, and the group of you strolled along the path leading back to the castle, boots crunching against the gravel.

Lily was walking ahead with James, who was dramatically recounting a story about how he “heroically” saved a first-year from Peeves.

"So there I was," James began, gesturing wildly, "cornered in the Charms corridor, a poor, defenseless first-year behind me, and Peeves holding an entire bucket of ink over our heads."

"Defenseless?" Lily scoffed. "He was just standing there."

"Exactly! Helpless. So, naturally, I had to act."

"You threw your shoe at him," Remus said flatly, amusement flickering in his eyes.

"And it worked, didn’t it?" James argued.

"Yeah, after he dumped the ink on you first," Sirius snorted.

Peter cackled. "You spent the entire day looking like a human ink blot!"

"It was a small price to pay for the safety of my fellow student," James said with an exaggerated sigh.

Lily shook her head, though she was smiling. "You're unbelievable."

You laughed, nudging Remus. "I swear, they get worse every day."

Remus smirked but didn’t comment, just gently slipped his fingers through yours. His hand was warm, his grip firm but comfortable, like he was telling you without words that he was right there.

You glanced up at him, squeezing his hand. "You’re awfully quiet, Moony."

"Just enjoying the show," he murmured, lips twitching as he watched James and Sirius dramatically reenact the ink disaster.

Sirius was now pretending to be Peeves, floating around James with exaggerated arm movements. "Oh nooo, Mister Potter! You’re about to be—SPLAT!" He mimed dumping ink over James’ head.

James gasped, clutching his heart. "Betrayed! By my own heroism!"

"You weren’t a hero," Lily said, shaking her head.

James turned to Remus, looking for support. "Moony, tell her. That was a very noble thing I did."

Remus gave him a completely blank look. "You threw your shoe at a poltergeist, James."

"A heroic shoe," James clarified.

"You didn’t even get it back," Peter reminded him.

"That just makes it more heroic," James insisted.

Sirius clapped him on the back. "We’ll carve your name into a plaque. ‘James Potter, the boy who sacrificed his shoe for the greater good.’"

You giggled, leaning into Remus. "They’re exhausting, but I love them."

He smiled down at you, his thumb brushing gently over the back of your hand. "Yeah, me too."

Sirius suddenly groaned loudly. "Ugh, you two are doing that soft, romantic thing again."

You raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And it’s disgusting," Sirius declared. "All this... hand-holding and fond gazes. I can’t bear it."

Remus smirked. "I suppose we could start snogging instead, if you prefer?"

Sirius gagged. "Absolutely not."

James looked thoughtful. "You know, it’s funny. A year ago, if someone had told me Moony would be the one out of all of us in a committed, disgustingly cute relationship first, I wouldn’t have believed them."

"Oi," Remus protested.

Lily tilted her head. "Really? I would’ve guessed him first."

James looked scandalized. "You would? Why?"

Lily gave him a pointed look. "Because Remus is the only one who isn’t an insufferable flirt."

James turned to you, looking for backup. "You don’t agree with that, do you?"

You grinned. "I love you, James, but she’s got a point."

Sirius snickered. "She really does."

James huffed, but Lily took his hand, smiling at him. "Oh, don’t pout. I love you even if you are insufferable."

James immediately perked up. "Really?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don’t let it go to your head."

Peter sighed dramatically. "I feel like I’m the only sane one here."

"You, Wormtail?" Sirius laughed. "You joined in on the ink prank!"

Peter shrugged. "It was funny."

The castle loomed ahead, the warm glow of torchlight flickering through the windows. As you all reached the entrance, James sighed dramatically. "Well, another successful Hogsmeade trip. No detentions, no injuries—"

"You spilled butterbeer in your pants," Remus pointed out.

James waved a hand dismissively. "Details."

The warmth of the castle wrapped around you as the group made their way inside, the laughter and teasing gradually fading as the others headed toward the Gryffindor common room. James and Lily were still bickering playfully, Sirius was going on about how he could single-handedly take down Peeves if given the chance, and Peter was just shaking his head at all of them.

You, however, lingered at the bottom of the staircase with Remus, the flickering torchlight casting a soft glow over both of you.

You sighed, smiling up at him. "Well, I suppose this is where we part ways."

He made a small noise, almost reluctant. "Unfortunately."

You tilted your head playfully. "Oh? You sound like you’ll just wither away without me."

Remus chuckled, his hazel eyes twinkling. "Don’t flatter yourself."

You grinned, stepping back slightly. "Alright then, I’ll be off—"

Before you could turn, his fingers caught your wrist, pulling you back gently but firmly. You let out a small gasp as you stumbled a step closer to him. He wasn’t normally one to be so bold, especially not where others might see, but the entrance hall was empty now, and there was something in his eyes—something warm, something wanting.

"You’re not in a rush, are you?" he murmured, his voice low and teasing.

You raised an eyebrow, smirking. "And what if I am?"

His lips twitched. "Then I suppose I’ll have to convince you to stay."

You crossed your arms, pretending to think. "Convince me, huh? And how exactly do you plan on doing that, Lupin?"

He hummed, as if considering, then with a slow, almost lazy confidence, he slipped both hands into your back pockets, pulling you flush against him.

A surprised laugh escaped you. "Oh, so that’s your strategy?"

His smirk deepened, but there was a soft pink dusting his cheeks. "Is it working?"

Your heart fluttered as you looped your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. "Mmm, I don’t know. You might have to try a little harder."

His thumbs rubbed slow, absentminded circles through the fabric of your jeans, and his voice was quiet but playful. "Demanding, aren’t you?"

You grinned. "Only with you."

He leaned down slightly, his forehead almost touching yours. "Lucky me."

You stared at him, your smile softening. "Yeah, lucky you."

His expression shifted, something tender replacing the teasing glint in his eyes. He didn’t always say how he felt, but moments like this, where he just looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, were enough.

"You know," you murmured, "for someone who doesn’t like public displays of affection, you’re being awfully affectionate right now."

He huffed a quiet laugh, resting his forehead against yours. "No one’s here."

"Still," you teased, "what happened to ‘I show my love in subtle ways’?"

His grip on you tightened slightly. "This is subtle."

You raised an eyebrow. "Both hands in my back pockets is subtle?"

He smirked. "Completely."

You shook your head, laughing. "You’re ridiculous."

"And yet," he murmured, brushing his nose against yours, "you love me anyway."

Your teasing grin softened. "I do."

His breath hitched slightly, and before you could say anything else, he kissed you. It was soft, lingering, like he was trying to hold onto the moment for just a little longer. You melted into it, fingers curling into his hair, savoring the warmth of him, the way he held you like you were something precious.

A smile played on your lips as you pulled your lips apart, your bodies nearly flush. "You, breaking rules for me? I'm honored."

He huffed a quiet laugh. "It's hardly breaking the rules. Prefect privileges, remember?"

"Oh, of course," you teased. "How could I forget? You’re the responsible one."

"Exactly," he murmured, his arms sliding gently around your waist. "And right now, I’m responsibly using my time to be with my girlfriend a little longer."

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you swayed slightly in his embrace. The torches along the corridor flickered, casting long shadows, but all you could focus on was the way he looked at you—like you were something precious, something worth bending the rules for.

"You’re soft, Lupin," you whispered playfully, fingers absentmindedly tangling in his hair.

His lips curled into a smirk, but he didn’t argue. "Only for you."

Your stomach flipped at that, heat rising to your cheeks. "That was dangerously sweet."

"Good," he murmured, tilting his head slightly. "I meant it to be."

A comfortable silence settled between you, your bodies still pressed close. It was moments like this that made your heart ache in the best way possible—just the two of you, tucked away in some quiet corner of the castle, stealing time before curfew.

"You really don’t want to let me go, do you?" you teased, brushing a stray strand of hair from his face.

He exhaled softly, his fingers giving the tiniest squeeze against your hips. "Not really."

You bit your lip, warmth blooming in your chest. "You’re ridiculously cute when you’re clingy."

"I’m not clingy," he argued, though his grip on you didn’t loosen in the slightest.

You grinned. "Oh no? So what do you call this?"

He sighed dramatically. "Fine. Maybe I am a little."

You tilted your head, considering. "I think I like it."

Remus laughed, shaking his head. "You’re impossible."

"And yet, you love me," you teased.

He smiled, the kind of soft, adoring smile that always made you melt. "Yeah. I really do."

You felt your cheeks warm, but before you could respond, the distant sound of footsteps echoed through the corridor.

Remus sighed, finally, reluctantly, releasing you. "Go before Filch catches you out of bounds."

You pouted. "You’re no fun."

He smirked. "I’ll save you a seat at breakfast to make up for it."

You hummed. "With extra toast?"

"Obviously."

You smiled, stealing one last quick kiss before stepping back. "Goodnight, Remus."

"Goodnight, love," he murmured, watching you go with that same soft look in his eyes.

And as you disappeared down the corridor, you couldn’t help but think—Merlin, you were hopelessly in love with him.

[theealbatross]

Sebastian x Reader: i love you, it's ruining my life (One Shot)

Plot | Sebastian has the worst insomnia known to man and you are not dating him. Tags | none, fluff, slytherin!reader, bad english accent attempt by me, repressed feelings, unhealthy attachment, codependency, teenagers trying to process trauma together, mentions of nightmares, they are both 17 years old [A/N : FUCK JK ROWLING!!!!!!! Also I just needed to write something and somehow a depressed Slytherin boy was just the one to cure my insane writer's block. Enjoy!]

I am not dating Sebastian Sallow, is what you kept saying yet no one seems to ever believe you. Even Natty, bless her kind soul, gave you a look so incredulous as the words went out of your mouth that you couldn’t help but be confused yourself -- were you dating Sebastian?

“I’m not trying to be nosy, my friend. I’m just concerned.”

“About what?” This has been the third person this month with that same irritating expression on their face. Pity.

“I thought … you were always together that I just assumed there was … something.”

You blinked, trying not to let your face slip, afraid that your ever observant friend would read too much into each emotion.

“Well, there’s nothing. So you and the others can –”

“There are others?!”

You widened her eyes, telling Natty to drop it and she wisely did. “The rest of you can stop reporting his rendezvous to me. Understood?”

“There you are!”

Merlin, will the cruel gods of fate ever give you a break?

The deep voice from the door cut through half of the conversations in your table as Sebastian jogged towards you. “Morning, pet.”

He casually grabbed your head gently, pressing a kiss on top of it, before settling down by straddling the chair so he was facing you. “Hey Natty, got lost?”

It wasn’t unheard of for students to not stick to the assigned tables on their houses but it was still odd, especially for someone like Natty who much preferred the company of like-minded people. Always said that the quiet and whispers in the Slytherin table made her uneasy.

Natty looked from you, to him, to the arms that was hidden under the table but was no doubt placed on your waist, subtly but insistently pulling you closer. You silently pleaded for her to ignore it which she thankfully did with a sigh.

“Not at all, Sebastian. Just trying to keep our friend company before you undoubtedly steal her away for the day.”

He didn’t even pretend to be offended by the accusation, only chuckling good-heartedly. “You can be welcome to tag along just for today.”

“Wouldn’t want to intrude. And with the trouble the two of you get into I’d be grounded by my mother for the rest of my life.”

The three of them laughed at that. The conversation thankfully flowing easier and away from the initial topic. Once Ominis arrived and Poppy was called over it was like fifth-year again. The initial circle you had formed has always been a source of comfort, no longer having to have your guard up all the time especially as easy conversation flowed between each other.

“I got some new books for you, just got delivered an hour ago. We should read it tonight.”

You fed him a piece of bread in your hands, knowing that his growing appetite has not been satiated by the plate he made for himself but he would be too lazy to make a new one and would just rather take bits and pieces from your own. “Just for me, huh?”

He grabbed a tuft of grapes before feeding you one as well before he demolished the entire thing. You couldn’t help but giggle when he spat out a small branch that managed to sneak into his mouth.

“It’s that new muggle series you love, paid off one of Ominis’ servant to line for it so you wouldn’t have to sneak out of Hogwarts like I know you had planned to tonight.”

You could feel your face heating up at the fact that he knew you too damn well. “You know I don’t like you spending money on me, Sebastian.”

“Well, you’re gonna be reading it to me so technically I’m spending money for me.”

You gave him a look but he quickly evaded it by feeding you another pair of grapes.

Sebastian had been haunted by nightmares after last year’s events. Ones so bad that the nurse feared he would be a bit too dependent on sleeping potions at such a young age. Thankfully, the two of you had found a solution together, after a late night studying in the Undercroft reading your notes aloud hoping it would stick into your head a bit better – you had turned to find your companion snoring away beside you.

At first, the two of you thought it was the history lesson that put him right to slumber so you borrowed tons of history books in the library for him to read before he slept but an enchanted note later and you were dragging your sleepy self and a blanket out of your chambers as you read about the History of Magic in his bed.

It was that night that you had been eternally grateful that he had no other roommate but Ominis. Especially when you found out that Sebastian was apparently a horrible koala when asleep.

“That’s just –”

“What are you two whispering about?”

You actually jumped, pushing Sebastian away as if the soft voice behind them reminded you of how they had actually drifted closer than what was appropriate.

“Arieta,” Sebastian greeted her with a raised brow, seemingly confused why the Ravenclaw was this far off the room not even all that affected that his new girlfriend just caught him being a bit too comfortable with another girl.

“Sebby!” she shrieked prettily, quickly recovering and pulling on his arm. “We have History of Magic together, remember? You know I can’t survive that class without your shoulder to sleep on.”

She can hear Ominis choke on a laugh yet Arieta shot you a look like it was your fault.

“I, uh,” Sebastian turned to your table, now fully aware that everyone was staring at him with various expression on their faces. “Right, let’s go.”

Ever the gentleman, Sebastian was quick to grab the books in Arieta’s arm as she held on to his hand and dragged him towards the doors.

“Arieta, huh, wouldn’t have pegged her as territorial one,” Natty chuckled, you chucked a grape at her. “What? I am only speaking my mind. Might have to watch out for that one or she might just drag poor Sebastian away from –”

Just before she finished her sentence Sebastian came bounding down the path once again stopping just beside you, catching his breath. “Hey, you’re mine tonight, okay? No adventures.”

His wording left so much to be misinterpreted that even Poppy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, damn near resembling those mooncalfs she loves so much.

"I stand corrected," Natty muttered.

“Sebby!” Arieta screamed at the end of the hallway.

Merlin’s beard.

“I’m coming!” He threw her an impatient look before holding on to your chin so you were looking at him and forcing you to nod. “No adventures.”

This time the embarrassment of the absolute mess that was unfolding before your unfinished breakfast have overwhelmed your brain that you could only nod with him.

“No adventures.”

Sebastian smiled, one of those real, bright ones that makes your body malfunction and your heart to stop beating. Pressing one last kiss on the top of your head and managing to wave to your shared friends he was off and gone through the double doors.

The entire table was left in silence and you had hoped they would let this go but Natty couldn’t give you that mercy as she cleared her throat.

“Well, now I got even more questions.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow you just think about him a lot.

You weren’t as daft as the rest of them have probably assumed. You did think there was a lot more than friendship between Sebastian and you. But with all the things that the two of you had been through it was difficult to pinpoint what it exactly was aside from their unusually intense loyalty to each other.

Was it a trauma bond? Was it just their kindred spirits refusing to let the one soul who understood them go? Did everything that they went through, the secrets they keep, the curses they threw to protect each other become the bloody ribbon that held the unhealthy attachment they had to each other? It could be love. But it could be a whole lot more complicated than that.

That’s what they were. They were complicated.

After the nightmare that was your fifth year the two of you had kept to yourselves with Ominis in tow, trying to keep as low as profile as possible and give your poor professors a break. With your newfound infamy as the ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ (blergh) and the dark secret you three were desperately keeping for Sebastian, the best you could hope for was to blend in with the rest of the nameless students in Hogwarts.

That agreement got shot into hell when your dear friend Sebastian Sallow proved to be one of the best beaters in Hogwarts’ long, long history. It was a dare that exploded in your own face to try out and irritate Imelda but when he had accidentally proven to be a bit too good at it their mutual friend clutched at him with her demanding claws and put him through the ringer until he got spat out decent enough to be one of the soldiers to secure the honor of their noble house and win the Quidditch cup this year.

Piled on top of that development was his connection to the Gaunt family, the Hero of Hogwarts, and the rumor of his hefty trust fund waiting for him the moment he turns 18 – Sebastian Sallow, just as the gods intended, became the most eligible bachelor of his age.

And thus your hell begun.

The silent charm he always had with him grew with his stature. He clearly enjoyed the attention after having hid his pretty bloody face behind dangerous books all year last year that it was almost like he was compensating for the hearts he could’ve broken. Every moon it was a different girl looped around his arms and every month it was a different friend reporting to you that your presumed ‘boyfriend’ was found snogging a goddamn Gryffindor in the Three Broomsticks.

It was annoying, confusing, and you were getting sick of it.

“Over here.”

Before you could find the source of the voice you knew all too well, a door had already opened and you were quickly pulled into an empty room – well, room was being generous as it was more of a storage space than anything.

“Sebastian!”

“Shh,” you gawked when his opened palm muffled your voice as he firmly presses it on your mouth. The unmistakable sounds of footsteps and a softer call of his name echoed the hallway outside the door. When the footsteps faded and disappeared, he had the nerve to give you a lopsided grin that turned your face red in irritation. Definitely in irritation.

Nothing quite like being forced to face the boy who had been running around your head all day.

“Sorry bout that, pet,” he chuckled, leaning on the wall an arms-length way from you. “I’m not too good with break-ups, especially when they say no.”

“Must be horrifying,” you sniped shortly, also pressing your back on the nearest wall to give you as much space as possible – it would just be absolutely mortifying to faint because your heart was beating too fast it was like it was trying to escape. “Are you gonna explain why you’ve kidnapped me in this dingy room?”

“Come on now, don’t be short with me. I just wanted to hang out with you ‘s all.”

“You want to hang out with me …. Inside a closet?”

He shrugged, “I never see you anymore these days.”

Ah, the nightmares must be back. She tries to swallow down the bitter taste in her mouth.

“That’s not my fault, Sebastian.”

At least he looked guilty. And absolutely miserable.

In the few weeks you had taken your eyes off him it would seem he had another growth spurt. Do boys just not stop growing ever? Looking up at him was starting to get painful. Plus, all those drills they run to prepare for every game had done nothing but well for his physique. You couldn’t help but run your eyes to his broad chest and shoulders before you caught yourself and nearly screamed in horror.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Rough hands grabbed one of yours. He bent his knees so he could look in your eyes as you now outright refuse to meet his, in anger for the absolute shit friend he had been the past months or in embarrassment that you so casually checked him out you’re not quite sure. “I … I got distracted but I missed you. You know I prefer your company over any other.”

Those damned brown eyes, not even the poor light in the windowless room could dull its effect on you. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Your harsh words did not match with the growing smile on your face you failed to suppress. He mirrored your grin, “Do you still have classes?”

You shook your head.

He damn near vibrated in glee. Merlin, you did miss him.

“Let me steal you away.”

In a flash, Sebastian grabbed a hold of your hand to survey the hall one last time before dragging you out of the room and into the nearest Floo. You barely caught the surprise and anger in his ex-girlfriend’s eyes as she gawked by the stairs before you got swallowed up by a green flash of powder.

“Boathouse.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow because this is definitely not a date.

You wouldn’t think the Boathouse would be a romantic place but with the lack of students, the dimming sun and a gorgeous boy leading you in the inside of it for privacy – you couldn’t help but think that anyone who would pass by would be well within their right to think you had become another notch in Sebastian Sallow’s belt.

You’re not sure how you feel about that. A greater witch would’ve been offended but maybe you’re no better than the knots in his belt.

“Sit here.”

Sebastian spread out a worn-out black robe on the ground, patting on it expectantly. Before you could do it yourself, he was already kneeling beside you and removing your shoes and socks. The intimate act forced you to hold your breath, making sure you controlled your face so your jaw doesn’t fall to the floor as he slowly pulled on your socks, gently plopping them on the edge and letting the Black Lake’s water tickle your feet as they dangled.

When you were settled, he nonchalantly laid his head down on your lap. Gods, help you.

“Comfortable, aren’t you?”

He made a dramatic noise of satisfaction, even wiggling in your lap to show his assent. A giggle slipped out of your mouth at the absolute gall of him, your hands naturally falling in his soft, thick, brown hair to play with it.

“What had you been up to, pet?” he mumbles, eyes never leaving your face although you find yourself unable to do the same as you opted to look around the architecture of the Boathouse you rarely visit.

“Nothing much,” you shrugged. “Although I did find that swimming in the Forbidden Forest’s Lake was surprisingly relaxing.”

He hummed, not even surprised at your little antics when you leave his line of sight. The boy had definitely pulled you out of worse situations than roaming around the Forbidden Forest. “You should take me some time. Merlin knows relaxing is what I need.”

A scoff escaped your mouth as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, right after I duel your newest girlfriend for the honor of getting to take you out.”

He poked your side at that, “As entertaining that would be you know all you have to do is send me an owl and I’d trek up to Maurenweem for you.”

Your face clearly showed you didn't believe him and he frowned. Carefully, you ran a finger in-between his brows where a frown formed to relax it.

At this angle you could see the toll the sleepless nights he must’ve been having had on him. If the bags on his eyes was any indication it must’ve been a few nights now. You ran your hands on his hair earning you a satisfied hum as he dangled his hand on the edge of the ledge to play with the water below.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He popped one eye open but your gentle touch proved too much as he closed it again with an even longer hum. “A few hours last night.”

“You should’ve woken me up.”

He gently shook his head, grabbing your free hand so he can hold it by his stomach.

“I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“Oh please, Sebastian.”

He chuckled at that, gripping on your hand tightly as he let out a heavy breath. “The nightmares … I thought it’s been better. Barely had any a few months ago. But now it’s just gotten worse.”

The confession broke your heart. Sebastian was not a vulnerable person; despite his usually easy and cheerful demeanor he was quick to wall himself in at the first sign of trouble. You would bet galleons of gold he still feels horrible of all the things he put you through and it was truly in desperation when he had called you over to help him through his insomnia. Which was also why you had welcomed the responsibility with open arms.

“Care to tell? Is it still about Anne?”

His estranged twin has been forefront of most of his darkest nightmares but he shook his head again and for that you were thankful he was spared that at least. “Solomon? Ominis?”

He opened his eyes; it was full of overflowing guilt and fear. And when it seemed he could no longer keep it to himself he sighed, “It’s about you. That’s the reason why I couldn’t …”

The revelation had your blood freezing. “What?”

He sat up, now facing you and taking both of your hands. “I’m only telling you this because you are my best friend and to remind you that none of this is ever your fault. You haven’t done a thing wrong, in fact, I can’t think how I would’ve gotten past any of this if it wasn’t for you.”

You held on to his hands tighter. “Sebastian, you’re scaring me.”

He shook his head, pulling you closer as if to comfort. Why was he comforting you when it was him who had been terrorized by this dream version of you. It was irrational to be mad but how could you not be when apparently you had become one of his problems while you were simultaneously desperately trying to fix it.

A palm on your cheeks pulled you out of your self-loathing.

“All of my dreams … it was of the people I love leaving me. Anne never forgiving me for the rest of my life, Ominis turning me in …”

“Oh, Sebastian,” you buried a sob on the crook of his neck, your hand roping around his back so you can rub on his back comfortingly while he lets everything out.

“And … and every time it happens my brain drives itself insane thinking of plans of what I would do if those nightmares came true. That’s the reason why I couldn’t sleep.” You looked up at him through your lashes but never leaving your spot even as he brings your legs out of the water and over his until you were in his lap.

“But then … they turned to you.” His voice dropped so low you almost shivered. “And for the life of me I just couldn’t … see an out of that. If I lost you – If you gave up on me I … I think I’d turn myself in Azkaban myself.”

“Sebastian I would never –”

“I know that,” he whispered. “But I still can’t – I can’t let it go. I can’t let go of these doubts and fear.”

This time he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “That’s why I keep hanging out with all those girls.”

You raised your head in confusion, taking a better look at him.

“I thought if I loved you less, my nightmares would be kinder.”

The breath got caught in your throat. What is he – does he mean –

“But I couldn’t do that either,” He sighed, rubbing a hand on his face, clearly frustrated. “So I’ve decided. I’d rather go insane, let the nightmares do their worst because I am done pretending I don’t love you. I’m done avoiding you, I’m done pretending you aren’t the only light in my life. I’m done. And I love you.”

A fully grown crying Mandrake could drop from the sky and you don’t think you would’ve heard it over your own heart. You could barely comprehend anything but that his grip on your waist was so tight it was almost painful and that his pleading, terrified eyes was in the perfect angle that the late dying sun made it look like it was in a golden fire.

And that Sebastian Sallow … is in love with you. Just as madly as you were with him.

“I’m not forcing you into anything. I needed to let it out. If you want, I fully intend to formally court you until –”

“I love you.” You could no longer bear to put him in such misery. As long as you were alive, he would not question the adoration you’ve felt for him that just kept growing since the first day he had taken you to Hogsmeade. “I love you, Sebastian.”

Just for a moment there was quiet then he burst out laughing. “Thank you, darling." His body visibly shuddered as he sighed in relief, burying his face in your chest. "I’ve already planned to throw myself off the highest cliff in Hogwarts if this had gone south.”

You wrapped your hands around his neck, accepting the gentlest kisses on your neck. “Don’t say that. I plan to be your girlfriend for a very long time.”

His body shook from laughing, this time a kiss under your jaw, “Not that long I hope?”

You frowned, pulling away from him, though his unrelenting hold prevented much space to be in between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” his thumbs rubbed circles on your thigh, now seemingly shy. “If all goes well, I had hoped to be engaged by the time we graduate. You won’t be just my girlfriend then.”

"You bastard," You gawked, laughing at his proclamation. The happiness was overflowing in your chest that you couldn’t help but just squeeze him into you hoping maybe that your souls would fuse with each other.  “You haven’t even kissed me yet and you’re already pre-proposing?”

He licked his lips, his sleepless eyes now full of vigor. “Ah, we gotta fix that, don’t we, pet?”

“We’re dating.”

Natty sighed in relief.

Poppy clapped.

Garreth passed Imelda a silver coin.

"Excuse me," Ominis muttered, standing up. “I'm gonna request a room change to the Headmaster.”

[iamgonnagetyouback]

Hi ivy! For the holiday enemies to lovers prompts can you do 1,3,4 with Theo nott? Ofc you don’t have to use all of them if you don’t want to! Those 3 really stood out to me and I couldn’t pick just one 😅 thank you lovely!

SO, WHAT DOES THEODORE NOTT LIKE?.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ㅤㅤ●ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ T. NOTT

SUMMARY ৎ୭ ever since you picked theodore nott for secret santa, you've been in absolute denial about caring. you’re definitely not going out of your way to find the perfect gift, and you’re absolutely not asking his friends totally casual questions about his interests. but when you find out he’s staying at hogwarts for the holidays, you can’t help but pry—and somehow, along the way, you might just end up learning more about him than you ever planned to

WARNINGS ಇ. a very dramatic and nosy hufflepuff, flustered moments, and a slight identity crisis when you realize you might actually like him MORE OF THESE TWO ￫ ୨ৎ A/N ಇ. assuming this is your request @astonishment, thank you so much requesting! hope you like it ‹𝟹

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᡣ𐭩 words.ᐟ 1,673

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ౨ৎㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

There were exactly 47 hours and 12 minutes until the Hogwarts Secret Santa reveal, and you were on the verge of losing your entire mind.

Why? Because you had drawn Theodore freaking Nott as your Secret Santa recipient. Of all the people at Hogwarts, it had to be him: the cold, brooding, insufferable Slytherin who looked at you like you were the human embodiment of an unwashed sock.

“I’m cursed,” you moaned dramatically, sprawled across the couch in the Hufflepuff common room. “There’s no other explanation.”

From her chair by the fireplace, your friend Sarah barely looked up from her book. “What are you on about now?”

“My life is over,” you said, tossing an arm across your eyes for good measure. “I’ve been assigned him. The human icicle. The walking void of emotion.”

Sarah blinked. “You got Theodore Nott?”

You bolted upright, grabbing her arm like she’d just offered to save you from a sinking ship. “What do I do, Sarah?! What do you get someone who hates everything? A rock? A lump of coal?”

“Well…” Sarah started, but you were already off the couch and pacing.

“He’s going to hate anything I give him,” you wailed, hands flailing. “But I can’t not give him something because then I’ll look like a terrible person, and I’m not a terrible person, Sarah! I’m a Hufflepuff! We are legally obligated to be nice!”

“Legally?” Sarah said dryly, but you ignored her.

“And I can’t ask him what he likes because then he’ll know it’s me, and then he’ll think I’m stalking him, and—oh my gosh, what if he reports me to Snape?!”

“You’re spiralling,” Sarah said, but you were already halfway out the door.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ౨ৎㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Step one in your (brilliant, totally foolproof) plan was to interrogate Theodore’s friends. Casually. Subtly. Like a normal person.

Spoiler: You were not a normal person.

“Enzo!” you said brightly, sliding into the seat next to Lorenzo Berkshire at breakfast. “How’s it going? How’s life? How are your socks? Warm? Good. So, what does Theodore Nott like?”

Lorenzo froze mid-bite, his fork hovering in the air. “What?”

“You know, hobbies, interests, favorite snacks, deepest fears,” you said, waving a hand. “The usual.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Why do you want to know?”

“Oh, no reason!” You laughed—a little too loudly. “Just curious.”

“Is this for Secret Santa?” he asked, smirking. “Wait. Did you get Theo? Merlin’s beard, you got Theo!”

“NO!” you practically yelled, nearly knocking over your pumpkin juice. “Of course not! That would be absurd. Ha! Ha ha ha!”

Lorenzo leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“Am not!” you huffed. “I’m just… conducting a holiday-themed survey. For… science.”

“For science?” he repeated, amused. “Right. Well, Sunshine, if you’re so curious about Theo, why don’t you just ask him?”

“BECAUSE!” You threw your hands in the air. “He’s scary, Enzo! He’ll probably hex me or—I don’t know—stare at me with those stupid intense eyes of his.”

“His stupid intense eyes?” Enzo grinned, waggling his eyebrows. “Are you sure you don’t like him?”

“WHAT?!” You nearly fell out of your chair. “I don’t like him! I despise him! He’s rude and annoying and—ugh—he breathes too smugly!”

“Sure,” Enzo said, clearly not convinced. “Whatever you say, Sunshine.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ౨ৎㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You were nothing if not persistent. So, against your better judgment, you cornered Theodore himself in the library.

“What are you doing for the holidays?” you asked, plopping into the chair across from him.

Theodore didn’t even look up from his book. “Why do you ask and/or care?”

“I don’t care,” you said quickly. “I was just… wondering.”

He finally glanced at you, one dark eyebrow raised. “Why?”

“Because I’m nice,” you said, gesturing vaguely. “And curious. And it’s the holidays! Aren’t we supposed to, like, bond or something?”

“I’d rather not,” he said, turning a page.

You scowled. “Wow. You really know how to spread holiday cheer, don’t you?”

“Was there a point to this?” he asked, looking at you like you were a particularly annoying fly buzzing around his head.

“Yes,” you said, folding your arms. “The point is… I was just wondering if you’re going home for Christmas.”

“No,” he said shortly. “Now, are we done here?”

Your scowl deepened. “Why aren’t you going home?”

“Why do you care?” he shot back.

“I don’t!” you said, your voice a little too high-pitched. “I just… thought you might be lonely or something.”

Theodore’s lips twitched into the faintest smirk. “Worried about me, Sunshine?”

“No!” you said, cheeks burning. “Don’t flatter yourself, Nott. I was just—ugh, forget it!”

You stood up so quickly you almost knocked over your chair, muttering under your breath as you stomped away. Behind you, Theodore chuckled softly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ౨ৎㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

By some miracle (or maybe sheer stubbornness), you managed to find the perfect gift: a leather-bound journal, simple yet elegant, with Theodore’s initials embossed on the cover.

When the time came for the Secret Santa exchange, you watched nervously as he unwrapped it, your palms clammy and your heart pounding.

He stared at the journal for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, he looked up, his piercing green eyes locking onto yours.

“Did you…?” he started, but you cut him off.

“It’s not a big deal!” you said quickly, waving your hands. “I just—I mean, you don’t have to like it or anything. It’s fine if you hate it. I just thought—”

“Mio sole,” he interrupted, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “It’s perfect.”

You froze, your brain short-circuiting. “It… it is?”

He nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Thank you.”

For a moment, you just stared at him, completely dumbfounded. Then, because you didn’t know what else to do, you blurted, “You’re welcome! Merry Christmas! Okay, bye!”

You practically sprinted out of the room, your face burning, but you couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face.

Maybe Theodore Nott wasn’t so bad after all.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ౨ৎㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Later, when you were sitting by the fire, Lorenzo plopped down beside you with a smug grin.

“So,” he said, nudging you. “You gave Theo his gift. How’d it go?”

“Fine,” you said, playing with the hem of your sweater. “He liked it.”

“‘Liked it,’” Lorenzo repeated. “That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“Yes,” you said firmly. “That’s all.”

Lorenzo smirked. “You’re blushing, Sunshine.”

“I am not!”

Across the room, Theodore caught your eye, and for the briefest moment, he smiled—a real, genuine smile. Your heart did a little flip, and you quickly looked away.

Lorenzo laughed. “Yeah. Totally not blushing.”

“Shut up, Enzo!”

Lorenzo's laughter trailed off as you smacked his arm, though he didn’t stop smirking like the absolute menace he was. You crossed your arms and sank deeper into your seat, huffing.

“Say, Enzo,” you began, your voice carefully nonchalant, “you know Italian, right?”

He raised a curious eyebrow but shrugged. “Yeah, of course.”

You turned to face him, fiddling nervously with the hem of your sleeve. “What does… uh… mio sole mean?”

The smirk that spread across his face was so smug, you immediately regretted asking. “Ohhh,” he drawled, leaning closer with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Who called you that?”

“No one!” you said, your voice jumping an octave. “I just heard it somewhere, that’s all. Totally random. Not a big deal!”

Enzo’s eyebrows wiggled like he was performing some sort of comedy act. “Not a big deal, huh? Sure. Well, it means ‘my sun.’ You know, like…” He trailed off dramatically before pointing straight at you. “Sunshine. My sunshine.”

Your face burned so hot, you were pretty sure you were moments away from combusting. “Oh,” you squeaked, your voice barely audible.

Enzo leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “So, Sunshine, care to explain who’s been whispering sweet nothings in Italian to you?”

“No one!” you said again, practically shouting this time. “I told you, I just heard it somewhere! That’s all! Ugh, you’re so annoying, Enzo!”

“I’m annoying?” he said with mock offense. “You’re the one coming to me with your mysterious Italian phrases. Next thing I know, you’ll be asking me how to confess your undying love to Theo in flawless Tuscan dialect.”

Your gasp was so loud, half the common room turned to look at you. “Excuse me?!”

Enzo’s smirk widened. “You’re excused.”

You sputtered incoherently, your brain a tangled mess of embarrassment and indignation. “I—he—there is nothing—you are impossible, Lorenzo Berkshire!”

Enzo laughed so hard, he nearly fell out of his chair. Meanwhile, you crossed your arms and buried your face in your hands, silently vowing to never speak to him again.

Across the room, Theodore caught your eye once more, his lips quirking up in a small, knowing smile. Your stomach flipped again, and you quickly turned away, cheeks blazing.

Enzo, noticing the exchange, gasped dramatically. “It is Theo, isn’t it?! Sunshine, you sly little—”

“ENOUGH!” You groaned, grabbing a cushion and whacking him with it. Enzo, of course, only laughed harder.

©iamgonnagetyouback౨ৎ please refrain from copying, translating, or reposting any of my work, translate, or repost any of my work.

[sparkbirdmusic]

sparkbird sparkbird i love your music a lot and i've been wanting to try getting into birding. any tips on where to start???

OOH OOH yes yes yes

SPARKBIRD'S BIRDING TIPS

go to wetlands!! I think wetlands are pretty much always the best place to start birding. (forests and lakes can be a bummer, which surprised me when I started birding. to be clear, I've had great birding experiences in all kinds of places. but often in forests the birds are too high to see, and far too many lakes are just huge birdless expanses of water)

the more you know, the more you notice—so many species of birds are right under your nose (or over your head) in the places you go or pass by every day (home, school, work, the walmart parking lot, the random field behind the goodwill, etc.)

download the Merlin Bird ID app. you can have it listen and identify what birds it's hearing (occasionally it gets things wrong but it tends to be quite accurate, and it'll likely help you start identifying birds by ear)

if you can get your hands on binoculars, that's a HUGE help. if not, I would look up local bird walks, because they tend to have extra pairs to use for the event! depending on your accessibility needs, you may look for phrases like "stationary event" or "bird sit". look for chapters of the feminist bird club! (I co-founded the chapter in portland, oregon)

download the eBird app and go to the Explore tab. see what species have been reported around you, and what hotspots you might go to. you can look at people's checklists to see what times they went places, what route they went, etc. you can learn a lot by scouring people's checklists!

get a field guide. if you're in north america, sibley is the go-to guide (sibley birds east or sibley birds west, depending on where you are)

check out sibley's birding basics book (I learned a lot from this when I was first starting)

above all, just go look at birds and try to figure stuff out! when I first started, I felt like I didn't have permission to be a beginning birder. it felt like something you could only do if you already knew everything. I am here to tell you that you DO have permission

tell me how it goes!!!

[oneknightstand-if]

A Completely Normal Rest Stop

Update 4: Chapter 2 Part 2 - The Rest Stop

Featuring...

Merlin's Guide to Minor Enemies

A bucketload of owed texts & e-mails to the MC

Decisions of great import... just where are you sleeping in that motorhome during this Among Us game?

Shopping? Fleeing? Stalking Merlin? Chapter 2 wedding proposals? ̵S̵a̴b̷o̴t̸a̷g̵e̵ ̵t̷h̴e̶ ̷m̸o̵t̵o̴r̷h̸o̷m̷e̶/̷ Actually having a completely normal time because you sidestepped all the spooky shenanigans? (But what fun would the latter be?)

A ton of branching everywhere in the second part of this update, so try replaying again with a few different choices.

A̴ ̴C̴o̶m̴p̷l̷e̵t̷e̴l̴y̵ ̶N̴o̷r̸m̴a̶l̵ ̵G̴a̴s̸ ̶S̵t̵a̷t̷i̶o̷n̸ ̵S̴t̸o̷p̷

Nothing to see here but a completely normal gas station & convenience store at a completely normal rest stop. Moving along now.

Play the Updated Beta Test

(Since there were bugs & typos reported throughout Chapter 1 & 2, your current saves are probably going to reset to the beginning of each section of the game. If things get too wonky, you might want to try restarting from the beginning.)

*If you're getting error messages or the start screen isn't showing Version 0.22, please clear your browser's cache.

Additional Word Count (Sans Code): 200,000+

Additional Word Count (With Code): 285,000+

New Total Word Count (Sans Code): 815,000+

New Total Word Count (With Code): 1,120,000+

Average Playthrough: ~65,000+ words

Note: You can view the game code on my site the same way you do on Dashingdon just add /scenes to the end of the URL.

Next Update

Merlin's Guide to Minor Neutrals

MC may appear on TV! This might not be a good thing. And they aren't the only one, cameo appearances from a future RO

Get hit with your first mass spell of nondemonic origin

Counteract with participation in your first multiuser spell

Attempt to summon Cthulhu. Dance the macarena. Have the consequences of your own inaction potentially bite you in the arse-- I mean what?

RO #4 finally appears.

Also quick reminder that the Alpha Build of the game on Patreon updates as I complete each section, so is currently on Chapter 2-3.

Link to New Polls on the Update (Which don't auto close in a week like the Tumblr ones)

More (Fiddly) Info on the Update Behind the Spoiler Cut...

The Update Also Includes...

Added section where the devil's mark is found if you change into short sleeve clothes right before packing up to leave

Added more neutral way of deciding not to claim dibs on a past Camelot incarnation

Added more flavor text regarding the vending machine in the fencing club route

Fixed continuity bug regarding your mask while exploring the empty city

Fixed continuity bug with Adrian's text messages in the Fencing Club route (Again!)

Added Fou and Petit Cru as default names for the Arthurian lore references to the default pet names

Fixed reference to nonexistent pet at the start of the book club route (which won't be finished for awhile)

Fixed some behind-the-scenes bugs with variable incrementing

Changed brave_sir_robin & merlin_warn to numerical variable instead of true/false (might cause bugs with prior saves that triggered those flags)

Fixed a bunch of typos and smaller bugs that I've completely lost track of at this point, but pretty much guarantee every section got re-edited

[queer-ragnelle]

Seeking a book to read this winter break?

Brand "New" List of Additions to the Arthurian Preservation Project Archive

In time, all books will be added to my Retellings List or Medieval Literature List respectively, and possibly a third page for handbooks/informational resources. Retellings may be under construction for a bit as I reformat to accommodate the influx in links. There are some duplicates—Alan Lupack's and Mike Ashley's anthologies occasionally contain a one-off story I've otherwise included in an individual volume of collected works by the author.

Links connect to corresponding PDFs on my Google drive where they can be read and downloaded for free. But if you like what I do, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi. I haven't yet read these listings in full; I cannot attest to their content or quality. A big thank you to @wandrenowle for the help collecting!

Modern Retellings

Merlin in Love by Aaron Hill (1790) — Opera about Merlin & his love interest Columbine.

The Fortunate Island by Max Adeler (1882) — A family shipwrecks on an island only to discover its populated with Arthurian knights, including Dinadan, Bleoberis, & Agravaine.

Sir Marrok by Allen French (1902) — Werewolf knight.

The Story of Sir Galahad by Mary Blackwell Stirling (1908) — Illustrated retelling of Malory's Grail Quest.

The Story of Parzival by Mary Blackwell Stirling (1911) — Illustrated retelling of Eschenbach's Parzival.

Stories From King Arthur and His Round Table by Beatrice Clay (1913) — Illustrated retelling of Malory.

Cloud Castle and Other Papers by Edward Thomas (1922) — Contains two Arthurian entries: the story Bronwen The Welsh Idyll about Agravaine & his lady Bronwen, & the essay Isoud about the Prose Tristan.

Collected Poems by Rolfe Humphries (1924-1966) — Contains Dream of Rhonabwy about Owain & Arthur's chess game, A Brecon Version about Essylt/Trystan, Under Craig y Ddynas about Arthur's "sleeping" warriors, & The Return of Peredwr about the Grail Hero's arrival to court.

Peronnik the Fool by George Moore (1926) — The quest for the Holy Grail based on Breton folklore.

The Merriest Knight by Theodore Goodridge Roberts (1946-2001) — Anthology of short stories all about Dinadan.

The Eagles Have Flown by Henry Treece (1954) — A third Arthurian novel from Treece detailing the rivalry between Artos & Medrawt, with illustrations this time.

Launcelot, my Brother by Dorothy James Roberts (1954) — The fall of Camelot from Bors perspective, as a brother of Launcelot.

To the Chapel Perilous by Naomi Mitchison (1955) — Two rival journalists report about the goings on in Camelot.

The Pagan King by Edison Marshall (1959) — Historical fiction from the perspective of Pagan King Arthur.

Kinsmen of the Grail by Dorothy James Roberts (1963) — The Grail Quest but Gawain is Perceval's step dad.

Stories of King Arthur by Blanche Winder (1968) — Illustrated retelling of Malory.

Drustan the Wanderer by Anna Taylor (1971) — Retelling of Essylt/Drustan.

Merlin's Ring by H. Warner Munn (1974) Gwalchmai is a godson of Merlin's that uses his ring to travel through the magical & real worlds.

Lionors, Arthur's Uncrowned Queen by Barbara Ferry Johnson (1975) — Story of Arthur's sweetheart & mother of his son, Loholt.

Gawain and The Green Knight by Y. R. Ponsor (1979) — Illustrated prose retelling of SGATGK poem.

Firelord (#1), Beloved Exile (#2), The Lovers: Trystan and Yseult (#3) by Parke Godwin (pseudonym Kate Hawks) (1980-1999) — Book 1 Arthur, book 2 Guinevere, book 3 Trystan/Yseult.

Bride of the Spear by Kathleen Herbert (1982) — "Historical" romance retelling of Teneu/Owain.

Invitation to Camelot edited by Parke Godwin (1988) — Anthology of assorted Arthurian stories from authors like Phyllis Ann Karr & Sharan Newman.

Arthur, The Greatest King - An Anthology of Modern Arthurian Poems by Alan Lupack (1988) — Anthology of modern Arthurian poetry by various authors including E. A. Robinson, William Morris, C. S. Lewis, & Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The White Raven by Diana L Paxson (1988) — "Historical" romance retelling of Drustan/Esseilte.

Merlin Dreams by Peter Dickinson (1988) — Illustrated by Alan Lee.

The Pendragon Chronicles edited by Mike Ashley (1990) — An anthology of Arthurian stories, including some translations such as the Lady of the Fountain, and retellings by John Steinbeck & Phyllis Ann Karr.

Grails: Quest of the Dawn edited by Richard Gilliam (1992-1994) — Anthology of Grail Quest stories.

The Merlin Chronicles edited by Mike Ashley (1995) — Anthology about Merlin from authors like Theodore Goodridge Roberts & Phyllis Ann Karr.

The Chronicles of the Holy Grail edited by Mike Ashley (1996) — Anthology about the Holy Grail from authors like Cherith Baldry & Phyllis Ann Karr.

The Chronicles of the Round Table edited by Mike Ashley (1997) — Anthology of assorted Arthurian stories from authors like Cherith Baldry & Phyllis Ann Karr.

Sleepless Knights by Mark H Williams (2013) — 1,500 years have passed but Lucan the Butler’s still on the clock.

Medieval Literature

Three Arthurian Romances (Caradoc, The Knight with The Sword, The Perilous Graveyard) [This is on the Internet Archive & cannot be downloaded. If someone could help with that, lmk!] translated by Ross G. Arthur

Le Bel Inconnu (The Fair Unknown) translated by Colleen P. Donagher

Segurant The Knight of the Dragon (Portuguese) edited by Emanuele Arioli

An Anglo-Norman Reader by Jane Bliss

Stanzaic Morte Arthur / Alliterative Morte Arthure edited by Larry D. Benson

Sir Perceval de Galles / Ywain and Gawain edited by Mary Flowers Braswell

Sir Gawain: Eleven Romances and Tales edited by Thomas Hahn

Prose Merlin edited by John Conlee

The Middle English Breton Lays edited by Eve Sailsbury & Anne Laskaya

Il Ciclo Di Guiron Le Courtois Volumes 1-7 (Italian)

Wace's Roman de Brut / Layamon's Brut by Robert Wace & Eugene Mason

Arthurian Literature by Women edited by Alan Lupack & Barbara Tepa Lupack

Handbooks

Studies in the Fairy Mythology of Arthurian Romance by Lucy Allen Paton (1960)

A Companion to the Gawain-Poet edited by Derek Brewer (1990)

The Mammoth Book of King Arthur edited by Mike Ashley (2005)

A Bibliography of Modern Arthuriana 1500-2000 by Ann F. Howey & Stephen R. Reimer (2006)

[accio-bagel]

shout out to my hilarious and talented friend @theladyofshalott1989 for writing this epic poem to go with my silly Seabasstian doodle 🐟💀

"I'm a Dark Magic boyo With a Dark Magic book, So I spread the Unforgivables Around the school like a crook." (Or, Sebastian Sallow is The Pout-Pout Fish.)

[ read it on AO3 ] 🐟

Deep in the dungeons Where the Slytherins lie Lives a Dark Magic boy Who (probably) needs a good cry.

"I'm a Dark Magic boyo With a Dark Magic book, So I spread the Unforgivables Around the school like a crook."

"Crucio, Imperio, AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Along comes a new kid  With Ancient Magic divine And a mission of their own That their pal thinks is "just fine."

"Hey Dark Magic boyo, With your Dark Magic book Would you help me with my quest? Here, take a look!"

Says the boy to his friend, "Nice thought, new kid. I hear what you're saying, I'll do it; you're definitely not mid." 

"I'm a Dark Magic boyo With a Dark Magic book, So I spread the Unforgivables Around the school like a crook."

"Crucio, Imperio, AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Along comes the boy's uncle He stomps through the field His angry face on full display, shouting, "ANNE CANNOT BE HEALED!"

"Hey Dark Magic boyo With your Dark Magic book, I'm gonna report you to the Ministry Don't act so shook."

Says the boy to his uncle, "You jerk! I DON'T agree! I'm gonna kill you, It's entirely up to me."

"I'm a Dark Magic boyo With a Dark Magic book, So I spread the Unforgivables Around the school like a crook."

"Crucio, Imperio, AVADA KEDAVRA!"

(Uncle's dead.)

Along comes the boy's twin sister, Anne, His kindred spirit, still quite sick. She is sad, she is mad, She is one powerful chick.

Says the boy to his sister, "Anne, I can cure you! Please let me try." "YOU'VE MADE YOUR CHOICE!" She yells back. (Bye-bye, book.)  Boy screams, "NO, ANNE!!! WHY???"

"I'm a Dark Magic boyo With no more Dark Magic book, But I'll still spread the Unforgivables Around the school like a crook."

"Crucio, Imperio, AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Along comes the Ministry With their dementors most foul, Stealing souls and breaking hearts They'll really make you howl. 

"Hey, Dark Magic boyo Let us tell it to you straight. Your Dark Magic meddling Is an unattractive trait."

Says the boy to his captors, "Ministry, get WRECKED! With a power like mine I'm more than just inept."

"I'm a Dark Magic boyo With no more Dark Magic book, But I'll still spread the Unforgivables Around the WIZARDING WORLD like a crook."

"Crucio, Imperio, AVADA KEDAVRA!" 

Now along comes his old friend, The Ancient Magic kid. The Ministry has never seen before Such amazing skills (Merlin forbid)!"

New kid approaches Dark Magic boyo But instead of saying hey...

They use Ancient Magic Throw  On the Ministry and its dementors And then they bolt away.

Dark Magic boyo is most astounded; Dark Magic boyo is just aghast! He is stone-faced like a statue Then he blinks, and speaks at last:

"New kid!" yells Sebastian Sallow, "I should have known it all along. I thought I needed Dark Magic, But it turns out I was wrong."

"I'm an Ancient Magic lover With an Ancient Magic Kid, We can cure Anne together Because look what YOU did!"

"So I'll not call you ignorant Because that would be dumb. Join me, my friend, And we'll be more than just ho-hum."

(And they lived happily ever after, THE END.)

[waykeeper-girl]

[curseofaphrodite]

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎; where you, the Hogwarts Newsletter editor, wrote a less-than-praising piece about Gryffindors losing the recent match.

— ------------------ — ------------------ —

"She's a Slytherin too, of course! Makes the perfect sense!"

James threw tantrums daily, so Remus wondered if he should be especially distraught when his best friend started kicking his study table in frustration.

"Who?"

"Y/N bloody L/N, that's who!" His voice turned high pitched, trying to hide his pain from kicking the desk. "Marlene just told me she's a Slytherin!"

"Why's that name familiar?" Remus put down his book, and James saw Sirius Black's head resting on his lap. His eyes were closed, but it was obvious he was awake and listening.

"L/N is the editor of Hogwarts Newsletter. She's the one who wrote all those nasty articles about me."

"You mean about your whole team."

"Throwing shots at them is throwing shots at me personally! She has no right—"

"Technically, she does have to report on matches."

"Oh shut up, Moony."

"I thought the articles were pretty good," Sirius whispered, nuzzling closer to his boyfriend's touch. Remus had absently started playing with his hair.

James let out a sharp gasp, as if his best friend stabbed him in the back.

"...from a writer's standpoint, of course," Sirius added quickly.

"I'm getting new best mates!" James put his hands up in frustration and stormed out of the room.

-----------------------------

You were walking back into the castle with your friends when you saw a disheveled boy in Gryffindor robes and slightly tilted glasses make his way out. He was looking behind him as he walked, so it was hardly a surprise when he collided with you.

"Merlin, watch where you're going," he said, looking at the splatter of your books on the ground.

You scoffed. "You're the one who crashed into me, you buffoon!"

Despite his rude comment, he had bent down to pick up your books. He took them all... angrily? It was obvious he was just in an outburst of sorts.

"I can get them—"

"I'm done, I'm done," he interrupted, standing up with a badly arranged pile. He sounded less frustrated than before, but he gasped immediately on seeing one of your books... or specifically, your name on it.

"YOU'RE Y/N L/N?" He yelled in pure surprise.

"Uh, yes?"

He stared at you in utter bafflement for a good five seconds.

"GREAT!" He shoved the books in your hands like they were burning his skin. "Just perfect. Of course, it had to be someone bloody gorgeous! OF COURSE!"

With that, he stormed off, for the second time that day.

"Uhm, who the hell was that?" you asked your friends in confusion.

"I think he's in that trouble-making Gryffindor gang. The one with Regulus's brother."

"Oh right, he looks familiar from the matches," you said, turning back. James was walking into the distance, kicking rocks and yelling at himself. "Why's he so dramatic?"

"Oh trust me, you don't know the half of it." A red-haired girl muttered, walking past you without another word.

Gryffindors are being weird today, you decided, shrugging it all off.

As you and your friends moved on, you were oblivious to the newsletters circulating twenty times more than usual, everyone giggling especially at the Quidditch section.

You didn't know it right then, but you had unknowingly become a Slytherin celebrity overnight, all because you humbled James Potter — a feat everyone in your house had always wanted to achieve.

[balek-nosleep]

Damien enter the DIY world(he will probably grow up to be a bobo)

Ok cutest thing, as we all know damian draw and read mangas ect. But I'll put you something better on the table.

I think the artsy teen that he is would enter in a DIY and tag phase (maybe not a phase after all i nevers left mine, its called growing poor).

In what i know of Ra's is that his attread of humanity come from it's destructive tendencies on earth, deforestation, mass extinction of spicies ect. And i do like to think that damian veganisme and love of animals started there but also it would be in that context logic for him to be ecologically conscious and that why he could maybe try DIY ,mending and stuff like that. From there he would grow an habit of mending/offering his friend and family stuff like pins,patches that he would had made himself or probably customize his family stuff .

List of what he would have done as an example:

-Make patches for Jason clothes, exemple when he made a hole in his favorite hoodie, damian gave him a patch with a kind of cartoony oldtimy bomb (you know the round one like in the looneytoons) drawn on it. I like to think he got the sewing part from him.

-For Alfred and Barbara he made pins with charms he found and gave them when he felt expecially thankful.

-Made patches of Jon’s favorite shows so he could put them on his backbag when Jon wasn’t looking.

-Dick made a stain (dont ask of what,probably ketchup)on his shirt one day and damian drew over it when the stain wouldn't leave(dick would know how to but he kind of wanted something made by his lil bro), probably a really stylise and majestic tiger with lotus flowers.

-Tim. He used glue to salvage the handle of his mug, but hey its glittery glue.

-He made a sticker for duke helmet when he made a dent on it during a outing on his motorcycle. Something like a sun with sunglasses and a helmet (because he apparently need a redo on driving safety ) or he painted a dragon over it (dont know why i just like it,maybe the merlin fan in me talking)

-On cass adoption anniversary he gifted her a necklace, a mix of pearls and jewel(that he may or may not have stolen from a old jewelry box in the manor attics ) each jewel being of different colors supposed to represent a member of the family and a charm of ballerina shoes.

-Steph would have asked him to customize her computer case for her ,which he firstly refuse to do because"i have better things to do" ,but it didn't stop said computer to disappear and be found on the kitchen counter the next morning covered with stickers, drawings and photos. She came back asking for him to do her phone case next.

-During patrol after finishing to report events to batwoman , he left a bracelet (probably leather band with spikes )behind him right were he was before sneaking off when she looked away(she let him do on purpose )

-Gifted Catwoman a cat keychain made of clay so she wouldn’t interfere during a mission. She took it.

-On the day of martha and thomas death, bruce woke up to find on his bed a big and bulky book ,when opened it reveal a family album scrapbook style.

I do think he would be shy about it as it is sometimes less polished and shabby compared to what they technically could have but he fell extremely proud when he see his family wearing or using what he made with joy until they brake once again.

(Sorry if there is misspelling or typos)

[nekoyashi]

One Knight Stand Charisma Guide

Prologue:

No choice to increase charisma here

Apartment:

Choosing to be a collector of Arthuriana won't increase charisma now, but will allow for a increase later on.

When choosing your job:

Being a News Reporter gives +15; Police Detective gives +5; Wildlife Biologist gives +10; Ambulance Paramedic gives +3; Restaurant Worker gives +10.

Note that being Police Detective makes some of the Charisma checks easier, usually lowering them by 10/15/20 points

Choosing to have a pet (For a moment I forget and believe it's my pet...) will give +5.

Picking the Polo Club will give +10; choosing the Book Club and then picking this option: "It's a good chance to practice my public speaking at least." will give +5 (the book club branch is not finished at the moment and will send you to the polo branch).

Choosing that you were abandoned will give +5.

Choosing Lust as your vice/cardinal sin will give +5.

Using Xyzzy in any part of your name (name/surname/nickname) will give +1 to magic, physical strength, intelligence and charisma.

Using Pendragon as a surname will give +1.

Polo Club:

Choosing Midsummer Knight's Dream as your horse will give +2.

Fencing Club:

Choosing to fence foil will give +2.

Talent:

Choosing luck as your talent will randomly pick a status and give it +5. It'll happen three times in total, giving up to +15 if you're lucky.

Picking either eloquence or magnetism will give +10.

Going Home:

Choosing to be an imposter will give +5; if you've chosen to be an amnesiac, choosing to be lying about your amnesia will give +5.

Back to the Apartment:

No choices to increase charisma here.

Conversation with Merlin:

If you decide to use a pseudonym, using Xyzzy in any part of your pseudonym will give +1 to magic, physical, intelligence and charisma.

Using Pendragon as your fake surname will give +1 to magic.

Note that this is mutually exclusive with the real name choice, so using the same twice will only increase the status in the first time.

If you're a collector of Arthuriana and with low silent/not mute, choosing "So that means I'm a reincarnated character from Camelot? And so is Adrian? And all these other people we're trying to find?" will give you Merlin's autograph which can increase charisma when packing your stuff.

Packing the Suitcase:

Choosing to bring the picture of the foster home will give +5.

Bringing a memento of the pet will give +5.

Bringing Merlin's autograph will give +2.

And this seems to be the last chance to increase charisma as of version 0.23.

Maximum should be around 71 points, if you don't use the names to increase status and pick magnetism or eloquence as talent. The biggest status check I've seen is 65, lowered to 50 if you're a cop. However, most checks seems to be charisma + intelligence. Highest charisma only check I saw was 35.

Other guide: Magic Guide

[larluce]

Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

@dsabian , @theplatanitosqueal , @stressed-but-chill , @gregre369 , @chaosofbelievers , @thelordofabsolutelynothing , @another-tblr-fangirl , @aceauthorcatqueen , @smileytrinity , @tiny-and-witchy , @wako-weirdo , @a-very-tired-ravenclaw , @schiwalkers-ineffability , @natsu2501malo , @dearfuturelyn , @thedollopheadofcamelot , @yougottobekittenme , @your-local-asylum-escapee , @theroundbartable , @alo-ween , @orliththedragon We are back to the present.

LINK TO THE OTHER PARTS: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 (You're here) , PART 13

In Arthur's chambers. Arthur And Merlin snuggling in bed while Arthur reads a book to his chicks.

Arthur: And the princess and the knight lived happily ever after.

Brave: (on Merlin's shoulder) I wanna be a Knight! 😄 (Makes fighting movements)

Rain: (on Arthur's shoulder) I wanna be a Princess! 🤩 (Makes dancing movements like she is wearing a dress)

Merlin: My chicks, you are a birds, you can't-

Arthur: You can be whatever you want, babies.

Chicks: Yay! 😄😊😄😊😄

Merlin: (glares at Arthur)

Arthur: What?

Uther: (Knocks the door from outside) Arthur?

Merlin: (changes to bird form)

Uther: (enters) Son, we need to... (Looks Arthur is holding a book and has 2 chicks on his shoulders, 1 on his lap and the rest on the bed) talk.

Chicks: (stay silent immediately like Merlin taught them cause old meany human is scary and they were told old meany human gets rid of misbehaved falcons)

Arthur: (like nothing is out of the ordinary) What is it?

Uther: Are you reading to the birds?

Arthur: It helps them sleep.

Uther: They could poop your bed!

Arthur: Oh, they don't do that anymore. They use their potty.

Uther: Their what?

Wary: (on Arthur's shoulder, chirps very quietly) Poop, poop 🥺.

Arthur: (puts Wary and Rain on his lap and pulls out a little potty from under the bed with a bird engraved in it) Here.

Wary: (jumps moving his wings to the edge of the potty and poops inside) 😊

Arthur: (to Uther) See? They are very clean.

Uther: It's... quite impressive, I suppose. But you are humanizing these animals too much.

Arthur: I am not! (puts his chicks in the nest to sleep, covering them with a blanket)

Uther: You read them to sleep, you put blankets on their nest-

Arthur: Just one blanket and it's to keep them warn.

Uther: -and you barely leave your chambers now. You only spend time with them.

Arthur: (stands up holding the nest and looks lovingly at his babies) I just... don't want to miss on any moment of their childhood.

Uther: (snaps) Childhood? THEY ARE NOT CHILDREN! THEY ARE FUCKING ANIMALS! 😡

Chicks: (chirp a little in the nest without being able to help it, very scared, though Guardian still puts himself infront of his siblings, protective)🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Merlin: (flies to the nest protecting his chicks and kills Uther with his eyes)

Arthur: Father, please lower your voice. You're scaring them and Merlin might attack you if he considers you a threat.

Uther: (about to yell again, but remembers Merlin took some witch's eyes out so he takes a deep breath to compose himself and lowers his voice) What I'm trying to say is that you've been cooped up with these birds for too long. You're neglecting your duties.

Arthur: (puts the nest with Merlin and his chicks on top of the wardrove) But I've been to every reunion and done every report you asked.

Uther: But you don't go on quests anymore.

Arthur: There hasn't been one.

Uther: Well, now there is. (Gives Arthur a parchment) There have been riots in the villages near the citadel. It could be just some vandals, but just in case is something more serious you must go to enssure and calm the citizens.

Arthur: But, my chicks-

Uther: Will be fine. You have hundreds of servants at your disposal. I'm sure you can leave them for a couple of days.

Arthur: I don't trust the servants.

Uther: Well that's a shame, because you are going either way. It's an order.

Arthur: (sighs) Yes, father.

Uther: (leaves)

Merlin: (flies next to Arthur and changes back to his human form)

Arthur: Are they still awake?

Merlin: No, I managed to make them sleep. They'll probably have nightmares with Uther though.

Arthur: Well, you heard my father. I have to leave the castle for a couple of days, so you'll have to look after the chicks alone.

Merlin: Oh, I'm not staying. I'm coming with you.

Arthur: What?!

Merlin: You think I'm going to let go into danger all by yourself?

Arthur: Is not a dangerous quest, just a visit to the neighboring villages.

Merlin: Where riots are taking place. What if some bandid or raider tries to kill you? Or an evil sorcerer? Or some magical creature? I need to be there to protect you!

Arthur: Now you are overreacting.

Merlin: Really? When does any of your quests has ever no ended up with someone or something trying to kill you?

Arthur: ...

Merlin: (crosses his arms and lifts an eyebrow)

Arthur: I'm the best knight in Camelot and I'll bring a cavalry with me. I'll be fine.

Merlin: Yeah, sure 😒. I'm coming with you.

Arthur: Merlin, one of us has to stay with the chicks. Or are you really going to let some strangers look after them?

Merlin: Of course not. We'll bring them with us.

Arthur: WHAT?!😨 Are you mad?!😠 We can't bring them to the quest. It's too dangerous!

Merlin: You just said it wasn't dangerous.

Arthur: For them it's dangerous!😡 They are too small still!

Merlin: They are almost my bird size now!

Arthur: But they don't know how to fly and you have magic to protect yourself, they don't. Nature is dangerous, there are all kind of predators outside. You should be very aware of this. One broke your wing and Brownie was killed by one of those!

Merlin: Yes, nature is dangerous. But guess what? Brownie would've raise them in nature! Because that's where they are supposed to be living!😡

Arthur and Merlin open their eyes wide when they realise they raised their voices while arguing and turn to the chicks quickly, scared that they woke them by accident with their outburst. Luckyly they're still asleep so they sigh in relief.

Arthur: (calmer and in more quiet voice) What do you mean by that?

Merlin: (calmer and in a more quiet voice too) I hate to say this, but Uther is right, you're giving the chicks a human treatment. And I understand why you do it. You want to show them that you see them as equal and you are caring for them in the only way you know. But they are not human, they are falcons and falcons don't have potties or blankets in nature. Falcons don't know what "Knight" or "Princess" mean. There's no chirp for those words in falcon vocabulary. Our chicks made them up! They shouldn't be able to do that. They shouldn't be able to understand english at all!

Arthur: And that's bad because...?

Merlin: They're going to fly and leave the nest soon. How will they adapt to nature if they never go outside these 4 walls? How will they be able to socialize with other merlins if they're basically creating their own language?

Arthur: I get your point, but they will be fine. If you want them to have their glimpse of nature so much, we can take them to the garden one of these days. But I won't take the chicks on this quest.

Merlin: (sighs) Fine, but I'm still going with you.

Arthur: Who will take care of our chicks then?

The next day. In Morgana's chambers. Merlin and Arthur talking to Morgana and Gwen, while the chicks are playing in their auntie's bed.

Arthur: and Rain likes her bird in little pieces. You don't have to take out the bones, but make sure they don't have sharp parts-

Merlin: For the love of-Just make sure the prey is clean and fresh. They know how to tear it themselfs.

Morgana: Water and birds 3 times a day. Got it.

Arthur: (gives Gwen 3 books) Their favourite tales. (Gives her 2 potties) Their potties. (Gives her a little blanket) Their blanket. You have to-

Gwen: Read them to sleep, change one potty for the other when it needs to be washed and cover the chicks at night. Am I right?

Arthur: (smiles) Exactly.

Merlin: Don't put the nest so close to the floor.

Arthur: But not too high either.

Merlin: You can show them the view from the window. They love that.

Arthur: But just with supervision. Don't let them near the window alone.

Merlin: But more importantly.

Arthur: And over all things.

Arthur and Merlin: (at the same time) Always. Close. The door.

Morgana and Gwen: (confused) ... What?

Merlin: They'll run around the place at any given chance.

Arthur: Which is fine, only and just only if they don't leave this room.

Morgana: We will, but is such precaution really necessary? They don't know how to fly yet and their legs are pretty small. How far can they go?

Arthur: Very far.

Merlin: I'll just tell you this. I'm part falcon, Which means my eyesight is 8 times better than a human's. I can spot a prey from more than a mile away. And yet Blizzard escaped my sight when he got lost at the feast. So don't understimate them, Morgana. Close. The. Door.

Rain: (on a pillow, chirps loudly) Help! Help!

Morgana: (Runs fast to her bed, worried) What is it Rain? Are you okay?

Arthur: Oh, don't worry. She's just playing.

Morgana: Playing? Playing what?

Merlin: They call it "The Princess' rescue".

Blizzard: (puts himself infront of Rain standing up high, stretching his wings, and makes a raw chirp)

Guardian and Brave: (pretend they are dodging something and "attack" Blizzard)

Merlin: Rain is the Princess, Blizzard the dragon that holds her capture and Guardian and Brave the knights that come to her rescue.

Wary: (makes himself a ball and stays still)

Morgana: (to Wary) And what are you supposed to be?

Wary: I'm a rock 😊.

Morgana: ...

Guardian: (breaks character) He doesn't like fighting and we offer him to be the Princess once but he didn't want to.

Brave: (uses Wary to evade the dragon's attack)

Guardian: And it's perfect for hiding.

Brave: Guardian, I need help!

Guardian: Coming! (Goes back to character to help Brave) Die, Dragon! 😠 (stacks Blizzard from behind)

Gwen: (Looks at Morgana strangely)

Morgana: (turns to Gwen) What?

Gwen: You can really communicate with birds? I thought you were just pretending to make the chicks more comfortable.

Morgana: Oh, no. I did a translation spell on Arthur and then Merlin did the same spell on me. So now we both can understand merlin language.

Gwen: That's so cool! 😃

Morgana: Want me to do the spell on you too? 😏

Gwen: (thoughtful) Hmmm... I don't know. I feel like this is more a family thing and I know myself. I'll probably end up talking with them constantly and people'll think I'm insane.

Morgana: (holds her hand and looks at her fondly, smiling) Well, if you ever want to, you can ask me.

Gwen: (smiles back and blushes a little)

Arthur and Merlin: ...

Arthur: Well, we're leaving.

Merlin: (turns to bird form and flies to his chicks) My chicks, Mama and Papa must leave now. Be good falcons and always listen to auntie Morgana and Gwen.

Chicks: (stop playing and go to Merlin) Yes, Mama. 😊

Merlin: (Gives them each one a kiss on the head with his beak)

Arthur: (picks up Rain) Goodbye, my baby girl. (Touches Rain's beak with his nose fondly, kisses her head and puts her back on the bed gently. Then picks up Wary) Goodbye, little bean. (Touches Wary's beak with his nose and kisses his head too. Puts him back on the bed and picks up Blizzard) Goodbye, little demon. (Points a finger at him warnly) And behave.

Blizzard: (pecks Arthur's finger defiantly, like saying "You can't tell me what to do")

Arthur: (rolls his eyes and puts him back. Then picks up Brave) Goodbye, Brave. (Shakes the feathers of his head fondly and puts him back on the bed. Then picks up Guardian) Goodbye, Guardian. I know you'll keep them in place.

Guardian: (brings his little wing to his head like a soldier)

Arthur: (makes the gesture too laughing a little and puts him back on the bed. Then speaks to all of them) We'll be back as soon as we can, okay, babies? I love you.

Chicks: Bye, Papa. Love you too. 😊

Merlin: (flies to Arthur's shoulder)

Morgana: (hugs Arthur and pats Merlin's head goodbye) Take care.

Arthur: We will.

Gwen: (bows both Arthur and Merlin) Have a good journey. Your chicks are in good hands.

Arthur: (smiles) Thank you. (gives a last look to his chicks and finally leaves with Merlin)

Morgana: Wow, than went better than I expected.

Gwen: What do you mean?

Morgana: Well, with how spoiled they are, I though the chicks would start crying and begging them not to go.

Guardian: We are big chicks.

Blizzard: Yeah, we don't cry.

Brave: Crying is for hatchlings.

Rain: And is not the first time Papa and Mama leave us with you, anyways.

Morgana: (impressed) It's true. It's nice to see you're more mature now. (To Gwen) They say they are big chicks and won't cry just because their parents left for three days.

Gwen: Awww. See? Taking care of them won't be so hard. (Picks up Brave) Who is a good baby? You are! 🤗

Brave: I'm not a baby 😠. I'm a big chick.

Gwen: You're so cute! 🥰

Brave: NO! I'm a predator! Fear me! 😤

Morgana: (laughs)

Time skip. At night. Morgana and Gwen taking the chicks to bed.

Gwen: (carrying the books) Which one should we read them?

Morgana: (On bed with the nest with the chicks on her lap) Let me ask them. (To the chicks) Which tale would your prefer tonight, big chicks? "The princess and the frog" or-

Rain: Where are Mama and Papa?

Morgana: (confused) In their quest. Outside.

Rain: But they are too late!

Guardian: Yeah, they are always here by story time. What if something happened to them?

Brave: A Predator! 😨

Blizzard: Mama and Papa were eaten by a predator?! 😱

Wary: Mama and Papa are dead! 😭

Morgana: No! Of course not! Mama and Papa are fine. Didn't they tell You they were going to be out for three days?

Rain: Yeah, Mama and Papa are always out for three something.

Morgana: (confused) Three something?

Wary: (still crying) Three hours, three minutes, three seconds. 😭

Rain: Yeah, that. I don't know what the difference is.

Morgana: (pales) Oh, gods.

Gwen: What is it? What did they say?

Morgana: They don't know how much time a day is. That's why they were so chill before. They thought their parents were going to be back in three hours at most!

Gwen: Oh, shit.

Rain: I want Mama and Papa! 😭

Wary: I don't want Mama and Papa to be dead! 😭

Brave: Bring Mama and Papa! 😭

Blizzard: I'll revenge Mama and Papa's death! 😭

Guardian: Stop saying Mama and Papa are dead! They are not dead! 😭

Morgana: Exactly. Mama and Papa are not dead. They are just going to be outside longer than usual. Please, don't cry. You are big chicks, remember?

Chicks: (keep crying) 😭😭😭😭😭

Gwen: (Gives Morgana a book) Maybe if you start reading them they'll calm down.

Morgana: Yes! Who wants to hear a story? 🤗

Chicks: (Stop crying for moment, though they are still sad) Me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺.

Morgana: (Opens the book and starts reading) Once upon a time-

Rain: That's not how Papa does it! 😭

Blizzard: I can't see the pictures from here! 😭

Wary: I want Papa's shoulder! 😭

Brave: I want Mama's shoulder! 😭

Guardian: I'm a big chick, I'm a big chick! 😭

Morgana: (Gives a long sigh) This is going to be a long night.

...

What do you think is going to happen next? Are the chick going to get into trouble? 👀

[marzinstarz]

BoB WEBSITE CODE MASTERLIST:

COUNT -> 100

BOOK OF BILL

"Hide it under shirt during pledge of allegiance"

PINES

"A good family tree"

STANFORD PINES

His 18 y/o medical report

STANLEY PINES

Ebay page for brass knuckles

BABBA

Full recording of Dipper singing

WEIRDMAGEDDON

News article from after the fact

BILL CIPHER

Wikipedia page for 'triangle'

HECTORING

Church meeting recording

WADDLES

Pig adoption page

TRIANGLE

")"

"Tri harder"

MYSTERY SHACK

Google page for 'Confusion Hill'

GRAVITY FALLS

"Never heard of it"

DISNEY

"rat.gif censored for your protection"

T.J. ECKLEBURG

"Never mention that name again"

DEATH

"Life's goth cousin"

LIFE

"Life 72% complete. Now loading:  Death"

SKELETON

"The one with the sword! He found you!"

WENDY

A note from Wendy about warding off evil triangles

ROBBIE

Thompson and Robbie's messages about summoning bill

MONSTER

Google search for "THERES A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK"

SOOS

Soos's message about life at the mystery shack

PINATA

A video of a bill cipher pinata getting beat up

MCGUCKET

Link to youtube video of "Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe"

MABEL

Adds stickers to the page until it reads "Lab now fully mabelised"

DIPPER

A note from bill telling Dipper to stare at the sun

TAD STRANGE

An oddly sexual video of bread

LOVE

A romance novel called "The Love Triangle" with an audio recording of the first chapter

CIPHER

Wikipedia page for "Eye of Providence"

TOBY DETERMINED

Google page for "Restraining order"

GIDEON

Google page for "Sweat resistant bolo ties"

QUESTION

"Answer"

MYSTERY

"?"

Any swear word

"Not S&P Approved" notice

PORTAL

"Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build one"

GUN

"Oh yes oh yes they both"

SEASON 1

"Season -1: Antigravity falls"

SEASON 2

"Season 1"

SEASON 3

 "Season 2"

DEER TEETH

"For you, kid!"

BLIND EYE

A faux eye test page filled with codes that someone smarter than me need to decode

FILBRICK

"I'm not impressed"

BLENDIN

"Time agent lost and presumed incompetent"

JOURNAL 1

"The journal of fun"

JOURNAL 2

"The journal for you"

JOURNAL 3

"The journal for me"

ALEX HIRSCH

Google page for "Flannel"

GOD/FRILLIAM

Video of an axolotl swimming in front of a Bill statue

AXOLOTL

"You ask alotl questions"

WEIRD

A video of Weird Al stuck inside the computer

TITAN'S BLOOD

"Hoot. Hoot. Password please!"

BAAAA

A poem about a shepherd

SUCK IT MERLIN

Art labelled "The Bastard Triangle Cuts the Unicorns Hair" 1499

BABY

An ultrasound of baby Bill

MASON

Dipper's note to ford on anagrams

CRYPTOGRAM CODEX

Downloads a zip file containing fonts of codes and runes

I'M STILL ON YOUR MIND

A video of Stan and Ford on the Stan O' War II, with a colour block code

SORRY

The full image of Ford and Fiddleford at collage

FBI/CIA

Your webcam is on. We are watching."

DUCKTECTIVE

"Ducktective stars in 'Love, Quacktually' coming to 'Oi, it's the Cockney Channel innit?' this fall"

EVEN HIS LEGS ARE LIES

A note from Bill about Fords place as a perfect pawn

DIVORCE

"O' SADLEYS" Logo

SEVEN EYES

Image of the oracle with a warning on the back

R34LITY

Images of Bill and his henchmen in the real world, message reading "They found a new home"

BLANCHIN

Youtube tutorial on how to blanch vegetables

PACIFICA

A note from Pacifica about what a loser Bill is

PLATINUM PAZ

A story of how Bill tried to enlist Pacifica to steal the time rift before turning to Blendin

EUCLYDIA

"Dimension not found"

SCALENE/EUCLID

"Life form not found"

IRREGULAR

Bill's mug shots

LOVE YA BRO

Drawing of Stan catching a mermaid

XYLER

Youtube link to Jem and the Holograms theme

UNIVERSE

"Hologram"

HOLOGRAM

"Universe"

NOTHING

"Something"

SOMETHING

"Nothing"

HORROR

Urban legend story of the 'Always Garden' a restaurant you cant leave

MATPAT

A video of Matpat tell us were on our own T-T

ONE EYED KING

A hypnosis video with Bill audio convincing you to pledge your soul to him

CURSE WITTEBANE

A Bill Cipher ouija board

BURNSIDE

"Burned inside"

EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES

A snippet of Bill's therapy sessions talking of what ford was to him

WELL WELL WELL BEING

"Patient file: Bill Cipher. Greatest love: Himself. Greatest fear: Himself"

"Art therapy notes: All he draws are red and blue triangles"

"Patient's odd phobias: 3D Glasses. Venetian blinds. TV static."

JUST FIT IN

An old game commercial for "Perfection" with a snippet of Bill's [?] voice at the end

TANTRUM

A transcript of a fight between Bill and the Time Baby, sheds light on Bill's crime against his home dimension

PAPER IS BOOK SKIN

Downloads a photoshop file full of skin layers

SKIBIDI/RIZZ

"Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas."

DORITO

Creepy jump scare video

SCARY

A novel cover for "Spookemups" with and audio sniper of the story

GIFFANY

"Input deleted. AI Antiviral activated"

"Warning: Secondary firewall breached"

"Fatal warning. System under attack"

"Soos! I still love you! We will be together"

"Now downloading girlfriend. (This action cannot be undone)"

Then downloads a zip file full of link to Giffany gifs

BOOBERRY

A shockingly uplifting poem from Bill with a little image of him as a melting candle

Words that do not trigger the buzzer : BUBBLE, BUTTON, CLEAR, MUSIC