#This is a slow project
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mermaidslabyrinth · 1 day ago
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Fanart Project Update
So I have been working since the end of May to get the sketches done for my fanart project. I finished up this weekend/Tuesday on getting the details done. They can still be a little tweaked here and there but for now, this is how they will mostly look once I start inking and water coloring them.
I felt I should update the people that so graciously offered up characters for me to draw. To not let them think that I was shirking the task that I laid before myself.
Under the cut are the drawings. If you have any thoughts on what colors the outfits could be, I am very open.
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First for @vhagar-balerion-meraxes I drew two Aegons. The first was my first drawing of any of the art pieces. I felt I could do a little better so I did another one.
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Next for @sikudastoner was Lady Jeyne Arryn. I went off of what the actor Amanda Collins looked like mixed with my own thoughts.
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Then for @multiverse-of-multifandoms I drew Rhaenyra and Alicent. Rhaenyra was one I had to stop and come back to. I was getting too inside my head (I had to get her nose just right). I'm still trying to figure out the headpiece for Alicent, I'm going with the vibes of the Seven.
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For @heretherebebookdragons I drew Baela and Rhaena. I am unsure about Baela's clothing but I went with the whole she sees herself as "fire and blood". As for Rhaena, I had to do something with her hair. In my opinion, season one did her so dirty. I'm not 100% satisfied but I can fix it before I ink. I gave her Rhaenyra's necklace from Daemon. I got the idea from @happilyhertale from a quick talk we had months ago.
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Finally for @rainwingmarvel7 I drew Jace and her OC, Therese Targaryen. With Jace I'm still trying to figure out if I like the design of his outfit. And for Therese, I do hope I captured how you see her.
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Thank you all for giving me characters to draw. I have enjoyed doing this. It has definitely pushed me into expanding on figuring out designs for outfits and hair. That has been much appreciated in helping hone that skill. As well as figuring out how to create a “realistic” look to the hair. So, again, quite grateful to everyone.
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soapyakships · 1 month ago
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i start over with a dead variable
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gunstellations · 8 months ago
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encounter (1/?)
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cont. of unfamiliar side
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hyuckiefluff · 1 month ago
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casual | mark lee
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pairing: idol! mark lee x waitress! fem. reader genre: fluff, strangers to lovers wc: 8k summary: you wouldn’t normally fall for a guy who left his number on a dinner bill. too bad that guy was mark fucking lee. content warnings: slightly suggestive content (making out), light cursing, food mentioned, parasocial themes, reader works a service job, a very overworked mark lee :(. no explicit smut in this part. a/n: hiii before anyone yells at me—yes, i know this isn’t the haechan fic i’m supposed to be working on (promise i’m still on it!!) but listen… i went to the smtown concert last week and it fully reignited my delusions, so i wrote this as a coping mechanism :P ik we’ve all been out with friends maybe at a restaurant, and thought, “what if my bias walked in right now?” right?? that’s basically the entire premise of this fic. pretty unrealistic but super fun to write & i hope it’s just as fun to read! also no smut… yall know what that means lol if you want a part 2... just say the word. ps: if you’re ever at an italian restaurant, do yourself a favor and get the gnocchi. trust me.
giving up your one free day to cover someone else’s shift wasn’t how you planned to spend saturday. but when your coworker begged with teary eyes and a story about her sick cat, saying no felt impossible.
so instead of sinking into your couch with a pint of chocolate ice cream and pride and prejudice on repeat, you were hustling through a saturday night at one of the city’s busiest restaurants.
it was hour six of your shift and you were at that breaking point where one starts fantasizing about quitting—or at least hiding in the walk-in freezer for five peaceful minutes.
any weekend here was a carnage with nonstop orders, zero patience, and customers who thought yelling would grill a steak faster.
but it was finally past eleven which meant the dinner rush had slowed and the only remaining stragglers were either couples too in love to notice the time or office workers too tired to cook at home. just two more hours, you thought to yourself.
“y/n! table four,” your coworker called, rushing past with a stack of empty plates.
you snapped out of your daze and walked over, expecting tired business executives or another couple feeding each other breadsticks. instead, you made eye contact with the two people you least expected to see here.
mark lee and johnny suh were looking right at you.
your heart dropped to your ass. for a second, you actually considered turning around. but even with your brain buffering, you knew you had to keep it together. the last thing you wanted was to make them uncomfortable.
you stopped beside their table, immediately recognizing the other two who had their backs to you as haechan and jungwoo. internally, you were combusting, but externally you prayed your expression didn’t scream that you were seconds from melting into the floor.
“hi, welcome to cecconi’s,” you said, voice steady enough despite your heart hammering your ribs.
when you handed over their menus, your fingers brushed mark’s briefly and you hoped he didn’t notice you flinch. that’s when you noticed the book peeking out of the front pocket of his hoodie.
you recognized the cover instantly— south of the border, west of the sun by murakami.
you cleared your throat, smiling before you could stop yourself. “that’s a good one.”
mark’s eyes followed where you were pointing and his eyebrows shoot up when he realized “wait… you’ve read this?”
you nodded, trying to be casual, as if you hadn’t picked that book apart alone on your bedroom floor at 2 a.m. two months ago. “i’ve read all of his stuff. but this one was a whole different experience.”
“i literally can’t put it down.” mark said, angling his body to yours with excitement. you could see he was tired but the small talk seemed to give him an energy boost.
“right? anything by murakami makes me feel like i’m eavesdropping on my own memories,” you said, mostly to yourself.
“that’s exactly it!” he said, eyes going wide. “i never knew how to put it into words before.” you had to look away before you got caught smiling at how boyish he looked when he got excited.
the other members stared with amused expressions on their faces, so you quickly straightened up and went back into server mode.
“right… uhm, our special tonight is black truffle gnocchi in a garlic cream reduction, topped with parmesan and chive oil. would you like something to drink while you look over the menu?”
“what kind of beers do you have?” johnny asked, leaning back in his seat.
you rattled off the list, stepping in to point them out on the menu. your hand was visibly shaking, but you hoped they’d chalk it up to general social awkwardness and not the fact that your four favorite idols were sitting in front of you.
“just water for me,” mark said softly. despite his smile, you could clearly hear how strained his voice was.
“great, i’ll bring those right out.”
they must’ve come straight from the venue. tonight’s show—the very one you’d missed because of this shift—had ended less than two hours ago. and now they were here, in your section, eating dinner. 
you walked to the bar, filled the glasses as requested except for mark’s. for him, you brewed a mug of hot water, dropped in a slice of lemon, a swirl of honey, and a small nub of ginger. it wasn’t even on the menu but something about his tired eyes and strained voice made you move on instinct.
you brought the tray back with all the drinks, placing them down carefully. when you reached mark, you set the mug in front of him.
“i hope this is okay,” you said quietly. “honey-ginger tea. it’s good for your throat.”
mark blinked, taken off guard. “oh… thank you.” he looked down at the mug, then back up at you. “seriously. that’s really thoughtful.”
you just smiled, brushing a stray hair behind your ear. “are you guys ready to order?”
they each placed their orders, nothing too extravagant. jungwoo wanted pasta, johnny asked for a steak medium rare, and haechan—after a dramatic five minute debate with himself—settled on the truffle gnocchi. mark went last.
“can i get the steak medium rare? and the mashed potatoes instead of the fries, if that’s okay,” he asked, glancing up again, voice still carrying that soft exhaustion.
“of course,” you said, jotting it down. “i’ll get those in for you.”
you dropped the order slip at the kitchen window, still feeling weirdly out of sync with your body. it didn’t help that you had to keep circling their table to serve other guests. table five had just ordered dessert, the group behind them needed their wine refilled, and your feet barely touched the floor before you were moving again. 
still, awareness prickled at the back of your neck whenever you passed their table.
you turned your head slightly, pretending to scan the room. mark was looking right at you but quickly glanced away, suddenly very invested in the tea in front of him.
you hesitated. maybe they needed something?
smoothing your apron, you walked back to their table. your heart thudded way harder than it needed to, but you managed a smile.
“everything okay here?” you asked.
mark cleared his throat, shaking his head as a faint flush crept up his neck. “we’re good. thanks, though.”
johnny’s lips twitched, and haechan was very clearly hiding a smirk behind his glass.
you smiled again, warmth rising in your chest at how shy he looked. “no worries. food should be out soon.”
back behind the bar, you tried to focus. really, you did. but your eyes kept drifting back to their table. thankfully, they seemed too wrapped up in their conversation to notice. every now and then, though, mark’s gaze would flicker your way.
he’s probably just zoning out, you told yourself. or exhausted, probably both. don’t be weird about it.
still… he kept looking. did you have something on your face? was it obvious you recognized them? god, what if he thought the tea was too much?
you groaned softly and buried your face in your hands when no one was looking.
pull it together, y/n. finish the shift. freak out later.
they are pretty quickly and eventually, their table quieted down. it was past midnight now, and the restaurant was finally starting to shut down. you printed their bill, then hesitated, chewing your lip as your pulse ticked higher.
should i?
this was your shot. it was maybe a little silly and borderline embarrassing, but if you didn’t say something now, you’d regret it forever.
before you could second-guess yourself any more, you scribbled a note at the bottom of the receipt:
"hii, hope this isn’t weird but i’m a really big fan. you’re amazing and i hope you enjoyed your meal and that the tea helped. get some rest tonight! :)"
you took a breath, walked back over, and placed it gently in the center of the table.
“here’s your bill,” you said quietly. “no rush, of course.”
mark looked up first. the smile he gave you was a little tired, but genuine.
“thank you,” he said warmly.
you nodded and stepped away, legs wobbling slightly as you disappeared into the back.
it’s done, you told yourself. no going back now.
as you busied yourself cleaning other tables, you watched from the corner of your eye as they got up. haechan said something that made mark laugh quietly, eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that made your stomach flutter helplessly.
then they were gone.
you waited a few extra minutes before heading over just to be sure. as you cleared the plates, you reached for the bill with your heart already racing, though you told yourself not to expect anything.
but when you opened the leather folder, your breath hitched.
they’d left a generous tip—but that wasn’t what caught your eye. there was something written under your message, a response scribbled quickly in neat handwriting:
"thanks for taking care of us tonight. especially the tea! :)"
followed by a number.
your heart kicked so hard you had to brace a hand on the table edge. there was no name at all, just the number. the ink looked a little smudged near the dash like whoever wrote it had closed the presenter in a hurry.
holy shit.
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it was past one when you finally made it home, hair smelling like garlic butter and burnt steak. the city lay quiet, your apartment even quieter, yet your brain refused to join the calm.
with a tired sigh, you tossed your bag onto the couch and collapsed beside it, fingers still gripping the bill tightly.
you’d reread the message ten times already. the ink was even more smudged now from your fingers, but the number was still clear.
you exhaled loudly, then groaned into a throw pillow.
“what the hell is happening.”
it had to be mark. right? it felt obvious. 
then again, maybe another member had simply appreciated the gesture and thanked you on behalf of mark. after all, their handwriting wasn't exactly familiar. you’d seen them a few times on signed albums or online fan letters, but not enough to be certain. 
suddenly determined, you sat upright, snapped a quick photo, and zoomed in immediately.
“this is insane,” you muttered.
 but that didn’t stop you from opening a tab to search: mark lee handwriting.
this wasn’t your best moment. you were tired, emotionally compromised, and clearly spiraling. still you opened a second tab and went deeper until you were staring at stan twitter handwriting threads for half an hour.
after many more side-by-sides, you sat back and stared at the screen like it could confess to you.
“it looks like his,” you whispered.
just text him. what's the worst that could happen?
the thought alone conjured every embarrassing scenario possible and made you nearly throw your phone across the room. how would you even start that conversation?
“hi, is this mark lee from nct? because i’m lowkey in love with you and i really hope you're the one who left your number at my workplace tonight?”
your heart nearly stopped at the thought. you glanced at the clock again—2:17 a.m.
yeah. no. you needed to lie down. you’d sleep on it. calm down a bit and gain some perspective.
but three days passed.
three whole days. that’s how long you spent agonizing over a single text. you'd written and deleted at least twenty drafts—too casual, too eager, too weird. one even included a joke you cringed at the second you typed it, and deleted just as fast.
he’s probably already back in korea, you reminded yourself while folding napkins at the restaurant on tuesday. fan accounts had posted airport photos before you even got out of bed. mark in a beanie and headphones, eyes puffy with exhaustion.
two more days passed. eventually, courage outweighed dread.
on thursday night, curled up in your pajamas, you stared at the too-bright glow of your phone while netflix asked if you were still watching. just do it, you told yourself. again.
you opened a new message. typed. erased. retyped. your pulse pounded, drowning out mr. darcy’s proposal in the background.
hi! this is y/n, the server from cecconi’s last saturday night. i know you’re probably crazy busy, but i just wanted to say thanks again for coming in. hope you’re resting well :)
it was friendly and not too over the top… right?
you hit send and immediately shoved the phone under your blanket, like that could somehow shield you from the rejection.
an hour passed, then three more, and nothing. you forced yourself to sleep, pretending the tight knot in your chest wasn’t disappointment. the next morning, you checked your phone before even opening both eyes.
still nothing. not even a read receipt.
it’s fine. they were idols. they were busy. you’d waited too long anyway. the group was back in rehearsals, buried in schedules. who had time to answer a text from a random server in another country?
another day passed with no reply. you tried to talk yourself down. maybe it wasn’t even his number. maybe it was a manager’s. maybe his phone was off. maybe international sims are weird. maybe—
“why did you wait so long,” you muttered into the couch, face buried in a pillow.
you were just about ready to let it go when your phone buzzed softly against the coffee table.
your heart nearly launched itself out of your chest. you scrambled for it, almost knocking over the entire table in the process.
a new message.
sorry!! things got crazy once we got back to korea. i’m really glad you texted though. and we’re resting (sort of haha). it’s mark btw :)
you stared at the screen.
read it. then read it again. and again.
warmth flooded your chest. you'd been right.
it was him.
your thumb hovered over the keyboard, brain scrambling for something to say. but for the first time in days, all you could do was smile.
you hadn’t realized how easily a single text could flip your whole mood until he replied. you must’ve read that message ten times before you even responded.
somehow, the conversation flowed naturally from there.
it started with casual back-and-forths. he’d talk about the tour, and you about your shifts. it quickly turned more personal though like blurry late-night snack pics from his studio, or mirror selfies of your server fits before dinner rushes.
none of it felt forced. but still… what was this?
you’d be wiping down table six or pulling espresso shots for a regular who never tipped, and suddenly your phone would buzz with a text message.
mark: can’t believe you’ve never seen inception…
you: maybe i was busy having friends
he sent back a string of laughing emojis and a photo of his laptop playing it.
mark: you’re watching it with me next time. no excuses.
next time.
you didn’t know what that meant, but it echoed in your head for the rest of the shift.
by the second week, it wasn’t just texts.
sometimes he’d call when your time zones aligned, and you were both free. once while you were folding laundry. another while he walked home from the studio, breath fogging the cold air as he complained about his busted heater.
“i feel like an old man,” he said once, voice scratchy. “my knees hurt”
“you’re twenty-five.”
“and breaking down.”
you laughed until your stomach hurt. he was quiet for a second, then said, “i like your laugh.”
you had to grip the edge of the counter to stay upright.
a month later came the first video call.
it was early morning. you were still half-asleep, texting with one eye open, when your screen lit up with a facetime request. you froze.
no makeup. puffy eyes. pimple cream still on your chin. but your fingers accepted the call before your brain could stop you.
he was lying down, hoodie half over his face.
“oh thank god,” he mumbled. “i thought you weren’t gonna pick up.”
“i almost didn’t,” you laughed, pulling the covers up to hide half your face. “you caught me in a vulnerable state.”
his eyes crinkled. “you look cute.”
you didn’t know what to say to that, so you just tucked your face further into the blanket.
after a few hours, the call fell into a comfortable silence, his eyes starting to flutter shut as you both lay in your respective beds.
you should’ve hung up, but you didn’t. you just stayed on the call, watching him sleep.
video calls became routine after that.
at first, they were short—ten, maybe fifteen minutes. he’d call after practice, his hair a mess, face still damp with sweat. the phone would be propped against his water bottle as he peeled off his hoodie and complained about sore calves.
but the calls started stretching longer. sometimes he was lying on a hotel bed, cheek pressed into the pillow, telling you about his comeback preparations. other times, he wandered through whatever city he was in, showing you the neon signs, quiet side streets, and cafés tucked into corners no tourist would ever find.
“i’ll take you here one day,” he said once, camera panning to a ramen shop. “i mean… if you ever visit.”
you didn’t answer right away. just smiled and pretended the idea didn’t stick in your chest like a pebble you couldn’t shake loose.
you started saving little things throughout the day just to tell him later. customer stories, songs that reminded you of him, strange headlines you knew would make him laugh. without realizing it, your brain made notes labeled tell mark this later.
he did the same. he sent you photos of whatever snack he was eating on set, told you about a dream where you both worked in a space bakery, asked what you thought of new songs he was writing. he never sent full demos, just a few seconds here and there—but it still felt intimate.
you started noticing things you hadn’t, even after all your years as a fan. how he bit the soft skin of his knuckles when he was anxious or the fact that he brushed his teeth for 6 minutes (yes, you counted).
neither of you brought up what this was. and maybe that was okay.
still, on some nights, you’d wonder does he text other people like this? has he done this before, video calls, sleepy laughter and quietly sharing his day?
you never asked.
you didn’t want to ruin the quiet magic of it all by needing too much too soon.
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mark eased you into his life bit by bit.
on a random thursday night, you were sprawled on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through tiktok when your phone buzzed. you smiled automatically when you saw his name and hit accept.
but it wasn’t him when the call connected.
“yo! she’s real!” johnny’s voice boomed through the speaker, far too loud and way too amused.
you blinked. “wait—what?”
the screen shook as mark scrambled to get the phone back. “okay, okay, stop—hyung, give it back!”
“nice to meet you,” jungwoo added brightly in the background. “finally!”
haechan’s face popped into view next. he hovered close to the camera, flashing a crooked grin. “she’s the one, right? the reason he’s always giggling at his phone like a loser.”
they were all speaking in korean, except for johnny—who made sure you caught the gist. you weren’t fluent, but you knew enough to piece it together. their tone said a lot, anyway.
“what did he say?” you asked, laughing nervously.
johnny leaned in. “he said mark’s obsessed with you.”
mark groaned in the background. “don’t translate that.”
“he talks about you,” haechan added in english, still half-hiding behind jungwoo but clearly enjoying himself. “all. the. time.”
you stared at the screen, wide-eyed, face already burning. “oh god—wait, we just—”
“aigoo, she’s cute,” jungwoo said with a grin, nudging haechan’s shoulder. “mark, you’re done for.”
mark finally got his phone back, his flushed face filling the screen. he was breathless from laughing.
“i’m so sorry,” he mumbled. “that was… i didn’t mean for that to happen.”
you were still blushing but grinning too. “so you talk about me all the time?”
he covered his face with one hand. “please. don’t start, they won’t let me live this down”
after that night, it became a running thing. sometimes you’d call just to talk to mark and end up ambushed by his members. taeyong once popped into frame with a plate of fruit, offering you a piece through the screen like you could actually take it. “for energy,” he said in halting English, then smiled and wandered off.
chenle appeared a few times asking random questions as if you’d been friends forever, one time he asked “do you like mark as much as he likes you?”
you sputtered something while mark tried (and failed) to shut him up.
renjun showed up once too, squinting at the screen. “so this is the girl,” he said, then walked off dramatically without another word.
it was chaotic, awkward, and constantly embarrassing but it also made your chest ache in the best way. knowing you weren’t some secret he was hiding. you were someone he wanted them to know.
and then one night, a few weeks later, mark called with a different kind of energy.
“guess what?” he said, barely able to sit still.
you blinked at him through the screen. “what?”
“we’re going to the US,” he grinned, and your heart nearly stopped.
“wait, seriously?”
“yeah, for a festival. just one weekend, but i’ll have a couple free days before the flight out. i—” he paused, scratching the back of his neck. “i was really hoping i could see you.”
you stared at him, stunned for a second.
“you want to see me?” you asked softly.
“yeah,” he said immediately. “i mean, only if you want to, obviously. i just… i’ve been thinking about it for a while. texting and calling is great but,.. i kind of miss being in the same room as you.”
not just the same city,  not just in passing. but in the same room with you.
you swallowed past the nerves bubbling up in your chest and nodded, trying to keep your voice steady.
“i want that too.”
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you tried for tickets the second they went live.
you had alarms set, several tabs open, your card ready. but none of it mattered…
they sold out in minutes.
you stared at the screen in disbelief, refreshing the page over and over hoping the outcome would change. it didn’t. your chest tightened with each failed refresh.
you were so close. and now, you had no idea how to tell mark.
you waited a whole day, thinking they’d release more tickets, maybe someone would resell—but the prices were insane, triple what you could afford, and the longer you waited, the more hopeless it felt.
when he finally called you that night, you tried to act normal for about ten seconds before it all came spilling out.
“i didn’t get tickets,” you said, voice cracking before you could stop it. “they sold out so fast and now the only ones left are like impossible. and i know you’re going to be super busy and probably won’t be able to meet up anyway, but i was really looking forward to seeing you perform, and now i don’t even know if i’ll get to see you at all—”
“hey, hey, slow down.” mark’s voice was soft. “breathe, y/n.”
you inhaled shakily, pressing your forehead to your knee, curled up on the couch. “sorry. i just… i really wanted to be there.”
“i know,” he said gently. “and i want you there too.”
you went quiet, biting the inside of your cheek.
“but we’ll figure something out, okay?” mark continued. “don’t stress about it too much. just… trust me a little.”
“what do you mean…,” you said slowly, suspicion creeping in.
he chuckled. “nothing. just saying... maybe don’t give up hope yet.”
you narrowed your eyes at your phone. “you’re being cryptic.”
“am i?” he said, way too innocently.
you groaned into your pillow. “don’t do this to me.”
“i’m not doing anything,” he replied. “just... keep the day of the festival open, okay?”
you wanted to press him, but the look in his eyes was too confident. so you nodded slowly, heart still a little heavy but soothed by the warmth in his voice.
the day they landed in the US, you got the call while brushing your teeth.
your phone lit up with his name, and you answered with a mouthful of foam, spitting it out quickly as you mumbled, “hey, did you land?”
“we did,” mark said, voice laced with excitement. “and i have good news.”
“what?”
“a car’s going to pick you up the day of the show,” he said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “my team helped sort it out. we wanted to make sure you’d be there.”
you blinked, wide-eyed, toothbrush still in hand. “wait what? you—what do you mean? mark—”
“you’re coming to the festival, y/n. you’re not missing this. not if i can help it.”
you clutched your phone, stunned into silence, overwhelmed by how much care he’d tucked into those few words.
“you didn’t have to—”
“i know,” he interrupted, voice softer now. “but i wanted to.”
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you’d never felt more nervous getting ready for anything in your entire life. not for job interviews, not for first dates, not even for a final exam. nothing compared to the fluttering anxiety buzzing in your chest right now.
it was almost ridiculous how much effort you'd put in. your hair was carefully styled in waves that took you half an hour to do, your makeup was done and redone multiple times until you finally settled on something subtle but pretty. your outfit had taken ages to choose, you didn’t want to look too casual but also didn’t want to make it seem like you were trying too hard. so you settled for a regular black skirt and a white long sleeved top, it was comfortable but not boring. you wanted to look good, even though mark had already seen you at your most tired, sweaty, and disheveled.
the car arrived precisely at the time mark had promised. your heart jumped to your throat when the driver opened the door for you, offering a polite nod. 
your hands trembled slightly in your lap the entire ride to the venue. you felt giddy, overwhelmed, and deeply nervous all at once.
but when you finally arrived, the excitement abruptly shifted into self-awareness. several staff members glanced at you warily, some whispering to each other and throwing quick looks your way. suddenly, you felt very out of place, shrinking slightly under their scrutinizing gazes.
“excuse me,” came a sharp voice behind you. you turned around to see a woman approaching, her expression serious, a clipboard held firmly in her hands. “you must be y/n?”
“yes,” you replied nervously.
“there are some documents you'll need to sign,” she informed you.
“documents? like—”
“standard NDAs, confidentiality agreements, liability waivers,” she cut in and handed you a clipboard, flipping briskly through pages filled with dense legal text. “you'll need to sign these before we move forward.”
you stood frozen for a moment, feeling incredibly naive and small as reality hit you like a slap to the face. you’d let yourself get carried away, almost forgetting who exactly mark was—who exactly these people were. they weren't just regular guys; they were idols, celebrities, people with management teams and carefully guarded images.
this was serious and you had somehow underestimated all of it.
the woman noticed your hesitation, her expression softening just a fraction. “it’s standard procedure,” she said, “mark personally asked us to ensure you’re comfortable, but we need to protect everyone involved.”
“okay,” you whispered shakily, taking the pen from her hand. your fingers felt numb as you signed, barely registering the words printed on the paper. 
once the woman was satisfied, she took the clipboard back, nodded curtly, and gestured for you to follow her. your heart thundered in your chest as you walked through the busy hallway.
then she stopped in front of a dressing room door, knocking sharply once before opening it slightly. “mark? your guest is here.”
you held your breath as the door slowly swung open, your pulse so loud you could hardly hear anything else.
mark appeared in the doorway, eyes widening slightly as he took you in. suddenly, all the anxiety, paperwork, and awkwardness faded into the background. his expression softened immediately, that familiar warmth returning as his eyes crinkled in a gentl smile.
“hey,” he breathed softly, clearly just as relieved to see you as you were to see him. “you made it.”
mark steps fully into the hallway, blocking the view of the bustling green-room behind him. for half a beat you both just stare, soaking in the fact that you’re finally sharing the same oxygen again instead of pixels on a phone screen.
“wow…” he breathes, cheeks coloring as his eyes scan you. “you look so—” he catches himself, smiles sheepishly, and opens his arms. “can i?”
you nod before your brain supplies coherent language, letting him tug you forward. the hug is quick—he’s hyper-aware of everyone around you—but his hand stays at your elbow afterward, grounding you.
“sorry about the fuss,” he murmurs, voice pitched low so only you can hear. 
“it’s okay… just a bit intense.”
“i know.” his thumb sweeps a tiny circle on your sleeve. “but you’re here now. c’mon, the guys are waiting.”
when you walk inside the room is buzzing with energy. there’s stylists zipping garment bags, a makeup artist following jungwoo around to touch up his lips, haechan drumming on a folding table with two half-empty water bottles. the second he spots you, his face splits into a grin.
“look who made it!” he crows, loud enough for the entire room to hear. “mark’s special guest.”
johnny swivels in a chair. “oh, the infamous y/n at last.” he stands, offering a hand that turns into a gentle half-hug when you take it. “nice seeing you again.”
jungwoo waves from a corner, cheeks puffed with gummy bears. “hi! mark’s talked a lot about you,” he says around the candy. 
mark groans. “ignore them, they’ve been insufferable since i told them you were coming.”
“insufferable?” haechan clutches his chest theatrically. “hyung, we’re just supporting your relationship!”
you feel your face go nuclear. “it’s not— we’re just—”
“friends,” mark supplies, shooting haechan a warning glance. but the tips of his ears have gone pink, and the little smile tugging at his mouth totally betrays him.
johnny leans closer, whispering, “lies, he’s always grinnung at his phone like a middle schooler whenever you talk.”
you let out a mortified laugh that turns into a squeak when mark nudges johnny away. “we have to be on stage in ten minutes, maybe focus?”
jungwoo claps. “right! you can watch backstage with staff.”
an assistant appears then, handing mark an in-ear pack. he hesitates, then squeezes your hand once before following the others toward wardrobe.
“sorry i gotta get dressed,” he says over his shoulder, “see you in a bit.”
you exhale for the first time since stepping off the car, pulse finally settling as the door swings shut. you tuck a stray hair behind your ear, catching your reflection in a vanity mirror. your cheeks are flushed and there’s a stunned little smile on your lips.
the staff member that escorted you in approaches again, her expression now more polite but still distant as she walks you down a narrow hallway. “you’ll be watching from here,” she explains as you reach a curtained-off section just beside the stage entrance.
the space is just wide enough for a couple of folding chairs, and a monitor showing the stage feed. even through the curtain, you can hear the low rumble of the crowd growing louder by the second—cheers, screams, the crowd chanting “ilichil, we love you!” 
you perch at the edge of a chair, feeling entirely out of place and wildly overwhelmed.
what am i even doing here?
this wasn’t some fantasy anymore. you weren’t watching fancams in your pajamas or whispering to your screen during late-night video calls. you were backstage, in their world, and everyone around you belonged to it except you.
you looked down at your outfit again, smoothing invisible wrinkles, suddenly doubting every choice you’d made that morning. your nails, your shoes, even the way you’d done your eyeliner. it all felt too much and not enough at the same time.
a soft noise pulls your attention back to the side curtain. one of the stylists slips through, handing off a mic pack to someone just outside your view. you recognize mark’s voice quickly.
he’s laughing at something jungwoo said, but even through the laughter you can hear the edge of nerves in his voice. it makes you feel… less alone in your own.
you peek around the edge of the curtain. they’re all gathered near the wings, adjusting their in-ears and bouncing on their heels to shake out last-minute jitters. mark’s back is turned at first, but then he glances over his shoulder almost like he can feel your eyes on him.
your breath catches when his gaze finds yours. through all the chaos and noise, his eyes meet yours like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
he doesn’t wave or call out—he just smiles.
he turns back as staff starts to guide them toward the entrance tunnel, and you’re left sitting there with your heart doing an unholy rhythm in your chest.
you hadn’t expected this, the building pressure in your chest, the way your emotions feel too big to hold.
but underneath all of it, layered between the nerves and the noise inside your own head, there’s a flicker of anticipation.
he’s just a few feet away now. he’s about to be on stage, doing what he was born to do, and you’ll be right here, watching not just as a fan anymore.
but as someone who matters to him.
the stage lights cut to black, and the low hum of the backing track pulses through the arena like a heartbeat. from your narrow perch in the wings you can feel the vibration under your soles, a physical reminder that this isn’t a dream.
a lone spotlight slices across the darkness—jungwoo steps into it, and the crowd erupts. the boys fan out behind him in practiced formation.
mark is near the center, head lowered, hand cupped over his earpiece as he settles into position. you’ve watched this opening on countless fancams, but up close everything is magnified: the hiss of their in-ears, the snap of jacket fabric when they turn, the ragged inhale before the first line.
johnny’s deep vocal rolls out, haechan answers with his bright harmony, and suddenly the whole place is singing along..
mark’s part hits next. he steps forward, eyes scanning the sea of faces before flicking to you. it’s only a second, a brush of attention so quick the crowd would never catch it, but it lands like a spark in your lungs. he grins, then pivots into choreography.
you never understood how performers could look both effortless and deadly focused until now. sweat beads at their hairlines within minutes, but they don’t miss a beat. haechan riffs a playful ad-lib, doyoung shoots him a mock glare, johnny laughs into his mic; the crowd screams, drunk on the interaction.
halfway through the set, they perform gold dust as a surprise, the stage lights go yellow. mark moves to the far edge closer to you and delivers his verse straight ahead. but on his last bar he tilts his head, eyes skimming the shadows where you’re standing. his voice drops into that warm, gritty register you know too well from late-night calls, and despite the roar of the arena the moment feels impossibly intimate.
you tuck your hands under your arms, trying to calm the goosebumps, but the sheer thrill of seeing him own that stage while still tossing these tiny pieces of himself your way is overwhelming.
the final song explodes in confetti cannons. the boys hit their last pose, breathing hard, grinning wide. the screams from the audience are deafening; even the backstage staff exchange awed looks.
mark bows with the others, shouting “thank you!” into his mic, but as they turn to exit he catches your gaze one more time. he taps two fingers against his chest, then points subtly toward the hallway where you’re waiting and mouths the words stay right there, i’ll find you.
and you waited exactly where he told you to.
or… at least tried to.
but the moment the boys disappeared off stage, chaos swallowed everything whole. several stagehands rushed past with crates, wires and gear flying in every direction, staff barking orders into walkies while backup dancers and security weaved in and out of the narrow corridors.
you stepped back into the corner, trying not to get trampled, but every second you waited the crowd thickened, people shouting over each other, crew passing by so quickly that you were bumped into more than once. you caught glimpses of the members being swept off into different directions—haechan laughing breathlessly with a towel around his neck, johnny taking a water bottle from someone. but there was no sight of mark.
“you can’t stand here,” someone snaps, grabbing your elbow and steering you quickly away. “please, move along.”
“wait, i was supposed to—” you start, but your protest drowns in the noise as you’re guided through the maze of corridors. 
you glance over your shoulder anxiously, panic rising in your throat. mark said he’d find you but you don’t even know where you’re going.
the staff member stops abruptly near a back exit, where a van is parked outside the open door. he gestures hurriedly. “wait in there, please. someone will be with you shortly.”
before you can question it, he’s already vanished back into the building. hesitantly, you climb into the empty van, settling awkwardly on the leather seat. not even a minute later your phone buzzes with a text from mark.
mark: where are you??? backstage is insane, i can’t find you.
you quickly reply: someone moved me to a van near the back entrance?
your heart pounds as minutes stretch into eternity and doubt starts gnawing at you—they will probably film some behind the scenes content now, interviews, livestreams, what if he doesn’t have time to find you before he’s sent away?
but just as anxiety peaks, the van door suddenly slides open. your eyes widen as mark appears, breathing heavily like he ran to reach you, his stage makeup slightly smudged, hair damp and tousled from the performance. he sighs in relief, shoulders visibly relaxing the second he sees you.
“oh, thank god,” he breathes, climbing quickly into the van and closing the door behind him. “i was so worried. everything okay?”
“yeah, it was just really hectic—” you start, but your words fade as he sits beside you, closer than you’ve ever really been. close enough that you can see the faint glitter along his jaw, the sweat glistening at his temples, the warmth in his gaze as it settles fully on your face.
“you were incredible out there,” you say softly. “i’ve never…  it’s different seeing it up close.”
his cheeks pink despite the post-performance flush. “i kept looking for you.” 
“i noticed,” you admit, smiling.
mark’s gaze drops to your hands twisting in your lap and he reaches out.
“thanks for being here,” he murmurs. 
your laugh is a shaky exhale. “i wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“also…the NDA,” he starts quietly. “i didn’t want you to feel like i was cornering you into some weird situation. that’s not what this is.”
“mark, i didn’t think that. i mean—it was overwhelming, yeah, but i get it. you’re…” you gesture helplessly. “you.”
he laughs softly, but there’s no real humor behind it. “i hate it. you know, not being able to just… hang out with you. not having the freedom to do normal things, like… i don’t know—go get coffee or show you the city or tell people about you without it turning into a whole thing.”
“is that what this is? am i…” you hesitate. “something you’d want to tell people about?”
he looks up at you, and there’s not a trace of hesitation when he says, “yes. i think about it all the time.”
you blink, throat suddenly dry.
he leans in slightly. “i just… i didn’t want you to think i was trying to make you sign your silence just so i could keep you a secret. it’s not about hiding you. it’s about protecting something that means a lot to me.”
and there it is. the part he hadn’t said yet.
you mean a lot to him.
your chest tightens with the weight of being chosen in a world that doesn’t make space for this kind of closeness, that demands boundaries, a good image and clean lines drawn in ink. and yet here he is, blurring those lines for you.
“thank you for saying that,” you murmur, voice trembling a little. “i didn’t realize how much i needed to hear it.”
mark reaches across the space then, taking your other hand. “i don’t want this to feel like you’re walking on eggshells because of my life. i want it to feel real.”
your fingers tighten around his instinctively.
“it already does,” you whisper.
and when he finally closes the distance between you, pulling you into a quiet, careful hug, it feels so right.
his arms wrap around you and for a second the world outside the van ceases to exist. he’s warm even through his stage jacket, you can feel his heartbeat thudding fast against your cheek. you breathe him in, clean sweat and fabric softener.
when he pulls back, he doesn’t release your hand. his thumb brushes lazy paths over your knuckles.
“i kept picturing this,” he admits quietly. “all week. wondering if it would feel the same in person as it did in my head.”
“and?” you whisper.
“it’s even better,” he says without hesitation.
he shifts slightly, the space between you rapidly shrinking. his gaze flickers briefly down to your lips, and the movement sends your pulse racing.
“mark,” you whisper, voice barely audible, “i—”
his other hand gently finds your cheek, thumb tracing lightly along your skin, tipping your chin up just a fraction. he searches your face, breathing shallow and eyes heavy with something soft and vulnerable.
you lean in instinctively, eyes fluttering closed as his breath ghosts warm over your lips—
and then the van door suddenly swings open, a burst of noise and harsh backstage lighting flooding in.
“mark hyung, manager hyung says—oh shit.” haechan freezes halfway inside the doorway. “ohhh, sorry… was i interrupting something?”
mark jerks back, cheeks blazing crimson as his hand quickly leaves your cheek and lands awkwardly in his lap. “dude, are you serious?” he groans, dropping his head with a sigh and muttering a very un-idol-like curse word. 
you cover your mouth, laughing breathlessly through the embarrassment even as your pulse continues hammering in your ears.
“sorry, sorry,” haechan says, grinning wickedly, clearly not sorry at all. “but uh, we gotta go. manager hyung’s freaking out. we got an interview, hurry up.”
“yeah. coming.” he searches your face, apology written in his eyes “they’ll herd us to the hotel soon. can you wait a little longer? i want to ride with you after they clear the crowd.”
you nod, trying to ignore the throb of almost-kiss still sparking across your lips. “i’m not going anywhere.”
“give me twenty minutes tops, and then i’m kidnapping you for actual food.”
“bold of you to assume i’d say no.”
as he slips out, you catch the faintest curve of a smile before the door thuds shut and you’re alone again.
thirty minutes later, mark slips back into the van. this time freshly changed, hair still damp but swept under a dark cap.
“sorry that took forever.” he drops into the seat opposite you, knee bouncing with leftover adrenaline. “do you wanna come meet the other members properly before we leave?”
you follow him back through a quieter service corridor to a smaller green room that smells heavily like hair spray. inside, half the members are sprawled on sofas in various states of post-show exhaustion. the energy shifts the second mark ushers you in.
“guys, this is y/n,” he says.
taeyong shoots up first, hand extended. “the legend herself,” he jokes, grinning wide enough to prove he’s still riding his performance high. jaehyun offers a shy wave and drags over a chair so you won’t have to hover. yuta, also walks over and introduces himself politely.
doyoung is the only one who stays seated, arms folded. his eyes flick between you and mark, assessing. it lasts all of three seconds before he notices how relaxed mark looks—those shoulders that usually sit somewhere near his ears are loose, his smile easy. doyoung’s expression softens.
“thanks for cheering him up,” he says quietly, a little sheepish. “he’s been impossible the last few weeks.” the tease lands gentle, and mark flicks a sweat towel at him in retaliation.
the small talk bubbles up easily. the topic shifting from favorite festival moments, to whose in-ears cut out, and the confetti that caught in doyoung’s mouth during a high note. the atmosphere is warm and surprisingly normal, until a manager pops his head in to remind everyone they’ve got early rehearsals tomorrow.
mark steers you quickly back to the van after saying a quick goodbye.
“so…” he ran a hand through his hair and put his hat back on. “food?”
“please,” you groaned, head falling back against the seat. “i’m starving.”
“wanna go to a restaurant?” he offered.
you winced. “too risky.”
he nodded slowly. “true, my hotel’s worse.”
you turned your head to face him. “sasaengs?”
“they wait outside sometimes, follow the vans from the venue” he trailed off, already looking annoyed with the reality of it.
“we could…” you swallow, then barrel through. “we could go to my place? it’s not far, and no one knows where i live. we can order in.”
mark’s head tilts, surprised but already nodding. “are you sure?”
“only if you’re okay hiding out in a tiny apartment that smells like scented candles and stale coffee.”
he smiles brightly. “sounds perfect.”
you rattle off your address to the driver, heart hammering as you drive through the city. mark’s knee bumps yours every time the van hits a pothole, but neither of you moves away.
he glances over. “thank you for trusting me with your space.”
you breathe out a shaky laugh. “thank you for trusting me with… all of this.”
his fingers brush yours on the seat between you. outside, the van slows to a stop at your curb. the driver kills the lights for discretion. thankfully, the street is empty.
you turn to mark, pulse racing for an entirely new reason now. “welcome to my part of the world.”
he grins, tugging his cap lower and reaching for the door handle. “lead the way.”
your apartment is small, cluttered with book stacks and half-burned candles, but it’s yours—and when mark steps in, slipping off his shoes at the door like he’s done it a hundred times, it feels suddenly, impossibly domestic.
“so,” he murmurs, looking around with quiet curiosity. “what’s good for takeout around here?”
you settle on thai food after a chaotic five-minute debate that ends with mark looking up from your couch and going, “okay but do you trust me with your spice tolerance?”
you blink at him. “mark. i watched you cry eating jalapeño chips during that one livestream.”
“they were ghost pepper!” he defends, slightly pouting. “and i didn’t cry, my eyes were just... dry.”
you giggle and the tension that had followed you into the apartment fades with it.
while you wait for the food, he wanders around your space with curiosity. never touching too much, just observing. he stops at your bookcase, smiles at the titles stacked sideways, fingers brushing one of the cracked spines.
“so this is where you’ve been calling from,” he says as he returns to the couch, flopping down beside you. “it’s cozy.”
“that’s code for small, right?”
he tilts his head, grinning softly. “no. cozy means i don’t want to leave.”
you glance over at him, heartbeat spiking in your throat. his hoodie’s a little rumpled from the ride, cap tossed somewhere by your front door, and he’s leaned so close your shoulders brush.
“you’re kind of the only boy who’s ever said that,” you murmur.
“then they’re idiots.”
your lips twitch with a smile. mark leans his head back on the cushion, you get distracted by the cute bump on his nose and the lines of his jaw.
you both fall quiet for a while, your legs stretched out beside his on the couch, ankles knocking occasionally. your body relaxes more than you expect, as if it remembers this feeling from all those calls and imaginary versions of this moment.
when the takeout finally arrives, you both eat cross-legged on the couch, plastic containers open between you, your playlist humming low in the background.
you talk through mouthfuls of noodles about everything and nothing—his weird craving for peaches whenever he’s overseas, your childhood phase of putting ketchup on rice, how you both secretly judge people who don’t rewind movies when they pause.
somewhere between “i really miss my mom’s kimchi stew” and your story about the nightmare customer who demanded gluten-free breadsticks, your shoulders touch. a minute later his arm slips along the back of the couch, fingers grazing your shoulder each time he shifts. your nerves fizz under your skin, but the contact feels safe.
You lean into him. He doesn’t move away.
the conversation slows and when you glance up to make a joke, your nose brushes the edge of his jaw. his breath hitches at this, then a warm hand settles on your knee.
“this feels…” he starts, swallowing. “kinda unreal.”
“yeah.” a whisper—because your voice has gone missing.
his palm lifts to your cheek, thumb soft against your skin. “can I kiss you?”
you’re already nodding.
the first kiss is shy and careful, more smile than pressure. The next slips deeper, mouths moving in a lazy rhythm neither of you rush. Your fingers tangle in the hem of his hoodie; his other hand skims your waist, pulling you just close enough to feel the quiet drum of his heart.
eventually the couch gets too cramped. mark breaks the kiss with a sheepish laugh. “my back is dying,” he murmurs.
you tug him down the hall to your room, giggling when he nearly trips on a sneaker. he perches on the edge of the bed and you climb into his lap without thinking, legs draped around him. his hands settle on your hips and he sighs.
“i really, really like you,” he says, forehead resting against yours.
“i like you too. a lot.”
he kisses you again. you spend the next half hour like that, trading soft laughs and softer kisses until the adrenaline drains from his limbs. head falls heavy on your shoulder, he mumbles something about the best night of his life…and falls asleep mid-sentence.
You ease him back onto the pillows, kick off your skirt, and curl into the space beneath his arm. One leg hooks over yours; his hand rests at the small of your back, protective even in sleep.
it’s the tenth call that finally wakes him the next morning.
mark groans into your pillow, dragging his phone blindly toward his face. “what…”
a second goes by and then he jolts upright. “shit. shit.”
you blink groggily, one arm reaching out for him. “what’s wrong?”
he’s already stumbling for his shirt which he doesn’t even remember taking off last nigh. “i slept in. i never—fuck, i never sleep in.”
you sit up slowly, watching him try to shove his hat over tousled hair while checking his phone. “i have like ten missed calls.”
he answers the incoming call hurriedly, voice tense and apologetic. “yeah, i’m sorry, i know… i’m on my way now, just got… held up. i’ll explain later.”
he glances down at you then, taking in your messy hair, swollen lips and sleepy eyes, and the look on his face softens just a little.
when he finally hangs up, he rushes back to your side, quickly pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i gotta run, but i'll text you as soon as i can. i promise.”
you smile sleepily up at him, already missing the warmth of his body against yours. “go. don’t get in trouble.”
he pauses briefly before leaving. “last night was… perfect. thank you.”
and then he’s gone, leaving you to curl back into your pillow, still feeling the ghost of his touch and the lingering warmth of everything you shared.
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fernsandtales · 3 months ago
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🫛 🥕 I will never stop loving making these whimsy needle books.
I enjoy every bit of them, especially how tactile they are. They take forever and a day to embroider, crochet and needle felt.
I have a desire to make an A5 book cover, but I fear it's going to be way too expensive for me to be able to sell it.
[purchase here]
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verenvuoto · 6 months ago
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Comics in this series: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 [this one!]
Ok so this one is just some assorted ideas + an introduction to the OCs I had to create for this AU, so that we have some villains to be mad at. and a guest appearance of my regular OC, for the funsies.
Thank you so much for your kind comments on this AU, it makes me vary happy! <3
Take care and a happy new year to all of you!
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bananakeiky · 2 years ago
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Choose your fighter
instagram | carrd
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ronkeyroo · 1 year ago
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ECHO VN
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eggsistential-breakdown · 7 months ago
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started making this a couple weeks ago and then learned there's an art contest for it! had a lot more in mind for this but the deadline is as good of an excuse as any to force myself to take things manageably. Hopefully will be able to get to the end of it someday it's so epic in my brain hrgrgghgh
Song is by @sparkbirdmusic
youtube
also I have a YouTube channel now :3
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lexia-solve-e · 8 months ago
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monster born into this best, most beloved world
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jagalart · 2 months ago
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Two icons for the wonderful people - @ vinvinxnb and @ speckledwolf who saved me when I realized that something broke during last minute convention preparations 😅 I loved working on these two!
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soapyakships · 6 months ago
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ruh roh..........
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artharakka · 4 months ago
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Detail from a Middle Llehian fresco depicting the sea goddess Maare rising the wind from the crimson morning sea, so that the birds may lift the sun to the skies.
Style testing cultural art style for a story project I've rotated for a while. I've posted some character art of that to my Patreon, but I've been planning to slowly start posting the oldest ones here as well. This was originally a ttrpg setting, but since I've made it a setting to rotate and plan without secrecy with my sibling, it doesn't have to be behind the scenes material only anymore.
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captain-clandestiny · 3 months ago
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grisped. grabbed. snatched. both a symbolic illustration the hold life has had on me lately and a canon event from the Blusleeves storyline
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pictures-and-things-321 · 2 months ago
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I was wearing the lichen themed hair clip I made, while on a walk yesterday. I spotted some beautiful lichen and moss and decided to have an impromptu photo shoot. So here are a whole bunch of pictures of my hair clip alongside the organisms that inspired it, just because.
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Plus 2 bonus pictures of lichen because I love it.
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hyakunana · 6 months ago
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Sponsor Switch!
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