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hunzzzzz · 7 months ago

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Tell me sweet little lies: part 4 (Kendall Roy x OFC)

Summary: Diane listens in on Kendall’s therapy session, she learns that there’s so much more to the story than she ever could’ve imagined.

Warnings: smut / blowjob / reference to sex / mentions of sexual abuse

A/N: I’m so sorry if this chapters triggers anyone but I just needed to write this into Diane’s character because she’s willing to go to any lengths to bring down Kendall, even lying about anything so serious!

🧶🦊🦀🍁🔥🍊🍑🏀🌇🟠☄️💥🍅🏵️⛺️🏮🦁🧡

“So, Kendall, I noticed you've missed our last few sessions. How are you holding up?" Diane could hear a faint, static-filled voice on the other end of the line. Kendall was on the phone with his therapist.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Things have just been a bit... chaotic," Kendall mumbled.

"I understand. It's okay to take a step back when things get overwhelming. But let's focus on you now. Have you been practicing mindfulness and meditation as we discussed?" His therapist's voice was gentle, yet firm.

"Yeah, I've been trying to journal more," Kendall replied, his tone flat.

"Journaling is a great way to process your thoughts and feelings. It's important to be honest with yourself, and to validate your feelings.”

"Yeah," A long pause followed.

"What's on your mind today, Kendall?" His therapist gently prodded. "You seem... off."

"Fuck, I don't even know," Kendall admitted, his usual loquaciousness absent. "I'm a mess."

"I see. And how's your sleep been lately?"

"Shitty," Kendall replied, his voice growing quieter. "I've been having those nightmares again."

"When did they start?"

"A week or so ago," Kendall muttered.

Diane had a particularly busy week at work and despite Kendall bombarding her phone non-stop, but she hadn’t been able to make any time for him.

"Talk me through them."

"It's always the same shit," Kendall mumbled.

"Can you describe it to me?"

"I'm in the car again, in the driver's seat," Kendall began, his voice trembling. "It's dark, I can barely see. And he's there with me."

"Who's there with you?"

"The kid."

"And then what happens?"

“Something’s in the road. A car, a deer— sometimes I see myself laying in the middle of the road— other times my dad’s standing there— it— it doesn't matter, something is always there, the car swerves off the road into the water.” Kendall’s voice came out shaky, his body reliving it.

“Kendall, it's okay. You're awake, you're here. I'm here with you.” his therapist said soothingly.

Kendall choked up, barely able to speak, “There’s water, too much water and I can't breathe. And I'm drowning,” he barely gets the words out, “Why didn't I just drown?” He let out a ragged breath.

“Kendall just take a deep breath for me—“

“I try to save him every time—“ he choked out, his voice heavy with emotion, “ But he's heavy– unresponsive– Sometimes I can't find him– and– and when I do– his lifeless eyes are open– staring at me. And I can’t— I can’t save him—“ his voice broke. “Why can't I save him?”

"Okay, Kendall. It's okay. Just breathe. In and out. Good." His therapist's voice was steady and reassuring. "Now, let's ground you. Name three things you can see."

"Laptop, TV, fireplace," Kendall replied, his voice still shaky.

"Three things you can hear."

"Clock, your voice, my breathing."

"And three things you can touch."

"Table, phone, water bottle."

"Good. Now, we've talked about these nightmares before. It's okay if it's difficult, but it's important to try and identify these triggers. Sometimes, the smallest things can bring back powerful memories. Have you experienced any recent trauma, or perhaps something from your childhood is resurfacing?"

Kendall hesitated, he knew exactly what the source of his trauma was but admitting it felt like accepting a death sentence, "I don't know," he mumbled. "It's all a blur."

"That's understandable. But let's try to piece it together. Have you been in any stressful situations lately? Or maybe something in your environment is triggering these memories?"

Kendall remained silent, lost in thought. The therapist patiently waited, giving him space to process his thoughts.

"Have you tried the sleep hygiene techniques we discussed last session? White noise, meditation, and aromatherapy?"

“Yeah, I tried them all, nothing works. I even bought a 15,000 dollar aroma therapy machine and still nothing.”

“That's okay. It takes time, all that matters is that you’re trying. Sometimes recreational drugs can induce chaotic dreams too, but I know you wouldn’t be doing any of that.”

“Nope, no. I’m clean as the toilets in Buckingham palace.”

“That’s good to hear. Let's continue to work on this together. Now, you mentioned the night terrors started about a week ago. How was your sleep before that?"

"It was fine," Kendall replied. "I was sleeping like a baby."

"Did anything significant happen around that time? A change in routine, a stressful event, or a particular memory that might have triggered these nightmares?"

"Not that I can remember," Kendall lied, his voice low. He knew the truth, deep down. The improved sleep, the pleasant dreams— it was all tied to Diane. She was a distraction, a temporary reprieve from the darkness that consumed him.

"It's okay," his therapist reassured him. "I really think it would be beneficial for you to switch back to in-person sessions. I believe hypnotherapy could also be helpful in addressing your underlying issues."

"Yeah, I'll think about it," Kendall replied, his voice flat.

"Okay, well, let's focus on the present. How are you doing, aside from the night terrors?"

Diane sat on the edge of her chair, her mind racing. The fragments of Kendall's night terrors she'd overheard painted a disturbing picture. It was clear that he was reliving a traumatic event from his past, a haunting memory that continued to torment him. She was piecing together a puzzle that was far more intricate than she had initially imagined. The more she delved into Kendall Roy's life, the darker the picture became, he was much more complex, she would have to navigate through the dark alleys of his past. His night terrors, a window into a traumatic past, were just the beginning. She has her smoking gun now. There were more skeletons lurking in his closet, waiting to be exposed.

She was determined to unearth these secrets, to bring Kendall down from his pedestal and expose the truth. She was driven by a sense of justice, a desire to hold the powerful accountable. As she dug deeper, she realized that this story had the potential to shake the very foundations of the Roy empire.

The rest of the therapy session was mundane, filled with generic advice about stress management and work-life balance, co-parenting challenges, and the dissolution of his marriage. It was the kind of conversation that therapists have with countless clients every day.

—————————————————————————-

"You're a pretty hard woman to get ahold of," Kendall greeted her, a hint of amusement in his voice. She was still dressed in her work clothes. Earlier, she had eavesdropped on his therapy session, sensing his vulnerability. She had seized the opportunity to reach out, eager to pry more secrets from him.

"My apologies," she said, holding up two bottles of wine. "I come bearing gifts."

"Is this supposed to make up for ghosting me all week?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he led her into the kitchen.

"Sorry, it's been a hectic. I had a couple of deadlines to meet," she explained, kicking off her heels.

"I'm just playing with you," he said, uncorking a bottle of wine and pouring them both a glass.

"How've you been?" she asked, following him to the massive cloud couch. She tucked her legs under her, angling herself towards him.

"Yeah, been good. Busy too," he replied, running a hand through his hair. Something was clearly bothering him; he looked frazzled, his pupils dilated.

"Seems like work's got you stressed," she observed, squeezing his bicep comfortingly.

"Uh-huh," he mumbled, avoiding her gaze. "You mind if I light up in here?"

"Yeah, go ahead," she said, trying to hide her disappointment, he was being distant.

Kendall pulled out a pre-rolled joint from his pocket. "I've had a long day," he muttered, lighting it with a flickering flame.

Diane, not accustomed to smoking, took a deep inhale from the joint Kendall passed her way. A coughing fit ensued immediately. "I haven't smoked since college," she wheezed, handing it back. Her tolerance was clearly low.

Kendall chuckled, "I wouldn't have pegged you as a college pothead."

She rolled her eyes. "I only tried it a few times with friends."

"Damn, you were only in college, like, last year, right?" he asked.

"Two years ago," she corrected him.

"You act so mature for your age, even though you're practically a child," he mused, taking another hit.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" she queried.

"I don't know." He shrugged. “When I was 24, you would’ve been….” Kendall paused, racking his brain to calculate her age.

“10.” She answered for him, exhaling a puff of smoke.

"Fuck, this is so wrong," he groaned, rubbing his face. Kendall had always pushed these thoughts aside, but now, with the cruises scandal, the car crash, and this new mess, he felt like he was sitting on a ticking time bomb.

"It's only wrong if you want it to be," she murmured, her voice barely audible. "Do you want it to be wrong?" She nudged him, her desperation clear. She couldn't let him back out now. She'd invested too much time in the cruise story, and she wouldn't let go until she had the complete picture. And then there was the car crash. She had to know the truth.

Kendall took a long drag, his gaze fixed on Diane as she innocently sipped her wine. There was something about her that drew him in. He'd slept with countless women, but none of them had left a mark like Diane. She had dug her 4 inch heels into his hippocampus, imprinting on his brain. His mind was malfunctioning, screws and bolts clashed together, stray wires hung exposed, sparks crashing.

“You make a pretty good case.” He exhaled, smoke swirling around in the air.

“In another lifetime I was a defence lawyer,” she joked, refilling her glass.

“And in another life time I wasn’t so fucked up. I had a normal life, none of this fucking little red riding hood bullshit.”

“Who’s the big bad wolf?” Diane asked, was he talking about his father?

Kendall didn't answer, lost in thought. He stubbed out the joint, the lines on his forehead deepening.

“Isn’t green supposed to make you relax?” She teased, pressing her fingertips on his forehead to soften the lines.

Kendall shifted to lay his head in her lap. Diane ran her fingers through his hair, his eyes rested shut, making a noise of contentment as she massaged his scalp. He was practically purring like a cat, feeling his body wither away with just a single touch from Diane. What was it about her that had this effect on him?

Kendall had a brutal day, after avoiding his therapist for weeks he’d finally scheduled a call. As if that wasn’t bad enough his dad had tasked him with shutting down something he had envisioned to be something great, Vaulter, the company that he raised like his own child, poured his heart and soul into. But what other choice did he have? He was spineless in front of his dad.

“What happened?” Diane pried.

He opened his eyes, gazing up at her. "I had to shut down my pet project, Vaulter."

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to, I mean I practically put my heart and soil into it, I raised that company like my own child. I could’ve been something great.” The relaxing effects of his joint was now slowly loosening his filter, “but I had no other choice. I’m an invertebrate, a fucking worm against my dad.”

“You always have a choice, Kendall.”

“Not when you’re in my position, sweetie. My dads got me in a noose.” He let out a sad chuckle, “I’m not just a fucking pretty face in a suit, there’s always some shit going on, stuff that’s out of my control. Do you ever just feel like you’ve been working you’re entire like— just to be someone– and then it’s 10 years later and you’re still in the same fucking claustrophobic room and everyone’s watching you fail over and over again.”

“Kendall,” her voice was soft.

“Of course you don’t, you still have your entire life ahead of you.” He continued spiralling, words slipping out of him before he could even process his thoughts, “Don’t— just learn from me— and don’t hold hope that one day you’ll be at the top. Because you’ll wake up one day and realize you’re nothing.”

“I don’t think you’re nothing.” She whispered, stroking his cheek, “I think you’re just tired from a long day.”

“Tired from a long life.” He mumbled.

“Why do you feel like this?” She was starting to sound like his therapist, except he wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to pour his heart out to her, to confess every dark thought, every painful memory. But he couldn't. “Kendall, you’re the heir to the biggest multi-billion dollar media company. You have a life that people would kill for.”

“I’m no heir, trust me. It ain’t gonna be me. It was never gonna be me.” Kendall sat up, keeping his back towards Diane, “You don’t even know the half of it.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Uh-huh.” His voice was barely audible.

“Let me take your mind off it.” She pressed a kiss on his neck, “Let me help you de-stress, take off your shirt and lay down on your stomach.”

It was a friendly order, one Kendall could have refused if he really wanted to, but it was an order nonetheless, and he didn’t mind taking orders from Diane. He all but ripped his shirt off and obediently laid down on his front, trying his best to arrange himself and his parts as comfortably as possible, with head pillowed on his hands, closing his eyes.

He felt the couch cushions dip under Diane’s weight as she climbed on top of him, her knees on either side of his waist, leaning forward to steady herself on his shoulders and pinching them.

“It's not my back that's sore, Di- ”

She shushed, “I’m doing it my way, would you rather I stop...”

“No, please. Forget I said anything.”

Diane started squeezing where his neck met his shoulders, and moving progressively down his arms, repeating this action several times. She had finally found the perfect excuse to have Kendall unwrapped and laid out under her like a muscle buffet, she worked his tender skin as if she could coax the truth out of them, trying to make them talk, break down under the pressure.

Kendall found Diane hard to resist when she was demanding— she was hard to resist in general, regardless of whether she was on top of him or under him. Whatever her motive or endgame was didn’t really matter; Kendall wasn’t not going to ask too many questions if all he had to do was lie down and enjoy the warmth and pressure of her hands on him. Every circle of her fingers relaxed his body even more until he was laying loose beneath her.

“Your tiny hands feel so wonderful.” His voice was thicker with a hum. Diane pressed her palms into a particularly tough knot in the centre of his back, massaging with gentle motions. A little more pressure had it giving way beneath her palms. “Fuck!”

The attention felt good though. Eventually it started to feel like Diane was attempting some real massage techniques, pushing and prodding at him with more focus. The weight of her on Kendall’s back was comfortable, she weighed nothing. But her closeness, the intimacy of the situation, started to make Kendall’s body react in such a way, blood rushing to his cock.

Most of his muscles were already finished and there was only one area of his back that needed fixing, right above his ass. Kendall was a lot of things but shy was not one of them. The sudden stiffness of his muscles, coupled with the change in his breathing threw Diane off, and it was not until her hands pressed into the flesh of his lower back did she start to get an inkling of why.

Diane’s fingers locked together and rubbed a circle on his skin, she felt his thighs tense. The close proximity of her core to his ass made her tense as well. Ignoring the feelings coursing through her body, she applied more pressure on his lower back. This time, kendall pressed his hips into the sofa

“What do you think? Is it good?” The question snapped him out of his erotic thoughts, and it was cruel how soothing Diane’s voice was as she leaned over him, her voice velvety in his ear.

“Yeah, feels good,” Kendall mumbled into his arm. He breathed carefully so as not to let out any embarrassing sounds.

“Kendall,” she sang. The tips of her fingers danced up his sides, his skin rippled beneath them. “Is this turning you on?” He did not reply. “It seems like it is. Look at you,” she couldn’t not resist wriggling her hips against him, he could feel the thin material of her panties, her skirt bunched up around her waist. “Am I turning you on?”

It was quick, his confession—just a bob of his head—but she caught it.

“It’s okay,” she teased, leaning down to his ear. “Turn over,” she whispered, “let me see.”

“Diane—”

“I said turn over.” He obeyed this time. Diane lifted her hips so he could turn over and planted herself back on his lower stomach. His hard length strained against her ass. “Hey, big boy,” she rested her hands on his pecs, nails raking down his chest as she leaned forward to speak in his ear again. “Think I relaxed you a bit too much, don’t you think?

“Fuckk,” he groaned.

Her tongue flicked out against the shell of his ear. While he was distracted with her ministrations, she grinded her hips back and onto his bulge. He hissed feeling the heat pulsating inside him, hands going to her waist. He bucked up into her, but she swatted at his hands. “No.”

“No?” he furrowed his brows. His eyes were lidded as she rocked her hips against him.

“Hands behind your head. They will stay like that for the entire night or I’ll leave and then you’ll be all alone.” She pressed her hips down deeper and he let out a guttural groan.

“Yes.” His hands locked behind his head. Kendall never thought he had a submissive side, perhaps because nobody ever tried to dominate him, but now in this moment in his vulnerable state of mind, he needed this. He needed someone to take care of him.

“Look at you,” she teased him. “Such a good boy. You like this.” she cupped his boner, squeezing tight. “Don’t you?”

“Don’t be a fucking tease,” he breathed out, the veins in his arms stood out with tension.

“Begging already?” She shifted down his legs, pulling his slacks and boxers off to reveal his hardened member, the tip swollen with desire, “What do you want me to do?” She rubbed his thighs, not touching him where he so desperately needed.

“Blow me.” he groaned in frustration, his patience wearing thin.

“Where are your manners?”

“Please.” he gritted his teeth together.

“Good boy,” Diane spat on his fat mushroom head, gathering up enough saliva, wrapping a hand around the base of his cock she stroked him agonizingly slowly. Kendall bucked his hips up, thrusting into her hand desperate to speed things up.

Diane dipped her head down and licked a strip from the base of his cock down to his ballsack, Kendall looked at her with big pleading eyes, “Hurry up.”

“Be patient,” she lightly smacked his thigh. She took his swollen tip filled in her mouth, it was rushed simply because she decided to waste no time in giving him what he wanted and pushed his length as far as she could manage to the back of her throat. She didn’t gagg, her throat had been trained.

“Fuck, just like that.” Kendall sighed in relief, feeling her hot mouth wrapped around his cock like a vice.

Diane did what she did best and challenged him. She gripped the base, pulling him closer and threw caution to the wind. Her tongue spanned around the length of his soft head, revelling in the way his girth matched the fullness of her open mouth exactly.

His gravelled, masculine groans heated her skin in an instant, flooded her with a sensual sort of confidence and rushed the adrenaline through her veins.

Sucking the tip of him was like licking her favourite lollipop, Diane had a sweet tooth like no other. The only way to improve his taste would be to dip him in sugar or a gloopy coat of melted chocolate.

And she told him how much she was enjoying it with the roll of her eyes back into her head, her desperate whimpering breaths and wide, awe-inspired eyes.

“You take it so well,” he groaned, tipping his head back onto the cushions. The action elongated his throat, making his Adam’s apple more pronounced as it bobbed up and down.

Diane used her other hand to pump his length that she couldn’t fit in her mouth, while simultaneously bobbing her head up and down, taking as much of him as she could.

“Fuck, just a little more.” Kendall had to restrain himself from grabbing the back of Diane’s head and fucking her mouth dumb, but he held himself back, keeping his hands behind his head.

The noise of her mouth sucking along his cock filled the room along with his moans, growing louder with every second. Diane knew he wouldn’t last much longer, she could feel his cock twitching against her lips.

Kendall's self control faltered as he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pushed his cock impossibly deep, Diane’s nose was pressed flat against his pubic hair. “Tap out if you need.”

He let out one final breath and set off an explosion of cum. With a quick gulp, Diane felt it lightly burn her throat on the way down, tasting sickly sweet with a hint of floralness. She sat up, wiping her chin dripping with saliva.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” Kendall mumbled incoherently, pulling her down to lay with him, her head resting on his arm as held her tightly, his face nestled in her neck. “So fucking good. I wanna keep you in my back pocket and carry you around all day, my personal fleshlight.”

“Just wanted to help you,” she murmured, running a soothing hand through his hair.

“Let me return the favour.” He met her lips in a fervent kiss.

That night Kendall didn’t let her leave, he didn’t let her relax either. He fluctuated between fucking her slow and deep, and spending hours with his face between her legs until she was begging and pleading saying she couldn’t take anymore. He fucked her on the sofa, the kitchen counter, the pool table, the balcony, he fucked her until her legs practically gave out from under her.

“You look spent,” he teased, wrapping a blanket around their bodies. They were laying on the balcony sofa, Kendall had her bent over the railing moments ago as dawn began to paint the sky.

"I'm exhausted," she yawned, stretching her arms above her head.

"Exhausted but satisfied?" he teased, a playful glint in his eyes.

"More than satisfied."

"That'll teach you to pick up my calls."

"Hmm, maybe you're right," She glanced around looking for her clothes but remembered they were scattered haphazardly all over the penthouse.

"Hey, come on. What's the rush?" he asked, cupping her jaw. "It's the weekend tomorrow. Just stay here. I mean, we're friends, right? That's what you said. And friends can stay over, right?"

She hesitated, her gaze flickering uncertainty. "I don't know..."

“If you leave now,” his voice was husky in her ear, his hand trailing down from her hip until it found her swollen, abused clit again. “Just imagine what you’d be missing.”

“Kendall— I can’t,” she gasped, she’d lost count of how many orgasms she’d had at that point.

“Yes you can,” he encouraged, giving her sensitive nipples some attention with his tongue, biting and kissing the tender skin.

She had no choice but to sleep at his place, her legs trembling with exhaustion. Kendall swiftly scooped her up and carried her to the bed.

"Wow, I really do feel so much better," he sighed, pulling the covers over them, “Thank you.”

"Mhmm, you're welcome," she mumbled sleepily.

"What are you doing next weekend?" he asked.

"My dad's gonna be in town," she replied without thinking.

Kendall's grip tightened. "Oh shit, really? Like, is he coming to see you?"

Diane's eyes snapped open, her heart pounding in her chest. She forgot she had to keep up the lie about her abusive father. "No, I don't know why he's coming. My mom told me..." She paused, realizing she'd almost slipped up, mentioning her mom would only elicit more questions and fill her backstory with plot holes. "I mean, I just heard that he's coming to take care of a few things." Of course, her father was coming to visit her, she had big plans for the weekend with him

"Uh-huh," Kendall replied, unsure of what to say. He wasn't experienced in comforting someone who'd been through trauma. She was a victim, hurt by her own father. "Do you want to see him?"

"No," she lied, her voice trembling. "I'm paranoid that I might see him somewhere. I'm fucking terrified." She faked a sniffle, burying her face in his chest. Perhaps trauma dumping on him would make him trust her more.

“You probably won’t, this city’s too big.” He assured her, “And if he shows his face, I’ll take care of him.”

“What are you gonna do? Pay someone to break his kneecaps?”

“You let me worry about that.” He said firmly. “What’s the deal with you and your dad anyways?” He asked, his eyes a mixture of concern and curiosity.

This time Diane was prepared for his line of questioning, “I guess this is third base, me telling you about my dad. He had a sick twisted mind,” he was the sweetest soul to exist, “he took advantage of our time alone,” he showered her with love.

She sniffled, turning on the waterworks, “But even that wasn’t enough for him, — it was sick, it was torture— I— I can’t— I can’t even say—“

“What he did was wrong— I was only a child,” she whispered, “It was so wrong— maybe it was all my fault, for not saying nothing sooner, for letting him abuse me for so long.”

Diane was caught in a moral dilemma. She knew deep down that lying about such a serious issue was wrong, and the guilt gnawed at her conscience. The fear of karma, the idea that her deceit would eventually come back to haunt her, was a constant weight on her mind.

However, her desire to complete her story, to unravel the truth about Kendall's past, was all-consuming. She was willing to sacrifice her own morality for the sake of her narrative. She justified her actions by convincing herself that the ends justified the means. She believed that if she could uncover the truth about Kendall, it would be worth any cost, including her own integrity.

“It’s okay, c’mere.” He pulled her closer to him, nestling her face in his neck, “You were only a kid. How could you have known what was right or wrong? It’s not your fault.”

"I think I'm broken, Kendall," she confessed, her voice barely a whisper. "I feel like he's a part of me, and I'm so ashamed. I can still feel it all, sometimes when I'm alone at night."

Everything was falling into place for Kendall. This explained her previous climaxing issue, perhaps even why she was sleeping with him. Kendall didn't exactly understand the psychology behind it, but he knew there had to be some deeper explanation behind it. It didn't bother him; in fact, it made him want to protect her, to nurture her.

Kendall knew he wasn't the best father in the world, he was often absent, preoccupied with work and his own issues. He had trouble connecting with his children on an emotional level, and his parenting style was often distant and dismissive. But seeing Diane so vulnerable ignited a protective instinct he hadn't known he possessed.

Sometimes people developed a lack of empathy after going through something traumatic, and Kendall had been through his fair share of trauma. But if only amplified his empathy for Diane. He felt so sorry that he wasn't there when she was little. He would have iced her bruises, he would have protected her.

"I've been broken my whole life too. This all happened when you were a kid. I didn't know you then I don’t but I can’t explain why it feels like I did." he soothed her, rubbing her back gently.

"You know, my dad had a fucked up way of showing love. It was always conditional. One time, he threw a fork at me because I failed an exam. It missed my eye by an inch, and then he made me sit there and watch everyone have dinner. My plate stayed empty, because only good boys got dinner. And look at me now, I'm still right there. There's no escaping it."

Diane listened intently, she had finally gotten what she wanted: his trust, his vulnerability. She had successfully manipulated him into opening up even if it was just a little smidge, it was still a small victory, one step closer to the truth.

He paused, his voice thick with emotion. "Next weekend, let's go away. You can escape your dad, at least for a little while. You have a chance, a head start."

A flicker of panic surged within Diane. "Really?" she asked, surprised by his offer. She hadn't expected such a grand gesture, and she certainly didn't want it. Her plans for the weekend involved her father, not a getaway with Kendall. "It's okay, really, Kendall. You don't have to."

"I don't have to do anything," he insisted, his eyes burning with intensity. "But I want to help a friend in need."

Diane hesitated, her mind racing. She wanted to decline, but she also couldn't risk pushing him away, not when she was so close. "Thanks, friend," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

#kendall roy smut #kendall roy fanfiction #kendall roy x oc #succession hbo #succession fanfiction #tell me sweet little lies #kendall roy is pathetic and desperate #kendall roy

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clove-noko · 26 days ago

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Hi !!

I previously wrote a fic for Quartz, and I wanted to make you one too!

Is it okay if you could go more in depth about HagiJade so I can get everything right ? 😁😁😁😁😁

hello hello!! :> you write great! 😭🤲💖✨ I'm very flattered that you paid attention to my hagijade! 🥺 I'm sorry that there's not much information on them, but if it helps you, then check out the posts with the tag #hagijade especially these two posts: Hagi's feelings for Jade and Jade's feelings for Hagi

I will describe their relationship, but if you have a specific question, I will answer it :)

so, to begin with, there is no "obvious" romance between them. they don't feel like a typical couple(??), so to speak. the time they spend with each other and the feeling of comfort between them are very important to them.

Hagi shows her affection and love through caring and listening. she genuinely enjoys listening to Jade and watching him, despite the fact that he can be too cunning. if you could describe Hagi's loving thoughts about Jade, it would be something like, "he's so weird, I like it so much. why do I feel so inspired when I see him? it's like I'm about to hear something interesting..."

Jade is more open in showing love, oddly enough (it's just that Hagi is quite detached from romance and it's difficult for her to tell the difference between the levels of intimacy). although he definitely wouldn't have thought of opening up at first, he would have just kept these feelings to himself. he likes to see Hagi different, sometimes unexpectedly active, and sometimes withdrawn. Jade feels intrigued towards her. he would describe her as a mystery that he wants to solve.

Jade in love would not hesitate to flirt with Hagi and behave differently from usual. although Hagi would take the initiative at some moments, mostly words like "I love you" and a move towards a kiss come from Jade (this doesn't mean that Hagi doesn't do it, it's just that Jade is more open and active in this sense. Hagi will have to go through some thought process or she won't understand what she's done at all, lol)

despite all this, Jade can be very shy, because he is embarrassed to admit to himself that he is in love and feel awe towards Hagi (>///<) Hagi is more calm in this sense, although she has moments when she is shocked by how cute Jade is.

I hope it's not too much! 🥹🥹🥹

#.asktochie

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avawritingsfc · 11 months ago

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Hiii❤️ loved your bf!colepalmer headcanon!! I was wondering if you could do one based on how arguments would be like with cole? In need of some angst haha 😭

Thank you!! xxx

Hey!💓 Aww I'm glad you liked it🤧

Okay so in terms of how I like to write arguments, I always like bringing an astrological twist to things. I find it adds a different dimension. Although, we don’t know much about Cole’s birth time, we know he is a taurus sun so I have based my thoughts on how he would behave during an argument with his partner on that.

~~Enjoy😘

Arguments with Cole Palmer: Headcanon⚡️🖤

before you read: not too angsty, pretty realistic. again these are my thoughts and opinions, please don't take it too seriously.

The Silent Storm:

The silent storm is truly how i would describe Cole during moments of conflict with his s/o.

Cole is not the type to raise his voice during an argument.

When tension first arises, he tends to go quiet, his brows furrowed as he tries to process his emotions.

He’s not one for impulsive reactions, so he’ll often take a moment to collect his thoughts before responding.

This can sometimes feel like he’s shutting down, but really, he’s just trying to avoid saying something he might regret.

Stubborn as a Taurus:

This man is STUBBORN!!!

True to his Taurus nature, once Cole has made up his mind about something, it’s hard to get him to see things differently.

In an argument, this can be both a strength and a challenge.

He stands firm on his beliefs and will defend his point of view with solid determination, not backing down.

This stubbornness can sometimes make it difficult for him to compromise or admit when he’s wrong.

Protective of the Relationship:

OKay so yes he's stubborn and irrational at times BUT...

Even in the heat of an argument, Cole is deeply protective of the relationship.

He hates the idea of anything coming between you two, so he’ll avoid saying hurtful things that could cause lasting damage.

No swearing here pls!!

If the argument escalates, you might notice him taking a deep breath, his voice softening when he finally speaks, as if to remind you both that you’re on the same team here.

Physical Reassurance:

While words might be harder for him in the midst of a disagreement, Cole instinctively reaches out to you, whether it’s holding your hand, gently placing his hand on your shoulder, or simply staying close by.

He believes that physical touch can help bridge the gap when emotions are running high, and he hopes that these small gestures will convey that he still cares deeply, even when you’re both upset.

This man's love language is definitely physical touch, i could talk about it all day.

Long Drives to Clear His Head:

The rarer times, when an argument gets too intense, Cole might suggest taking a break.

He’ll often go spent time with his friends or go for a long drive to clear his head, giving both of you time to cool down.

He’s not walking away from the problem but rather trying to come back with a clearer perspective.

He’ll text you something like, “I just need a minute, but I’m not going anywhere,” to reassure you that he’s still committed to resolving the issue, but just not right now.

A Soft Apology:

I cant lie but Cole isn’t the type to apologise right away, especially if he feels strongly about his position.

However, after he’s had time to reflect, he’ll come back with a heartfelt apology if he realises he was in the wrong.

His apologies are quiet but sincere, often accompanied by a simple “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” and he’ll make it clear that your feelings matter more to him than being right.

Rebuilding with Care:

After the argument, Cole is all about mending things slowly and carefully.

He’ll suggest doing something together that you both enjoy, like watching a movie or going out for a meal, as a way to reconnect.

He’ll be extra attentive and affectionate, making sure you feel loved and valued, reinforcing that the argument hasn’t shaken his commitment to you.

my conclusions: overall I think Cole truly takes arguments seriously. It might shake him up a bit but he is emotionally intelligent enough see them as opportunities for you to grow closer together. After things have calmed down, I definitely see him want to talk about what happened—not to rehash the argument, but to understand how to avoid similar conflicts in the future. He feels a sense of responsibility. Once he's committed, he's all in. Deeply invested in making the relationship stronger, he always wants to learn from such moments to become a better partner to you.

AHHHH i wanna cry🥹

#cole palmer #chelsea fc #arguments #astrology #avawritingsfc

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fyreiswriting · 3 months ago

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For the anon who sent me the kindest message: I thought it may be easier to keep the ask private, as it feels deeply personal and I want to honor that. This is my answer for that.

First, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. I don’t really have words to describe how awful that must have been, and I’m sorry you went through that, and very very grateful I could help, even in just a small way.

Second, it’s almost ironic, in a way. I lost someone close to me in September 2023. For months, I couldn’t really write much at all; the grief kept shocking me at the strangest times. I started playing BG3 in the middle of that grief, albeit reluctantly, and something about it just captured me entirely.

More thoughts beneath the readmore:

It took me perhaps far too long to recognize that one of the central themes of Future, Past, Present is grief. How we handle, or don’t handle, it. How some days it’s easier to cope with than others. How, sometimes, it’s all you can do to keep moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other. This has been my first real experience with grief for a *person*, and she was so young that I’m not just mourning the memories we had, but the memories we could’ve made together. Nyrra is going through the same, and a lot of her feelings have kind of been parallel to my feelings. I process through putting words on paper, and in this case I just… decided to share those words with others.

I think one of the highest compliments that I can personally get is “your story has stuck with me” or “your story helped”, and so to read your words made me full-stop in the middle of the day. I had to sit with it for a bit, tear up a little, and take a deep breath, because sometimes I forget that grief is a human experience, something just about everyone will go through.

If my thoughts and processing my own grief helped you, in some small way, then I’m unbelievably glad to hear it. Sending you all the love and support that I can through this difficult time.

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freezerbnuuy · 3 months ago

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Act 2:2 - Something to Tell You (Page 5)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / CHAPTERS / WARNINGS

← PREVIOUS | BEGINNING | NEXT →

CONTENT WARNING: a general warning for alcohol consumption in case it might be a trigger for some, but it's in good fun.

Oskar

'Awkward' doesn't begin to describe this past week and a half. These two lovebirds haven't uttered a word to each other since the admission. Áine had explained to me what she'd done after holding her silence for so long. All she'd done is accidentally kill her sorry excuse for a father, who performed a Rite to rid himself of magic before handing in her mother to the witchfinders. I told her the remorse would wear off after a while- perhaps not the best advice, but the most honest. I still seethe just thinking about it. Just the other day, I was telling Violeta about how today's witches would never dream of handing in a fellow witch, and...

Reynold and I relax in front of the fireplace, a nice break from the worsening winter snow. His face is red, and I'm not sure if it's the tearful kind or the irate kind. I'd made him some tea to warm and settle him, whilst I mellow out with another glass of warmed bloodfruit wine. Not terribly long until Winterfest, now that I think about it...Should have spiced it.

"Oskar? Are you day-drinking?"

"Day-drinking, night-drinking...I haven't seen the Sun or the Moon in over one hundred years. Makes little difference to me," I reply, with a cackle. I don't realise how evil it sounds until I'm in someone else's company, and they look at me like I'm about to sink my teeth into their neck.

"So, I suppose you and Áine still aren't on speaking terms."

He makes a concerned noise in his throat, just like his father used to whenever he was put in an awkward position. Spend your entire life convinced your version of morality is ultimate, and you forget you are as capable of making mistakes as anyone else is- not to mention breaking all the rules you set out so firmly for others.

If there's one thing vampiric patience is rewarded by, it's aging your own wine. It's splendid. That sanguine metallic taste, with notes of...pomegranate, maybe?

"This might sound a little strange coming from someone who hasn't seen their own reflection in years, Reynold, but you ought to try looking in your own sometime."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you've taken it the wrong way, haven't you?" I reply. "No, I mean, on the inside."

I notice him staring up at the decorations above the mantelpiece, his eyes flicking between that and the fireplace. "No, I think you're right, Oskar. I always tell people to do something meaningful instead of wallowing in guilt and, well...I don't feel much else other than guilt right now. First Clem, and now Áine..."

"I wouldn't worry about it so much. It isn't like she'll never speak to you again. She just needs time to process things- as you do. As we all do." I suppose it was easy for me to say- I have plenty of time.

"You aren't a terrible person, Reynold. Being a witch, or a vampire, or a werewolf…it's all about hiding a part of yourself to protect yourself, as well as others sometimes. It becomes second nature to you, and then you do that with everyone, even people you trust.

Spend your entire life putting up a shield, and you forget to take it down when all is safe. Deep down, I know she understands that. The thing is, this doesn't only change her relationship with you, but with her own child. Of course, she still loves you both- but she'll need to find ways of dealing with things when they get out of control, as will you- as I'm sure you have been for a long time."

"I have been."

"Of course you have, Reynold. Many of your kind gave in to their dark thoughts, and from what I hear, some were never seen as human again. You're a much better person than most, werewolf or not. Many wouldn't think to work on themselves at all. It just so happens that your blood makes it a little more difficult."

#divided sims 4 story #freezerbnuuy #tw alcohol #cw alcohol #alcohol tw #alcohol cw

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mip-dev-center · 3 months ago

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hi 99. lord god almighty has their design ever been a struggle. They're also a character I find myself having a hard time getting a good grasp on. I feel like they look a bit less immediately sinister now, which is good. this outfit looks cool but god it looks annoying to draw. I've been having this issue with their current alt outfit too and I think sometimes you just gotta simplify for the sake of convenience.

Anyways, Big Spoilers!!!!! under the cut. also it's a dramatic and not-so-happy scene. also their character writing is outdated

I feel like 99 is one of my least grounded characters, which is fine. They're very anime. I don't think this depiction is where I want them to be (they're too... forthcoming and sure of themself here. I think 99 will always be more of a follower than a leader. Also they're a little too expressive? like, in their voice.) You can tell I didn't have a solid grasp on them here.

You might be wondering what broke TWR so badly. This is a timeline where TWR gets... re-mip'ed??? (verb) Like, she gets her Echo cultivated and extracted and shoved back into another puppet. So since she's an Echo now, deactivation is met not with a comforting silence / cessation of processing, but with a horrific pseudo-dreamlike state that's difficult to put into words. It's the reason why MIP Units are programmed with dream simulations; without that sort of structure, they might be exposed to this phenomenon. It's sort of like being a normal Echo, but you're still confined to your tiny little puppet, and if you lose your grip on that manufactured tether to reality, you'll lose your grasp on your thoughts and your perceptions and etc. for normal Echoes I don't think this would matter because you're just. Always an Echo. You'd just get used to it. but since MIP Units are horrific little spiritual abominations that have been brute-forced into interacting with the physical world (the normal world? unsure how to describe it) instead of existing solely as weird metaphysical ? between-world concept spirit things

uh. in summary what i mean to say is that it's very existentially horrifying and difficult to get used to, especially if you've never experienced anything like that before. this (combined with the shock of becoming a bio-mechanical being) is why you get stuff like SLS screaming uncontrollably during her activation yay

it can theoretically get better though. it's not always horrific or whatever it's just a lot to get used to.

lalala sorry I'll find a better way to articulate all that eventually. i prommy!!!!

also RAR is here fuck that guy

also i did warn you all about the sacrilege my legal disclaimer did i mention my au isn't very canon-compliant yeah it's largely about the bastardization of the Void Sea (understandably a contentious topic in-universe too)

apologies for putting the "rambles" in "luna rambles" my next post will surely be worse

#the vault #apr 2024 #sensitive content #mip spoils (under cut)#outdated #thorns without roses #mip 99 #beta 99 #nascent apotheosis #beta rar #mip rar #mip vignettes #mipdoodles #luna's art #luna rambles #outdated mip design #director thorns #mip units #brainstorming stuff

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yueyehua · 1 year ago

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xiaoge (and liu sang if you want to) for the ask meme 👀

sorry for the late reply that I’m writing while procrastinating on other things but thank you for asking! <3

Xiaoge

My first impression

I honestly can’t remember all that well because it was such a long time ago, but when I first discovered Daomu Biji, it was through PingXie clips on twitter from Ultimate Note, and because I had nothing to do and found them cute I ended up finding a carrd where someone gave a barebones rundown of what you had to know to not be extremely confused if you wanted to watch it. The way Xiaoge was described in it and his initial appearance in Ultimate Note made me think he was the quiet warrior stereotype that felt a lot of things strongly but just didn’t express them openly, a lot introverted and a little lost in a lost puppy kind of way

My impression now

Xiaoge to me now is multifaceted in ways I feel deserve their own separate post, but I’m going to tl;dr it as in some ways, I feel like he’s almost a subversion of the stereotypes he’s presented as. So much of Xiaoge’s character arc both in the present timeline and in past events is about his dehumanization, but that dehumanization isn’t purely about the ways others treat him, it’s also in the way he himself has become “other”. The Three Days of Silence extra goes into this the most explicitly, but the llama at the temple wants Xiaoge to carve a statue out of a stone by infusing emotion into it because he feels that “no man is a stone”, that is it say that no human being is without emotion, and only by proving that he can feel can Xiaoge prove that he’s human. But the problem is that by that point Xiaoge, both by circumstance and by design, to all intents and purposes has become a stone in some respects in terms of his distance to people on a personal level. It’s not an accident that Wu Xie often compares him to a god or to Buddha with no passions or desires of his own, because it’s what he’s been made to be, and his indifference, that’s a defining character trait, isn’t feigned. It’s genuine.

So Xiaoge’s character development very much revolves around breaking free from his identity as a tool and as something almost akin to a bodhisattva to obtain his own identity as a human being that can connect with others.

It’s more complicated than that and I’m generalizing, but I feel that Xiaoge is someone who’s inherently merciful and kind, but is also generally speaking not invested in most people on a personal level, mostly because forming a connection with anyone is an exercise in futility, both because Xiaoge’s life experience and what “fate” has imposed on him make it difficult for people to relate to or understand him, and also because that distance means most people will inevitably only want to use him. But he does care about the people who’ve successfully forged a connection with him, he just shows it through actions, not words. Is he also a little awkward in interpersonal relationships sometimes? Yeah that too

Favorite thing about that character

Probably the fact that despite everything he’s gone through he’s Daomu Biji’s goodest boy. He’s kind in a completely uninterested way. That and how much of a troll he is that’s the Zhang in him coming out

Least favorite thing

Maybe that he’s so flippant about his own well-being and bodily comfort. He tends to view himself as an extension of a purpose and is in general very pragmatic, but because of how removed from people and humanity he is, it means he doesn’t really take himself into consideration much over the people he cares about. There a bit in the Fishing King extra where he slashes his own hand open and when Wu Xie later realizes it, he asks Xiaoge if it hurts, and he replies that it doesn’t. And Wu Xie doesn’t comment on it, but his overall internal thought process is a bitter “of course it doesn’t hurt”

Favorite line/scene

Trying to pick a scene that’s about him specifically and honestly the entirety of the stories about when he’s doing his release into the wild during the Tibetan Sea Flower flashbacks. Jaded and ruthless baby, but even before he was ever Zhang Qiling he was still more humane than everyone around him despite having been used as a disposable blood bag by his own family

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Everyone’s expecting the “If I disappeared no would notice” scene with Wu Xie but you know what I’m gonna go with something else even if that scene is up there.

In the Fishing King extra when Wu Xie goes to fist bump him because they beat Pangzi at rock paper scissors and Xiaoge doesn’t understand so they stare at each other awkwardly and he ends up covering Wu Xie’s fist with his hand like ‘paper’ my heart

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

To be honest Xiao Hua or Huo Xiuxiu? You don’t ser much of those three in the same room but I imagine Xiaoge and Xiao Hua would be a very efficient, pragmatic and silent duo

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Not entirely because I don’t think I know any character that’s exactly like Xiaoge, but a little bit Shenhe from Genshin. Emotionally restrained to the point of lack of emotion but by design, mistreated as a child, also a little bit of a troll and straightforward when confronted with people with bad intentions. Also very combat efficient.

A headcanon about that character

I don’t know if I have a really big one besides I like the headcanon that Xiaoge is ace or demisexual? I have a hard time picturing him having had any kind of romantic relationships and to be honest even casual sex doesn’t feel likely to me just because even that requires having some form of interest in the other party which Xiaoge doesn’t ever really seem to have. But who knows what he might have had to do out of necessity or if there were people he’s forgotten

A song that reminds me of that character

This is really hard but I haven’t found anything more fitting than ‘The Ghost on the Shore’ by Lord Huron

An unpopular opinion about that character

I had to think about this a little but if I had to pick something it might be the fanon perception of Xiaoge as a ‘feral cat’ that Wu Xie and/or others have ‘domesticated’. Part of it is personal interpretation, because I feel like he’s hardly feral considering outside of crisis situations he’s probably one of the most chill characters in Daomu Biji. But it also feels… I don’t know dismissive? To be calling him that when Xiaoge being out of touch with most people on a personally involved or intimate level is the fruit of so many things outside of his control he’s been subjected to. He’s spent the better part of his life being subject to the whims of an unnamed entity that uses him as it sees fit for an agenda the reader only knows exists let alone what it entails. He’s seen people at their most vile, been used by people in the most vile ways, and that mixed with his sense of duty as Zhang Qiling and his age (though he was already jaded even as a teenager before he was ever made into Zhang Qiling) has made him into someone who wanders the world without any real connection to the people in it. For a very long time Xiaoge just ‘existed’ in the most literal sense, and just because as a result of that he doesn’t care about social niceties (why would you care about face and other people’s attempts to maintain the façade of it in a cutthroat business like tomb robbing?) or knows or cares how to maintain relationships doesn’t make him ‘feral’.

Plus calling him ‘domesticated’ veers a little too much into dehumanizing him as if he’s some animal Wu Xie (or someone else) tamed and that answers to his beck and call. As if the entire point of Xiaoge’s story arc isn’t that Wu Xie is the first person he can remember who ever persisted in forging a connection with Xiaoge until Xiaoge was forced to realize he cared and felt a connection with another human being. As if the conclusion of that wasn’t him making a gamble on Wu Xie’s sincerity that he would come and pick him up in ten year’s time, as if Xiaoge choosing to stay in Yucun with him and Pangzi isn’t Xiaoge reciprocating that sincerity with his own, making an active choice to stay and call somewhere ‘home’ for the first time in his life.

I might be looking at this too deeply but it rubs me the wrong way

Favorite picture

Hard so I’m not picking absolute favorites just ones I like. For book Xiaoge I like versions of him that look similar to this:

(Source)

And for drama Xiaoge there’s so many good shots of all the versions of him, so looking at the most recent version of him in the Misty Creed movie, this one shot is 10/10:

(Screenshot courtesy of @shaish)

Liu Sang

Disclaimer: Since this is tagged, apologies in advance to Liu Sang fans. I’ve tried to be as reasonable as possible about my opinions, but that being said be warned I don’t like him, so if you'd rather not see any negativity about him, feel free to skip

My first impression

My introduction to Liu Sang was through fandom, both fanon, fanfic, and discussions about him that I’d seen/read before I ever watched Reboot, since I started with the dramas. From how people talked about him I was pretty hyped about him I’m not gonna lie, and I definitely got the feeling he was an important character, so seeing how loved he was, I was looking forward to seeing him for the first time in canon.

Then once I started watching Reboot my first impression kind of yoyo-ed around. There was a little whiplash from the gap between how fandom presented him vs. how he acted at the beginning of Reboot towards Wu Xie and Pangzi especially, but I figured given people liked him he probably got better. And to be fair he did! On my first full watchthrough of Reboot I ended up feeling pretty neutral about him, not in a negative sense, but more like how I tend to view most of the more minor characters (like Xiao Bai for example since we’re talking about Reboot). I appreciated he got character development and was left with a general “yeah he’s alright” impression

My impression now

Full disclaimer, I’ve only read half of Restart the book so far, so I can’t fully talk about book Liu Sang beyond his appearances in the South Sea King’s tomb and the immediate aftermath of that. I can talk more about Reboot the drama Liu Sang though.

The problem with my general impression of Liu Sang now is that it’s very polluted by my interactions with his fans. I won’t get too much into that because this is supposed to be about Liu Sang the character and not the Liu Sang fandom (because yes there absolutely is a Liu Sang fandom that exists as a subset of the Daomu Biji fandom), but to keep it short, the version of Liu Sang that I find is pushed forward a lot by his fans is a version that doesn’t correspond to either the drama or book version of him, and is instead heavily steeped in widely accepted fanon to the point it’s almost a different character sometimes. And that widely accepted fanon version is something that his fans have the unfortunate habit of being very pushy and single-minded about, and it’s caused a number of issues and rifts within the wider Daomu Biji fandom.

Keep in mind this is all my personal feelings and doesn’t necessarily reflect on every single person who likes Liu Sang as a character, but to get back to the point, it means that my overall impression of Liu Sang now is a pretty negative one. Full transparency (if it wasn’t already obvious) I don’t like him, and while I do find what I’ve seen of the book version of him has the potential to interesting, and I can absolutely appreciate that, not to mention the genuine character arc he gets in the drama, because of how his fans act about him, he’ll never be a favorite

Favorite thing about that character

In the book so far what I find most interesting about Liu Sang is the ambiguity of his past and of his intentions. He’s initially presented in a way that’s puzzling in hindsight, and while part of that I think you can put down to Restart being a weird time for Wu Xie in general, there’s little clues that makes you wonder what his deal is and that his role in the story might be more than meets the eye.

He’s introduced as a consultant Wu Erbai trusts the competence of, and Pangzi is immediately incensed by him in ways that are almost uncharacteristic. Because Pangzi (in the books at least), is someone who regularly puts up a loud front and throws jibes at people when he doesn’t trust them in a way that’s both testing but not too aggressive to instigate a conflict unless the other party is openly hostile. But with Liu Sang he’s immediately, and to Wu Xie without apparent reason, extremely hostile and vitriolic. You learn later that Pangzi has heard sinister rumors about Liu Sang, and you infer from there the vitriol is coming from Pangzi wanting to keep someone potentially nefarious and ill-intentioned to a sadistic degree away from his friends. But you also later see him again when he listens to thunder at the beach in front of the guesthouse Wu Xie and co. are staying in, and Wu Xie’s observations give you the impression there’s something deeper going on. In Wu Xie’s words, he doesn’t like him, but he’s intrigued by what he represents (and not gonna lie I am too)

Least favorite thing

Besides the egregious fanon version of him I’m not touching on because it’s not actually canon, ironically I find early drama Liu Sang to be worse than early book Liu Sang. To be fair I don’t know how he evolves in the book, but in that Liu Sang is more focused on his job, and apart from his one iffy moment in the car where he’s constantly trying to snap pictures of Xiaoge without his consent (to which both Wu Xie and Pangzi react with variations of yelling and kicking his seat in), he’s really not doing anything questionable, unless you count being in on Wu Erbai’s test as questionable. Drama Liu Sang however by this point not only throws jibes around at both Wu Xie and Pangzi, but uses Wu Xie’s terminal illness as a leverage point to mock him and almost gets Wu Xie and Pangzi killed because he thought it was funny. Which is honestly at odds with his book character that’s actually very professional, because none of that is professional

Favorite line/scene

Uhhh I don’t know that I have any? Maybe the part in Restart where he walks out into the thunderstorm to listen to the thunder and Wu Xie watches him until it triggers a moment of self-reflection. It’s not really about Liu Sang so much as it’s about Wu Xie and his headspace, but it’s a meaningful scene

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Ok I’m not gonna lie that one moment in the Reboot drama where Liu Sang tells Xiaoge he’s his biggest fan and Xiaoge of all people takes a moment to emote because he’s that confused and baffled by the direction the interaction is taking is hilarious

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

Maybe Xiao Bai? I haven’t seen them meet in the book, but arguably in both that and the drama especially both Liu Sang and Xiao Bai are mirrors of each other in terms of what they represent in relation to Xiaoge and Wu Xie respectively. Plus their interactions in the drama were wholesome

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

I can’t think of one to be completely honest

A headcanon about that character

I’m going to call this headcanon for now since I’m not done Restart the book so I can’t be sure, but I like the idea of book Liu Sang just being an ornery bastard with his own nebulous agenda. Let the man be a bastard! Bastards can be interesting too!

A song that reminds me of that character

I honestly can’t think of one right now

An unpopular opinion about that character

I could probably go into this for a hot minute but everything surrounding the sanitized fanon version of Liu Sang that’s both in my opinion inaccurate (despite being presented as accurate) and absolutely in your face unless you take extreme pains to block out pretty much everything to do with him. To be clear, what people like is their business, but unpopular opinions aren’t called that for nothing, and this entire post is meant to be about my feelings, not objective facts.

That being said, fanon Liu Sang to me is woobified to a level that completely erases any traces of his actual character to cater to a very specific view of him that’s as far as I can tell made to be palatable. His fans make a concentrated effort of pushing forward, in my experience sometimes aggressively, what’s essentially a sanitized version of him that glosses over or deliberately erases any unsavory aspects of his character.

Which to be clear I have no problems with, most of if not all the characters in Daomu Biji are fundamentally imperfect and flawed, some to the point where other less niche (in western fandom spaces anyway) fandoms would label them as ‘problematic’. It contributes to making the characters complex and more human in my opinion. Which is why it’s kind of sad that Liu Sang has been reduced to being the fandom’s (or part of the fandom’s) ‘poor little meow meow’ who’s suddenly inherently likable.

Again, if you like that then that’s your business. The only reason I have strong feelings about this in the first place is because Liu Sang fans have, in my experience, the bad habit of shoehorning that version of him into everything, and by that I mean to the point of encroaching on other people’s lanes in ways that are incredibly tone deaf. It also feeds into the general problem the Daomu Biji fandom as a whole has of assuming that everyone is ok with anything and everything, and doesn’t believe in personal boundaries. But anyway, the point here is that I don’t like fanon Liu Sang, and the only reason I’m talking about him is because of this ask

Favorite picture

I also don’t really have one

#dmbj #zhang qiling #liu sang #ask meme #hopefully this is appropriate #and if it's not then feel free to point it out #but that being said i don't like the idea of having to walk on eggshells with opinions on fictional characters #especially when other people don't #character meta #a little?#a little

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richmond-rex · 1 year ago

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I was tagged by super talented @eve-to-adam! Thank you <3

How many works do you have on AO3? I've got 19 fics currently on ao3 (but I always think about deleting some of them so that number may go down).

What fandoms do you write for? Currently I only write historical RPF, but I've got two Still Star-Crossed stories on my profile as it stands. It was very fun to write them but the show wasn't renewed and eventually my passion ran out.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Draw Your SwordsBlooming (modern AU) We Sang of Roses (modern AU) A Royal BedJoy on Earth

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Though not always successful (I'm kind of a forgetful person, sorry!) I try to respond to comments because I like to acknowledge the person's effort in commenting. It's very easy to simply read and leave a like/kudos, but leaving a comment sometimes after you're still processing a story or when you're naturally very shy takes a bit more from you. So I like to acknowledge that.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably To love God is to love a sinner, but some stories have ambiguous endings such as The Relentless Weight and more recently, The Hour of the Wolf.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably my no-plot-only-fluff fic, White Christmas

Do you get hate on fics? Not frequently, thankfully, though that's probably because the readership I get is so small. I did once get a comment saying my story was too cheesy, and another one once berating me for describing Elizabeth of York as 'blonde' (a herald who witnessed her coronation described her hair as 'light yellow'; so please don’t tell me I’m wrong ♥)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do (though not frequently), which is considered controversial because I write about real (albeit historical) people. Sex is part of the human experience and it can tell us a lot about the characters and the relationships, so I try to feel less guilty about it. I also like to take smut as an exercising in writing: to test how far I can get in evoking a sensation without getting into more explicit territory is always a challenge.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? In terms of different fandoms? I don't remember ever doing that. I have mixed different eras, though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not a fic per se, but once I did share an AU with @harritudur and another friend. It was very fun :D

What’s your all-time favourite ship? I do love to explore the relationship between Henry VII and Elizabeth because it was so unlikely to have happened in the first place, let alone succeed. I find it very touching! I do have other ships, though.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? It's not a WIP that I have posted anywhere but I did start writing a oneshot that I wanted to dedicate to a friend about the relationship between Edward IV and George of Clarence! It did feature a few unexpected people too.

What are your writing strengths? Probably dialogue and themes. It's difficult to say, I pick my writing apart so much when I'm in the process of writing it, once I publish it's very hard for me to go back and confront myself. It all kind of turns into nebulous territory.

What are your writing weaknesses? Many, many things but scene transitions are probably at the top of the list! That's why my story chapters usually all take place in a single scene.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? As a bilingual person I find it important to portray this completely unique experience of mixing two languages as they come (if the character in question is multilingual). It's not a popular view, though I do think people should get more comfortable with not understanding word-by-word everything that ever comes across the page. The strangeness of being confronted with a language that you do not know is a part of a different kind of experience and it can only enrich your reading. Of course, all should be within reasonable limits: information that is essential to the overall story should be in the language the story is set in.

First fandom you wrote for? I think it was Star Wars but I can't remember if I actually published it anywhere. I was very very young lol

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Blooming has a very dear place in my heart, it was the first fic I actually felt like accomplishing myself in terms of achieving the characterisation I wanted for my characters and creating a narrative that made sense for their development.

I think most people have been tagged already, but I'm tagging @harritudur, @heartofstanding and anyone else who feels like joining in the fun! x

#2024 is the year we leave self-consciousness behind #tag games #fanfiction

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plasmasimagination · 2 years ago

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hello!! i would like a hsr matchup if u still do them?? if u don't, then I apologize for not knowing im new to this 💔💔

im a gay autistic + bpd guy whose mbti type is entj :] despite being able to interact w other ppl if I want 2, I still don't HAHA I see no use in talking w strangers which may make me difficult to get along with at first.... i don't speak unless it's necessary. I love my friends dearly though and believe I have enough in my life to get by if yk what I mean. I love anything related to photography a lot and typology as well!! i like analyzing people mainly so I can feel good abt how I described them perfectly (hehehe sorry)

erm I don't get mad easily and when I'm upset, I brush off my feelings and try to be rational which has made ppl super comfortable with me!! which is good bcuz it's easier for them to b honest... I think... tho it's rough for me to open up I never do

i also enjoy philosophy sometimes!! I'm not religious at all but there's prob something out there...and I journal almost every night. I used to write poems and stories when I was 11-13, but now a lot of them never get finished smhh I love physics too esp astrophysics!! it's been my fav since my childhood ^_^ oh UMMM i like drinking tea (no I'm not british... im desi HAHA) 💔💔💔 i have always done well in school despite skipping a lot n now thinking abt failure in general makes me panic ... oops

I hope this was worded okay bcuz I can b terrible at describing myself !!! have a good day!!!

Hii sweetheart

Onto your matchup!

DAN HENG

Dan heng as calm as he is does enjoy the presence of a sweetheart like you

Similar to you, Dan Heng also dislikes talking to strangers, and prefers not to attempt to talk to them in any way

Dan Heng is a reader, and would love if you allowed him to read your stories/poets, he's gonna give constructive criticism but also praise, after all the best door to a soul is a poets work and he uses that to get to know your thought process and mind

I always say this, but when U date Dan Heng you get a free march 7th

So since you two are both into photography I'm sure y'all can talk about It or like take photos together, Dan Heng will be off to the side just watching the conversation go down and nodding satisfied

Your ability to analyze people will do well with Dan Heng, he's not very vocal about his feelings, so when you can figure it out it will help a lot so you can communicate easier with him

#honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai x reader #honkai star rail x female reader #hsr x gn reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #hsr x male reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x male reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x you #dan heng x y/n #hsr dan heng #dan heng x you #dan heng x reader #dan heng

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powderrblue · 2 years ago

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so i was asked to describe the little Fucked Up Blorbo that i have made out of post escape rainbo. i spin he in my brain Constantly so here's some thoughts. some of them are older things but i'll try to add new stuff too :D

to me they trust charlie and sneeg with their life. and any semblance of normal they had before showfall is eventually Gone because they somewhat balance out the codependency charlie and sneeg have but the way the other two functioned before ranboo came along also becomes a part of them too because sneeg and charlie don't know any different. and after showfall they're all fucked up in so many different ways that some days all they can do is hold onto each other. because even if they hate each other they don't have anything else to fall back on.

and in my head i have a specific look. they have prosthetic eyes and hearing aids and the whole thing from the box. i am wanting to draw it very badly but it's been difficult because i don't know how bad the scars are gonna be around the eyes yet. not to mention the other scars but YUH

(there's gonna be more silly thoughts in parentheses btw because i am Silly with a bit of Whimsy but. post escape ran especially with the aforementioned design. he give such cozy vibes to me. like. sweaters and hot chocolate and woods. don't mind me it's the delulu cabin au using me as its puppet speaking its words)

but back to Angst. i probably said this before in another post but. when sneeg and charlie have days where they fucking hate ranboo he will literally curl up in a corner if that's what it takes to get himself out of their sight. and whether or not charlie gives a halfhearted attempt to defend them when sneeg yells at them it still sticks in their brain and they end up believing him if they didn't already.

and when sneeg and charlie fight they stop it as well as they can. they know they can still try to keep the two from clawing at each other and they do even if they get hurt in the process. they try to comfort the two when it's over. and sometimes when they try to stop the two from fighting it makes them spiral because deep down they don't know what to do or how to help or if they're making a difference in the end. and sometimes they get overstimulated during it and it takes one of the other two leading them outside and reminding them none of them are fighting for their lives and that charlie and sneeg do care about each other even when they act like they're on the verge of tearing each other apart to make him calm down.

they hate wearing masks but they still do when they can tolerate it because they know there's literal holes in their face. and even though they can't see it they hate that charlie and sneeg do. (i also have my insane au where niki tells them they look pretty and they just straight up cry. i might talk about that one later because it's part of my delulu cabin au and i love that one with my whole heart)

and to me they cannot stand anything to do with spaghetti-like noodles because it reminds them of the filter showfall put over them literally digging through charlie's organs. and it's bad. like full on breakdown bad. and charlie doesn't remember it happening so neither him or sneeg know what's going on.

in my head all three of them are so so so emotionally unstable but ranboo is in the quietest way out of the three. they aren't the type to break into fights or yell or ignore the other two the way sneeg and charlie would in their respective ways. with ranboo every time charlie sits them down to genuinely ask how they're doing they cry. when sneeg stops one day to apologize for saying they deserved the box they tell him not to be sorry for telling the truth. they hate showfall with their entire being because charlie and sneeg didn't get to see the sun for their entire lives and they don't realize that anger is there until they're up at three in the morning sobbing because they thought about it a little too hard. to me they could spend a whole day spiraling and sneeg and charlie wouldn't find out.

(side note another au i think about is one where randy eventually escapes and finds rgb trio. i love this one again because both the randy and ranboo interactions but also i enjoy the guitar headcanons implementation. the one where randy eventually gets a house and the kids are there with him. they find a guitar and randy tunes it for ranboo so they can play it, yada yada. continuing on that however in this au to ME ranboo keeps on picking away at it and eventually gets really good. and ough. i love this one so bad)

ough anyways i'm just really insane about them. i might reblog with more because sadly i have said a lot of this before. i will be probably more insane later when i have more time LMAO

#i've been typing for like an hour #can yall tell im insane

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eeriepromis · 4 months ago

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This post is part of a small series exploring Caleb’s failed psych test and what it reveals about his trauma, priorities, and coping mechanisms:

1. Caleb's Failed Psychological Test [link] [reddit] 2. Caleb's Failed Psychological Test | Caleb's Unfiltered Thoughts + Evaluation Reply [reddit] 3. Caleb's Failed Psychological Test | Follow-Up Interview with Candidate Caleb Summers [link] [reddit]

| MC is called Mei. Reasoning at the bottom.

Caleb’s Unfiltered Thoughts

1. What do you fear most when flying?

"Fear? That’s a weird way to phrase it. Fear is that thing that’s supposed to kick in when something threatens you, right? But when I’m flying, it’s the one time everything makes sense. The only thing I ever worry about is not getting back in time. Because let’s be real- if I don’t, Mei’s gonna do something reckless without me there to stop her. That’s the kind of thing they’d flag, isn’t it? Pilots are supposed to be afraid of technical failure, of crashing, of losing control. But what if the only thing I’m afraid of is losing the things I actually care about?"

2. How do you handle high-stress situations?

"I shut everything else out and do what needs to be done. Emotions? Save them for later. Freaking out? Waste of time. Joking? That’s just a distraction tactic for everyone else - makes them think I’m fine when I’m really just running on autopilot. And if I make it out alive, I’ll have a panic attack in my sleep and move on like nothing happened."

3. If faced with a life-threatening emergency, what’s your first course of action?

"Easy. Evaluate. Act. Survive. If I’m in control, I can fix it. If I’m not, I make sure whoever is doesn’t mess up. Simple. Not that I’ve ever had the luxury of not being in control. Trusting other people is kind of hard when the stakes are always this high."

4. Describe an emotionally difficult experience and how you processed it.

"There’s too many to pick from. Do they want a childhood trauma one? A my love became my sister one? A personal failure one? ‘Cause I got ‘em all. But sure, let’s go with something digestible. (...) They probably wanted some emotionally enlightening answer, but sorry - I don’t sit around reflecting on my feelings. I fix things before they get that bad again."

5. What motivates you to succeed?

"Flying was the first thing that ever felt right. Fighter jets, deep-space aircrafts - I wanted to be a pilot before I even understood what that meant. Being up there, in full control? That’s freedom. It’s not about proving anything to anyone, it’s just the one thing I know I’ll never get tired of. The fact that I’m good at it? Just a bonus."

6. What do you believe is your biggest emotional weakness?

"Define weakness. Is it being too focused on other people? Because I know I do that. Is it the fact that I don’t know how to process my own emotions? Because, yeah, that too. But you won’t hear me say it out loud. If I actually wrote down what I really think, they’d probably send me to mandatory therapy. No thanks. I know exactly what my weaknesses are. I just don’t feel like sharing with the class."

7. What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?

"I work out. I spar. I fix things. Anything but sit still and think about it. Overwhelmed is just another word for ‘not handling it well,’ and I don’t do that. If I’m busy, I don’t have time to spiral."

8. If your aircraft malfunctions mid-flight, what is your immediate reaction?

"Diagnose. Correct. Stabilize. Land. Dying’s not on my to-do list today. *Butt* if I do go down, I’ll make it look cool. Probably."

9. Have you ever had difficulty following orders?

"I don’t ‘have difficulty’ following orders. I just don’t follow stupid ones. People in charge aren’t always right. I learned that young. So if I see a better way, I’ll take it. That’s not defiance, that’s logic."

10. Do you believe emotions should play a role in decision-making?

"Panic? No. Instinct? Sometimes. Love? I will move hell and give up everything."

11. Have you ever had a panic attack or extreme anxiety? How did you handle it?

"I didn’t handle it. I survived it. Big difference. Never labeled it tho. Now I just breathe through it until it passes. If that’s not the right answer, then oh well."

12. What do you think about therapy?

"Why would I talk about things I can’t change?"

13. If someone you care about was in danger, what would you do?

"Stop it from happening. End of story. I know what happens when you fail. I know what it feels like to be too slow, too weak, too powerless. Never again. They probably wanted some kind of tactical breakdown here, but honestly? There is no question. If someone I care about is in danger, I’m the first one there. Doesn’t matter the cost. Not that they’d understand that."

14. What is your first instinct when under extreme emotional distress?

"Fix the problem. If I can’t fix it, ignore it. If I can’t ignore it- curse out my noggin and keep moving. Pausing gets people killed. I was raised on ‘don’t cry, don’t complain, don’t break.’ So I don’t. Simple. Thinking about it too much makes it worse. So you don’t stop. You just keep going. And if it eats at you later, well, that’s what sleepless nights are for. But apparently that’s a problem now? Cool. Didn’t get the memo."

15. What do you believe is the most important quality in a pilot?

"Control. Not just of the aircraft- of yourself. The second you hesitate, second-guess, or panic, it’s over. Also, not crashing. That one’s important. You ever seen someone freeze up mid-flight? Not pretty. Can’t afford that. (...) I bet they wanted me to say ‘teamwork’ or some jazz. Oops."

16. How do you think your friends would describe you?

"If you ask Mei, she’d say ‘Caleb’s annoying but takes care of everyone whether they want him to or not.’ If you ask Gideon, he’d say ‘Caleb’s competent but exhausting to deal with.’ If you ask literally anyone else, they’d probably just say ‘Summers? That guy?’ At the end of the day, I think they’d say I’m reliable and probably frustratingly good at what I do. Even if I piss them off. (...) Honestly, sometimes I don’t even know how to describe myself. What am I outside of my job? Outside of them? …Yeah, let’s move on."

17. Describe a situation where you had to remain calm under pressure.

"Once, Mei almost burned our kitchen down. I grabbed the extinguisher, saved her reckless bum, and then had to listen to her insist she ‘almost had it under control’ for an hour. But if they’re looking for something more serious - take your pick. Every day of my life is high-stakes. I’d love to say that pressure doesn’t get to me. But I think about it. Every. Single. Time."

18. Have you ever experienced prolonged sadness, stress, or anxiety? If so, how did you cope?

"Define prolonged. Because if it’s more than a few months, yeah, sure, I guess that’s been a thing. How do I cope? The usual. Keep moving. Don’t stop. Don’t think. Work until I can’t feel it anymore. Works like a charm. But if you’re asking if I ever let myself actually sit with that feeling? No. What’s the point?"

19. If you were in a life-or-death situation, what would you think about first?

"Not myself. Never myself. First thought? Mei. Always Mei. That’s the wrong answer, isn’t it? They want me to say survival. But that’s not how my brain works. First thought is: Where’s Mei? Is she safe? Then the exit strategy. Then, maybe, if there’s time, whether or not I’m making it out alive. I guess that’s weird, huh?"

20. If faced with an emergency landing scenario, what would be your first priority?

"Stabilize. Land. Walk away from it, preferably in one piece. If someone else is onboard, Get everyone down in one piece. If I don’t walk away from it, well… guess that’s a problem for future Caleb."

21. How do you react when given an order you don’t agree with?

"If it makes sense, I follow it. If they don’t, I make them make sense. I’m not going to tank a mission because someone above me was having a bad day and gave a stupid order. People don’t always see the bigger picture. That’s not insubordination - it’s intelligence. If that makes me ‘difficult,’ so be it. I’d rather be alive than blindly obedient. But sure, flag it, make it a problem. Let’s pretend blindly following orders is the hallmark of a great leader."

Caleb’s Review of the Evaluator’s Summary

💭 "Alright, let’s see what they got wrong about me."

Candidate Summers exhibits exceptional mental resilience, decisiveness, and independence, particularly in high-pressure environments.

💭 "Damn right I do."

His ability to remain focused and problem-solve under extreme circumstances is evident, making him highly capable in crisis situations.

💭 "Good, they’re acknowledging I’m not an idiot. Progress."

However, psychological assessment reveals a pattern of emotional suppression and avoidance, with a marked difficulty in acknowledging personal distress or engaging in self-reflection.

💭 "What, just because I don’t cry in front of strangers? Sounds like a ‘them’ problem."

Candidate demonstrates strong protectiveness toward those he considers important but prioritizes external responsibilities to an unhealthy degree, often at the expense of his own well-being.

💭 "Okay, first of all, rude. Second of all… yeah, that tracks."

His reliance on humor and compartmentalization as coping mechanisms suggests a subconscious aversion to vulnerability.

💭 "Jokes are cheaper than therapy. They work, don’t they?"

While this approach enables him to maintain composure under stress, it raises concerns about long-term emotional regulation and potential burnout.

💭 "Burnout is just another word for ‘job well done.’"

Additionally, his responses indicate skepticism toward authority and a preference for autonomous decision-making, which, while advantageous in leadership roles, may present challenges in structured team-based environments where adherence to protocol is critical.

💭 "Translation: ‘He thinks too much and doesn’t blindly follow orders.’"

Candidate’s psychological evaluation remains inconclusive due to habitual deflection and minimal engagement in self-analysis. Further assessment is strongly recommended to evaluate long-term stability and emotional processing capabilities. Therapy is advised to develop healthier coping mechanisms and a more balanced approach to personal and professional responsibilities.

💭 "Okay, so I deflect. A lot. But is that really my fault? I’ve spent my entire life surviving. You want me to sit and process everything I’ve been through? No thanks. I’d rather keep my hands busy. But sure, slap a ‘therapy recommended’ label on me. Like I’d ever actually go. Still, at least they got one thing right - I do my job, and I do it well. Whether they like the way I think or not."

Caleb’s Unsubmitted Reply Letter:

Dear Evaluator, Thanks for the free therapy session. Didn’t even have to book an appointment. You really nailed the whole ‘emotional suppression’ thing. Big points for observation. I appreciate the thorough analysis, really. Nothing like being called out in an official report to brighten my day. Mental resilience? Thanks. Decisiveness? Absolutely. Strong protectiveness? Yeah, tell me something I don’t know. Didn’t realize not breaking down every five minutes meant I have ‘an aversion to vulnerability.’ Here I thought it just meant I was functional. Prioritizing external responsibilities over personal well-being? Yeah. Someone’s gotta do it. If that’s unhealthy, well… I’ve seen worse ways to cope. Burnout risk? Yeah, okay, fair. But I’ll sleep when I’m dead. The whole ‘autonomous decision-making’ concern? You do realize I’m training to fly a fighter jet, right? You want me to hesitate and wait for approval when things go sideways? Thought so. And what exactly do you want me to do? Sit down in front of a stranger and unpack my childhood trauma? Maybe talk about how I watched Mei die over and over, or how I was forced to use my Evol on things that were still breathing? Yeah, let’s do that. Sounds like a fantastic idea. I’m sure they won’t immediately classify me as a ‘high risk’ and throw me in a mental ward. Look, I get it. My coping mechanisms aren’t ‘ideal.’ But they’re mine. And they’ve kept me alive this long. I’m still here, aren’t I? Still flying, still fighting, still keeping the people I care about safe. That’s gotta count for something. Anyway. Appreciate the concern. Not taking the therapy suggestion though. Hope that doesn’t keep you up at night. Sincerely (but not really), Caleb Summers

📝 Why I'm Calling MC 'Mei'

Since using "MC" can take readers out of the immersion, I’m dubbing her Mei, short for the Chinese word “Mei mei” (younger sister).

"Mei" is also a Chinese name that means:

Plum, Beautiful; Life; Bright; Bud, sprout; Month of May

Month of May Meaning: May comes from the Latin Maius, probably referring to the goddess Maia. She embodied the concept of growth, both in nature and in business. Others connect Maius with Maiores, the ancestors or “the greater ones.”

May is the 5th month, and in Chinese numerology, the number 5 (五, wǔ) is associated with the five elements (wood, fire, earth, metal, water) and balance.

May marks the transition from spring to early summer, symbolizing growth, energy, and new beginnings.

Each year, May falls under different Chinese zodiac signs, which affects its symbolism: It often overlaps with Snake Month (巳月, sì yuè in the lunar calendar, representing wisdom, transformation, and hidden power. (In some Buddhist and Daoist beliefs (Chinese philosophy), rebirth is seen as a cycle of transformation, where souls take on new forms based on karma.)

May is a time of high Yang energy, as it transitions into summer. According to Daoist cosmology, excess Yang without enough Yin can disturb balance, affecting the soul's journey after death. Some Daoist traditions emphasize spirit refinement and transcendence from the cycle of reincarnation - seeking immortality rather than rebirth.

⸻

Note: Logo on the left of Header Image generated with AI.

#dividers by @cafekitsune #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #caleb #love and deepspace caleb #lads caleb #caleb quotes #humor #lads funny #Caleb's Failed Psychological Test #lads drabble #Eerie's Drabbles

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runningmunson · 3 years ago

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Already in Deep

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem Nurse!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Eddie survives and beings to fall for his nurse.

Warning: swearing, hospital and medical procedure?, reference of nightmares, Eddie being Eddie

Eddie was alive, minutes from death, but still alive. Now that wasn’t to say his road to recovery wouldn’t be long, painful, and difficult. It had already been a little under two weeks since he was brought into the ER, clinging to life. He has since had two major surgeries, been on life support in a medically induced coma, and a week later finally woke up.

On day 12 of his hospital stay, his usual night nurse, Clara, was about to change his dressings. It wasn't anything new, just a part of his daily routine since being in the hospital. However, this was his first one since having his second surgery and they weren’t fun.

Before starting, Clara went to the door to call for help, “Hey, (Y/N)! Can you help me with this dressing change?” A few seconds pass and in walks the most beautiful woman Eddie has ever seen. Your hair was pulled back out of your face, donning blue scrubs and a bounce to your step. “Yeah, I can!” you said, your voice like music to his ears.

Shit. All he had to do was take one look at you to know he was already in deep.

“Alright, Eddie, this is (Y/N) and we are going to change these bandages,” Clara said, taking the tape off. Eddie winced at this, the tape pulling at his skin. You noticed and spoke up.

“Why don’t we use some alcohol swabs? That helps loosen the tape up so it won’t pull so much,” you explained to Eddie. You start taking the old dressings off, Eddie suddenly becoming increasingly insecure at the thought of you seeing his mangled body. He was looking at your face, waiting for a look of disgust but it never came, something he would forever be thankful for. You on the other hand were shocked at what you saw, you’ve seen injuries before but never this bad. You kept a poker face on, knowing how difficult it must be for Eddie. Clara reached for the sterile water and began pouring it on the wounds.

“Son of a bitch, that fucking hurts!” Eddie yelled. He sat up to avoid anything touching his skin. Pain radiated throughout his torso at the quick movement. “Damn, sorry. I just wasn’t expecting that to hurt so bad.”

You held out your hand to Eddie, “Here, hold my hand.”

“Woah, at least let me ask you out on a date first,” Eddie said with a wink. You let out a laugh. His heart rate picked up at that sound. Clara started the process again causing Eddie to wince and grab your hand. He squeezed it tight but knew it wasn’t doing much to help so you started up a conversation.

“You play guitar right? How about you tell me more about that?” You asked, trying to distract him. How did you know he played guitar? Maybe someone mentioned it to you but he wasn’t sure.

Eddie began telling you all about his guitar, describing it, and talking about his favorite songs he loved to play. His eyes were bright with excitement, something Clara told you later she hadn’t seen since he’s been here.

The next thing Eddie knew, you and Clara were both done. He barely even paid attention to the pain after your conversation. You let go of his hand (all too soon he thought) and left to wash your hands. Walking out the door you said your goodbyes with a smile, “it was nice seeing you again, Eddie!” See him again? Eddie was sure he would have remembered a face like yours.

—————————————————————

A few days had passed. Shift change was about to begin and Eddie was wondering if Clara was going to be his nurse again tonight. To Eddie’s surprise, you came walking into his door with your bright smile. “Hey Eddie, looks like you’re stuck with me tonight!”

Oh thank God, Eddie thought. Except you laughed. “Oh shit, I said that out loud didn’t I?” Eddie’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

“Yeah, but that’s alright. I know Clara can be a bit much sometimes.” You laughed, trying to play it off and ease his tension. You continued with his typical routine, assessing vitals, giving meds, and changing his dressings. “They’re looking much better!”

“You think so? They’re gonna leave some nasty scars.” Eddie hated the thought of that. He was never very insecure about his body but that was before he was attacked by bats trying to rip his body apart.

“They probably will.” You said, seeing his face drop. “But if you ask me, they’re pretty badass. I know a lot of girls who dig scars.” Eddie hoped you were one of those girls.

“I have a question for you,” Eddie said as you were finishing up.

“Yeah? Go ahead.”

“You said you knew I played guitar and said it was nice to see me again? I’m sorry, but if I’m honest I've been racking my brain trying to think of where I would know you from and it’s coming up empty.” Eddie would never admit how long he really spent thinking about this.

You laughed at this, “We went to school together. I don’t blame you for not remembering me. I tried to stay out of everybody’s way and survive high school. You, however, were quite memorable if I do say so, Eddie Munson.”

Memorable was one way to put it, considering you had a major crush on him after sitting next to him in one of your classes during your sophomore year. Most of the school hated him. He was loud, messy, a bit awkward, untamed, and nonconforming but he was completely and unapologetically himself. But oh boy were you into that.

“Memorable, huh? Well, I’m a little disappointed in myself that I didn’t remember a sweetheart such as yourself.” Eddie smirked.

Your cheeks turned red, Eddie taking notice. “Well, I don’t remember you being such a flirt.”

“Is that a problem with you?” he questioned, already knowing it wasn't.

“I would be lying if I said it was. And as much as I would enjoy staying and talking to you, I need to go check on my other patients. You try to get some rest. Just let me know if you need anything.” You said and left the room, the same feelings you first had for Eddie creeping back in.

———————————————————

It was nearing 2 AM. You were sitting at your desk charting when you heard a scream coming from Eddie’s room breaking the silence. You bolt out of your chair running to his room. When you reach the door you throw it open, scanning the room to see what was happening. Eddie was sitting up with tears in his eyes, sweat glistening on his forehead, and his long hair stuck to his face in some places. His breathing was erratic.

You rush over to him, taking his face in your hands. You start talking to him gently, trying to coax him out of his trance, “Eddie, it’s (Y/N). I’m right here with you.” His eyes met yours and all you could see was the terror he felt looking right back at you. Your hands leave his face and go to tightly hold his hands.

“You’re okay, you’re safe. I’m not going anywhere. Just take some deep breaths, follow my lead,” you place one of his hands on your chest, taking slow deep breaths. After several minutes he was finally calming down. Eddie opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the right words to say.

“Who knew that me having a nightmare would get my hands so close to your chest?” Eddie said, trying to lighten the mood. If that came from any other patient’s mouth you would probably scold them, but since it was from Eddie all you could do was laugh. It even brought a small laugh out of him.

You could tell he didn’t want to talk about what happened. Trying to think about what to say to change the subject you spotted a book on his side table. “The Return of the King? You read Tolkien?”

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I know, it’s a little nerdy but they’re my favorite.”

“Nerdy? Definitely not! Tolkien is a literary genius and these books are amazing! You don’t find too many people around Hawkins who have good taste in literature,” you said. Eddie’s face brightened at this, a huge smile tugging at his lips before he let out a huge yawn. Then an idea popped into your head.

“You know, reading always helps me fall back asleep. I can read to you if you want,” you asked.

“Would you really?” Eddie asked excitedly before continuing. “I mean, only if you’re not busy or anything.”

“No, I’m all caught up right now!” That was a lie but Eddie didn’t need to know about the mountain of charting you still had to do. Taking care of Eddie was more important to you right now.

“Alright, let's see where you left off,” you picked up the book and started reading. “At dawn three days ago, lord’ he said, ‘Shadowfax came like a wind out of the West to Edoras, and Gandalf brought tidings of your victory to gladden our hearts…” The last thing Eddie remembers is hearing your sweet voice reading to him before drifting off to sleep in what was the first peaceful night he’s had since that day in the Upside Down.

Eddie was awoken the next morning to the sun peaking through the blinds and you quietly writing the goals for today on his board.

“Good morning Sunshine,” Eddie called out in a raspy voice. You turned around to see him looking well rested, last night's nightmare long forgotten.

“Good morning Eddie. It’s about time for me to clock out and head home. Your day shift nurse should be in shortly.” You said, not looking forward to leaving him. Eddie must have been thinking the same thing.

“Would you go out on a date with me? Give me a good reason to get better and the hell out of this place?” Eddie asked confidently and straight to the point. You froze, if only your younger self could see you now.

“Uh, I unfortunately can’t say yes because that is against hospital policy.” Eddie’s face slightly dropped. Maybe he read the signs wrong. “However, if you ever see me around town then you might just get a different answer,” you smile at Eddie and walk out of his room to continue your final rounds.

Eddie was determined more than ever to get out of that damn hospital and land himself a date.

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson #eddie munson oneshot #stranger things imagine #stranger things

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