#Mod: Other Alter
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~ ~ MODS ! ! ~ ~

#MOD : Tighnari



Tighnari ; 🥝🍼 ; Brainmade ; Little ; Host ; He / They / It / Xe
#MOD : Kris



Kris ; 🔪🍎 ; Deltarune ; Boundary Protector ; They / It / Dread / Horror
#MOD : Dazai



Dazai ; 💄☕ ; Bungo Stray Dogs ; Protector ; She / Any prns
#MOD : Chuuya



Chuuya ; ☕🎩 ; Bungo Stray Dogs ; Protector ; He / She
#Mod : Other Alter #Herlper : Aesop
Aesop ; 🧵🤍 ; Singlet ; Friend / Brother ; He / They / It

If another alter updates a lot, this information will be updated!
#Mod: 🥝Tighnari🍼#Mod: 🔪Kris🍎#Mod: 💄Dazai☕#Mod: ☕Chuuya🎩#Mod: 🧵Aesop🤍#Mod: Other Alter#❤︎ ~ We assume you're looking for this ; INFO
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tips for a wolf who needs to clean their den (bedroom)?
Tips to help a wolf who needs to clean their den!
pt: Tips to help a wolf who needs to clean their den! end pt
if you like thinking about packmates, think of cleaning your den as a responsibility you take on to help the rest of your pack! your fellow wolves all do their part, and this is yours!
wolves are creatures of endurance, not speed! it might be a good idea to take it one part at a time, maybe space out the cleaning over a few days or even weeks. you dont need to sprint through it! tune into that long-distance wolf nature and give yourself time!
before you start cleaning, put some fun toys, prey like plushes, or (wrapped) snacks about the room! now youre foraging or hunting, and you need to move around the wilderness (clean and organize) to find your prey!
take the time to organize the space in a way that appeals to your wolf side! maybe pile blankets and pillows in a way that feels like a little den, or put up some photos of wolves or nature! instead of dreading cleaning, get excited about the chance to change some things up!
wolves are pack animals, ask for help! if you feel overwhelmed its ok to ask friends/family/loved ones/ etc to help you out! its not a sign of weakness, its brave to ask for assistance with an overwhelming task!
i hope these tips can help you! i struggle a lot to keep up with cleaning as well, i totally understand. good luck, and remember not to blame yourself for struggling. its totally ok!! - 👾
[ID in alt!]
#mod 👾#wolfhearted#wolf kin#wolf therian#wolf#canine therian#caninekin#caninehearted#canine#therianthrope#therianthropy#therian#otherkin community#otherhearted#alterhuman community#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#otherfolk#nonhuman alter#non human#nonhumanity#alterbeing#alterhumanity#otherkinity#otherlink#otherfolkkin#other folk
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btw guys, most of my recent love posts have been about my girlfriend/beloved-im-not-dating-who-we-sometimes-tell-others-we’re-dating. I have never been in an aro4aro relationship where i’m loved by them like this before and it’s so nice. I was really okay with dating allos and I still am but this is a unique understanding i am lucky to get the chance to have. And I never thought I would. so if you’re out there, and love feels years away, take care of yourself, understand yourself, and be mindful. If you take healthy steps and keep going on, you can find someone where you least expect it.
#alterous attraction#alterous#mod vex#aromantic#aplatonic#it’s been like#very heart warming seeing what i post about her get reblogged#cause every day we say how lucky we are#and i celebrate my love with her and without her#(i don’t really tell her what posts are about her but she’s knows the blog and knows i post)#but it’s so comforting to see others reblog it and feel it or understand it or like it#but even larger it’s much more comforting to be reminded. ah yes. i love her so much i made art. of course
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The rest of the system: who is this new alter?
That one alter that knows everything about the system:
#mod adachi#Do any other systems experience this?#I swear there's always that one alter that knows everything#For us it has to be Ruka#did#osdd#system#system help#dissociative identity disorder#actually did#mental health#memes
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hello! could we ask for a koi fish mermaid headmate, perhaps? or a tubbo headmate of any variation, but preferrably with the role of caring for the body? thank you in advance! have a lovely day!!!
order up!
name(s) - Abyssal , Alkali , Allur , Bay , Brim , Brine , Brooks , Cecaelia , Cloud , Coastal , Coral/Coralie , Cordelia , Delilah , Dooriya , Flood , Gale , Irv , Jubilee , Lake , Mari / Maris / Marina / Marine , Maritime , Mere , Merrick , Misty , Oceana , Pollyanna , Riverine / Riviera , Seashore , Seaside , Seawater , Serena , Shore , Siren / Syren / Syrin , Storm , Summer , Sylph , Thalassa , Themis , Tide , Whirlwind , Windstorm, Aquamarine , aquatique , astraea , astro , athena , atolla , aura , aurelia , aurita , aurite , baia , bio , biolumine , blanche , blu , blue , bluette , bubble , capillata , caru , cassiopeia , cephea , chiro , chrysali , chrysao , cnidaria , coral , coralle , cordelie / cordelia , cosima , cosmo , crystal , crystalle , cyanea , cyanei , dentelle , divinity , dove.
pronouns - They / She / It / Blu / Blue / Blues / Cora / Coral / Corals / Cove / Coves / Coves / Drift / Drifts / Drifts / Ebb / Ebbs / Ebbs, Fi / Fin / Fins / Fo / Foam / Foams / Ke / Kelp / Kelps / Oce / Ocea / Ocean / Pe / Pearl / Pearls / Ree / Reef / Reefs / Sal / Sals / Sals / Se / Sea / Seas / Shel / Shell / Shells / So / Shore / Shores / Star / Fish / Starfishes / Ti / Tide / Tidal / Wa / Wave / Was / Blub / Bubble / Fish / Sing / Song / Splish / Splash / ⚡️/⚡️self / 🫧/🫧self / 🌊/🌊self.
gender(s) - agender fem , merfolk , mereic , mermaidcore , sirenish , merlikic , merblood/merfolkblood , sirenblood , mermonster , sirenmonster , autimeric/autimerfolkic , genderaqua , oceandream , sirekenic , creauterelle , thalassagender , seacreature , seaperilic , auramaric , seatix , autisirenic , merplayful , merpuplayful , merplaymate , mergender , phosirenial , merive , gendermerpup , merenvic.
orientations - sapphic , nmlnm , polyamorous.
role(s) - protector , soother , sister figure.
species - koi fish mermaid.
source(s) - brainmade
emoji(s) - 🐠 , 🐟 , 🧜 , 🧜♂️ , 🧜♀️ , 🎏 , 🦪 , 🐚 , 🌊 , 🪸.
faceclaims -
( 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 )

name(s) - Tubbo , Ram , Beloved , Toby , Doe , Fox , Tango , Faren , Pan , Faun , Bee , Clay , Dawn , Loaf , Moth , Luna , Eclipse , Stella , Flora , Buzz , Bug , Spyder , Flora , Forge , Garnet , Granite , Grayson , Harper , Hazel , Hero , Holly , hopper , iris , ivy , jade , jett , juniper , lapis , laurel , lilac , lily , magnolia , maple , marigold , mason , meadow , miner , mira , moss , nova , oak , onyx , opal , pearl , pebble , poppy , prairie , pyre , quill , red , reed , river , rocky , rose , rowan.
pronouns - he / ram / horn / headbutt / bzz / bee / book / write / explo / toxic / nuke / buzz / dawn / presi / civil / baa / fawn / flor / flower / petal / a / axe / adventurer / axe / birch / blaze / block / build / bun / cake / chest / clay / cobble / cow / craft / dark / dig / disc / end / eye / fight / flint / forge / fox / ghast / glow / goat / heal / hive / hx / hxm / hy / hym / ice / lava / love / mob / oak / ocean / ore / pearl / pick / pig / play / ram / sea / sapling / sheep / shx / hxr / shy / hyr / skele / skeleton / slime / smelt / smp / snow / stone / survivor / sword / teleport / thxy / thxm / thy / thym / tnt / tnt / tor / torch / tree / ve / vex / vwoop / warrior / water / wood / xp / xp.
gender(s) - Boy(?) , UuuuuuuuhhhhMasc , SomethingMasc , Genderwhat , dimedowic , floraine , sheepcoric , sheeptransmasculine , starlemonic , tailic , fleecygender , maskgender , RAAAHHemotionic , Forestpicnicmulviboard , Beemoviescriptic , Cakehoneybeena , Sunnysummermulviboard , mossygoatgender , softpancakic , groggymorninggender , stargrapegender , arienfernian , hornjewelryaesic , goatgender , ramgender , goatplushic , starryapplegender.
orientations - bisexual , ambiamorous.
role(s) - caregiver , caretaker , soother , hygienist , body caretaker , taskdoer.
species - humany goaty thing.
source(s) - c!tubbo , DSMP.
emoji(s) - 🐝 , 🍯 , 🌻 , 🌼 , 🐐 , 🐏 , 🐑 , 🌿 , 🌱.
likes - bees and other bugs , friends , the color green , flowers , drawing , sourcemates , goats and sheep , animals and pets.
dislikes - being alone , people being hurt , rude people , fireworks , loudness.
front triggers - Sourcemates , friends , other source media, goats/rams , bees , explosives , fireworks , the system being threatened , being alone , the body needing care.
personality description - a rather hyperactive part , very energetic and interactive with friend and people bee likes to be around. he prefers to be near people rather than alone, and goes along with most things asked of him unless he outwardly has an issue with it. he enjoys making things like friendship bracelets from time to time.
faceclaims -
( 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 )

#✦ 一 ding!#✦ 一 headmate pack#✦ 一 mod 🌈#✦ 一 mod 🌧️🌼#I KNOW U ASKED FOR ONE OR THE OTHER BUT I COULDN'T DECIDE!!#SO RAH!!! HERE YOU GO!!!#alter packs#build an alter#build a headmate#headmate creation#alter creation#id pack#headmate pack#headmate template#create a headmate#bah blog#alter pack#baa blog#alterpacks
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not a request BUT THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING FROM US!!! Yall we're our first ever request :3
hhehehehh . .
we love requesting from any bah blog who intracts with us .
we must show love back to the community who has helped us form oh so many headmates , the community who taught us that being endogenic is okay because , well . because it just simply is okay ,
so , if any bah blog has intracted / wishes to intract with with us , expect to have a request from us , whether we send it anonymously or not ,
also also , if you are a newer blog , make yourself known to us , we love the newer blogs , we will spam inboxs with requests if youd like us too ,
^ we do live with over 700 known fragments , though only about . . 400 are radqueer / have communication with the radqueer sidesystems ,
the other ~300 are in the mainsys and other non-radqueer sidesystems , which mostly they do not have an opinion on radqueers , but they are not anti , its somewhere between neutral and anti , i suppose . . they are neutral with a slight lean towards being anti , but they will not harass anyone ,
adding the important tag cause i feel that this is important info for critters to know :D ,
— Temporary Mod 🦴 .
#﹒freak shit ; important / announcement#﹒he who temporarily rose from the grave ; posted by temporary mod 🦴#﹒other shit ; not a request#bah blog#build an alter#build a headmate#pro endo#pro para#pro paraphile#pro radqueer#pro transid#🌈🍓 safe#radqueer 🌈🍓#pro rq 🌈🍓#actually plural#actually paraphilic
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fyodor bsd pack with as much info as you're willing to provide & any creative liberties? really feel free to do whatever. :)
HEREE YOU GO!!! We already did a Fyodor pack here, so this one will be shorter!!!
Name: Fyodor , Alexios , Cassian , Cyrus , Elias , Maximos , Oran , Raphael
Pronouns: He / Him , It / Its , Rot / Rots , Angel / Angels , Sera / Phim , Cleanse / Cleanses , Pure / Pures , Pray / Prayer , Holy / Holys , ✝️ / ✝️s , ⛪ / ⛪s , 🙏 / 🙏s , 🐭 / 🐭s , 🐁 / 🐁s
Gender: Xenogenders
Sexuality: Straight
Source: Fyodor Dostoevsky - Bungo Stray Dogs
Faceclaims: @/j11nko, @/clemenlush, @/sailor-4lexa, @/creantzy
Aesthetics: Dark Academia , Gothic , Catholic Horror , Medieval Fantasy
Front Triggers:
Religious imagery
Stormy weather
External conflict
Other Info:
Whenever it fronts during stormy weather, it feels sick (even if the body isn't actually sick).
It sees itself as something other than human and as a result, highly prefers it/its pronouns.
^ It also uses xenogenders for this reason
It is more of a cat person than a dog person, although it distrusts all animals equally.
#HELP so MAYBE the other info section is mostly stuff about sirius but now its also about this fyodor too !!#also its kinda funny that the thing that pushed us to finishing this was needing a break from our minecraft world with ~7 horror mods LOL#created bah ✩ˎˊ˗#posts ✩ˎˊ˗#pro radq#radq#radqueer#rqc🌈🍓#alter packs#alterpacks#build a headmate#build an alter#headmate creation#headmate pack#create a headmate#create an alter#create a system#willowgenic#endo safe#endo friendly#created alter#created system
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i tend to use money cheats when i play sims bc i love decorating but i also love using mods and for some reason there are so many modded objects that are priced very...oddly. i just bought my sims a box of kleenex that costs 800 simoleons
#liv rambles#why......i don't really make mods other than for altering hair colors so i don't know how this happens lol
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can i get a level 2 for emily from class of 09? with extra roles and triggers please c:

We got these requests back to back, so I just combined them, if you don't like any part of the pack, that's okay, you don't have to use it! :) we also did not know this source so we used the wiki as best we could-
Reminder headmates may turn out differently and this is completely normal :)
Pack under the cut~
Name(s) - Emily
Gender - demigirl
Pronouns - she/her, they/them, it/its
Species - human
Age range - to allow through my own rule, probably somewhere between 18-20
Orientation - bisexual
Role(s) - bpd holder, Anger Holder, grudge holder, prosecutor, advocate, bitch, black sheep, arsonist, hypersexuality holder, sensual reliever
Source - class of '09
Faceclaim(s) - all taken off the wiki
Sign-off ideas - 🧨🔥🧋🏵🌼🌻🌺💢💥💣🗣 (any or combo)
Likes - social media, doing things out of spite, music, sweet drinks, expressing her feelings
Dislikes - school, family, having to take medicine, people pretending to like certain bands/artists, being called out about her mental illnesses
Aesthetic -



Potential front triggers - someone upsetting the collective, feelings of being abandoned, needing to speak up, telling someone off, fire, wanting to commit violent acts
Paras - θη, 💭🧿,🥚, ☠️️, ❣️,🦖,💐,💤,🔱,🛍,🥇,🫀,🩸,🔥,🩹,👀,🚨,🔪, ⛓️,💧, 🪢,🔗,📸,❤️🩷🩶🤍🖤
#mods 🐏🐺🐑#our little secret~#a little white lie~#build a headmate#build an alter#headmate creation#headmate pack#create a headmate#i won't tag the other trio who's been working on this /lh
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any raccoon therian tips?
tips for raccoons!
pt: tips for raccoons! end pt
do “raccoon eye” eyeliner!! lots of emo people online will have tutorials for it!
make/commission a therian mask!
practice sleight of hand, an instrument, drawing, or another thing you can do with your clever grabby raccoon hands!
reuse everything! thrift lots! give into that scavenger instinct!
make/get tail and ear gear!
dress in lots of greys and stripes!
black gloves!!
decorate your living space in a sort of charming cluttered/messy way!
wash your fruits/veggies/etc raccoon style before eating them!
hope you like these!
-
🧪
[ID in alt!]
#mod🧪#raccoonhearted#raccoon therian#raccoon kin#raccoonkin#otherkin community#otherhearted#alterhuman community#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#otherfolk#otherkinity#nonhuman alter#therianthrope#therianthropy#therian#theriotype#therian community#therian things#therian stuff#other folk#otherkith#otherlink#alterbeing#alterhumanity#non human#nonhumanity#voidpunk
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i love being explicitly alterous. I love keeping convential attraction I don’t feel textually out of the conversation. I love seeing loveless aros explicitly reject love. I love seeing asexuals deliberately represent their separations from their feelings and what they wish to do with themselves. I love writing out what everyone has assumed of us for so long. There is soooo many ways allonormativity gets pressed on in culture but there are so many ways it has exceeded that as well. I love people talking about this non sexual attraction driven sex life. I love aros talking about their non romantic love life. I love the fucking spectrum of different ways we find being most comfortable for ourselves that is different than what many people have assumed or judged for even passively. Friends, family, strangers, they go out of their way to say weird stuff about these experiences or labels or life choices sometimes and they don’t even know people are living full lives. I love seeing even a fraction of a look into those full lives. Because honestly, not everyone needs to know or hear the labels that fit me in order for me to explain my experience and have it be something that works for me. And I love every single person in the queer community that is able to find themselves through these things in queer subcultures. It’s existed within many trans, lesbian, and gay spaces as well, and it’s one of my favorite things about the larger lgbtqia+ model. lesbians talking about specifically lesbian love. trans people talking about t4t love. same with many others. there are big umbrella terms that fit within have many of these labels. It’s beautiful, it’s individual, and it’s what so much of our modern history has been built on. Going outside the norm, conforming to our hearts instead of with being told it isn’t natural. It is. It really is.
#alterous#lgbt#lgbtqia#gay#lesbian#transgender#bisexual#queer#aromantic#asexual#loveless aro#loveless aromantic#aromantic spectrum#sorry someone was hating on me and others the other night for being trans and my thoughts on this have made me. feel things#usually i don’t talk about the whole commmunity but like. idk this is why aromanticism and asexuality is a bit inherently queer to me. even#if it’s not stereotypically lumped in. like. aromantic as a word has history.#and i think everyone is finding themself in their own way. we are all alike. we are all very different. we all live and go on and etc.#mod vex
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good evening, would you care to make an alter pack related to sour gummy worms and CHOKE by IDKHOW?
hold the door!! someone's coming in!
name(s) - Phobia , Dax , Dallon , Doc , Astoria , Ripley , Кыан , Pyro , Gummy , Splatt , Scotch , Caine , Mick , Mark.
pronouns - it / they / he / bite / fuck / byte / choke / cut / gore / dirt / fight / burn / flame / fog / sour / candy / gummy / x / xe / xym / song / acid / zap / rot / smoke / mirror pronouns.
gender(s) - boything , Darlingvamp , Bloodbandal , Bloressific , Canilovin , Rosegore , SourSprayCandygender , Sourpunchcandygender , Sourwarheadcandygender , Sourlemonic , Candyic , Gummyic , Gumyic , Souryaic , Dulceaeris.
orientations - damiromantic pan.
role(s) - co-host , Anger Holder , Buffer , trauma holder.
species - human..?
source(s) - songtive , CHOKE - IDKHOW
emoji(s) - 🪅 , 🩸 , 🔴 , 💉 , 🔪 , 🌈 , 🍬.
faceclaims -
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#✦ 一 ding!#✦ 一 headmate pack#✦ 一 mod 🌈#✦ 一 mod 👑🍊#✦ 一 mod 🌧️🌼#this was hard as i've never listened to the song#but i think its pretty good!#pretty baller tunes!!#only did this before the other requests because they're all subsystems#build a headmate#alter packs#headmate pack#id pack#headmate creation#alter creation#build an alter#headmate template#create a headmate#alterpacks#alter pack
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do you guys ever accidentally introject your own packs ? .
like what the fuck guys 😭 . our system usually works by like , in a way , downloading information for our fragments to latch onto . so usually when introjecting from packs ( or anywhere really ) they come just about exactly like the pack / source states .
fun , right ? . except now we have the monster energy conceptive that we did and fags already managed to create a polycule with thirteen other sysmates , and two of them are in an entirely different layer 😭 .
— Mod 🪀 .
#﹒i became permanent ; posted by mod 🪀#﹒other shit ; not a request#bah blog#build a headmate#build an alter#pro endo#pro para#pro paraphile#pro radqueer#pro transid#🌈🍓 safe#radqueer 🌈🍓#pro rq 🌈🍓#actually plural#actually paraphilic
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Fear anon here. I think it's funny you liked my ask that much, it's really just an expression of, yes, fear.
If you're curious, I'm a fictionkin, and I fear J**y a bit, so that's where that came from. I hope that's allowed on this blog, I didn't see anything that says it's not.
But I can continue to send in asks and try to make them funny, if you want?
I hope you at least somewhat enjoy my presence, it feels nice to be noticed by someone important and super cool, even in such a small way.
-Call me Fear
//honestly? im scared of joey too lol. and a few others(mostly those who were/are silhouettes on the ref sheets,) but thats cos of the whole IRL thing haha. why do u think my names wally?
anyways yeah thats allowed on here lol dont worry. i think youre pretty cool too, fear anon. thank you for sending me asks i like getting them :) //
#“wally” mod#《mod speaks》#i have a few other friends that are irls/alters and such and i dont get the hate for that#like for instance. norman mod is a fictive and has several other fictives within its system. and thats why some of the characters' pronouns-#-on here are different than “canon.'' cos. yknow. Stuff Happens
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🛸 welcome to ufo-bah !!
inbox status; requests closed !!
⠀⠀ hi, welcome to our spooky little extraterrestrial-themed build-a-headmate blog!! this blog is ran by multiple members of the void collective.
⠀⠀ dividers credit!!
👽 what we can do !!
fictives/factives of any source under the sun! we are very much willing to do research on any unfamiliar sources.
introjects of other natures; songtives, mixtives, foodtives, plushtives, anddd a multitude of others!!
brainmades!!
any “problematic” or “controversial” headmates, whoever or whatever those may be.
subsystems of up to five alters. up to level one and one add-on only per alter, however.
you can request up to two alters per ask, but anything more than that, subsystem rules will apply.
probably anything else lmao, just ask if you're unsure!!
🌠 keep in mind !!
you can be as specific or vague as you want with your request!! just keep in mind we will be going off what you send.
if no level is indicated in your ask, we will default to a foo fighter/level 1 pack.
for one reason or another, requests might come in slow!! as much as possible however, we try to pump these out as soon as motivation hits.
though we've made it pretty clear we're willing to tackle just about anything, we still have the right to deny a request if it makes us uncomfortable. the cosmos are vast, you never know what's out there!!
anons; ♠️🐺, ☄️🌁, 🦎🍓, ✨🐾, 🍹, 🐇🪽, 🌱📦
⭐ templates can be found under the cut ⭐
🪐 main levels 🪐
feel free to mix n' match these and remove any parts you don't want!!
foo fighter / level 1
name(s) ;
age ;
pronouns ;
gender ;
orientation ;
species ;
source ;
role(s) ;
faceclaims ;
flying saucer / level 2
likes ;
dislikes ;
personality ;
hexcode ;
source connection ; (if applicable)
emoji sign-off(s) ;
rocket ship / level 3
aesthetic(s) ;
kintypes ;
typing quirk(s) ;
verbality ;
🪐 optional add-ons 🪐
again, feel free to mix n' match these to your liking!! we just put most of them into bundles that we thought would be matched together the most.
eclipse / add-on bundle 1
cisids ;
transids ;
paraphilias ;
muds ;
meteor shower / add-on bundle 2
moodboard ;
mini-playlist ;
supermoon / add-on bundle 3
zodiac sign ;
attachment style ;
love language(s) ;
d&d alignment ;
black holes / misc add-ons
since these take quite a long time to do, you may only add up to two of these to your pack
uquiz results ; (basically we take a few personality uquizzes based on the headmate's choices, and we include the results!)
trinket hoard ; (we assemble a collage of trinkets—think keychains, plushies, stim toys, etc—that the headmate may own or want to own.)
fashion kit ; (exactly what it says on the tin! what the headmate's wears, or their desired fashion style.)
tarot spread ; (we randomly shuffle some cards which reflect the headmate's energy! the default is 3 cards, but you can have up to 9, just specify.)
🪐 wild cards 🪐
just for fun, hehe!!
hailey's comet / wild card 1
send this in to receive a songtive based on a randomly shuffled song from our playlist
wormhole / wild card 2
send this in to receive a random foodtive
asteroid belts / ask games
ask game 1. ask game 2. ask game 3.
#🛸 the truth is out there 🛸 ; request finished.#🛸 extraterrestrial contact 🛸 ; ask answered.#🛸 do you think i'm spooky? 🛸 ; announcement.#👽 mod mulder !! 👽#🌻 mod scully!! 🌻#🔥 mod meli!! 🔥#🎱 mod nate!! 🎱#💾 mod lain !! 💾#build a headmate#bah blog#bah#alter packs#create a headmate#headmate pack#pro endo#pro endogenic#pro willogenic#endo safe#rq safe#pro rq 🌈🍓#radqueer safe#🛸 i want to believe ; bah pack. 🛸#🛸 otherworldly visitors ; other bah packs. 🛸
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head empty when it comes to putting ic words on the dash... but at the same time, agender/nonbinary yishai shepard is living in my mind rent-free i fear. thinking about this and its relation to yishai's intensely strong empathy for the geth and for edi: beings crafted as tools of labour and war (in terms of the geth) and intelligence, as tools of service to a master. things to whom autonomy was denied, their freedoms shackled, their enquiries towards their own identities — and their rights to simply be — seen as threats to be crushed underfoot.
there is a reason he rarely, rarely ever chooses the destroy ending, and a reason that he is so utterly crushed and devastated when he does. (and he is contrite until the geth and edi are brought fully back to functionality — however i plan to make that happen in my happy ending — and even after.)
#i love my he/him guy who is not really Anything .. u know what i mean?? anywho his bio says 'pan/queer (unlabelled ic)' for a reason.#for him... to put a label to his experience in terms of sexuality and attraction means Defining himself in some way. and also giving a fuck#& he does not feel a connection to his body (nor to gender/pronouns) unless in the context of battle/combat/fighting/some similar purpose#acknowledging that disconnect and the fact that his experience of gender falls outside human norms does also require self-reflection#and he is not keen to self-reflect where emotions are involved. BUT he recognises this in other things that were sculpted and carved-#-to such a degree as he was. in beings like edi and the geth. things that are 'lesser to organics' — ofc this doesn't happen until me2#when he gets the chance to work past his paranoia on the sr2 re: edi and the cerberus crew + when he gets to interact with legion.#hm. in terms of physical and romantic attraction. he's capable i think of being attracted to anyone and anything#BUT he is drawn very much to beings that can understand his experience. ppl/things who Know what it's like to have their existence Shaped-#into something against their will. or maybe they never had any choice at all; they were brought into this world with predetermined purpose#anyway shep doesn't care abt pronouns. but he'd get no joy out of being referred to as they/it or anything else despite those fitting Best#but. if there is anyone out there who can look into his eyes and Know intimately what it is like to be him. then That is affirmation#to be known. to know he is not alone. and to be cared for and maybe even loved despite being known: that is affirmation#to be deleted.#if im quiet for a long while. its bcuz im in the depths of modding me1 and also stressing about some irl stuff. i Will return#sometimes i do think about ftm yishai and i Like it. but that would in some form alter his experience in the reds i think...#including his dynamic with dacnis and im not sure about that. being amab and agender i think is core to His personal experience#and i say this as someone who is afab/transmasc and a hot fucking mess. putting myself into his shoes in his pre alliance days#and it Does alter a few things. esp his perception + ppls perception Of him in ways im not sure abt exploring with Him in particular#for other characters most certainly — but for yishai i feel like he always grew up + was seen as + looked at and treated as a boy#and that in part has made him who he is now. but ugggghhh ftm agender yishai shepard ... i really do think abt it often...#making hmmmmm noises of contemplation rn bcuz ive debated this for Quite a time .. eternal conflict until the sun dies out#try finding that on government paperwork. \` * file: HEADCANON.#another day in yappersville ☀️ \` * file: OOC.
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