#STEM study guide
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So I haven't posted any updates on Kofi recently but only because I've been working on something cool!
In my YA fantasy novel, Runaways, the main character Hannah has a special interest in identifying the plants and animals she finds by their scientific names. So I designed a STEM themed study guide that educates readers about some of the creatures that are named in the book by sharing their scientific and common names, photographs, their habitat range, and fun facts!
It also includes activities you can do at home to get out in nature or get hands-on with crafts. It's somewhat aimed for younger readers (being a YA book) but it could also be used as a teaching tool if you're an educator, librarian, parent, etc. The activities include things like tapping maple trees, making spore prints, and birdwatching, with links to outside sources for instructions.
There are 21 pages and 12 different species featured!
Here's a sample page of our favorite animal companion, Kit-Kat. Hannah befriends this least weasel early in her journey and he becomes a huge helper to her!
Each page features an excerpt from the book and there's even a fun code that's featured in the story:
If you want to get a copy, it's available (at a discount) to Ko-Fi members on the $3 tier along with other exclusive Runaways content, or you can get it on my shop as a digital download for $5.
I'll be talking about this more in the coming weeks but I wanted to let people get it early if they wanted!
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adhd study tips.
by a stem student with adhd.
disclaimer!!! I’m by no means an expert in mental health or adhd but I do happen to have it. My intention with this post is to help others with adhd get more comfortable with studying so the process will be smoother for them!! At the end of the day, despite having the same disorder our brains will still work differently so do keep in mind that these may or may not help you, but are something you can try out if you’re stuck on not being able to study efficiently.
here’s some adhd study affirmations + tips on straying from discouragement if you’re experiencing burnout.
(And here’s part 2 of adhd study tips.)
I’ll start this off by listing more commonly known study tips that also work well with adhd.
change up your environment every now and then. we seek novelty even more than neurotypical people already do so switching it up will definitely help in our studies, especially if the place is well lit!
try some questions of the topic you’re trying to learn even when you know nothing about it. both neurotypical and neurodivergent brains are hardwired to remember things when we are proven wrong, and this is a great way of utilizing this neurological response!
take walks, exercise or stretch during your breaks. this tip is very effective at satiating our hyperactivity and also keeps us energized throughout our study session.
keep a notebook for your brain dump / ideas. we always either think of really stupid things or the most brilliant ideas in the middle of our study sessions and it almost always leads to distraction, but writing it down somewhere lets your brain know that the idea isn’t going anywhere and you can continue studying.
now, onto the tips that have personally helped with my adhd (and I haven’t seen many others talk about.)
alternate between various study plans, routines, schedules and techniques and always be open to finding more of them. majority of the time people always say ‘have a routine that works for you and stick with it’ but our adhd brains get bored very quickly, especially when it comes to repeated routines and schedules. I personally never stick to the same routine or plan more than three days in a row and sometimes I even make a plan on the spot and I’ve been more productive doing that than when I had only one or two study routines to switch between.
do not time yourself at the very beginning. Instead, focus on something in your studies you’re interested in and start there. what do I mean by this? well, since starting is always the hardest, when we begin our very first pomodoro we might find ourselves spending the first 25 minutes zoning out on a textbook just to get that ‘study time’ in even though you didn’t actually learn or recall anything. So to combat this, begin with something you’re genuinely curious about, or ask a question you can’t help but wonder the answer to. Once you find the answer, you might find you’re more in the zone and can continue from there. If not, take a short break and begin the pomodoros afterwards.
if you’re zoning out while reading up on a topic, try walking around while reading, looking at different sources on it or do some questions on that topic. again, novelty always gets us every time. sometimes the problem may be that the explanation in front of you isn’t making sense in your head and other sources may phrase things in a way that is better for your understanding. perhaps the problem is that you’re staying too still and you need to satisfy the hyperactive part of your adhd. or maybe your brain subconsciously believes that they already know what needs to be known about this topic, and there’s no better way to test that by trying out some questions on it.
switch between lyrical and non-lyrical music playlists, but make sure the lyrical music inspires you to excel. this definitely won’t apply to a lot of people but I found that when I constantly listened to piano, lo-fi or just non-lyrical music while studying in general, it actually promoted my likelihood of zoning out. but recently I found a playlist I deeply resonated with that was related to my studies called, ‘pov : a try-hard mid student who wants to ace everything’ and because I related very deeply with both the title and the lyrics of the songs, I was actively being encouraged to study as I was studying. but I also recognize when I really need to think in certain areas and that’s when I switch back to the non-lyrical music.
this is all I have as of right now but please do lmk if you guys want more of these!! I really wanna help out as much people as possible because my studies suffered greatly due to both my adhd and my late diagnosis of it and I’d love to help out others going through something similar.
#stem#science#study tips#study#study hard#studyblr#studyinspo#study motivation#studystudystudy#studygram#study guide#study gram#adhd problems#adhd#actually adhd#adhd stuff#adhd things#adhd tips#living with adhd#adhd study tips#adhd student#adhd struggles
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actually got an 80 on my orgo 2 midterm and it motivated me to finally start studying properly! so i'm already making study guides like a month before my next exam. if any of you are unlucky enough to be taking orgo 2 yourselves you're free to use them too :)
#positive reinforcement works so well LMAO#buzzing#buzzart#? i guess#buggie's nerd stuff#college#stem#organic chemistry#orgo#orgo 2#study sheet#study guide#aromatic#aromatic rings
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seeing all the lovely people on my feed, all these hardworking, motivated individuals who are trying to do better, to do their best, really make my heart happy.
just know that I'm really grateful and hope you get wherever you want <3
#college#100 days of studying#academia#30nym#academic validation#math#college life#mathblr#productivity challenge#stem student#study notes#study space#study tips#studying#study motivation#study with me#study aesthetic#study blog#study buddy#study community#study guide#study inspiration#study hard#study inspo#studyblr#studyblr community#studyinspo#studystudystudy#studyspo#study
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1 final down. 4 to go
#it went well!! it was for stagecraft#i studied a lot but also started late but the study guide the prof gave me was Literally The Test. like some questjons were changed bc the#class didnt understand them on review day but other than that The Study Guide Was The Test#there was 1 question that i just couldnt fucking answer tho so rip me#then i got a churro waffle from a truck on campus that was lit#art history final tomorrow!!! the honors lounge will be giving out hot chocolate so mb i'll snag some of that#n e way niamh marie updates#why did i take all my stem gen eds in 1 sem im so stupid#its ok tho next sem im taking my last gen ed (that i can only take spring sem of my soph year) & then a bunch of classes im super excited#for!!! yayyyyy#ok NOW thats it for niamh marie updatss
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From historic walking tours with period-attired guides to immersive STEM cruises, Watermarks brings education to life for students in Annapolis and Baltimore, Maryland.

Watermark offers a wide variety of experiences in these two historic Maryland cities. Combine a walking tour with a cruise for a full land and sea adventure!

Our social studies field trips in Annapolis and Baltimore immerse your students in unique experiences with guided historic walking tours and narrated sightseeing cruises.

Our STEM field trips in Annapolis and Baltimore offer indoor and outdoor hands-on learning experiences that meet environmental-literacy standards.

Celebrate with your students! From pirate cruises to DJ pizza party cruises, we offer fun experiences on the water that are perfect for your special event.
#womens history#us presidents#us naval academy#us history#tour guides#stem#state history#state government#social studies#presidents#pizza party#middle school#meal options#maryland state house#live guided tours#history#high school#guided tours#Government#Field Trip#environmental studies#Elementary School#Curriculum#Cruise#Colonial History#Boat Cruise#black history#baltimore#annapolis#African American Heritage
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Seagrass Diagram

Patreon
#studyblr#notes#marine science#marine science notes#marine bio#marine bio notes#marine biology notes#marine biology#marine sci#marine sci notes#science#science notes#study guides#diagrams#life science#life science notes#stem#seagrass#marine botany#botany
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hypothalamus



note: this is just me reidsplaining neuro i fear. and being horny. sorry? inspired by my real life final that i so bravely studied for without spencer's help </3
summary: in which spencer gets creative on helping you study for your exam
cw: smut 18+ minors dni, fem!reader, fingering, p in v sex, heavy praise kink, neuroscience jargon
wc: 2.3k
apologies in advance if it sounds too sciencey it is unfortunately the side effect of a woman in stem. bunsen burner! (divider by @firefly-graphics)
The dry erase marker crumbs stick to your hand as you angrily erase the whiteboard again, internally groaning as you restart drawing your diagram hopefully correctly this time. It’s not. After another few failed attempts you slump back in your chair and huff out in frustration, too deep in your sulk to hear the front door open.
“Hey I’m home!” Spencer calls out, bending down to remove his shoes.
“In the study.” you grumble out, a surprise he even heard you when he walks in a minute later. His gaze softens as he takes in the scene. Your notes strewn across the table, your whiteboard dark with marker smudges that match the side of your hand in which you used to erase it. The exhaustion clear as day on your face and the hint of defeat in your eyes is enough to draw him closer to you.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” he says softly.
You sniffle, not exactly crying but the stress was bringing you to the brink, “S’nothing, just trying to study and it’s not working. Feel dumb.”
He sighs and rounds the desk, sitting on the edge and reaching for your hands as he looks down at you, “What did I tell you about saying things like that?”
“To not to.” you mumble.
He laughs softly, “Well, yes. But it’s because you’re too hard on yourself. You were just explaining all of this to me yesterday.”
You whine, “I know and it feels like I forgot it already!”
“Maybe you just need to approach it differently,” he tucks a stray hair behind your ear, “Your whiteboard isn’t helping?”
“No,” you sigh, “I keep drawing it wrong and it’s frustrating me.”
The despair in your voice makes his heart ache, and all he wishes is to be able to take it away. Spencer remains deep in thought before something clicks in his mind, you see the shift in him but you’re unable to discern what epiphany he’s reached. His eyes sparkle with mischief as his entire demeanor changes, “I think you might need a different type of visual.”
Your eyes squint in confusion before you realize what he’s getting at, and you can’t help but laugh. “You’re not serious? This is a joke, right?”
He doesn’t break eye contact, “Humor me.”
The laughter dies down on your tongue as you take in and consider the very intentional nature of his words. “How so?”
“You’re studying brain structures right?” you nod, “Okay well, what better way to study than with some active learning?”
You couldn’t look less convinced. Spencer chuckles, reaching for your hand to switch places with him so he’s seated on the chair. You move forward hesitantly, he holds a hand out to gently pull you closer while using the other hand on your hip guides you onto his lap. You part your knees on either side of him and situate comfortably on him, arms slinking around his neck.
“Hi, pretty girl.”
You soften, “Hi. Are you sure this isn’t a ruse to get me in bed?”
“Oh come on, we’ll kill two birds with one stone. A lot of the hypothalamic functions are very important during intercourse,” he trails his fingers up and down your side, “You’ll get to study with a real life application and relieve some of your stress.”
You move your hips slightly, smiling when you feel him harden beneath you at the simple movement, “Alright, I’m game.”
He matches your grin and presses a kiss to the base of your jaw, “Need you to help me with my pants for this to work, baby.”
The soft kiss already sends you into a dizzy fit, nodding mindlessly as you scoot back to allow yourself space to work on undoing his belt and zipper. You aren’t even sure what his plan is, but if it keeps him talking to you like that you’re afraid there might be nothing you won’t do for him. Spencer’s eyes are focused on you while yours are focused at your handiwork, unable to resist slipping a hand in and palming him through his boxers.
“Ah—h baby, not yet.” he hisses at the contact, reluctantly removing your hand, “S’about you remember? We’re studying. So, tell me something about the thalamus.”
“Okay, the thalamus functions as a relay center for both sensory and m—oh—tor functions.” you moan feeling his lips attach to your neck, slowly marking a path down the slope of your nape with chaste kisses.
He looks up at you briefly, smiling smugly, “Why’d you stop? Keep going.”
You clear your throat as he continues his descent towards your shoulder, motioning for you to lift your arms so he can take off the shirt you’re wearing. His lips immediately reattach before he stops in place once more, brown eyes peering up at you knowingly amid your silence.
“R—Right, so there’s a structure called the lateral geniculate nucleus, fuck.” you curse feeling him suckle a hickey into the crease of your neck.
“Yeah?” he mumbles, “And what does it do?”
His lips descend further down, teasing the lace edges on your bra. You yelp as he nips playfully, “It um, it helps send um…visual stimuli to the brain, right?”
A wicked grin spreads on his face, “That is right, smart girl.” His fingers trace the outline of your bra to the back where he expertly unclasps it, letting it fall to the floor. “You keep getting it right, and I’ll reward you each time, yeah?”
You nod hypnotically, eager to please him and seek his rewards. A soft gasp leaves you as you feel him latch onto your breast, letting his tongue swirl around the peak of your nipple and feeling it harden under his touch. You tighten your arms around him as he latches onto the other breast, moaning softly as he makes sure to give it the same special attention.
You grind your hips down and he lets out a low groan, arm tightening around your waist, suspending your movement. “Can’t do that, sweetheart” he strains, “You gotta earn it.”
Another whine leaves your throat, dropping your head to his neck. He really wasn’t making this easy. “Okay, so ask me something else then.”
His nose brushes up the length of your neck before his hands reach for the notes behind you, “Anterior nuclei of the thalamus.”
Before you get a chance to think about the answer, you’re distracted by his wandering hands again. Only this time, they’re going down towards where you really need him.
“Spence,” you say breathlessly, letting yourself get lost in the pleasure for a moment.
“Nuh uh,” he pauses his ministrations, “Answer first, reward second. I told you the rules, don’t make me repeat it.”
You whimper and Spencer almost folds—almost. But for the sake of your education, and definitely not the way you look perched on his lap, he treks on.
He does feel a little pity and decides to show you a bit of mercy when he motions for you to lift up slightly so he can pull your pajama shorts all the way off.
“That feel better?” he whispers, hot breath fanning your face. You nod hastily. “Okay then. Anterior nuclei of the thalamus.”
“Um…the anterior nuclei is responsible for—“ your breath hitches as his finger traces the edge of your panties. “Memory, right? Hippocampus.” you rush out.
You feel him smile and nod, “Correct,” his finger hooks onto the fabric and pulls it to the side, the cold air not even hitting you before he swipes through your folds.
Your head drops to his shoulder as you let out a shuddering sigh, peppering kisses up his neck as his fingers provide the much needed attentiveness you needed. He chuckles softly, “Just relax. You’re doing good, pretty girl.”
He helps you remove your underwear, maneuvering you so he can smoothly slide them off your legs. His fingers collect the slick and glides up to circle your clit, grinning when he hears you whine loudly. He continues to move across your pussy before retracting his finger while you let out a soft whimper. You’re about to protest when you see the intention of his removal, watching his hand slip below his boxers to gently pull himself out. He gives himself a few pumps before laying flat against his body, guiding your hips so your cunt is flush with the topside of his dick.
He holds your hips down preventing you from moving, “Hypothalamus?”
The cock drunk state is getting to you and he’s not even inside you yet, “It’s a um…it regulates…stuff.” you trail off, his lips returning to your neck.
He sucks another hickey onto your neck, licking over it and pulling back to gently blow on it. “Not good enough,” he whispers, “Try again.”
You whimper, “Okay—Okay, it sends signals for…sympathetic response—fight or flight” the end of your voice lilting up as he begins to move your hips.
“Keep going.”
The sensation of your cunt sliding up and down his length is enough to send you into delirium, and you’re honestly impressed you’re still able to speak. “It also does,” you take a deep breath for regulation, “It signals appetite and eating…and…”
He slides you forward enough so the tip of his cock is barely breaching your entrance, “One more, pretty girl.”
You rack your brain as you try to force yourself to focus, and not think about the way his tip is stretching your opening, teasing you relentlessly. The answer comes to you in a lightbulb moment, “Intercourse,” you moan, “releases hormones for sex.”
Spencer grins again, “Good girl.”
He lifts your hips a little, and the shift in angle is enough to fully slide himself inside you, the feeling causing you both to moan in tandem. The stretch of his cock inside you splits you apart beautifully, making you feel so full.
You whine his name again as you try to move, getting louder when you realize his hands are still clamped to your side, holding you square in place, “Wanna move, please.”
“Oh baby, you know I love it when you use your manners,” he touts, pressing kisses up your chest, “One more question and I’ll give you what you need, okay?”
You nod quickly, waiting impatiently for his last question.
“Tell me the two hormones made in the hypothalamus.” he whispers against your skin.
“I know one is antidiuretic hormone…” you breathe out shakily, “But, there’s one more I can’t remember.”
“I’ll give you a hint.” his hands slowly begin to guide you up and down on him, a languished moan leaving your throat. The feeling of him pushing against your cervix is so detrimentally distracting, like all you’re focused on is the pure euphoria your body is chasing. It’s clouding your judgement, your senses. It’s all consuming as the pleasure spreads throughout you.
Wait.
Oh.
Spencer seems to sense that you’ve reached an answer and thrusts up into you, “Ah—Knew you’d get there. What is it, baby?”
You let out a sharp gasp before answering, “Oxytocin.”
He doesn’t give a verbal praise but his face splits into a wide grin, finally loosening the grip on your hips and allowing you full reign to chase your peak. You brace yourself on his shoulders and increase your pace, his hands returning to your sides facilitating your movements.
“Such a smart girl you are, baby,” he coos, “Taking me so well and getting all the answers right?”
“Spence…”
“You’re just so good, angel. My beautiful, intelligent girl,” he continues to praise, feeling you clench around him, “My good girl, isn’t that right?”
Any and every neuronal connection in your brain is fried at this point, melded down to nothing but atoms at the hands of Spencer Reid, clearly reveling in your fucked out state as evidenced by your incoherent babbling. His hands grip your sides tighter and pulls you harder when you sink down, the sound echoing throughout the study.
“ ‘m close,” you mumble as you slump into his shoulder letting him fully takeover. He stills his movements for a second before standing up with his hands under your legs to sit you on the desk in front of you. Your hands detach from his shoulders and hold you up from behind as you lean back and let Spencer pull your body towards him.
He continues to fuck into you, the new position allowing him better control for calculated thrusts and a faster pace. Words don’t exist in your lexicon anymore and you hope he can understand your babbles as you attempt to communicate with him that your orgasm is about to overtake you entirely.
He knows, obviously, because it’s you. He slides a finger down to your clit to further drive you to the edge, leaning down to whisper, “Come for me, baby. You’ve earned it.”
With a high pitched whine you crash into your peak with the full force of your body, vision temporarily going white before returning in splotchy spots. Spencer comes not too far behind you, fucking the last of his come into you before stilling completely.
You both pant heavily as you try to catch your breaths, and Spencer leans forward to rest his forehead on yours. “You alright?”
“I think you fucked me dumb.”
He laughs breathlessly, “Actually, I think I fucked you smart.”
You swat his shoulder lightly and laugh, “That was so bad.”
He smoothes your hair back before gently pulling out, using your discarded shirt to clean you up a bit. His lips press a kiss to forehead, then your nose, both cheeks, before landing on your lips kissing you deeply.
You pull back suddenly, “Wait, I still have like, five more sections to review.”
Spencer’s wicked grin returns. “Well, we better get to work.” He effortlessly picks you up from the desk as you giggle and wrap your legs around him. He reaches the bedroom and delicately tosses you on the bed, looking down as he stands over you at the edge.
“Gotta make sure you get that A, pretty girl.”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut
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was tempted to write more of this idea of simon x single mom!reader. ty to @weemansoap for the meet cute idea. mention of past abuse/domestic violence in one paragraph, nothing graphic.
-> more here
There's a young lad that can't be more than five or six years of age crouched behind the overgrown bush near the entryway that leads to his flat complex. A strange sight to come home to after months away on deployment. One he's not sure what to make of yet, but Simon approaches, coming up on the kid's blindspot. He doesn't see any parents around. Best find out what this kid is up to.
"Oi, what're you doin' out 'ere, lad?"
The kid startles comedically, nearly falling on his rump, but he manages to catch himself before looking up at Simon, a toothy, mischievous grin on his face. "I'm gonna scare Mama!"
Simon raises an eyebrow. "Your mum doesn't know you're here?"
"No." The boy giggles. "I ran ahead while she was putting on her shoes."
"You shouldn't do that," Simon says, though not quite admonishing him. "You probably scared your mum enough pulling that stunt."
The lad frowns. "I only ran away. What's so scary about that?"
A lot of things. Simon remembers his own mother frantically calling out his name once upon a time. The fear in her eyes. The trembling grip when she finally found him again. The sobbing. The apologies. The promises to be a better mother. The pain she experienced when his father blamed her for losing track of a son he didn't care about. Pain that was Simon's fault. Pain that his father later inflicted on him.
Lots of things are scary when a child runs away. But this lad doesn't need to know the extent.
"Your mum loves you, yeah?" He waits until the kid nods, continuing, "Then it'll always scare her when you runaway. Not knowing where you are. Thinking she lost you. Would it scare you if you lost her?"
"Oh..." The kid looks at the ground, penitent. "I didn't think of it that way."
Simon grunts, studying the lad, debating with himself before deciding fuck it. He clicks his tongue twice and the lad looks up. "Which floor you live on, mate? I'll bring you back to your mum."
"3C."
Simon hums thoughtfully. That one was previously vacant last time he was here. "Right next to me."
The lad perks up. "Really?"
He nods, gesturing towards the building, ready to guide the kid back home, but a voice suddenly rings out like a shock of ice water running down his back.
"Simon, you stay right there, young man!"
For a brief- very brief- second, Simon tenses up. He hasn't heard that angry motherly tone stemmed from fear directed at him since he was a boy. Part of him feels reprimanded, as if he needs to bow his head and meekly apologize for upsetting his mother, fleeting memories of his mum scolding him flashing through his brain. But the feeling quickly dissipates when he sees you, frazzled and anxious, running towards him like an unstoppable force that reminds him of the ocean wind.
It's a stunning sight, Simon notes absently; however, he doesn't take any longer to admire the view you make running towards him. Or, well, the boy. Rather than looking at Simon, you're looking at the lad he's been talking to, a wild, worried look in your eyes the closer you get, glancing at Simon quickly, warily, then back at the boy, the look of a mother bear ready to defend her cub gracing your features, and that's when it clicks.
Ah. Simon.
Your boy's name is Simon.
Funny, that. It almost makes him snort.
The lad in question doesn't seem to register your near feral state, but Simon steps away from your wayward son as to not aggravate you any further.
"Mama, I made a friend!" Your son announces proudly once you rush up to them. "He lives next to us! In, um..."
"3A," Simon interjects when the kid falters. You glance at him in acknowledgment before turning back to your child.
"Oh? How sweet." You smile tightly at the lad, giving him a subtle once over for anything out of place, and reach out to gently tug him further away from Simon, crouching to pick him up. "It's good to make friends with the neighbors, honey, but you can't go running off like that. I was worried when you took off without warning."
The boy in your arms looks properly contrite, bowing his head and wrapping his arms around your neck, voice muffled as he apologizes, "I know. I'm sorry, Mama. I won't runaway ever again. Promise. The nice man told me you would be upset."
"Did he?" You look at Simon, gaze still guarded but there's a hint of something grateful in your eyes. "Well, he was right. I was upset, but as long as you keep your promise, you're forgiven."
His little name twin perks up, giggling and hugging you tighter. "I will! I love you, Mama."
"I love you, too, hon." You give your son a tender look, pressing a kiss to his temple, but it drops once you look at Simon, studying him with a cautious look. You hesitate for a second longer before adjusting your hold on your boy then hold a hand out, giving him your name and your gratitude. "3A? Are you new? I haven't seen you around... Regardless, thank you for keeping an eye on this one. I hope he didn't cause you any trouble."
"I travel for work." He grips your hand and gives it a squeeze, "And he didn't. Your boy's a good lad. I'm Simon."
Your eyebrows lift, mouth dropping slightly agape and hand lingering in his perhaps a tad too long before you recover, letting go, and smile sweetly at your boy who stares up at him with wide, awed eyes. "My name is Simon, too!"
You don't make a sound, but Simon can see you shake with silent laughter, your eyes sparkling for the child in your arms. He catches your eye, and you tilt your head with a hopeful, doe-eyed look for him to indulge your boy a little longer.
Ah, what the hell.
"Really?" Simon raises a disbelieving brow. "Since when?"
"Since I was born!" The boy laughs and you shoot Simon a genuine smile. "You're funny, Simon."
Oh, Johnny could tell your boy just how funny he could really be. He can already hear the groan his sergeant would give.
Don't put the poor lad through that, LT.
He's not hearing any complaints, Johnny. The lad seems to appreciates his humor. And you do too from the looks of it.
"It's a fine name, innit?"
"Uh-huh! Mama named me!"
He switches to look at you. "That right?"
Your smile turns a hint shy under his attention, but you nod with a noncommittal hum, adding nothing more to the conversation. Instead, you start your own. An abrupt, obvious dismissal. "Well, sorry to hold you up, Simon, but we should get going. This Simon needs to go school supply shopping."
Your son pouts, but otherwise doesn't complain. Good lad.
"Say goodbye to," your eyes wash over him, darting up and down, properly taking him in, "Big Simon, Simon."
A rush of amusement passes through him. That's a new one. Not the worst thing he's ever heard, but certainly accurate. He might even like it.
Big Simon tilts his head, raising a brow, and immediately you fluster at the nickname you've given him, eyes widening and head ducking down so you don't have to look him in the eyes, but it's too late to take it back. Little Simon is already waving goodbye at him.
"Bye, Simon, it was nice to meet you!"
There's a flash, and for a moment, Simon sees another young lad waving at him in another mother's arms, another Riley's voice echoing in his ear, asking him when he's gonna settle down, but then they're gone in a blink and he's looking at you and Little Simon again.
It almost makes him pause, but Simon forces them out of his mind and focuses on you and the boy in your arms.
"Nice to meet you too, kid." He gestures to you next. "Be good for your mum. She's a lovely lady, and lovely ladies deserve the best, yeah?"
Your son agrees with an enthusiastic nod, but while he remains oblivious to your flustered state, Simon feels an unfamiliar sort of satisfaction when you stutter out your own goodbyes, leaving him to ponder on things he hasn't thought of in years.
Settle down, huh? That's not for him, but looking at you and your lad...
Simon can almost see the appeal in a domestic life.
-
wrote this kinda sleepy, idk how I feel about it hope its alright tho
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Green with Envy
more levi x blind!fem!reader cw: 2.8k words, cussing, jealousy, a little angst, a little comfort tldr: three times levi let his jealousy unravel find more silly levi drabbles in my masterlist <3
There were three times Levi let his jealousy truly unravel.
The first was long ago in The Underground, after Furlan and Isabel came around. It was one day where Furlan came to your room in the brothel to wait for Levi to get back— Something he needed to talk about with him, he said. It wasn’t unusual for this to happen, and you were always happy to have him around, to fill up the empty room with some chatter and noise.
You were even younger and more naive than you are now, a teenager with almost no experience of the The Underground, let alone the real world. You didn’t like to venture out more than you had to, Levi didn’t either, with all the crime and violence that occurred in the dirty streets.
And of course, you couldn’t see the longing glances and silent expressions Furlan wore around you and behind Levi’s back. Everyone knew you and Levi weren’t together, but Furlan still knew he couldn’t be caught with these pining feelings for you.
Furlan couldn’t help it, really. Your kind eyes always tried to hazily study his face, always asking how he was and if you could help him with anything. He liked the way your hair reflected the lamplight, and it wasn’t long before your pretty smile started to send aches through his chest as well.
He had brought you a flower from Mitras that he had somehow got his hands on that afternoon. As soon as you caught a bleary glimpse of the bright green stem and felt the soft, velvet petals, you threw your arms around him while gushing your thanks. The next thing he knew, a blushing Furlan was pressing a quick, stolen kiss against your innocent lips. You stared at him with your own flushed cheeks in surprise, and that’s when the door swung open.
Furlan was frozen. As he stared over at a glaring Levi, he swore the black-haired boy’s eyes turned red and steam blew from his ears.
“Furlan…” Levi’s voice came slow, low, and rough. “Let’s go.”
Levi beat the shit out of Furlan in an alley a couple blocks away. You saw the bumps and bruises on Levi’s fists and Furlan’s eye when they returned later, neither making the effort to hide what happened.
And no one ever spoke of it again.
+++++++++++++++
The second time was after the annual military ball you attended with Levi.
Year after year, you were always his plus-one, and he’d help you pick out the prettiest dress and fix your hair just the way you liked it for the big night out. Levi didn’t care for these events, but you looked forward to it every year so you could spend an evening drinking and dancing away in a fancy gown, so he bit back his complaints and let you stay as late as you wanted.
It was deep into the night when Erwin asked him to meet privately about some sensitive information, which Levi reluctantly agreed to after setting the runts from the 104th up to dance and keep you company, promising to never take their eyes off you. You didn’t know about his little ploy, but was delighted to get to know them all and dance with the adorable young men either way.
While Levi was hunched over secret papers and files in Erwin’s dark office, it left an opening for an unassuming, retired Scout by the name of Carlo.
“Excuse me,” The man had tapped on Jean’s shoulder. “May I steal this young lady away from you for a dance?”
Jean’s confident demeanor, which had turned flustered from constantly stepping on your toes during your twirling, suddenly seemed surprised and awkward. So, he gave your hand to the man’s and disappeared. It was a bit uncomfortable for you at first, having a stranger’s hand on your waist as he guided you smoothly around the dance floor, too nervous to protest it all. But, you quickly learned through polite conversation that Carlo was as courteous and respectful as he was brave.
There was a moment where Carlo asked who you came with, and then backed away when he heard Levi’s name. After a rushed explanation of ‘No, we aren’t together’, his hand was back on your waist and your skirt fluttered around his legs as he spun you around. After the dance, Levi was no where to be seen and you didn’t want to admit that you had no idea how to get back to your seat… so Carlo kindly escorted you out to grab some fresh air and a break from the busy, overwhelming noises of the ballroom.
Levi’s heart dropped when he scanned the room and you were no where to be seen. The runts from the 104th had no idea where you went, so he promptly chewed them out and promised a punishment later, and went to scour the halls. He was about to let himself start panicking when he checked the front steps of the Survey Corps Headquarters, where he saw you clutching onto some bastard’s sleeve as he held his elbow out for you.
Your back was facing Levi as he stood in the shadows, allowing himself to read the situation for a moment before lashing out to scold you for disappearing. You weren’t alone with the man, a retired Scout that Levi recognized and had spoken to offhandedly a few times, but surrounded by other drunk soldiers who were smoking and chatting away on the stairs. The two of you made quiet conversation, nothing inappropriate. But, what irked Levi the most was the honeyed smile on your beautiful face and how you slightly leaned into Carlo.
He waited until the conversation lulled, then called out your name. You turned around in surprise, then let a giddy smile replace your expression as you recognized Levi’s familiar voice. He took your arm from Carlo and set off to walk you home, against your protests to stay and dance a bit longer, and while almost completely ignoring the other man.
Levi said nothing about it to you— It was over and done with. It’s not like you were truly his anyways… Until a while later when you mentioned that Carlo had accidentally stumbled into the tavern during your shift, stayed a while to chat, and walked you home. After that, Carlo started coming around the house sometimes.
Well, sometimes turned into more, and more turned into a lot… and a lot turned into all the fucking time.
Levi denied and denied it, never asking about him, and only getting details when you’ bring something up. He just about burst into fucking flames when Carlo showed up at the front door one evening with a large bouquet of your favorite flowers, asking for Levi’s permission to officially court you and take you to Mitras some extravagant, unnecessary dinner.
“I’m not her father,” Levi had responded, trying to stop his eye from twitching and relax his clenched jaw. “She can make her own decisions. I don’t care.”
Levi had to close his eyes and hold his breath the evening you came home from that dinner, gushing about stupid fucking Carlo and more stupid fucking flowers and that stupid fucking meal after he safely dropped you off. He absolutely despised how chivalrous and reverent the guy was— He couldn’t even pinpoint a single inappropriate touch or comment from him, even after all the times he had to suffer through Carlo’s visits to you.
He suffered for weeks. Levi tried to convince himself that it wouldn’t last, that Carlo would break your heart eventually over something idiotic like your lack of sight or status, and he’d get to be to one to comfort you after the heartbreak. He tried to convince himself that Carlo was just a skirt-chasing bastard trying to get under your dress, tried to convince himself that it would all go away in due time…
…But it just got worse.
Levi was beginning to lose his fucking mind. Lying restlessly awake one night as his mind toiled over you, he suddenly realized that if you and Carlo kept on like you were, a marriage proposal was absolutely imminent. It was obvious that Carlo didn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon, that the shithead was just as infatuated with you as he was himself.
Levi had a migraine for two weeks straight, his left eye twitched uncontrollably whenever he thought of either of you— The poor guy even contemplated praying to the Walls about it. He started to get desperate, a strange feeling that Levi hadn’t felt in years.
After being teased by Erwin and Hange about it one day over paperwork, Levi had suddenly had enough. He stomped out of the room, duties still undone, and rushed home. He was over the pining, the yearning, the jealousy, the constant stress.
If Levi had to finally admit his hidden feelings for you after all these years just to get the fucker to disappear, then so be it! He couldn’t take another fucking second of it, ready to wield his blades against Carlo if it came down to it— Anything to never have to see his face again.
When Levi arrived home, he found you sitting in your garden, alone on the bench as the sun disappeared over the walls. He was about to blurt it all out when he noticed the solemn look on your face as you looked on toward the sky.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Oh, Levi,” You greeted him softly, your voice not as excited as usual. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Liar.”
You shuffled uncomfortably. “It’s nothing serious…”
“What happened?” Levi couldn’t hide the small bit of panic in his voice as his mind ran through every possible situation that could have made you upset. His pulse was already racing, the anxiety and nerves making the worry about you worse.
“Well… Carlo…” You began, and Levi’s heart plummeted. “…I don’t think he’ll be coming around anymore.”
“What the hell did he do?” Levi demanded. “Tell me now. That fucker—”
“—It was my doing, Levi. Relax, okay?” He watched your mouth turn into a sheepish smile. “I just got back from dinner with him. It was great, actually it was amazing. But when he dropped me off, he… well… he finally kissed me for the first time.”
Levi’s blood quite literally started to boil and bubble from the innate rage that suddenly coursed through him.
“Don’t get me wrong, it was so romantic…” You rushed to explain. “But, it just felt… odd? I don’t know how to explain it. I didn’t feel a single thing. No butterflies at all.”
Suddenly, Levi’s heart rate was back to normal, and his rage transitioned to quick relief.
“So, I- um… yeah. I ended things with him.”
“…Are you serious?” Levi couldn’t cover the disbelief in his tone. Levi didn’t really believe in luck, but now he’s seriously considered it.
“Of course, Levi!” You scolded with a pout. “And I just feel awful about it! He probably was saving up the courage to kiss me for so long, just for me to break up with him no more than a minute afterwards. I’m terrible, just terrible. I think he’s far more torn up about it than I am, but I just couldn’t help but blurt it all out after realizing that… maybe we weren’t meant to be.”
Levi let out a breathe he had been saving, along with the string of dreaded love confessions he was just about to let tumble out. He quietly sat down on the bench beside you, letting your skin warm his side as you slowly tipped your head over to rest it on his strong shoulder.
“Levi…” You whispered, eyes brimming with tears. “Am I a bad person?”
“No,” He answered promptly, closing his eyes and slowly letting his chin come to rest on your hair. “You did the exact right thing.”
Levi hoped you took his words as a reassurance instead of a sort of… possessiveness or insecurity about the relief of the breakup. You were much smarter than that, though.
You smiled, and neither of you spoke of it again.
+++++++++++++++
The third time was long, long after.
Levi sat on the side of the room, tense hands gripping the armrests of his wheelchair, watching Onyankopon spin and throw you around the floor to the quick beat of the music with his one good eye. Your delighted shrieks and giggles filled the room while the bright red fabric of your skirt flared and fluttered in a mesmerizing blur.
He felt guilty. And alone.
Out of everyone among the crowd in the noisy bar, he was the only one who couldn’t dance with you.
Even after knowing for years how much you loved it, he never spun you around like that, and now he never will. He brought you all the way across the sea to a better, safer life in Marley, where he’d never have to leave you again.
But what was the point if he couldn’t even love and live for you the way he desired? The way you desired?
Levi was quiet for the rest of the night, anxiously picking off the labels from his beer bottles while he watched you take turns dancing with Onyankopon, Falco, and Gabi while the night wore on. It just made it worse, soured his mood further with each song, but he couldn’t stand to look away. The tipsy blush on your cheeks was impossible to ignore, same with the toothy grin that never left your face, and the adorable way you dizzily stumbled after a particularly rowdy dance.
Eventually, the others walked you home, leaving the two of you alone in the new apartment you shared along a quiet street that reminded you just enough of Paradis not to hurt. Scout was waiting by the door when you entered, greeting Levi with a quiet meow and a strong nudge against his foot.
“What’s wrong, Levi?” You asked softly. “I can tell something’s off with you.”
Levi had promised himself to be more candid since you came, refusing to hold anything back from you any longer. He still hesitated for a moment before answering you slowly, still uncomfortable with the vulnerability of it all. “I’m… jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“I can’t dance with you like that.”
Levi watched your eyes turn from curious to sympathetic in the soft light of the new, electric lamp he bought a few months ago in preparation for your immigration here. He was almost a bit embarrassed now, having to admit to something so dehumanizing yet obvious, even though he knew you would always be the most understanding.
“It’s okay, Levi. You don’t need to dance with me to make me happy.”
“I know,” He paused again. “I just wish I would’ve done it before. Back when I could.”
Both of you stopped for a minute, two minds rolling through past memories. Ones of that creaky old house, forest green cloaks, and even back to the musty, dark city under the dirt where it all began.
“Well…” You started cautiously. “We can still dance.”
Levi was about to scoff at you, tell you not to be so naive. He swallowed it as you walked over to the phonograph, gently letting your hands run over the vinyl and feel where to set the needle. It was your first and favorite purchase of your own after moving to Marley, after crying in amazement and joy when you heard the recorded music filter out of Onyankopon’s for the first time.
Quiet, lilting notes flowed from the bronze horn, a slower song you played constantly on sleepy afternoons. Levi never took his eyes away as you delicately sat yourself in his lap, making sure not to put your weight on the spots that make him ache. Your arms hooked around his neck, and your nose buried into the crook of his shoulder.
Immediately, Levi’s hands came to hold the back of your head and body, pulling you in impossibly closer as he breathed in the scent of your hair and the kneaded the plush of your waist.
Levi closed his eyes, letting his senses fill with nothing but the music and you. Your bodies started to lightly sway back and forth to the tune, subtle and calming.
He’s never felt so full before.
There was absolutely nothing more he could ask for as he held you tight, feeling the comforting warmth of your breath against his neck. He listened to you faintly hum along, his heart damn near bursting at the seams at the compassionate way you loved on him.
“We can always dance together, just like we are now,” You whispered in his ear when the song ended, another slow one starting to replace it. “Still jealous?”
Levi pressed his lips against your temple, then let out a long exhale while letting his body fully relax— A foreign feeling that he didn’t start truly experiencing until your arrival in Marley.
“No,” He answered. “Never again.”
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Boyfriends
Based around the song Boyfriends by Harry Styles
Word count: 9,985
Content warning: fighting, cursing, mentions of alcohol and a lot of angst.
A little over two years ago
The concert was electric, every beat of the music reverberating through Y/N’s chest as she moved through the press pit with her camera. She’d already taken dozens of photos—Harry under the spotlight, interacting with the crowd, lost in the music but she knew her best work came from capturing the moments no one else saw.
As the final notes of the encore rang out, she noticed the security team starting to guide photographers toward the exit. Her mind raced. She couldn’t leave yet. Not when there was a chance to get the kind of candid shots that would set her portfolio apart from the rest of her competitors.
She slung her camera strap tighter over her shoulder and approached one of the large security guards standing near the backstage entrance.
“Excuse me,” she said, her voice steady despite her pounding heart. “I know I’m supposed to head out, but I’d really love to capture some candid shots of Harry as he comes off stage. It would tell such a story.”
The guard raised an eyebrow. “Not sure that’s allowed. Press isn’t usually permitted back there. Private.”
“Please,” Y/N insisted, her tone earnest. “I promise I won’t get in the way. Just a few quick shots, and I’ll be out of there. I promise.”
The guard hesitated, studying her for a long moment before sighing. “Fine. But if anyone asks, I didn’t see you.”
“Thank you!” she said, already slipping past him toward the backstage area.
She hurried down the dimly lit hallway, her sneakers squeaking faintly on the polished floor. The muffled roar of the crowd faded behind her, replaced by the sounds of crew members breaking down equipment and distant chatter. This is what she lived for.
Just as she rounded a corner, the door to the stage swung open, and there he was towel slung over one shoulder, his face glowing with sweat and adrenaline. Y/N froze, momentarily stunned.
Harry’s eyes landed on her, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “Well, aren’t you persistent? Must’ve made a pretty convincing case to the security team.” he said, his voice warm and teasing.
Y/N blinked, her grip tightening on her camera. “I just… I wanted to get some shots of you coming off stage. It’s where the magic happens, right?”
He chuckled, running a hand through his damp curls. “Magic, huh? I don’t know about that. Mostly sweat and bad jokes back here.”
“I’ll take what I can get,” she quipped, raising her camera slightly as if to ask for permission.
Harry tilted his head, his smile softening. “Go ahead, photographer. Show me what you’ve got.”
Y/N didn’t waste another second.
A few weeks later
The small Italian restaurant was tucked into a quiet corner of New York, dimly lit with candles flickering on each table. It was the kind of place where conversations were hushed, and the aroma of garlic and fresh bread filled the air. Y/N sat across from Harry, her hands wrapped around a glass of red wine, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest as he leaned back, effortlessly relaxed.
“So,” Harry began, a faint smirk on his lips. “I have to ask, do you always beg security guards to let you backstage, or was that just a one-time thing?”
Y/N laughed, her cheeks warming. “I wasn’t begging. I was persuading. There’s a difference and hey! It worked.”
“Right,” he said, drawing out the word playfully. “Well, whatever it was I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so determined to take pictures of me covered in sweat.”
She rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed her amusement. “I was trying to capture the moment—the real you. Not the polished, on-stage version.”
Harry tilted his head, his gaze softening. “That’s what caught my attention, you know. I mean, I’ve had photographers at shows before, but you… had this fire. Like you weren’t just there for the job, you cared about it.”
Y/N’s fingers traced the stem of her wine glass as she looked at him, surprised. “You noticed all that?”
“Of course,” he said, leaning forward slightly. “You were practically sprinting down the hallway to get the shot. I remember thinking, ‘Who is this girl, and why is she running so fast?’”
She laughed, trying to play it cool. “It’s my job. I just wanted to do it well.”
Harry’s smile widened. “Well, you did. The way you didn’t hesitate to push for what you wanted. Most people don’t do that around me. I liked it.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, her confidence returning. “And what about you? Most people would’ve just walked past me, but you stopped. Why?”
He took a sip of his wine, considering her question. “Maybe I liked the challenge. You didn’t seem fazed by all the… ‘Harry Styles’ stuff. You were just yourself. It was refreshing.”
Y/N’s heart fluttered at his words, but she kept her tone light. “So, basically, you’re saying I charmed my way into your good graces?”
“Exactly,” Harry said with a grin. “And now, here we are. A photographer and her subject having pasta in a little New York restaurant. Life’s funny like that.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “You’re crazy.”
“Maybe,” he teased, his voice low. “But I’m glad you begged that security guard. Makes for a good story.”
Y/N couldn’t help but smile.
Present day
The faint sound of an alarm broke the quiet of the early morning, its persistent buzz pulling Y/N from sleep. She groaned, rolling over and burying her face into the pillow, trying to block out the noise. At the foot of the bed, her chubby orange cat, Teddy, stretched lazily, his tail flicking in mild irritation at the disturbance.
The bed shifted slightly as Harry moved beside her. She peeked one eye open to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, tugging on a pair of flare jeans. His hair was a tousled mess, and he was moving with the sluggishness of someone who hadn’t had enough coffee yet.
“Harry?” she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. “Where are you going?”
He glanced back at her, already reaching for a hoodie draped over the chair. “Studio,” he said simply, his tone casual.
Y/N sat up slightly, blinking at him in confusion. “The studio? But… we were supposed to go to the market today. Remember? We talked about it all week.”
Harry froze for a moment, his hand paused mid-reach for his phone on the nightstand. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, right. Sorry, love. Totally slipped my mind.”
She stared at him, the sting of his words sinking in. “You forgot?”
“It’s just been busy,” he said, his voice tinged with exasperation—not at her, but at himself. “You could still go, though. Pick up a few things for us?” He gave her a small smile, as if that would smooth things over.
Y/N frowned, leaning back against the headboard. “So, you want me to go alone? After we planned this together?”
“It’s not that I want you to,” he replied, clearly sensing her frustration. “I just can’t get out of the session. It’s important.”
Her chest tightened, the hurt creeping in despite her best efforts to brush it off. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Lately, the studio seemed to take priority over everything else.
“Right,” she said quietly, her tone laced with disappointment. “I’ll go. Don’t worry about it.”
Harry’s brows furrowed, and he stepped closer to her side of the bed. “Y/N, I’m not trying to upset you. I just need to get this done.”
She looked up at him, her expression guarded. “I know. I get it. You’re busy. It just… feels like you’re always too busy these days.”
His face softened, guilt flashing in his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond but seemed to think better of it, instead leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
Y/N forced a small smile, watching as he grabbed his keys and slipped out of the room, the sound of the door clicking shut echoing in the quiet.
She let out a sigh, glancing at Teddy, who had barely stirred from his spot at the foot of the bed. “Looks like it’s just you and me today, buddy.”
Teddy let out a sleepy meow, as if in agreement, and Y/N pulled the covers closer, wondering how long she could keep pretending this didn’t bother her as much as it did.
After getting dressed and going solo to the market Y/N sat on the couch in their London apartment, absently scrolling through her phone. The soft hum of the city filtered through the windows, but inside, the space felt eerily quiet. Teddy, her ever-loyal orange cat, was curled up beside her, his rhythmic purring the only sound in the room.
For weeks now, it had been the same routine. Harry would wake up early, leaving the house before she’d even fully opened her eyes, and come home late, exhaustion etched across his features. He was always kind, always apologetic in his soft-spoken way, but the words “I’m sorry, love” were beginning to feel hollow.
It wasn’t that she didn’t understand. She did. Harry was driven, passionate about his music, and that was one of the things she loved most about him. But lately, his determination felt more like a wall between them than something to admire.
She let her phone drop onto the coffee table and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. Every time she tried to bring it up—how distant he seemed, how much she missed him—she felt silly, selfish even. His work was important, and she didn’t want to be the needy girlfriend who couldn’t handle his busy schedule.
But it hurt.
It hurt to feel like she was always the second priority, to have their plans constantly pushed aside for another recording session, another photoshoot, another promotional event. It hurt to go to bed alone and wake up to an empty side of the bed, save for Teddy’s occasional company.
She ran her hands through her hair, letting out a slow breath.
Y/N didn’t need grand gestures or romantic getaways. She didn’t need a fancy dinner or expensive gifts. She just wanted Harry—the Harry who used to stay up late talking with her about anything and everything, the Harry who’d pull her into his arms for a kiss in the middle of the kitchen, the Harry who used to make her feel like the center of his world.
But now? Now it felt like she was living with a ghost of him, someone who passed through their apartment in a blur of schedules and commitments.
Teddy shifted beside her, his big green eyes blinking up at her as if sensing her mood. She scratched behind his ears, her lips tugging into a faint smile.
“I don’t know, Ted,” she said softly. “How do you tell someone you love them, but you’re starting to hate how they make you feel?”
The cat let out a small chirp in response, and she let out a half-hearted laugh.
Y/N shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away. But deep down, she knew it was only a matter of time before everything boiled over. She could only hold it in for so long. She did what any girl would do and called her best friend for a girls night.
Y/N paced back and forth in the kitchen, her phone pressed tightly to her ear. Teddy watched her from his spot on the counter, his tail flicking lazily as if he could feel the tension radiating from her.
“Addy, are you busy tonight?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice steady but failing miserably.
“Not particularly,” Addy replied, the faint clinking of dishes in the background suggesting she was doing something mundane. “Why? What’s up?”
“I need to rant,” Y/N said, letting out a heavy sigh. “Like, properly rant. Maybe cry a little. You free for a sleepover? I’ll bring wine.”
Addy didn’t hesitate. “Of course, babe. Get over here. I’ll grab the blankets and make a snack spread. You know I never say no to wine and a vent session.”
Y/N felt a small smile tug at her lips, a flicker of relief breaking through her frustration. “You’re a lifesaver, Addy. Seriously.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Addy said, her tone warm. “Now hurry up. We’ve got wine to drink and whining to do.”
Y/N laughed lightly, though her chest still felt heavy. “Be there soon.”
She hung up the call and turned to Teddy, who was now licking his paw as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Alright, buddy, you’re in charge while I’m gone,” she said, grabbing his food bowl and refilling it. Teddy let out a small meow of approval, hopping down to inspect his meal.
Y/N moved quickly, tossing a few essentials into an overnight bag: her favorite pajamas, a toothbrush, her phone charger. She grabbed the bottle of wine she’d been saving and gave Teddy one last scratch behind the ears before locking the door behind her.
The short walk to Addy’s flat was brisk and refreshing, the cold London air biting against her cheeks. She tried to let the walk clear her head, but her thoughts kept circling back to Harry, to the way things had been lately, to how exhausted she felt.
By the time she reached Addy’s building and knocked on the door, she was ready to collapse. Addy flung the door open, already in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, her face lighting up when she saw Y/N.
“There she is!” Addy exclaimed, pulling Y/N into a tight hug. “Come in, wine queen. We’ve got a couch, snacks, and a whole lot of ranting to do.”
Y/N laughed, the warmth of her best friend’s embrace melting away some of the weight she’d been carrying. “You have no idea how much I need this.”
“Trust me, I do,” Addy said, ushering her inside. “Now, start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.”
As Y/N sank into the couch, wine glass in hand and Addy by her side, she felt a flicker of hope that maybe—just maybe—she could figure this out. But for now, she was grateful to have someone who would listen without judgment. Someone who just got it.
The first glass of wine went down smoothly, maybe too smoothly. Y/N poured herself another before Addy even finished her first, and by the time they’d gotten halfway through the second bottle, the conversation had turned raw and unfiltered.
Y/N leaned back into the couch, her cheeks flushed—not just from the wine, but from the surge of emotions she’d been bottling up for weeks. She swirled the last bit of wine in her glass and sighed.
“I don’t even know why I’m so upset anymore,” she said, her voice tight. “It’s not like it’s new. Harry’s been… distant. Detached. Nonchalant, even. Like, I could’ve told him I was leaving tonight, and I swear he wouldn’t have noticed.”
Addy frowned, pulling her knees up onto the couch. “Are you serious? He didn’t even ask where you were going?”
Y/N shook her head, letting out a bitter laugh. “Nope. He probably assumed I’d just be home when he got back—like always. That’s the thing, Addy. He doesn’t notice anything anymore. It’s like I’m… invisible to him.”
Addy’s brows furrowed, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Y/N, that’s not okay. You’re not a piece of furniture. You’re his girlfriend. He should be noticing you.”
Y/N stared at her glass, her voice quieter now. “We barely even talk anymore. It’s all ‘Sorry, love, the studio ran late,’ or ‘Can you handle this for me?’ It’s like I’m his roommate, not his partner. And the worst part?” She swallowed hard, her chest tightening. “We haven’t been… close. Like, at all. No hugs, no kisses, no… sex. It’s been weeks, Addy. I don’t even know if he wants me anymore.”
Addy’s mouth fell open. “You’re joking.”
“I wish I was,” Y/N muttered, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over. “And I’ve tried, you know? I’ve dropped hints, I’ve made plans, I’ve even dressed up when he’s home just to get his attention. But it’s like he’s so caught up in everything else that I’m… I’m not even on his radar.”
Addy put her wine glass down and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “Hey, listen to me. This isn’t about you. Harry is clearly drowning in his own world, and he’s taking you for granted. That’s on him—it’s just what boys do.”
Y/N leaned her head against Addy’s shoulder, her voice breaking. “I just miss him. I miss us. The way we used to be, you know? When we’d spend hours talking, when he’d grab me and kiss me just because. I miss feeling like I mattered to him.”
Addy tightened her hold, her voice firm. “You do matter, Y/N. He’s just too wrapped up in himself to see it right now. But you deserve better than this—better than feeling like you’re waiting around for scraps of his time.”
Y/N sniffed, her tears finally spilling over. “I don’t even know how to talk to him about it without feeling like I’m nagging. What if he’s just… over it? Over me?”
Addy pulled back slightly, looking Y/N in the eyes. “If he’s over it, then he’s a bloody idiot. But you need to talk to him, Y/N. You can’t keep holding all this in. It’s going to eat you alive.”
Y/N nodded slowly, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “You’re right. I just… I’m scared, Addy. What if I say something, and it doesn’t change anything?”
“Then you’ll know where you stand,” Addy said softly. “And you can decide what’s next. But no matter what, I’ve got you. Always.”
Y/N managed a small smile, her heart aching but lighter knowing she didn’t have to face this alone. For tonight, though, she let herself sink into the comfort of her best friend and another glass of wine, the weight of her worries just a little easier to bear.
The morning light filtered through the thin curtains in Addy’s living room, waking Y/N from a restless sleep. The pull-out couch wasn’t exactly luxurious, but after the wine and emotional exhaustion from the night before, she hadn’t cared.
She rubbed her eyes and reached for her phone on the coffee table, squinting at the screen. A notification from Harry stared back at her, and her heart sank as she opened the text.
Harry:
Would’ve been nice if you told me you weren’t coming home last night.
The words were short and clipped, and Y/N could almost feel the passive-aggressive undertone seeping through. She stared at the screen for a moment, a mix of guilt and frustration bubbling up in her chest.
“Seriously?” she muttered under her breath, sitting up and running a hand through her hair.
Teddy’s bowl had been full, the apartment was clean, and it wasn’t like she had disappeared without a trace. But still, Harry managed to make her feel like she was the one in the wrong.
She typed out a response, her fingers hesitating for a moment before hitting send.
Y/N:
I stayed at Addy’s. I forgot to let you know. Sorry.
She tossed the phone onto the cushion beside her and let out a heavy sigh, leaning back against the couch. Her chest tightened with the familiar ache that had been building for weeks.
“Everything okay?” Addy’s voice came from the kitchen. She appeared moments later, a mug of coffee in hand, still in her pajamas.
Y/N looked up and gave her a weak smile. “Harry texted me. He’s annoyed I didn’t tell him I wasn’t coming home.”
Addy raised an eyebrow as she handed Y/N the coffee. “He’s annoyed? The same Harry who’s been barely speaking to you and blowing off plans left and right?”
Y/N shrugged, wrapping her hands around the warm mug. “Yeah, that Harry.”
Addy flopped onto the armchair across from her. “Honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh or scream. He has no right to guilt-trip you after how he’s been acting. He sure knows how to get under your skin.”
Y/N sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. “I don’t think he meant to guilt-trip me. It’s just… I don’t know, Addy. Everything feels so off between us. Even little things like this turn into a thing.”
“Because he’s not giving you what you need,” Addy said bluntly. “You wouldn’t feel this way if he was showing up for you. Instead, he’s putting all this effort into everything else and leaving you with scraps. It’s not fair, Y/N.”
Y/N bit her lip, staring down at the coffee in her hands. “I know it’s not fair. But I still love him, Addy. I just… don’t know how to fix this.”
Addy leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “You shouldn’t have to fix this alone, babe. He’s your partner. He should be just as invested in making things work. If he’s not, that’s on him, not you.”
Y/N nodded, but the knot in her stomach didn’t ease. She glanced at her phone again, tempted to say more, but decided against it. Instead she got herself together and said goodbye to Addy before making the short trip back to her home.
Y/N unlocked the door to her apartment, still groggy and in her pajamas, her head pounding from last night’s wine. She stepped inside and was greeted by Teddy, who meowed loudly as if scolding her for being gone.
“Morning, Teddy,” she muttered, bending down to scratch his head before kicking off her shoes.
When she looked up, she froze. Harry was sitting on the couch, legs crossed, his phone in his hand. It was rare to see him home at this hour, and for a moment, she was too surprised to say anything.
He glanced up at her, his expression unreadable. “Nice of you to finally come home,” he said, his voice calm but with a cutting edge. “I thought maybe we could’ve done something today, but you were gone and by the looks of it, hungover.”
Y/N blinked at him, her exhaustion giving way to irritation. “Are you serious right now?”
Harry leaned back into the couch, raising an eyebrow. “What? I’m just saying, it would’ve been nice to know where you were.”
Her frustration boiled over, the tension that had been building for weeks finally snapping. “Oh, you mean like all the times we made plans, and you bailed on me? Is that what you’re talking about, Harry? Because if we’re keeping track, you’ve canceled on me more times than I can count.”
Harry rolled his eyes, his tone dismissive. “Here we go again.”
“No, seriously,” Y/N said, her voice rising. “Do you have any idea how it feels to be constantly put second? To have you forget about us because you’re busy with your career? And then you have the nerve to act like I’m the one in the wrong because I stayed at Addy’s for one night?”
Harry set his phone down, looking at her with a mix of annoyance and exasperation. “I don’t have time for this right now. You’re blowing things out of proportion. I’m working hard and you’re acting selfish.”
Y/N stared at him, her mouth falling open. “Selfish? Are you fucking kidding me? I���ve been here, Harry. I picked up my life and moved here. To be with you. To be close to you. I am here waiting for you, supporting you, picking up the pieces of this relationship while you put me on the back burner. And now I’m selfish because I’m upset that you don’t seem to care anymore?”
He ran a hand through his hair, his jaw tightening. “I never said I didn’t care. But I can’t drop everything just to make you happy. I have obligations, Y/N. I thought you understood that.”
“I do understand,” she snapped, her voice trembling. “But what about your obligation to me? Or does that not matter anymore?”
The room fell silent, her words hanging in the air like a challenge. Harry looked at her, his expression softening just slightly, as if he hadn’t realized how deep the cracks had gotten.
Y/N swallowed hard, her voice quieter now. “I’m not asking you to drop everything, Harry. I’m asking you to show me that I matter to you. That we matter, even if it’s only for a few hours.”
Harry opened his mouth to respond but hesitated, the weight of her words settling over him. For the first time in weeks, he didn’t have a quick answer, and that silence spoke louder than anything he could’ve said.
With that, she turned and walked toward the bedroom, leaving Harry sitting on the couch.
Y/N scooped Teddy up on her way to the bedroom, the orange fluffball letting out a small chirp of protest before settling into her arms. She pressed her face into his fur, taking comfort in his warmth as she turned back to look at Harry, still sitting on the couch.
“Well,” she said bitterly, her voice carrying just enough to make her point, “at least Teddy will spend time with me.”
Harry didn’t respond, his face unreadable as she turned away and headed down the hallway. She pushed open the bedroom door, setting Teddy down gently on the bed. He immediately curled up in his usual spot, his tail flicking as Y/N climbed in beside him.
Pulling the blankets around her, she stared up at the ceiling, her thoughts swirling. The fight had drained her, but her mind wouldn’t stop replaying everything—Harry’s dismissive tone, the way he had rolled his eyes at her, the frustration and sadness that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her chest.
She closed her eyes, willing herself to think of something better, something good. Slowly, her thoughts drifted to the earlier days of their relationship, when everything felt effortless and magical.
Like the time Harry had surprised her with a trip to Disneyland Paris.
She smiled faintly at the memory, her heart aching with nostalgia. It had been just over a year into their relationship, and she’d mentioned in passing one night how she’d always dreamed of going but never had the chance. She hadn’t thought much of it—just another drowsy late-night conversation between them—but Harry had clearly been paying attention.
He’d woken her up early one morning, a mischievous grin on his face. “Pack a bag,” he’d said, barely able to contain his excitement. “We’re going on an adventure.”
She’d laughed, confused but thrilled as he refused to give her any details. It wasn’t until they were at the airport, with two tickets to Paris in his hand, that she realized what he had planned.
“You didn’t,” she had whispered, staring at him in disbelief.
“I did,” he’d replied, his grin widening. “What’s the point of dreaming if you don’t make it happen?”
The trip had been everything she’d hoped for and more. They’d spent the days running from ride to ride, indulging in too many churros, and taking pictures in front of the castle. He’d bought her a pair of Minnie Mouse ears, which she’d worn the entire time despite teasing him for wearing his matching Mickey ears.
And at night, under the glow of the fireworks, he’d wrapped his arms around her and kissed her like they were the only two people in the world.
It was one of the most thoughtful, romantic things anyone had ever done for her, and it had cemented her belief that Harry was someone special—someone who truly saw her.
Now, lying in bed, those memories felt like they belonged to a different time, a different version of them. She glanced down at Teddy, who had dozed off at her side, his soft purring filling the silence.
“How did we get here, Ted?” she whispered, her voice breaking.
Teddy didn’t respond, of course, but his presence was steady, a small comfort in the midst of her swirling emotions.
She rolled onto her side, clutching a pillow to her chest as tears silently slipped down her cheeks. She missed the Harry from those days—the one who surprised her with trips, who laughed with her over burnt pancakes, who made her feel like the center of his world.
Y/N stirred slightly when she heard the quiet creak of the bedroom door opening. She kept her eyes closed, her breathing steady, even as she felt the bed shift under Harry’s weight. He laid down beside her, the mattress dipping slightly as he settled in.
The faint scent of alcohol hit her almost immediately, making her chest tighten. Her eyes opened just a fraction, though she remained on her side, facing away from him. Had he been drinking?
Her heart sank further. Of course, he had every right to do what he wanted—he was an adult, after all. And after the way she’d walked home hungover this morning, she didn’t exactly have the moral high ground to say anything about it.
But still.
The thought of him out, drinking alone or with people who weren’t her, only deepened the ache that had been gnawing at her all day. It wasn’t about the drinking itself—it was about the growing distance between them, the choices they both seemed to be making that pushed them further apart.
She lay there in silence, staring at the faint shadows dancing across the wall. Part of her wanted to roll over, to ask him where he’d been or why he smelled like tequila. But another part of her—the tired, frustrated, heartbroken part—couldn’t muster the energy for another confrontation.
Instead, she stayed still, her hand resting gently on Teddy’s fur as he purred softly in his sleep. She could feel Harry’s presence beside her, close enough to touch, yet it felt like there was an ocean between them.
After a moment, she heard him exhale deeply, the bed shifting slightly as he adjusted his position. She wondered if he was awake, if he was thinking about the fight they’d had earlier, if he even realized how much she missed him.
But no words came. The silence stretched between them, heavy and unyielding.
The next morning, Y/N forced herself out of bed despite the heaviness that still lingered from the night before. Teddy trailed behind her as she shuffled around the apartment, gathering her gear for the day’s photo shoots. She threw on a comfortable outfit, pulled her hair into a loose bun, and grabbed her camera bag, trying to shake off the lingering ache in her chest.
Photography had always been her escape. It didn’t matter if she was capturing sweaty concerts or snapping portraits of families; behind the lens, she felt purposeful. Grounded.
The day passed quickly as she moved between locations, her subjects ranging from a young couple celebrating an anniversary to a family of five with a rambunctious toddler. She smiled, laughed, and gave her all to each session, momentarily forgetting the tension waiting for her at home.
When the shoots were done, she wandered the streets of London, her camera still slung over her shoulder. The city was alive with people, the winter air crisp as she strolled past cafés and flower shops. She pretended to savor her independence, stopping to snap a few shots of the bustling streets, but the nagging loneliness in her chest was impossible to ignore.
By the time she returned home, the sun had set, and the apartment was dark and quiet. She dropped her bag by the door, kicking off her shoes as Teddy padded over to greet her.
“Hey, buddy,” she murmured, scooping him up for a quick cuddle. The silence in the apartment felt heavier than usual, and she sighed as she put him down and reached for her phone.
She typed out a quick text to Harry:
Y/N:
Hey, are you going to be home for dinner? I was thinking of ordering Chinese.
She stared at the screen for a moment, willing the typing bubble to appear. But it didn’t. After a few minutes, she gave up and placed the order anyway, opting for her usual dishes.
By the time the food arrived, Harry still hadn’t responded. She ate quietly at the table, Teddy perched on a nearby chair, his curious gaze following every bite.
It wasn’t until later that night that she heard the front door open. Harry walked in, his jacket slung over one arm and his keys jangling in his hand. She turned to look at him from the couch, immediately catching the faint scent of alcohol.
“Hey,” she said softly, trying to keep her voice even. “I texted you earlier. I was going to order Chinese. Thought maybe we could eat together.”
Harry glanced at her, his expression neutral. “I was with the band,” he said, his tone casual as he set his keys on the counter.
Her chest tightened. “I would’ve liked to come out with you,” she said, standing up and crossing her arms. “It’s been ages since we’ve done something together, Harry.”
He looked at her, an edge of defensiveness in his eyes. “It wasn’t a big deal, Y/N. Just me and the guys. You wouldn’t have wanted to sit around and listen to us talk about music all night.”
Her frustration bubbled to the surface. “You don’t know that! You didn’t even ask. I would’ve loved to just… be there with you. Spend time with you.”
Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I’m trying to exclude you. I just—”
“You just don’t think about me anymore,” she interrupted, her voice quieter now but no less hurt. “Do you even realize how lonely it’s been, Harry? You come home late, you barely talk to me, and now you’re out drinking with the band while I’m here eating takeout by myself.”
He stared at her, his jaw tightening. “I’m doing the best I can, Y/N. You think this is easy for me?”
“No, Harry, I don’t think it’s easy,” she shot back. “But it’s not supposed to be just you. It’s supposed to be us. And lately, it feels like I’m the only one trying to hold onto that.”
The silence that followed was deafening. He looked away, his lips pressed into a thin line, and she felt the familiar ache in her chest grow heavier.
Without another word, she turned and headed toward the bedroom as she had been night after night, and of course with Teddy trailing behind her.
Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands, trying to steady the rush of emotions building inside her. Teddy rubbed against her legs, offering silent comfort, but her chest still felt impossibly heavy. She heard Harry’s footsteps approaching and tensed, unsure if she had the energy for yet another argument.
When the door opened, she glanced up to see him standing in the doorway, his hand gripping the frame. For a moment, she thought he might apologize—finally acknowledge the hurt he’d been causing her.
But instead, his tone was sharp. “You’re always making this about you, Y/N. Do you ever stop to think about the pressure I’m under? Or is it just easier to sit here and point fingers or bitch at me?”
Her jaw dropped, the sting of his words hitting harder than she expected. “Are you serious right now?” she asked, her voice trembling with both anger and disbelief. “Did you come in here just to insult me?”
Harry’s expression shifted, the fire in his eyes dimming as her words seemed to sink in. His shoulders slumped slightly, and he ran a hand through his hair. “No,” he said quietly, his voice faltering. “That’s not… I didn’t mean it like that.”
“But you said it,” she replied, her tone cold as she stood and faced him. “If you’re under so much pressure, why don’t you talk to me about it instead of shutting me out and turning to alcohol? Why am I the one who has to sit here, waiting, wondering if you even care anymore?”
Harry looked at her, guilt flashing across his face, but he didn’t have an answer. His silence spoke volumes.
Y/N nodded slowly, her mind made up in that moment. She couldn’t keep living like this, caught in the limbo of his neglect and her own heartache. “You know what? I think I need some space. I think weneed some space.”
His brows furrowed, his lips parting as if to argue, but she cut him off.
“I’m going to fly home and spend some time with my family,” she said, her voice steady despite the ache in her chest. “You need to figure out what you really want, Harry. Because this—” she gestured between them—“this isn’t working. And it’s not just on me to fix it.”
Harry hesitated, his expression torn. “You don’t have to—”
“No,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “I do. And you need to do some real soul searching while I’m gone. Drinking in secret, shutting me out… that’s not going to help you or our failing relationship. You can’t keep running from whatever it is that’s eating away at you.”
He didn’t protest, didn’t argue. Instead, he simply nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor.
The lack of resistance stung more than she cared to admit, but it also solidified her decision. If he wasn’t willing to fight for them, she couldn’t keep fighting alone.
Y/N took a deep breath, stepping past him and grabbing her suitcase from the closet. As she started packing, she felt a strange mix of sadness and relief.
The next morning, Y/N woke up with a knot in her stomach. The decision she had made the night before still felt right, but that didn’t make it any easier. She moved through the motions quietly, packing her suitcase and making sure Teddy had enough room in his carrier. The orange fluffball meowed pitifully as she zipped him inside, his big eyes watching her with a mix of curiosity and confusion.
“I know, buddy,” she said softly, rubbing a hand over the top of the carrier. “We need this. Trust me.”
The cab ride to the airport was quiet, the city slipping past in a blur. She avoided looking at her phone, unwilling to see if Harry had texted or called. She doubted he had.
Hours later, she landed in upstate New York, the cold January air biting at her as she stepped outside the small airport. Her cousin Mia was already there, leaning against her car, arms crossed and a scarf wrapped snugly around her neck.
As soon as Y/N walked over, dragging her suitcase and holding Teddy’s carrier, Mia’s sharp gaze zeroed in on her. “Okay, spill. What the fuck happened? And why did you just up and leave your international pop star boyfriend?”
Y/N sighed, her breath fogging in the icy air as she loaded Teddy into the backseat. “Can we maybe not do this in the parking lot?”
“Nope.” Mia slammed the trunk shut after tossing in Y/N’s suitcase and leaned against the car door, refusing to budge. “You flew across the Atlantic with your cat. That screams big drama, and I need the tea, like, yesterday.”
Y/N groaned, running a hand through her hair as she leaned against the car next to Mia. “It’s complicated, okay?”
“It always is,” Mia replied, her tone both sarcastic and supportive. “But I’m gonna need more than that. Did he cheat? Is he secretly married? What’s the deal?”
Y/N shot her a glare. “No, nothing like that. He’s just… he’s been distant. Forgetting plans, working all the time, barely talking to me. It’s like I don’t even exist to him anymore.”
Mia tilted her head, studying her cousin. “Okay, so he’s an idiot. Got it. But why leave? Why not just, I don’t know, call him out on his bullshit?”
“I did,” Y/N said, her voice cracking slightly. “I tried, Mia. I tried so many times. And last night, he…” She paused, swallowing hard. “He came home smelling like alcohol again, and when I told him I would’ve liked to go out with him, he said it wasn’t a big deal, like I didn’t matter. And then he had the nerve to call me selfish when I got upset.”
Mia’s jaw dropped, and she raised a hand. “Oh, hell no. He did not.”
Y/N nodded, her chest tightening as the memory of the fight replayed in her mind. “So, I told him I needed space. That I was coming home for a bit, and he needed to figure out what he wants. And he just… let me go.”
Mia let out a long whistle, shaking her head. “Okay, first of all, good for you for leaving. Second of all, what an absolute dumbass. Like, I’m sure he’s charming and hot and whatever, but damn, girl, he doesn’t deserve you acting like this.”
Y/N let out a small laugh despite herself. “You don’t even know him.”
“I don’t need to know him,” Mia said with a shrug. “I know you. And if he’s making you feel like shit, then he’s not doing his job as your boyfriend.”
Y/N nodded, her heart feeling a little lighter for the first time in days. “Thanks, Mia.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” Mia said, opening the car door. “We’re gonna fix this. Either he pulls his head out of his ass, or we find you a hot new boyfriend who actually knows how to treat you right. Deal?”
Y/N smiled, climbing into the passenger seat. “Deal.”
As Mia started the car and pulled out of the lot, Y/N leaned back in her seat, gazing out at the snowy landscape. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was exactly where she needed to be.
Over the next few weeks, Y/N poured herself into rediscovering the things she loved, the parts of herself that had been lost in the haze of her strained relationship. She spent her days hiking the trails of upstate New York, taking in the crisp air and breathtaking views, her camera always in tow. At night, she indulged in greasy slices of pizza from her favorite childhood spot, the simple comfort of it reminding her of easier times.
She found herself smiling more, laughing louder, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she was living for herself again. The weight that had pressed on her chest back in London had begun to lift, replaced with a growing sense of independence and self-assurance.
One night, Mia announced that it was time for a proper girls’ night out. “You’ve been hiking and taking artsy photos long enough,” Mia teased, rummaging through Y/N’s suitcase. “We’re hitting the clubs tonight. You, me, and some dangerously overpriced cocktails.”
Y/N laughed, watching as Mia held up a dress she hadn’t worn in months. “I don’t know, Mia. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of scene again.”
Mia rolled her eyes, tossing the dress at her. “Nonsense. You need this. Trust me.”
Hours later, Y/N found herself in a crowded club, the bass thumping so hard she could feel it in her chest. She’d forgotten how freeing it felt to just let go, to dance without a care in the world, the swirl of neon lights and the buzz of tequila making everything feel lighter.
Mia kept her entertained with her usual wit, sharing hilarious, sometimes borderline chaotic stories about her own life. Y/N laughed until her sides hurt, her worries melting away with every sip of her drink.
“Okay, okay,” Mia said, holding up her hands as they stood by the bar for a breather. “You remember that guy I told you about—the one with the weird obsession with his bonsai trees?”
Y/N snorted into her drink. “How could I forget?”
“Well,” Mia continued, leaning in conspiratorially, “turns out he didn’t just have bonsai trees. He had dollhouses. Like, full-on, hand-painted dollhouses. I walked into his apartment, and it was like stepping into a miniaturized version of my nightmare.”
Y/N burst out laughing, nearly spilling her drink. “You’re kidding!”
“I wish I was,” Mia said with a dramatic sigh. “Anyway, that’s why I’ve sworn off dating guys who call themselves ‘artists.’”
The two of them dissolved into laughter, the kind of deep, genuine laughter that made Y/N’s cheeks ache. She hadn’t felt this carefree in months.
As the night went on, Y/N found herself dancing again, her body moving instinctively to the rhythm of the music. She felt alive, untethered, and—for the first time in a long time—free.
Mia nudged her at one point, grinning mischievously. “See? I told you this was a good idea.”
Y/N nodded, her smile wide as she looked around the room. “Yeah. You were right. I needed this.”
And in that moment, as she twirled on the dance floor with her best friend cousin by her side, she realized that she was falling in love again—not with someone else, but with herself.
The morning light streamed through the windows as Y/N stood over the stove, flipping bacon while Mia chopped fruit at the counter. The apartment smelled of coffee and breakfast, the comforting sounds of sizzling and light chatter filling the space.
A sudden knock at the door broke the rhythm.
Both girls froze, glancing at each other. “You expecting anyone?” Y/N asked, eyebrows raised.
“Nope,” Mia replied, setting the knife down. “Probably Amazon or maybe bonsai guy finally returning to plead his case.” She smirked and tossed the dish towel over her shoulder.
“Go see who it is,” Y/N said, flipping the bacon. “And hurry back before this burns.”
“On it.” Mia walked to the door, muttering about early-morning interruptions as she swung it open.
She froze, her hand gripping the door, her mouth falling open. “Holy fuck,” she said, her voice loud and full of shock.
“What?” Y/N called, turning away from the stove, confused by Mia’s tone. “Who is it?”
When Mia didn’t answer, Y/N wiped her hands on her pajama pants and walked toward the door. Her heart started to race, a strange tension settling in her chest.
As she reached the entryway, she saw him.
Harry.
He stood there in the hallway, looking slightly disheveled, his hair messy, his coat hanging open. His expression was a mix of determination and something softer, something that made Y/N’s breath catch in her throat.
Their eyes met, and for a long moment, the world seemed to stop.
“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice carrying the weight of everything left unsaid.
She froze, her hands still at her sides, her mind racing as she tried to process the fact that he was here—standing on the doorstep of Mia’s apartment in upstate New York.
From the kitchen, Mia called out, “Do I keep the bacon going, or are we about to have a soap opera moment?”
But Y/N didn’t respond. Her eyes stayed locked on Harry, her chest tightening as she waited for him to say something more.
Y/N’s shock quickly gave way to a mix of confusion and irritation as she stared at Harry, standing there like he belonged on her cousin’s doorstep in the middle of upstate New York. Her arms crossed instinctively, and she narrowed her eyes.
“What are you doing here, Harry?” she asked, her tone sharper than she intended. “How did you even find me?”
He shifted on his feet, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat. “You still had your location on,” he said simply, his voice calm. Y/n felt a little dumb for not realizing she forgot to turn that off. Even then, he had connections and could’ve easily found out where she was.
Y/N’s jaw dropped, her confusion boiling with frustration. “You tracked me?”
“You didn’t answer my calls or texts and your phone went straight to voicemail,” he replied, his voice soft but steady. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
Her heart pounded in her chest, anger bubbling up. “If you’re here to try and convince me to come home. I’m not going back.”
“I’m not asking you to come home,” he said quietly, meeting her gaze. “I just want to talk. That’s all.”
She stared at him, searching his face for any sign of an ulterior motive, her mind racing. Before she could respond, Mia’s voice cut through the tense silence.
“Y/N, for the love of God, if you’re going to yell at him, do it outside,” Mia called from the kitchen, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “I have neighbors, and I don’t want them thinking we’re hosting some kind of reality TV reunion in here.”
Y/N clenched her jaw, letting out a frustrated breath as she glanced back at Mia, who was leaning against the counter, arms crossed with an amused expression.
“Fine,” Y/N muttered, turning back to Harry. She grabbed her coat from the hook by the door and stepped outside, letting the door click shut behind her. The cold air bit at her cheeks, but she barely noticed as she faced Harry again.
The cold morning air hung around them as they walked down the quiet, woodsy street, the crunch of gravel under their shoes the only sound at first. Y/N kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her jaw clenched as she waited for Harry to speak. He walked beside her, his hands shoved into his coat pockets, his head slightly bowed.
Finally, after a few minutes, he broke the silence. “I royally fucked up,” he said, his voice low but steady. “I took you for granted, Y/N. I thought… I thought you’d always be there, no matter how much I messed up, no matter how distant I got. And that was wrong.”
His words lingered in the crisp air, but Y/N didn’t respond. She kept her eyes ahead, her steps brisk and determined.
When he didn’t say more, she stopped abruptly and turned to him, her voice sharp with frustration and hurt. “You’re right it was wrong, Harry. Do you even realize how much you’ve hurt me? How lonely I’ve felt these past few months?”
Harry stopped too, his gaze dropping to the ground.
Y/N took a deep breath, her words spilling out in a torrent. “You’ve been more intimate with the studio than you’ve been with me. Do you know how humiliating it is to feel like you’re competing with someone’s job? To watch you pour your passion into everything else?”
His shoulders tensed, but he didn’t interrupt.
“And the worst part,” she continued, her voice breaking, “is that I thought… I thought we were heading toward something real, Harry. I thought maybe you’d propose soon, that we’d start building a life together or a family. But now? Now it feels like we’re just heading for a breakup.”
Her words hung heavy between them, the raw honesty of her pain hitting like a punch to the gut. Harry finally looked up, his expression anguished, but he still didn’t speak.
“You didn’t even fight for me when I left,” Y/N said, her voice quieter now but no less hurt. “You just let me go, like it didn’t matter. Like I didn’t matter.”
“I—” he started, but she held up a hand.
“No. Don’t say anything yet. Just… listen.”
He nodded silently, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard.
“I love you,” she said, her voice trembling. “But I can’t keep doing this if you’re not going to meet me halfway. And if you can’t give me that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”
The words came out heavier than she expected, the weight of them settling in her chest as she stared at him. For the first time since they’d started walking, Harry’s eyes locked on hers, a mix of guilt and something else—something she couldn’t quite place—flickering in his gaze.
But he didn’t interrupt. He just stood there, listening, the gravity of her words sinking in. And for once, Y/N felt like he truly heard her.
Harry shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his hands still buried deep in his coat pockets. He looked at her, his jaw tightening for a moment before he let out a long breath.
“I don’t really know what to say,” he admitted quietly, his voice heavy with guilt. “Except that I’m sorry. For all of it.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes slightly, her arms still crossed as she waited for more. She wasn’t ready to let him off the hook so easily.
He looked away, running a hand through his hair. “I��ve been… I’ve been a bloody idiot, Y/N. I didn’t realize how much I was messing this up until you left. And even then, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I’d already lost you.”
Her chest tightened, but she didn’t speak. She wanted him to get it all out.
“So, I—” He hesitated, his cheeks reddening slightly as he looked back at her. “I talked to my mum.”
Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “You talked to your mum about us?”
“Yeah,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t know who else to go to. She called me clueless—which, fair enough—but she also gave me some advice.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, her lips twitching despite her frustration. “Oh, yeah? What’d she say?”
Harry’s gaze softened, his voice dropping. “She told me to stop thinking about what’s easy for me and start thinking about what’s right for us. She said if I couldn’t figure out how to show you how much you mean to me, then I don’t deserve to have you in my life.”
Y/N stared at him, her heart twisting at the honesty in his voice.
“She also told me I’m a terrible communicator,” he added with a faint, self-deprecating smile. “And that I’ve probably made you feel like shit more than once without even realizing it.”
“Well, she’s not wrong,” Y/N said, her voice tinged with both irritation and something softer.
Harry nodded, his expression serious again. “I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, Y/N. I know I’ve got a lot to make up for. But I’m here because I don’t want to lose you. I want to be better—for you, for us. I just… I need a chance to prove it.”
She stood there, the cold air biting at her cheeks as she searched his face. There was something different about him now, something that felt raw and unguarded. She wasn’t sure if it was enough, but for the first time in weeks, she felt like he was truly seeing her.
She didn’t reply right away, letting his words hang in the air as she turned them over in her mind. Finally, she sighed and looked down at the ground. “You’ve got a lot to prove, Harry. And I’m not going to make it easy for you.”
His lips curved into the faintest smile. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair as the tension in her shoulders began to ease. She looked at Harry, his eyes still searching hers with an intensity that made her heart twist. Despite everything, despite the hurt and frustration, she couldn’t deny how much she missed him.
“I really missed you,” she admitted softly, her voice trembling just enough to make him lean closer. “Even when I was mad at you—even when I thought I couldn’t stand the sight of you—all I wanted to do was just… jump on you and kiss you. Hug you.”
Harry’s lips parted slightly, a flicker of surprise and relief washing over his face. “You mean that?”
“Of course, I do,” she said, a small, rueful smile tugging at her lips. “I love you, Harry. That’s why this hurt so much. You’ve always been my person, and for a while there, I didn’t feel like yours anymore.”
His face softened, and he took a tentative step closer, his voice low. “You are, Y/N. You’ll always be my person. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t.”
The sincerity in his voice melted the last of her defenses, and she let out a shaky laugh, wiping at her eyes. “You’re so lucky I love you. But you better believe I’m going to make you work for it.”
“I’m ready,” Harry said with a soft smile.
Y/N tilted her head, her smile widening as a thought crossed her mind. “You know, I’m a little embarrassed now.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”
“Because,” she said, letting out a laugh, “I have to go back inside and tell Mia that we made up. And trust me, she was rooting for full-blown drama. She’s probably already drafting a speech about why I should dump you.”
Harry chuckled, his first genuine laugh of the morning. “Think she’ll let me stay for breakfast, or is that asking too much?”
Y/N smirked, shaking her head. “Don’t push your luck. But if you charm her enough, she might give you a piece of bacon.”
“Well, I’m pretty good at charming people,” he teased, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her.
Y/N rolled her eyes but leaned into him, finally letting herself relax in his embrace. She rested her head against his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, and for the first time in weeks, she felt like things might actually be okay.
“Come on,” she said after a moment, pulling back slightly. “Let’s go face the dragon.”
Harry grinned, threading his fingers through hers. “Lead the way.”
As they approached the house, Y/N noticed a familiar figure standing in the window. Mia was leaning against the sill, a mug of coffee in her hands, her face a mix of amusement and curiosity as she stared out at them.
“Looks like she’s already got commentary locked and loaded,” Y/N muttered, glancing at Harry with a smirk.
“Should I be scared?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Always,” Y/N replied with a grin.
When they stepped onto the porch, Mia was already opening the door, one hand still clutching her coffee. She looked them over, her eyes flicking between Y/N’s flushed face and Harry’s sheepish expression.
“So,” Mia began, drawing out the word with a smirk. “I’m guessing you two worked it out, considering the lack of yelling and door slamming.”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “Yeah, we talked. You’re not getting the drama you were hoping for.”
Mia shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. “Honestly? I’m kind of happy. As much as I love you, Y/N, I also really love walking around my house in my underwear. Having you here has seriously cramped my vibe.”
Harry stifled a laugh as Y/N gawked at her cousin. “Oh, my God, Mia!”
“What?” Mia said, grinning as she stepped aside to let them in. “I’m just saying, you two reconciling works out for everyone. Love wins, and I get my space back. It’s a win-win.”
Y/N shook her head, laughing as she stepped into the house with Harry following behind. “You’re impossible.”
“That’s why you love me,” Mia said with a wink, heading back to the kitchen. “Now, who’s hungry? And Harry, if you’re sticking around, you better pull your weight. Bacon doesn’t flip itself, pop star.”
Y/N glanced at Harry, who was clearly trying not to laugh as he hung up his coat. “Welcome to the family,” she said with a grin.
“Thanks,” Harry replied, leaning closer to whisper, “I think I’m more scared of Mia than I was of losing you.”
Y/N smacked his arm playfully, but the smile on her face lingered as they followed Mia to the kitchen.
#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles masterlist#harry styles smut#one direction#harry styles x reader#harry styles one shot#otra tour#harry edward styles#hs live#love on tour#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles one direction#harrystyles#hs4#hs#harry#harrystylesfanfic#harry styles writing#harry styles imagine#harry styles mature
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mercury notes. 💅🏻
Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.



masterlist🍡
mercury signs and their characteristics 🍭
🫧 aries mercury
You're blunt and direct because you deeply care about your loved ones and want what's best for them, even if it initially hurts. You're a reliable friend who values mental stimulation over constant chatter. You're quick-witted and passionate, often diving into new interests headfirst, even if you haven't mastered them yet. Challenges excite you, and you prefer things that make you think hard. You can get obsessed until you figure something out, and once you do, you stick with it. However, you might get competitive or jealous when others are better at something you're passionate about. Plus, all that thinking can give you headaches. But ultimately, your bluntness stems from a place of caring, and your loyalty and agility of mind make you a valuable friend.
🫧 taurus mercury
Your laidback nature stems from your focus on what truly matters to you. You're guarded because you've learned to prioritize your goals and rely only on yourself, leading to a preference for a small, trustworthy circle. While emotional, your rationality guides you to offer practical advice sought by many. When you love, you do so intensely, either fully invested or not at all, which can leave you drained in communication and occasionally introverted, causing concern among others. You're honest and direct, with an appreciation for the beauty of words, possibly drawn to poetry. In youth, you might have easily developed crushes and possess a melodious voice, possibly skilled in singing. With Taurus Mercury, your communication style is stable and methodical, marked by a reserved demeanor and a tendency to carefully analyze your thoughts and opinions. While you may appear stubborn, others view you as thoughtful and reliable due to your grounded approach to communication.
🫧 gemini mercury
With your mind always buzzing, you might need to work on organizing to avoid getting overwhelmed easily. You're a sponge for information, possibly even having some psychic intuition. Your ability to grasp concepts quickly lets you talk your way through things effortlessly, even if you haven't fully digested them. People trust whatever you say, even if it's random, thanks to your charm. Your hunger for knowledge keeps you everywhere, possibly juggling multiple social media accounts or interests, making you intriguing yet hard to pin down. From a young age, you displayed advanced intellect, impressing others with your wisdom beyond years. However, your thirst for new knowledge can lead to forgetting old ones, making exams a struggle unless you study hard. Despite this, you're generous and respectful, always open to communication, which earns you many acquaintances but perhaps few deep emotional bonds, leaving you somewhat detached. You're expressive, likely talking with your hands and body to drive your point home. With a Gemini Mercury, you're curious and talkative, overflowing with ideas and a penchant for witty, sarcastic communication. You enjoy delving into topics deeply and playfully, often expressing yourself through clever wordplay and puns.
🫧 cancer mercury
Cancer Mercuries are often misunderstood due to the crybaby stereotype, but they're much more than that. They have a knack for sensing emotions, especially in their loved ones, and their words carry a depth that reflects their own experiences and wounds. They have a remarkable memory for emotional moments, often recalling cringey or painful events vividly while forgetting trivial details easily. These folks lean towards introversion and need plenty of alone time to recharge, thriving best among their loved ones. Clear communication is crucial with them as they can sense insincerity. Despite their emotional nature, they keep their feelings guarded and may use self-deprecating humor to deflect. Once they trust you, though, they're fiercely loyal and offer comfort and support with their words. With a Cancer Mercury, communication is deeply compassionate and intuitive, rooted in empathy and a desire to nurture and support others. They express themselves poetically and creatively, understanding others' pain and offering unwavering support.
🫧 leo mercury
Individuals with Leo Mercury express their love and affection through communication, showing warmth and making others feel like instant best friends. They can get obsessive about their interests and crushes, giving them intense focus. In learning environments, they need joy and fun to stay engaged. They value actions over words, so if you claim to love them, you better show it. Their charming communication style attracts attention, but they must be mindful of what they say as people tend to magnify their words. They're prone to checking up on loved ones frequently, regardless of how much time has passed, as attention is their love language. However, a downside is their reluctance to consider others' viewpoints, often believing they're always right. With Leo Mercury, communication is energetic, confident, and direct, with a charismatic and engaging flair. They enjoy being the center of attention and aren't afraid to assert themselves, making them natural leaders in communication.
🫧 virgo mercury
Virgo Mercuries are like the champions of communication, always making sure their words are well put together and hard to argue against, reminiscent of those kids who constantly won spelling bees. They're high achievers from a young age, constantly seeking logic and truth in everything, which can lead them to get lost in details and feel overwhelmed. Even in chaos, they handle things maturely with logic, earning them the reputation of wise advisors. However, their attention to detail can lead to overthinking, as they scrutinize even the smallest actions and texts, making it hard to deceive them. Suspicious by nature, they'll do thorough research, even stalking if needed, to uncover the truth. They should trust themselves more and boost their self-confidence to overcome intrusive thoughts. With a Virgo Mercury, communication is analytical and critical, driven by a desire for perfection and precision. They analyze everything before speaking, taking a methodical and logical approach that can sometimes lead to overthinking. Patience and self-discipline are key for them to manage their overactive minds effectively.
🫧 libra mercury
Libra Mercuries thrive on peace and harmony in their daily lives, feeling unsettled when things are out of order. While they're adept at seeing both sides of a story, they can get lost in trying to maintain balance. However, they've learned it's okay to embrace chaos occasionally, especially since they easily get bored. Despite their indecisive nature, they possess objective intelligence, making them skilled at solving problems from different perspectives, which suits careers in law or similar fields. Yet, their desire for justice can lead to complicated situations due to their reluctance to choose sides. This indecision may strain friendships, although they can also be seen as loyal and reliable if positively manifested. They have a thirst for knowledge and are drawn to what stimulates their minds, enjoying romance books or shows and even finding amusement in chaotic situations, despite not being naturally chaotic themselves. A positively manifested Libra Mercury is a great friend to have, always supportive and having your back. In communication, they're charming and balanced, adept at friendly and diplomatic interactions. They enjoy engaging with others, keeping conversations light and positive, and prefer to avoid confrontation or conflict, prioritizing harmony and balance in their relationships.
🫧 scorpio mercury
Scorpio Mercuries are enigmatic and hard to decipher. They're private and move in silence, carefully displaying only what they want others to see to avoid suspicion. With high emotional intelligence and intense intuition, they can easily fall into destructive thought patterns, including intrusive or sexual thoughts, and fear being exposed. Despite their suspicion of others' intentions, they strive to maintain a high vibrational image. In love, they're fiercely loyal and keep secrets close, but they can be ruthless if wronged. They delve deeply into thoughts, even overanalyzing simple problems and pondering existential questions. Their intuition often reveals truths they'd rather not know, making hiding things from them futile. Obsessed with what stimulates them, they can become stubborn and refuse to let go of harmful things. They find meaning in everything, holding onto items or information they believe will be useful. While loyal, they keep themselves guarded, trusting only themselves. Others may find them intimidating or blunt, and they enjoy playing with power due to their ability to easily gain trust. A Scorpio Mercury communicates sensitively and perceptively, reading into hidden meanings and subtext. They tend to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves, balancing expression with restraint. They possess strong intuition and mental energy but may struggle with overthinking.
🫧 sagittarius mercury
Individuals with Sagittarius Mercury are warm and nonjudgmental, making others feel at home and giving them the best time of their lives. They're open-minded and objective, often surprising people with their vast knowledge and random facts, although they may feel insecure about their intelligence. They tend to see the best in everyone and can easily be taken advantage of due to their desire to do the right thing. They're great listeners and offer wise, unbiased advice, drawing people to them for venting sessions. Growing up, they were likely interested in solving larger problems, but they can get stressed easily and lost in knowledge and details. They're open to new experiences and friends but are put off by judgmental or arrogant people. They have a playful sense of humor and enjoy sharing random facts with friends, but they don't like being told what to do and can be unreliable if they're not truly interested in something. Their attention span is short, making it difficult to focus, and meditation may be challenging due to their constantly active minds. With Sagittarius Mercury, communication is playful and positive, marked by quick wit, humor, and a talent for uplifting conversations. They bring a bright and lively energy to any interaction, making people laugh and bringing joy to any situation.
🫧 capricorn mercury
Capricorn Mercuries are reserved and only share what's necessary, commanding respect with their directness, which can sometimes be mistaken for rudeness. They avoid drama and focus on their own pursuits, maintaining a private and reserved demeanor. Their knowledge comes from life experiences and karma, often shaped by past struggles and moments of loneliness. While typically kind, they have clear boundaries and won't hesitate to assert themselves when pushed too far. They're calculated and loyal, often taking on a protective role, especially with siblings. With a mature outlook on life, they exude old soul vibes and may seem like natural teachers. They excel at planning and methodical tasks, dedicating themselves fully to their responsibilities. Despite being social, they prioritize duty and future success over socializing, often retreating to recharge. They value trustworthiness and responsibility in others but have little tolerance for foolishness. Communication for Capricorn Mercuries is pragmatic and logical, characterized by a clear and ordered approach. They prefer speaking with precision and clarity, often overthinking decisions and striving for perfection.
🫧 aquarius mercury
Aquarius Mercuries possess vivid imaginations and creative minds, often thinking far ahead but struggling with simple concepts. They may excel in unconventional roles while finding day-to-day tasks boring and easily becoming distracted. Despite being social, they struggle to open up and may feel neglected or misunderstood for their ideas. Their innovative nature draws admiration, but they may attract copycats without calling them out due to their kind demeanor. They have a random but fun sense of humor, often sending memes or random comfort items. Their accepting nature and detachment make them intriguing to others, who are drawn to their unique perspective and lack of judgment. They may be interested in the occult or unconventional topics. Getting to know them is a hit or miss, as they either click with someone completely or don't connect at all. Communication for Aquarius Mercuries is unique and inventive, characterized by creative and original thinking, often outside the box. They may get lost in their thoughts and should strive for more grounded and effective communication.
🫧 pisces mercury
Pisces Mercuries possess vast knowledge and ideas but may struggle with insecurity and seek validation. They have an old, wise soul, often knowing things intuitively and feeling deeply. They are sacrificial and generous, prone to being taken advantage of due to their kindness. In love, they may overlook red flags and defend their passions fervently. Drawn to beauty and gentleness, they have a creative sense of humor and may struggle with mundane tasks. Their relationships with siblings can be complex, ranging from intuitive understanding to manipulation. When expressing their darker side, they can be manipulative or prone to self-deception. Words of affirmation are important to them, as they have a vivid imagination but are often misunderstood. Pisces Mercuries approach communication intuitively and emotionally, valuing creativity and empathy but sometimes struggling with logic and detail.


this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits.
pics by @vmstv
#astroblr#astrology#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#natal chart#natal chart observations#natal chart analysis#aries mercury#taurus mercury#gemini mercury#cancer mercury#virgo mercury#leo mercury#libra mercury#scorpio mercury#sagittarius mercury#capricorn mercury#aquarius mercury#pisces mercury#air signs#water signs#fire signs#earth signs#zodiac#astrology placements#astro placements#birth chart#astro chart#astro asks
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Astrocartography notes
🌍 Do you want to study abroad? Work abroad? Your MC lines show what domain to pursue:
Sun MC: photographer, actor; check the planet ruling your Sun's zodiac sign for more details
Moon MC: nurse, preschool/elementary teacher, childcare worker/nanny, doula, housekeeper
Mercury MC: librarian, language teacher, speech language pathologist, translator, working in academia, journalist, PR agent, receptionist, secretary, architect, economist, comedian
Venus MC: modelling, artist, fashion designer, hairstylist, makeup artist, art director, interior designer, garden designer, florist, wedding planner
Mars MC: surgeon, firefighter, working at the police, sportsman (the type of sport depends on the zodiac sign Mars is in your birth chart, for ex. Mars in Pisces = football, swimming; Mars in Libra = gymnastics); fitness instructor
Jupiter MC: international driver (driving to your Jupiter MC line brings bonusess💰💰), flight attendant, hotel manager, tour guide, philosopher
Saturn MC: general practitioner, dentist, law, working in the Parliament, working in public institutions, business (CEO), historian, construction worker
Uranus MC: STEM (engineering, ecology sciences, biology), electrician, weather presenter, astronomer/astrophysicist, astrologer, sociology, social worker, advocate for human rights/activist
Neptune MC: choreographer, scenographer, film/theater director, actor, ballet dancer, music composer, rehabilitation worker, bartender, yoga instructor, meditation teacher, reiki practitioner
Pluto MC: adult actor, therapist, psychiatrist, any job regarding forensics (detective, toxicologist, forensic accountant etc.), embalmer, funeral director, loan officer, research analyst
🌍 If you have no astrocartography lines passing through the country you lived for most of your life, you probably don't feel at home in that country and have always wanted to relocate to another country
🌍 When you have atleast 2 lines "conjuncting" each other through a certain country, the planet that is more dominant in your birth chart will have a higher effect in astrocartography
🌍 Mercury IC line can show where one of your siblings or cousins relocate at some point during their life
🌍 If you're a girl and you have daddy issues (hey, we don't judge here!!), travelling to Saturn DSC line will likely bring you lots of opportunities of meeting your perfect partner, but also harsh lessons regarding control in a relationship (this is a good line for you to heal your daddy issues)
🌍 If you want to meet your future spouse and you (personally) find international guys attractive, travelling to Jupiter DSC line is a very good idea. Your future spouse might also be a foreigner in that country, just like you :)
🌍 Sun ASC line shows you where you can find your life's purpose. Also your depression:📉📉 0%, while your happiness:📈📈 100% (unless your Sun is in your 8th or 12th house, then the mental health effect is the complete opposite)
🌍 You could give birth on your Moon IC line😳 or your mom could have given birth to you on that line
🌍 Venus ASC line shows you where you could take lots of pictures (of yourself, of the sightseeings). Also, where you could get diabetes where you will want to try every type of sweets you find there
🌍 You will either get very drunk, consume drugs or smoke some weird shit on your Neptune ASC line (pls take care of your health)
🌍 You could randomly meet an ex or someone who resembles your ex while travelling to your Chiron DSC line
#astro#astro community#astrology#astro placements#astro observations#astro posts#astroblr#astro blog#astro notes#astrocartography#zodiac
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Effective Ways of Creating Relatable and Realistic Conflicts
As a writer, whether you're a beginner, intermediate, or expert, you've likely heard about the importance of creating "relatable and realistic conflicts." This advice appears in almost every writing guide. Yes, it's crucial.
However, this recurring statement might seem vague. Let's break down what these terms mean. We'll discuss how to create conflicts in your style that work, and what can lead to the opposite results.
✧✧✧✧
This is a flexible guide, not a strict set of rules. Let's begin.
✧✧✧✧
First, relatability is different from realism, at least in this context.
Relatability offers an experience that people have gone through before. They can easily identify it as something that happens.
Realism, on the other hand, can be a fresh experience or something entirely fantastical. Here's the catch: it must stay true to your setting and plot. For example, in a fantasy setting, your conflict could be the protagonist's dragon falling sick on the eve of a big race.
In the real world, we have no dragons. But in your setting, your situation with this creature feels real. Now consider an instance where we have intelligent insects with no apparent reason or explanation. This is an example of an unrealistic conflict that doesn't align with its setting. It's either you adjust a few things in the settings or adjust the conflict that stems from their intelligence or is solved by it.
Now that we've established that, let's consider what to keep in mind when writing conflicts.
Conflicts can be resolved instantly or extend further. They can begin your story, occur during it, or happen after a sweet moment.
Before writing a conflict, think about:
1. The Setting:
Where is your world set? This matters a lot! You can use our real-life world but still create your own rules, as long as you make that clear. Your conflict could come off as both realistic and relatable. However, where you have a total no is when your world is the normal world we know, with no changes, and your conflicts are unrealistic and unrelated.
You have such examples in some Bollywood movies. No offense to anyone in love with these movies. This is just a case study for clarification purposes.
Think of the fight scenes. The physical conflicts often stem from a grander conflict. You'll understand where I'm coming from.
2. Duration:
How long will this conflict last in your story? Earlier, I mentioned lasting conflict and fleeting conflict. The former helps create more meaning for your plot. The latter adds excitement that drives the plot forward.
3. Solvability:
Sometimes, the resolution to your conflict can render it meaningless, even after you've nailed the creation. Resolve your conflict in agreement with your plot.
4. Interesting Premise:
Conflict ideas sometimes come naturally as you write your story. I remember when I wrote high school stories, conflicts came to me as I wrote, but this doesn't happen every time. Sometimes, I knew I needed something more exciting and less predictable.
For example, it's common for a new female student to be rivaled by the school's most popular girl. This is usually because of the love interest—the most popular guy in school. But what if they become best friends, and the love interest turns out to be the popular girl's brother?
She mistakes the protagonist's friendship with a different guy as cheating, and the feeling of betrayal turns them against each other. This twist offers a fresh take on the usual antagonizing characters. It could make your story more interesting. This time the antagonist is doing what she feels is in her brother's favour not herself.
5. Character's Involvement:
This is slightly similar to the above. The difference is that it deals directly with the characters themselves, not just the conflict they face. The actions towards the conflict give the situation meaning.
6. Aim and Goals:
What do you aim to achieve with your conflict? Do you wish to entertain, hook the readers, drive the plot forward, or introduce a new object or character? It's best to aim for two at a time. Trying to achieve all in a single conflict could lead to complications.
Which conflict have you read in a book that made you wish you wrote it?
Aiming for a powerful plot? Check out this plot progression planner that helps you plan the aspects you often overlook. You get a free gift!
If you love what I do, support my work to enable more content production.
#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writer#writers and poets#writerscommunity#writing community#wattpad#ao3 writer#a03 writer#writing advice#writing and writers#writing blog#creative writing#writing process#plot problems#plot#conflict#writing discussion#writing guide#writing habits#writing ideas#writing novels#novel writing#writing on tumblr#writing problems#writing reference#writing resources#writing strategies#writing struggles
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day 1
i don't think I am (or could ever be) the kind of person who takes nice notes or has nice notebooks for each subject. i end up scrawling all over and tearing pages out and stapling them together.
i've been trying to fight the urge to not eat. i've been drinking a lot of coffee. i'm really scared but i think that's a good thing because you're only scared when you give a shit and i want to give a shit.


#study tips#study guide#academia#college life#100 days of studying#academic validation#stem student#college#productivity challenge#30nym#study aesthetic#study#student life#study blog#study inspiration#study motivation#study notes#study space#studyblr#study with me#studyblr community#studying#studyinspo#studyspo#stem academia#stemblr#stem#mathematics#mathblr#math
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jason todd x f!vigilante
MDNI dub-con, praise, relationship status up to interpretation
✿ ivy pollen — jason helps you out as you get exposed by ivy’s pollen. (not proof read)
“They want us to clean up this?” you gawk as you look at the greenhouse in front of you. Large plants and flowers were scattered everywhere, you could visibly see the moving stem circling around the greenhouse like some sort of python and some flowers that open and close every second
Jason merely shrugs, as if cleaning up a plant infested greenhouse would be a piece of cake “Be lucky its just this.”
You and Jason had been assigned to clean up the mess Ivy did in a recent mission Cass, Damian and Bruce had done. Since uh, GCPD can’t obviously do this, Bruce had chosen the two of you to be in charge of the job.
The two of you entered the greenhouse, Ivy isn’t here at the moment, so the plants were a little bit tamer without its master. At least no one was ordering around to kill you.
The task was to destroy as much hostile plants as possible, if they were to difficult to destroy, then place them to the pots or incubators by the truck the GCPD parked by.
Jason was already getting frustrated, most of the plants he was picking up were already starting to try to wrap around his arms. He could feel the plants trying to dig their vines and leaves into his skin as he grabs and pulls the roots away, this was not a pleasant feeling.
He tried to focus on removing the most toxic plants away first, but there were a lot of the damn things. He was hoping you had a good grasp on the little plants, otherwise this would be a long day
“These plants are a nuisance, why can't Ivy just mind her own business?”
“You said you wanted the harder ones.” you reminded him, “Do you want any help?”
“I can handle it, just focus on the smaller ones.” Jason said with a grunt as he felt a large vine wrap around his entire upper arm and start to squeeze. The plant in his other hand was starting to poke tiny thorns into his palm, “This is gonna be a long night.” he deadpanned.
You ignored his complains and approached a medium sized plant. Its petals were pink and it seemed like it was breathing. The plant looks up at you as it petals opens, it seems to recognize your presence as it purrs.
You smiled and placed your hand under the plant's chin, it almost resembled some kind of pet.
You turned your gaze to Jason, “Hey, look. Not all of them want to kill us.”
Jason looked over at the plant you were petting, his eyes widen for a moment as he takes in that you're actually petting the dang thing. He stares blankly for a moment before raising a single eyebrow
“Are we just gonna ignore the fact that you're petting a plant?” Jason asked flatly. “I mean…it’s kinda cute.” you say with a shrug as you continued to pet the plant. It seemed to really like it, it almost looked like it was nuzzling into your hand “Cute?” he repeated dryly, “You know it could possibly be poisonous, right?”
You didn’t listen as he huffs, “Don’t touch it.” he sharply says, “It’s fine. It’s harmless.” you reassure him.
"Yeah and how do you know that?" Jason asked, he seemed more annoyed by you not listening to him than anything.
"I swear sometimes you can be so-"
He was cut off with the plant shooting pink dust in your face, you immediately started coughing uncontrollably as you let go of the plant. Jason immediately pulls you out and places his hands on your shoulders.
“Hnn..” you groaned weakly as he examined your face, “God I feel weird.” you mumbled. He gently turns your head from side to side, studying your face. He doesn't see any serious harm, but you seemed off somehow.
"Do you feel dizzy?" he asked. He was starting to get a bad feeling, he was on edge about what the plants effect actually was. You nod your head in response, your eyes starting to look a bit fuzzy. Jason glances down and notices a small pink tinge to your cheeks.
"Let’s go to the safehouse.”
He quickly guides you out of the greenhouse, “Oracle, we’re going to the safe house. A planted sprayed some kind of toxin on her, i’ll try to use the antidotes there in case she infects anyone.”
It didn't take long until you made it to the safehouse and Jason was already setting you down on the small couch in the living room. You felt hot, and you felt like as if there was an itch in your body.
You especially feel the heat down at your core and it felt so uncomfortable. You closed your legs and crunched down to try and ease the pain.
Jason noticed your movement out of the corner of his eye. He had been watching you closely, making sure you were alright. He raised a eyebrow as he saw you curling up, you looked visibly uncomfortable.
"Are you in pain?"
As you look up at him, you can’t help but flush as you felt the heat between your legs burn more “Yeah, uh. Pretty much.” you winced. In your head, some unholy images popped up in your head, images of things your body desperately needed. You then slightly shake your head and close your eyes as you suppress your thoughts.
You were struggling against these strange feelings. You never felt this much heat or desperation before. you wanted.. needed, something but you weren't sure of what.
Jason had a pretty good idea of what was going on, the plant must’ve sprayed an aphrodisiac on you. He looked down at you, watching as you tried to curl up to ease the heat. It was starting to get to him too, seeing you like this “Alright, I think I know how to help."
"You do?" you mumble weakly. Your thighs were rubbing together, hoping to find some kind of relief. He could feel his own body start to heat up in response to your increasing desperation.
It was obvious you were starting to lose yourself to the aphrodises, the plant’s effects taking over your logic and reasoning. He gently placed a hand on your knee, trying to get your attention. You jumped at the contact, it felt like a fire through your trousers.
“Look, I’m going to help you, alright? You’re going to have to trust me though.” Jason said quietly.
You nod your head slowly, not trusting your voice to speak. You didn’t care what he was going to do at this point as long as it could relieve the needy heat in your body. He took that as a yes, then slid his hand slowly up your thigh, noticing your body tense in response.
“Just relax, I’ll make it feel good.” Jason’s voice was a deep whisper, trying to reassure you that he could soothe the ache you wanted gone so badly. “Jay- don’t be all talk please.” your voice let out a whine you didn’t mean.
His smirk grew larger at your whine, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. The fact that you were starting to give in to him was doing something to him that he couldn’t explain.
“Don’t be so impatient, I’ll take good care of you.” he said as he placed his hand in between your thighs.
You let out a whimper in response, your hips grinding pathetically into his hand. The feeling of his strong, rough hand in your sensitive clit was sending tingles through your entire body.
Jason continued to gently rub his hand slowly, wanting to build the anticipation for you. He wanted to hear more of your desperate whines, it was like music to him. He could feel himself starting to get hard from your reactions and it was all he could do not to give in too quickly himself.
His fingers moved in slow circles, applying pressure to your aching clit. You whimper and try to rock your hips against his hand, wanting more of that sweet friction.
”Look at you, you’re so wet. You want it badly don’t you? All you have to do is ask for me, and I’ll give it to you.”
“Please-” you pleaded softly, your voice cracking from both need and embarrassment. This was nothing like you at all, but right now you didn’t care. You were overwhelmed with desire and you needed him to make it better.
“Come here,” he said as he pulled on your waist, you let out a small noise of confusion before realizing what he meant.
He guided you onto his lap, your legs straddling him. You could feel the bulge in his pants, it was hard and large. His hands were on your hips, holding you in place as he leaned in close to you.
You could feel his breath on your neck and it sent shivers down your spine. He placed hot kisses on your neck, moving slowly and leaving a trail up to your ear. His lips were hot and rough, it made your head spin.
You lift your hips up slightly so that he can pull the spandex slowly down your thighs, the cool air on your skin sending goosebumps across your legs. You feel a sharp shiver go down your spine when he places his big, rough hands on your bare hips.
You leaned in to give him a desperate and clumsy kiss as your hips grind on him for friction. He let out a soft groan into the kiss. His grip on your hips tightened slightly as you grind against him, his growing bulge pressing against you.
“Damn, how strong is this ivy poison?” he huffed as he pulls away.
He placed another kiss on your neck, this one much harder than the previous one. His hands move down to your thighs, gently squeezing as he held you in place.
"Just be patient. You'll feel good soon enough."
“Jay.. Jay please..” you softly whisper in his ear, “I need you.. help.”
He had to bite back a groan when you spoke in his ear, your sweet voice begging for him was something he didn’t know he needed this badly. He nipped your neck before responding, "I’m going to take care of you. Just trust me."
He lifts your hips up to tug away his boxers and your panties and you practically drool at his size. He placed another kiss on your neck before moving his hands back to your hips. "Now, you just relax, alright?"
He rubbed his thumbs in circles on your inner thighs, trying to soothe you. The heat and desperation was clearly taking its toll on you, and he didn’t want you to feel any more uncomfortable.
Jason lifted you higher, moving one of his legs to prop your hips up a little. He positioned himself right below your dripping cunt, then placed one of his hands on your waist.
When you push down on his thick cock you cant help but moan in relief. He grunted as you sunk down onto him, his grip on your waist getting even more firm. You were soaking wet and hot and his cock felt amazing.
You started to move up and down. There was no rhythm and you were moving like an animal in heat as you had no control.
“Easy there,” Jason said, his voice slightly strained as you moved. He could tell that you were starting to lose yourself, the plant poison was starting to take completely over your body.
His hands were still on your waist, gently guiding you as you rode him.
“But I need.. I need..” you pant.
“I know what you need, but you need to calm down a little bit." he murmured, looking up at your flushed face. "Just let me take care of you."
He took your waist and started moving you up and down in a rhythm. He held onto you tightly as he started to move you, setting a slow pace at first. He could see how much you were struggling, how you were practically begging for relief from this overwhelming heat.
"Good girl," he whispered, his voice low and rough "just let go, I’ve got you."
He continued to move in a steady rhythm, listening to your soft moans and whimpers and wanting to make you feel even better. But after a few moments, he could tell you were starting to get more and more restless and needy again, like the heat was building up once more.
"Look at you, you're such a mess." he said in a low voice, his fingers digging into your flesh as he continued to move you "But I like it, it just means I get to take care of you more, isn't that right?"
You nodded in response.
"That's right. You're going to let me help you and take care of you, right?" he lifted you up just a bit, then slammed you back down against him, making you gasp in response.
"You're too good for me, so I'm going to make sure you feel good," he said, his voice getting a little strained. It was getting more difficult for him to keep himself under control, but he wanted to wait until you were fully satisfied before he let himself go.
He moved your hips a little harder, wanting to build the pressure for you. You were making cute little needy whimpers in his ear, and each one of them was making him go insane.
You felt a knot in your stomach as you did a broken moan, “I’m close..” you whispered in his ear.
He loved hearing you being so needy and telling him what you needed, it gave him a sense of control that he didn't know he needed so badly.
"Are you?" he whispered back, his voice strained. "Then we should probably do something about that, shouldn't we?"
With that, he lifted you up a little bit and then slammed you down even harder. The change of angle hit you in the right spot and he could tell from your face that it felt good.
He kept moving you in that same spot, wanting to hear more of your needy whines and whimpers. He was starting to get close himself, the control was slipping out of his grasp.
"Come here," he said, pulling you down into a rough kiss.
He could taste the desperation in your lips, your body was so hot against his skin. He held you close as he kissed you, hoping the feel of his tongue against yours would drive you over the edge.
Jason drank in your moan as you came, he could feel your body shake against his as you reached your climax. It was a beautiful sight to him.
"That's it, good girl." he said in a low voice, still holding you close. He could tell you had come down from your high, but it was clear that you weren't satisfied just yet, you needed even
You panted as you looked at him hazy. He looked back at you, his gaze intense. He could feel how much you wanted this, wanted him, and it was driving him fucking crazy.
The heat and pain honestly felt worse after the first round.
"Do you want more?" he asked.
“Please.”
He lifted you up off of him, making you whine in protest before he flipped you around so that you were lying on your back on the couch. He moved over you, leaning over to cover you with his body. He leaned in and kissed you deeply, his tongue exploring yours as he started to position himself between your thighs.
Jason pushes his cock in,, not waiting for you to adjust at his size considering you were already so prepared.
He moved in and out of you, picking up a slow, steady rhythm. He could feel the heat already starting to build again, every inch of you felt so good to him.
He felt like the poison from the plant had done a number on him as well, he kept his face close to yours, so he could hear every gasp and whimper that came out of your mouth.
He grunted as you dug your nails into his back and held onto him for dear life. It felt like you were the only thing tying him to reality, and honestly, he didn't mind.
He continued to thrust in your pussy, doing circles around your puffy clit. It felt so good that you couldn't think straight, the only thing you could focus on was the feeling of you around him. He started to move even faster, his cock slamming into your pussy with each thrust.
You let out a broken moan as he hits the spot that makes your legs close. He leaned in to capture your lips in a rough kiss.
His hands gripped your thighs tightly as he continued to move. You tasted so sweet, it was like his own kind of poison, and he couldn't get enough of it.
He pulled back from the kiss to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling heavily with each ragged breath. He looked at you, his eyes dark with need, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer.
You felt your orgasm building up again as you whined, “I-im gonna..”
He grunted in response, his hands holding onto your thighs a little tighter. "Go ahead, come for me." He practically growled the words, his voice rough and deep, his own climax starting to build in the pit of his stomach,
You cried out his name as you came all over his cock. He let out a low groan as he felt you tighten around him, it was the final straw before all of the control he had slipped out of his grasp.
He came hard inside of you, his body shaking and his fingers digging into your thighs. It felt like every nerve in his body was set on fire at once. He collapsed above you, panting hard as he tried to regain his breath.
He could feel how hot and sweaty his skin was as he lays on top of you. He lifted his head to look at you, noticing that your face wasn't nearly as flushed and your eyes didn't look quite as hazy anymore. The ivy's poison must've finally started to wear off.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice still hoarse and rough as he brushed some stray hairs off your sweaty forehead.
“Y-yeah. Um, I am.” you said, looking away feeling flushed on what just happened.
"Embarrassed?" he asked quietly, still trying to catch his breath. "That was pretty fun."
“I didn’t know I wasn’t able to control myself like that.” you said. After years of training, you couldn’t believe you lost your control even though you were trained to maintain it hundreds of times.
He smiled a little bit as he heard you try to defend yourself. "Yeah well, even the best lose control sometimes,"
Oracle tuned in on his comms, which thankfully he didn’t leave hanging while fucking you. “Red Hood, have you given her the antidote?” she asks.
Technically.. the antidote was pretty useless now. Jason rolls his eyes a bit at Oracle's question.
"Yeah Oracle, I've given her the antidote. She's fine now."
“Great, Red Robin and Spoiler will take over the greenhouse instead. Both of you rest.” Oracle said before tuning out. Jason can't help but shake his head at her response, he knew she wasn't buying that he gave you the antidote, but it seemed like she didn't want to say anything.
“I'm tired.. and sore.” you mumbled as you leaned ln his chest. "Yeah, I figured you would be. Come on, I’m pretty sure this safe house has a bed that fits the both of us.”
🌷 did u like this? i didn’t, i dont know how to write smut.. i might delete this but um yes
#✿ saf’s fics#jason todd x reader#jason todd x f!reader#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd headcanons#jason todd headcanon#jason todd dc#jason todd fic#jason todd#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red robin x reader#red hood dc#red hood#dc x reader#batboys#batboys x reader#jason todd imagines#jason todd imagine
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